\Sorry for my possibles mistakes, English is not my first language. But I'm leveling up in every possible way, so mastering a foreign language is one of them!)

PART I: Brief description of my relationships.

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I come from abusive family, my mother was verbally and physically abusive to me. My family is totally dysfunctional. Of course, this sows the seed to allow for more abuse during your life.

  1. My first boyfriend (I was 17 years old at that time, he was 24) took advantage of me sexually. (He dumped me when we had sex for the first time, and ofc I was a virgin. (We were together only for a month)

  2. Later comes my first serious relationship: he was verbally abusive to me, controlling plus he cheated on me several times. (I spend 4 years with him, he dumped me)

-At this point on the timeline, I was 21 years old, suffering from depression, panic attacks and social anxiety-

  1. Now comes the worst: he controlled me how I dressed, what/when I ate. He was extremely 'sarcastic' towards me. He criticized me for everything: how I cooked, how I cleaned, how I drove, how I laugh. He also used my depression/anxiety for gaslight me. (another 4 years, he dumped me)

    1. At the age of 25, without a support system and depression, I began to seek approval from any man. And yes, approval in form of sex. It was already a pickme, but at this time everything got even more out of control.

Now I'm 27 years old and I'm dating a HVM. \I will make another post proving that FDS is the only way to go, and how I met my HVM)

My depression is gone and I'm working to improve in all areas of my life.

PART II: Victim mentality.

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When we suffer any kind of abuse, we have ambivalent thoughts. We think 'we will have done something to deserve to be treated like this/there is something bad in ourselves' but at the same time we think that we have no control over it. The first premise 'we will have done something/we have something intrinsic bad in ourselves' when we have a victim mentality leads us to a defenseless mindset.

When we take responsibility for ourselves, when we set boundaries in our relationships, we know that we can change that 'bad' thing that we think we have. The only bad thing has always been that we didn't have the appropriate tools to protect ourselves. \unfortunately we live in a misogynist world where they want us vulnerable, we live in a world where they manipulate the experiences of women in favor of men, we live in a patriarchy.)

And now it comes ...

PART III: The value of FDS.

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FDS gives us all the necessary tools. It gives us a space to vent, to ask for advice, to encourage each other.

It offers us a microworld where our experiences resonate with everyone here. In a misogynist world this is a miracle. In a misogynist world FDS is a safe space.

FDS isn't just a dating philosophy, it's a lifestyle.

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Disclaimer: You will have noticed that all my partners left me. I never initiated the breakups; they were the ones who made the decision. I was the "perfect girlfriend", submissive, kind, pretty. Still they left me. Men only value a woman who values ​​herself. If they don't respect you, they'll discard you when they find another "better woman". Better woman sometimes translates into more manipulable, more sex active, more usable. Abusive men are only looking for a woman who will serve their needs.