Another Reminder To Stop Trying To Save Men From Themselves. They’ll hate you for it.

Throwaway account- I [48f] met this guy [47m] a few months ago at a bowling league we both are in. Started out super casual- drinks, texts, over one night of drinks I sense a little bit of a chip and anger in him about his divorce.

Fast forward to about a month ago and we hook up- he tells me how much he has wanted this to happen and how much he likes me but was too afraid to pursue anything because he says his life is a mess right now. I suggest we just be friends right now. Which we did until earlier in the week he calls me (pretty sure he was drunk) and it’s about 2 hours of him professing how much he likes me but his life is f’ed up, and why would I ever like him. At one point I was genuinely concerned that he may harm himself and asked him? He said no- we eventually hang up but talk about meeting for dinner this week.

We don’t talk the rest of the week- 1-2 text but he was super short on the texts. So I finally ask him this am asking if we are going to talk about the call? His texts back nope- so I call him no answer and leave a message.

This is were I cringe at my behavior (which is uncharacteristic of me to be so impulsive) I go to his house (he lives about 5 minutes from me) to say hey let’s discuss this and he’s not home- I send him a text about talking and he sends back a text to tell me to get a life and back off and he’s done. I am so embarrassed- I am the person that my friends turn to for advice and I would have told anyone in this situation not to go over there and give space. I of course will respect his request and not contact him again.

Honestly I am so mortified at how impulsive I was but I want to do a check here with you all great advice givers- I genuinely thought I was trying to be there for him which in hindsight was stupid of me considering the “relationship” had no definition yet. Anyone else do something out of character and how did you stop beating yourself up?