Lately I've been seeing a lot of posts that are either stated to be taken directly from the manosphere (usually TRP), or that are not stated as such but from the language clearly are. These include general hateful comments about women, clips of "advice" these losers are sharing on their subs, and other general misogyny.

Invariably there is a comment chain full of comments like:

  • "How can I avoid guys like this in real life??"

  • "These guys are so manipulative."

  • "This is terrifying."

I know I'm not a mod here, and am just a newbie, but as someone with extensive manosphere experience, I don't see what place any of this has on FDS.

What Manosphere Posts on FDS Purport To Do:

Purported Purpose Why the Purpose Doesn't Actually Make Sense Ways This is Detrimental
Raise awareness about TRP/PUA "strategies." Their strategies are incredibly simplistic. Most LVM use them anyway without realizing it because they are very obvious strategies; merely a combination of the most basic of observational human psychology with a dash of societal misogyny working in their favor. We as women could easily switch up the sex dynamics of this and use almost all of the same principals in our own lives if we were as badly motivated as manosphere guys, and frankly we'd be better at it. The most basic of common sense will keep TRP guys far, far away. If a lady is already on FDS and even following the most basic tenants, TRP guys won't even make it to a first date. Furthermore, most TRP guys cannot keep their mouths shut in real life and brag directly to the women they are "dating" about it (I speak from experience). Therefore, FDS "raising awareness" about them is wholly redundant. The comment chains make it sound like these guys are the next Einsteins. Women here are writing comments about how they are quaking in their boots over this ridiculousness. It gives WAY too much credit to men, and by blowing this "threat" out of proportion, we are probably making new members way more afraid of these men than they should be. The amount of fear any of us should have for men apart from raw physical violence is 0. The vast majority of TRP men are too cowardly to ever enact physical violence. If anything, it's the incels we should be "worried" about, but even the incels who have actually been violent is such a low percentage that we should really be focusing our efforts on other things.
Demonstrate how much the men in these subreddits, men in general, reddit, and the world at large despise women. This is FDS. We already know how much women, and particularly women like us, are hated. We have lots of other posts each and every day discussing how much men and the world hate us. I don't think manosphere posts are filling any kind of gap in this area. Some of us come here for a break from all that. I can log onto Twitter, go to a different subreddit, or heck, even look at memes on Instagram and be reminded of how many vile scrotes want me dead, or at least feel entitled to use me as an indentured bangmaid. FDS should be the one place on the internet that has less of that than other places, in my opinion.
Share feelings of horror that the poster had when stumbling across this content. As upsetting as these posts can be, I don't think that it is fair to burden other FDS members with having to look at them. It's your choice to lurk in manosphere subs. I used to do so myself, but quickly learned it was just outrage fuel and there was nothing useful to be learned there. Like I said above, they are not doing anything interesting or even vaguely intelligent or effective. They are using the most basic of basic human psychology coupled with cultural misogyny to abuse young women who hate themselves. There will always be young women who hate themselves, and abusers will always abuse them, whether there's a subreddit or not. I do not mean the following in a condescending way at all, though it might sound like it: if you are continuing to lurk in manosphere subs, you should be prepared to be upset at what you read. A lot of them write this stuff fantasizing that an FDS lady will read it and get upset. They love to upset women in general, and particular unattainable women like us. So of course it will be upsetting, not because they are masterminds of the written word, but because people are pretty easy to upset if you say something shocking or mean or even vaguely unflattering about them. (Just look how upset men get at innocuous feminist posts, and those aren't even written to insult anyone.) I would recommend that instead of sharing your findings here, to stop visiting those subs, or to process it with a therapist or a diary if you feel the need to continue to look. It is much more productive and harms fewer people. Sharing these posts creates a boogeyman. The more unwarranted fear women have of men, the more men have power over us. We talk about it all the time on this sub, so I don't know why this rule is never brought up when discussing manosphere posts. Again, if manosphere dudes were any kind of material threat, then I would understand, since we do share safety tips, but the only threat from a manosphere guy occurs if you entertain him for one second, and they show red flags everywhere. They're actually easier to spot than most abusers because they are clumsily trying out their abuse tactics from day one. And remember, most of them are right at inceldom's door, so most of them will have a plethora of other issues that will keep them away from you as long as you have any standards at all.

This is why I would like to request that the mods restrict manosphere posts. Personally, I would like to see a Manosphere Mondays, where Monday is the only day of the week when people are allowed to post about it. But that's probably too extreme. You could do one day of the week where they're not allowed. OR you could allow manosphere posts as long as the OP includes a comment explaining why it adds value to the sub.

I know the mods do a lot and it's easy for me to sit here writing suggestions, but I think this one is important. I don't like seeing queens lose their crowns every time a manosphere post comes up. We're better than that.

Note: If after this is discussed, there are still women (I'd imagine younger women) who want to know about manosphere strategies, I also think it could be a good idea to add a page or two in the handbook to dismantle this nonsense once and for all. I picture it like a table: We list each component of TRP/PUA philosophy (they are essentially the same thing, but we could do each one separately if you want), and for each component, we explain how they expect it to work, and then explain which component of FDS makes it totally irrelevant to our lives. It would showcase the value of FDS to newbies worried about manosphere bros in a really concise way, and maybe it would quench the manosphere panic that tends to crop up each time someone posts about it.