Dating in the app age

_linay · 2020-02-14T04:00:31+00:00

The age of the connected yet super disconnected.

bentleysoverbfs · 2020-02-14T04:38:28+00:00

I would LOVE to do a study/some researh on how OLD has changed dating. The advice that I get from older women just doesn't apply to the men I'm meeting

Uglyoldncranky1982 · 2020-02-14T04:44:10+00:00

Hm, I think the apps are a symptom of a problem rather than the creators of the trend. People these days are very much averse to risk. More so than I've ever seen. Perhaps it's coming of age after 9/11, the great recession, etc 🤷‍♀️. To give of yourself emotionally is a risk. You can really get hurt. Family? Another risk. You get tied to something. When relationships are about "personal fulfillment " they are going to be unstable. No one can fulfill you.

In my own life, relationships have never worked out well for me. I've turned into an avoidant. It usually ended with my getting cheated on with some quip about how I should have expected it or they were settling until someone hotter came along. So in my case, it's not so much that the apps fuel my beahvior, rather I bring that avoidant beahvior already and the app facilitates it. I may not be making sense, sorry.

Sarahthegreen · 2020-02-14T05:20:14+00:00

Have apps made it worse? Is it worse than the bar scene was? How much of it is due to people living in big cities? On the one hand it's harder to meet people and get to know them. On the other hand it's so easy to only hang out with people who are very like-minded and therefore have less experience connecting with people who are different.

You grow up in a small town or other small community and connecting with other people is very different. The way people socialize in general is very different, because you have to find activities a wide variety of people can do together if you want to socialize at all. So perhaps people in cities expect to have more in common with potential partners than they would in a small community.

(I did not grow up in a small town, but spent summers at a lake where there were very few kids to hang out with so we had to pick activities that suited a range of ages and interests. I don't know how many city kids have that experience. People talk about inclusiveness then hang out in cliques. Exception: I had a Mormon roommate once and I noticed that the Mormons in my city are like a small town - they really take care of each other.)

Title	Dating in the app age
Author	luvmyvulvaxoxo
Upvotes	39
Comments	5
Date	February 14, 2020 2:37 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f3lhn5/dating_in_the_app_age/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dating-in-the-app-age.682612 https://theredarchive.com/post/682612

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