Suicidal over this

difficultconcept · 2019-01-24T05:25:37+00:00

I feel your pain. I've started reading TRP when I was 22 and got badly indoctrinated and ruined my life. TRP is a cult, but nothing like cults I've been taught when I was a child - like crazy rituals where you light candles, cut yourself and stuff like that.

Even thought TRP increased my confidence I became a sociopath and a predator.

Paranoid_PeoPLE · 2019-01-24T12:07:54+00:00

Yeh if all this stuff about girls liking the bad boy is true then I guess I’m going to be single for a long time because I’d rather be single and alone than be something I’m not.

Mentathiel · 2019-01-24T13:22:30+00:00

Why does it bother you so much to 'prove them right?' People are multi-faceted beings, and people who abused you do have some good or productive traits. They simply do. Nothing is black and white. Their advice might have been useful, that doesn't make their entire personality and way of life good. You don't have to be a bully or violent to be strong and assertive, you don't have to make fun of others to improve your appearance, you don't have to joke at other's expenses to be funny. You don't have to be like them to get what you want. Take what's useful, and discard the rest. Prove them right about those small things, but then show them everywhere they were wrong through example. Show them that you can be successful without stomping to their level.

Whichever the case, I doubt I can say anything to help you, but I can see that you're hurting a lot. It's really sad to know that you would've killed yourself if it wasn't for your family. I can't imagine what it must be like to struggle so much to be brought to that point, but I'm glad you at least have that love for them that keeps you going. It's good that you're going to therapy too, but I think that if you don't face the things you're afraid of, such as the fact that the pain you're feeling can be avoided, you can't get better. I get how frustrating it is to know that you have suffered and maybe if things were different you didn't have to, and it must be infuriating to even consider that it might be your own fault (it isn't entirely, though partially it must be), and that the people who systematically destroyed your confidence through being downright evil had some things more right than you did. But, well, that's a giant monster lurking in your psyche, and there's a pit at the other end. So choose your poison. I think your organism and mind have been giving you enough of a hint at what they think about what you're doing right now. Perhaps it's a bit of a cruel and twisted hint, but I think you've been punished far more than enough by your own body and mind for everything you might have done.

And one little point. Nothing shameful about erectile dysfunction. Every man doesn't quite feel like it all the time, you might be tired or might have had a bit more to drink, or you may be anxious and nervous, even although you're aroused. Sometimes it's a one-off, and some struggle with it chronically. My SO and most men I know have had at least one moment that has happened, and I do have friends who have more consistent problems. Some even had it only in one relationship, and then never again with a different woman! The male organ is very fragile and responsive to your emotional state, and just google the statistics, you're not alone on that one. The problem is, many women don't know how to deal with it well because it's an awkward situation. Some are anxious themselves and worry that it's their fault and that they aren't doing something right, and some are just bitches who'll make fun of you and put you down. And even when they try to be helpful, it can come off as pressuring or shaming you because the situation is awkward as it is. Point is, there's a lot of stigma around this issue when it really shouldn't be. Men are afraid of being judged so they don't talk amongst themselves as freely, but open-minded women will be aware of exactly how prevalent and devastating this is to many. Perhaps it's difficult to think about that right now, but a nice loving girlfriend will help you relax and won't think less of you for it, and if the problem persists you can look into getting it medicated.

USSRMCDSCC · 2019-01-24T15:07:15+00:00

Sorry I am not quite following why you feel like you want to kill yourself. Is it because your erectile dysfunction makes you feel like less of a man? Sex is not what makes a man a man - it is the values that you follow - example: being a protector of woman and children, being honest with yourself and others, etc.

It is OK to admit you are not perfect and have room for improvement - no one is perfect - admitting that you can improve in areas is actually a sign of a mature confident man IMO.

TempleOfIron · 2019-01-24T21:44:57+00:00

That's because the red pill is still focused on pedestalising women. You need to find your outlet and focus on building yourself up. Life is much more than your biological imperative. Why waste your life just for the admiration and approval of women? The Red Pill doesn't fix that thus that's why there's still that hole there. Sometimes you just need to step away from the bullshit and focus on your hobbies and enjoying yourself. When you can enjoy being single and not so attached to women, you'll be stronger for it when you do find a relationship

cagedtiger999 · 2019-01-24T20:13:46+00:00

I have to disagree with your therapist, being yourself isn't going to help. It's a lazy and clichéd expression without any advice on implementation.

I would say try be content with who you are. You aren't the strongest, smartest, best looking or the tallest. But that is OK! You are you and completely unique. There isn't another you in the whole universe, which is infinitely big. Know yourself, know what you enjoy, know your hobbies, know your good friends from your bad friends and be content with your freedom to improve certain things in your life if you want to. Once you can feel this way, your confidence will become more natural and you will be somebody you love. Then others will find it easy to love you too. Take up meditation it will help.

EDF is your minds way of saying you weren't ready for sex. Sex is not just a physical act but a spiritual one too, one where you should feel a connection to the other person. Don't make sex your goal, because even if you get it, it won't make you happy on its own.

Title	Suicidal over this
Author	defo18
Upvotes	6
Comments	13
Date	January 24, 2019 5:13 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/aj93mj/suicidal_over_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/suicidal-over-this.299887 https://theredarchive.com/post/299887

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