NB: I previously wrote about this subject in a highly convoluted post, filled with bitterness and flawed logic. It was heavily downvoted and rightly so, but writing it, rereading it, and seeing the incoherence and melodrama of my worldview helped lift a weight off my shoulders. Even so I got some good responses last time, and hopefully, this more condensed and objective version gets even more.

To recap: I started undergrad as a stereotypical nerd in a male-dominated STEM field---socially awkward, scrawny, and poorly dressed. For some (just as nerdy) women in the field, the prospect of dating these men bred severe bitterness and insecurity, and led them to react with defensiveness, unwarranted rage, or even accusations of "creepiness" at the slightest flicker of romantic interest, real or imagined. In my case, sometimes the reaction was immediate; other times, the damage was done behind my back. This led to major personal and professional setbacks for me (being forced to reapply for grad school because faculty saw me as an embarrassment), and made me exceptionally cautious in my interactions with women.

It was especially hurtful that, once exercise/clothing made me more attractive, most of these issues disappeared; if anything, the same women who happily berated other men as "creeps" badgered me in ways verging on sexual harassment. Imho, such women, who more-or-less fit the redpill mould, are best avoided even for short-term relationships.

Even today (I'm 23 and in a PhD now), my past experiences make me extremely afraid of any hesitation, pushback, or misunderstanding in my interactions with women. The first time I asked a woman on a date was age 20, and the first time I actually went on a date was age 21; I've been on a few more since then. But I've passed over many more date opportunities, and on chances to escalate physically, out of fear that this would give the wrong person leverage to ruin my good name. I would appreciate some more practical advice on how/when to know when to escalate, as well as how to spot/avoid red flags well before they become a problem.