Incels need help

jeannedargh · 2020-04-30T17:42:57+00:00

How to help those that deny that they need help?

globeglobeglobe · 2020-04-30T19:39:18+00:00

Redpill/blackpill ideologies ensnare people with a surface layer of simple truths and half-truths. As a 5'8" Indian-origin man in the US, who entered college with no social ability, I can personally attest to many of these---being seen as "creepy" or an "arrogant STEM male" when in actuality I just had poor social skills, very few people giving a damn when I was sexually harassed. The list goes on.

As a simple and compelling (but false and hateful) explanation for these observations, TRP/TBP promote garbage about the biological "true nature of women." In reality, such incidents are the result of pervasive, subconscious societal racism, and are nothing to do with women or dating in particular. They also appear in the professional arena---for one "research position" I was used essentially as an underpaid software engineer, and was portrayed as aggressive and arrogant for aspiring to more. "Women" are certainly not the root cause here.

Of course, "biological" factors such as looks, confidence, and charm (the definitions of which are themselves influenced by culture) heavily influence success in dating. However, unlike what incels say none of these are set in stone, and can be improved by diet, exercise, and social practice. What's more, they don't understand that any given girl not finding them sexually attractive is not necessarily a judgment on their moral character (and those who judge morality on attraction are either insecure/naïve/impressionable, or more rarely just shitty people). Misconceptions like these prevent incels from making themselves more appealing, and from any sort of positive engagement with women (some of whom may be attracted!)

I think that incels should be dragged out of their cult similarly to how they were dragged in---accept their factual observations of the world, but present a far more logical, evidence-based, and less hateful narrative as an explanation. A narrative that gives them the prospect to improve themselves and engage positively with the opposite sex and obtain happiness.

globeglobeglobe · 2020-05-03T15:24:23+00:00

They do need help, but women are reluctant to show empathy and support those who see their loneliness and lookism as gateways to abuse and degradation. I used to think I need to assume some kind of a therapeutic approach, but the more I interacted with incels, the more scared I became. I don't think I can help in any way without damaging my own mental health in the process. "Bad people" is pretty subjective. The incels I spoke with advocated for "enforced monogamy", banning of abortion and shaming promiscuous women, and this isn't the whole list. You can stop being a bad person, but you can't expect people will empathise if you see everybody as an enemy and women as an evil to be contained.

PaulaJMM · 2020-04-30T16:56:41+00:00

They are bad people, though. You don’t wish rape, murder, disfigurement, and general devastation on people just because they don’t satisfy your urges on demand by being simply misguided. You have to be a pretty shitty person to do that.

Title	Incels need help
Author	Estupido12312
Upvotes	2
Comments	13
Date	April 29, 2020 1:42 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/ga9omc/incels_need_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/incels-need-help.657711 https://theredarchive.com/post/657711

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