Need help, and your opinion again.

JaggedYellowPill · 2017-03-27T07:46:14+00:00

You sound like you don't trust her. To me that is a relationship red flag, but it's impossible to know from where I'm sitting if you don't trust her because she has given you reason not to trust her or because of an unfounded insecurity on your end. Edit: or both

Trust is the foundation of any quality LTR. Be trustworthy, don't stay with anyone you don't find trustworthy, and if you have trust issues that keep you from trusting others (e.g. red pill tendencies) work on those.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2017-03-27T08:10:06+00:00

She cheated (in the past, not on you as far as we know). Whenever someone cheats it is a massive red flag, unless they somehow have owned up to it (hint: she hasn't) and learned and grown. It's pretty rare that that happens, but that's how it is. It's up to you to determine whether you want to be with her or not.

If you can't trust someone to be in a relationship just as much as you are, you don't need a relationship with them.

One of the most important things in any strong relationship is trust. In my relationship of 2.5 years now, I can't think of a time where either of us ever even had the inkling of a feeling that the other was unfaithful. You can be as compatible with someone as humanly possible, but if you don't trust them or have the same values on fidelity, it will not work in the long run.

Note: TRP tendencies likely exacerbate this problem significantly, and are also more likely to land you with people who have a history of cheating, which is why TRP brings it up so much.

Edit: I did read your other posts. That relationship sounds insanely toxic, and I don't know that either of you is blameless. Seems like a poor match, especially if you want something long term.

raziphel · 2017-03-27T15:30:53+00:00

Sounds like she's had some pretty bad experiences. From the comments, it sounds like you have too. Ya'll need to work on that.

It sounds like you both need to work on some actual communication skills and emotional management. A relationship without trust is doomed to fail.

Set a standard rule. If either of you cheat, it's over. have a conversation about what constitutes cheating in advance, too. Actually addressing relationship problems with words, like mature adults, is the best way to deal with those issues before something irreparably bad happens.

RedPillDetox · 2017-03-27T19:18:09+00:00

According to studies, number 1 reason to cheat is relationship dissatisfaction, specialy in women. Number 2 reason to cheat are low levels of agreebleness (ex.: being non-friendly, competitive, vindictive or cynnic) and low levels of consciousness (ex.: having poor self-control, being lazy, failing to plan and think long term with basic things in life). This is to say that the "Once a cheater, always a cheater" doesn't hold necessarly true if she did it out of relationship dissastisfaction and not low levels of agreebleness/consciousness (which is simply a pompus way to call someone an asshole). Which one of them is your girl? the "dissatisfied cheater" or the "asshole cheater"? You're the one that can answer that question as i don't know her. But i'd say that if she's an asshole you'll eventually spot her easly in the next few months. Anyway, if you're curious, you can learn more here: http://www.lehmiller.com/blog/2015/2/13/sex-question-friday-is-there-any-truth-to-once-a-cheater-always-a-cheater.

Eitherway, i don't know what your problem is. If the relation appears to be satisfying to both and if there are many green flags there's nothing to feel worried about. Other than your red pill induced paranoia that is of "hypergamy" and "all women cheat" non-sense. See, this is what Red Pill does to relationships, creates anxiety and paranoia. I frankly wouldnt advise anyone who's into Red Pill to be in a relationship, and i'm slightly suspicious of women who fall for red pill tactics (spoiler alert: No, it's not all women who fall for red pill tactics either, forget that "AWALT" and "female nature" crap too), so my final advise would be to either chill and enjoy the relationship or break up with ther if you fail minimally at trusting.

mister_max · 2017-03-29T13:38:45+00:00

I would advise you to stop attributing good or bad to behaviors based on their action and instead try to find the motivation behind those actions to make a more educated judgment.

For example, just because she is constantly initiating sex, it does not follow that this is a green flag. If she is doing it because she finds you so attractive she can't control herself that is one thing, but if it is due to severe insecurity that is entirely different. Or if she is doing it to control you, that is again certainly not a good sign.

The first rule of relationships is always "Like attracts Like". I would ponder that and consider its implication in your relationship.

Title	Need help, and your opinion again.
Author	Primary__Account
Upvotes	2
Comments	19
Date	March 27, 2017 3:03 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/61prlh/need_help_and_your_opinion_again/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/need-help-and-your-opinion-again.300293 https://theredarchive.com/post/300293

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