After speaking with yet another client today about sexual consent and having to validate their fears while undoing the rhetoric of victim-shaming, I'm feeling rather bleak about this topic — yes, it's another victim-survivor of rape. Yes, it's a women; but gender aside, no one should ever experience such awful things. And no, it's not what media or films usually make it out to be.

But the only way we can have mutually respectful 'ships and healthy boundaries is to have these conversations, so here goes.

Consent must always be ENTHUSIASTIC consent, or else please back down. Having to convince someone to have sex with you is rape. Having sex with someone who's asleep is rape, even if they're your partner/spouse and you've slept with them many times before. Having intercourse with someone who's told you they do not want to have sex with you, but will cuddle to sleep; IS RAPE. When drunk, ask yourself this question: are you/they at a functional level to make life and death decisions? If that's a no, THEN NO!

Even if someone was talking to you about sexual kinks — it was just a conversation, why are you assuming it would lead to sex? If I talked to someone about what Lego models they preferred, am I going to build Lego with them?

When unsure, ask. Ask again. Ask a million times. Does it make it "unsexy", no! Consent and respect is very very very sexy✨ Men find it sexy, women find it sexy, every sexual identity on the planet finds it sexy; because this very vulnerable thing that you're about so share, is safe. And being a safe human being in this day and age, is the sexiest thing there is.

And for the hundredth time today, if they said yes and sex happens, but they change their mind halfway, please stop. Anything that involves a private body part of another human being (unless you're a doctor or similar duty in an emergency) you do not have the right to their autonomy.

Consent is actually very simple, but it gets abused. I'm sorry for people who didn't get a chance to learn it right, but you can learn now. If someone tells you it's unsexy you asked permission before kissing them, well they're making the world a lot unsafer for the rest of us.

Whether it's an ethical debate or legislation around the world, it is not okay to subject another human being (and animals) to this. I'm not even going to go into the topic of AI/LLM'S, porn, or sex dolls. In short, please give a shit about each other.