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globeglobeglobe Archive

View 10 posts and 139 comments by globeglobeglobe on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

but another thing I would suggest is to gradually expose yourself more to social situations. I used to think I was the absolute bottom of the barrel when it came to social situations, but when I started going out more, meeting more people, and "practicing" socializing, I started to think "hey, things aren't so bad." Yeah, I felt the same way as well at first, because even after talking to many people I found it difficult to make friends. What I realized is that by trying to rush the process, I t…
/r/ExRedPill20/05/22 08:56 AM
2

Thanks for the kind words! As for “addressing trauma”, I began the usual “self-improvement” things a couple of years ago, but lived close to home during my bachelors then so didn’t have a clear motivation or ability to socialize with more people/go to therapy (and just as I finished my bachelor’s, COVID delayed this process further). I live in a different country now, and only now appreciate the extent of these problems. I definitely like what I’m doing; it’s not something I’m doing for my paren…
/r/ExRedPill17/05/22 07:57 AM
1

No, only if there's a strong attractiveness discrepancy between you, too. Unattractive guy with money goes for attractive girl without money = "beta bucks" Similarly attractive people with similar levels of education = assortative matching. No shady intentions. These people have the lowest risk of divorce and the strongest relationship.s I'd say "Similarly attractive people with similar levels of education" are necessary, but not sufficient conditions for a good relationship. I'm in a male-domin…
/r/ExRedPill02/05/22 06:08 AM
5

The grass is always greener on the other side. I was (and many incel/redpill-adjacent types were) raised in socially conservative families, where dating advice assumed a male financial provider: "once you have a house/car/good job the right girl will come to you", "dating becomes easier in your late 20s when girls are over the assholes and want a real man", etc. Such a single-minded focus on career arrests the physical, emotional, or social development that create a healthy relationship, and is …
/r/ExRedPill01/05/22 09:28 AM
1

Sorry for the late response, I just saw this in my notifications after deleting this (extremely stupid) post. Perhaps it's not merely what you say, but what you come across as. Asking someone out is just as much about nonverbal cues as it is about verbal ones. Even if you say the right things, if you persist while they display avoidant body language or act like you're "closing in," women can easily associate you (or at the very least their experience with you) as something unpleasant or uncomfor…
/r/ExRedPill20/02/22 01:31 PM
2

As an American studying in Germany, I can confirm that what you're saying is true; confidence/"just going for it" is frowned upon (even more so than in the US). Really, for me it's a reassurance-seeking method: I wasn't very good-looking or well-spoken until recently, and have limited dating experience (still a virgin), so often second-guessed (still do) whether a girl was really into me. It's an unhealthy coping mechanism, and for many girls, gives the impression that I'd move things too fast i…
/r/ExRedPill16/01/22 06:06 PM
2

Thanks for your comment! After becoming more attractive, much of the attention I got was from the same women who'd previously branded me a "creep": indeed, some tried to win me over by advertising their willingness to do kinky/degrading shit. One girl, indeed, was trying to cheat on her much older, provider-type loser boyfriend---I'm glad I did the due diligence to find this out, as if I hadn't, she could've easily fabricated an assault story if she got caught. I doubt any of these people would …
/r/ExRedPill13/12/21 07:58 AM
1

Let me try to rewrite this for you, in less loaded terms: “I’m a 23-year-old man, and my short height and nonwhite ethnicity have given me a lot of self-doubt when it comes to dating. Growing up in a socially conservative household, I never learned any skills for attracting the opposite sex, other than to study hard, get a well-paying job, and become a good financial provider for a wife and family. As an undergraduate, this mentality (and the time I devoted to studying) brought me absolutely no …
/r/ExRedPill07/12/21 10:26 PM
3

Because it selects for cynical and insecure women who hate men and expect them to be abusive—but are willing to endure shitty behavior from attractive “alpha” men in hopes of “changing” them. Men deemed less desirable (“beta”) are relegated to performing unrequited emotional/other labor, and if they aspire to anything more, get stigmatized as creeps, sexists, etc. Whichever bin you fall into (and sometimes it isn’t clear), you’re subject to stupid mind games, rumors/intrigue, and false accusatio…
/r/ExRedPill04/12/21 09:29 AM
1

Partially true in some sense, but at the same time, not true at all. Ideally, dating is a process of figuring out which qualities are important to the success of any given relationship. For a casual fling, looks, superficial charm, and (above all) availability are of paramount importance, whereas for something more serious, empathy, intelligence, trustworthiness, etc. start playing an important role. Attaching excess importance to casual-sex desirability, as incels and femcels do due to their la…
/r/ExRedPill25/10/21 09:52 PM
1

Fair enough. I used excessively harsh terms because writing this post brought back painful memories; dealing with these people and the fear they created caused major professional (shitty rec letters/grad school rejection) and personal (I ruined, by my fear of escalation, the Valentine’s Day of an acquaintance who came to me after ditching an abusive boyfriend) setbacks. In more descriptive and somewhat less loaded terms: the women I'm talking about are narcissistic attention-seekers with multipl…
/r/ExRedPill25/10/21 06:18 AM
1

I think you're doing ok. It's normal – where 'normal' means 'sensible and beneficial for healthy personal development' – to be anxious about how you express yourself socially, and to lie awake at night cringing at how you totally screwed up back there. It's normal to experience rejection as something painful and scary, and you clearly don't attach the same acidic resentment that redpillers do to being turned down. It's less normal to behave as though the threat of baseless accusations of impropr…
/r/ExRedPill24/10/21 09:05 PM
1

Thanks very much for this resource! Yeah, I really need to dissipate the shame/hurt surrounding my bad experiences in the past, the only question is how to avoid this shit in the future.
/r/ExRedPill24/10/21 05:19 PM
1

And a girl in a female-only sub, in a thread complaining about guys who pigeonhole us and apply all these preconceived ideas to our motives, said some guy was going on about how she was "shy" and a "homebody" but actually she had just broken a tooth a few hours prior so she wasn't being her normal self (possibly in pain, possibly inhibited if it looked ugly, possibly just inhibited generally bc that's how you act after an injury, it's self-protection) I fully agree with you, I've avoided many wo…
/r/ExRedPill24/10/21 04:17 PM
1

Thanks a lot for your very measured and non-judgmental response! Can you give me an example for what sort of thing you said, that provokes a reaction? One example: I remember as a 3rd year undergrad I once wished a girl I was interested in good luck on some exam on a particular day. This was apparently enough to get screamed at. Just to rub it in, a few minutes later she discussed how several men on the university rowing team were hitting her up, and that they were "creepy, but hot." Another: ha…
/r/ExRedPill24/10/21 03:36 PM
3

In my personal experience, there are abusive/controlling psychos at every income and education level. But it's true that the material conditions of our society (insufficient state-provided childcare/maternity leave, income inequality, rising cost of housing/healthcare/education, etc.) mean that unfortunately, gender equality is only accessible in practice for educated professionals. What remains are traditional-conservative pretensions of being a "real man" who "protects and provides for his wom…
/r/ExRedPill25/09/21 09:15 PM
5

Great answer, about sums up my experience with FDS types. All-around shitty people for whom relationships are just a means of personal advancement.
/r/ExRedPill15/09/21 08:34 PM
4

Yeah, they're just two sides of the same capitalist, socially conservative logic applied to dating. FDSers each expect a "real high value man" to "protect and provide" for them, while TRPers likewise try to "maximize their return on investment" in the "sexual marketplace." I once had the great displeasure of interacting with such an FDS-type (22F) at the university I worked at, who repeatedly badgered me (23M) for an affair that she tried to hide from her "higher-value" boyfriend (~33M, 6ft/6 fi…
/r/ExRedPill15/09/21 07:26 PM
1

At first glance, this looks pretty much like what a redpiller/blackpiller would say about "alpha"/"beta" or the "80-20 rule"---that a small fraction of men can, through physique/personality, get women to like them for who they are, but that for the vast majority sex is conceded grudgingly on the condition that the man agrees to "protect and provide." To the extent this is true, it's caused by capitalistic marriage arrangements (an individual man's salary, rather than society, covers the economic…
/r/ExRedPill09/09/21 01:32 AM
2

You have control over your mind and not other people. There is no point of forcing someone to like you. I find it hilarious when someone writes an essay why they should be this person's boyfriend/girlfriend. You never heard of someone writing an essay to someone to be their friend. It is what ever happens just happens. I've never tried to "convince" someone to like me, I agree that's fucking stupid. I'm not the persistent type at all, if anyone seems indecisive I just take it as a polite refusal…
/r/ExRedPill27/10/20 12:05 AM
1

Was hoping for some advice on it. I’d posted it to r/bropill and while I got some good advice, that sub doesn’t seem to be quite as active as I hoped so I figured I’d cross-post here.
/r/ExRedPill26/10/20 09:43 PM
2

Thanks for posting this. I’ve ditched a lot of the dumb theories but in practice I’m always on edge over the chance that I’m being taken for a ride. I too want to get this shit out of my head and stop living in fear.
/r/ExRedPill05/10/20 04:32 PM
1

I see the point you're trying to make, but honestly I think you're putting the cart before the horse. Nobody just wakes up one morning deciding they hate feminism; it's a process, and especially on a sub like this, we ought to appreciate this and avoid cartoonish caricatures. MGTOW shit arises (principally in the US) because despite decades of social liberalism, the US doesn't have a strong safety net. This means that everyone's partner choice is subject to economic constraints, with (in the abs…
/r/ExRedPill05/10/20 07:32 AM
2

marriage today as a way for women to screw you over and steal your resources, They aren't wrong that marriage has historically been (and unfortunately, to a degree, still is) a question of socioeconomic status, and that the burden to provide falls disproportionately on the man. What they omit is that in single-family households, such as are common in the US, a mother bears essentially the entire economic opportunity cost (lost wages/skills) of having children. If her hourly pay ends up being les…
/r/ExRedPill03/10/20 03:50 AM
1

Glad to hear you found my "insights" (lmao, I'm just a dude on the Internet) useful, and want to hear more of them. About AF/BB, I think the two parts are connected but not really opposites of one another. AF: I hope I explained that already. Dating apps expose a (relatively) broad cross-section of women to rich, successful, and/or very attractive men. As I mentioned, in our stratified society, relationships with these men (even if only for a short time) grant social and financial capital, and p…
/r/ExRedPill12/09/20 05:26 AM
1

Excellent and simple explanation. I think many people trying to detox would do well to hear about how online dating (and more generally, a rotting, neoliberal, stratified society) shifts perceptions and choices in the direction of "hypergamy" and "alpha/beta", rather than just the TRP narrative of how it's just an inevitable product of human nature.
/r/ExRedPill12/09/20 04:44 AM
1

As others have mentioned, the 80/20 rule is an example of a Pareto principle, which results when initial concentration of some quantity (wealth, land, density) can compound on itself through various forces (compound interest, gravity, what have you). Online dating (now accounting for ~40% of all couples meeting, and influencing "real life" as well) has the same compounding effect: the most-rightswiped (ergo, most-attractive) cards are placed at the top of the stack (so they get even more exposur…
/r/ExRedPill12/09/20 04:18 AM
2

Not sure what this graph is representing, but here https://www-forbes-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.forbes.com/sites/jackkelly/2020/01/13/women-now-hold-more-jobs-than-men/amp/?amp_js_v=a3&amp_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQFKAGwASA%3D#aoh=15994413439491&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&amp_tf=From%20%251%24s&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.forbes.com%2Fsites%2Fjackkelly%2F2020%2F01%2F13%2Fwomen-now-hold-more-jobs-than-men%2F The jobs report for December showed women holding 50.04% of all jobs. Now obviousl…
/r/ExRedPill07/09/20 06:20 AM
1

I'm not asking for "performative outrage" I'm expressing my frustrations with the media, and with women's double standards in general. I am asking for accountability, consistency, and an end to "selective outrage" you don't get to ignore this because "it's not worth your time" and then choose to get outraged over things that apply to your gender (fatshaming, or a perfect example would be T.I.'s violation of his daughters privacy with the obgyn visits to make sure she's still a virgin). You eithe…
/r/ExRedPill07/09/20 02:04 AM
2

If a man of JLos status were to make a similar statement publicly like this towards women, it would be everywhere. Everyone would be talking about it. Everyone would be upset, outraged, and calling this man a "sexist misogynistic pig upholding the patriarchy" Bro, nobody here knows what you're looking for. Are you worried that the ideal of male providership (as expressed by this major public figure) represents the views of a substantial fraction of society? If so that's a legitimate fear to have…
/r/ExRedPill06/09/20 10:01 PM
5

Cool story bro, and so kind of you to share your deranged fanfiction with the rest of us. If you knew anything about arranged marriage in the “uncucked 3rd world” and how it matches women with the ugliest richest dudes their families can find, you wouldn’t be writing this nonsense.
/r/ExRedPill06/09/20 09:26 PM
1

So basically, for men to be valued beyond their capabilities to provide, we have to checks notes give women access to publicly funded childcare and maternity leave?? Yes. Because otherwise, the task of financing these falls to *check notes* male providers that the women have "settled" for. If anything, the undervaluing of men comes from the absence of fathers in their children's lives. In which case you would want to appeal and defend programs like welfare where women become married to/dependent…
/r/ExRedPill06/09/20 06:12 PM
2

To start off: just letting you know I'm a straight dude myself, I was mired in RP/BP mindset a couple years ago and completely feel your pain. I feel that some of your responses assumed I came from a place of ignorance of your concern, so just wanted to clear that up. ​ Studies of dating apps (I believe the main one was tinder) found that there was a huge disparity in matches, where 95% of the women on the app(s) were matching with 5-10% of the men. Everyone loves to say "that's not real life! N…
/r/ExRedPill06/09/20 05:37 PM
3

Because the subtext in these articles is a trad relationship where at best, the woman disproportionately shoulders the burden of childcare and household work (to the exclusion of any life aspirations), and at worst, is treated as a childbearing servant and sex object with no life in the public sphere. So yeah, as you've been repeatedly mentioning, the men in question do not really value women past their childbearing, youth, and beauty. Picture yourself in such a woman's shoes. If you were forced…
/r/ExRedPill06/09/20 04:46 PM
5

Absolutely. Thanks for saying this more convincingly, and in fewer words than I did up the thread. OP's anger is misdirected.
/r/ExRedPill06/09/20 04:37 PM
1

Really glad that you've been able to claw your way out of this bullshit, especially given how far you fell. I wish you the best on your recovery.
/r/ExRedPill06/09/20 07:17 AM
5

It's a good thing you've brought this up (because shit like this wasn't just concocted by Reddit losers, it's a common socially conservative viewpoint held by a substantial fraction of the population). I don't think it's helpful to just dismiss out of hand. Luckily the answer is quite simple. The US (where, presumably, most of JLo's audience is located) is an extremely unequal country, with social programs such as public housing, healthcare, and higher education limited at best. In particular, t…
/r/ExRedPill06/09/20 07:08 AM
8

I definitely agree with what you said, and apologize if what I wrote earlier came across the wrong way.
/r/ExRedPill25/08/20 10:16 PM
2

I'm not sure where you're from or how old you are, but my experience (US, 22M) disagrees with yours. Sure, body dysmorphia and perpetual self-hate does you no favors on an individual level. But refusing to acknowledge that looks/attraction matter, or there might be any problems with current dating culture, means that incels/TRP and similar reactionaries are the only ones in control of those discussions. Indeed (as seen above) people who lean in that direction may just straight-up refuse to take …
/r/ExRedPill25/08/20 09:24 PM
3

All very good points.
/r/ExRedPill23/08/20 04:21 AM
1

Looks, social ability, etc. definitely expand your pool of potential partners, but writing yourself off as permanently single is irrational and a sure path to failure. Accept your limitations, but improve yourself in whatever way you can. Even after I did this (late in undergrad), I found that I ended up ignoring/eschewing a lot of female attention because I thought nothing would come of it---so falling down the rabbit hole became a self-fulfilling prophecy. I hope that's not the case for you.
/r/ExRedPill18/08/20 07:14 PM
3

As a STEM person myself, and having just graduated from college [22M], I completely feel your pain. I didn't date during college because the trauma/abuse of my teenage years (which stuck until ~21) brought about a sharply negative self-image, including the thoughts you articulate here. But by working on myself physically and socially, and interacting with a wide range of women (with or without romantic interest), I at least gained self-confidence and a more balanced perspective before I graduate…
/r/ExRedPill13/08/20 01:24 AM
2

Just sent you a DM. Just an anecdote, but I hope it helps.
/r/ExRedPill10/08/20 11:02 PM
1

Yeah I agree that racial/ethnic bias can make things more difficult, although I can't really compare US vs. Europe. Definitely take reasonable precautions, but letting it control your life (or thinking it's some original sin on the part of women) is absolutely counterproductive. I know that in college, for the sake of ~15% of women who were insecure/inexperienced and therefore biased (and for the much smaller fraction of outright shitheads), I didn't pursue the opportunities I had with the remai…
/r/ExRedPill10/08/20 09:49 PM
1

I didn't meet women online for the most part, just through my (limited) social circles. And among those I did match on Tinder, most were in my extended social circles anyway (although I'm 22, and this was all in college, so it may be a bit different for you)---and in any case, I didn't seriously pursue these opportunities for various reasons. Online dating really ate away at my self-image, and really is just a scam to get you to pay for premium, so I'd advise not going for it. Of course, this me…
/r/ExRedPill10/08/20 09:07 PM
2

Please do. I can definitely attest to having seen it.
/r/ExRedPill10/08/20 09:05 PM
2

Oh no I definitely agree with you. Those I know who view dating as some sort of race are pathetic and miserable people.
/r/ExRedPill10/08/20 08:58 PM
2

Nothing wrong with pursuing casual dating with those you find attractive. But in my experience, those who use it for some sort of ego boost (by advertising the amount of attention they get, or the attractiveness of those giving the attention) are miserable creatures, and sometimes outright losers. The roommate who hooked up with other girls whenever he and his gf got into an argument. The girl who was seeing my friend for a bit because he was the "only tall guy" in their club, not out of her own…
/r/ExRedPill10/08/20 08:53 PM
2

Thanks for posting this. I tried responding to him in good faith and meeting him where he was at, but sadly he seems rather invested in a really stupid competition with "chads" and "Staceys" on Reddit where nobody's keeping score anyway.
/r/ExRedPill10/08/20 08:18 PM
2

Then why are there countless stories of subreddits where women admit to their crazy college hook ups? You think they will tell the truth on studys or on reddit where they are anonymous. Of course there's some bias (I did mention men overstate number of partners and women understate, although mathematically the number should be the same) but for precisely the reason you mentioned, studies (indeed, population surveys done by census organizations!) are anonymized and in the end no name is attached …
/r/ExRedPill10/08/20 06:39 PM
3

. Most women have a really high body count and most incels dont so this jealousy becomes rage Broadly agree with your comment, but just wanted to point out that this common incel talking point has no basis in reality. Most people in general have only a few sexual partners (men overstate somewhat in surveys, women understate, but mathematically the average should be the same) and the distributions are fairly similar between men and women. I have my reservations about hookup culture and strongly d…
/r/ExRedPill10/08/20 04:52 PM
1

I'm ex-TRP and don't endorse this "alpha strategy" stuff, but you do raise an important stumbling block that I (and many people) have on their journeys out of the redpill. How come women say incels dont get any dates because of their personality I never liked this mainstream framing of the question---it seems to encourage a transactional, entitled niceguy view to relationships ("just check this 'personality' box and women will like you") which eventually circles back to TRP behavior anyway. The …
/r/ExRedPill10/08/20 06:32 AM
1

Thanks for contributing your thoughts! Personally, I've never experienced the problem that being "respectful and courteous" was misconstrued as "weakness or low confidence." Of course, don't be a pushover, or overinterpret every small interaction, or try to do things for the girl expecting a relationship in return---but also don't "try harder" if someone doesn't seem interested. One girl I'm pretty sure was into me but I wasn't sure because she wasn't approaching me and I didn't want to approach…
/r/ExRedPill09/08/20 06:51 PM
3

Agreed. The world is far from a perfect place, and whatever “point” anon may have, it does you no good (and prevents you from finding compatible partners) to be an embittered and shitty human being.
/r/ExRedPill08/08/20 05:26 AM
1

Thanks for your response and I'm glad to hear that. My main worry was that college represented a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to meet a wide variety of people organically, and that future relationship opportunities (through the workplace, or online) would lead me to find incompatible partners for the wrong reasons. I guess the problem is moreso in my lack of imagination and excessively pessimistic view about social interaction as an adult.
/r/ExRedPill08/08/20 01:34 AM
2

Yeah, you're right. I was just wondering whether I really did "miss out" on any memorable experiences/lessons learned that are harder to recreate in later life, or if it truly doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.
/r/ExRedPill07/08/20 11:22 PM
2

I wrote what I did based on my real-life experiences being taken as a threat, the social consequences I've faced (lasting months to years), and subsequent discussion with women mentors. But you're right, the nature of the Internet (even if you avoid outright incel/redpill/PPD shit) makes it easy to be perpetually outraged over every incident. Too often, I've straight-up presumed that women are out to get me unless otherwise proven, and that lack of reciprocal romantic interest means I was seen a…
/r/ExRedPill07/08/20 06:45 PM
5

Thanks for the helpful words! I read through some of your other comments and, in addition to what I mentioned already, can definitely appreciate some of the insecurities that come with not living up to socially accepted beauty standards. It is what it is, and if you're past the point of diminishing returns as you mention, just focus on other things. In terms of mental state, one thing that helped me around both race issues/looks insecurity is to avoid attaching moral judgments to them (admittedl…
/r/ExRedPill07/08/20 08:21 AM
5

If you were going through trauma and abuse, it's a good thing you didn't pursue dating at the time. It's a good thing that you decided to work on improving your social skills during the last school year. The most important thing is to make connections with people and meet new people. College is just one of a number of places where this is done relatively easily. Next you'll be in the workforce. Maybe you don't want to date a co-worker. (Which is a good idea not to do so anyway.) But meeting peop…
/r/ExRedPill07/08/20 07:28 AM
17

Thanks for posting this and I’m glad to know I’m not the only one worried about backsliding. What’s come creeping back for me (similar to your notion of “hot guy on the street”)—based on some unfortunate undergrad interactions— is the notion that white men can express romantic interest clearly without social repercussions (and sometimes get off easy for being outright jerks), whereas even polite interest from men of color is more likely to be judged as a threat. I’ve often found myself taking ra…
/r/ExRedPill07/08/20 02:57 AM
6

If being overweight bothers you, then definitely work out, improve your diet, etc. But do so to become more confident/comfortable in your own skin, rather than gaining validation through the resulting social capital among friends/male attention. It’s a subtle distinction and easier said than done, and truthfully it takes a while to move to a healthier mindset, but I wish you the best of luck.
/r/ExRedPill22/07/20 11:40 PM
1

I think the real concern here isn't "n-count" as such, but rather whether a potential partner has pursued relationships not for their own sake, but for attention/validation by others. Like you, I want no part of hookup culture, but wouldn't hold past involvement against a girl who treated me seriously and with respect.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/20 07:25 AM
1

It seems to that an average woman would rather be the fifth wife of Brad Pitt that the sole wife of Joe Nobody. The thing is, both "Brad Pitt" and "Joe Nobody" exist in a social and cultural context. Brad Pitt has access to the best personal chefs, trainers, and makeup artists, whereas Joe Nobody lacks the time and money for exercise and high-quality food, so ends up being 5'9" and 190 lbs. Brad Pitt makes millions; Joe Nobody can't even cover an emergency expense, making it financially difficul…
/r/ExRedPill17/06/20 08:57 PM
5

It's the MGTOW sub; they say that "women" seek validation through sexualization by attractive men, while negatively judging romantic interest by those who are less appealing. I've had experiences on the receiving end, and have found that the women who do this are mostly stupid, social climbers, or just naïve and insecure---which isn't representative of the majority, but certainly most of the women who are willing to put up with MGTOW fall into these categories.
/r/ExRedPill17/06/20 06:55 PM
3

I feel your pain man; your online interactions seem to reflect some real-world experiences (being seen as a "creep" due to panic attacks/stunted social skills, being sexually harassed and many people not caring) that helped drive me to the redpill before I woke up again and came here. Mainstream, corporatized liberal identity politics panders to "women and minorities" the same way mainstream, corporatized identitarian conservatism panders to (white) men: it provides moral justification for the i…
/r/ExRedPill17/06/20 06:38 PM
2

Damn, thanks for mentioning that. I’m also a reasonably fit dude (nothing close to an 8-pack though lmao) and slightly on the short side (making me very short according to popular culture); I work in the sciences, so like you I guess I’m a “nerd but not a loser.” Decent jawline, but as I’ve found out that doesn’t mean much so don’t put too much weight on it. And I agree with you “normies” and liberal feminists make dating seem far simpler than it really is. I’ve also suffered from abysmal social…
/r/ExRedPill17/06/20 04:23 PM
2

Throughout history, it was normal for powerful and Rich men to have multiple partners and still is, while normal guys have to resort to lying and pick up artistry to have the same results.i But this isn't "biology", rather just its interaction with prevailing social structures (monarchy/feudalism/capitalism). Under these systems, everything men create is easily appropriated, bought, and sold by the king/lord/boss/whoever; producing/nursing children takes a long time, so isn't as easily commodifi…
/r/ExRedPill17/06/20 09:00 AM
1

Partially agree with you; I think it's a good idea for men to have high standards (and I personally do). At the same time I think everyone, men and women, ought to be a bit generous in practice and go by the spirit of what standards are aimed at (attractive, engaging, caring and compatible partner) rather than by the letter ("must be 6 feet tall to ride" type shit). And yeah, we definitely ought to work on ourselves. The median American man 18-24 is 174 lbs, while the median woman is 147 lbs, so…
/r/ExRedPill17/06/20 08:07 AM
3

What got it into your head that every male-female friendship involved this, and couldn't be, well, a friendship? Don't get me wrong, what you describe is all too common for underconfident, pushover men (who often adopt TRP when they whiplash to the other extreme)---but inherently, there's nothing wrong with being friends with women, and personally I've lost out on a much richer social life (and yes, even some things that could've developed into relationships) for fear of being painted as a "beta…
/r/ExRedPill15/06/20 09:04 PM
1

If you're a reasonably fit young man (biologically attainable for almost everyone, although there are definitely social barriers to good diet/exercise) you should definitely be able to do better than 3 in 1000. And certainly, much better if you've got something in common with your target audience. On the other hand, if someone turns you down for lack of physical attraction, it's shitty (or at least immature) to make it about the other person's "personality" just so they appear less "superficial.…
/r/ExRedPill09/06/20 01:37 AM
4

Looks absolutely matter, and it's a shame that for the sake of appearing holier-than-thou, a lot of mainstream society (at least on Reddit, and liberal circles more generally) are somewhat reluctant to acknowledge this openly. This, as you rightly point out, makes redpill/blackpill the "custodians" of this "hidden truth," especially for young, socially inexperienced men. With that said, the picture isn't as bleak (or black-and-white) as incels portray it. For instance, they note that a few men r…
/r/ExRedPill08/06/20 09:00 AM
6

Agreed, I’m not absolving the women here at all. I’m just opposed to the cultural trope that men are all simple-minded automatons easily controlled by women—which drives a victimhood mentality among TRP/incels, and an exploitation mentality among FDS types. Men and women both ought to be accountable for their actions.
/r/ExRedPill08/06/20 12:35 AM
3

Simple solution for those guys, don’t sleep with your female subordinates so you don’t create a blatant conflict of interest and expectation of some sort of reciprocation. It always takes two hands to clap. There’s no obligation on men to indulge and encourage shitty behavior by women.
/r/ExRedPill08/06/20 12:16 AM
4

Women can get ahead in life by means of their sex appeal and they know this. What's this then? You seem rather indignant about it. I'm completely with you on it being a shitty behavior, but I think TRP only encourages and validates it, much like the "simps" they so despise. At least in your personal life, giving power to someone based on their sex appeal is entirely in your hands.
/r/ExRedPill08/06/20 12:09 AM
1

I had a shitty friend group like that, pretty much typical Reddit incels, who frequently maligned my appearance and social ability (not surprisingly, these were nonexistent for them) as a "joke"---and only when they sexually harassed me did I finally leave. I hope, for your sake, that nothing quite as bad has happened yet, but definitely cut off these shitheads. I know it will take a lot of courage, and leave you socially isolated for a time, but your life and sense of self-worth will improve ma…
/r/ExRedPill08/06/20 12:03 AM
3

It's definitely true that looks (both as a man or a woman) can buy you a somewhat smoother path through life. But as much as they rail against this, TRPers' pursuit of "N-count" and "alpha chaddery" incentivizes, validates, and attracts women who engage in shitty behaviors. Ironically, the pushover "simps" and "betas" that TRPers so despise do the same---hardly surprising, because TRP/MGTOW are just pushovers who wanted a shortcut to real strength. Beyond basic human dignity, you don't owe women…
/r/ExRedPill07/06/20 11:55 PM
1

If you're a pushover "niceguy" who will do or say anything for crumbs of validation, you're going to draw exploitative and manipulative people to your life whether as friends, bosses, or romantic partners. Before I grew a spine, the experience you describe was similar to mine (albeit with male friends, not women). Know this---you owe everyone basic human dignity and courtesy. But you're under no obligation to abase yourself before someone else, no matter how attractive, wealthy, popular, smart, …
/r/ExRedPill07/06/20 05:54 PM
1

I'm the same age as you, and over the years I've learned that you have a great deal of control over the sorts of people you attract. If you're a pushover, you'll attract shitty people who want to use and exploit you, including women who will string you along and manipulate you---I personally used to be like this. Only much later did I learn (and I'm still learning!) to grow a spine, judge people's character better, and set proper boundaries---it's a shame that I (like you) ended up passing throu…
/r/ExRedPill07/06/20 05:34 PM
3

It's a shame that happened to them. If your friends are anything like you (or I in the past, for that matter), they probably don't have great social ability and are poor judges of character, and so tend to draw attention-seeking, shallow, insecure, manipulative women. I already gave you some rules of thumb on judging character in response to your "gold digger" post---it applies equally well to women (really, people) with whom you seek friendships as well. For your part, if someone isn't romantic…
/r/ExRedPill04/06/20 10:08 PM
1

Everyone knows that some women will be more attracted to you if you're one of the cool kids or the rich kids---but you obtained a black-and-white picture from TRP, while others obtained a more nuanced picture (most people through real-life experience, others like me had to be first helped through subreddits like this). There are plenty of other way to find a woman who wants you for you---not status or wealth---and I listed a few of them. You've got a lot more latitude for improving those than yo…
/r/ExRedPill04/06/20 07:51 PM
10

If someone wants to "be your friend" and treats you solely as an emotional toxic waste dump/source of attention, then you know right off the bat they're shitty people. If they want to bond over common interests/values, but you just aren't the type physically/don't lead a similar enough lifestyle, then what's the loss in being friends? It really sounds like you seek out and attract the wrong kind of person with your attitude.
/r/ExRedPill04/06/20 07:40 PM
2

Don't want to date a gold digger? Try finding women through common interests/hobbies, life goals, and values. See if they're genuinely kind and friendly to less attractive men, in whom they lack romantic interest; more broadly, see how they treat those they have power over (service workers, professional subordinates, etc.) Make yourself desirable for reasons other than money---work out, develop social skills, build intellectual depth, learn to understand emotions. And---while I don't believe any…
/r/ExRedPill04/06/20 08:17 AM
1

Well besides the stuff you mentioned which are not exclusively red-pill ideas (hit the gym/lose weight, gain social skills, find work/hobby/purpose.) Some of the toxic stuff that the Red Pill says concerning men and women are true when it comes to insecure people with low self esteem or people who don't really know how to think for themselves so they follow whatever the crowd is doing. My own journey and realization from low self esteem has given me an ability to sense insecurity in others, even…
/r/ExRedPill03/06/20 07:18 AM
7

Glad to hear that you've started to recover from this mindset and I hope your progress continues. Redpill is so addictive and toxic precisely because at the surface level, a lot of it sounds very reasonable: hit the gym/lose weight, gain social skills, find work/hobby/purpose. But the narratives about women (and men) that underly it are toxic, and make your purpose and self-worth as a man entirely dependent on the number of women deceived and manipulated. You mention you're "purple-pilled"---so …
/r/ExRedPill02/06/20 07:40 AM
3

I didn't know where you were coming from in your post (in part because I mistakenly assumed you were a man), so I probably reacted a bit too harshly to your post. I'm sorry to hear that that was your online-dating experience, and agree that it's better to meet organically. For what it's worth, I personally (as a man, decently fit/attractive but nothing too special) have never wanted "just sex" with someone I didn't find at least reasonably attractive (not that I want a hookup in the first place)…
/r/ExRedPill01/06/20 12:08 AM
1

Men and women just have different standards. A mans standards to have sex with a woman are; does she not smell like rancid garbage and is she breathing. I think even those are somewhat negotiable at times, to some men. So sure, your ex is able to sleep with practically anyone she wants, if that’s all she wants from them. This isn't about "men and women" so much as the online-dating business model. In free versions of apps, you aren't shown all your likes (encouraging you to swipe on everything i…
/r/ExRedPill31/05/20 11:13 PM
2

Disagree; being edgy/flirtatious for the purpose of projecting false confidence works for a time (and that too, on relatively less experienced girls), but the more you interact with the person, the more likely the mask is to fall off. This is the reason that TRP prefers virgins/younger women and hookups---any other situation and they'd fall flat on their faces. I'm glad I learned this lesson early on, when I once collapsed under the weight of my own bullshit in front of a girl who otherwise was …
/r/ExRedPill31/05/20 10:24 PM
2

Exactly I have that type of confidence I know my self-worth yet I keep encountering women who somehow want me to be edgy It's one thing to know logically you're worth something, another thing to internalize it. From what you post, it still seems like you're hurt by your ex and you invest far too much emotional energy in what women think about you. There's nothing wrong with being edgy and flirtatious. It's a skill that can be learned and improved just like cooking, painting, or soccer. It may ma…
/r/ExRedPill31/05/20 10:10 PM
5

I think you're conflating "confidence" in the sense of "being flirtatious and a bit edgy"---which is a skill that can be learned in time---with "confidence" in the sense of inherent dignity, self-worth, and purpose in life. Only once you develop the latter can you embark on any sort of relationship (personal, romantic, professional) on equal terms.
/r/ExRedPill31/05/20 09:41 PM
3

Stay strong buddy. Hookup culture and online dating may make it easier for your ex to get sex than you can, but that absolutely shouldn't define your self-worth. Take this time to show some self-compassion and develop confidence, and when you do re-enter the dating market don't let others push you around. The way you discuss your ex, it sounds like she's defined by her ability to "f*** 10 plus dudes". Now is your chance to not be defined by your ex.
/r/ExRedPill31/05/20 09:19 PM
2

Don't disagree, but also don't think that a literal social construct proves something about the "true biological nature of women." For what it's worth, if you're a man in the US or some even more backward country, another social construct (having a lot of money) can also bring you female attention and likewise cause you to "overrate your own attractiveness."
/r/ExRedPill31/05/20 05:05 AM
6

Tinder's whole business model is to hide likes and encourage men to swipe right on everyone, thus giving women so many matches that they can't possibly respond to everyone. What's more, you're quickly thrown to the bottom of the pile so girls won't even see you before they have enough matches. The only way around these limitations is to pay (and keep paying) for premium. Not at all reminiscent of real life.
/r/ExRedPill31/05/20 04:49 AM
1

To the extent that biology is relevant, the way it manifests itself is heavily dependent on culture and society. For instance a TRPer may find it "natural" that a woman "stays home after having kids" while relying on a provider husband, but this only happens with (1) high fertility rates, (2) nuclear families and single-family suburban homes (so neighbors, friends, and family cannot provide childcare), (3) reduced educational and career opportunities for women, and (4) middle-class levels of wea…
/r/ExRedPill28/05/20 10:41 PM
1

no its not the root. female nature is the root. female nature brought the fall of humanity much before red pill or capitalism was a thing. you liberal nihilist materialists are asleep af. and i pity you for it. More opinions. And I'm a socialist lmao, not a "liberal" who dresses up the same old vices of traditional society in "woke" clothing, and thinks they're "empowering". as for women being handled by rich men, yeah they do it now too. by willingly being sugarbabes and onlyfans camthots. and …
/r/ExRedPill25/05/20 08:33 PM
1

What do you mean that "society went down the drain after... ta dah... 1920"? That's an utterly vacuous statement by itself. Do you mean that increasing involvement of women in the public sphere started to diminish the appeal of traditional conservatism? If so, I don't see why that's a problem. TRP supports traditional conservatism/capitalism and hate women, without realizing these are at the root of all the problems they identify. In such a society without human rights or dignity, humans are not…
/r/ExRedPill25/05/20 05:36 PM
3

These are definitely interesting points to address: they embody truths, half-truths or "common sense" to entice people to TRP/TBP, followed by a flawed and hateful, or at least incomplete narrative. With that being said, most incels/TRPers only know of these from the Internet or other people, rather than direct personal experience (and I say this in the most sympathetic way possible, as I'm no paragon of social aptitude), so their views on the issue lack balance and perspective. As others freque…
/r/ExRedPill25/05/20 02:08 AM
8

I've always been a socialist economically, but back in my red/blackpilled days I'd often buy the right-wing narrative on social issues such as affirmative action, sexual harassment accusations, gender wage gap, and immigration. I've realized, since then, that I was just a knight in shining armor, with no experience of the real world, trying to "own the libs". Interacting with others (particularly women) and appreciating their struggles, and dealing with some of the BS the right-wing told me to b…
/r/ExRedPill24/05/20 10:07 PM
4

It's unfortunate that you, like me, had to deal with blackpilled bullshit ideologies from such a young age. And I totally feel your lingering pain---as you go through life, you'll meet a number of really shitty people who will exploit you, mock you, and judge you on your looks, race, money, intellect, etc. rather than the content of your character. But you don't want this to consume your life, nor interfere in your forming meaningful relationships with the large number of kind and empathetic peo…
/r/ExRedPill23/05/20 08:55 PM
7

Most sex "differences" are in rather complex behaviors, and are driven primarily by social, economics and cultural factors rather than some biological trigger. For instance, the fact that women tend to have lower-paying jobs is largely because those fields (retail, healthcare, administrative sector) were hiring as women entered the workforce, as higher-paid manufacturing jobs (predominantly held by men) moved offshore. Force of tradition, inertia, and lack of critical mass have caused this to co…
/r/ExRedPill20/05/20 10:06 PM
11

It's more like, most of the jobs created when women were entering the workforce (1970s-2000s) are low-paying, casualized service positions, so women disproportionately tend to have pay incommensurate with most people's goals of education, hobbies, starting a family, etc. Before then they often didn't hold jobs at all. One way (unfortunate for all involved) to achieve these goals is to find a partner who makes a reasonable salary, and compromise on any genuine attraction. While it's certainly a g…
/r/ExRedPill18/05/20 10:46 PM
2

Good to hear that you're turning the corner: despite being "unconventional" in some ways (below 6ft, nonwhite) I've had a chances for relationships but let all of them slip due to self-doubts of the type you describe. In a way it's for the better because it forced me to develop real, internal confidence in myself.
/r/ExRedPill18/05/20 10:38 PM
2

I agree with you on that; OP definitely said as much. But I don't think it's a good idea to spend too much time contemplating the issue because it eats away at your self-worth. "Women" are not a monolith: some may be genuinely attracted to you, others may only want you for resources/status by association, but if you have no sense of self-worth you inevitably throw the good out with the bad and end up lonely and miserable. It's certainly a mistake I've made many times.
/r/ExRedPill18/05/20 08:59 PM
5

It really is a shame that in American society, money talks. You mentioned in the past you work in retail---if you're living paycheck-to-paycheck, with consumer debt, rent, and perhaps student loans, finding a partner who makes a bunch of money becomes an appealing prospect irrespective of any actual attraction. You're an artist---if at all possible you should try to find a romantic partner through that community, where hopefully money is less of an issue. I'm really sorry if this comes across as…
/r/ExRedPill18/05/20 08:54 PM
1

It's one thing to work out, develop a sense of style, learn how to talk to people, etc. to become more attractive. It's another thing to equate your desirability as a sexual/romantic partner (or other people's perceptions thereof) to your self-worth. If my experience is any guide OP's problem seems to be the latter.
/r/ExRedPill18/05/20 08:31 PM
3

TRP/TBP ideologies also left me with a host of body-image issues, some of which persist today. If you're anything like me, what hurt more was not romantic rejection, but the perception that I somehow lacked a right to human dignity and courtesy because of the way I looked. You can minimize this by filling your social circles with those who value you---if you want to become more physically attractive then certainly do so, but don't do it from a place of pain (and there's no need to get a hair tra…
/r/ExRedPill18/05/20 08:27 PM
10

Beautifully articulated, certainly took a lot of effort to write that. I wish I had gold to give you.
/r/ExRedPill16/05/20 06:11 AM
13

Agree 100%. Only when I got into shape, improved my social skills and saw more female attention (including from girls who, while perfectly nice people, I just wasn't into), did I once and for all come unstuck from ideologies of hypocritical self-pity. While it's good to be open-minded, everyone wants a partner who appeals to them in some way whether by looks, intelligence, etc. The only issue I take with what you've written is that you've given up on finding a partner before even starting underg…
/r/ExRedPill10/05/20 01:25 AM
1

I’m the first to accept that looks matter, and I think people being misled about this (and suddenly finding it out) drives them to shitty redpill/blackpill ideologies. What I’m trying to say is that this stuff isn’t graded on a curve with a fixed percentage of A, B, C, D, F. Very few of us are Hollywood material, but most people have the potential to be physically attractive to a fairly large swathe of the opposite sex through diet, exercise and fashion—you can see this at any university gym. An…
/r/ExRedPill06/05/20 07:16 PM
1

I think I wasn’t quite clear. The issue is the very fact that you try to rank your looks against others. Of course it’s difficult to stop entirely, but to be mired in this mindset leads to the misconception that only a model level dude can attract women. Just develop those characteristics (aesthetic or otherwise) that will make you more appealing to those you find attractive, and don’t make it a competition. Nobody is keeping score.
/r/ExRedPill06/05/20 06:07 PM
0

I agree with what others have written below that attraction consists of much more than just looks. That said, looks themselves are a lot more malleable than you might think with diet, exercise and fashion. Also you're just starting college---there's plenty of time for you to grow into your features. One issue I take with your post is you describing your looks as "average." It's wrong to view dating as some sort of a competition. Rather than measuring yourself against other people, just try to de…
/r/ExRedPill05/05/20 01:56 AM
1

I've had the displeasure of having incels such as you describe (and worse) as "friends" IRL; barring some epiphany on their part, I think they're pretty much irredeemable. Socializing with them did severe damage to my ability to interact and relate with normal people, from which I've only now begun to recover. With that said, I think for everyone like that there are dozens at-risk who can be helped before falling into the incel abyss. By way of example: I was raised in a traditional-conservative…
/r/ExRedPill04/05/20 08:56 AM
1

Being rejected, and feeling "foolish and embarrassed" for not "seeing the warning signs" are part and parcel of approaching anyone with romantic interest. And certainly, as a man I've been in many situations where I failed to approach for various reasons (typically, fear of coming off too strongly). The problems you mention aren't specific to women and there's no reason men alone should carry the burden of approach. In fact, I'd even go so far as to say that social expectations for men to approa…
/r/ExRedPill01/05/20 10:28 PM
6

You can bond with women as friends over common interests and senses of humor, same as you would with men. If you're romantically interested in addition, just make it known (politely) sooner rather than later; if they decline but still want to be friends, that should settle the "purposely led on" issue. Present (in the best possible light) an authentic version of yourself; don't insult a girl's intelligence and your dignity by pretending to be a lowest-common-denominator "niceguy". I've seen that…
/r/ExRedPill01/05/20 07:57 AM
5

Redpill/blackpill ideologies ensnare people with a surface layer of simple truths and half-truths. As a 5'8" Indian-origin man in the US, who entered college with no social ability, I can personally attest to many of these---being seen as "creepy" or an "arrogant STEM male" when in actuality I just had poor social skills, very few people giving a damn when I was sexually harassed. The list goes on. As a simple and compelling (but false and hateful) explanation for these observations, TRP/TBP pro…
/r/ExRedPill30/04/20 07:39 PM
5

Ignore him, he's just a troll trying to "own the libs". Why he's doing that here I don't know. I think most people in this subreddit are well aware that if someone isn't attracted to you on account of your looks, intellect, charm, etc. , making a big show of being a niceguy does nothing to help your case, and you are much better served keeping your dignity and moving on.
/r/ExRedPill28/04/20 06:49 AM
2

Yeah, ignore it. Too many (even in this thread) seem to equate it with "looks, confidence/charm, intelligence, and social standing matter", but that's common knowledge. The "alpha males" I've known generally try to fake these things, and end up pressuring women who fo some reason (credulity, emotional damage, social repercussions) can't or won't stand up for themselves. With that being said, don't be a "niceguy/friendzoner" who does things and expects something in return---if the attraction is o…
/r/ExRedPill27/04/20 08:56 PM
1

Can you say what you meant by the unfortunate choice of words? Were you given a chance to explain yourself? One case: very early on, I once asked a girl that I had known only a couple days and took a vague interest in, if she wanted to "grab dinner sometime;" only when she hesitated in her "yes" did I realize she took it as a date request. Ultimately it went nowhere, because I managed to say even stupider shit and make a bigger fool of myself. When I asked around, I was told that "dinner" is ind…
/r/ExRedPill25/04/20 07:08 PM
1

I think the bait is that looks, social standing, and charm/confidence are important in dating: these are really just common sense and are a lot more malleable than most people think, but the older you learn this the greater the visceral shock, and the more likely you are to think these are immutable. From there TRPers are fed grossly-exaggerated "truths" attributed to the biological "nature of women", which to the extent they hold at all, really have a social/cultural cause: "beta bucks" provide…
/r/ExRedPill25/04/20 06:42 AM
2

Not on the spectrum, but I was bullied for most of my life and thus had poor social intuition and nonexistent self-esteem. Though I never really bought into TRP ideas and didn't try to manipulate anyone, I certainly remember at one point thinking that bullshitting out of my ass and faking confidence made me more attractive and masculine. At age 21, avoiding social faux pas and responding appropriately to cues is a painful process of trial and error---doubly so due to the judgment that error attr…
/r/ExRedPill25/04/20 06:03 AM
8

TRP collapses under the weight of its internal contradictions and biological essentialism. For instance, men getting into relationships for their ability to provide, rather than any genuine attraction---"beta bucks" as TRP would have it---is a feature of patriarchal setups where women were unable to support themselves (or indeed exercise any real choice in choosing a partner or a life). The solution to this problem is allowing women education, careers, and agency, but TRPers seem to vehemently o…
/r/ExRedPill24/04/20 08:46 AM
2

I'm not trying to manipulate anyone and I'm perfectly capable of taking "no" for an answer. I want a meaningful and equal relationship, not to corner someone into doing something they don't want. But due to a lot of bullying/harassment in my past, I ended up socially clueless around normal people. I fear that in subtle ways I'm not consciously aware of, I give off the wrong impression; there's been improvement but there's still work to be done to smooth the rough edges, and I was looking for adv…
/r/ExRedPill24/04/20 03:00 AM
6

I looked through your post history and you seem like an eminently reasonable person, with a similar religious upbringing (ie, Muslim in your case vs. Hindu in mine) and similar (strongly left-wing) final political leaning. If that's the case, I think the observation that "[at] 30 women look like shit" is because in conservative Eastern societies, women typically fall out of shape after having children due to poor diet and lack of exercise, and due to natural decline in metabolic rate with age. O…
/r/ExRedPill22/04/20 09:04 PM
5

Well you dodged the question. I'm not sure to make of you: you whine in one thread about girls not wanting to "love or even like" you, while in this one you claim you are a "slut" who would sleep with a different girl every night given the choice. You say elsewhere you're a virgin but say here you've been with a few girls (I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that means dates). You complain about not wanting to be a "SIMP", but break your heart over Tinder matches who either just wa…
/r/ExRedPill18/04/20 08:58 PM
1

I partially (mostly!) agree with what you say. Anyone who socially excludes you, or doesn't want to be friends, based on your looks is at best an insecure social climber and at worse a fucking jerk. Same with someone who strings you along and takes advantage of your kindness for attention or to get something done. For a relationship, however, I think physical attraction is an important component for most people (one of several, alongside intellectual interests, etc.). I've turned girls down beca…
/r/ExRedPill18/04/20 08:53 AM
4

Tinder seems to be a disaster for your self-esteem—it certainly was for mine, and that’s honestly the basis for their whole business model. I’ve never met any man with “hundreds of matches”—do you swipe right on everyone? Do you pay for premium? Did you get photos professionally taken? If so you’re only amplifying your insecurity. It’s perfectly legitimate to want a partner you find attractive—I certainly want this for myself. There’s a tension between this and the harmful misconception, propaga…
/r/ExRedPill17/04/20 05:36 PM
2

If anyone is a "simp", it seems to be you, hopelessly in love with "party girls" who won't return your affections. If they seem like decent people with whom you share something in common, but just aren't physically attracted to you, be friends without an agenda; if they're jerks about it, just move on and don't give them attention. It really is that simple. I too have reservations about hookup culture, but as others have mentioned your overriding obsession with "sluts" and "fuckboys" is unhealth…
/r/ExRedPill17/04/20 01:43 AM
22

"...They just care about looks...." It may be a good idea to examine the extent to which you "just care about looks". At least in my case, I know that in my most "blackpilled" days I'd overlook women who even slightly departed from the "ideal". From what you describe, seems like you mostly go for stereotypical, superficial "party girls" via online dating. Looks definitely matter to everyone, but if you want girls who will also care for your sparkling personality, you should extend the same grace…
/r/ExRedPill16/04/20 08:08 AM
1

As someone whose personal and professional life have suffered tremendously on account of "social mistakes" (real and imagined), let me first start by saying I feel your pain. You've mentioned in other threads that you've also been hurt by racial stereotypes, and so have I. Your mistake (and mine, in the past) is internalizing the belief that you're a worthless social fuckup. Whatever you do and however you're judged, adopting such a mental model causes you to pass up a lot of opportunities. I've…
/r/ExRedPill08/04/20 09:23 AM
7

Definitely agree with this. After working on my physical appearance and “game” I certainly got a lot more attention. But the greater battle has been demonstrating that I’m a kind and genuine person who is at peace with their flaws, rather than trying to cover up or compensate for deficiencies real or imagined. I’d rather do the hard work in this regard, rather than identify and prey on others’ insecurities. Sounds miserable all around.
/r/ExRedPill01/04/20 03:03 AM
2

I’m 21 in my senior year of college, and looking at your post history the course of your life seems quite similar to mine. After years of bullying and occupying the bottom of the social hierarchy, I too spent most of my undergraduate years “improving myself” socially, academically, and in terms of physique. I totally get your point about how “low-value” men are viewed by the neoliberal so-called “social left”—few people gave a shit about the fact that I faced months of sexual harassment, and my …
/r/ExRedPill18/01/20 08:13 PM
1

I endorse this. Though I’m not on the spectrum myself, the toxic, incelly upper-middle-class male social circles I inhabited, in which I was bullied and harassed severely, meant I had no fucking clue how normal social environments worked. My first real conversations with women my age came at what, 19 or 20? I’m 21 now, with two years of major self-improvement (professional, personal, athletic), and it seems that when I’m relaxed and comfortable, women find me interesting, charming, attractive ev…
/r/ExRedPill18/01/20 06:37 AM
2

From his comment history, u/ProgressRoute appears to be a European incel who decided to larp as the stereotypical, 5 foot 3, skinny fat, street shitting Indian programmer. Which I’m not. Truth be told, I’ve definitely faced racial stereotypes of the “bobs and vagene” variety: being seen as a “weirdo” rather than someone who suffered from harassment/mental problems, social exclusion simply for striking up conversations, and the like. At first I blamed myself for poor understanding of social cues,…
/r/ExRedPill16/01/20 11:00 PM
3

I feel you man. In my case I’ve gotten substantially more female attention since I began working out, but it’s always fizzled out because I (or someone else) spoke or acted in a way that revealed my anger and lack of self-confidence. As others have said, and as your post reveals, you can never really win with TRP because you always compare yourself to others. Red leads to black, and defeatism is a major attraction killer. You worry about your face. I also have a shortcoming, literally—I’m 5’8”. …
/r/ExRedPill16/01/20 04:55 AM
1

Thanks for the supportive words!
/r/ExRedPill16/01/20 02:17 AM
3

Agreed and I’ve been through that. Whatever I do now, be it academics, research, working out, hiking, whatever, I do because I enjoy it, not because of some desire to advertise my deeds and achievements to others.
/r/ExRedPill15/01/20 10:39 PM
1

Thanks for your response! I see your point about arranged marriage, but I don’t quite agree—they’re often kept together by socioeconomic pressure by elders, and those in such societies have a tendency to sugarcoat this aspect. Whatever the case, I’m glad to hear that genuine connection takes precedence over socioeconomic concerns in a modern society like the US. My worry stems from the fact that outside intellectual circles, my most unique and exceptional qualities are irrelevant and I’m decent,…
/r/ExRedPill15/01/20 08:05 PM
3

Thanks for the words of support! From what I heard some of those who bullied me are drug addicts while others are putting a mediocre-to-poor performance in social and academic realms. They’ve always been poster children for poor diet, exercise, and hygiene. In almost every way they exemplify the creepy loser incel that they made me out to be. To me this is punishment enough and I have no interest in any further contact. I don’t relish their suffering, but knowing that I withstood their vicious a…
/r/ExRedPill15/01/20 08:33 AM
5

Thanks for the tip! My worries stemmed from the fact that I was socialized in a very toxic, all-male, upper-middle-class environment and (especially during my wannabe “alpha” phase) made more than a few social faux pas. This, combined with a major misconception (asking out a girl = social bankruptcy if you’re rejected), the fact that I didn’t know her all that well beforehand, and that I needed some help to parse from words/body language what she meant (being noncommittal as to a date is a polit…
/r/ExRedPill15/01/20 07:02 AM
3

Honestly, therapy. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to be straight. It helps with anxiety and depression, but also with intrusive thoughts and improving reactions to situations out of your control. Your initial reactions to things aren’t who you are, and until you’re able to change them, you can’t judge yourself on those. Pair that with some mindfulness, maybe download insight timer, and work on finding a feeling of calm that you can draw from. Thanks! I’ve thought about this before, but neve…
/r/ExRedPill15/01/20 06:21 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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