i'm sorry, but with everything that happened, i'm afraid this is gonna be long.

to provide some context, i'm a nurse, massively burned out and depressed for quite some time.
covid hasn't been kind to us.
i told him idk how many times that i'm more than just exhausted (and depressed), especially after work, so i couldn't muster the energy to have sex with him on a regular basis.
lately, my thoughts revolve around unliving myself, which i didn't tell him... i didn't want to worry him.
( kind of tragically funny, cause he doesn't anyway)
we still talked like usual, while it's mostly him doing some monologue.
he expressed several times that men got all the disadvantages, that dating culture is easier and in favor for women, that feminists suck, that women have it easier in life.
in general, he's an expat, not working, prefers staying in the bedroom, watching youtube and such.
he has clinical depression since his service.

he went on " vacation" 2 weeks ago for a month in a remote area in the middle of nowhere, claiming it wasn't cause of me or us.
messaged me when he got there but didn't call for almost a week.
said he's doing nothing really but doesn't tell me about his day.
claimed there was a female exchange student permanently living at the air bnb.
in the middle of nowhere... more than 30 mins away from the next city by car.
sus, cause air bnb only allows booking for 90 days per year max.
went to the cinema twice with the female host, one time he didn't even tell me, leaving me on read.
second time, he didn't reply for like 5 or 6 hours, claiming he didn't know the movie was 3 hours long.
went to meet up with a female friend, whom he knows for 8 years, which isn't a big deal per se, if it wasn't for him gushing over her, how smart and nice she is.
( he's doing that with another female friend too but unlike the one he met up with,she's not in a happy relationship and he already booked a vacation to where she's from)
i said " oh, city x is pretty close to the ocean" and he called bullshit.
he always doubts facts that i'm presenting to him by default as if i'm dumb.
compared to his gushing and pretending i'm dumb, i expressed how i feel about it.
well, he got mad big time, didn't talk to me for 2 days.
additionally, i asked him why he's online but not responding or taking hours to reply when he's allgedly doing nothing.
his answer was, to log out of every device so that, according to him, i couldn't use our shared tablet to see if he's indeed online.
make it make sense.
before, i could've gone through his mail, messenger apps, instagram any time but never did.
never saw a reason why i should've.
he also put a password on his computer, which i discovered after he logged out of everything.
additionally, he's set up a new messenger app, it even shows the date on top of the chat when he joined.
tried this with a colleague who never had my number and indeed, the date of "first seen", i guess, shows on top in the chat.
i've always been an open book, he had access to all my devices but to this day, i've never known even one of his passwords.
every time we actually talked on the phone he was curt, tried his best to sound as if he rather wanted to do something else, didn't reveal anything about what he's doing there.
hung up on me just saying bye, claiming he said that he loved me but seriously, he didn't.
he got mad about that too.
ok so, after his continued unwillingness to call or not answering calls, taking loooong times to reply, i confronted him again how i feel about all of this weird ass shit that's happening, his logging out of all devices etc and he reacted by dumping me by text.
he claimed that i've ignored him, not cared about him, always doubt him, that i'm destroying his efforts to make the relationship better, that i'm hurting his feelings.
one comment baffled me : " i did not spend 5 years being faithfully monogamous forr you to do this to me", saying i was acting crazy.
that i'm tripping up the tempo of him easing into the idea of a vacation without distractions.
i have no idea what he was talking about... since he said he didn't go on vacation cause we had some issues.
i'm working my ass off so that we can live okish with just one income, until we move to the u.s., taking care of everything,
him not even helping out with chores despite me struggling with depression, exhaustion etc. and i told him as much.
at first, he wanted a separation but no divorce, later, when we talked, he changed his mind.
after he claimed we're good, i was still emotionally charged and blurted out that i got suicidal thoughts. i didn't have any ulterior motives, it just happened.
he said we would solve the issues when he'll get home. in 2 weeks.
the next day, we talked on the phone, he was curt and passive aggressive.
the day after that, everything was back to normal.
then, he refused to talk to me for 2 days.
yesterday, i video called him, since we haven't seen each other for weeks and cause i was struggling. he didn't pick up.
he called back half an our later, claiming he missed it.
someone who is always paranoid about security and safety, especially after having gotten a new phone, leaving his phone in his room that he can't even lock according to what he told me?
he didn't really talk much, looking in all directions as if checking for something, claimed there were weird noises, then claimed there was shouting.
he ended the call on grounds of " investigating" the noise.
i innocently asked 20 mins later if everything was alright, got no response.
since i told him how bad my mental state really is, he hasn't bothered to ask me one single time how i'm doing, how i'm coping.
i intended to distract myself and opened youtube on the tablet.
there was a lot of red pill labeled shit as suggestions, aswell as videos of he who shall not be named.
his history is full of videos ranging from red pill, dating, destroying feminists.

i'll leave it up to the experts here to decide if this is indeed red pill behavior.

sorry for the long post.