I went out with a few friends. This guy friend completed his PhD and knows a lot of interesting people he met at school. He told me there was this girl coming that I had taken a liking to, so I wanted to go. I need more female friends and this was an effort.

We go out to celebrate some guy's birthday that I had only met once. Really low key, just drinks at a pub.

Unfortunate highlights:

  • 2 men gave me way more attention than I wanted.

  • I unfortunately gave my phone number to one of the weirder guys when he asked for it. There was a table full of people, we were at the centre. I wanted to say no sooo badly, but, we're on the same group chat to coordinate for another girl's party next week anyway so it didn't make sense to decline.

  • there was a girl there who was really fun - not afraid to be loud or say what she thought, and I liked that. I met her last week. But she drank too much. Like, one of those "I'm going to keep up with what the men drink." girls. I didn't know that she was like that. She went home smashed.

  • Then half way through the night she tells me she identifies as non-binary and prefers "R" as her name because it's gender neutral.

  • I found out the last time I met R that she had a PhD in neuroscience from a prestigious university. I was looking forward to getting to know her. She was also married, and I liked that she had a social life outside of her husband.

  • She then gets super open about how she's in a poly relationship and cycles through boyfriends who like to be submissive in bed. At this point I was kinda done. She's interesting in so many ways (knows 6 languages, super knowledgeable about politics, has multiple degree and is interesting to talk to) but honestly TMI and no one fucking asked. It opened the flood gates to the weirder guys to talk about NSFW stuff. The rest of the table sensed that it was odd but it took a while to switch the subject.

  • Another woman who was there clung to her husband the entire time. I tried to make conversation but she was way too quiet and didn't seem like she wanted to engage with me.

  • 2 other girls made a brief appearance but were headed on a trip to see** someone else and just stopped to say hi.

There were two nice guys there. One other friend who I really like - he's married... Kind of a know it all, but otherwise a gentleman in every way, especially to women which I appreciate a lot - he got R a cab home and tolerated a bit much attention from her with ease (she kept randomly getting mad and accusing him of not being her friend .. at this point she could barely stand). He also intervened when I got too much attention from the weird guy.

I'm trying to socialize more, especially since I knew there would be other educated women there. But ugh.

I guess Friday night at a pub is NOT how to make quality female friends.