So the VICE article compared us to the manosphere and redpill. Here's an alternative perspective. #MeToo was a global awakening on rape, sexual assault, and overt sexual harrassment in the workplace (and/or in public). The effect was women sharing these types of experiences and going wow, me too. As in, most women have experienced rape or sexual assault at work or disturbing catcalls on the street. There are some valid criticisms of #MeToo that it was too focused on Hollywood and the entertainment industry, but it was a bona fide movement.

Here's the thing though. Not being groped, raped, overtly assaulted, or obviously verbally harassed at work or on the street is the bare fucking minimum of respect. The movement had to happen because these minimum standards were clearly not being reached.

But this is where I see FDS as a second wave of #MeToo. FDS focuses instead on emotional manipulation and verbal abuse in intimate, sexual, and romantic relationships with men. Taking #MeToo from the professional and public sphere, and into the personal and domestic sphere.

Every time I share a story about being manipulated or abused by a boyfriend or ex-boyfriend or ex-lover to one of my female friends, they say me too, and they share a similar story. We all know women who have lost years of their lives due to an abusive or manipulative relationship, who have lost money or opportunities due to forgoing school or work to honour commitments to a man who tricked them and promised a future, or who destroyed their self esteem to believe that this is the best life they can have for themselves. We all know women who are traumatized by the blatant lies and downright cruelty that men say to them after they open up to these men and are vulnerable with them. We know women who have internalized rude and demeaning comments that men make about their naked bodies after seeing them. We know women who have adopted warped views of their own sexuality and sexual pleasure due to men they are in intimate relationships with convincing them to perform sexual acts they viewed from an exploitative and humiliating porn industry. We know women who have lost earning potential, who need to go on medication, and who spend years in therapy due to these traumatizing experiences in romantic and sexual relationships with men. We are these women. FDS is about sharing these experiences with each other and going wow, me too, recognizing patterns, and sharing strategies about how to avoid this in the future. And how to choose men who are less likely to cause these types of emotional, mental, and financial harm to us. And how to be the type of woman that can avoid these harmful men or who is impossible for these types of men to successfully manipulate.

FDS is the second wave of #MeToo because we are raising the standards of respect that women deserve. Of course we deserve not to be raped. But we also deserve to be cherished by the men that we cherish.