Thinking about how many times “just communicate” has been used on me to boundary push.

Dating situations where men showed disrespect- other women asking me: “Well did you communicate? Did you tell him that’s not alright???” about shit that was outrageous and any grown adult knows is disrespect.

Workplace ive been gaslit with it time and time again by touchy feely female admins.

Situation where another coworker was calling me retarded and bipolar loudly for me to overhear, I took it to admin and a sit down was had. Did you tell her how that makes you feel??? Turn to her and tell her you don’t like that. 🙄

No shit. She was doing it purposely for me to be offended by. And you’re sitting hs down telling me to turn to her and communicate that it doesn’t make me feel good??

Left the job because no action was taken. Our admin who id been to 4x about the problem reposted it with NEEDS TO KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH OTHER STAFF AND ATTORNEYS WELL.

Implying I was responsible for how things turned out for not having spoken up enough.

As an introvert this is something that’s constantly being pushed on me even when i’ve been very clear.

Oh she’s just so mousy she must not have told them better. Usually I’ve been beyond clear and people are thinking they can twist and turn me how that want, smiling smugly right in my face when i communicate. So obviously thinking “she not gonna do nothing”. But i hate how people make these assumptions that throw others poor behavior back on me just because i’m quiet. That it must be my fault because i’m the kind of person who would’ve been too scared to cOmMuNiCaTe

Further, Should I really need to communicate to someone damn near retirement that you don’t use mental health slurs in the office. She knew damn well she shouldn’t be doing it and THEY knew she knew.

Female administrators use it a TON in the office to put the burden on you to try and control others actions and take the responsibility off them for putting lazy, abusive and inappropriate people in line. Sexual harassment? Well you need to learn to work with others- you haven’t communicated with him on it. Why are you coming to us? Big smug ugly smile. That’s your problem....

In actuality they’re too cowardly and lame to confront it themselves which is their JOB so they try to make it seem like a deficiency in your social skills and ability to interact with others that you need to work on. Thus getting it off their plate and shaming you enough not to come back

Nothing but a gaslight and redirect to absolve the real culprits of responsibility in every area of life