Hi lovely ladies!

I’ve read your advice for quite a few months now. You’ve been invaluable in figuring out a lot of the men I encounter. There is 1 guy who I’m not sure about, and I would love your feedback on him.

So, here’s the deets:

He (26M) invited me (22F) to a 2-week-long backpacking trip happening in a few months. I am really into sports, but haven’t done as much in the outdoors, so I was hesitant. I told him that I love the idea, but I’m a newbie and would hate to be a burden for him and his 2 friends going on the trip.

He has been encouraging and accommodating in persuading me to go. He offered to share with me everything that could be shared, which drastically cuts down on both my expenses and the weight that I’ll have to carry on the trail. He plans to involve his aunt and uncle to help transport everyone to and from the trail. He monitors COVID stats and updates me so I can help my parents worry less about me going on this trip. He replies very quickly when I ask him questions about hiking, the trail, the trip, and shared his very detailed packing list with me to help with equipment choices.

I think that he is a reliable, honest, and self-sufficient man. These are all really good qualities. He isn’t afraid of taking on responsibilities; he is very open about himself and his plans; he cooks well and keeps his place almost immaculately clean, though not minimalist — he indulges in leather goods and stationery.

Of course, there is a “but”.

He used to be interested in me, a few months ago. At first he wanted to hook up (we had recently met), but I shut that down immediately. He thought about it, and said that he hasn’t been this interested in someone since his first gf in high school, so he wanted to try long term. At that point, I was meh about this whole thing, so I told him we should be friends first. He kept up the interest for a month, then said that he thinks I’m right, he doesn’t think we are long term compatible, but he wants to stay friends.

He’s really promiscuous by my standards. Though I’ve only had 2 boyfriends ever so I’m more on the conservative side. He was in a frat in college and told me his number of sexual partners is double digits (I didn’t press for more details). When I cited his promiscuity as a reason why I don’t think we are compatible, he said that he thinks he just gave off the wrong first impression and that he’s mostly been in committed relationships after college... but one of his past “relationships” was an open relationship, so I wouldn’t consider that so “committed”.

I also feel as though he’s quite self-centered. He usually says a lot of “I” statements and never just asks how I’m doing, though he does send lots of interesting thoughts/questions throughout the week.

He’s not a soft, “feelings” type of guy. I would probably never ask him for comfort, only for rational discussion/advice.

Anyway. FDS, my question to you is: is this man a HVM or LVM? Am I over-valuing his positives and downplaying his negatives? Or am I too critical about his number of sexual partners?