How do I remove the red pill when applied to self?

youalreadyknow07 · 2026-05-22T10:53:52+00:00

Did your life get better because of the red pill, or are you simply not in middle/high school anymore?

Instigated- · 2026-05-22T05:03:43+00:00

I’m no expert, this is food for thought:

1) there is nothing inherently bad in trying to improve oneself and one’s circumstances. The question is what bar you’re using to measure yourself by, what you’re aspiring to, and if that is a worthy pursuit.

For example redpill sees kindness as a weakness and measures people based on looks, wealth, getting laid, competitiveness against other people, which includes a lot of judgment and nastiness to others.

While Jesus preached kindness, inclusiveness, selflessness, care for others, and non-judgement.

Which philosophy do you want to follow and better yourself towards? Who is your role model?

Modern life is certainly more complicated than the bible stories, and you don’t need to be perfect or a saint - Jesus would have accepted you as you are.

When you pursue a higher income, is this motivated by a desire to provide stability and care for loved ones, or chasing prestige and empty status symbols like fast cars?

Self improvement is a life long quest, however that shouldn’t involve self hatred for where you are now on the journey. Align to good values. Value your strengths. Work on your weaknesses. It is your own personal journey.

2) competitiveness and comparison is folly. Don’t compare or judge yourself against others. Don’t compare or judge them either. That is the ignorance and stupidity of RP.

Humankind has evolved as social creatures, we could not exist without each other, civilisation is built on people working together.

Every person has different strengths and this diversity is a benefit in our relationships, workplaces, communities, and for humankind survival.

No one person can excel at everything, so we bring together people with different strengths, and the united group benefits from powers combined.

When you judge others, you are most likely undervaluing their strengths and contributions that may be different to yours, or overlooking their importance to another person who values them for different reasons, or simply being unfair and unforgiving - as we all started from nothing and it takes time and opportunity for us to develop.

(The one exception I will give is when a person is harming another person. Then they deserve judgment. Judgement is how we weigh things in the balance and hold people to account when they do wrong so they have the opportunity to learn from their mistakes. Without repercussions they will not learn the right lesson).

Someone who is weak now could be strong in a year. Someone who is strong now could break and be weak in a year. We all have ups and downs. Judgment won’t help with this.

When you judge yourself as being less than others - especially when you don’t even know those people and are judging purely on superficial appearances - you are measuring with the wrong bar and being unfair to yourself.

Self improvement is intended to be a personal thing, not a competitive or judgemental thing. It is when you identity something you want to be better at for yourself, and you improve on your personal best. You gain success by improving over time, compared to your past self.

3) you were loved from the moment you were conceived. A baby doesn’t know how to do shit, yet babies are well loved nonetheless.

RP doesn’t know anything about love and are giving misinformation and even suggestions that will damage potential for love.

Don’t rely on a romantic partner’s love to validate you and your self worth. You need to build your self worth in yourself, with friends, family, community, and your romantic partner will just be one more addition.

One mistake RP is focus on instant attraction. Looksmaxxing might help get more instant attention, however that is short lived. People want to connect emotionally and feel safe (both physically and psychologically), and kindness and care are more attractive for relationships than superficial fixation on appearances. Being an honest authentic considerate person who is genuinely interested in the other person (not just their looks) goes further in relationships.

Looksmaxxing is very damaging to your mental health and may undermine you. Undermine your confidence, or perception.

If your focus on appearances means you focus on women who look a certain way, or you only value them for their appearances, you may be turning women off who want to be valued for who they are.

Be wary that if you are using BP techniques you may be repelling the kind of women who you actually want, and attracting those that won’t form the kind of relationship you want. If you talk up your money, that attracts people who are attracted to money rather than those who might be attracted by a shared commitment to faith.

On the topic of romantic love, you might need to start with baby steps. Socialise, make friends, get to know people and build trust, care and familiarity without the pressure of instant attraction or dating. Having lots of female friends will increase your chances of finding a good match.

4) instead of RP, start learning about what women actually want and value in romantic partners FROM WOMEN and real life relationships.

Watch quality balanced documentaries exploring love, dating, sex and relationships, like Virgin Island, couples therapy, love on the spectrum, sex love and goop.

Read feminist literature and romantic fiction by and for women. Eg Jane Austen, Normal People by Sally Rooney (it’s also a tv show), Hunger Games.

[I’d say watch some good romantic films, except actors are all far more good looking than average people and given make up, designers, body doubles, and editing, that make them look far better than humanely possible and I note this may trigger your inferiority complex. So books would probably be better.]

The point of this is to see that women value kindness and want to feel safe, respected, and an emotional connection. Women are attracted to different qualities in men (some like geeky intellectuals, or emo musicians, or handy tradies, or gentle giants, while others like sporty chads. Some are attracted to similar cultures, and others to opposites). Not all that the RP claims.

Yes women, like men,will also want “attraction” but this is not disproportionate. There are just as many average looking women as average looking men. And, just like how people prefer their coffee in different ways, women have different preferences to one another. Short women might prefer a short man. However there are also tall women who date short men, and tall men who date short women - many of these things are not deal breakers.

RP is very reductive and promotes a very narrow restricted view of the world, so broaden your view to see the diversity of real relationships.

PleasePleaseHer · 2026-05-23T12:18:01+00:00

Sounds like you’ve engaged in neocapitalism and gender norms. Being a successful capitalist doesn’t make you a happier person but you can certainly make money.

Redpilling is more the belief that women and progressive ideologies are the reason men are lonely and poor and this must be eradicated.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2026-05-24T23:23:05+00:00

Things like me needing to "be better" than others. Make more money, be stronger, have more skills, etc to be loved.
The issue is, the red pill mindset kinda worked. I make 2x more than my mom and abt 10x more than people my age. I am a 19M and have done looksmaxxing, and have gotten treated better and overal boost in life.

Well if all this worked and you are happy and having an amazing life with fulfilling relationships with women then why are you making this post at all? Are you actually living this life where you are happy and have great relationships with women?

VisceralSardonic · 2026-05-22T01:34:18+00:00

I’m not sure what you mean about the red pill working here. What about this is red pill? To me it seems like you worked towards your goals and feel a sense of accomplishment and have better self esteem because of it.

Title	How do I remove the red pill when applied to self?
Author	carter_barceIo
Upvotes	1
Comments	13
Date	May 22, 2026 12:54 AM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1tk3jor/how_do_i_remove_the_red_pill_when_applied_to_self/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-do-i-remove-the-red-pill-when-applied-to-self.1580914 https://theredarchive.com/post/1580914

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