Quote from book "Others concepts of us are revealed by the limits of the intelligibility of our anger. Anger can be an instrument of cartography. By determining where, with whom, about what, and under what circumstances one can get angry and get 'uptake' (taken seriously), one can map others concepts of who and what one is". This discussion was profound to me and made me see a lot of past interactions with partners in a framework that made a lot of sense to me. I have posted this discussion of a book by Marilyn Frye and womens anger. And how women can use how their anger is met and where it is acceptable, to vet how a person perceives her. She can use it as a framework of how the people around her , view her role as a woman. When I thought back to my marriage and how so much of my anger was met with abuse and yet he would TRY to make me angry in the kitchen and thought it was funny to try and anger me while I was busy cooking dinner - which denoted he was comfortable with me having domain in that area and my anger was allowed there. The kitchen is a womans domain. She is allowed to be angry about a souffle. I would love your comments and experiences.

Edited to add quote.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0vUC5tOr7A&t=2634s