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FDSxMuffinVSrat Archive

View 42 posts and 1,174 comments by FDSxMuffinVSrat on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
382

DISCUSSIONFDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 02:26 AM
291

FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:20 AM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 06:09 PM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 04:41 PM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 05:17 PM
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DISCUSSIONFDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 12:22 AM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 12:41 AM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 08:50 PM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 08:25 AM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 05:04 AM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 07:42 AM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/askFDS19/09/20 03:08 PM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 03:47 AM
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DISCUSSIONFDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 08:24 PM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 05:04 PM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 02:34 AM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:32 AM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 08:38 PM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 09:01 PM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 03:05 PM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:06 PM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:46 AM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 02:10 PM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 06:42 AM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 08:06 AM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/askFDS14/09/20 09:40 AM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 02:40 PM
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DISCUSSIONFDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 01:36 PM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 06:57 PM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:31 AM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 06:16 PM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 07:39 AM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 11:50 PM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 08:40 AM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 05:10 AM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 07:32 PM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 10:44 PM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 02:49 AM
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FDSxMuffinVSrat/r/askFDS01/10/20 11:15 AM
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DISCUSSIONFDSxMuffinVSrat/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 07:39 PM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 1,174 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
76

Possibly group chats depending on the app.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 04:59 AM
7

Woohoo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 02:27 AM
20

What a loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 02:27 AM
2

The take on YouTube is pretty good, I like seeing their videos, there's one that discussed this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 02:25 AM
6

Well, I think we also all have had the experience where a friend drops us when she finds a boyfriend too. This is not a criticism of women so much as a general regret and sadness that I've been unable to maintain female friendships myself. It's littered in my post history, in case you're skeptical. I don't disagree with the spirit of your reply; if men pursue friendships with women is typically for sex or social clout or something like that. But the thing is, I'm in a position where I'm so alone…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 02:13 AM
3

Ouch lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:44 AM
242

I had this guy friend before. He went through a break up and confided in me a bit. He revealed that he wanted an educated, thin attractive woman who worked but also wanted kids. Alright, setting standards high. But he was also a gamer, not attractive, overweight. The one thing he did have going for him is that he was a kick ass accountant. Salary approaching 200k ish. But his last requirement? He woman couldn't be a "golddigger". How in the world did he plan on attracting a woman? His money was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 11:19 PM
8

That is the grossest thing I've heard in a while. It's our fault their dicks don't work?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 10:33 PM
31

"That's so nice, I usually have to pay to get my groceries delivered, it's so helpful that you offered. Just leave them outside and text me when you leave so it's contactless."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 10:30 PM
6

I mean, I don't think there's an actual lobby paying him to write, that's a risky accusation that makes the twitter account look conspiracy-theory-ish. It may be that this individual writer doubts the legitimacy of porn addiction. He can be wrong about that AND also not be paid by a lobby. Lots of people, men in particular, don't feel like there's anything wrong with porn already - it doesn't take someone to pay them to defend their own habits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 10:25 PM
2

He's clearly intelligent and then sprinkles half truths to make men feel like they're oppressed by "neoliberalism" or "postmodernism" to sell more books. That said, the people who follow him can learn positive things from him. He constantly tells people they should be fixing their own lives (clean up your room) before casting stones. I think he's also in a loyal long term marriage with his wife, and that sets a good example. Thing is, his audience, mostly young men, are more apt to listen to him…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 07:51 PM
2

Idk for me I think younger men are better at sex. They can actually stay hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 07:43 PM
5

Idk for me I think younger men are better at sex. They can actually stay hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 07:38 PM
135

Why is taking pics of women's asses ok at all? Why isn't THAT the objection here?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 07:36 PM
397

Why is taking pics of women's asses ok at all? Why isn't THAT the objection here?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 07:34 PM
1

Nope
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 01:41 AM
9

Speculation: divorce wasn't an option until the last half century. If either partner was dissatisfied that can manifest as seeing each other as annoying instead of being able to go separate ways women have been considered property for a large part of history (and still are depending on where in the world you look). If you don't consider someone a person it's easier to dismiss their needs or wants women are more verbal than men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 01:01 AM
4

Ha I like that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 12:57 AM
40

Yeah it's so weird.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 09:11 PM
88

"This man is so normal that it's freaking me out."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:36 PM
7

I think investing in property makes sense because you get the benefits of using the investment either for yourself or tenents which has additional value. But I haven't done it yet. I think like it sounds like more work which I'm not ready for at this point. I think it's also dependent on taxation or tax benefits relative to location, so there's no one fits all answer. In some places your mortgage can be tax deductible, but in other places you'll pay a lot of property tax.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:01 PM
98

OMFG. So I was on this gaming chat and it's overwhelming guys. They start talking about investing and which things they're moving around and buying and selling. They ask my opinion and I say I go with straight up boring index funds because they outperform almost everything in the long run, but that I'd be open to investing in property if I felt good about it. They go back and forth like baboons and someone bothers to look up whether I'm right and they see that I am. Index funds are the way to go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:10 PM
4

I definitely agree with the kid thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:05 PM
15

Here's the thing. My last name is my dad's. He did so little raising me compared to my mom. So my last name is not a point of pride. I don't identify with the culture either. I don't even like the sound of my last name, it's not pretty. So if I found a man who was worth marrying, I wouldn't mind switching my name so long as it wasn't demanded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:04 PM
4

For media, it's validated how I feel about romcoms. The only good romantic show I like is This Is Us. Open to other suggestions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:01 PM
38

Ew single father /s At least he's honest so it's easier to filter him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 05:59 PM
3

Yeah and on bumble BFF there's a 24 hour time limit as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 05:57 PM
1

I'd be willing to but how? It's discouraged here for safety and privacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 04:30 PM
5

I can't really say, I've never dated anyone without a degree, but I'd be open to. I've met smart people and dumb people with and without degrees. But for the same reason employers people with degrees, I can see why women do also. Consistency, follow through, at least a base amount of intelligence. You're entitled to your own standards of course.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 04:27 PM
10

I'm an introvert as well. I can spend 95% of my time happily by myself. But no one is programmed to be 100% alone, which is what I've been for a very long time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 03:49 PM
11

It was my last attempt. I've struggled for years with it. Women don't try to initiate or maintain friendships with me and it gets tiring being the only one putting in effort. Yes I've tried teams hobbies work and school. I'm pretty much at the point of giving myself permission not to try anymore. Doing the same thing over and over is not helping.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 03:47 PM
8

I don't care. I don't think a degree will necessarily make him a better partner. If he has a decent job I don't particularly mind either way. All of the men I've dated either had degrees or were in school, I think most of the people that I meet have degrees in general. But it's not the only way to have a good life or work hard, and there are certainly people with university degrees that cheat, are assholes,. Etc. I don't know how valuable a filter it is but it's important to some people and I th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 03:43 PM
8

I don't have one. I think I could be happy with someone with either a blue collar or white collar job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 03:35 PM
7

Men at least try to be friendly with you even if it's for sex. Women seem to want nothing to do with me and after a while it feels rude to keep trying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 03:30 PM
11

Libraries in my city are dwellings for the homeless. Not advisable at all. Book club could be good if there are any book shops open still open after Covid. Thing is, I've met people through hobbies. Usually I get ghosted and it ends there. I'm just tired of trying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 02:55 PM
4

Lots of Covid here unfortunately which makes things harder. Haven't had a friend in like 2 years now though so I can't blame it all on Covid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:50 AM
9

I think it can be both in the right situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:48 AM
114

I feel like this is a little bit true because they are so few men who DON'T watch porn. I feel like almost every woman given the option would take a man who watches no porn vs any porn. But there are too few.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 02:48 AM
16

As an add, absolutely reverse image search THEIR photos. You may find that their Facebook reveals they are using a different name, profession, location etc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 02:47 AM
35

Damn true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 02:46 AM
5

What the fuck
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 06:39 PM
17

I've never been attracted to a man who isn't strong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 08:01 AM
13

Nah I'm childfree because I have no interest in children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 07:57 AM
2

Fuuuck. Most of the things here, I've seen before. All the ways guys hurt women, vetting techniques, memes. That was a novel thought entering my brain and it unfortunately applies to my past experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 01:48 AM
13

You're bettering yourself. Does it really matter where that motivation is coming from? Don't feel guilty. It's normal to feel bad after a break up and it's normal to make changes, and it's great that those changes are for the better. It's not a point of pride, in my opinion, to say you're immediately over your ex - we're human and we love - losing that is painful and that's not a weakness. If you're harnessing your emotions to make your life better and reach goals, who cares? Sounds like a good …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 01:43 AM
91

I kind of believe this on a personal level. I don't want kids, and one of my main concerns in dating is that someone with not want kids right now, and find that I'm convenient to date because I can be trusted to get an abortion. So now I won't keep relationships where the guy doesn't get a vasectomy within 6 months of becoming exclusive. Hypothetically: he doesn't want kids I don't want kids birth control and condoms kind of suck male sterilization is easier than female sterilization It's now a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 01:15 PM
10

We quite literally don't need men to reproduce now. Sperm makes it easier and less expensive but if you wanted to you could have a fatherless child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 06:53 PM
29

So she has the better job and she's the whore?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 01:38 PM
5

This is DVR6 I'm in FDS. It's the only place that acknowledges it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 12:23 PM
5

I will answer on behalf of my mom 1) 10 years. She told him that his uncle creeped on her when they visited a decade earlier. She told him when it happened. Nothing was done. 15 years later he told her he didn't believe her. That was the final straw but there were lots of reasons she should have done it sooner. She didn't miss signs, she knew he was messed up, but he would manipulate her into staying. Social pressure and to an extent finances pressured her to stay 2) she feels more free but she …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 06:31 PM
3

Lmfao I love this please do more
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 06:27 PM
7

Straight up, politics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 06:25 PM
26

Well I'm proud I can get every time I've moaned I've meant it. Sometimes I will sightly exaggerate as non verbal communication when I like something and want to encourage it though because I find talking during sex ruins the experience for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 06:23 PM
71

They call it nagging when we communicate our needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 06:20 PM
1

Well for clarification I'm absolutely socially isolated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 06:19 PM
5

Why is this such a pervasive issue in this community? I'm glad to not be alone in finding it difficult to make lasting friends, it makes me feel more normal instead of outcast. But that's the deal here exactly?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 06:40 AM
0

It's not a loss, we don't want creeps that prey on women with age gaps. Although the more I look at stats about erectile dysfunction, the more I'm convinced I'll only want sex with men in their 20s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 11:49 PM
5

All the guys I've dated were socially left leaning and still bought me dinner regularly. They will when they want to impress you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 11:47 PM
213

I'm stuck in panel 4, pls send help. (This is a self deprecating joke about my loneliness, not my impressions of other women).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 11:44 PM
60

It's astounding to me that we even live in a world where women have to be assured that it's not bitchy to not want to interact with someone, romantically or otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 11:42 PM
12

I know two women over 40 who wanted kids but focused on their careers more. They both married later in life. They regret not having kids. Both are happily married though, and one retired at 48 (she made $$$). I know way more failed stay at home mom stories though. Cheating mainly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 09:52 PM
57

I've never felt that being called hyergamous was an insult. Yeah, I want a quality guy, not going to apologize for that. Why should I settle for average?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 05:15 AM
5

Cute
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 04:16 AM
56

Even if you take them at their word it's weird though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 04:17 AM
5

Probably someone who got rejected by a black women and is projecting. I can't think of something that would compel someone to specifically harass black women discussing dating online.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 10:48 AM
43

Exactly. Women aren't insane enough to attack people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 10:01 PM
5

Idk why you're downvoted, it's true. Diamonds also aren't the only gem. And, as much as I would encourage people to vote with their dollars where possible, I'd add that if men only bring up the morality the diamond industry but other industries (clothing manufacturing, tech, coffee trade etc) then he just doesn't want to spend money on you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 03:30 PM
14

My new dating montra.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 03:18 PM
3

Anything to feel superior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 02:52 PM
7

I've downloaded dating apps just to see, but I've never taken it seriously or even posted my face online, much less dated. So no for me. I signed up with a photo of Cinderella from Disney and got 99+ likes in Tinder overnight. That many guys are not into Cinderella lol, just a lot of thirsty men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 11:07 PM
5

I value compliments from women more. I only enjoy compliments from men I like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 11:03 PM
17

We met playing a game and his stats were 10% better across the board. One time he casually said, like it was nothing, that my account would make a good alt of I ever quit. The sheer insensitivity of being superior about a game, something I really enjoyed, got my blood boiling. While his account was objectively better, my account was my no means like a secondary account, it was still will within the top 10% of accounts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 10:58 PM
26

It's empowering in the sense that it's often the last safety net between poverty and financial stability, in a way that only a last resort can be. There's value to prostitution for women in that sense. It's a reality that many women live in poverty and can't afford to be proud. So I try not to judge; it's the men that are exploiting another's misfortune, and she's just trying to survive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 02:59 PM
7

That pick me is not a pick me. I'm convinced it's a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 02:51 PM
5

What the absolute fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 08:41 PM
2

Haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 11:31 AM
4

I can sympathize with that. I'm the only person under 30 where I work - everyone else is over 50.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 11:26 AM
2

Same. I fully believed it was possible too, but men have consistently proven me wrong. I still believe it's possible for men and women to be friends, but I think it's 1 in a 1000, usually when the guy is gay, or married+loyal. It's not impossible, but the chances are so low that practically speaking it's not worth my time to invest time and effort in friendships with men. Not impossible, but so much of a gamble.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 11:24 AM
5

So, I don't think anyone deserves another person, like a reward. The way I look at it is that you deserve to not be with someone who worsens the quality of your life. I don't think any man or woman deserves someone. I think everyone deserves to be feel of negativity; a lot of men bring negativity into women's lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 11:19 AM
33

They had me until "greatest country". Nerdy, yep, brainwashing women, yep, prostitution, yep... "Greatest country." Ohhhhhhh that's supposed to be a good thing? I thought up until the last line they were making fun of Japan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 06:18 PM
31

My first boyfriend, when I was 15, treated me lovely at the start. Gifts, compliments, sweet things. Everything a 15 year old wants. A few months in he starts guilting me. Eventually he tells me he'd kill himself if I ever left him. A teacher of mine in school actually posed a theoretical question about whether that was abuse in class, and when most of the class agreed it was, I realized that the fact that I felt trapped in that relationship was normal and that it wasn't healthy. I broke up with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 10:15 PM
21

From social media? Is it common to make friends on social media?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 09:53 PM
48

I don't. I have small ways to substitute it for myself, or distract, but nothing really replaces the touch of another person. Sure, sure, we can get massages and hug our pets. I've even considered getting one of those pillow boyfriends. It can help but it's not the same and it's ok to miss it. Just be real about why you're going without; dating can suck and dating during a pandemic is worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 02:08 PM
56

Imagine being mad that someone spent money on themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 10:15 PM
2

That's what I meant haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 10:08 PM
8

I am both.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:09 PM
4

If I want to get a cheap pretty ring to deter men from asking me out, that won't turn my finger green, where do you recommend looking? Also yours is beautiful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:07 PM
139

I was crushing on this guy for months. I'm not looking for anything and I can enjoy a crush. Texting during Covid mostly. I found out he's against our Canadian tax payer funded medical care. Tf? We are so lucky - there's room for improvement, but we don't go into medical debt or have medical bankruptcies and we don't die because we can't afford an ambulance. I was quite enjoying my crush. He didn't know I liked him, and still he managed to ruin it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 11:21 PM
1

I tried whisper because the idea sounded neat. 80% of it is people trying to get laid. There are already apps for that =[
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 12:55 PM
37

To be honest, the majority of men who engage in those gender debates are over represented online. I've never heard a man in person refer to society as matriarchal - the ones who do, are willing to venture outside their basements minimally so we're less likely to stumble upon them in the real world. As much as I appreciate FDS I think it's important to also internalize that most people don't care for these gender debates. Men don't just come up to you and talk about your abstract value in relatio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 12:42 PM
24

I couldn't do online dating. It's just so depressing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 12:06 PM
1

I definitely blame men more because women often turn to prostitution in various forms as a financial safety net. I can't exactly condemn them for defending their livelihood and the cognitive dissonance involved in wanting to think of themselves well at the same time. It's more complicated. But with men, it's pure selfishness in wanting easy sexual access and to control women and then blame them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 12:05 PM
11

If I ever get married this will absolutely be in a prenup. I want some kind of clause that punishes infidelity by making him financially liable. At the very least costs for lawyers and then some.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 11:58 AM
10

I think the narrative on porn is slowly starting to change on Reddit. Unfortunately it's because men realize they're addicted rather than caring about potentially watching coerced sexual acts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 11:46 AM
45

This is so delusional I almost suspect that it's fake lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 11:44 AM
7

I don't see any benefit to it. There's no gain and a lot to risk. From a purely selfish standpoint, there's no incentive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 11:42 AM
151

Exactly, everything you said. Doesn't seem real and even if it is, wtf? The only sensible thing is the granddad but it's messed up that that's what it takes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 01:37 PM
93

Well this is one difference in men and women that I believe in. Men are stronger and it doesn't offend me. But it means I have different expectations. He's the one that does the heavy lifting, always. Every boyfriend I had knew it was his responsibility to assemble my Ikea furniture, and I'd help and hand them tools as requested. It honestly also meant that I knew he'd defend me if he had to. I don't want a weak partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 10:28 AM
67

I run short marathons (5k, 10k), and I've met some men like that who are pretty attractive and fit. I think if you want to meet someone active, you have to be active and meet them that way. I don't think it's shallow to want to be attracted to someone who date. However, I do think it's important to realize not many men will meet our standards. Finding someone who is as educated, and attractive is hard. But he also has to be a decent person and have similar relationship goals. It's a minority of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 09:03 PM
92

Single is a LVL up from being in a relationship you're not happy in. Single also doesn't mean alone. Also that's gross that he said that. If you have to threaten a supposed negative consequence to convince someone they should feel bad for not being with you, they shouldn't be with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 01:14 PM
42

The only problem with this is that men who haven't had sexual partners because they repel women will think they have big dicks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 12:33 PM
5

I don't know. I've only been in one situation where someone didn't answer my texts and yes she was not single. But it's one occasion so I don't know that I can build a lot from that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 12:29 PM
8

I think it's natural or at least typical for women with partners to dedicate more time to them, and women with kids obviously have different priorities and rightly so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 12:12 PM
22

Because if someone's always pandering to you, you feel like you're taking advantage of them. People with empathy don't want to take advantage of others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 08:36 AM
57

Women aren't interested in being friends with me. No matter how I meet them or what our mutual interests are. Friendships end when I stop carrying the weight. The last female friend I made didn't text me anything on Christmas. The reason I didn't text was because in November, I initiated each of our 3 conversations. I didn't initiate in December at all to see if she cared - I don't want to build one way relationships because it feels like I'm constantly bothering the other person if they never b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 08:23 AM
31

I broke up with the last guy because I was getting bored. While it seems like a superficial thing that you can work on, I don't think there's a great way to work on it. If you're bored a couple of months in its just an uphill battle to start happy in the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 05:37 PM
5

"You are mentally ill for thinking that watching women who are often sexually coerced for profit is addictive and harmful to men."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 05:31 PM
1

Very pretty ring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 05:25 PM
2

Savage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 10:57 PM
6

What the fuck..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 10:54 PM
15

I want to emphasize the point that you don't need to be addicted to porn for it to be harmful. I think many men with side step the issue by saying porn can be bad if you're addicted, but he himself is not an addict so it's totally ok. You don't need to be addicted to porn for it to have a negative affect on you. I think of it like alcohol. you can be addicted and that's really bad. you can not be addicted, but that doesn't shield you from harmful effects, like hangovers, increased risk of develo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 07:43 PM
7

Ew
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 07:37 PM
7

I wouldn't even know what to do there. There's no one to report him to. It costs a lot of money to sue. It risks her job not to. gross situation to be in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 07:37 PM
13

I remember this one gift, but it doesn't quite fit what you're looking for. I tend to give thoughtful gifts and don't spend too much unless it makes sense to. One time I got an ex a $30 comic book for Christmas and he spent $200 on my gifts. He had a frustrated look on his face. I asked him why and he said that the gift I bought him was better - it required that I listened to him, knew his interests, and invested time in looking into which one he needed. He thought that I had tuned out when he h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 07:30 PM
1

So fucking true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 03:22 PM
1

Same. Especially at the gym. I felt more free from judgement which I needed to feel comfortable learning. If there was a way I could get women only can drivers I'd love it. I'm not sure that the rest is actually practical though tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 03:20 PM
20

Exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 01:18 PM
3

I'm not against pornography in theory but I don't think there's a single way where it can be reliably produced with ensuring that women are actually safe and consenting. When men defend porn they just sneak in ITS ALL CONSENSUAL SO WHATS WRONG WITH THAT HUH?? You can just provide a hypothetical where everything is consensual and then declare that all porn is represented by that hypothetical... It reminds me of people trying to justify torture for information. "Ok ok imagine there's a terrorist a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 01:08 PM
6

I love this subreddit for this. Block and delete, sounds simple enough. I knew it was an option before FDS, but I never exercised it. And then when you do, it's like. Oh. That was a little uncomfortable for 5 minutes but now I just get... Peace?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 12:59 PM
3

The guy with the biggest dick I dated couldn't stay hard so he was useless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 12:56 PM
2

Yeah that was the period and only time I've had sex outside a relationship. And it sucks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 11:02 PM
6

I love the succinct and powerful one liners like this. Because it's just true. It's not an essay. It's a simple and powerful truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 09:19 PM
4

Men looking for women in place of therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 04:17 AM
98

I would actually like to see more examples of how abandoning a bad date looks like. I know I certainly don't have experience with that she visual examples can't hurt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 03:51 AM
95

The one FWB I had was salty a year and a half later that he paid $32 for a date when we were hooking up. I think he brought it up as a way to get me to engage in conversation with him. But like what the fuck? How do you even remember that..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 02:19 AM
4

Did I miss the ground turkey joke?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 09:50 PM
25

"Want to come over?" "No" (thinking, jeez that's way too soon to feel comfortable being alone with him) Men on the internet: what a bitch!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 09:50 PM
3

Lmfffao so true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 07:07 PM
14

I've questioned my sexuality myself. If I'm not attracted to 99% of men can I really say I'm attracted to men? Idk. I'm bi myself and I wonder sometimes too lol. Oh well. Sexuality might not be a choice but who we choose is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 02:30 AM
17

I think being a man has more advantages, but to say I wish I were a man would be to have a totally different and unrecognizable life. So I don't know that women necessarily have easier lives but I don't want to change the person I am.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 02:08 AM
29

Women are actually more likely to make women orgasm, so what you're saying is literally fact, not just opinion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 01:55 AM
2

Who needs to be told to wear underwear?!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 12:22 AM
2

Lol I didn't let my last boyfriend ever enter my place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 11:56 PM
1

My experience was completely reversed. The most romantic gifts and gestures were from high school boyfriends for me. Exclusivity was also brought up quicker and dates were more formal. Dating as an adult is much harder in my experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 11:53 PM
3

He was basically a liability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 11:50 PM
8

Well it's funny specifically because someone who is this deranged still has the ability to put in effort and be affectionate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 11:48 PM
37

A friend of mine asked me if I wanted to go hiking. I met her at her place, we drove 4 hours outside the city to a cabin for 2 nights and went hiking on large trails with great views. She had trail mix and sandwiches prepped and we went out for dinner both nights. That's a good walking date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 11:45 PM
2

This isn't an argument for women to accept less from men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 08:07 PM
12

Don't get me wrong, I'm childfree myself and I won't compromise the life style I want. I'm also single and commited to being so for at least Covid. It's just a thought and there's no specific point to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 06:21 PM
18

So I've had a question about this that I don't really know how to ask. Is this what's happening in Japan as well? The number of women choosing not to be partnered is increasing in North America for sure. But I feel like Japan was a step ahead in that regard, so much so that for decades marriage and childbirth have been consistently low. And this concern is more abstract and theoretical - can society last if men and women reject each other? I don't mean this question to be about anyone specific. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 04:31 PM
7

I think it's far more applicable in the online dating world where people, especially men, try to cast a wide net by seeing many people. Adopting that same approach can help you to recognize red flags when comparing guys to each other. But it's still relevant outside of OLD. I think the principle still applies - don't reject a date on the basis that you're casually dating another man. For example, if I've been on 4 or 5 dates with Jack, I shouldn't reject John on the basis that I've been seeing J…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 06:49 AM
44

Oh I disagree here. I think puns are genuinely funny. But since joining FDS in intolerant of half of what I see on /r/memes. Half of them are sexual or negative towards women in done way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:37 PM
15

OP I 1000% agree with this response. FDS encourages women to date multiple men at a time when dating so you don't get tunnel vision on one individual early on; dating multiple people is strategic so you get to see what other men are like compared to each other and be more open to perceiving red flags. It's a good strategy, but, it's not MANDATORY. If you're not comfortable with it, don't do it. But also question - why don't you feel comfortable with this? Why do you feel like you owe loyalty to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:35 PM
1

I prefer female doctors because it's more comfortable, but I'm not prepared to call all male doctors creeps for it. I 100% would question their intentions in my mind, but I do think that assumption is a bit much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:29 PM
10

Lmao I did that too XD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:25 PM
49

I think the worst misconception about porn is either that you're addicted or you're not. It's like, they get to say "Yeah porn can cause addictions, but since I'm not addicted there's absolutely nothing wrong with it." There's a middle ground that's still harmful. Your expectations about sex and women still change, even if it's more subtle than being fully addicted. Like alcohol - you don't have to be an alcoholic to experience negative affects from consumption. You can still go on a bender and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:14 PM
9

Starts off a bit slow, but his criticism sound like I'm hearing one of you ladies. "All your pictures suck... In general you need way better pictures. You're not even trying, that's the thing. You're like 'oh I don't get matches', but you're not even trying ... Go out and go take a picture. Put in some effort. What are you doing on this site? ... Make a bio that's not a smiley face!!! That's the best you can do?? Pathetic!! Why would I swipe on someone who can't even put time into themselves?...…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:18 PM
6

What the fuck
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:32 PM
2

I think she meant to say that if you use an email to sign up for Tinder, you'll get different results on the sign up page based on whether it allows you to use his email address in continuing with the sign up process. For example if I sign up to Reddit with my boyfriends email, but he already has an account, then Reddit will say that email has already been used to sign up. Tinder probably uses a similar process; if it prevents you from signing up with his email, he probably has a Tinder account.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:29 PM
74

They want someone hot, but not someone who is obsessed with her looks. How exactly is that supposed to happen? They want this magical balance of beauty and modesty, so they don't have to worry about other men as competition, but also she has to be attractive enough for him to want. They want a contradiction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:16 PM
7

Yep. Even the ones that don't use you for access to other women in obvious or subtle ways. I don't do it anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 01:46 PM
9

That's hilarious. ~~~~
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 01:45 PM
3

Ok I usually don't like these tiktoks for the content, but that's exactly how I feel lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 01:41 PM
5

Her eyes are grey? Are those contacts? Very pretty eyes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 01:40 PM
2

I don't mind. My last name is tied to my father's culture and I don't identify with it much. I'm not proud of my last name really. If he has a nicer one, I'm fine with that. However I'd make a deal for sure. If we're doing something antiquated like that then the proposal has to be really special.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:02 AM
3

That's stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:50 AM
7

That's disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 07:00 PM
2

I'm still conflicted about one of my exes. He had literally every HV trait mentioned on this subreddit and then he cheated. He had a few LV traits as we but it wasn't very obvious. Like, he was inconsistent with working out. Or, he was insecure about his hair loss. But everything about him while we were together was great. I was spoiled endlessly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 06:39 PM
4

I sympathize with this view. I worked at a suicide hotline and sometimes we'd get calls from abused women. I don't think it's as easy as "just report it". It's understandably traumatic and some women want to put it behind them immediately. I'd like to remind everyone on this subreddit that this subreddit advises women not to share details about past abuse with romantic partners for a reasons that can overlap with why you wouldn't want to share with others. I don't judge women for not wanting to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 06:29 PM
81

Tip for finding out whether your boyfriend is on Tinder: sign up with a fake Tinder account. Use a picture of someone you don't know. set age to his age set distance to 1km away swipe until you see him To help consider the following things: you may have to increase your distance if you are not swiping from his place. If you live separately and you know he's connected to his home wifi this might help. Say you live 20km away from him. You don't want to swipe everyone within a 20km radius. SO, set …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 06:21 PM
2

Ew
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 01:11 PM
53

100%. I understand that it's safer not to retaliate and I respect that approach. I'd personally just be too mad to act in my own interest above exacting justice there. What the fuck can you even imagine someone you're making out with just hitting you??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 01:09 PM
3

Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 01:02 PM
54

I remember in general that hanging out with people who were older was seen as cool. Looking back, most of the people who hung out with younger people were losers; low grades, self esteem issues, few or no friends etc. They had to go beyond their age or grade bracket to find socialization. It makes a lot of sense that the same applies to romantic relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 01:02 PM
19

Porn is so normalized though. I agree with the criticisms of porn that you laid out and I agree with you having your own boundaries. But so few men abstain from porn for the reasons we agree with. I'd wager less than 2 or 3%, and of that 2-3% I think many will have issues. I don't know if it's a realistic standard. And I don't know how it would work in practice either. Do you just one day say "By the way if you watch porn we're done.". Do you ask their opinions on pornography when you start dati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 12:00 PM
54

A friend of mine almost definitely uses a sugar daddy. Or multiple. She's only 23 and she has 2 expensive cars and cash on demand. I'd say she spends at least $50 on food everyday. So, they see money. I also have a friend who is dating a 55 year old with no job and future. they live in her parents basement. My theory there is that neither of them could find anyone within their own age groups and they settled for each other. I say friends as a shorthand here btw. I don't speak to them because the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 03:01 PM
47

It's worth noting that when guys were paired with female friends in the study, they did not slow down. When they walked with other guys, they actually sped up. And when women walked with female friends, both women slowed down, perhaps reflecting the intimacy of those relationships, Wall-Scheffler says.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 02:40 PM
55

Omg that's totally some my ex used to do. We were together for 5 months and towards the end I knew it wasn't working. I noticed he do EXACTLY this. It's one of those small things that really annoyed me, to me it felt like he didn't care if he was walking too fast. A few times I ditched him like that and let him keep walking. I actually saw on Reddit a few times, this study being reposted. I'd men are interested in you, they walk at your pace. If men walk with other men, their walking speeds incr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 02:39 PM
39

Hahahaha I love this subreddit 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 08:04 PM
1

Lol true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:52 PM
1

I'm not on social media and my face is no where to be see online. In fact I couldn't even join FDS discord because I don't want to show my face. So yeah I rarely kind myself in the position of getting random DMs and stuff. It still happens through texting especially on WhatsApp. If I'm on a group chat then sometimes guys will direct text. When I didn't like where it was going I just say "I don't want to talk to you off of the group chat" and then block them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:55 PM
2

I know 3 vegan men. 2 are obsessed with video games and the other is so so LVM. I don't talk to any of them any more. Tbh I don't think vegan or not will tell you enough about whether they're HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:49 PM
1

The 4/5th movie is kind of good though if you look at it in isolation. She marries a rich handsome guy and in doing so she becomes immortal and gets super powers. She has an unpleasant pregnancy and some others aren't happy with the birth of her child but she learns about a broader community ready to support her. It ends with the knowledge that her daughter is nearly immortal and will live a very long time. Idk... Give me that fairy tale shit 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:46 PM
3

This is Us. The men on that show are HVM. I now can't settle for less than Jack Peterson.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:38 PM
3

I've had an issue with romcoms for YEARS even pre FDS. They always manufacture issues that don't exist in reality. Someone does something stupid and the other forgives after a big romantic gesture. That's not love. And it ends with a relationship beginning, which isn't how life goes either. But now after joining FDS, I just see LVM before I even assess how stupid the plot is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:34 PM
6

Tbh I find this kind of cringy. I don't care if women put effort into their appearance. Sometimes it's for themselves and sometimes it's to attract men. I think neither are bad on its own... I guess I'm just worried that it is saying that caring about your appearance is the result of capitalism gone wrong or it's a different version of men oppressing women. And to the extent that you believe it's true for you, it's fine to modify your approach to beauty, if you think you've gone too far, but it'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:28 PM
2

Oooo yep mine too. But at that point their marriage was so broken that my mom was just glad it didn't have to be her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:14 PM
8

At a certain point it's the equivalent of a "nice guy" "I cooked for him, why won't be talk to me? I did so much for him, don't I deserve to be loved back?" No. He doesn't owe you anything, you can't manufacture love from good intentions. He doesn't want you. So don't put the effort in him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 11:52 AM
13

Exactly lmao can you imagine how deluded... Call yourself a 10 when you're a man and still need a chair to reach the top shelf. I've dated short attractive guys but nooo they were not 10s, they were short!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 10:28 AM
50

It's about 4% which is on par with false accusations of other crimes. It's probably lower, because many rape kits don't get processed and cases can't come to a close, so there are so many allegations where we have evidence that "she wasn't lying" because we have evidence of who it was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 12:22 PM
13

My mom broke her foot and the only thing my dad for was cook spaghetti once. Literally nothing else changed. At that point my mom new it was over, but he threatened to commit suicide to get her to stay 5 more years. Yep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 12:15 PM
2

That's the great thing about not needing men. They have to make us want them. And that requires effort. ~~~~~~~~
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 11:36 AM
5

It means they're the opposite. But yeah it totally sounds like that XD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 11:33 AM
6

What does this even mean??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 11:32 AM
7

Tbh I feel like "size doesn't matter" is true because men overestimate the importance of their penis during sex anyway. Fingers+mouth matter way more to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 08:37 PM
28

I love this subreddit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 08:33 PM
24

Kinda curious what the question was
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 09:38 AM
47

Is she plus sized? She's not skinny bit she doesn't look fat at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 09:31 AM
9

Yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 05:33 PM
2

As a meat eater, and someone with a close friend who has celiacs, it's a huge struggle going out to eat with someone with a lot of dietary restrictions when you don't have any yourself. With my friend, I always let her choose where we go, but we also don't live together or rat out together super often, so it's not like I have to sacrifice my entire diet just to be her friend. But yeah definitely a compatibility issue if you're trying to merge your lifestyles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 04:19 PM
2

And of course "you love it when your man goes down on you" is absent. That the fuck is this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 04:15 PM
3

Wow that's disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 04:13 PM
11

Having a relationship = constant access to sex I hate that when men want to be in relationships it's because of sex. Like, fuck you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:46 AM
42

I love Canada, but I'm unsure that the law would protect wen defending themselves here. Strong self defense laws seem like a very American value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:44 AM
5

Yeah creating is one thing but maintaining is a whole other challenge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 04:00 AM
8

Shout out to the mods for maintaining as fort Knox.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 03:56 AM
19

What a loser lol. Report it for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 08:57 PM
332

both feel scripted. If they're not... the question was "Does weight matter to you?". The first guy was obviously, OBVIOUSLY disrespectful in calling women bitches. BUT you also can't expect him to answer "Does this women deserve respect?" when he was asked "Does a woman's weight matter to you?" I think weight does matter. I don't want to date fat men and be pressured to pretend that weight doesn't factor into someone's attractiveness. I don't think the first guy is an ass because he doesn't want…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 04:12 AM
3

Haha that's really funny that almost all cultures have a similar phrasing. I'd love to hear more if you ladies know others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 12:34 AM
1

probably a man if a woman, she's got a serious issue with lack of attention or self esteem issues tbh I still blame the man more for cheating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 12:31 AM
3

Mine would be, "It's ok to be single" I understood that on an intellectual level, but I had not truly internalized it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 12:25 AM
2

Yes. My ex prefered words of affirmation. It was a pretty plus relationship except for the things that went wrong lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 12:24 AM
14

I mean I understand that some people are obviously more attractive than others and while a 1-10 system isn't objective it certainly conveys that some people are more attractive than others efficiently. For what it's worth I've never heard a person in real life say x/10 unless it was to give someone a compliment by exaggerating, eg 12/10 etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 12:19 AM
37

That's terrifying. Also why I never acknowledge anything that's advertised as free unless it's a huge retailer like McDonald's free coffee week or something
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 12:00 AM
3

I do believe in time lines with this. What is he doing with me and he's reached 6 months without saying it? I've just realised I have never had a man say I love you first. The one time I said it was with a high school boyfriend. He said something funny in a park and 16 year old me just happily blurted out that I loved him without any expectations or regard. He said it back within a week and we lasted 6 happy years plus 2 unhappy ones where I realized he was never going to propose. I think if I a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 10:01 PM
2

I've taken a shot and talked to some people in my DMs. Men fish for info and don't respect boundaries as well. Women's messages are a little bit longer and descriptive. I would not talk to someone with that message. It's too vague, I'd just ignore it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 09:41 PM
2

I can't have a dog because my roommate is allergic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 09:22 PM
2

YEP
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 07:25 AM
20

Same here I don't really know. I think a lot is just luck. I've tried all the advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 07:25 AM
140

Men have always and will always do.shit like this. FDS is here to help women learn about it faster so other women won't have to learn by experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 07:22 AM
2

I often just think men do selfish things because they're a little stupid - they don't play the long game in investing into their own happiness by fostering genuinely positive relationships. But what you described looks intentionally malicious to me. It looks like he was try to intentional control and manipulate to try to make you crazy - literally everything you did he labeled wrong and he framed your interactions with him with no possible way for you to be at peace. That's pretty vile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 09:43 PM
6

We're the opposite of an incel sub because we choose not to have sex with men until commitment has been established. But if we did have sex with a lot of the men that we already have the choice to have sex with, we'd be labeled whores or sluts or something by these same men. There is rarely a female equivalent of a male incel. That's just not how it works, because men are desperate for sex. It's truly a case of projection - they can't sleep with other people, and that frustrated them, so they as…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 09:27 PM
21

The only silver lining you have here is that they make themselves easy to filter out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 09:10 PM
1

True
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 09:09 PM
3

Wow. There's no empathy at all his post. There's no understanding that women have valid reason to fear men even if he's never done anything wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 08:29 AM
21

Omg so true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 07:23 AM
2

I'm less likely to spend time on men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 08:23 PM
9

This is a fake post right? This is gross if it's real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 08:18 PM
3

"Didn't peak in high school"?? So where I live, if someone says that you peaked in high school, that means that you did well socially in high school, but that's the best you achieved. it's used to refer to that kid who was well liked but 10nyears later works at McDonald's and hasn't done anything with his life. So... I guess another issue with this post is that he doesn't know what the words he says actually mean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 08:15 PM
4

When you realize what's up for debate is our standards it's really gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 06:25 PM
2

I don't even blink at being called hyergamous. First of all, no one would actually use that word in real life without either being a zoologist or an incel. Secondly, so what? Given the choice, if you cannot choose your equal, who would opt for someone less attractive, less intelligent, less wealthy than themselves? Am I SUPPOSED TO be attracted to people who are less attractive? What the fuck sense does that make? I'll have high standards. I'd rather be single than be disappointed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 07:42 AM
2

40% of domestic abuse???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 07:33 AM
9

If you don't have a job I think you'll have to depend on family. Strongly strongly consider it. You'd have a built in support system during a hard time, some support in child care and housing hopefully. Is he literally not giving your car to escape that's abuse at that point and way over my head. I hope you manage; divorce is the goal for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 07:29 AM
6

I've been open with my partner's about the fact that I'm bi and I've never been asked for a threesome. I generally don't say anything about it unless it comes up though, with family, friends etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 03:03 AM
6

I had a boyfriend who met almost all the categories of a HVM that are ever mentioned. He wasn't financially independent, but we were 23 at the time of our break up so. I don't know. Life is harder alone and when I see lists it's easy to remember how good he was and happier times. No one has cared for my happiness like he did. And, I've nearly given up on men now, so I feels like my best relationship in life is behind me. Will I ever be so intimately connected with another person? Probably not, b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 08:42 AM
4

Only 12 but I'm kind of a loner. There's no one in my contacts who shouldn't be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 07:47 AM
2

Yeah like I said I've never been asked on a walk date so it's all hypothetical for me but I get where you're coming from.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 03:42 PM
67

That's the point. Not only did she pay, he literally took her money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 08:11 AM
2

You're right but there's still the desire to express how absurd the offer is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 05:44 AM
26

I don't want to turn off directs is there a way to do that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 05:42 AM
78

There's a lot missing between 8 and 9. Also there's no way I'm leaving my phone in the car lol. I expect him not to be checking it but parting from my phone is unsafe for me and my privacy if it's stolen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 08:36 PM
37

I haven't joined a dating app, so I've never been asked on a walk date, but if I would I'd probably say something like "No that's too intimate for a first date, I want to take it slower." If he asks what I mean I'd say something like, "Well, going hiking on the nice trails is a few hours drive from the city. You're asking someone you just met to spend several hours alone with you where I can't reach anyone else. That puts me in a very vulnerable position and what you're asking requires way more …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 08:33 PM
38

Ahahahahaba
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 08:26 PM
26

I straight up disagree that rape isn't worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 08:08 PM
45

I mean there's a huge difference between a 1970s Playboy or a naked woman poster in a garage and literal rape that you can find on pornhub today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 07:58 PM
14

Just because it's legal doesn't mean it's not gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 07:41 PM
6

I was wondering why the hell this was posted here until I saw the flair lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 07:00 PM
3

Yeah I view it as a checklist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 06:57 PM
3

They usually do flip the genders around, I'm surprised they didn't, I've seen this YouTube channel before. I'm mostly unbothered by it. I'm not bothered by men finding women more or less attractive than other women. I actually find the differences between how men and women establish what's most attractive to be pretty interesting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 06:21 PM
12

Well Covid makes this the closest thing to going to the movies. It's effort at least. Right now dating options seem non existent where I live.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 07:59 AM
1

Yess
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 07:24 PM
46

You deserve a lot better than that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 06:58 PM
9

For me, I wouldn't say it's trashy, but, to feel so strongly about it to show case it on how you present yourself... It just seems not normal? If a friend were going to wear that out, my instinct would be, well, hey girl that might not be well received, do you want to talk about this? I mean sure, don't pour your time and effort into a man who won't appreciate it and isn't sticking around. I very much agree with the sentiment, and the way these comments have paraphrased I find hilarious and true…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 06:42 PM
43

So I've never recieved a physical paper from my doctor when I got tested. They just tell me that the results take a few weeks and they'll call if there's anything positive ASAP but otherwise they'll take their time to reach out if it's negative. Planned Parenthood. So you straight up ask hey I want papers to prove to sexual partners that I'm sure free? I've tested three times in my life, after the relationship ended with each old partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 07:20 AM
1

Thanks I'll look into it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 06:30 PM
18

Men don't get married because they can't afford it. They know it's their responsibility to provide for a family and demonstrate that ability while dating. I sympathize with the fact that older generations had it easier financially.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 05:46 PM
63

This is what I love most about the area I live in now. I have never been ogled so little. I feel safer than at any other place I've lived. It's a mini China Town spanning a block or two. Lots of older Asian men that seem really respectful, I even see them picking up litter sometimes. I've been where you are and it sucks. And no area is immune because men can go anywhere. But I just really appreciate my small pocket.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 05:15 PM
4

I live in Canada. I can't even have pepper spray here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 05:08 PM
2

I liked the part where he had a mask too haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 04:39 PM
2

Do what you feel most comfortable with here. There's no right answer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 04:37 PM
2

I like this meme format.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 07:31 AM
2

Please message or comment if you know Canadian resources. I almost only ever see American. This website can help you see what social media they have if you already know some of their existing emails or usernames. https://usersearch.org/index.php I think having a comprehensive list of available online tools to help with pseudo background checks could be something great to put into the handbook btw.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 02:12 PM
2

I think online appearance is something to be really cautious of. What if someone screenshots that and sends it to an employer? You're not going to fix anyone in a Facebook comments battle; you'll just look bitter. I'm not saying the contents are wrong, I agree that most men are trash, but where I say that... I think it's smart to be selective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 02:10 PM
6

I need to actually like the person. I've had sex with a FWB once and I was waiting for it to be over. Not for me, never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 01:52 PM
3

I would never say men are trash on my Facebook. I understand that the vast majority of men are not actually suitable for relationships. But saying that publicly is cringey AF. It makes you look hateful and sexist; within FDS it's understood already that we've seen the realities of men and how frequently they disappoint. Others do not have that context and it's going to set you up to look like a crazy person. Some people have had nicer lives; they've had good husbands and fathers and they will ta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 01:43 PM
349

Ehhh. I still think it has value. And I think it's the small examples that matter. If you asked your boyfriend to clean something and he puts it off, ignores you, makes excuses, and then you see a clip of what a functional relationship is, that can help you internalize that your standards should be higher. It's also just a green flag - it's not saying this man is 100% FDS approved - just, in this thing, he's acting as he should, and if your man acts less than this, that's something to think abou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 03:39 AM
63

My grandfather built my grandmother a house. My dad bought my mom a house. I'm supposed to split rent?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 10:33 PM
1

I don't think it's sex work what she's doing, it's more like ego inflation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 08:19 PM
14

I'm thinking it's not always to be picked, but to grow a following of LVM on social media. If you pander to men that's an audience and it can make $. Not that I agree, I just think ... It's quite possible she's being smarter than she seems haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 02:51 PM
9

I don't mind at all, but I'm not going first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 02:31 PM
25

I feel like most people don't have space on their lives for me so I end up caring more and putting in more effort than they do. Friendships end when I test how long it takes for the other person to initiate for once and then we never text each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 01:16 PM
40

I wish I could meet other women who cared about making friends. Most dedicate way too much time to their partners to have space for friends and that kind of suchs for me. I do feel like other women treat friendships with me very much as "side projects". I don't know what new thing you're thinking of (ew to church for me), but if we settle in something please send me a memo 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 04:51 AM
12

I agree to an extent. I think the importance of romantic relationships isn't necessarily socially ingrained; romantic love and sex are literally what keep the species going, and I don't believe evolution had a plan. People who were highly motivated to find romantic love were just more likely to reproduce than people who didn't value romantic relationships at all. I think it's totally natural to feel the need to have a romantic partner. I don't think that that yearning would disappear if I "had m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 04:46 AM
1

True true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 11:26 PM
28

Aw that makes me feel less bad for thinking of my ex sometimes. Yes I miss him, but don't forget.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 08:53 PM
2

My conclusion is that I'm unlikely to find someone who meets my standards. Therefore, I'm not interested in putting any effort into dating. Statistically, less than 0.1% of men meet my standards. If the chances of being successful in a career were 0.1%, like acting or a singer, I wouldn't bother with that career. So I feel like I don't want to bother with men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 01:23 PM
-1

Yeah I've addressed the correlation thing in several responses and the original post already 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 01:15 PM
1

No haha. Does it pay well? XD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 01:13 PM
2

I think you misunderstood. I'd need to meet 3 men PER DAY for a whole year just to meet ONE that for the requirements. I don't even met 1 new man per day...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 05:35 AM
6

I'm not sold on it either. I've never done it, just heard about it. If could prove he's willing to cheat but it wouldn't prove he he would never cheat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 05:31 AM
5

Look at it this way: If I met 3 men everyday for the rest of my life, only 1 of them per year would meet my standards. And whether or not he is HVM isn't even considered in that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 04:51 AM
1

You're not wrong, but the overlap will not be substantial enough to significantly overcome: being generous in rounding deal breakers I can't find statistics for, like "has a nice face" potential inverse correlations. It's possible that, for example, atheists are more likely to be overweight. the fact that none of these standards vet for HVM. The reality is that not wanting kids and wanting someone non-religious is a huge damper on my selection process. The requirement of wanting an atheist who d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 04:49 AM
1

You're absolutely right, which is why every requirement I had was rounded in such a way to favour an increase in my dating pool. Eg broadly, 30% of people are nonreligions vs 8% of people being atheist, when what I actually want is someone who self identifies as an atheist. Same for fitness - I only included people with normal body weights vs those who were actually athletic. And stats can't even measure things like "Is he funny?" "Is he HVM?" "Is he okay with dogs because that's a deal breaker …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 02:14 AM
2

Another comment here makes this point too, using the example of higher percent liberals fitting into younger age ranges. With this many variables it really could be much higher than 1% or much lower. You're absolutely right. I'm not a mathematician. This way of calculating it is VERY basic and prone to error. However: I did try to compensate for inaccuracies by rounding large numbers up in favour of widening my dating pool Correlations (like younger people are more liberal) may increase my datin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 02:04 AM
3

You're not off base, not at all, I think you're thinking similarly. I'm not saying I'll always be single, but, given how my requirements narrow down my dating pool substantially, I don't think it's worth even dedicating effort into dating (for me personally). The odds of finding a man that (1) meets all my requirements listed here and (2) is HVM... we're looking at such a small number of men. Compare the likelihood of meeting someone that's right to the constant effort put in to appear attractiv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 01:49 AM
1

I am actually bi lol. However, I've never had a relationship with a woman and I find myself in the same position as a lot of lesbian/bi women - you assume most women you meet are straight and treat them as friends rather than romantic partners. This, combined with the fact that women don't initiate most of the time, creates a stalemate and ultimately a barrier to forming romantic relationships with other women. Many women on this subreddit have agreed with me on this, so I know I'm not alone in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 01:30 AM
-2

It is the opposite of abundance mentality, but it's also just true. For women who want kids and don't have requirements for politics/religion, they have plenty of more options. But I can't ignore what my standards are or the reality of the men who meet those requirements. Regarding the 8% atheist - online I think, atheists in the past decade have been a bit of a vocal minority and are probably over-represented. That said, 30% of Canadians are non-religious, so your intuition about people being l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 01:26 AM
18

True, but there are other considerations that I didn't include, I just included the standards that meant the most to me. But of course I have others. say there are 370k people Canada wide that fit that description. That number includes men AND women. That's 185k men. We'll round up to 200k men across Canada to be generous. What percentage of the 200k are within the age range that I'd date? Let's say +/-5 years. A quick google search indicates that under 20% of the population fits that descriptio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 01:16 AM
6

For purely romantic and vain reasons, I don't want to manufacture love like that. Through apps, or speed dating, match making etc. If I meet someone, I want our story to be organic. Not that there is anything wrong with meeting through those ways, it's just not the story of a relationship that I want for myself. I'm also not motivated enough to find a partner that I'd pay money to do it. I feel like if I wanted kids, then I would participate in ways to try to meet romantic partners because my 20…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 12:54 AM
10

I don't think I'd do this in a relationship where I suspected him of cheating. In that case, trust is not there, and I'd break up with him anyway because that's an unpleasant way to live in a relationship. I would consider doing this in a relationship where I DID trust him. Love can cloud judgement - this is an objective way to test his willingness to seize opportunities to cheat. If he rejects this actor, then I've reaffirmed that my trust is well placed. If he texts her, I know that I've place…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 12:49 AM
18

One idea I've toyed with is a paid actor to test whether a man will cheat. They're called honeytraps, and sometimes some sketchier PIs will do this. Basically they set up a scenario where it's reasonable to conclude that a man will cheat or has the intention to do so. For example, plan a date, and text him close to the time that you will be late. Have a paid actor flirt with him and give him her number. That number connects to a second cell phone of yours, not hers. If he texts or calls that num…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 12:36 AM
4

That's a fair point, but if it were easy to filter out liars I don't think there'd be any left. I try not blame women for being manipulated, I think a lot of us have been there at one point and it's easy to look back with hindsight with the perspective we have now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 11:58 PM
7

I know what you’re talking about tho, I’ve read enough Reddit posts that were like “I thought she’d change her mind once we were at that point and I could talk her into it”. yeah that's exactly what I mean
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 11:45 PM
16

How do you balance telling them you don't want kids, with making sure they won't lie to you about not wanting kids? I'm paranoid that a man might just agree with me so I don't dump him, but if things progress he'll change his mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 11:11 PM
14

Damn that was pure comedy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 11:06 PM
44

My dad had 50% custody on paper but never exercised it. My mom felt it was important for us to have a relationship with our Father and was very clear that she would never get in the way of it. He tried for 2 months and then didn't speak to my siblings or myself for 5 years. My brother was hit the hardest by that. I barely cared because I knew my dad was a dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 02:41 PM
5

If I block my number, it's safer to call rather them. That way they don't know my number but I still get to find if there are any obvious incompatibilities before giving my number out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 12:45 PM
2

Why would any woman look up glory hole? Too bad porn doesn't actually cater to women, otherwise you'd see more realistic things like "romance" "guy with 6 pack" "strong and tall". If I'm going to be shallow and objectify someone that search does not begin with the word glory hole lmfao. I don't believe this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 09:58 AM
-5

Idk. Most people I know, men included, have called people assholes for leading others on or dating multiple people at once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 09:14 PM
97

I'm speechless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:48 PM
116

I've never had a man do that, but I've had my mother do it. I confided in my mother that I've had a tough time making friends as an adult. I chose the wrong people then had to abandon friendships. When we got into a fight she was like, "And this is why you don't have any friends!!!" I've never been so hurt by anyone in my life. Our argument was unrelated to that, she just said it to hurt me. And I had valid reasons to abandon friendships, ranging from bring yelled at, to being used for money, to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:44 PM
9

I agree that the view you described is toxic. But I don't think most men actively think like that - seems more like hardcore red pill ideology than a mainstream view or tactic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:34 PM
7

No. I don't like telling people this, but have you read the handbook at all???? Assume he will pay, but he prepared for the possibility that he won't. Don't mention payment. If he asks you to pay, just pay, but don't see him again. If you feel you can't afford the place you're going to because it's insanely expensive, my strategy would be to only then bring up the issue of payment. This is not a very common occurrence. Most men expect to pay for you; it's literally a scam to dine and dash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 06:05 PM
6

I hate that song.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 06:00 PM
13

I know what you're asking. "How should a HVM react to you paying?" If you insist on paying, I don't think high value men would go against your wishes. It's rude to force something against someone's insistence. However, and this is important: LVM won't object to you paying either. So you can't seperate a HVMs and a LVMs actions from each other by volunteering to pay. Expecting him to pay gives you an easy way to identify a LVM - if he asks or expects you to pay, he's shown he doesn't care enough …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 05:05 PM
7

The way I see it is this: Looking at who pays is a way to weed out men who are cheap or who don't value you. Why would you go Dutch and pass up on an opportunity to filter out men who don't deserve you? Just because a man pays does not make him HVM. But many LVM will not pay for you. Volunteering to pay doesn't allow you to filter out men who are definitely LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 04:54 PM
10

I don't think I've ever said something so cathartic. I don't know how many people will read this but OP thanks for posting because it hit a nerve with me even though it's the other direction of what you were talking about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 04:45 PM
8

First question: yes. I would come up with an excuse and leave. Don't plan to take me out if the fact that I'm not going to split it leads you to taking me elsewhere. The correct response from a HVM is "Don't worry, it's my treat" or something similar. You want a man who is motivated to impress you. You want him to be invested in you enough that he won't chance $50 spoiling his chances of impressing you. If a man assumes you will pay that's low value. In a situation where a man encounters a woman…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 04:39 PM
29

For a really really really long time I actually held onto a similar thought. That, like, even though my ex and I didn't work out, that, we were together for so long, that if anything critical happened we'd still be there for each other (even though we no longer talk). I had this fantasy, of, of this person who I know loved me, being there for me in a time of need even though we had reason to not be together. I told myself, yes, we're done forever and no longer speak... But, if the world were to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 04:21 PM
8

If the place was ever more expensive than I felt I could reasonably afford, I would discretely text them and say that this place was out of my price range and I would be happy to go somewhere else. So we either go somewhere else (which, I think is kinda LVM, don't take me somewhere if you expect me to pay half), or he agrees in writing (text) to pay. If there's a non response I wouldn't order and just leave. If you suspect this could happen on a date (probably over ordering alcohol or something)…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 03:59 PM
9

For me the limit would be kids. Divorces, especially multi, are reason to be suspicious but I'm willing to take that on a case by case basis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 05:25 AM
21

This was so confusing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 05:10 PM
45

Oh thanks for interpreting. That example makes a lot of sense
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 05:07 PM
13

Lool it's just the existing meme template =P
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 08:34 PM
1

Inspired by one of your lovely comments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 06:16 PM
52

Inspired by one of your lovely comments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 06:11 PM
28

Damn with that car comment. Literally no one my age in my broader social circle has a car that they paid for. They either don't have cars or their parents bought it for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 07:29 AM
60

My first kiss, the boy asked if he could kiss me. That's still initiating. It was cute as hell and really special. The only reason not to ask at any stage is because you're afraid of hearing no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 07:26 AM
12

Even if this is true, so what? Just because you want something doesn't make it ok, people aren't entitled to accommodate this for you in relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 03:40 PM
152

"My girlfriend understands that she's so much less attractive compared to the women I look at, that it wouldn't even be fair for me to compare her to them, and that's what makes this ok."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 12:33 PM
22

That's so horrible. I've seen you post a lot and I've never seen you refer to that happening to you. I'm sorry, and I hate you have to be reminded of it because even more men are shitty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 04:31 AM
3

I didn't read the details of this post - I usually find it too frustrating. That said, it's a tragedy on its own how often stuff like this happens. First, the sexual assaults and then people who are supposed to help you bring entirely incapable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 07:43 AM
1

I can't know whether any celebrities were high value, I can only guess. One example of a man I know who is high value is a friend of the family. He had a typical 1950s arrangement with his wife. He provided, she stayed at home with the kids. She worked part time jobs when she was up for it, but was primarily involved in being the kids primary caretaker and being that mom that went above at school like PTA stuff. He was deeply involved in the kids lives; they'd both take them to soccer practice a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 01:19 AM
51

I agree. What I wonder is this. Is the fact that a man is trying to date, in and of itself, a sign that he is not HVM? Dating right now carries inherent risks that didn't exist before. it shows he isn't concerned with his health, or yours it shows that broadly he may not care about the health of others or respect advice from officials. in my area, ways to date are limited - most restaurants and fun activities are closed. So if he's asking you on a date, most of them will involve a choice between…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 01:05 AM
6

Simple: I tried FWB with someone I didn't actually like or see a future with. And then I developed feelings for him. And that grossed me out. TLDR: I don't think I can have sex and not develop feelings for someone. It's too intimate and I feel connected in a special way. I think a lot of people are like this. And so, I have to be picky with who I have sex with. Probably someone I already love, or, someone who I would be comfortable falling in love with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 01:38 PM
33

It's not just that. Imagine you work in psychology and you ask for funding to research porn. A lot of people won't want that attached to their name professionally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 09:03 AM
5

I don't know that wanting closure is any different from regret. In my personal experience it's the same emotion. I don't think closure is necessary - real closure would be apologies where they are due, and even if you think you're owed an apology or a better ending, the person who wronged you has no obligation to make you feel better, and they probably won't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 10:48 PM
9

I would not be surprised.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 10:44 PM
22

To be honest I feel like that gets posted every other week for karma at this point. They're not wrong, but I'm suspicious of 2X because it's got a lot of men whose intentions in not quite sure of a lot of the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 05:53 PM
20

Yeah but he won't know that, will he? 🤭🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 03:19 PM
116

He doesn't care about her. She's there to entertain him, maybe even to make him look more desirable while streaming. What does she get out of that? Attitude. The fucking audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 03:17 PM
50

Um. Yes? Are you okay dating a liar? There are ok reasons to be at a casino that don't necessarily involve a gambling addiction. Being generous and assuming you're not seeing an addict, there's still very much the problem that he directly lied to your face. How is that ok?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 03:13 PM
9

I honestly rarely hear of people referring to oral sex for women IRL in public, but the couple of times I have, it was pretty positive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 03:12 PM
3

Jeez was he blind?? Sorry but that's straight up stupid of him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 01:03 PM
8

Lol pincess mentality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 11:11 AM
5

I am super concerned with my face being online. I was even rejected from joining the discord because of it. Thank you so much for sharing this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 11:10 AM
4

So about how many men rape. How many men rape? Most stats I've seen focus on women. Is it like 1% of men or 10%? If anyone knows I'd be interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 10:45 AM
4

There's no way to stop someone from cheating on you. Honestly? It could have been that he genuinely intended to be loyal, but he thought more with his penis than brain when the opportunity arose. Maybe you weren't played; maybe he was just weaker than he thought and promised a loyalty to you that he couldn't deliver. If he was intentionally deceptive, I don't think there's anything you can do about that. In fact, you may even just get lucky in discovering he cheated at all. The best things to do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 10:34 AM
6

I'm surprised "maintaining an erection is a lot harder - and it will be softer." Wasn't on there
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 10:24 AM
4

1000% my reaction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 10:22 AM
15

This looks like a desperate attempt to get a woman, but thinking of it from his own perspective. "My ideal relationship is where she's monogamous and I'm not. That must be what women want to, and because I'm unsuccessful in attracting women at all, I'll let them off the hook with monogamy to broaden the number of people who will pick me. I would say yes to this, so obviously women will!!" That or a fetish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 10:20 AM
7

F27, happy to chat. If you're feeling lonely one day, feel free to message =]
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 10:05 AM
3

Man it's so hard to stop worrying about it. But you're right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 09:53 AM
3

I believe men can't stop being attracted to other women. I'm attracted to other people regardless if my relationship status. But porn isn't just "being attracted" to someone. I sympathize with her assumption that all men do it. Because, well, most men do. That doesn't make it ok or acceptable. Things aren't ok just because a majority of people do them. But like... Follow that line of logic, and you come to disturbing conclusions. If he watches porn, what kind of porn is ok? Is it ok to pay for p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 09:50 AM
17

Yeah honestly. No. This just makes me angry for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 09:30 AM
1

Omg DKM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 04:51 AM
6

Yeah. I've passively dropped that I'm single, and I answer his texts. It takes will power, but I won't do more than that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 04:50 AM
16

One way to view the series is that it was healthier for all the side characters to cut BoJack out of their lives. He's not a good guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 01:05 AM
1

Glad she kicked him out though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 11:54 PM
2

If you've asked him and he's refused, I would break it off. If you haven't asked for him to do what you want, well, I guess there is the possibility he could get better, but the fact that he hasn't already cared enough to do it by now isn't a good sign.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 11:42 PM
13

It took me watching 6 seasons of BoJack horseman to not feel guilty about parting with people. And then FDS was the final kick in the pants. It's like, I got the confidence to be selfish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 11:37 PM
2

Nothing, if leadership is good. I've met good male and female leaders. The joke is that he's mansplaining feminism basically.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 11:34 PM
3

I don't believe this XD This is straight up satire lmfao, it has to be 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 09:42 PM
-9

So the meme is saying that the wife is prettier, technically. The format of the meme is that the girl on the right has a better shaped ass. And the girl on the left is thus the symbol of whatever is less attractive. So the meme is comparing two things and putting the better thing on the right. But yeah, this is a dumb way to communicate you think someone is pretty or your preference. There are a million other ways to do it that don't involve other women's asses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 09:40 PM
7

Haha. Boom. Don't chase. I have to come here once in a while to hear this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 09:34 PM
7

Well, I'm a believer in this quote from BoJack Horseman: I don't think I believe in deep down. I kinda think that all you are is just the things that you do. I don't see a difference between someone who is and acts high value. If his actions are consistently high value, that's good enough for me. Also, I am not sure I agree with the fact that prettier men are more likely to be disloyal or want variety compared to ugly men. I also don't think uglier men treat women any better either. I think, whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 09:32 PM
21

I don't think it's pointless. For me, it was to understand how to avoid it happening again. Was there anything in particular that may have caused it? If there was, then I could reject all men going forward with that specific attribute to better protect myself. I think there are "soft" answers to this question. Like, men with fragile egos; I think an ex who cheated so because he felt more successful with someone else compared to me. Had he been more secure in himself, I don't think he would have …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 09:08 PM
4

Yeah me too. I think porn is too common. So for me, I've decided that when a guy asks to be exclusive, it'll be something I talk to him about. In a conversation about what fidelity and exclusivity means to each other, porn and what's the equivalent of soft porn like with twitch streamers and Instagram models, is not ok with me; I'm not going to stop you from watching it, but I won't be in a relationship with a guy watching the stuff. There are some men I know for a fact who only watch once or tw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 11:36 PM
25

Damn and they have the audacity to end this with "I'm in shape, I'm round". Your Honor, I'd like to submit this as article 1482 of evidence pointing to the fact that ugly men do not treat women better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 11:08 PM
6

So, I can't orgasm. Not with partners, not with myself, not with the craziest sex toys. I love sex and have had a high libido all my life. I've had 2 partners that were willing to try everything and anything I wanted along with for as long as I wanted and nothing. Oral, fingering, penetration. I've had sex whether I felt very comfortable And loved and sex that was just lust. Nothing can make me orgasm. I've never experienced this. I talked to my doctor and she did some blood work, did a pap, and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 11:00 PM
1

I find it odd to show case in a dating profile, but I shop at Walmart because they price match everything and still have good quality produce. Maybe it's different in Canada, but I find shopping at a Walmart is very normal especially if you live in a subburb. I've literally never heard someone snub Walmart outside of Reddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 07:50 PM
8

Yep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 07:39 PM
26

I sometimes doubt men like this exist. Thanks for sharing and I hope you're well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 07:28 PM
10

The list of men with jobs you can't date is soooo long. army (abuse/violence) police (abuse/violence) firefighters (arrogance) doctors (arrogance+authority issues) lawyers (arrogance+authority issues) finance (douches+fuckbois) grade school teachers (suspicious career choice) gamers (addicts) chefs (authority issues) and now people in IT because they can hack your shit. I'm not saying that any of these things are wrong, but, that's a long list and I'm sure it's not even comprehensive for what I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 12:50 AM
2

Idk just someone hot and famous. What's wrong with Johnny Depp? I don't keep up with a lot of celebrity Gossip but Johnny Depp was a favorite of mine when I was younger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 12:02 AM
1

Exactly you get it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 12:01 AM
3

Again, easier to say when you have literally no one. I'm happy for people who get out of toxic relationships. But they doesn't mean isolation is ok or easy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 11:54 PM
2

Tbh I don't want to work at a food bank. Just because of Covid. There are so many cases.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 11:52 PM
1

I can't join the discord unfortunately 😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 11:52 PM
47

I'm glad she was cleared by a doctor. But why did he put her up to that? It seems like she enjoys running and was responsible about it anyway but idk this feels so weird.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 10:04 PM
10

These dates are more expensive than you realize. $50 for the tickets, $20-30 for drinks popcorn and snacks, plus dinner if you get it before. If you need to rent the truck that's even more expensive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 09:51 PM
19

I think it's because men don't actually want to get better. It's laziness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:41 AM
75

Easier said than done when you have literally no one. I don't even mean romantically, I'd be thrilled with a friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 06:25 PM
4

I have goals and hobbies but no one to share them with. I'm lonely and there's no fixing that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 09:39 AM
8

In my city the pet shelter is actually competitive to get into. You need at least 6 months volunteer experience and experience with animals. I think they get a lot of interest and a lot of flakes. I don't think I'd want to work at a food bank. Homeless people make me uncomfortable, as bad as that is. Just experience with harassment and stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 09:38 AM
7

I got banned from Bumble BFF because I put a pokemon as my display picture. I just wanted to check out how it worked first before deciding to do it in earnest. But people reported my account and now my numbers blocked from using the service.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 09:36 AM
26

Finally, let's not forget that our biggest concern with BDSM is that you shouldn't want to hurt someone you love. A man who beats and chokes you for sexual gratification isn't someone you want to be with. Why would that change because a woman does the beating and choking? This is what did it for me. To this day, I like being submissive. I enjoy pain and being bossed around. I wouldn't choose to be like this, but it's just what turns me on. It's not the only thing, but I like it. I never got into…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 04:09 AM
1

Suuuuch a good comparison.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 07:46 PM
26

This is one of those questions that's like "What are the winning lottery numbers?" If there were a definite answer, everyone would already know because it's a question every.woman would want answered. I don't think there's a place. Not in church, not in school, not on golf clubs or bars or apps or parks. There's no one place where the good men go. My strategy instead is to find where attractive men go. That includes sporting activities and running events for me. At least I know they're attractiv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 07:37 PM
4

"If Johnny Depp isn't available I don't see the point." Replace Johnny Depp with the attractive actor of your choosing. It's maybe not the best way, but it conveys that your standards are high without going on a lecture - it's a little funny in a flippant way so you don't seem uptight about the question. It mostly conveys that your goal isn't to settle with an average man. If you really want to deflect the question, choose an obscure famous person instead of Johnny Depp. They'll probably ask "Wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 07:15 PM
8

Omg I love this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 01:45 AM
2

I literally did reach out in this post. I identified unhealthy behaviors, explained why I thought they were happening, realize that this is messed up and needs to be corrected. I explained why I can't remove the option - I'm lonely and these people are my only consistent people I see. One person suggested substituting this with other hobbies, and it's a helpful partial solution that can help me to cut back. But the rest of this has been riddled with judgement. I don't feel like anyone even belie…
/r/askFDS02/10/20 12:08 AM
0

I mean, what community? It's posts on the internet. It's memes and doses of sympathy. Do you really feel connected to anyone here? It's pseudo interaction at best. I haven't tried the discord, though I've tried to find the link before. It might be a good suggestion but I don't think anyone would suggest that it's a substitute for genuine human interaction.
/r/askFDS01/10/20 11:12 PM
0

Not really. I've basically been told just stop. I don't disagree that it would be healthier and I agree that I shouldn't be doing it. Tbh I feel like people responding either don't understand me when I say I'm lonely or think it doesn't matter. It's not a justification, but I feel less lonely and more connected as I do it. The source of the issue is the loneliness - pre Covid I still had access and it never occurred to me to do this.
/r/askFDS01/10/20 11:09 PM
2

He definitely does not know I'm snooping. He doesn't know. I obviously don't want to reveal stuff in his search history more than I already have. But the vast majority of it is completely mundane things from years ago. 95% of it is games and sports related. If this were a set up, it was planned since he was 16, over 7 years before we had even met. He knew I was with my ex. I only told him we broke up 2 months ago, I intentionally dropped it in a conversation. I am assuming nothing has escalated …
/r/askFDS01/10/20 07:20 PM
1

Yeah. I'm friends with the group kind of outside of this. We've done activities together pre Covid, but this is the main thing we have in common. As we do the activity we talk about lots of stuff and we are friends. But the majority of the time we dedicate to each other is definitely through "playing". Exciting the group or not playing with them does not seem like a valid option because then I'd be really lonely.
/r/askFDS01/10/20 04:00 PM
1

He's not in a relationship as far as I can tell. He appears to be a single guy on Tinder, and while I'm not a fan of that, it's not like he's supposed to be loyal to me or someone.
/r/askFDS01/10/20 03:52 PM
1

Covid
/r/askFDS01/10/20 03:39 PM
1

It is weird. Friends... I literally have 2 outside of this group. One comes to see me once a week. The other is a racist, and as much as I try to push her away, I'm so lonely I just let her back in. My family was a toxic situation. I always go back bit right now I'm very hurt so I really just can't.
/r/askFDS01/10/20 11:45 AM
1

I know stopping is the right thing to do, and I want to, but I need a strategy that is more than just will power. I cannot tell him to change his password. It lets me connect to his gamer account thing, which is how we help each other in the game. It would be the equivalent of a soccer player just saying "Trust me, I need to stop kicking the ball". And the reason I can't let this team down is because they are literally the only people I talk to on some days. Covid is so so bad here. My friends a…
/r/askFDS01/10/20 11:28 AM
3

Yeah but Covid is hitting me hard. I want dogs and then men can audition for time with me. If they don't want to I'll just pay more attention to my dog.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 10:00 AM
9

There needs to be a way to charge people to speak with you like this. That would be awesome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 09:57 AM
54

My way navigating this: No living together until we're engaged. If he asks me to pay rent while we're engaged that's a straight up no. We're getting married soon, so our finances will essentially be combined. There's no difference to him paying unless he doesn't actually intend on marrying me. Don't move in with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 06:49 PM
11

Same. I don't want my love story to be that an algorithm matched us together and we were like ok cool. I'm not saying there aren't successes. I just don't want it for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 06:38 PM
27

It's a reality that some people would be happier single than coupled with many of the men that bring little value to your life. But it's not a matter of "I'm not supposed to date", exactly. Don't think of yourself as unlovable just because you're standards are high. Also, don't feel pressured to date if it's not what you want to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 05:32 PM
7

That was an interesting read. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 05:25 PM
13

You're so pragmatic lol! Good for you. I could see this being discouraging for a lot of women but I'm glad you're strong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 05:22 PM
4

I'm not black, but it this obstacle would really suck. I have racial preferences in dating as well, but it's far more specific than just color of skin. I guess the only thing I can say is that we should all only be with someone who is attracted to us. The men who aren't attracted to us - for any reason - are better off ignored because we deserve better. I'm glad it hasn't lowered your self esteem and I hope other black women in your position feel the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 05:19 PM
6

Lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 05:10 PM
8

That perfect punchline of his face at the end. Woow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 05:10 PM
6

Omg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 05:08 PM
2

Humans are animals btw
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 04:51 PM
86

Even if this were true, so fucking what? What's the implication? That you can rape women? That you can just assume women are into violence so it's fair game to be aggressive? Like really. So fucking what even if it's true?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 11:08 AM
2

I don't really know what to say. I'm not interested in trying to say anyone is wrong, but what I've said, while perhaps a little simplistic, was literally taught in a basic second year bio course and it generally pertains to a lot of mammals because the male provides sperm which is easily produced. Men shot gunning their seed is not a controversial sexual/reproductive strategy in humans or other animals. It's not THE ONLY strategy but it's definitely a strategy. It's called the Coolidge effect, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 09:11 AM
4

That argument she's making is compatible with mine. Men like loyalty from you so if they stay the know is theirs (we didn't evolve with paternity tests), but just because they may "mateguard" or expect monogamy from women doesn't mean they're naturally inclined to be monogamous for themselves. I don't see that position or mine as being in opposition. None of this is to say I think men are incompatible of monogamy or that I don't expect monogamy. I absolutely expect monogamy, I've left guys that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 06:01 AM
7

It transcends mammals for the most part though. To be clear, I don't think it's an excuse to act a certain way for men, I just think it's got explanatory power, and while I think it exists, I don't exists independent from social realities either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 02:45 AM
5

Good for you! That's the right attitude
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 12:38 AM
46

He wasn't looking for a relationship, he was looking for free porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 08:38 PM
1

It can help to process and avoid the same in the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 11:37 AM
1

You're right. That's a bad reaction. You deserve better. You deserve to kick him out of your life since he was sooooo selfish. This is not a man that will really improve your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 11:12 AM
22

What a gross excuse for a person. I'm sorry you dealt with that. Please try to internalize that you don't have to be polite. When someone does that to you, you can yell. You can scream. You can say nothing and walk away. You are ENTITLED to do this. It's not just allowed, it's your right to exercise however you see fit. I think there's a lot of pressure for women to stay docile, but in fact, in the situation, be deserved anything you could possibly throw at him - anger, yelling, asking someone e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 10:58 AM
1

I love with vegan friends that they always can suggest a place though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 08:19 AM
10

I probably would have unmatched right after that part
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 08:16 AM
19

I did not realize how many men actually just want a maid to fuck before joining this subreddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 06:04 AM
5

Honestly I pretend something on my phone caught my attention and that I can't walk and text at the same time. Basically stop right where I am, paying no attention to them. It forces them to either be a jerk and move into you, or move around. Most of the time I use this when people play "king of the side walk" with me. I've never had someone walk into me. I think it's just human nature to move out of the way of things that are bigger than you. So if everyone else gets out of their way, they just …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 06:01 AM
4

Nope. I'm adorable AF. I hope you develop the mindset that he's lucky to have you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 08:29 PM
1

Damn lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 08:19 PM
5

So this kind of happened with me and the one guy I had Fwb with. We lasted about a month and he was terrible at sex, he actually yelled at me and said mean things. I'm glad it only lasted a month. There was nothing really to dissolve so the exact day it was over is unclear. But yeah. He was not nice to me and I stayed longer than I should have because he accused me of being sensitive and overreacting sometimes. Given that he was a perfect gentleman before we had sex, I thought... Okay maybe he's…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 09:47 PM
1

I've never heard that, interesting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 09:00 PM
3

I had a deal with my ex that I liked. If he wanted me to take his last name then the proposal would have to be a grand gesture, but one that was private and that said that he knew me, and we'd have to have the typical wedding/honey moon. If he wanted traditional, that's tradition. He happily agreed. We didn't get married, but, all the same, I like that arrangement. If I actually liked my last name I might feel differently. My last name is ethnic, but I don't identify with the culture it puts me …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 10:09 AM
2

What?? Why?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 10:01 AM
2

All HVM want is gratitude anyway. They do things to make you happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 10:00 AM
112

Wooow. That's a fantastic question that highlights that I'm actually afraid of men without even knowing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 09:58 AM
35

Exactly, don't engage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 05:49 AM
56

I see nothing wrong with what these women are doing. He tried to have a threesome with a lesbian. That's what happens. What's disgusting is that he's only unhappy with this because he doesn't get to have sex with this other woman. He feels entitled to have sex with her to be ok with it. It's disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 05:12 AM
10

When someone says stuff like that about themselves, believe them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 08:41 PM
6

Yep. He's a man child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 05:12 PM
2

I don't give guys blow jobs unless they man scape. Do I want pubic hair in my mouth? No.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 06:40 AM
4

I like smiling, makes me happy. It's one of those things that's that simple for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 06:36 AM
107

Exactly. I have 0 interest in winning this argument. Fine $20. Bye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 05:44 AM
10

This is a person who wants less happiness in the world. What even gets a person to this point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 02:04 AM
3

Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 02:02 AM
9

I doubt this happens. In my case Tinder had a little green dot by his name that said active recently. Not an excuse here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 04:10 PM
12

No I already swiped on the account that was fake, I'm only on Tinder under a fake and not real account. I swiped to keep options open. It's currently 6am. So I can't just tell her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 10:16 AM
179

Spot on. Reminds me of a dude who had nothing going for him. He lives with his parents. Overweight. Ugly. The one thing he had going for him was his job. He had a job paying 120k a year. He wanted someone pretty, educated, working, who would cook for him. He specifically told me he didn't know and had no interest in learning how to cook. And one more requirement: she couldn't be a gold digger. THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE. YOUR MONEY IS THE ONLY GOOD QUALITY YOU HAVE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 04:39 AM
9

Damn this was literally my dad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 04:33 AM
9

Damn that Quasimodo line. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 08:10 PM
12

Lmfao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 05:44 PM
26

We're also not incels lol. That one makes me laugh. The handbook advises waiting months before having sex - realistically most women could get sex whenever they wanted. Meanwhile incels literally - literally in the word itself - are involuntarily celibate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 09:03 AM
3

I love comedy like this 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 02:29 AM
263

It's puzzled me until right this second why men want relationships without calling them relationships. They don't want to have to be loyal. It puts them in a no-lose situation - if they can't find anyone else and they eventually settle for a relationship with you, then they get points for being loyal all along. But if they do find someone else, they have plausible deniability that it wasn't a relationship so they're not a bad guy for sleeping with or entering a relationship with someone else. I'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 02:26 AM
62

I set up a fake dating profile just to see. I'm pretty paranoid about my face being online so I get specifically but a cartoon character there just to finish the profile set up. I wasn't impressed with what I saw. But oh man so many boys from high school! And even the ones that were cute, we're talking about the kids that were slow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 07:06 PM
2

You're right, but that wasn't the only thing we talking about, we talked a lot about dating in general. I think at this point she just saw how much we disagreed on stuff. She described herself as more go with the flow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 06:56 PM
4

I think that meme is so underused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 05:27 PM
22

You shouldn't have kids if you don't want them. Don't let anyone convince you. With marriage I'm less clear. What's your goal with men you let into your life? I've heard some people here say that they want multiple long term relationships with men that never lead to marriage - they just want someone fun for a couple years and then to move on to the next guy. That's an interesting strategy but not one I can relate to wanting. I guess marriage doesn't have to be the goal - but then what's your goa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 05:02 PM
11

7 months is too long. I'd say 1-3 months depending on the situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 04:49 PM
5

I want some marshmallows for smores and some tea! Getting ready for a good campfire story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 06:50 AM
7

Oh for sure
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 06:18 AM
8

☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 04:42 AM
35

Tbh I think she was interested in me. That's why she was asking about those things. We're both bi. I can't lie I liked the attention because Covids been lonely. But I'm not attracted to her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 04:12 AM
50

I feel like the best response is "So what?" High maintenance is almost like a pejorative used to say you have high standards. I won't even argue with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 03:20 AM
27

It wasn't a guy, it was a friend. I did hint that she should expect more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 03:17 AM
131

We were discussing whether you know it's a date. And I said you know if he specifically asks you "Can I take you on a date?" and it's a date like activity. A friend was making the argument that you sometimes feel it's more without it being declared. My responses to her questions were a lot of "So what?"s. Doesn't matter how either of you feel, or what you think. Did he call it a date or not? It's not my job to guess you're interested. We had been talking a lot about dating and relationships and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:51 AM
5

I'd consider my first boyfriend as an adult HV. One flaw was that his car was always a mess. Part of the reason was that he'd give everyone rides to different places - family, friends, me. He was one of the first people in our social group with his own car, and he was generous about helping people with it. Other people's things piled up. His stuff piled up as well. It wasn't horrible but it was obviously less clean than the average car in the back seat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:18 AM
6

I mean she did a lot of terrible stuff too...including stealing the last 2 sperm samples of a man who couldn't have kids... She also cheated, held someone hostage, says RAF abused her when he didn't... She's pretty and she's got high standards but she's also a craaazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:10 AM
13

I'm going on a laundry date this Friday with a friend. I've never used a laundromat before (always had in suite laundry machine) until now. So she's coming with me for moral support as I do something new, were walking around as we wait, and then going for dumplings after.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:04 AM
1

I don't know if men hate women, but I, if I were a bad person and a man obsessed with sex, it would be a really good strategy to abuse and manipulate women to get more sex. It's the laziest way to get sex, and of course it makes you a terrible piece of shit, but provided that you don't care about that, it's a good sexual strategy. If a woman is afraid to leave or reject you, you don't have to put any effort in. Maybe hating women is learned along the way - maybe you can justify to yourself that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:00 AM
2

I don't know I don't even check my DMs on Reddit. It's literally junk mail.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 01:54 AM
12

If your idea of a happy marriage is melding together a prostitute and a maid, then, yes, please, do is a favor and don't ask us out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 01:42 AM
5

To be honest I feel like evoking jealousy in men is almost necessary. When men in my life have been interested but realized I had other options, I feel like I got even more attention. It shouldn't be necessary when you're in a relationship. But I think they need to know you won't wait around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 01:34 AM
19

I don't even care anymore. I totally and completely understand wanting to "win". I've felt that smug satisfaction. And there's value to it! It gives you a little jaunt to your step. But now... I'm just happy to know I got away when I did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 11:58 PM
19

Then don't publicly jerk off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 11:50 PM
11

I think it probably also has to do with the fact that men are probably more involved in directing and producing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 06:49 PM
3

I'm not crying you're crying 🥺
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 06:44 PM
21

I love the show but I hate all the characters. They all eventually have some fatal flaw. But the comedy is still pretty good. The men are average but the women look amazing. The reality is most women won't care but men might be less likely to watch a show with hot guys but no hot women. That's how I explain mismatches like that on TV to myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 06:27 PM
20

20% of women use men for dinner dates. What percentage of men try to use women for sex!?!?! Shut up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 06:18 PM
5

You got this. You're almost done. Keep going.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 06:12 PM
3

I wish I had internalized this far sooner. I just got too tired of accepting apologies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 06:10 PM
5

On its own, I wouldn't care. But when you couple it with other things, I'd get concerned. I agree, trust your gut.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 09:45 AM
4

They don't. No men upvote women who say they like normal sex. That's all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 09:42 AM
8

Honestly? Get off Reddit. Get off twitter. Get off dating apps. While a lot of what's said on here is shitty and true, it also over represents the prevalence of shitty men. There are good honest men. They may be a tad outnumbered, but they exist. This is one example. It's frequently quoted that men leave their cancer diagnosed wives. It's true. It's a fact. Depending on the source, men are something like 5 to 10 times more likely to leave their sick wives than wives are to leave their sick husba…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 09:39 AM
5

I didn't like it at first. It turned out my exes didn't know how to do it. My last ex really knew what he was doing. I personally think the biggest thing is how comfortable he makes you feel. That's my opinion anyway. If some guy doesn't want to go down on you, you feel like a jerk for wanting it. But if he's eager, it's totally different.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 09:30 AM
2

At least my exes pass this bare minimum bar. I have previously thought about "Would he be with me if I got sick". I haven't thought "Would I really want to be here if he got sick?" But it's a good question. It's a different way to ask yourself "Do you really love him?" ... But not just how you feel, not just "Do you lust for him?" Or "Do does your brain get a nice hit of dopamine when he's a passing thought?". I think it's a good way to ask yourself, do you actually care about him enough to sacr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 09:24 AM
2

Damn you just described how I look everyday lol. I should probably care a little more about what I wear but in can't be bothered with make up. I never really learned and even the most basic YouTube videos assume you know so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 09:16 AM
17

I find most of this obviously but I disagree with the settling part on the first pic. If you as a woman HAVE TO avoid being single, then yeah you'll probably settle. But not choosing a guy at all is totally an option as well. Men have more testosterone and that effects so much, from risk taking to balding to mental illness to their strength, to their immune systems to libido. I am bi and personal agree that most women are more consistently beautiful than any random guy. What puzzles me is why me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 05:51 AM
1

The last one made me laugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 05:16 AM
17

I'm in my 20s and I'm feeling this 😅 If you weigh the pros and cons of being in most relationships with men, I think the cons win out for the vast majority. Completely ignore compatibility and romance and attraction. The sheer risk of intimate partner violence is alarming. And then, in general, dating is such a drag. A dozen prince charming undoubtedly exist, but to meet a genuinely good guy you're compatible with could very well involve wading through a lot of garbage first. Is that really wort…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 03:47 AM
12

I learned about FDS when I made a passive comment questioning why OP would ask women on dates when he was poor. He had been going on a rant about he had gone into debt taking women out on dates because women expect it. I got accused of being apart of FDS. So I looked it up and yepppp fits me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 03:40 AM
9

Thanks for the recap!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 03:36 AM
14

The heaviest I've been is 125. I have stretch marks all across my ass. It looks like my ass is a zebra. No man has ever been disappointed to see my ass ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 11:32 PM
23

What an incredible human being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 11:30 PM
18

Lmfao oh man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 11:29 PM
17

I can definitely sympathize with how frustrated and disheartening it is be constantly be let down by men. In my opinion, the easiest way to deal with this is not view men as a requirement in life. I think women are more likely to settle when they want to avoid being single, and that leads to more disappointment. I think if there was a way to ensure we'd get great guys, we'd already know about it. But, I think it's important to highlight FDS isn't about getting a guy or even a HVM. IMO it's more …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 09:16 PM
41

Well, interpreted charitably, I think we good take that comment to mean, prioritize nonromantic relationships with women for companionship. It's what I'm trying to do now and I'm happier with men being things that exist in the world that I don't feel compelled to engage with. It's just easier. Imo less stress. And if an amazing guy falls into my lap one day, I'll deal with that then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 08:02 PM
41

I agree that porn primarily negatively effects the women who participate. And then, far more subtly, it effects women because it creates unrealistic standards around sex. Sex is not just for men, but porn makes it seem that way. It also makes more deviant acts normalized because it can be all men see if they want. Unfortunately a lot of men don't care about how it harms anyone until it harms themselves when they have trouble maintaining erections. It harms men in that way too. For myself, the bi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 06:00 PM
5

I usually walk around with head phones. When I get approached I smile and give someone a thumbs up as if they said good morning. If they try to engage further I say something like I'm declining a sales person. "No thanks I already bought some" "No thanks I'm already registered" So far it's worked. Only one guy chased me but it was to let me know I dropped something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 05:37 PM
1

Woooow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 06:32 AM
66

Yeah but why is the man necessary. I'd rather just walk the dog.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 06:31 AM
11

I love her attitude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 04:57 AM
11

I've met attractive jerks. I've been with attractive gentlemen. I don't think attractiveness has much to do with how they treat you. So you might as well stick to the ones you actually like to look at.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 12:56 AM
3

Honestly no I've never been into "bad boys". I've consistently liked dependable men, who were also muscular and intelligent. It would be nice if they could stop fucking cheating though lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 12:54 AM
1

Oh head all the questions I asked were rhetorical haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 02:32 PM
5

That's a ton of work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 07:30 AM
1

Yep I agree. I just mean, I wish it were actually do able. I feel like online is fairly safe though since you can provide alternative social media (not associated with your real name)
/r/askFDS20/09/20 06:15 AM
8

Yeah honestly I wouldn't either. I'd be a little weirded out but I'd be like... That's none of my business, I don't care to be involved, let him just do my plumbing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 04:06 AM
32

Even if it wasn't cheating, it was porn or something similar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 04:05 AM
3

That's pretty scary. How young is this person to be talking like that? They're going to have some really serious issues growing up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 01:09 AM
5

I forgive work hours and sleeping hours without thinking twice. Otherwise yeah wtf are you doing that you can't answer me relatively soon? What activity takes more than a few hours? Any legitimately good answers are likely good reasons not to be with someone (I'm thinking, kids, girlfriend wife). Most other obligations only take an hour or two or at least give you breaks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 12:50 AM
3

Omfg that's hilarious 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 12:44 AM
120

Lol. In one of my relationships, sushi was the default thing to do. What do you want? Idk what do you want? Idk. Idk either. I guess we're going out for sushi and then going to your place to watch a movie. I can't even imagine dating a guy who refused what just feels standard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 12:42 AM
7

Beards improve ugly faces. He seemed like he was cute! He shouldn't keep a beard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 12:38 AM
5

That would be awesome. I wish there was a local FDS. Like-minded people just to chat with. I don't consider browsing the internet really a community though. It's something I do passively, usually while waiting in lines at the grocery store. I guess I've browsed more frequently with Covid, but... I don't know... You know what I mean? I don't really feel connected to usernames I scarcely recognize, even if I relate to experiences or appreciate advice. It's too segmented. Though, online communities…
/r/askFDS20/09/20 12:35 AM
2

I'm not apart of online communities. I wouldn't know where to start but I'm open to that being a viable solution.
/r/askFDS20/09/20 12:08 AM
9

I'm a student and can't afford a lot to be honest. Eg therapy or a space for a pet. I'm finishing this year though.
/r/askFDS19/09/20 09:41 PM
1

Ew
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 09:34 PM
22

No this is horrible. Can you imagine being with someone who is emotionally unhinged and abusive like this? I'm very ready to take women's side, but if we assume the contents of this post are true, he should absolutely leave this relationship. You don't get to bully someone into staying with you by threatening to hard yourself whether you are a man or woman. As a woman, you should only want to be with men who actually want to be with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 09:33 PM
12

This is Us. Story follows Jack, a family man who sets the standard for his family. He's a pretty average guy with an average job, and he prioritizes his wife and family above all else. Taking place equally in the past and present, it explores how this man influenced his family, both in his life and death. He sets a standard for his sons to measure up to. In the present day, we mostly follow his now 40 year old children and the broader family. There are lots of examples of big romantic gestures i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 09:27 PM
28

On days where you do just want to actually watch Netflix and chill, you don't have to compromise what to put on. How many times did I fall asleep early because some boring anime or sitcom was chosen by an ex? I feel like I have more time to myself and to do what I want. I feel more focused on making myself happy and less concerned with devoting my time to another person. Honestly my exes weren't terrible people but things obviously ended for a reason. So the biggest positive I can give you is, I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 09:20 PM
6

I'd be interested in voice chatting with some people here to be honest. I wouldn't be comfortable showing my face for a while but if admins set it up I'd definitely participate.
/r/askFDS19/09/20 09:05 PM
20

Yeah the only woman I know who says she loves anal is afraid to lose her virginity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 08:54 PM
4

I have no idea what's in my DMs. My directs don't show up on mobile and on the rare occasion I open on desktop it's too much effort to dismiss them. The design on Reddit is actually pretty bad because it takes too many clicks. Too many confirmations to accept or reject a request.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 08:39 PM
34

I feel like if I ended up in this sort of mess I'd just fuck with him by going on dates with other men. My friend Richard is taking me to a new Italian place. See ya later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 08:25 PM
3

Tbh I enjoy bdsm, but men who enjoy hurting you are probably not good ones to keep anyway. The overlap between hvm and those who actively participate in Bdsm stuff is probably 0. So at some point you have to choose. Do you want to be with a nice guy who is great at sex but doesnt want to hit you, or a guy who does want to hit you? Sex can be satisfying without bdsm is it's an easy choice. I wouldn't say it's pick me stuff, I would still enjoy sex like that, but I wouldn't respect a man who wante…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 04:39 PM
1

I don't even believe this is real tbh. This has to be some kind of karma farming thing. It looks like he's providing all the facts about how he's a loser but not trying to actually garner sympathy about why he feels burnt out, which is what I would expect if someone were actually burnt out. I feel like it's just some troll being bored on the internet. And if it's not, well fuck that's really sad that someone could lack so much self awareness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 04:34 PM
22

I can't say I know all the intricacies of their relationship, but Jenna Marbles and Juliane looked super cute together. He would always indulge whatever silly thing she wanted to do. And at one point when fans told her they missed her old boyfriend, she was like, I don't think you guys realize how much of a gentleman Juliane is, I've basically forgotten how to open doors because he does it all the time. As for TV - most of the men in This Is Us. Spoilers. The show is about a family, and in that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 04:28 PM
19

I just have no idea where to start with female friendships. I can't go to usual activities or the gym or anything. And I'm not lying, I literally only have 2 people in my life right now. And one of them I plan to hang out with even less.
/r/askFDS19/09/20 04:11 PM
17

Most of my hobbies are solitary activities. The ones that aren't got canceled with Covid. I take myself out to eat all the time. I am a very independent person and can spend 90% of my time alone and be perfectly happy. But I can't do 100%.
/r/askFDS19/09/20 03:48 PM
3

That's scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 03:30 PM
5

I think I'm prettier after FDS. I care a little more about fashion and make up now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 03:29 PM
3

TopgirlBlockerGymThot Lmfao this is like a shitty horoscope. Welp there was 5 minutes of silliness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 03:27 PM
2

Oh it's way more fun to pick 3 let's see
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 03:24 PM
5

Damn if I had to pick one I'm the gym thot. I exercise, both of my exes were muscular, and both cheated, one with a girl 5 years older. I don't have Instagram though. I don't think they were meatheads just because they had nice bodies though. They were university educated and we talked about politics and philosophy the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 03:21 PM
23

Lmao. Can he count on his fingers and toes? Wow. I've never thought about that. Over the course of 2 relationships I've had sex at least a thousand times (based on averaging number of times in a month and multiplying over years for a rough guess). It never even occurred to me to count. That's why they're incels I guess. They literally don't have sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 03:18 PM
13

It's more about how he prioritized her feelings over his sexual desires. Maybe you didn't see the two other pictures? They go on to describe a mature conversation about how something has changed which gets to the core issue, a surprise evening of dancing (even though he sucks at it) to make her smile and make her feel better in the short term, and a thoughtful present to address the core issue. He uses lack of sex to identify there's something wrong with her emotionally and he prioritizes fixing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 02:50 PM
3

Dislikes include literally everything that isn't tall and muscular. There's no way I could view you sexually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 08:47 PM
6

I'm more simple with my preferences. Tall, muscular. I can't describe what a pretty face is, but I know it when I see it. I don't mind bald guys, but I don't like guys who are balding. Just own it and don't look insecure. I don't mind tattoos, but I'm cautious of the type who get tattoos. In men, they tend to be people who put less thought into things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 08:44 PM
30

The closest thing to this that I've bought was a comic book. It showed that I took time to know his interests and effort to see what he was missing from the collection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 07:28 PM
26

I don't really believe that. I think some cultures treat women more poorly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 02:09 PM
6

Too many spelling mistakes for me to enjoy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 03:38 AM
1

Why would I be interested in contradicting it. Fine you think it's ethical. That doesn't mean I'd want it, but if you identify yourself as a proponent you've given me a reason not to speak to you. Like... Even strategically, if you were being totally selfish, this is really stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 03:24 AM
1

It's not boundaries so much as intentions. I'd be presuming her intentions and I don't want to assume wrong and make one of the only female friendships I have awkward. Like I said in the post, I'm trying to work on them because I've mostly only had guy friends (which don't really count).
/r/askFDS16/09/20 04:28 AM
5

Yeah I wouldn't gamble a picnic date on someone I didn't already trust to put in that much effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 04:26 AM
1

I like this one 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 12:56 AM
3

Does anyone literally want a man they love who treats them well to go and die in a war? I remember that post - like others have said. Men want tradition when it benefits them - they don't want to play the role of provider but expect women to play the role of housekeeper. It's a way of saying "Your responsibility was to provide and protect when it was my responsibility to cook you dinner. Are you sure you actually want that? Because it looks like you want bone of the responsibility and none of th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 12:43 AM
15

It's not our fault if being single looks more appealing than being with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 12:39 AM
1

Thing is, she is generous with other people like this too. So assessing her intentions is hard - I don't want to assign intentions to her and embarrass her or myself.
/r/askFDS16/09/20 12:33 AM
1

That is freaking hilarious
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 02:28 PM
3

Wooow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 02:28 PM
7

I would just say no, I'm not a fan of drinking very much. Which is true for me. Even if it's not true, I think it's a good strategy to lie about it. If saying you don't drink deters him, that means he was likely relying on drinks to get into your pants. And if you drink with someone later on that you click with, then just say it's not safe to drink with people who you don't know well which is entirely true, but you know them better and you now feel comfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 02:18 PM
2

Excellent flair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 02:33 PM
2

I could get 20 seconds in and I couldn't listen. She screams "Daddy".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 02:24 PM
4

I understand having cultural and racial preferences. I just don't trust that any many who verbalizes them isn't thinking about only sex like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 06:48 AM
143

So she has 3 choices. let him bully her into anal sex tolerate him cheating divorce Why are men so sex focused?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 06:47 AM
8

Yep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 12:09 AM
118

But apparently our standards are ridiculously high and we're female incels 😂 This is so sweet and apparently men living up to the expectation of being, I don't know, fucking nice and thoughtful, is too drastic a standard?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 07:38 PM
9

Yep. Once and then never again
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 12:48 PM
21

Yeah I totally agree. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, but WHY a man is a virgin (is he unattractive, insecure?) and what being a virgin might do to you (girl insecurity, more porn, resenting women) are things to look out for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 12:44 PM
16

Maybe they weren't Single and pretending they didn't know you was a way to hide that you'd met in front of friends 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 12:37 PM
7

Lol congratulations to him, he passes one requirement of ten thousand. I hope he keeps going, at least he's bettering his life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 12:30 PM
12

Yeah I don't think you could tell. But if you think this is likely, and you guys are trying for a kid, ask him to go to a fertility clinic. Maybe he actually is infertile, you never know. And if he says he's willing to have a kid but he has had a vasectomy, he will resist going. If he's willing to go (and does) I'd be more willing to bet he's not lying about a vasectomy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 02:26 AM
3

No just going forward =]
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 09:50 PM
12

Hey just a tip - asking for this kind of thing may eventually lead to our subreddit getting removed for brigading. Instead, Google the post to find it. Say for example it says "my husband said I'm not allowed to go out with my friends - is this controlling?" Google the following: site:Reddit.com/r/relationship_advice "my husband said I'm not allowed to go out with my friend" Make sure you include the site: part because that's what limits the search to only Reddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 07:59 PM
1

I lived that movie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 02:43 PM
3

I'm a moon princess
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 04:48 AM
2

I'm not living with men, I have one roommate and it's another woman. But it was just luck of the draw. No, I can't afford an apartment myself, this place is already small and it's all I can afford as a student in one off the top 15 most expensive cities in the country.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 03:05 PM
1

Say for example you rent a condo from the landlord directly, and there are 2 bedrooms. It's up to the landlord to choose the tenants for each bedroom. Whoever your roommate is is just luck, isn't it It's not like I have a house and I'm renting part of it to a tenant - that wouldn't be a roommate, it would be a tenant. I'm still in school so I've only ever rented and don't own property myself anyway. I don't see how I could move into a place and forbid the landlord from renting other units to men…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:04 PM
-1

So like, how would you control whether or not you have a male roommate? Where I live the landlord can't discriminate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:55 PM
1

The red pill is obviously sexist and misogynistic. But if you look at their advice, if you look at what they actually tell men to do, 80% of it is to have better hygiene, make more money, and work out. The remaining 20% is basically being mean to women and targetting insecure women. If it took the red pill for you to take a shower and make career advances then fine, but that's not because of the red pill, you're just attracting more women because you're no longer stinky.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:44 PM
8

Is she okay with her future husband being less involved with his kid if it means his ex gets nothing? This is so weird. You're could you be proud of a man who avoids his responsibility to his kid?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:37 PM
11

This isn't real right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:20 PM
26

This is probably not their reason, but I wouldn't travel with a man I wasn't married to to any country with decent rights for women. If he starts treating you like shit you probably wouldn't have any recourse. Probably none of South America for example, lots of East Asian or middle Eastern places, lots of African countries. I'd do research first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 10:36 AM
93

No unprotected sex until vasectomy imo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 10:32 AM
10

Yeah I'd say I hate some men. Not specific men, more like the idea of some of them. For example: rapists men willing to lie for sex or cheat on women men who have physically abused others men who are openly sexist or predatory or manipulative Is it my fault if a higher percentage of men fit this description and I hate them? Is it my fault for hating shit, or is it their fault for being shit?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 07:02 AM
6

I agree. At the very least it shows a willingness to please your partner. It's effort and that has value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 06:59 AM
12

I'd only date taller guys. But I'm 5"1. Dating someone shorter would be like dating a smurf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 06:56 AM
5

What the fuck
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 05:10 AM
9

I admire what these men are willing to do for their families, I just wish we didnt glorify suffering under capitalism and regard it as a virtue. That's a good point. But, it's not necessarily suffering - construction or trades are necessary and at least where I live they pay relatively well. It's not exactly that they're suffering, but they're doing good honest working for the benefit of their families, I agree I don't actually want anyone to suffer at work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 04:48 PM
2

If you become a parent, view it as an opportunity to fill the world with a person that makes it better than worse. I think that's the goal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 10:44 AM
1

I don't think this is real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 10:43 AM
9

100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 10:37 AM
15

I don't know if that's a great strategy. Men who don't want someone crazy may take you at your word!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 10:34 AM
41

Honestly the one HVM in my family was a construction worker. He got his girlfriend pregnant at 19. Instantly married and took on the roll of provider while his wife started home. When he came back from work he couldn't wait to play with his kids and kiss his wife even though he was grimy AF. I remember my cousin's also took "wait until your dad comes home" threats seriously because he always supported his wife and took her side. It wasn't even up for discussion, it was just "Did you do what your…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 09:49 AM
1

Listen to "Down the Rabbit Hole". It explains how algorithms on YouTube (and presumably other places) catalyze extremist views.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 09:35 PM
23

Wtf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 05:39 PM
3

Social media is so true. I'm glad I grew up without it - I have an addictive personality and I know in formative years I would have been really affected.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 10:56 AM
16

I'm sorry but women don't rape kids. That's men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 05:14 PM
4

Goddamn I would make more soup out of spite.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 05:02 PM
8

Yeah my last boyfriend was kinda poor. He still got me things and paid for stuff but he was far more conscious of what he spent in general. I cared about him and couldn't ignore it. So I was less demanding. And then, I was just really bored because the relationship devolved to doing everything cheaper.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 04:58 PM
15

LMFAO. Yeah I hate that I have to assume you're dangerous as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 04:50 PM
88

Yeah like I'm sure some have been castrated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 04:49 PM
185

I learned just yesterday that the one FWB I had sent screenshots of sexy texts that I sent him to other people. I literally wanted to find him and punch him in the face. What the fuck. That's so intimate why the fuck would you share that. I can't even yell at him since I blocked him ages ago. But I just imagine if I had sent him nudes Jesus Christ.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 04:47 PM
61

Yeah I think the junk food analogy is a great one. You crave something that's not healthy, and it comes at the cost of not appreciating how satisfying healthy meals can be. Tomato salads with cilantro and avocado are one of my favorite meals in the world. But if I've eating taken out 3 days in a row then my brain won't accurately remember how much I actually like tomato and avocado. I do not feel the same way about men because, despite being incompatible, I think all the men I've dated have been…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 11:30 AM
2

Sometimes when these things are posted I do genuinely wonder what guys think of this. Do they acknowledge it's genuinely a shitty thing to do to interrupt someone? Or do they really not have social skills to realize that keeping to yourself and having had phones in means that you're not open to interacting with others?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 05:04 AM
10

Previously, school and at a marathon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 04:41 AM
25

I wouldn't. You don't get to hold things like that against someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 09:42 PM
9

Exactly. A guy who buys you a coffee isn't trying to impress you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:10 PM
4

I wouldn't wait either if I felt the situation was dangerous, but it gives something more concrete for the cops to go on. It makes their jobs easier. Talking to the police can be intimidating enough. Imagine you're talking to a cop and they ask "Did you tell him you don't want to contact you?" If the answer is no, they could very easily tell you that that's a good place to start. I feel like it's more about covering your bases to show you've done all you can do, rather than contacting the police…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 05:16 PM
21

Or blame it on their horoscope. The synergy between Venus and Mars means I can't date assholes right now. Sorrynotsorry
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 03:49 PM
19

This is why I am firmly in favor of specifically saying "I don't want to talk to you, don't try to contact me" prior to blocking. Once you say that and they continue, it's legally considered harassment. I know it's clunky to say but it puts you in a good position.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 03:43 PM
10

Everything about this made me mad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 03:32 PM
6

I don't live in England but sometimes hardware stores sell them. Also any place that's aimed at selling fishing or hunting Gear. I got mine at a place called Bass pro shop, they're a sportings good store in North America and they sell a lot of camping or hunting stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 03:31 PM
4

Lool someone lost at monopoly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 03:27 PM
23

I really don't know. I'm torn on it I guess
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 07:54 AM
72

It's pepper spray for dogs. Yes it works for humans, you can use bear spray too. I think bear spray is supposed to be less damaging, but dog spray is now realistic if a cop ever questions you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:49 AM
10

Ew
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:39 AM
2

TBH I would love to learn people in my city who already read FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:37 AM
16

When it comes to explaining why I'm against porn I'm willing to be very patient. A year ago I didn't understand, I equated porn with masturbation for men. Because it's so normalized, I don't want to call women pick mes for it - I prefer the approach that explains that it harms women (I assumed that everything was consensual, but so much involves coercion), and it harms men's expectations, which results in not being able to get hard with a normal woman or even addiction. People explaining their o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:34 AM
114

I don't think that was Sylvia Plath. Still a good quote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:21 AM
136

See I'm torn on that. Owning a gun makes you more likely to be killed by a gun. But I also don't want to be defenseless; realistically if I were attacked I'd lose. It's even illegal for me to have pepper spray here. So I use dog spray.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:17 AM
75

I think not having a LVM in your life is more important than having a HVM. Success in dating is sometimes losing dead weight. I'm single now and I'm good with that. If and when I'm ready to start dating, I feel like the level up is knowing how to be more selective and give people less of your time if you don't like them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 11:31 PM
3

Don't kill me 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 11:23 PM
3

I don't mind the theory. Yeah sure, maybe I only like the top 20% of guys. I'd actually say it's closer to 5%. So what? Get sad, if you don't like it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 11:22 PM
7

Most to FDS is about valuing yourself and not settling. That can be applied to a lot of areas in life. But you need a job. You don't need men. That does change the dynamic a bit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 07:47 PM
1

Ew
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:12 AM
9

I googled low effort boyfriend and this subreddit spelled out my thoughts perfectly. We ended up breaking up for other reasons. But now I know I shouldn't have tolerated that shit. I kept excusing low effort because he was poor. I can now confidently say I don't want someone poor and I don't want someone like effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 08:59 AM
10

When he acts up... End it? I can't tell you what's best for your life. However here are some things I'm confident in: if you plan to have kids, aiming for marriage first is best. women do the majority of household labor. I'd be concerned you're going too much for him if he thinks he can get away with not being your husband. I think HVM who think in the long term will WANT to marry you, so by going for guys who don't want marriage, there will probably be fewer good ones. You should probably serio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 08:56 AM
2

Feels good to hear this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 10:45 PM
14

Weed out anyone with common sense so they can take advantage of whoever matches with them. But also you have a lot of men saying that they never get matches, so. Maybes it's because your profile looks like this shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 10:27 PM
4

This comment feels so triggering for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 10:23 PM
5

I've used toys for years, like since I was 16. I still really like oral
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 10:22 PM
4

This is where I think buying a ring is a good idea. I don't want to spend a lot on one because I lose things, but I also don't want to buy something cheap that will turn my finger green.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 10:10 PM
26

From a friend I blocked, I got this a lot, "I'm surprised you think so little of me." I never apologized. It's not my fault I have an accurate read of you. I laughed in his face when he hinted at me setting him up with a friend of mine. I knew too much about him to ever expose my friends to him. He was hurt lmao. Ugh so many things wrong with that friendship. I learned a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 10:06 PM
16

The fact that not dating is often better than dating most men says more about men than women on this subreddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 09:35 AM
5

I got my period during sex. I apologized because his bed looked like an abortion (lights were off when we were having sex). He told me not to apologize, then replaced the sheet and put the dirty one in the laundry. I didn't have PJ bottoms (I don't like to sleep with clothes usually) so I asked to borrow a pair of shorts to sleep in. I said "Can I wear your shorts? I didn't bring PJs." and he started taking off his own shorts. I died of laughter because I didn't mean the ones he was wearing. It …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:28 AM
6

Don't excuse them not asking you for dinner because it's harder. That's how you only date cowards. Don't ask for dinner. He should ask. If he doesn't know, that's his problem, not yours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:21 AM
2

Damn I love this 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:19 AM
6

Good. Let him suffer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:08 AM
9

I assume it's ok for everyone involved to date as much as they want until it's literally said that it's exclusive. Until that point, date whoever you want and assume they are doing the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:05 AM
79

Studies actually confirm this. Once someone cheats they either internalize they are bad and keep going (eg, I already failed the course, so why bother showing up for the exam), or they become someone who can rationalize cheating and excuses it for themselves while feeling they they're still good people. It's really rare that a person actually acknowledges it was wrong and uses it to improve future relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:57 AM
4

I'm actually considering buying a ring to ward off men. I don't feel like dating at all. I don't want to spend a lot of money because I lose things easily. If you guys have any recommendations for something that won't turn my finger green but also looks pretty let me know!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:52 AM
22

Wow that's perfect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 04:15 AM
97

I don't even want closure from men. The best closure for me has been blocking men I don't like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 09:49 PM
22

I don't think it's healthy to have this view. Keep in mind, it wasn't 100% of men. 21% of men left and 3% of women left. That tells us that more women are caring and loving and loyal, and more men aren't. But it doesn't say that 100% of men left. Those 21% are unquestionably LVM because they leave their lives at their lowest moment. But 79% of men stayed. That IS the majority. I personally don't think FDS is about saying to never be with men because of all the things shitty men do - it's about w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 09:44 PM
11

🥺 what a nice guy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 08:53 PM
86

When men hate women, it manifests in violence and invading women's spaces. When women hate men, it manifests in avoidance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 09:11 AM
9

My thoughts - yes in theory, no in practice. Sex complicates platonic relationships between men and women. Will it complicate ALL relationships? Probably not. A minority if relationships might be possible - a gay friend, your best friend's husband might be friendly. Relationships where there is no desire from either person, or some kind of strong social contract that absolutely forbids you from being involved probably make up the majority of cases where men and women are genuinely friends. I thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 09:04 AM
4

Snoop. You will never regret snooping. You may regret not spoofing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 12:34 AM
4

I have the same problem. Part of it is limited sexual experience with other people - he was the only one GOOD at certain things, so when I picture certain things being done to me it's inevitably entangled. Honestly? I picture a celebrity instead sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 12:31 AM
98

I mean. I believe in "the friend zone"; I just think it's shitty that people consider friendship losing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 12:20 AM
18

Savage
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 04:33 PM
14

Yep!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 02:22 PM
150

Notice how all FDS tips would help you reject this guy. don't send nudes don't meet up for low effort make sure there is actual conversation, ask a lot of questions
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 01:21 PM
2

Guy was a total jerk if he dumped you for this. You're better off without a guy who pressures you to have sex like that. When he messages you in the future, ignore him entirely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 01:02 PM
29

So SHE'S in the wrong when HE was browsing only fans??? You are both contributing to the same shit, except she's not acting superior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 12:16 PM
22

To be fair, we wouldn't hear the silence of the men that didn't care to look. Which everyone here would prefer anyway lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 12:14 PM
2

One asked for anal and for me to go on birth control. That was the month long one. He probably had an issue with porn tbh. But the other guys, no to everything you asked. I thought it could be age because all of them watched porn but the younger guy was best at sex by a wide margin. He watched porn and his dick still worked. That's not a defense of porn, I'm just saying that it's true - I'm skeptical about older guys tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 04:32 AM
12

I think officially ending it is better. I think it's ALWAYS a good idea to say "please don't try to contact me" VERY explicitly in text, because if you have that documented, attempts to contact you further are harassment and you can take it to the cops. If you have evidence, you can speak to your local police department - often a cop will volunteer to call the guy directly and let him know that it's not ok and constitutes harrassment just to scare them straight. It works sometimes. I think it's …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 03:54 AM
18

I don't really care if I've been brainwashed to like things, unless those things are harmful. There's no escaping society. There's no escaping being influenced. Just be picky about the options in front of you. Being brainwashed into wanting a designer bag is much less harmful than being pressured into anorexia, for example. And at least a bag has utility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 03:32 AM
110

I was so angry at Reddit and thinking of uninstalling the app 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 03:27 AM
2

Yep people have different standards. That's ok
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 10:17 PM
2

I don't think that's the male equivalent to be honest. 1 If he's not respecting that boundary, I personally think she should leave him. 2 He probably wouldn't care. I wouldn't do this in my relationship because it's petty. But. Here's the equivalent IMO. If the point is "Nothing physical is happening so it's not cheating" then she should go out on dates with other guys. Don't actually cheat - don't do anything physical like kiss or have sex. Even just pay for herself. Get pretty, meet the guy, h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 09:20 PM
3

I haven't had your experience but I agree it's an uncomfortable one even without the additional challenge you're looking at. I'll still encourage you to do it - it's great that you're taking care of yourself. I think it's totally normal to be reluctant in your situation. I'm sending support through the internet <3 I hope it goes well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 09:09 PM
3

Guys who use it will be removed from my life. Women who use it as an insult towards me are removed from my life. I don't use the word unless I'm describing something truly horrible someone did. I'll give friends a pass if I think there's innocent intent, but I don't like it or encourage that behaviour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 09:01 PM
19

Or too stupid
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 08:58 PM
126

My ex - we were together for 7/8 months. His mom was in town for Christmas, and she usually lives on the opposite side of the globe. I had an issue with his low effort and I let him know in wasnt having fun before the holidays, I communicated and have him a chance. So at first I rejected meeting his mom, saying it didn't make sense. Over the course of the holidays he put in a lot of effort. Dates, quality time, hanging out with mutual friends more. He asked if I would meet his mom in January and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 07:51 AM
4

I have crushes but I don't act on them. Everything, EVERYTHING, when I have a crush is interrupted as a nice gesture from a friend unless I'm being asked out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 05:12 AM
16

I feel like that's good advice. Could go either way but it is concerning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 05:07 AM
21

I couldn't finish reading. He's just a bad person, mean. When TRP works they manipulate women in to servitude. When FDS works we avoid men that drag us down. When you see this kind of thing I have no idea how people get it in their heads that FDS is the female equivalent of the red pill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 05:05 AM
5

Yeah I would never have sex with someone obese 🤢 I really value physical fitness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 02:57 AM
4

I think there are LVM and HVM everywhere. I think HVM are less likely to be on dating apps though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 11:36 PM
82

Yeah fitness is super important to me. I want a guy who is muscular.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 11:00 PM
2

I have the same concerns. So I don't online date. If you can manage that's great, but I'm skeptical enough of the success of online dating to begin with. You're giving yourself a huge handicap on something that's already difficult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 02:18 PM
2

Absolutely not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 12:51 PM
4

I think it has yeah, for as long as I've been alive anyway. I'm only attracted to athletic men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 08:02 AM
15

He's saying that because if he was honest and said I just want someone to fuck then no one would match him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 07:46 AM
22

Holy fuck he's actually in high school
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 07:44 AM
60

He's 11 what's he doing on a dating app
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 07:43 AM
17

had to block my ex in every conceivable way to get him to stop contacting me, you best believe that if the man you're actually in a relationship wants to talk that he'll find a way. ^ love that. Unless it's work hours or an ongoing emergency, what else is an excuse? There would have to be a reason you're not talking to me for a whole day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 07:14 AM
30

He should buy his niece a switch for promising her one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 06:04 AM
44

Lol. Good punch line.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 06:01 AM
3

That's possible; whatever it was, I couldn't connect with her so that kinda sucks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 05:57 AM
3

Yes absolutely. It's about finding someone who is balanced - a strong man, but not someone aggressive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 05:56 AM
2

Well there was a table of people and her husband sat the end. She was so shy that she left the table and got a chair to sit next to him. When I say she clung to him I mean it literally. She held his arm the entire time and didn't try to engage with anyone else, even though I tried. That's not really normal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 11:12 PM
3

Yeah that's just for me personally, but even you agree that it's something to be compensated for with martial arts, or for me even going to the gym a lot. I've dated a short guy before and he was really built. For me it still wasn't the same as dating someone tall though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 10:25 PM
15

Dating shorter gives you more options for sure. But nothing is less attractive than insecurity =\
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 07:02 PM
16

School. I've yet to find a good one since. And school can be a mixed bag too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 07:00 PM
16

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 06:49 PM
9

Well put. For myself, it's reflection of interest. I guess I just live in a place where even LVM guys pay for dates. If a guy didn't pay I'd be like oh shit he doesn't actually like me if he doesn't care to impress me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 06:48 PM
5

Give him an extra pet from me please 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 06:44 PM
9

I'm not super into height on guys. Taller is generally better. But if I was 5"9 ugh I get you. I would not date someone shorter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 06:31 PM
2

My dad is not high value. My mom - she's not a narcissist, or toxic, but I find it hard to happy to be around her. She's negative, critical. She talks too much and she's a bit boring. I could forgive boring if it weren't for the other things, but, if you're not nice and I can't even enjoy time with her, I don't see the point. FDS has made me more comfortable cutting people out of my life. It has made me feel less guilty for acknowledging who people are, accepting they won't change, and putting t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 12:07 PM
123

So this might be totally primitive of me, but let me see if you ladies relate. When I find myself considering whether I'm attracted to someone, one of the many things that goes through my head is whether they'd win in a fight against another random guy. Skinny, short, and insecure dudes do not make the cut. But even then, if a guy has a weak personality, like if he doesn't have his own opinions, or if he seems Uber ready to fight and start shit for no reason like a little chewawa, I won't see hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 11:48 AM
13

I legitimately thought I could separate them before hand too - there were certainly times when I'd go to a partner to have sex just because I was feeling it, and it has nothing to do with love. But I just do develop feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 11:11 AM
52

Idk. Personally I develop feelings when I have sex with someone. That's a huge part of the reason I won't have sex with someone unless I know them well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 10:50 AM
3

I actually randomly know a lot of accountants and I wouldn't call them great picks. Some are completely normal. But there are a disproportionate amount that are legitimately nerdy with no social skills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 08:26 AM
3

Good. You made the right choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 08:24 AM
1

I think "potential HVM" is good to use. When I see people say that I think "She's optimistic because she's seen good signs and no bad signs, but acknowledges that so far it's only potential and she doesn't know enough but is still evaluating."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 08:13 AM
3

Maybe because it's the only way they get a response. They're so desperate they just want to confirm there's someone on the other end that swiped on them, even if it's in anger or disgust. Just a theory.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 09:08 PM
13

I don't think I've ever been a pick me, but, pre FDS I could see myself falling into one of these relationship traps for the sake of equality. It also helps to know that my limit for living with someone is now being engaged. Asking to split things 50-50 feels gross in a marriage, so I'd feel much more confident not tolerating it. I would still feel guilty for not splitting 50-50 outside of an engagement though. I don't really know why. Maybe for fear of accusations, maybe because it threatens my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 08:41 PM
6

It's a sign of intelligence for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 08:15 PM
7

For sure. No guy I've dating has ever had an issue with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 08:11 PM
87

Exactly. Oh poor men they have to make sure women consent...?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 10:45 AM
27

Why is this always true?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 08:36 AM
46

This is why I'm on this subreddit. I need to be reminded... If he's not chasing, he's not interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 08:35 AM
26

I mean, the idea of having a live in maid who is sensitive to my needs and supportive of my career. I'm going to support myself anyway so it would be awesome to not have to do laundry or cook. That said, I'd never be with a guy who didn't work. Men who earn less and men who don't work are the most likely to cheat. Imo it's because of ego.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 07:39 AM
17

I'm split. I still meet lots of nice men. I guess there's a balance between being guarded from dangerous men and open to well intentioned ones. Keep in mind that I think anonymous places like Reddit and anything related to parts of "the manosphere"... It's literally the worst of men. Good guys are way less likely to waste their time on the internet indulging hypotheticals about their girlfriends being raped. Good guys probably don't take part in that conversation. Lots of men are trash. I'd be w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 09:28 PM
13

I want someone who wants to impress me. Coffee is awesome, but something I could buy for a buck fifty is not impressive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 09:19 PM
9

Not particularly. If you've identified that you're better under certain conditions, that's huge and you should take advantage of that knowledge. For myself, I do miss the little nuances of a relationship. Someone to share life's little successes or failures with. Connecting over the ins and outs of a normal day made me feel more supported and that counts for a lot for me. I guess the trouble now is finding that in friends instead of lovers. I don't have a lot of close friends and that's somethin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 09:16 PM
8

Yeah but if she's been in those shoes for hours her feet are probably already hurting and his aren't. I wouldn't expect this of a guy, especially since our shoe sizes are probably different, but it's a nice gesture that shows he cares and thinks of the world from your perspective - it's true empathy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 09:10 PM
5

This guy I've been texting is less present on social media than I am -.- His family is on social media and they look like a cookie cutter family - 3 kids, dog, cat, subburbs, 2 kids going to college and 1 to trade school. Looks good, but you never know right? I don't think there's anything I can find on him online without paying for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 08:13 AM
14

My ex got super moody. I went through him phone and found out his dad had another suicide attempt. He couldn't really talk about his father much, it got him too sad. I used the info to be more patient. It benefited both of us - there was no sense in me being suspicious when we had being loyal. And he wasn't actually hurt by me going through his phone. In fact, I was more patient and gave him space but acted super eager to do things that I knew would cheer him up. He told me in his own time, mayb…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 08:02 AM
14

I was alarmed when I first read it but now I think it's some guy who wants someone to sext him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:54 AM
1

Woah Woah Woah. JFC
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:52 AM
6

Cringe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:37 AM
84

I've been comparing couples I see and the woman is more attractive 99% of the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 05:09 AM
13

Yeah ego boost is my thought too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 02:20 AM
6

I'm sorry for your loss, it can't be easy. I like this place too. It feels nice knowing there are people in your corner who want the best for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 02:17 AM
65

I was in a "forever girlfriend situation" and I'll tell you what I'd change. We were together from 16 to 24. After university, I wish I had said the following. "This relationship had been fun and I love you. Now that we're done with school, I am thinking about the future and whether we have one. We've been together for so long given our age, and it's hard to picture things different. I picture my life, and I only see myself staying in long term relationships with a man I'm married to. I have goa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 01:41 AM
1

Well he's already established he's dumb I guess 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 01:19 AM
25

I barely enjoy cooking for myself. Even pre FDS I've never cooked for a guy, it's just so tedious. I made a birthday cake, once. I can't see myself doing it after marriage either. When I cook for myself, I'll cook a little extra for you, or for left overs, but is cooking for men just because you're married to them even normal? My mom cooked for everyone but only because my dad worked weird shifts. The only women in my family that cooked for their husbands were stay at home wives. Like fine, if I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 01:16 AM
122

Well the thing is, the "dating market" becomes real simple if you don't care if you're single. Either you get what you want, or you don't date. That puts all the power with you - you have the power to walk away. As long as you actually do it when you aren't getting what you want. It's more like a garage sale. There's loads and loads and loads of junk. If you're DETERMINED to walk away with something, you'll likely be disappointed. But, you know... You don't have to buy anything. Just like you do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 12:59 AM
3

Lmffaoooo I meant HOBBIES
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 10:38 PM
6

People can change. You can't change them. Some people never change. Some people want to change but can't. Never accept potential to change as anything valuable. (like a promise to change) It truely is easier to find someone new that doesn't need fixing than it is to wait and pray that someone else will change. It is not your responsibility or obligation to wait around.. it is okay to prefer someone who doesn't need to be fixed. It's okay to walk away. Basically what I'm trying to say is that whi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 09:50 PM
6

Cute!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 09:40 PM
2

Well I don't think I'd even meet up lol, I'd just say it to point out he's not offering a real date and you look subpar when you pull this crap with low effort dates. =p
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 09:37 PM
7

I have the same problem. I've identified several things that are the source of the problem: in my life I've prioritized boyfriends over making new friends. You get comfortable and don't direct as much effort as you should elsewhere I have solo hobbies or male dominated hobbies. I'm shy Covid I've not been dating for half a year now. That's solved. I will have to push myself to try boobies where I'm more likely to meet women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 08:53 PM
2

Hahah I like it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 08:40 PM
12

Generally you can't really measure this because researchers historically have had a hard time finding a control group of men who do not watch porn. In order to really be able to see the effects of porn you'd probably need a study where no one initially watches porn, and then you introduce it to half of relationships, then measure the long term effects over time. I think there are more important metrics as well. Like the following: Did everyone have an orgasm? Was ED a problem? Did you feel press…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 08:37 PM
1

Exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 08:24 PM
53

Isn't she a lawyer?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 08:18 PM
8

It is nice to be with a man that makes you feel safe though. I feel like that's one of the unnamed requirements of being with someone. If you don't feel more safe, it's nearly impossible to be genuinely attracted, at least that's what I find. Height and fitness matter objectively in this regard, beyond just personal preference. How is a 5"4, 130lb guy going to protect you if he has to? He wouldn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 08:10 PM
1

Yeah but even if you like BSDM doesn't that require an abundance of trust? Certainly more than you'd have for a stranger on a dating app.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 12:26 PM
3

"Starve."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 10:35 AM
12

I don't online date, but I'd kind of want to fuck around with it. "Coffee sometime?" "What day?" "Tuesday?" "Sounds good. I have a real date at 7, so how about we do 6 to 630 real quick?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 10:26 AM
4

Wooow this is exactly how I feel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 10:20 AM
58

I don't think anyone owes loyalty to another person until it's be agreed to. It sounds like you should probably date more people. If you don't feel like he's making you enough of a priority then drop him. You should naturally be less available than him anyway, whether it's other dates or hobbies or friends taking up your time. Don't get fixated on one dude you're not even in a relationship with 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 08:58 PM
12

Yeah. I don't do online dating. But if I did, I would share this with men who ask for walking dates. "I only go for dates in densely populated areas. Lots of women have been assaulted by going to parks. Out of concern for my safety, I won't get together in any place like a park or for hikes."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 08:47 PM
4

What the fuck
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 08:35 PM
27

Eeesh yeah Ayn Rand 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 08:55 AM
12

You can't force him to do anything. I don't know whether this is a popular opinion, but I think it's ok to not be friends with your family. There are lots of people in my family I want nothing to do with. I don't have to love them just because they are family. That's a sad sentence. But you can't force someone to have a healthy relationship with you. I think if your mom wants him to do more chores, she should demand it because he lives there for free.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 07:43 AM
9

Yeah I think your friend is a perfect test of whether the guy is a dick. If he makes a pass at her or makes her uncomfortable, you know he's a bad egg.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 07:07 AM
8

I'm an atheist. I don't disagree with anything you've said. I especially like #2. Consent isn't just the absence of no; the obligation is also on the other person to confirm what they're doing is okay and in fact desired. Pre-FDS I've never asked a man to not watch porn. So far, starting with "When was the last time you've watched porn?" is one of the most tactful ways to bring up a sensitive subject like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 07:04 AM
7

Make an album on Imgur, for next time 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 06:46 AM
11

That's cute
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 06:43 AM
3

But also - high school boys were just so much nicer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 06:42 AM
1

I have no issue with the individual sexual acts people choose to do. As long as they're consensually, in a meaningful way. I think very little pornography fits that description- how many sexual acts would women do on camera if they were pressured or coerced or desperate for money? If some folks want a gang bang and want to film it I have no issue with that. How often does that ever happen where no one is paid or pressured? I'd wager almost never. But hypothetically, I don't care how people have …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 06:34 AM
3

You live with them and eventually it becomes little more than a chuckle. He was a waste of time and you can't get that time back. But you also have your whole life in front of you that he doesn't get to ruin because you had the right choice to leave him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 10:10 PM
1

If you care about men's mental health fine whatever. Not everyone can lend their support attention or time to every cause. I have absolutely no objection to men's mental health getting better. Maybe fewer of them will be jerks tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:57 PM
29

Me. Look - if tuxedo mask asked me out and kept saving be from intergalactic villans, I'd probably go out for an ice cream and save the world with him. Barring some equivalent in the real world I don't think dating is worth it. Pros: some guy pays for dinner small percentage chance we are compatible and both like each other Cons: he could be an abuser, stalker, murder, rapist he could be lazy and hide it well we could have a lovely evening and then I find out he has one of my many deal breakers …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:39 PM
8

I had something similar except it always came in a drunk apology. He's mystified about why he's blocked. He feels he needs closure. Mutual friends have said he'd not entitled to that if I don't want to speak to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:10 PM
1

Especially with online dating, don't share or text or pics or anything at all that you wouldn't want shared.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 04:00 PM
1

People assume automatically that they watch porn that it's consensual. But it's not on a meaningful way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 03:42 PM
17

This is terrifying. Why would anyone say yes to this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:15 AM
1

Yeah it's not even funny. Isn't that a requirement for memes? His meme is bad and he should feel bad 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 07:47 AM
2

It's a joke about the sex position called doggie style. For me this is such an eye roll. Dogs are great and the human species is lucky to have something so loyal and pure. And then of course some guy relates it back to sex. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 07:36 AM
1

1000% with you. Blocking guys feels awkward if they're friends. But there is not a single time where I haven't achieved more peace afterward. I think a very small percentage of men can be friends with women. I don't think it's worth taking the chance on that small percentage. It's not impossible. Maybe it's 1%. But would I take a one percent gamble on something else that took so much time? Nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 07:22 AM
5

All media is a distillation of the more interesting parts of life - bad or good. No one wants to see the second night in a row of a couple watching Friends. No one would click that. We want to see the best, not the average.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 07:17 AM
1

I think you could benefit from therapy. You define your value by youth and beauty. You are worth far more than that. You don't have to be hot. You don't have to be young. You don't have to please other people by altering yourself. I don't know the solution to replacing the way you think. I think, sometimes, when I feel insecure or down, I think indulging in some hedonistic stuff is good. Spoil yourself a little to help yourself realize it's ok to go things for yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 07:09 AM
7

Lol I tried to watch it but the first minute was too cringey.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 07:02 AM
4

I don't know what else you're really looking for. Most of the advice on this subreddit is directed towards relationships and how to filter out men that are likely bad for that. If I were in your shoes I wouldn't even bother with men. I'd spend $500 on sex toys and spend my time with friends for companionship. Then if you miss human touch from time to time, go for a massage... Plus they feel amazing. Even if you're not concerned about commitment, men can still be dangerous. They have STDs, they a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 03:35 AM
21

Have sex however you want. As long as YOU want it like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 03:21 AM
20

If you suspect it's a fetish thing, leave. If you think it's a control thing, leave. Otherwise I think it's fine to have preferences. Sometimes people are just biased by their upbringing for who they consider attractive. Idk if anyone experiences this, but the kids I had a crush on when I was in grade school - their races I'm slightly more attracted to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 01:01 AM
16

Definitely a no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 12:48 AM
9

Mine wasn't toxic, but I got stuck in a forever girlfriend situation. 16-24. He's now bald, fat, still in the same dead end job and the woman he left me for dumped him a week later to go back to her abusive ex. He hangs out with guys who are still in college, drinking in public parks at 2am. He's a part of a group of losers that's responsible for shattered beer glasses in public parks. I know because of a friend. When we broke up, he had good career opportunities - lots of potential. And he turn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 12:46 AM
3

I tried whisper for 5 minutes before I realized 90% of it was about sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 12:29 AM
12

I have no issues with any of the porn she's describing. Except, I don't believe any given bit of porn is consensual in a meaningful way. I'm not even talking about rape stats or trafficking stats. Those may be valid, but even BEFORE you get to that point. Sex is a really intimate thing, and even if both people agree, when money is involved, it's a transaction. It's prostitution being filmed. I might like all sorts of crazy things in bed, but I can't watch them being done to people who are not th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 12:24 AM
4

I agree. I don't online date. But having women post and reading the discussion helps me interpret why certain things aren't ok or are indicative of low effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 11:59 PM
4

Oh yeah good luck in New York with that. Yep it's totally up to you. I dated a guy in the military before FDS. He did it for free tuition in part. But I had to tolerate a lot of him being gone, he wasn't even deployed. It took up a lot of weekends and supplemental training and random stuff like that. I loved that he was actually fit. But like, if a friend were debating dating a guy in the military, forgetting FDS even, I'd say it felt the least like a relationship than any relationship I've been…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 10:07 PM
3

FDS advises against dating men in the military. They are more likely to abuse and less likely to face consequences Not going down on me personally would be a deal breaker. I think it's totally fine to break up over this. Sexual compatibility being important goes both ways. he is educated. $60k is not terrible. But that's up to you to decide. If you want a guy who earns more and he doesn't, just tell him you don't see a future with him. You don't owe him an explanation about why. If he ever jokes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 09:12 PM
23

All anyone should learn from this is that this dude specifically is incapable or unwilling to be monogamous. Next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:58 PM
8

Yeah. Random people who aren't experts are really willing to offer. I dated a guy who was an ex fitness instructor. I mentioned I wouldn't mind getting more toned and he said that was great and offered to help. I ended up just sticking to my running routine. I asked him to watch me doing some lifts with small weights and correct my posture and he did. It's like, the more confident you are, the less you feel the need to shove advice down people's throats.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:56 PM
10

I know that a lot of twilight gets shit on, but the fourth movie is perfect. You marry a guy who is rich and handsome. He loves and prioritizes your safety. The only source of disagreement they have are things that directly interfere with her safety. Eventually he apologizes sincerely and supports your choice. When you marry this dude, who had a great family, you become immortal and get a super power. Like SURE Edward is super creepy and possessive in a lot of ways and that's not ok. But people …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 07:37 PM
3

I find it fascinating that other countries have different candies. That's something I always took for granted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 06:21 PM
6

When I see stuff like this my mind works in a different way. I think "Man, I'd abort that kid because that guy does not deserve to be a father". I don't want kids do the reality is I'd abort regardless, and I know other women care far more about their pregnancy's than I ever could so it's not fair for me to say things like that. But it's true. That guy doesn't deserve to be a father. He doesbt deserve to be a husband and if the world was just he'd be alone and she would be with someone who could…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 06:19 PM
2

Yeah sure but there's a lot of spelling mistakes since I was using predictive text on my phone lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 05:53 PM
26

I was definitely open to hearing criticism. She didn't really make any points aside from acting exasperated. She did hit on "equality" a few times. No one on FDS wants laws changed to make sure women are superior under the law. Under the law, we want equality. But in our dating preferences, we can be as picky as we like. We are absolutely entitled to reject men. I don't want a romantic partner where everything is 50-50 - I can hold that view with my interpersonal relationships while maintaining …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 09:39 AM
11

Yeah I agree with the spirit but in practice I'm not sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 09:16 AM
22

Nice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 09:14 AM
19

Idk. The best sex I've had was with someone who loved me, not just because of love, but because it motivated them to actually please me. For me personally that's why I don't do FWB or hook ups. The sex is way less likely to be good because guys will default to selfish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 02:59 AM
14

I find other women relate more to "I'm not looking for a relationship right now." More than "I don't want a relationship with anyone I've met." Like I think friends understand how exhausting dating is more than they understand that I'm really picky. So it's just easier to say, yeah I'm not looking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 02:55 AM
17

Some issues are polarized for good reason. Abortion, being the perfect example. Some people really truly believe it's a person you're murdering with a soul; externalities shouldn't matter because nothing is a baby's fault. But if you truly don't see a fetus as a person, abortion laws look like ways to punish and control women. I obviously side with the "left" position on this topic, but I can see exactly why it has to be a polarizing issue. They're not going to compromise on "murder" and I won't…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 01:08 AM
35

There's a lot of conservative policies (not just opinions, literal policies) that negatively effect women. To name a few: Limiting access to birth control and abortion Limiting funding for services for women's health Limiting programs that aim to curb violence against women Conservatives have opposed policies regarding equal pay for men and women At large, many conservatives oppose things that women would benefit from that are not necessarily women's issue, such as single payer health care, rais…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 12:37 AM
51

100% agree. I think it's fine to pay yourself too. I don't want the accusation that I dined and dashed especially if he's shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 08:10 PM
17

Good for her!! If he cared about her he'd make her a garden of cucumbers and be thrilled she was so easy to please. I think she's right about how he thought she'd just bend to his will. Good for you!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 06:13 AM
11

I think only rich men are justified in complaining about this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 06:05 AM
13

Would you still apply a lot of the things here though? For example, who should pay? 50 50 or the person who initiates? Does initiating set the tone for the whole relationship? Are things in general supposed to be 50-50? I feel like if I were to date a woman I'd focus more on compatibility than safety compared to how I would date men. I just think of men as being more dangerous I guess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 11:54 PM
45

I don't really agree with this. As much as I want a guy who is useful, a gift should be for the other person. If he's both helpful or handy that's a problem on its own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:11 PM
6

This was me, kind of. Didn't last until my late 20s. The idea with being with your high school sweetheart has a certain naive romance to it. In my case I got spoiled by him in a lot of ways too. Dinners multiple times a week. If I bought new Ike furniture, he just assumed it was his job to assemble it. Flowers just because, same with chocolate, jewelry and my favourite Starbucks drink. He also had a thing with buttons - I liked collecting buttons if things I enjoyed, so I'd always get surprised …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:39 PM
3

"you are just an attachment in her life." I like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:21 PM
7

Yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:16 PM
47

My roommate found my ex on Bumble. I got my things from his place while he was at work and broke up with him via text. It was pretty easy to do the breaking up. It was harder living with the fact that I probably can't trust the fast majority of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:09 PM
21

A friend of mine was like, "Men are horrible. We're all horrible." Other friends have validated my decision to leave relationships where my exes cheated. Upon hearing yet another guy cheated on me, my brother said I was really unlucky, shook his head, and said "These hoes ain't loyal", referring to my exes. That's the best I can think of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:54 AM
5

How is this true? Wtf are people even saying when they report? There's nothing wrong with OPs message.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:30 AM
3

Omg wow good for you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:15 AM
4

You keep telling people you suck at boundaries. I agree that should change. Maybe a baby step - it can be hard to say no if you're not used to it. Instead, pick a lie. It's a no, but it's a padded no. "No" without explanation is ideal, but you're finding it difficult - so maybe you'll feel more comfortable with "No because XYZ." While I totally agree with the other ladies here that you should just say no, I think if you absolutely can't say it, then saying anything at all to not waste your time …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:14 AM
5

Imo tell him to move to a place closer to yours. he's already willing to move. Why does it have to be into your house? it's not just up to you to compromise. you already know you don't want him there - you may like him, but allowing him to move in comprises your values and priorities. If he clashes with your values, is he really for you? "I love spending time with you, but I'm not moving in with a man unless we're married. I don't want someone so cemented in my kids lives unless we intend for it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:03 AM
28

I'm bi. I've never been with a woman. Men approach me and women don't. I also by default think that most women are likely straight when I meet them, so I don't bother pursuing more than friendship. Could be something similar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 05:54 AM
12

Good on you for doing the digging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 05:52 AM
9

I feel like it is easier to live by FDS because the majority of the change for me has come from blocking men - "friends" or otherwise - who aren't worth my time. That initial bit of pushing the button for the first time was admittedly awkward. But it's always followed by relief. I guess it would be different if I were dating a LVM - it's much harder to end a relationship than block someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 05:09 AM
2

Makes sense!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 05:07 AM
10

As someone not on snap chat or Instagram can someone explain why this is a thing they ask for and why it's suspect?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 01:28 AM
31

I don't think I'd answer those kind of questions. Basic info might be necessary but I also don't want to help someone determine I'm an easy target for a burglary or kidnapping.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 09:19 PM
6

I did lol oops
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 09:11 PM
3

"she posted pics of her kids specifically to ruin my day" ??? Imagine thinking the world revolves around you like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 08:09 PM
40

That guy was looking for a fight, not a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 08:06 PM
6

She escalated it to physical. That doesn't make him right in the rest of the argument, but if we take this dude at his word that she was the only one who hit, I frankly wouldn't let that person back in my car either. Leaving her alone in a potentially dangerous area is not ok though. Covering cab fair is a start but he should have made sure she was safe in another car or with a friend before taking off. What if something happened?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 02:50 PM
4

I don't want a guy with low confidence. I don't want a guy who is arrogant. But I absolutely want a guy who feels lucky to be with me. I'd probably never actually use the word "prize" this way in real life. I think thinking of yourself as a prize is a good way to not feel bad about rejecting guys who don't measure up to your expectations. A lot of women come to this subreddit and need to be reminded that they don't need to settle, it's ok to have standards, etc. You are not literally a trophy ju…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 02:34 PM
7

He wanted credit for brushing his teeth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 07:44 AM
80

This is so cute. I want this. Who wants to join our backyards she raise chickens and split shit we buy in bulk from Costco with me??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 07:38 AM
37

I love how he runs to her; he's being filmed, he's in dress shoes, but he's happy enough to see her that these things are less important than getting to get 2 and a half seconds faster. Cute AF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 07:35 AM
44

The top 5 posts on this subreddit at the moment are: telling women not to settle praising the example of something positive a man did for his partner reminding women that being confused about whether he likes you means he doesn't like you Commonly on this subreddit you will find advice about how to avoid abusers, how to interpret messages from online dating to better recognize and filter out men who don't want relationships, and complaints about areas where society marginalizes women. Now, the m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 07:13 AM
3

So the way that it's been explained by a lot of people in the manosphere is that men make up more geniuses and idiots. Risk taking is directly linked to their testosterone; some risks really pay off and some don't. So while men and women on average have the same IQ, men make up more of the upper and lower bounds, while women are more consistent. We're less likely to be idiots and less likely to be geniuses. That said, women have been suppressed for generations, so I don't we're even seeing the f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 10:00 PM
107

Yep. Don't worry... I no longer talk to this person. 😇
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 09:10 PM
318

One boyfriend I had let me sleep in on weekends when I'd stay over. He'd make me a coffee to help me perk up, put it on my night table, then retreat to his office to play video games until he thought I'd get up. Then he'd make breakfast and text me whether I wanted it in bed or to join him in the kitchen. Then we'd watch what I wanted on TV for a bit and then split up and do our own things for a bit. I asked why he did it once, and he just shrugged and explained he needed to make me happy, becau…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 08:22 PM
2

I think perhaps you're just a little bit more aware of how much attention you're getting or not getting after the surgery. Could just be a different batch of guys. Could be covids getting to people. It might have been that you were more nervous and like you said, gave short responses. Give yourself some time to cool off and feel better then try again when you're up to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 06:39 PM
1

If I'm buying myself the ring then why would I marry someone not giving me a ring...? "I want someone to settle for me doing the bare minimum. We're married, why do I have to buy shit?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 06:32 PM
3

I don't think old is worth it. I downloaded it the other day and made a fake profile. I just wanted to see what was out there. I swiped through about 500 photos and was maybe genuinely attracted to 5-10 of them. What percentage of those guys were not just looking for sex? And what percentage of those are genuinely compatible? And it's also just not romantic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 06:18 PM
8

The issue there is not letting him control the finances. If it's both your money you should be equally involved so you don't get fucked over for simply being a good mom. I think that goes more towards "does he treat me like a second class citizen because he's making money and I'm not." If you're a team, then yeah fuck the mom guilt and stand up for yourself. I understand the part about employers. It's not totally true. There are lots of entry level jobs. There are also lots of jobs in child care…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 06:14 PM
1

I'm not ethnic but I do find that to be true as well =\ I find that middle Eastern men are the worst for this, black men are a mixed bag, but Asian and white men have treated me the most respectfully. There are examples that contradict every one of those generalizations but that's what I've found to be true on average. I live in a large city and that's been my experience. I think a lot of it overlaps with socio-economic status. Where I live, white families have more wealth in general - I think t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 06:05 PM
2

What the fuck. He got in the way of her taking care of herself, he made fun of her, took away her belongings. Go to therapy so a stranger can tell him what a ridiculous child he's being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 05:44 PM
18

I think that's true for 99.99% of the time. In this case where your husband is making that much and you agree it's in the childs and families best interest, it just makes sense to leave work while you build your family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 05:39 PM
6

That was so fucking wholesome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 05:34 PM
15

I think a lot of views of had about men came from askreddit. Porn sounds normal, the idea of a woman asking a man out sounds normal, men asking for compliments. But in real life men never really complain about this stuff and rarely admit to it. Reddit is just not a good place. I gave up askreddit a year ago because so much of it is focused around sex. It actually really bothered me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 05:13 PM
18

This is the perfect time to text "Attachment: 1 image"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 06:37 AM
24

I don't care if it takes that long. I like muscular fit men. If that's not you... Idk have fun whining?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 06:35 AM
1

If you live in a country where pepper spray is illegal: have a friend text you "Holy shit I saw a coyote/bear in my back yard! It was scary, I'm going to buy bear spray tomorrow! Come with me." go buy dog/bear spray keep it on you like pepper spray On Amazon you can get a wyze camera for $30 as a security camera. It's cheap and it works. Hook it up to wifi and download the app, you can see live the area it faces from your phone without an expensive security system. Get an SD card if you need to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 06:29 AM
70

Sometimes success is losing dead weight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 11:44 PM
15

Fuck me I want someone attractive who has a good job. I'm like, the worst. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 11:42 PM
3

Misogyny aside wtf why are you bringing Taylor Swift into this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 11:40 PM
10

Is this him asking you to make him muffins?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 11:37 PM
15

Huge accomplishment!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 11:30 PM
7

That's clever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 10:50 PM
4

Wow that sounds really smart. Can you give me an example of something?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:14 PM
1

Yep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:12 PM
2

Good points
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:11 PM
2

I'm so fascinated by this. What do you do when you realize you're shit? You've wronged people and that can never be changed. You can change yourself, but maybe you don't trust yourself enough to not be horrible again. Do you deserve redemption? Do you deserve a chance to improve? The only answer I have is that she was right to block him and move on. I have no idea what the next steps are for him. It would be better if abusers didn't exist - in that sense the world would be better if he was dead.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:08 PM
6

Regarding video games - I agree with you. I think if a guy identifies as a gamer that's a problem. I think if you pick up a game from time to time, that's not a big deal. If it's tied to your identity I think it will take up a disproportionate amount of time and attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:00 PM
1

There's a lot I disagree with, but I'm not here for that. I'm here for what I do agree with: Better and more specific ways to filter out men who are more likely to abuse you, take advantage of you, or not improve your life. For me this boils down to effort. I don't really care about feminism at large - some women here are really focused on it, and it's NOT that I disagree, it's just that my political opinion are more focused on different issues, primarily on homelessness and housing at large. Th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:56 PM
12

I understand the perspective of this subreddit, but my personal stance is that I won't know for a fact that he won't try to use me as a maid unless we've already lived together. It's like that scene from Dirty John, season 2 with Betty. (Slight spoilers). They were just married and they are in a hotel. They have sex for the first night and get up in the morning. The husband puts the "do not disturb" sign outside of their room. Betty: But Dan, do you really want to sleep in an unmade bed every da…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:34 PM
3

That was my first thought.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:13 PM
3

Insert barf emoji
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:11 PM
72

Lmaoo "Do you want a coffee date some time?" "Like... a meeting?" Hahahaha that's actually funny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:10 PM
7

That's how I interpreted it as well yeah Women-hater dudes. Not, women, hater dudes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:07 PM
15

Nerdy answer to this. Taste buds dull over time. So kids actually are better at tasting the bitterness in veggies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:06 PM
45

Whoever is making these, can you do one about "ways to have sex for less money". I swear men are always looking to put no effort or money into dates. Cheap dates monthly! "How to make walks in the park at night sound less rapey" "The coffee date - pre date to weed out women who have standards" "Navigating OLD - which apps really get you more sex for less work?" "Identifying girls with low self esteem - it's easier than you think!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:55 PM
9

I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing to be concerned how you look or want to improve it. A lot of the time it can overlap with improving health. I guess I wish men did it more lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:51 PM
6

Yeah I don't feel the need to be honest with men about why you break up with them either. Because then they think it's a negotiation, can promise to improve etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:02 PM
16

I mean yeah that's a possibility, but then you're ruling out men who do nice things like this for you. I'm going through a phase where i don't think men are worth dating too - maybe it's a phase, or maybe it's the truth that I'll forget when I feel better. But I absolutely do want men doing romantic things for me if I give them the chance to. I agree with a lot of comments that this is a little bit put on and the focus on sharing it is odd. But regardless, I want to be okay with men doing romant…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 05:03 PM
13

I'm sure if you searched the world you'll find a few examples. New positions or something idk. It doesn't really matter if we can find an example of two of it being helpful. I used to watch porn and it made me uncomfortable that I was never really sure if the women wanted to be there. And if they were there only for money, that's not a genuinely intimate act and still made me uncomfortable. Any wince, any moan that sounded put on, any obviously fake banter. It's a total turn off. I don't want to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:29 PM
55

Yeah but the effort is nice. You could find out any guy is a LVM tomorrow after years together - this can happen with literally any man. He been cheat on you, trade you in for a younger model, device he doesn't like house work. All of those are possibilities with any guy. So you might as well only date guys who genuinely put in effort. The more effort he puts in, the more likely he's a HVM and the more likely he'll be to be afraid to lose you because he'll have wasted all that effort. And if sev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:12 PM
54

What would you even do as a mother in this situation? You'd hope that by that age you could trust them to navigate the internet responsibly. In 2 years he can get his own plan anyway. Even now, all he has to do is walk to Starbucks and download stuff. I wouldn't know how to fix that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 03:27 AM
7

Lmao she believes in yoga.... Lmfao this is a joke 🤣🤣 this isn't real DKM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 01:31 AM
16

I feel like this guy watched too much anime or something and picked qualities he liked about cartoon characters he had a crush on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 01:29 AM
7

If you're attracted to some men, that's ok. If you're not, that's ok too. Society pushes heterosexual couples. It's more "normal", more typical, so perhaps you've just assumed you were supposed to like men. I'm just speculating. There's no wrong answer. And you don't have to figure it out right away. Btw I'm bi and dicks don't look attractive to me either lol. But some of them are functionally useful so. It is what it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 01:26 AM
1

Yeah I'm not defending it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 01:01 AM
12

This makes no sense. We're not involved, he didn't ask me out, we share the same hobby and talk sometimes. I have 0 obligations to make this guy someone better to date. Also, he didn't ask for my opinion. Unsolicited advice is one of the most annoying things for the receiver, but also, it's useless to give advice to someone who is not literally asking for it- you're just wasting your breath.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 11:29 PM
16

No. It's not my job to fix him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:22 PM
13

For dropping out he does have a good reason, but for staying in a mediocre job and living with his parents as his 30s are approaching? No... No lol no
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:15 PM
6

Nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:14 PM
21

All signs point to LV. Don't force it or lose sleep over this. If there was a chance he was HV, he'd ask you out and be working on his life. Yeah that was my point. For months there was hope and then you learn more and it's like... Yep wrong again. I also won't be hard on myself for crushes. I don't plan to get married or even date for a very long time, so I'm not going mentally flagellate myself for liking men on occasion. A pleasant thought of an attractive man is nothing I'm ashamed of, but i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:09 PM
15

I don't think he was ever interested at all. But I couldn't even have a crush without eventually realizing he was LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:04 PM
8

He does not have a business lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 09:58 PM
1

I mean, we were both using each other for emotional labor if you want to frame it that way. We both had pseudo therapy sessions with each other, and I complained far more to him than he did to me. We considered each other friends, but, pseudo therapists wouldn't technically be doing either. As for whether his girlfriend knew, I did come up in an argument once. I had been calling him a lot through my break up because I didn't have anyone else and I was in a lot of pain. He'd step out to talk to m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 08:35 PM
20

We're both in our late 20s. From what I understand he lived away from home during college, dropped out, came back home and settled for a local job. He wasn't moved out before Covid. I understand some families might be in a tighter situation now but then what's his pre Covid excuse right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 08:17 PM
16

Yeah. I prefer someone educated but it's not a must have for me personally. But he's not even able to support himself independently. His life isn't my business but it's just so disappointing. For miles and miles I've only met guys who are eventually disrespectful. They hide it for a time, or manipulate you into giving them the benefit of the doubt. And then, when you actually think you've found someone decent he's kind of a loser. That's why I mentioned it. It's so hard to find someone who just …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 08:11 PM
10

I know!! I'm still laughing and it's been 5 minutes 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 07:58 PM
3

Lmao. This is too funny
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 07:57 PM
39

Well I wasn't expressing interest really, it was more just initiating the small 10 min convos. I'd text him what I needed help with, he'd help, sometimes ask for my help, followed by a min or 2 of small talk. Multiply by 6 months and you get to know each other a little bit very slowly. When I started asking someone else for help he'd check in and say hey you haven't asked in a while, do you still need XYZ. I don't think it was that "playing hard to get" "earned" me his attention, that's not what…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 07:45 PM
119

There's this guy I've been crushing on for a while. He seemed like he could be high value, but, I didn't want to chase, right? We chatted about a mutual hobby from time to time. Over time I got to learn that he hit a lot of things on my check list. Similar politics, similar religious beliefs, marathon runner (fitness is really important to me). He's also handsome and 5"11. Throughout our talking, he seemed really respectful. Nothing teetered towards anything sexual. He never brought up anything …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 07:31 PM
27

I feel like there aren't enough spelling mistakes for it to have come from a guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 01:13 PM
5

I agree with the spirit of what you're saying, but editors frequently have consideration for this kind of thing. News is a business and their bottom line is money. It's not necessarily evil, more just like, capitalistic, though, there can be overlap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 05:13 AM
33

I don't want kids but a nice full life can still include them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 04:17 AM
40

That was so cute. Her voice is so... Idk it's got a sort of enchanting quality doesn't it??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 04:16 AM
18

Likely because he hasn't been found guilty yet or something along those lines. In the event that he gets the charges dropped, the news source does not want to get sued. So often the best we get in these situations is "Man found guilty of sexual assault" or "Young girl claims she was raped." It might not always be safe for the newspaper to convey that someone's guilty... They could probably be sued for defamation or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 04:14 AM
10

My parents did this all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 01:45 PM
4

100000%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 06:35 AM
3

BOOKMARKED FOR LATER FUCKING USE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 06:34 AM
3

There were signs but when you're in love you don't believe them; you give them the benefit of the doubt. "When you see things in rise colored glasses, red flags just look like flags". I don't blame myself for not knowing the men I dated to their core. I blame them for the way that they are. That's why vetting is super important. Don't even bother giving men a chance if there's any reason to say no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 06:32 AM
1

For me I just interpret "At least he's honest" in this context to mean "at least he's dumb enough to say that so it's easy for women with standards to filter him out quickly." It's not really a compliment to him, it's more like making fun at him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 06:29 AM
2

Ego.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 06:25 AM
26

I don't think he's a pedo. I think he's watching porn in the office because that's where his computer is. That's why the office chair has jizz on it. That's the best case scenario. At worst, he's a pedo, at best he's addicted to porn so much so that he doesn't care that he comes in the same room as his kid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 06:14 AM
4

Bravo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 06:09 AM
1

It's not the only time we talk, we talk several times a week. Not that it excuses how he's treating his gf, but I've never gotten the vibe that he was interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 05:17 AM
1

I don't really think I was a pick me but I definitely prioritized my relationship with my ex boyfriend (8 year relationship out of high school). Maybe I'll post there about it though. I took a look once and it looked a little thin. But maybe it's grown since then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 08:30 PM
1

I have other interests but by necessity they're solitary because of xo is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 07:48 PM
1

I don't have her contact info. Never met her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 07:47 PM
3

I've been trying to connect to female friends for years. I have such an issue with it and I'm not sure why. I could describe my issue but it's worthy of a whole other post. Regardless, I'm not just going to find female friends in the next 2 weeks, that's just not how it works,b or at least, not how it's happened for me. Especially with Covid. I have exactly 1 female friend and she's definitely a pick me. She kind of has to be though, sad story. If I abandoned everyone this subreddit didn't appro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 06:50 PM
6

Yeah I agree he probably pressured her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 05:33 PM
6

Well from talking to him I don't feel alone. I get what you're saying about emotional labor, but I've benefited tremendously from his friendship because he makes me feel like someone cares about my thoughts and opinions. We talk about all sorts of things, mainly politics and books and I confide in him a lot about my relationship with my parents. This was critical throughout Covid where I couldn't meet people. I can't even really meet people now, cases are still super high, which the reason why I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 05:24 PM
-3

Lmao take a fake internet point from me. That was hilarious 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 04:22 PM
43

I can't speak for all women, of course... But shit, call me hypergamous if you want, I don't give a fuck. If I could not have an equal, would I rather have someone smarter or Dumber? Someone more attractive or less? Someone being a higher earner or lower earner? You bet I'm going to want men who are as good as can be, so long as we're talking about positive criteria. I don't care if some 12 year olds get upset that my standards are too high - they can pretend I'll die alone and full of regret if…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 06:22 AM
1

Well exes are exes for a reason. One cheated and one made me a forever girlfriend. So even though they treated me well throughout the course of the Relationships, things did not end well. But I suppose I have been lucky in finding guys who weren't afraid to spoil me. They've definitely set a standard in that regard - I expect the person I'm with to care about and try actively to contribute to my happiness. Honestly yeah I expect to be spoiled a bit and he has to be happy to do it - why would I w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 05:57 AM
287

"He doesn't know it's not okay to live like a slob. It's your job to teach him." One of the biggest draws to this subreddit for me initially was how it called out "you should communicate" as bullshit. Nah. Some things, people should already know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 07:42 PM
1

No one aspires to common law. It's like the friend zone equivalent when you're already in a relationship where he's waited far too long to escalate things and you should probably move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 06:34 PM
9

My boyfriends have frequently bought be gifts and paid for dinner 90% of the time. I didn't have to ask them to, they just did it because they thought the guy was supposed to and they were raised to. If a guy weren't paying for these kinds of things I'd assume he just didn't care enough about impressing me and wasn't interested. And I got gifts frequently but they weren't always expensive. Sometimes it jewellery or flowers or chocolate, but other times it was buttons to add to my collection or a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 05:25 PM
2

It's his fault, not yours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 07:12 AM
2

Consider working as a receptionist at a vets office. They need someone comfortable with animals but they don't need you to be experienced. They need someone with good common sense and the ability to answer phones, book appointments, etc. And that does not necessarily require an education or formal experience. That would be my starting point. Aside from that, I agree that Covid is not the best time to job hunt. However, do some research and perhaps speak to a temp agency regarding your goals to b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 07:11 AM
16

I wouldn't want to date someone overweight either but: she looks gorgeous that's not how you talk to someone about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 06:42 AM
6

I think there's sampling bias here. I think more childfree women are going to be interested in answering this question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 06:38 AM
3

At the time of clicking on the comments section, the top 5 answers start with "No." I love this subreddit 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 06:35 AM
3

Good call on that NSFW label O.O
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 06:31 AM
12

"ur really pretty" is not a compliment - it's just saying "you're capable of inspiring an erection for me" in context. We don't exist for you're pleasure and it's not a compliment to tell us that you hope that we do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 06:29 AM
8

Omg is that what happens lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 06:24 AM
70

"when it comes from an attractive guy who they like SURE it's ok, but when it comes from people who have failed to pick up on social cues well enough to understand it would be uninvited THEN it's CrEePy!" Women like attractive guys hitting on them more than unattractive guys???? How outrageous. You do really mean to tell me women are so shallow that they actually have preferences in men? It's like... Oh I'd you like the guy and want him to fuck you then it's just sex, but if you don't want him t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 06:21 AM
2

My first ex came from money so I'll never be as financially comfortable. But that's entangled with a lot of obligation to family. My second ex had a high income potential based on what he was studying, but, don't fall in love with potential, right? I don't know how much I'll make but I'm comfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 11:41 PM
30

I think if its that important to you, you should probably straight up ask before hand. Your standards are your own but I probably wouldn't reject a guy on this basis, unless he was so incredibly small that it warranted a warning. And honestly despite some comments here I think if you're getting intimate with someone then they deserve a certain amount of respect, and that goes both ways. I wouldn't shame them for the way their body is (I'd feel so insecure if some guy was like your boobs are too …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 11:19 PM
16

6 months single. I don't miss compromising on what to watch on Netflix. I don't miss considering whether he could afford whatever we were doing I don't miss the fact that he never had breakfast food at his place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 11:10 PM
38

They might want free flights. I would take it off my profile to be honest. It's not your fault men want to use you, but be careful =\
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 11:06 PM
6

This just makes me sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 11:03 PM
10

Lol omg are you me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 10:52 PM
6

You shouldn't have to. We should absolutely be prioritizing research and discovery. Oh well. Hopefully that changes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 08:25 PM
4

Sorry I can't tell by the way you said it - do guys expect you to split there?.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:47 PM
9

For real. Two friends of mine have PhDs in chem and and the other in bio. They can't find work in their field above 40k, so they're doing BOOKKEEPPING.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:34 PM
14

So I visited that page and there were different responses: "Split it" "Go for walks." "Go for coffee - $3" "Go for iced cream - $5" "That's too many first dates per week, go on less." "Stop getting girls in 'fun mode' with alcohol, because they're more likely to regret it and not actually sleep with you for you (paraphrased). Damn how rare is it for men to straight up ask you out for a dinner date on apps? Is it really that much of a struggle? I feel like I would be so much better at asking wome…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:16 PM
5

Well, I don't know if this directly applies but my mom yelled at me so much. We had a lot of fights about this when I lived with her. She'd get frustrated and think it was appropriate to yell to express that frustration. I never thought that was ok and she thought it was a legitimate way to express frustration. I told her that just because she put up with yelling in her marriage and with her parents didn't mean I had to. She thought I was being unreasonable. From an FDS mindset, her boundaries w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:30 AM
8

If you're confused then he's not interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:24 AM
27

There's no such thing as too picky. Attraction isn't a negotiation. Attraction is inherently discriminatory. Never feel bad for your preferences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:23 AM
12

This sounds like something that's wrong with you. If your boyfriend has given you reason to suspect he's cheating, that's onr thing. I'm pro-snooping especially if it's a gut feeling. And I believe men cheat alot. But this sounds like small unnecessary things are holding you back from trusting rather than him being the source of the reason not to trust. That's honestly not fair to either of you. I think you need therapy. You've identified you have trust issues and that's a great place to start. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:16 AM
180

I actually think this is great. You're not coming off as having an attitude of superiority, but you're also refusing to spoon feed him on how to date. And, you're being completely honest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:09 AM
6

He is a dwarf. Not like someone with dwarfism, but like a dwarf out of a fantasy novel. Just give him a pickaxe and it's an exact match.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:07 AM
49

Lmaooooo. How disconnected is this person from reality. It's like... My girlfriend's favourite animal is a frog, so I bought a dead frog for her birthday. I feel like I still put thought and money into it, so she should still be grateful, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:04 AM
5

Yeah but they are still connected through their work place right? It's not just a rando off a dating app, and IMO, I'd want to look as favourably as possible to HR. The fact is, he did help her before it got weird. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that, and it can only help outsider's perception of her to remain polite in the context of talking to a work colleague. If he wasn't a work colleague, I'd agree with you and go further and say she should just block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 01:20 AM
2

You made the right call. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 10:15 PM
11

Yeah I firmly disagree with this. I think of the genuinely attractive men in my life and they're all very respectful people. Perhaps it's true some of the time that some women like assholes, but I think even then, the majority of the time they fall into 2 categories: women who haven't learned the guy they're seeing is an asshole yet they're unstable and addicted to the highs and lows of toxic relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 10:14 PM
8

I would definitely block someone like this if it weren't for work. I might text something very clear. "Hey Creepyworkguy, I've appreciated your help navigating thing's at work. I've noticed recently that we text about a lot of non work things, and I don't want to do that. Please reserve contacting me only for work related reasons." If you say this explicitly it gives you a good trail. I'd probably phone someone at HR if you can.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 10:07 PM
2

Yeah it feels super awkward you're not alone. It's like going to the dentist - someone poking and prodding areas that you rarely let people touch, and they are literally evaluating how things are, and even though it's for own health it dies still feel invasive. But of course it's even more foreign for paps. You're not prudish, you're private. That's entirely your choice. However it's good that for your own health you've gotten taken care of 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 10:01 PM
12

To be fair, I think it's a combination of a sunk cost fallacy and cognitive dissonance. It's literally that she's not mentally strong enough to accept the reality because of how much she has invested. I'm not excusing her, but I see her as a combination of victim of his lies and manipulation and just plain old stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 09:57 PM
2

Unless you're job is literally coal mining or construction, why would I have any more sympathy for this? Be both work desk jobs but I'm supposed to be understanding of yours?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:36 PM
18

Age: -2 years to +5 years Must be an atheist. Must work out. No one over weight Career I'm not picky about, but you need to not be a liability; you need to be earning enough to support yourself while not being in debt or being supported by or living with family. must not want or have kids must be okay with my dogs. I prefer a guy with no cats but it's not a deal breaker. must generally be left leaning. We don't have to agree on everything, but there's no way I'd date a man who didn't believe in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:27 PM
22

I can tell you. I grew up Catholic where anything sexual was terrible and never discussed. So when you hear people saying "Just let women do what they want with their bodies." It's simple and effective after growing up around so much sexual repression and needless shame. Sex IS normal and it's normal for people to want it. Justifying a lot of sexual things makes a lot of sense if you say "If both people agree, what's wrong with it? Stop being such a prude and shaming women." For years, the conve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 05:22 AM
7

Probably seeing what they can get away with. So like say 90% of women don't let it slide, the 10% that do let it slide are probably "cool girls" and easier to manipulate. Fail most of your matches, but only to make sure you only get the ones that are comfortable being walked over and demeaned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 05:16 AM
9

For real. My cousins can show off their husbands at Christmas as much as they want. But their Christmas gifts were once onion peelers and a bike helmet (in the winter).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 05:13 AM
1

So like... He says being selfish in bed got his ex wife to come 5 times. Allegedly. But she's an ex wife right? So obviously something went wrong enough that he probably doesn't have shit figured out as much as he thinks he does. Like, putting aside the misogyny and the fact that most of this is probably something that he masterbated to the thought of rather than actually did... Like even according to him it's apparently not enough to make a marriage work. Huh. Who would have thought.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 06:03 PM
8

I actually agree. This is definitely NSFW at the very least.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 05:49 PM
16

Who even wears heels they're so uncomfortable 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 05:47 PM
1

What do you think of this comedy song called "Lower Your Expectations" by No Burnham? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llGvsgN17CQ Some highlights: Towards women: You want a guy that's sweet, a guy that's tough A feminist who likes to pay for stuff The kind of guy that gets along with your friends Without being attracted to any of them A good boy, a bad boy; a good bad boy; A half good, half bad, half boy Loves your brothers, sensitive but not weak and Is a great lover, calls your mother on the w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 03:52 PM
3

I feel like they'd go lower if we're socially acceptable. If they put 18 it makes it look like they actually want younger. But if they go for someone just 2 years older there is plausible deniability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 05:54 PM
1

Don't feel pressured to improve, just settle for what you are. Wooooow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 04:04 PM
5

I'm not black and I don't know the cause or solution. I've been more cognizant of portrayal of black women in media lately. There definitely are certain stereotypes and that can have a negative impact on people's perception. I'm just rooting for things to get better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 04:00 PM
1

MY HOUSE. It belongs to the both of you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 03:57 PM
3

Holy fuck that is terrible and amazing all at once. You deserved a better life. None of this is your fault. I'm glad you're an adult with more control over their life now. I don't know that I have any meaningful advice but I'm rooting for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 02:34 PM
16

I think the best way to deal with this is the following: Him: send pics Me: has already internally rejected the guy Me: Sure. First though, I have to know, what's your favorite TV show? Him: Any response. Me: Oh wow. I can't match with a guy who likes THAT TV show. Block and delete. Just to screw with their heads a bit and make them feel like they lost something they never really had.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 02:22 PM
5

My perspective is that dating and relationships are optional to begin with. I think it takes a lot to really internalize that motto... We all know it to be true on an intellectual level, but I don't think all women make choices baring it in mind. Not dating anyone is totally an option. It's ok to choose not to date; at this point, online dating doesn't feel relevant at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 05:45 AM
3

Don't do it then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 02:23 AM
6

If you feel he's just challenging you because he's being defensive or contrarian, let him know that multiple guys you or your friends slept with couldn't stay hard during sex. They all watched porn. You looked it up, and it turns out that porn is linked to erectile dysfunction. If he's not having an honest, open minded conversation with you, then the only way to get him to care is about making him worry about his penis 🙄 If he's actually interested in a philosophical discussion about what makes …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 02:21 AM
10

Why are they so reluctant to call it a date? Like what's so hard about asking "I'm interested and I'd like to get to know you more. Can I take you out on a date? I've wanted to try this place."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 12:12 AM
9

My first thought.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 12:07 AM
9

I love being romantic. But I totes agree, most guys aren't worth the time and effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 11:58 PM
33

I come across as too eager. Rules for myself: let them text first (the hardest for me) my responses should be fewer characters than theirs let them have the last word. It'll test whether they try to prolong the conversation These are not necessarily tips I'd recommend to other people. I impose them on myself because I am over eager. I also like texting first because I'm lonely AF right now. Just got to reign it in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 02:19 AM
1

I tried literotica but it's actually terrible. Anyone can post. I can't get past grammatical errors. It's also divided so far into chapters. So if you find some good you might find parts 4 5 6 7 8 9 available and 1 2 3 are no where to be found so you don't know the context for the characters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 01:50 PM
19

In a world where girls can't get abortions, you have more children are born to teenage unmarried, poor, parents which is undesirable. In a world where underaged girls can't consent to sex, no older guys get to have sex with young girls. Like you don't have to write an essay to understand why we care about this shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 07:16 AM
4

It's funny how we are willing and ready to save our friends from this, but sometimes you're too close to your own situation to identify it as something you'd protect a friend from. This is why relationships with women are important. We look out for each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 06:25 AM
8

I'd you're 80-100 commited to a marriage you likely won't walk away if it's bad. I believe in divorce. It's there because people change... Or because people reveal who they are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 09:04 AM
6

I guess the female equivalent of men wanting an endless string of women to have sex with is women better learning how to filter men. Men get mad when we get picky I guess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 06:10 AM
2

You can't know if someone's HVM.. a lot of guys are potentially HVM, including this guy I'm crushing on... But it's Potential. It's not real. It's not known. Don't regret something you had no control over knowing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:53 PM
3

Wow I love this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 03:07 AM
68

I don't have a problem with BJs but I have a problem with bad sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 03:05 AM
5

Omg this sub should be way more popular!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 02:47 PM
10

I'm honestly even beyond this. I don't want someone to have to be sorry unless it's minor. It's not my responsibility to teach you how to behave. You should know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 09:31 PM
2

There isn't a link on the side bar 😬 did it get removed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 03:02 PM
28

So cringey!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 02:36 PM
25

Stuff like this happens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 01:00 PM
4

How do I get on the FDS discord? I'm really at a point where I could use some contact with like minded women so I don't backslide some of the progress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 12:03 AM
14

Yeah it's just... That comes in so many forms. Idk... Like... So many things have to line up for a guy to be a passable human for me to date. I'm in a really weird mood right now and I think I'm realizing I have 0 interest in men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:14 PM
7

Oh yeah. We lasted two weeks and I ended it because the sex was bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:13 PM
21

I mean it's nice to have a pleasant thought of someone attractive or nice. Unlike men I think women are far more capable at being friends. But I agree that time spent on it is not very productive. Prior to FDS I probably would have chased him. Now, I'm directing no effort towards progressing things with him. Given that I don't want to date at all, I'm not going to punish myself for having a crush lol. It is what it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:09 PM
9

Yeah. I knew he watched porn at the time, but I didn't know all the side effects and thought it was pretty normal. And look at that, his penis didn't work either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 09:03 PM
50

Even if you're wrong... Hypothetically. Pretend you can have a happily ever after with some guy who isn't smitten. Who wants to be with a person who is unsure? It's better to be wanted than settled for. This why, even though I've got a crush on this guy... Nothing will happen. If he's not trying his best, well then, why bother with him. He's not interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 08:52 PM
11

Shot in the dark - maybe it's like a Venmo thing, like "wire me money".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 08:46 PM
24

So like... I'm single. And I don't want kids. I'll be forever childless. But like... A guy I date could be someone with that sort of sexist view and just not share it with me because it would be irrelevant. I guess I'm terrified of ending up with an asshole and not being able to tell until well into the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 08:45 PM
17

The guy I dated with the biggest dick couldn't stay hard. What use is that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 08:39 PM
6

This guy sounds like he thinks good sex is humping faster. It's so cringey.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 02:01 PM
40

Well it's more like I had these views and everyone around me doubts what I say about relationships not being worth it. A lot of them are, but I'm not willing to wade through the trash of men to find a decent guy, I value my time more than that now. FDS is the only place that says things like fuck second chances, don't try to change him, don't bother communicating because he already knows, and most men are trash so it's ok not to date them. Everyone else just pushes relationships on me and it's l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 01:40 PM
4

This is why we need guys who are over 6 feet see? 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 01:35 PM
9

Not going to lie, that put a stupid grin on my face. Yeah... Look at me now, living and shit 😎
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 07:11 PM
10

I agree that marriage has more benefits to women with children than women without children; it secures at the very least that your ex is financially liable for child support and potentially alimony. That said I'm childfree and won't date someone if marriage isn't on the table. Basically yes, as a sign of intending life long commitment. Just because I don't want kids doesn't mean I'm ok with just being a girlfriend for the rest of my life. I want more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 06:24 PM
14

Send them some of the memes by top of all time. Like that one of the guy asking for pussy pics and the girl sending his face back. Send a few over a couple weeks and then mention that you got them from a subreddit about tips for dating for women. If they're curious, explain some more, if they're not, dont reveal how much you know about the subreddit. I would never publicly call men scrotes or publicly say most men are shit. That can come back to haunt you. If they don't like what they see, it's …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 06:13 PM
2

Good morning no, but something before bed, often to confirm plans for the next day or something sweet yeah. I mean it's never been a requirement but it's something that's almost always happened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 06:09 PM
27

I tried friends with benefits once. I developed feelings for a man that I had no business developing feelings for. Don't do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 05:59 PM
12

Saying you don't have a mortgage is only impressive if you own your home... If you don't own a home it sounds like you're bragging about not owning property.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 02:08 PM
8

So in the case I wouldn't block and delete immediately. I'd carry on the conversation a little bit more so that he wouldn't know that was gross. Let the trash take itself out. Don't tell men this is off-putting. Let them voluntarily week themselves out. let him be confused about what went wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 01:14 PM
24

A friend of mine bad a cake like this for someone's divorce party. But instead of the video game stuff the wife was dragging him to sit with garbage bags. She's a talented woman. She was a programmer and made enough money to retire at 50 and now has a decorative cake business like this. She does it from time to time because she enjoys it, not because she needs the money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 01:11 PM
5

Definitely works out. That one thing shows a lot. Motivation, consistency, long term thinking, plus they are probably more attractive. But it's just one among many things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 03:18 AM
3

What????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 03:10 AM
6

That's a good perspective, I'll think of it this way now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 03:09 AM
6

Personally I think it's about effort. I've told guys what works for me and they do it and it works. I've also had a guy who couldn't stay hard. I wouldn't work on that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 09:41 PM
2

I wouldn't do that to be honest. It looks a bit obsessive to track that, even if I totally agree with the way you're thinking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 06:21 PM
12

You take comfort that you know better now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 06:18 PM
31

"lol I'm desperate"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 06:14 PM
129

Being too picky is only valid if a relationship is a must have. Once you truly don't care if you're in a relationship or not, you're free to be as picky as you want. It's like... Being hungry. If you're starving, you'll settle for anything with calories, just like some women settle for men that are garbage. But, if you're not starving, if you're generally well fed and patient, then you can hold out for something tasty and healthy. Don't view relationships as requirements. They're entirely option…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 05:57 PM
2

I'd probably go for something generic. "I'm looking to meet new people and see how things go." I agree that if you say you want a relationship, they might just parrot it back to get into your pants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 02:59 PM
2

Yeah I definitely got formally asked out more in high school. As an adult it's definitely less common.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 02:54 PM
2

I don't. I realize that I'm human and it's normal to want it. But then I remind myself that all men have served to make me less happy in the long term. Feeling lonely on occasion is the price I pay to guarantee I'm happier. Just like, allowing a craving for ice cream to pass because I know it's not good for me, so I allow the craving to pass and then eat something healthier. I'm sure there are men who would make my life significantly brighter by being in it. But a lot of them are probably alread…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 02:48 PM
2

This is my personal opinion, but, I don't think it's mentally healthy to have "be in a relationship" as a goal. I think it makes you less likely to walk away and more likely to settle. So far, it seems like you've done a good job at avoiding that which is good. My opinion: if dating isn't making you happy, redirect that effort into something that does. The reason dating isn't as good of an experience is because a lot of men are really shitty. I will join you in cursing at the wind there lol. The…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 02:35 PM
14

Depends how serious you are in my opinion. If you've only been seeing him a couple of weeks I'd say be respectful but be careful not to invest too much into someone you're not even in a relationship with. He's grieving and that's normal. He needs space to heal and console his family friends and those who knew his grandmother. That's reason enough to give him space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 04:14 AM
43

I've just been lucky and dated guys who didn't want kids. It's a hard no for me. No for an idealogical reason, I'm just not interested in kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 03:54 AM
24

It's like Sansa Stark. "I'm a slow learner. But... I learn." I don't even think it's a negative thing (or "slow learning") that women often want to give people the benefit of the doubt - it comes from a place of optimism, of wanting to believe and expecting the best of that person. Trusting isn't a failure of the optimist. We have to be guarded because the world is full of shitty people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 02:06 AM
36

My exes didn't even ask for all the hoodies back that I stole... This is just sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 10:49 PM
0

If I wanted kids, getting married would be a requirement first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 10:44 PM
1

Exactly. I'm not concerned with being "fair" about who I give my time to. Fairness in that regard is determined by me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 10:38 PM
34

Personally I am in favor of explicitly saying "please do not contact me, I do not want to hear from you." Through text before blocking. Reason? It's easier to prove its harassment if you have been explicit, in the event that it ever escalates in the future. That's just my personal preference. Either way, an explanation is not needed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 07:55 PM
10

But also: either we get criticized for wanting to change men, or criticized for not staying to help them improve. There's no winning. So just do the best for you, not him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 07:50 PM
6

It's easier do start something new than build something that's already broken.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 07:49 PM
14

I get attention. A lot. But it's never, hey MuffinvsRat, can I take you out to dinner? I'm interested in getting to know you more. It's just texting and flirting and attempts at sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 04:27 PM
1

I with that but it's so hard to change 😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 04:25 PM
17

I was a forever girlfriend. It came to this: I could give him an ultimatum or be unsatisfied. And I didn't want to have to coerce someone into marrying me. I wanted someone to want it. So now, if I get serious with someone, I'll be clear that marriage matters to me and I'd leave relationships that weren't progressing in that direction within a year. The hard part is being willing to walk away. The thing is though, it's just disappointing to stay, even if staying is comfortable. Don't settle for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 09:14 AM
6

Work around: Get dog spray to use as mace. It's usually legal to have dog spray or bear spray even in places where pepper spray is banned. I've also told several friends to send me coyote pics if they ever cross them. Help to grow the story that you were actually afraid of coyotes but if you get attacked it's just self defense. I was given this advice by a cop, a family member. In my state pepper spray is illegal but he said that no cop on his right mind would do anything other than give you a t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 09:07 AM
35

Well. My issue is that no one asks me out. I'm decent looking, nice. I put myself in situations to meet new people, mostly hobbies, and I've only been asked out 5-6 times in my life and half of that was in high school.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 08:55 AM
1

I don't think things were necessarily that much better before dating apps. It's not like the world was a blissful idealistic place for dating and then dating apps came along. Men had to be put in more effort for attention but I think that's fighting a losing battle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 08:17 AM
1

Woooow dump him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 06:50 AM
5

It's not impossible, but it's very unlikely. It's easier if there's some kind of sexual barrier (he's gay, or in a relationship and very loyal). Here's how I see it. Men, in general, are a gamble. Sometimes things work with them and sometimes they don't. Maybe, 2% of the time, of 5% of the time, a man and a woman can have a purely plutonic long lasting friendship. It's NOT impossible. But like.. do I want to waste my time on a 2% chance? Or less? I personally believe it's less. Why are you going…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 06:47 AM
14

I come hear daily to hear this so that I don't count my chickens before they've hatched. If a guy is into me, he'll make it clear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 06:25 AM
3

1000% This hits home. One guy I was talking to a lot gave me bad vibes. I cut him off. Found out he was involved in not so great drama. Trust your instincts. Be picky. Not giving someone a chance is ok.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 06:23 AM
12

"I can only fuck food and toys because they can't say no - gotcha!" ??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:45 PM
25

I'm not middle Eastern but a lot of my friends are. IDK I almost feel guilty saying it because it feels slightly racist... But I still think it's true! So much so that I don't think I'd ever give a middle Eastern guy a chance to be honest... I know attraction is inherently discriminatory but I guess I have some guilt about race being involved in that. If I were to share this thought with any friends I'd just get the usual "judge the individual" stuff, but I truly don't see the point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 04:04 PM
1

Exactly. I'm glad someone brought this up. Their fragile egos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 03:46 PM
1

Theoretically I'd love the male equivalent of a male housewife. I never have to cook or clean or shop and i have someone supportive of me as I pursue my career and increase my earning potential? That's a deal, honestly. But I totes agree, I don't think I could trust a guy enough with this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 03:46 PM
35

Is it terrible to say that this sort of thing makes me never trust middle Eastern dudes? The culture is misogynistic. Even if you weren't born there, if your parents were, I get much doubt that that has little effect on your views of women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 03:39 PM
126

Rip Corey 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 03:35 PM
40

"ignore her, she'll come to you" seems like the make equivalent of advice in Cosmo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 03:07 PM
4

I think that's really selfless. Good good you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 01:33 PM
2

I BELIEVE IN YOU. Do you believe you deserve better? Because everyone on this subreddit already knows you deserve better. You're asking us because you know you'll get the response you need to hear: dumping an LVM is good for you, and you should be doing what's good for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:29 AM
4

I know it's tempting to engage in online fights to explore ideas, but it's not really worth it. It's rare to change someone's mind as it is, and gender debates are even less likely to be productive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:27 AM
21

Men are so thirsty. They don't even feel shame going after someone vulnerable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:24 AM
5

You can't make people change. I only give advice when I'm asked for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:23 AM
123

Incels are men who are involuntarily celibate. FDS literally says to be very selective in who you sleep with while dating a whole bunch of guys. I could personally call dozens of men right now and they'd love the chance to sleep with me. I could probably go on Tinder, post a low effort post with a bit of cleavage, and get hundreds of matches. FDS reinforces that you should be picky as hell and not settle. It's LITERALLY the opposite. I'm CHOOSING not to have sex with men because there are too ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:12 AM
2

I'm speechless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:05 AM
10

Yeah i understand. In theory, with a man deciding dating isn't for them, no one would care, that is tame and uncontroversial. My point was that it's much more than that, imo, because they hate women, often because they can't get laid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 06:25 AM
18

Only slightly related, but has anyone had a high effort Covid date at all? If so what happened?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 05:54 AM
28

I see the overlap (though I don't agree it's as extreme as portrayed in that post) except, FDS comes from a place where women are tired of being taken advantage of, and MGTOW is men that are frustrated that they can't take advantage of women. What do women on FDS really want from men, if they want anything from men at all? Someone kind, that they're attracted to, who respects them, to build a life with as a partner and equal. Someone who puts in effort and is thoughtful and generous. What do MGT…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 05:45 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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