Hi ladies,

I am a recovering pickmesha with a history of being abused/lied to/abandoned, and am now trudging through trauma, codependent tendencies, and unlearning behaviors as I learn what is healthy and how to speak up for myself.

I truly believe I have found a HVM, however, I have an instinctive anxious reaction whenever he asks for/wants a bit of space to do his own thing; i.e. hobbies or a night to himself.

I've never had a HVM before-- how do they express they want some time to themselves and how often should two people in a relationship (that is moving at a normal pace towards marriage) be together and apart? I know it's different for every person, I'm mostly interested in healthy expressions of wanting alone time. I'm unsure how to give space because I'm still in the stage where it feels like if I give it, I'll be taken advantage of. I'm in frequent therapy, but wish I had some male examples to learn from.