Does anyone else in this group also identify as demisexual?

nruthh · 2020-01-01T20:24:46+00:00

I used to identify as demisexual before I realized literally that’s just normal human sexual behavior and doesn’t need its own label. I’m also bisexual, so I’ve struggled with actual human sexuality that suffers from societal misunderstanding and oppression and bigotry. Demisexuality isn’t really a thing — literally everyone falls on the spectrum of “demisexual,” which makes it not its own category but just “human sexuality.”

penelopekitty · 2020-01-01T20:12:23+00:00

Not a thing. This used to be what was considered normal.

fdsthrowaway · 2020-01-01T20:25:33+00:00

demisexulaity is a sexual attraction where a person eels sexual attraction only to people they have developed an emotional bond to

But isn’t this like the default? We want to have sex with people we have an emotional bond with?

I feel like modern hookup culture, rape culture and the patriarchy are trying convince women that a perfectly natural and normal part a human sexuality - Sex comes with an emotional bond! - is somehow a “queer identity”. It’s not.

I’m not here to tell you you’re not demisexual. Turns out I’m demisexual too. Everyone is. But I encourage you to think more about why “demisexual” is a thing, and how “queer identity” affects the LGB community. With love!

Ms_Tilly · 2020-01-01T19:16:04+00:00

I had to look that up. Sometimes I feel a strong, sexual chemistry just from a biological standpoint. They can be overweight and ugly and I can still feel it. I remember going through separation with my ex husband and pretty much hating his guts, but one time I got near him casually and felt that old biological, sexual pull and walked away from him fast. I was too disgusted with him to want him mentally, but my body was ok with it.

Now I would rather become sexually interested because of an emotional bond and I have had this happen before too. I worked with a guy and thought he was gay. He was so extra and his voice was kind of feminine. Turns out he was insanely artistic in all kinds of ways. Like a savant. I didn't find him particularly attractive. But he asked me out one day and I thought WHY NOT. We had such a strong emotional connection from that date that the sexual interest started showing itself. By the next date I was ready to rip his clothes off. We dated for a couple years but he turned out to be nuts. We're still friends and he's still nuts. So funny though.

So I'm not demisexual per se, but I do love when a strong emotional connection starts giving me interest in them sexually. But I also love that strong chemistry I can feel around strange men. It feels animalistic.

fanofswords · 2020-01-01T20:53:04+00:00

I have a friend who told me she was demi as well but I would argue this is normal female sexuality. You're normal. Most women except a small 20-30% don't feel that attracted to those they don't have an emotional bond with. I suspect that is why the rate of orgasm in casual sex is so low. I might look at people as attractive but there is 0 chance I will sleep with them if I don't have a bond with them. In a world in which American society has privileged only a small group of women( those 20-30%) who love casual sex, everyone else feels like they are defective. Why can't I sleep with a stranger like empowered Susan who claims that women can have casual sex just like men do? But reality is Susan is a small minority not a majority, You're not demi, you're normal. This is how most women feel.

mydeepestinnerworks · 2020-01-01T21:24:09+00:00

I don’t think demisexuality is a thing. Its nothing different or unique. I don’t think it should have a term if its own.

throwaway1378420 · 2020-01-01T21:39:29+00:00

here we go again with bullshit identities made by straight people who want to be special. this and sapiosexual are not sexualities.

penelopekitty · 2020-01-01T20:31:09+00:00

[deleted]

Title	Does anyone else in this group also identify as demisexual?
Author	JT_thebrat_LaRoux
Upvotes	2
Comments	24
Date	January 1, 2020 6:50 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/eilyjj/does_anyone_else_in_this_group_also_identify_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/does-anyone-else-in-this-group-also-identify-as.685792 https://theredarchive.com/post/685792

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