I feel like nothing is working.

GladysSchwartz23 · 2025-09-15T17:27:05+00:00

The crappy thing about genuine self improvement is, none of the benefits are immediately apparent or satisfying. They accrue over time, which can make it feel like nothing is happening at all.

There will be a point in which you're able to (metaphorically) look down and see how far you've climbed. I know it sucks, but the effort will pay off!

Throwawayuser1134 · 2025-09-15T03:37:16+00:00

I'll do my best, but I can't say I have all the answers. Your hopelessness is something I think we've all felt, but it doesn't make it any less real. Rest assured, putting yourself out there is good, but it also requires a lot of self awareness, and, well, masks. Presenting our best self, is how I like saying it. At the same time, the intentions matter as much. Are you going out for fun or to feel like you're not failing? Either of those will be subconsciously reflected in your interactions.

Change does happen, but you have to be the catalyst to make it happen, not just wait for it to magically happen. And I'm not saying you're not trying, I'm sure you are. What I am saying is that if all you're waiting for is that change to happen, then it'll never happen. You need to find a way to make it happen. Whether that's working out or taking better care of your hygiene or stuff like that.

That leads into my next point. Merits. Can you say you have accomplishments or progress that you can look back on to know that you are something? If not, then work on that. It's the basis of confidence. I know I literally just said hit the gym and take a shower, but it helps.

More importantly, something I deeply empathize with is your desire for social and romantic connection. At some point, I felt this deeply, to the point where I considered less than healthy ways out of it. In truth, it comes down to the very nature of desire. We desire and seek out things we can't easily attain. When something comes easy, there's less value we put on it. Romantic and social connection feels impossible, so you desire it strongly. Even recognizing this is helpful. Not to fix the problem but to understand why you're feeling it. The next step isn't as simple. I got out of my funk by somehow meeting someone who became my best friend. For you, it won't be the same, but it comes down to just trying to find your people. It's hard, you'll get rejected, just because you're you, but, you will find your people. Maybe if you do, you'll feel that connection, and that desire will vanish.

Like I said, I don't have all the answers. What sucks about living on this ball of rust is that there's never a guide to these things. But, I do want to help you, which, I know, sounds strange coming from some person on the internet.

To conclude, my advice is to just work on aspects of yourself you're unhappy with, and to recognize where your longing for connection comes from.

ShelterOk4035 · 2025-09-25T02:55:52+00:00

as soon as you realize that no adult deserves unconditional love the happier you will be.

Title	I feel like nothing is working.
Author	Maps_and_Politics
Upvotes	7
Comments	7
Date	September 15, 2025 2:55 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1nhals7/i_feel_like_nothing_is_working/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-feel-like-nothing-is-working.1562015 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562015

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