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eveninghope Archive

View 55 posts and 892 comments by eveninghope on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
3440

FDS HUMOReveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 02:11 PM
2630

FDS HUMOReveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 04:12 PM
1888

FDS HUMOReveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 09:07 PM
1276

FDS HUMOReveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:13 AM
1143

FDS HUMOReveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 02:06 PM
900

FDS HUMOReveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 08:16 PM
574

#KickHimOut2020eveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 12:39 AM
524

MINDSET SHIFTeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 02:38 PM
346

LIES MEN TELLeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 01:45 PM
317

FDS HUMOReveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 01:19 PM
309

RANTeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 07:28 PM
281

#JustLVMThingseveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 04:34 AM
252

LIES MEN TELLeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:56 PM
249

MALE DEPRAVITYeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 04:24 AM
207

STAY WOKEeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 08:41 PM
205

GLOBAL RESISTANCEeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:34 AM
167

REMINDER 👑eveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 03:38 PM
167

ROAST-A-SCROTEeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 04:31 PM
146

RANTeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 02:27 AM
144

LEVEL UPeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:31 AM
143

FDS MEMESeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 01:59 PM
141

STAY WOKEeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 04:38 PM
141

SOCIAL GROUP STRATEGYeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 04:24 PM
138

THINGS SCROTES SAYeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 11:41 PM
130

#JustLVMThingseveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 06:49 PM
129

LEVEL UPeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 04:26 AM
122

FDS TRANSLATES MENeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 11:35 PM
111

NAH, SISeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 03:33 PM
103

DISCUSSIONeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 03:25 PM
94

GLOBAL RESISTANCEeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:46 PM
89

eveninghope/r/askFDS23/12/20 09:55 PM
81

FDS HUMOReveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 02:36 PM
72

NAH, SISeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 03:29 AM
66

NICE FOR WHAT?eveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 05:18 PM
56

DISCUSSIONeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 04:15 PM
53

FDS MEMESeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 04:38 AM
48

STAY WOKEeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 09:40 PM
47

NAH, SISeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 05:35 PM
45

MALE DEPRAVITYeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 05:06 PM
40

MALE DEPRAVITYeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 01:44 PM
36

PORN SICK, LIMP DICKeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 08:58 PM
35

FDS ANTHEM 🎶eveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 03:10 AM
34

STAY WOKEeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 04:27 PM
21

DISCUSSIONeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 12:32 AM
14

SHOWER THOUGHTeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 03:39 PM
13

FDS MEMESeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 04:40 PM
12

FDS ANTHEM 🎶eveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 03:54 AM
10

STAY WOKEeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 04:07 PM
1

FDS HUMOReveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 10:47 PM
1

GLOBAL RESISTANCEeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 01:25 PM
1

FDS HUMOReveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 05:29 AM
1

SHOWER THOUGHTeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 04:18 AM
1

SHOWER THOUGHTeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 09:39 PM
1

DISCUSSIONeveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 09:40 PM
1

Story time ☕eveninghope/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 03:46 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
23

I completely disagree. I usually don't nut 8.5/10 times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 05:17 PM
26

Ikr?? I so often see "FDS is basically TRP" in the wild and it's like they've never been here?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 04:17 PM
36

What are you missing from your own life that compels you to maintain this connection? A completely emotionally healthy person would realize this is fucked, decide she didn’t want to be treated like this and block/delete. Ask yourself what you got out of it and how to provide that to yourself.
/r/askFDS24/01/21 06:33 PM
11

Some people genuinely don’t like gifts. I’d just video call or even order a small treat/food for him if he’s into that? But if it’s not a big deal to him, don’t force it.
/r/askFDS21/01/21 12:28 PM
15

There’s a difference between “I’m really sorry this came up I know you’re disappointed let me make it up to you” and “stop being pissed your disappointment is invalid”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 01:05 AM
44

Have you ever received a long drawn out paragraph from a man? At the point where someone’s writing a whole ass paragraph, the other persons already checked out or is otw. Whenever I feel the urge to do it, I remember how I feel when men do it to me and how it, frankly, reinforces my apathy. At that point I usually realize it’s over and break up w them, but men will often string you along for physical benefits.
/r/askFDS15/01/21 02:15 AM
29

Any time a guy tells you you’re acting crazy is a red flag. It’s being dismissive of your concerns. Sure, maybe you’re in a situation where you suspect something but nothings actually happening, a HVM would take your concerns seriously anyway. Our emotions are telling us a need isn’t getting met. If he’s not willing to listen to you, he ain’t the one.
/r/askFDS14/01/21 07:50 PM
8

I love this. When I started to get tattoos people would be like what are you going to do about it when you’re older. Like I’m still gonna have them? Older women with tattoos look bomb af.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 03:53 AM
15

He seems terrible. Leave him. But also tough love time. You it also sounds like you have issues you need to work on.
/r/askFDS10/01/21 02:37 PM
28

How the hell does something so obviously satire get interpreted as “those FDSers are so dumb” ????? Honestly, CLEARLY no one believes this. Don’t Redditors pride themselves on being too logical for motivated reasoning? But mUh RaTiOnALitY.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 04:24 PM
6

I wouldn’t put in the energy to respond to that tbh
/r/askFDS08/01/21 03:51 AM
25

I mean it depends on how much you like him. W the guy I’m currently seeing, he was clingy for the first week, so I was basically like, hey this is a bit too much for me. We don’t have to talk all the time. And he actually changed the behavior immediately. I like him a lot though and we have a ton in common. Maybe something like, “I tend to be independent/want a lot of space/etc.” if he doesn’t change like, literally the next day, it’ll never change. But if you aren’t that into him, it’s prob not…
/r/askFDS07/01/21 07:45 PM
50

To me, if a guy comes off too clingy in the beginning, I’ll address it. If he doesn’t change or gets upset, I’d block. You don’t need that energy in your life. If they’re that connected early on they’re likely riding a false sense of intimacy anyway.
/r/askFDS07/01/21 07:26 PM
6

I tell guys I want them to be providers in that I don’t pay for most dates or drive, etc. but also I like men who cook and I don’t like cleaning up after other people. I also never choose a guy over my job. 🤷‍♀️
/r/askFDS06/01/21 06:04 PM
39

Do you want that? Then don’t date guys who open w Netflix and chill. It literally does not get better than what it is in the beginning.
/r/askFDS06/01/21 06:01 PM
19

Funny how we’ve all been in this relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:36 PM
18

Ladies, is it gay for your man to want to date you if you have strength?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 03:04 PM
73

Even male friends who just get into fitness, something I’ve been working at for like 20yrs, will try to mansplain at me shit they just learned and clearly know nothing about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 03:02 PM
54

I have a masters degree and almost done w my PhD in applied linguistics. I’ve also taught English language for ten years around the world. I do quantitative research. The number of guys who have mansplained random shit they think about language bc they took two semesters of a foreign language or anything about stats or international issues is insane. No, English does not only have five vowels. Nope, you should actually consider effect size and not just sample size. JFC yes prostitution in the de…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 02:57 PM
6

Any guy who claims to love pleasuring women does, in fact, not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 05:55 PM
10

I listened to a podcast on Jared Letos cult. Honestly wtf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 04:43 PM
12

It sounds like there’s a lot going on there. The problem is these people have replaced genuine mental health practices w this nonsense so you can’t convince them otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 04:41 PM
15

Teal Swan is a quasi cult leader
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 04:39 PM
53

Doesn’t even have the wherewithal to backtrack. The audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 04:20 PM
6

Lol this is four different guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 03:59 AM
32

Overly competitive underly creative
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 06:22 PM
12

Lmao YES. I honestly think they just sell them at the checkout line of sporting goods stores. So yknow, dudes checking out w the workout gear he’ll never use, might as well grab some sunglasses 😎
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 05:07 PM
18

Exactly. Your sunnies don't impress me as much as actual eyes, buddy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 04:52 PM
50

If I had a nickel for the number of times I explained to a male friend that being good at socializing/communicating takes practice, I'd have a whole other career.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 04:00 PM
7

Being scared to be alone doesn't make sense. You said you have friends and hobbies, so you won't really be alone. Get a roommate or a pet. Plus, being alone is actually awesome. I love being able to go do whatever I want to do without having to check or plan with a partner. There are men out there who will not only have your same moral standards, but also treat you how you want to be treated. If you leave, seriously talk to a therapist about reprogramming your attachment style. If you're general…
/r/askFDS25/12/20 05:38 PM
4

Ok, so in any situation where you're unhappy, you basically have three options: you can accept it, you can change it, or you can stay miserable. And that's not to say you can change him, right. You can change the situation. Right now it sounds like you're choosing to stay miserable since you're neither willing to accept the situation (he is who he is) NOR are you willing to change it. I'm not sure what else this subreddit can do for you.
/r/askFDS25/12/20 05:28 PM
7

Right. This one person cannot meet all of your needs. Do you have friends and hobbies? HOWEVER if you WANT to get married and he knows, HE IS STILL NOT MARRYING YOU. It's been 5yrs. He will NEVER marry you. Find someone who wants that.
/r/askFDS25/12/20 05:18 PM
2

Why him specifically? What did the therapist say?
/r/askFDS25/12/20 05:08 PM
69

Lmao this is not at all surprising. Gross, but not surprising. To Nazis, the "superior" races are "white" Europeans and "white" Asians bc development of civilization, technology, etc. For people who claim to be interested in history, they sure know very little about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 04:13 PM
4

I wanna be a little less pessimistic, but more cautious and realistic about this situation. Also, how old-ish are you btw? When I was in my early 20s, I was dating guy in the navy and moved out to where he was for two years. It was the height of the recession, so tbh there weren't any jobs anyway. This experience was miserable. Any girl I've met that's done the military wife thing (granted we weren't married so same same but worse) has absolutely hated it. Especially if you want some sort of car…
/r/askFDS25/12/20 04:04 PM
5

Women produce more oxytocin than men so we get more out of physical contact/socializing/etc.
/r/askFDS25/12/20 03:38 PM
2

If you want cuddles, get a weighted blanket and a body pillow.
/r/askFDS25/12/20 03:36 PM
8

Can you talk to a therapist? Were you ever into him? For me, adhd issues means I get bored/unhappy in relationships but I stick with them anyway and then get crushes on other men bc of the hits of dopamine. It does sound like you need to get out of this relationship if you want marriage and he doesn’t bc that proposal is not coming.
/r/askFDS25/12/20 03:33 PM
49

No need to feel ashamed. Shit like this happens to everyone. We’re programmed to want to fix them or to confuse pity with affection. If a guy has been rejected by every other woman, that def sets off my red flag detector. So just consider this lesson learned and forgive yourself. At least you have the wherewithal to not be responding to his texts now.
/r/askFDS25/12/20 02:33 PM
31

Yeah you’re right. Different lifestyles is like a general happiness red flag instead of a “this person is damaged” red flag. I’ve never really framed it like that.
/r/askFDS23/12/20 10:46 PM
18

Grit your teeth??? For a first date??? Girl take yourself out. You have all the time in the world.
/r/askFDS23/12/20 08:33 PM
36

Does it never occur to them that being taken care of is actually a turn on for lots of women? Like I’ve been attracted to men who I otherwise would not have been bc they put in some fucking effort. I’ve also been not attracted to classically “hot” men bc they act like this dbag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 04:39 PM
4

Yeah, the absolute privacy thing is so weird. I've never been in an LTR where phones were in anyway off limits. We didn't check each others shit or anything, but also it wasn't a big deal either way.
/r/askFDS17/12/20 04:46 AM
3

This is absolutely not normal. You'll find someone who isn't like this.
/r/askFDS17/12/20 04:44 AM
7

LMAOOO defs thought of you ladies watching this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 02:25 AM
9

Lmao the person who says they’re the same thing is fucking terrible at logic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 04:29 PM
157

Support👏women👏by👏ensuring👏they👏don’t 👏need👏to👏engage👏in👏sex👏work
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 04:18 PM
176

I used to be a lot more open about giving compliments to married male friends/acquaintances, but then realized even they take it in a way I DO. NOT. INTEND. I am naturally very effusive and love complimenting people, but have had so many bad experiences complimenting men, I just don’t anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 04:16 PM
22

Yeah I completely feel you on this. It's like bc everyone's stuck at home, men are like rabid animals when they even see a woman in public. Like, sure, I'd get catcalled by randoms in the before times. It sucks but easily ignorable. During COVID, I've been blatantly hollered at by men while they were working (delivery drivers, etc.) which never happened before. One guy catcalled me THEN FOLLOWED me down the street to make sure I heard??? The amount of male attention from even posting new profile…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 04:09 AM
3

1000% I think about this a lot. Also, I'm American, but brown, so touching people when I talk to them is just sort of culturally normal for me. I do it to everyone. But when I meet white American men, they ASSUME I'm hitting on them. It's absurd. At one point, a couple of my male friends met my brother, and my one friend goes, "so when you touch people you're really not flirting with them??" bc I would do that to my brother too. I was FLOORED that that was the automatic assumption. American men …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 02:15 AM
97

WHEN WILL THEY THINK OF THE MEN
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 01:54 AM
17

Lol no this is the old school way of doing it. When I was in high school through mid 20s, this got me every fucking time bc I was so goddamn naive. Like, oh cool I love movies, new friend, great! Then halfway though I'd realize this dude's hand was up my shirt or some shit. I'm in my mid 30s now and I'm still mad about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:27 AM
96

Heaven forbid >100k women have views on feminism that contradict those of the mods of that sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 12:20 AM
19

Honestly like why don't they think "yknow we're not sexually compatible, we should probably just break up" instead of "now it's time to coerce her into sex"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 04:05 PM
97

He doesn't say shit bc on some level he fucking LOVES that his friends think his wife's hot. This is how LVM are. They don't give a shit about you outside of flexing on their stupid friends. And 1000% if she defended herself, he'd be like, whoa he was joking don't be such a bitch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:51 PM
55

The absolute fucking audacity. The idea that that woman would even talk to these mouthbreathers is laughable. They're rating her on the "she'd ignore me in public so let's take her down a notch" scale.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:26 AM
9

God I saw this video. Sick to my stomach. Insane how we have to be afraid even in our own homes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:23 AM
75

How is "don't be so goddamn useless" that difficult to understand?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:16 AM
45

Right? I’m living my literal best life. I can travel spontaneously. My job is intellectually stimulating. I own my condo that has the perfect view of the skyline. I have a gorgeous wardrobe. I’m hot. I wake up every single day glad that I didn’t marry any of my ex’s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 05:20 AM
105

I’d rather raise a kid than a man tbh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 05:11 AM
34

omfg I had this convo w/ a guy I was talking to a couple mo back. At one point I made a comment how, statistically, women don't orgasm enough. And he was like, "that hasn't been my experience." Cut to weeks later, find out dude doesn't even eat pussy. I looked him dead in the eye and informed him that his partners are not, in fact, getting off. Good to know the dealbreakers early on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 02:59 AM
73

Same. I started having sex at 18, didn't have an orgasm til my first vibe at 21. Men are a waste.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 08:58 PM
19

I have never gone back to an ex but see my male friends do it all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 08:20 PM
35

I'm about to propose my dissertation, which is a big deal in academia. I've been super stressed about that and these two other huge projects. This guy I've been seeing for a couple months was like, hey when you're done with your thing maybe I can take you out somewhere to celebrate. I almost started crying. In the 6yrs I've been in grad school, neither of the other LTR guys have even thought to do anything for my accomplishments. I graduated from my MA program and my bf at the time hardly acknow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 03:25 PM
14

Girl see a therapist
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 03:18 PM
87

Yes. It's so freeing to have woken up to the fact that "looks don't matter" is patriarchal bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 09:33 PM
131

I have not once had to be told to keep in mind my partners orgasm. I have had to remind most of my partners about mine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 12:34 PM
9

Read the handbook. Don’t choose things that don’t choose you. Match effort. If he’s not trying to talk to you, use your energy to bond with friends who are. If he’s having some mental health issues, it’s not your business to wring it out of him. If that’s the case, he’s not mature enough to be in an ltr w you.
/r/askFDS27/11/20 02:41 AM
42

God I love men who are feminists /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 04:16 PM
14

Honestly now that I’m in my 30s, self care is getting work done early so I don’t have to feel the anxiety of doing shit last min or writing down important tasks do my brain can rest from trying to remember them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 11:39 AM
62

Men are literally more interested in dating women that will impress their friends than ones they're actually attracted to/compatible with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 12:34 AM
12

God this is basically phrenology.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 12:33 AM
16

Right to me "equal" means being treated with the same level of respect that you'd treat anyone else. So is he this shitty to everyone? Or does he just hate women? (Realistically all of the above.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 03:17 PM
40

Also, honestly, how just unattractive is it for a man to have been slutty? I mean, have some self-respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 03:15 PM
18

This has been my experience as well. My last two bfs were mixed (Mexican/white, Japanese/white) and it was just more culturally comfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 03:14 PM
48

I usually have my headphones in and when I'm out, I'm probably working at a café. So when a guy asks me a question EVEN WHEN I HAVE MY FUCKING HEADPHONES IN AND AM WORKING, I make a big fucking stink of having to take one of my headphones out. Like, I straight up do not acknowledge them at first. I'll even glance at them and make eye contact, then continue to ignore them. Because how fucking rude right? Then if they insist on getting my attention to ask me a question, I slowly pause my music, ta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 03:08 PM
9

I do the same thing actually. I work abroad for months at a time. For my life, a HVM would need to deal w that. But I often use that, or even just week long conferences, as excuses to ditch LVM. Like it’s not gonna work anyway so 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 02:55 PM
11

I honestly prefer solo travel bc of the freedoms. The couple times I’ve traveled w partners they’re so fucking useless I end up making all of the arrangements until I lose my shit bc of the stress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 02:52 PM
11

Yeah so I travel A LOT alone or w friends. Talk about projecting. I have never once actually hooked up with any of the guys at the hostel or locals bc honestly ew. You have no idea what diseases they might be carrying if they’re the sort of person to hook up w someone who’s traveling. And also 90% of the time I feel so gross, sweaty and exhausted I’m not even thinking about sex anyway. I actually went to Italy right before the pandemic and was breaking up w this lv ex right before that and his a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 02:44 PM
197

If my 34yo self could talk to my 22yo self.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 02:36 PM
152

Completely off topic, but I actually feel for those blobfish. They don't actually look so... weird, but when humans bring them to the surface their scales can't handle the change in pressure so they end up looking like that loser I used to date in college.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 10:42 PM
40

If a man has a problem with the natural shape of breasts, just throw him tf out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 10:39 PM
130

I'm not sure if this means that what she made wasn't heart-attack-y enough or just not penis shaped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 05:54 PM
38

Ah, yes I had a crazy exbf who, after we broke up, texted me dozens of times throughout the night so I would wake up to texts ranging from "you fucking stupid sl*t c*nt" to "baby I'm sorry I miss you." All in one night! Bruh pick a side. He then showed up at my place unannounced (obv) and only left me alone after I left the country for a week long holiday and I assume he met someone else to torment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 05:09 PM
13

I think the sheer number of women who have had terrible (if not traumatizing) age-gap relationships and FWBs and regret them with time is proof enough that this article is bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 05:16 PM
6

Is he military? I used to teach English in Korea. Those guys get there and absolutely hook up with everyone they possibly can.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 02:50 PM
28

Yeahhh, you're too good for me/I don't deserve you = I am genuinely a selfish person and will force you to put up with it without even considering changing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 01:52 AM
51

Low maintenance is a good one. Basically, "I don't feel like I have to put any effort into this."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 12:04 AM
65

if i walk into a guys house and he got trash everywhere i know ima leave so he can be with his kind
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 11:39 PM
89

In conclusion, why don’t men don’t want to be clean?! It’s so baffling to me. Why do they want to feel and look filthy and smelly? There is nothing better than feeling clean and fresh. I can never understand going more than 24hrs without showering. Like, we all have crotches and butt cracks right? THAT is compelling enough to wash every single day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 04:52 AM
163

bUsInEsSmAn
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 09:17 PM
18

I have not upvoted something so fast in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 07:20 PM
44

100% any woman with self-respect isn't going to tolerate a man who uses her as a mommybangmaid while paying 0 attention to her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 07:09 PM
74

So I used to play a game competitively when I was in college. Like, played on the pro circuit at one point. There's literally nothing that bashes the pickmeitis out of you faster than dealing with these guys on a peer/non-romantic level. I made it p clear from the beginning that I was not open to their sexual/romantic interests, but being around them I defs got to hear their unfiltered thoughts about women. Major turn off. Like, you can do all sorts of shit for a gamer guy, but he's literally ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 07:07 PM
6

The guy I'm currently dating has been seemingly HV so far (3mo in) but he does this sort of thing. He's the youngest son w/ an older sister (which, I'm the older sister and have a younger brother who's similar). But I've gotten into the habit of just calling him out when he does this thing. Just saying things like, "dude not everything's about you." He's gotten A LOT better about it too. Chances are he already knows he does this thing if he has close/honest friends. Because I'm the older sister …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 04:24 PM
8

I clicked on a thread that floated to r/all and loved the rest of the content.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 03:49 PM
97

But muh eyes are naturally glued to other women's asses babe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 03:47 PM
1

He doesn't even say "pair of knees" tho...???? Just misses from all directions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 03:45 PM
12

Yeah, it's definitely weird. It has "I'm not like other girls: hippy edition" vibes. I've also found that guys who actually have a poor sense of identity tend to be like, "oh I'm an intellectual" or other equally hilarious claims. So, I generally agree w other people saying people should show not tell, but I also wanna point out how self-involved these responses are. Is he self-oriented about other things? Does he tend to interpret things in how it affects him or personalize things that are comp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 03:43 PM
61

One thing I’ve been working on is how to listen generously and not take things personally. If you’re in a committed HV relationship, you can assume the guy likes you by default, so if he says that he says something about wanting alone time, my younger self would interpret it to mean he doesn’t like me or if a guy says “I like that dress” my younger self would wonder if he doesn’t like me in other clothes. But I realized that I also need alone time and like him in certain things but that doesn’t …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 02:58 PM
33

Honestly I have a feeling that once you get to know him the facade will fade and you’ll be like, wow so just another jackass. So go into it like meeting anyone else. He’s just a dude.
/r/askFDS13/11/20 06:20 PM
149

Google "divorce poverty gap." Actually, I'll also post a link to an article to new also.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 08:40 PM
85

It's insane that we've been brainwashed into thinking that (1) it's totes cool if your bf is constantly looking at other women bro just chill out, (2) mEn NEEEED tO lOoK bC MuH BiOLoGy and (3) if you have a problem w any of this you're a stuck up needy bitch and you're feelings are invalid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 06:07 PM
57

Honestly, a lot of these red flags are pretty clear signs of someone having emotional issues that ANYONE should be avoiding. These incels bitch and moan about how women are evil, but then drag women for warning each other about how actions represent serious mental health problems. Like maybe they should also be taking lists like this seriously instead of crying about it??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 06:21 PM
190

This incident was genuinely the best thing to come out of 2020.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 02:13 AM
95

JFC somebody pick her already!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 02:11 AM
12

Right wtf is that. I will never date a guy who “doesn’t support traditional gender roles in relationships.” Bc, practically speaking, it means he doesn’t work BUT wants a type A partner who is also hot and cooks/cleans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 07:14 PM
41

I've dated a couple aspiring musicians and they're just soooo sEnSiTiVE. I think people are drawn to certain careers for a reason. The guys I've met who are creatives do it bc they want to ExPreSS tHeMsElVeS and are like, allergic to responsibility and accountability. But that also translates to relationships. The guy's I've dated cannot handle trying to meet a partners needs or take any sort of negative feedback like their world is ending. I'm sure there are those who are in like, graphic desig…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 04:23 PM
13

As an American who’s lived in East Asia and the Middle East for work, I find part of it to be also affection. Anglo American culture dictates that people just don’t touch and I think it really fucks w people’s brain chemistry. Like in these cultures friends can just walk down the street arm and arm and it’s completely normal whereas in the US my aunt and grandma will walk down the street arm and arm (they’re Asian) and people think they’re lesbians. Also as a brown woman, it’s really normal for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 12:07 PM
6

Ok so it sounds like you know you need to cut this guy out. Look up grey rocking if you think blocking might have some sort of negative social consequence. It's when you try to become so boring and minimally responsive to someone they just leave you alone. I've taught college students for 8 years now and it's actually really easy to have firm boundaries with students, so this guy tiptoeing around the line is suuuper sus. I've had male students have crushes on me and reach out in a not-strictly-p…
/r/askFDS09/11/20 04:15 AM
9

Honestly, you're probably going to get similar feedback here, so I'm not sure what you're looking for. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES admit that you liked him. That does no one any good. If it were me, I'd let it slow fade and just stop responding. If you can't handle that, you might need to block him. If it were just random catching up texts here and there I'd say it's probably fine and mentors are very important to your academic and professional growth, but it does sound like he's crossed some…
/r/askFDS09/11/20 01:49 AM
1

Ashnikko
/r/askFDS07/11/20 09:37 PM
37

How does this not creep you out? I mean, honestly this happens to me sometimes when I just start seeing a guy and very early on he's wants to spend A LOT of time with me or tells me things like "I really like you/I've never met anyone like you/blah blah barf," it means that he's living in a fantasy world and just riding the high of the new dating sitch. It's not healthy to be this infatuated with someone right away from either end. It means someone's missing something in their life and trying to…
/r/askFDS07/11/20 09:36 PM
16

JFC too lazy to go get FREE help. Unreal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 08:13 PM
13

I just keep em on the bench. Like I have one main guy who I like, but have a roster of guys I just chat w. Also when I feel myself wanted to talk to them too much I direct that energy toward friends. Plus, now that I’m a bit older and have had several serious bfs that I never married, I have less of a sense of urgency, and like a real career that takes up most of my energy. So tldr stay busy, fill up your roster, there’s always another one.
/r/askFDS05/11/20 04:38 AM
9

Nah girl. I'm mid 30s and I still get CRAZY mood swings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 01:22 AM
28

🤮🤮🤮🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 02:22 PM
41

And boys get placated bc otherwise they throw violent fits so they turn into low EQ adults who don’t even realize they’re being emotional so assume they must be LoGiCaL and anyone who tries to compel them to be empathetic is crazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 02:15 PM
160

Right exactly. Shutting down bc you don’t know how to process and communicate your emotions is not logical/rational.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 02:12 PM
10

It’s not your fault. I have no idea if you are attracted to men, but I definitely am and still don’t come.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 04:50 AM
103

Why do guys assume women are out here trying to impress them? Like, they list all this shit they want in a woman and it's like, bro, explain to me why I should be dating you, not the other way around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 03:43 AM
11

OLD is 95% these guys. Having a authentic conversation on OLD is exceedingly rare and it's like they're just trying to pick up on cues from you and be that. Like, I'd rather talk to a guy who's authentic and different from me than someone who's faking being similar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 11:52 PM
33

Also, you treat all men as if they're going to hurt you bc the chances are too high. Like, you have one guy react negatively for not fucking him, you're going to just fuck the rest of them to not recreate that situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 09:24 PM
74

Yeah hard pass from me babe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 09:15 PM
101

What the fuck??? Why did he even suggest it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 09:12 PM
175

Agreed. I'd say for 90% of the guys I slept with between 18-24 I was not enthusiastic and it was not a good time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 04:43 PM
24

This honestly doesn't even seem like something you need to google. Like "whoa wtf when I don't have enough icing, I pull my spatula away little cake crumbles come with it?? 'T'ever shall I do?? There MUST BE a solution!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 01:07 AM
122

So here's the thing. I am fucking terrible in the kitchen. An absolute disaster. I cook for myself, but it's never anything worth taking a photo of. I can cook for my partners if they don't mind that what I make is usually simple (some form of protein/veg) and not super presentable. But it usually tastes fine and is definitely healthy. BUT. But. If I were going to try to make something for someone as a special occasion. I would like... put SOME fucking effort in? I'd do research and a trial run.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 11:01 PM
19

Dear gods tell me this is a troll
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 11:17 PM
366

I would be on the streets of the US burning shit to the ground if they overturn roe v wade tbh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 10:46 PM
238

SHUT UP JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP NO ONE ASKED FOR YOUR STUPID FUCKING OPINION Honestly can we start raising boys to juuuuustttt shut the fuck up?? I feel like I/girls I know were constantly silenced growing up/in school??? But with boys its like, wow you're terrible nonsense thought is such valuable insight to this class discussion thank you for sharing?? It's literally so goddamn appalling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 09:16 PM
271

“I’m a grown man who wants a mommy.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 01:05 PM
161

Lmao I have never faked an orgasm and always LET THEM KNOW when they don’t get me off. When I was in my early 20s my mom told me that if they can’t make me come it’s always their fault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 01:04 PM
38

Why would they even want someone who doesnt want them? It’s just about the chase? Then what? Imagine going through all that trouble to stroke your ego. Like bro work on yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 12:59 PM
3

I never understood the in band on stage pics. Like dude I cannot see you. The lighting sucks and you’re sweaty and gross?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 01:10 AM
22

DOGS ARE AWESOME AND YOU CAN FUCK OFF IF YOU DISAGREE!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 07:20 PM
17

Interests include and are limited to travel, trying new restaurants and hiking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 07:18 PM
17

Lmao yeah gotta love those “””entrepreneurs”””
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 05:35 PM
20

Yoooo that's what I tell them. Like, "you know any woman you meet can probably see??" One of these guys has managed to convince himself that women don't care what men look like LOOOOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 03:55 PM
55

I have two male friends who've shown me their OLD profile pics, which were SEVERAL years old, and it's like, bro did you eat that guy..??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 03:09 PM
5

Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/CG7b0VHlEd_/?igshid=129wllw5atfl6
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 01:19 PM
8

I've honestly even noticed that with my male friend irl. It's like they went through a porn addiction in their 20s, and now that we're in our 30s they're finally waking up and realizing how shitty it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 02:42 PM
141

I honestly feel bad for her in general. She’s so pretty that she was pigeon holed as “the hot chick” and no one took her seriously as an actress despite being genuinely talented. She defs needs therapy re: her relationship choices tho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 01:37 PM
38

Growing up on this movie fucked up my perception of dating/romance for most of my adolescence. Sounds dramatic but fr.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 11:02 PM
6

I honestly want to meet these women who think this way. I wouldn't have patience for a FRIEND who kept doing this shit, muuuch less someone who was ostensibly trying to date me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 09:54 PM
83

I don't know who needs to hear this, but: babe, he is plenty good at texting back. Just not to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 05:47 PM
119

God this hits hard. I had EDs from 13-27 just to date out of shape gaming addicts who had the EQ of a melon. How do we live in a society where we think this is acceptable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 05:20 PM
100

EVEN THE SLIGHEST BIT. You don't have to be a body builder! Just hit the gym like a normal healthy human being. Don't have a big dick? Get gud at oral. You don't have to be filthy fucking rich, just have a good/steady job that you care about and can support yourself and your partner. Like in what fucking universe is this shit hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 05:17 PM
9

Why even ask? They don't actually care. They know. Dude's looking for something like, "I want a guy to let me call him daddy and pound me harder." Miss me w your porn fever dreams and give me some gd head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 03:21 PM
5

I cringed so hard. Love it when they’re in favor of young women being eMpOwErEd to fuck old men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 02:52 PM
64

Isn't it amazing how they would rather just be like, "welp guess I'm not a feminist" than actually treat women like human beings?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 07:03 PM
182

Yeah the idea that "any woman can have sex" that incels are so mad about is so fucking stupid. Like, great, men will fuck your vagina without valuing you as a person at all? Fan-fucking-tastic sign me up who even needs feminism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 04:35 PM
39

Even at 30, I dated a guy who was 40 and it was like he was overlaying his life/gf idealization onto me. My best relationships have been w/ guys who are a couple years younger bc they're close enough in age to be in similar places in life but the slight age difference somehow translates into mutual respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 02:40 PM
12

Eh this dude was never that into you. He was just caught up in the new relationship love high. So then y’all break up and there’s drama which also piqued his domaine and norepinephrine responses. He wasn’t into you jus the feeling.
/r/askFDS21/10/20 09:16 PM
8

Right it's not about shaming these specific men for aging. Everyone ages. It's about shaming people who think only women hit a wall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 06:59 PM
19

LMAO yeah the more I move up in my field, the more I realize the world is run by complete goddamn idiots
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 06:56 PM
81

"you could learn how to process your emotions in a healthy productive way! lmao ;) ;) ;)"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 01:56 PM
5

I’m in the same boat. The guy I’m currently seeing keeps fit but is leaner than I’m generally attracted to. But health and fitness are sooo important to me. I have yet to meet/date a thiccfit dude. Bigger guys are usually just not fit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 11:52 AM
32

YES. If someone is causing you emotional pain, gtfo. You would not keep bashing your head into a wall bc that shit hurts. Why do it to your mental wellbeing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 04:48 PM
82

What an absolute depraved asshole. What's so hard about this, if you don't reciprocate someone's feelings, just have some mercy and grace and DO. NOT. FUCK. THEM. IDGAF who you are, men, women, somewhere in between. It's just basic common fucking decency.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 04:46 PM
86

ded. But this is basically reddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 04:30 PM
3

Just completely nothing? It’s a little weird. The guy I’m dating now is in tech and rolled back his social media presence a lot bc of what he learned through some of the companies he’s worked for, so I get it. My social media is minimal bc I don’t want my students knowing too much about me. But to have stone cold nothing? You’ve met his fam and his social circle? Does he invite you to outings w colleagues and/or friends?
/r/askFDS17/10/20 08:23 PM
56

Yeah, I can't understand the argument legitimating women's "choice" to do it when SO many sex workers "choose" to engage in it out of desperation due to poverty or addiction. You see so many white knights and mAlE FeMiNiStS defend things like OnlyFans and it's like, grats on focusing on women who have enough privilege to even start an OF acct. Plus like, I saw a YT vid where this dude was interviewing men who were active OF consumers and those men basically used their parasocial relationships as…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 10:52 PM
192

Dear Brad, You sound shitty. McDonald's isn't a date. Please stop stalking your customers. XOXO, EveningHope
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 06:46 PM
251

Aaaand teaching a man to use his grown up words. And how to plan a date. And how to apologize. And that he has to make reservations at a popular restaurant. And that he should do something for your birthday. And that he shouldn't play video games when y'all are hanging out. And how to do basic fucking chores. And that he needs to eat pussy. The list goes on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 06:41 PM
55

I personally don't believe most of it. Like, I think it's possible, but this would be most reddit user's ultimate get right. "My dick is so spesh that she changed HER ENTIRE LIFE." Please.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 12:16 PM
1

No you're right FDS is the same as TRP. My bad. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 02:59 AM
26

So I'm in the social sciences but most of my male friends are STEM. My biggest issue w/ STEM men is the lack of empathy or general lack of knowledge of identity issues. I don't even think everyone needs to be SuPeR wOkE and am pretty critical of "male feminists" myself, but talking to some of these guys, it's like they've never been exposed to people who aren't like them and STEM curricula don't challenge students to think critically about broader social issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 02:03 AM
12

Where did you find a pic of my last boyfriend
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 01:58 AM
2

"Mayan queen" for a norteña is honestly comically gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 01:56 AM
14

Oh for sure. Esp when it comes to taking themselves too seriously. If a guy can't laugh at himself, you're gonna have a bad time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 02:32 AM
70

I know a Swedish guy who did this exact thing. My friend and I hung out w/ him on holiday in Thailand. A couple years later I went to visit him and his new Thai wife in Sweden (I was traveling through Europe anyway). The amount of shit he talked about immigration to Sweden just left me stunned, esp bc he would say xenophobic shit in front of the wife?? The cognitive dissonance tho!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 06:11 PM
290

I am fucking triggered. So I'm an applied linguist. During my MA, I had a (white male) prof who did his research on indigenous Mexican languages... whiiiich is how he met his wife, as one does. So dude has spent COPIOUS amounts of time in Mexico. He's also from Texas where there are tons of Spanish speakers. He literally studies his wife's indigenous language and has not learned to speak any of it. (His research is on its syntax.) "Well maybe he speaks Spanish," one might think. One would be mis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 04:16 PM
77

These scrotes out here on socials proclaiming to the world that they're literal sociopaths and I don't even post about getting my PhD bc I don't wanna seem arrogant. I WISH I had this audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 07:16 PM
349

This is true. I have male friends who used to be cheap af in college. Now that we have real jobs, when we go go out they're just casually like, oh I'll get it. Men like to provide. Let them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 04:40 PM
287

Ok so I know we're not supposed to blame women for these things, but I'm just gonna say it. Who are these moms??? But also, who are these dads??? Like if a guy has absolutely no sense of how to keep house, that comes from SOMEWHERE. Who are these parents who are not preparing their children to go out into the world and take care of themselves?? Further, who are these dudes who think it's acceptable to not be able to do your own chores??? Another reason why you should have your own shit going on:…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 01:03 PM
24

Also, I feel like white westerners are just LOOKING for reasons to hate their lives/countries/cultures. Not that things are perfect and there is defs room for improvement, but my white male friends are constantly just like, I wish I lived in *insert non-western country here*. And I'm like, wow as a brown woman, I'm suuuper glad I don't. I work internationally a lot and the way I get treated in the developing world is an entirely different experience from my white male colleagues. And OF COURSE y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 12:58 PM
93

My male American friends are floored when I tell them about female infanticide in China and India. It’s like any women’s issues completely misses them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 03:36 AM
387

Yeah as soon as she gains 10lbs dadbod’s gonna step in and start lecturing her about how fat she’s getting and how there are 10 other hotter girls who want him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 03:33 AM
264

“I just say offensive shit but I’m just joking and you’re too sensitive.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 03:30 AM
27

Eh it takes me a little while to warm up to people with or without fds and only really click w a certain type of guy. For me the major change has been the ready to walk aspect. I’m so used to being told that I should make relationships wOrK nO mAtTeR wHaT. I think the balance comes eventually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 12:41 AM
1

Right. The buying dinner thing is a sign of generosity. I've said this elsewhere but even my male friends pay for things. I don't ask, but they like to feel like providers. I personally only want to date men who want to provide for me. I wouldn't expect any guy to do these things. I'm just not attracted to men who don't. Obviously if you feel like a guy's buying dinner just to sleep with you.... yknow, don't. That's why we don't recommend early physical relationships.
/r/askFDS10/10/20 10:30 PM
3

You're more than welcome to think that. FDS isn't the community for you.
/r/askFDS10/10/20 10:17 PM
48

Right! I've had to explain to male friends that like, women DO like sex - men are just very bad at it. Like, bro, imagine if only 10% of the sex you had resulted in an orgasm. You'd be pretty fucking frustrated too. AND because men IN GENERALLY are terrible at getting us off, we ASSUME men are going to be bad at it and are, therefore, HIGHLY selective about it. They would be getting laid more overall if they just gave a fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 07:16 PM
7

wow this is basically a summary of my dating life i feel attacked :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 07:07 PM
8

Paging r/Nonsluttymen WTF is their problem. She can have whatever standards she wants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 07:06 PM
27

Completely agree. Even frequent use of strip clubs in younger years bothers me. It just shows that a guy is comfortable commodifying and using women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 07:03 PM
20

Right I think that's the major difference is the greater social expectations. When I started dating in HS, I my romantic expectations were based on Disney movies and 90s sitcoms. But guess what, no HS boy is going to try to become someone's prince charming, whereas, with girls, boys have expectations for sex based on porn, and girls actually try to fit that role. As well as their moms, therapists, and Barbara the builders.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 02:55 PM
71

Several of the men I date actually bring this up. I’m in my 30s so most of my partners also grew up in the 90s. But they talk about how dad worked all the time so they never learned how to adult or be emotionally available. The thing is tho, I’ve dated guys who cared and tried to fix it but also guys who just blamed all their emotional problems on their parents and did nothing about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 02:19 PM
82

At least the dating hellscape is inspiring women to produce fantastic comics: https://instagram.com/violetclair?igshid=11ankdhtdylm7 To be fair to Jake tho, at least he’s not selfish in bed and tricking a woman into an LTR.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 02:08 PM
23

I'm actually sending this to my male STEM friends rn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 01:53 PM
29

Yeah, they're about this about everything. "Too smart" too put in effort in to school, so they don't. "Too good" to work certain jobs, so they stay broke. "Too much of a bro" to talk to their friends about their shit behavior. Right, women are the ones who don't think for themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 03:22 AM
10

I love this story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 02:44 AM
18

weird flex but ok
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 12:56 AM
105

This honestly just fucks me up every time one of my male friends is juuuust starting to get into fitness. Like bruh, I'm a woman. You think fitness is your ally? You merely adopted it. I was molded by societal expectations of female beauty. I've had all the calories of all the major sources of protein memorized since I was seven fucking teen. I've tried every diet since 2003. You wanna correct my squat form? You did your first set last week. I've been doing this lift for fifteen fuckingggg years…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 12:51 AM
6

Also, lazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 09:46 PM
76

Wow wtf. This really gets under my skin. I’m a linguist and I work internationally primarily. This dude’s attitude toward her pronunciation is absolutely insidious. No one is the arbiter of how any language is pronounced. Imagine if Shakespeare heard Americans, or modern brits for that matter, talk, it would be very hard to communicate. Language changes. It’s time and place oriented. Also, dudes so first world elitist. If he heard a British girl say aluminium, he would almost certainly not roll …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 12:40 PM
20

What? This dude is insanely xenophobic. English pronunciation does not belong to Americans. Imagine if a British girl said “aluminium” and an American guys rolled his eyes at it. That would be absurd bc it’s not his place to judge. It’s just how it’s pronounced.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 12:34 PM
9

Sis I’m not super tidy either. But like, who doesn’t close the cabinet AND leaves there shoes around AND their clothes, etcetc? Point is that like, if you are the sort of person who does like things tidy and your with someone who isn’t willing to shape up, maybe roasting them about it on IG is less cute and more embarrassing for you? Like hehehe my bf can’t take care of himself isn’t an adorable meme but more of an indictment of his ability to adult and y’all’s overall compatibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 11:10 AM
98

Haha yeah dragging of her friends and family to her delusion wedding. Mad chill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 03:04 AM
358

Why would you force someone to marry you when they're denying even dating you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 01:56 AM
33

I love that y'all just started talking about skincare bc that was my first thought as well. Like, buddy, how about investing in your face instead of talking shit to women on the internet?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 10:51 PM
6

lmao fuck a nice way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 07:44 PM
106

This dude just hits so many fds memes including: - the field - going on walks or grabbing a drink as no no dates - even today there was a post about some chick putting up w a guys asshole friends I cannot 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 07:36 PM
41

Lolol yeah the connotation here would be the literal field with grass and shit. If he were working as a detective or something, you could say “I’m in the field.” But this refers to only when someone’s actually working. If you want to indicate like, which discipline you study for example, you’d have to specify: “I’m in the field of physics.” Just using the indefinite article is an actual field w plants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 07:18 PM
289

Ok so, let me get this straight: he embarrasses her? Hilarious! Good times had by all! She embarrasses him? What a harsh bitch. Cool? Cool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 05:56 PM
2

LMAO please god I hope they think I'm unattractive
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 04:12 PM
154

Wake up Scroll through FDS Get called out Close the internet
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 02:00 PM
18

Good call. I sort of see it as like, basic life things. Like, if I'm out in the middle of nowhere, I'd rather just change my own tire than be stranded for who knows how long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 01:55 PM
133

Girl get a weighted blanket.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 01:52 PM
31

SAY IT LOUDER.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 01:48 PM
16

Why does wanting time and effort substitute money? Like, all of the above pls?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 01:43 PM
17

Oh right, "without."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 01:41 PM
60

Good post. "Blames his parents for his emotional issues but takes absolutely no responsibility in his own actions" an manifest itself in myriad ways. It can be not knowing how to apologize bc he doesn't take responsibility for others' emotions, gets defensive when you try to cOmmUnIcAtE, follows along with his friends bc he has absolutely no backbone, sleeping on a twin sized floor mattress. I could really go on and on describing my last bf, but y'all get the picture. The FIRST time he blames hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 02:47 AM
85

This is exactly why I never send the paragraphs, bc I know when they do it to me, I could not even pretend to care. So why waste my energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 01:42 AM
25

YES WTF THIS IS MAKING ME CRAZY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 01:40 AM
38

Yeah maybe 5'9" is a solid 5'7"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 01:37 AM
24

Honestly. if you've already been talking to him and his personality hasn't "shined," why even bother?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 01:36 AM
26

I've seen a couple of these lately, along the lines of "women who consider themselves bad bitches/queens/whatever are just being assholes." Imo it's bc reddit's target demo is trying to find their MPDGs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 01:31 AM
94

She had us in the first half, ngl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 01:27 AM
35

I just.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 09:48 PM
64

Yep, as soon as a guy finds out I'm doing my PhD, it's immediately followed up with an excuse as to why he didn't go to grad school. This literally even happened today with some dude from OLD. So gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 08:56 PM
22

I was so stunned I didn’t know what to say. I made a complaint to the clinic staff after the fact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 08:33 PM
56

I literally only see female doctors for everything, esp millennial WoC bc it matches my background. It's your body, whatever makes you comfortable. I've had an older white female nurse tell me that my poor immigrant parents (my parents are not poor) got teen pregnant (they had me in their 20s) and I should do everything in my power to not do the same (I was 31). So yeah my choice of medical provider is going to match my background as much as possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 07:32 PM
70

See? Equality! Women can be underhanded charlatans too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 07:29 PM
35

LMAO this LV male acquaintance didn't believe me when I told him women have a hard time orgasming bc "that wasn't his experience." Dude also doesn't eat pussy OBVIOUSLY. I had to explain to him that those girls were almost certainly faking it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 04:58 PM
13

Yeah, the older I get the less sex, but the better sex I have. I also don't hang around if a guy just clearly isn't getting it. And I can explain what I like, so if a guy isn't taking feedback, he clearly cares about his ego more than my pleasure, which is a dealbreaker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 04:57 PM
90

Preach. That combined with meeting a guy for a zoom date, it literally just feels like you're interviewing with HR for some company. I did the zoom thing once. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 04:01 PM
5

HONESTLY as an outside, neutral observer, it sounds like he's just using you (all women tbh) for his own validation and wants none of the commitment/responsibility. And I'm saying this bc it sounds like you have a crush on this guy and it's clouding your judgement. I know you know this, but asking you to go shopping for his cologne is not "asking you out." If you have to throw that "kinda" in there, let's be real. He's not actually a "really good friend" if he's using you to boost his own ego, r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 02:26 PM
49

They want the validation and none of the responsibility. From any woman, you, their ex, their moms, friends, whatever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 02:21 PM
48

Teens. 10yo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 01:56 PM
4

This was such a rollercoaster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 01:51 PM
140

15% of the men I have slept with have actually gotten me off. "But women a just don't like sex as much!!" Look, Robert, maybe if you were any fucking good at it, we would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 01:45 PM
25

On top of that, imagine fucking apologizing to a guy you’re trying to ask out. I mean, (1) don’t do it, but (2) her self esteem is so low, she’s apologizing for giving a guy her number? Sis ask your parents to put you in therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 05:08 AM
13

WE STAN
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 03:38 AM
28

Well, this dude was awful first of all, but I hadn't seen him in ages so I didn't realize what a charity case he had become: gained a ton of weight, dropped out of college, big time gaming addiction, underemployed. I know, I know - I gave him the benefit of the doubt bc he was so much different when we met ten yrs ago. Anyway, I had been telling him about my break up w/ a guy who is actually someone he knows. He kept being flirtatious with me and acknowledged it, despite that I told him to stop …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 01:16 AM
25

Riddle me this y'all: whenever I match w a guy in his mid 20s on OLD, he just NEVER asks me out. It's texting back and forth for weeks. What IS this?? Guys in their late 20s/30s don't have this problem!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 01:11 AM
49

Wow are you me? I broke up w my last bf of 2 yrs over the summer. I somehow accidentally developed a crush on a LVM friend of a friend. Pre-FDS me would have just dated him and forced it to work despite the screaming red sirens. So glad I avoided that trainwreck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 12:56 AM
1

Personal anecdote that may be useful?: I actually just dealt w a LVM friend who was harshing my vibe. I tried to slow fade but every few days dude would msg me just to chitchat. Like, whenever I felt like I was in the clear, he'd rope me back in. I would tell him he's an asshole when he was being an asshole. I would also just leave him on r anytime he says something I don't like. He thought I was joking until I saw him IRL recently (he's roommates w my bff) and I absolutely just lost my shit bc …
/r/askFDS05/10/20 11:07 PM
63

Lmaoooo “yeah baby I’m gonna flipflop you with my massive dongle.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 10:30 PM
166

Um. What. You can't just make up your own sex slang, Andrew. It makes you sound like a creepy middle schooler.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 08:37 PM
229

There isn't a person on earth who deserves less engagement than this idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 08:35 PM
33

Wtf?? I’m like this too. I get startled SUPER easily. Like I can know someone is right there and still turn around and startle when I see them. It’s not something you can help. I’m sure he thinks she’s faking it or whatever. The lack of concern for her wellbeing is absolutely staggering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 07:58 PM
66

Oh I’m sure he’d freak the fuck out and accuse her of doing it on purpose
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 07:57 PM
46

How is anyone that despo to get married? Like I’m not a fan of huge public gestures or the diamond industry myself but damn anyone can expect something personal, special and done with some effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 05:46 PM
134

When you’ve only experienced power, you cannot empathize with marginalized groups
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 05:42 PM
109

Right? When a girl goes out with a guy, and then she turns down the second date, he's like, ugh she just wanted the free meal. And it's like.. wut? Like, she liked you enough to go out with you once, and then, she got to know you better and declined that second date right...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 04:43 PM
17

I chose the social group strategy flair bc this article breaks down stats by race/ethnicity, which, as a brown woman, I actually find to be quite relevant to the conversation, but often gets lost.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 04:24 PM
34

"Ah yes," he thought to himself, pleased with his own prose, "despite my absolute genius with the written word, I receive so few matches! It must be the women who are vile harlots!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 02:54 PM
52

Right so here's my thing. You often seen much of the manosphere talk about how men suffer abuse too, how men's mental health issues are important, how there's all this online/pop culture messaging about women's mental health issues but not for men, etc. but like, men, by and large, still aren't doing anything about it? AND, not just that, the men in those spaces are hostile to other men who are clearly going through mental health issues. Can you imagine a woman opening up online to other women a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 02:49 PM
44

Yeah that sub is such a waste of time. But the same could be said for all relationship advice type subs tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 11:55 PM
66

IDGAF TBH. Not my monkeys, not my circus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 09:43 PM
7

I don’t wear make up but I’m obsessed w skincare. I kind of just like to try stuff from Ulta tho. Masks 1-2 times/week. SPF 30 literally every time I leave the house. Lots of water/sleep. Good diet/workout routine. Super simple. I just saw a friend I hadn’t seen in ten years and he said I look the exact same so somethings working.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 07:58 PM
146

Right, bc if I, a small woman, beat the shit out of a child who hit me, it's in self-defense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 04:33 PM
25

I have this friend who dropped everything to live the vanlife out in Portland (obv). He's a great friend, but I would never recommend anyone date him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 03:57 PM
20

FR. When I was in college I gamed a lot, but now I'm a goddamn adult and it's on the same tier as watching TV. Like, if I have NOTHING else to do, I'll pick something up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 03:16 PM
14

Wow I actually saw one of these in the wild today 😬😬😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 05:00 AM
2

TBH I can't understand the women who insist on opening their own doors? Like, sis, we know you can. It's not about that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 09:13 PM
14

but men get raped too /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 09:09 PM
44

The number of wives (and mothers for that matter) who cover for actual monsters is insane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 07:41 PM
15

Honestly, for me, I sort of view it as similar to an addiction. So I try to address the root causes. Am I fulfilled in the other aspects of my life? Is there a healthy avenue I can direct that energy? I also used to be super insecure about my looks, but honestly dressing well and having healthy habits sort of quashes it for me bc I'm happy with what I see in the mirror so it matters less what men think. Finally, at this point in my life, I understand that people have a lot of shit going on, so I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 07:39 PM
41

Even the first line sounds like it was for a screenplay or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 02:43 PM
29

No one should be having casual sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 01:28 AM
67

I agree with a lot of this. I don't get why FDS is considered a hate sub. Like, no one's preaching violence against men. We just encourage women to have whatever standards they deem additive to their lives and it's better to be single than compromise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 01:17 AM
27

I’m howling. Also, must be fine w women’s body hair as I don’t shave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 07:43 PM
54

Sounds like she needs to do some self-examination into why she's still married to this clown.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 06:18 PM
8

You don't. He either does or doesn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 04:35 PM
553

Yeah honestly seeing some of y'all tryna explain yourselves to these clowns is exhausting. If I don't even read those texts and I'm on y'all's side, that dude is DEFS not reading it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 04:33 PM
52

How about neither of these things
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 02:51 PM
11

If he has to be THAT careful, don’t date rn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 02:49 PM
118

FWB relationships DO NOT WORK. People are absolutely shitting themselves if they’re ok with it. Imagine getting to 30+ and not realizing this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 02:48 PM
5

If they’re shitty upfront, imagine how bad it’ll be once you get in country.
/r/askFDS02/10/20 03:34 AM
27

Did she want it to be official w you? All I’m hearing is “I wanted it to be fwb then I changed my mind and wanted something more serious.” What does she actually want, not “seems like” she wants?
/r/askFDS02/10/20 03:32 AM
134

This is exactly correct. One of my hobbies is male dominated and I've been in the community for a long time. These guys can absolutely have long, drawn out conversations in explicit detail and go on for ages. They can listen to their friends' input. They can reflect on something they maybe did wrong or could have done better. If they're not doing it with you, it's because they literally cannot even try to give a shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 02:23 AM
63

A friend of mine showed me his OKC acct to ask for some feedback and the photos were of him like 10yrs ago, MUCH younger and in better shape. His reasoning was, "women don't care what men look like anyway." LMAOOOO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 01:52 AM
22

Uh I dunno if this is "healthy" but I am deeply in love with my career. I work in the international education space and am currently pursuing my PhD. I've lived all over the world and have worked with some really fascinating people, including North Korean refugees and Mexican migrant workers, etc. I've also won some grants for interesting projects with major governmental and nongovernmental orgs. It has it's ups and downs, but overall it's super fulfilling, esp since I get to see the impact my w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 01:48 AM
26

Right. Also like, having to make small talk first thing in the morning or whatever? It's just excruciatingly awkward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 12:17 AM
71

Yeah, it's insanity here. I'm American but live abroad/travel a lot for work. American dating/hook up culture is absolutely untenable. I think a lot of it has to do with the faux feminism of the 80s/90s/00s when we were all supposed to be sExUaLlY lIbErAtEd. It warms my heart to see that the next generation seems to have bought into this less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 12:06 AM
56

I live alone. I was dating a guy who was late 20s-early 30s who had roommates. I literally never wanted to go over to his place bc of it. So yes, for me it would be a dealbreaker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 12:00 AM
110

Man I remember this. Back when people were trying to defend the internet as the modern WiLd WeSt so anything goes! including shit like r-slash-jailbait.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 09:28 PM
84

In fairness to shitshows, reddit was a MASSIVE shitshow before all this, which is why she tried to shut it down, IIRC.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 09:26 PM
6

The self-hate is strong with this one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 09:24 PM
5

As was I, TBH, guys I've dated for 2-3 years still pick up the tab at restaurants by default, have supported me through grad school, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 07:17 PM
14

I have no idea how to explain this. I'm from the southern US, so men paying for dates is the default. So I've never really had to have this as a conversation - it's just understood. Sometimes I pay if I want to treat my partner, but it's never the expectation. The last guy I dated had never had a serious gf, so early on I told him that I expected him to pay when we went out to dinner and he had no problem with it. If I go out with a guy and he expects me to pay, then I'm not seeing that man agai…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 05:56 PM
32

These two things aren't mutually exclusive. I still receive, but also maintain my career? What's the issue?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 05:18 PM
5

I literally listen to this song to get out of bed every morning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 02:56 PM
30

I tried to get through one episode but absolutely could not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 02:54 PM
20

Lol yeah I was gonna say as a linguist I disagree with A LOT of Chomsky’s theories but this is spot on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 12:57 PM
8

"Entrepreneur" is an autonext from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 02:48 AM
35

I would just say things that are high quality in general. I used to partake in the fast fashion scene, but then you get the clothes and it's all 100% polyester and feels like shit against your skin. Same goes for cheap skincare products, etc. I'd rather focus on quality than quantity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 05:57 PM
97

Yeah even w male friends, they *like* to pay. Not just for me, but for our other male friends/groups of people who maybe make less money. It's sort of a flex, but also like, "hey I care about these people so I want us to all have a good time and them not worry about the cost."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 05:54 PM
19

How much younger? I tend to date men who are 1-3yrs younger than me, and it's much better than dating men who are older. They've been a lot more respectful of my own needs/professional ambitions, whereas older men have wanted me to fill the preset role in their lives. I was seeing a guy who was 7yrs younger and that was a bit too much as far as our current life states. I've been in "talking to" situations w guys who are like 10yrs younger and they just aren't the types where they're ready to mak…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 05:52 PM
4

You can't save em all. Frankly, if a woman wants to live her life like that, sucks for her but *shrug*. Even before FDS, I have always had certain expectations for my romantic situation and am only interested in dating men who live up to that. But if this chick wants to handle the dregs of dating, by all means.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 04:48 PM
47

Is this satire? It's pretty good if it's satire. If it's not satire, a dude not gambling and cheating is well below the bare fucking minimum. Also, this vid screams trust and control issues. Girl see a therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 04:31 PM
89

Also, if you're afraid to sit down at a table with a guy bc you're unsure if he's been exposed, what does that say about how he lives his life/respects social distancing guidelines in general? If a guy's asking you to a restaurant in a high risk area, what does that say about him? Do you want to sleep with someone who you're not sure if they care about the health/safety of others as well as their own?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 04:27 PM
64

This is how you get trapped in a relationship where you're pulling all the weight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:44 PM
21

This is unacceptable behavior for just meeting up with a friend, much less a date...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:42 PM
20

Apparently it says "black belt" which is honestly cringier than if it said something like "bravery" or whatever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 02:28 AM
8

You did the right thing. Reach out to a friend just to chit chat and take your mind off it. Or do something that you find mentally soothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 02:27 AM
36

Yeah the woke alphabet soup is an autoleft for me. BLM/ACAB/LGBTQ+ ally/etc. If that's your opener, I'm skeptical that you have genuinely thought-out perspectives on any of these issues. It comes off as a ploy to get woke chicks to sleep w them. MaLe FeMiNiSts. Poly/ethically nonmonogamist. Anyone who puts zero effort into their bio. If their only hobbies are hiking/trying new restaurants/travel/watching the office. These are like, bottom tier activities of just being a person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 02:27 AM
107

I've ESPECIALLY noticed this during covid. Like women will move out of each other's way by a mile bc we care about the other person's general well being and our own health. I've seen men in high risk categories not move over. I've honestly stopped moving over too at this point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 12:04 AM
24

YAS. My last ex could not be confronted with how he hurt my feelings without getting defensive and blamed his parents for his shitty communication skills. 30yo man. They don't change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 11:09 PM
80

"Omg! Noooo don't be embarrassed it's totally cool lol!" LMAO no I couldn't even type that out without gagging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 11:07 PM
103

I had a male friend say this exact thing to me recently. He said something like, I really don't care what I do for a living, but if I want to date the sort of girl I like, I need to get a good job/start working out/etc. They know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 07:02 PM
88

LOOOL I'm ded. Yeah like, we all get busy, but if a guy doesn't even think to check up on you before he goes to sleep or whatever? Next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 06:29 PM
9

It's really tough for me. It's honestly easier to get off w dudes I can't stand bc I don't give a shit about their comfort. When it comes to guys I like, I stress out about if they're enjoying it. For me, it takes a lot to internalize that this guy doesn't mind doing it since I like it. Also, I need to feel some sense of autonomy/control bc I've been so socialized to assume that a man's pleasure is the goal and I'm just a fuck object. Lots of direct contact and lubrication are important for me. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 06:15 PM
41

OMFG YES GIRL. I started seeing this dude. Lots of green flags. He cooks, takes me places, etc. In shape, good job. And I'm like, wow there must be something terribly wrong with you bc I usually date guys with nothing going for them WHO ALSO treat me like shit. I dated a guy for 3.5 years and any time I ask questions/needed a little attention, I was clingy/needy/annoying/etc. so now any time I'm dating someone, I just assume they think I'm annoying and try to give them as much space as possible.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 05:44 PM
19

Better her than me sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 05:40 PM
69

Slutty dudes usually have mommy issues anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 05:33 PM
3

I used to teach in Asia (I'm American) and I'd say like 4 of the guys I dated had a wife/gf back home and that's the ones I know of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 05:13 AM
301

Is he saying the girl on the phone looks nothing like the girl in front of the mirror? Are his mutton chops interfering with his vision?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 04:41 AM
39

Also the praise we shower on 50+ yo celebs. Like, y'all I do not have it in me to look like that at 50. But NEITHER DO THEY tbh. Can't we just age like normal humans?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 03:57 AM
26

As he sat in his folding throne in the middle of his living room, he stared down at his floor TV. "Watching this show at eye level is for simps," he thought. "I, a king, shall stay up."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 03:54 AM
13

What? He's married and has come on to you... So he's LV by default. You realize you're just going to be in his current wife's position in the future. He's prob talking to other girls to aside from you. Just force yourself to block? I don't see what the issue is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 03:50 AM
37

I'll be super honest. OLD has been slightly better than IRL. When I date guys though my nerdy hobby, they're useless manchildren. Guys I meet in the same professional field do not have their shit together. The guy's I've met through OLD have been fine? But IMO OLD is for bored people to meet other bored people. Like, I'm insanely selective on OLD, so I've met a handful of guys who are reasonably attractive/good jobs/well educated/etc. but my swipe left rate is like 99% and who has time for that …
/r/askFDS28/09/20 03:39 AM
2

Eh I wouldn't have told him TBH. Better to not let them know too much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 03:30 AM
24

WTF?? Why do they do this? A while ago I was on a walk and some dude tried to holler at me from his car. I ignored it, so he followed me down the block and tried again. It makes me feel like I'm in crazy town. I'd love an actual explanation for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 02:37 AM
91

It's just another way to degrade women, let's be honest. Like, "no fat chicks" but "no old chicks" and they give fertility as an excuse bc muh EvO bIoLoGy. Like, dude you didn't want kids anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 02:30 AM
13

It usually takes me a few weeks of actually having someone start going down on me. If they can't get it in maybe a month max, then it's not worth trying to force it to happen. But it does take me a looong time to get to know someone to feel comfortable enough to get off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 02:26 AM
214

I gives me hope that even the young girls are getting fed up by this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 02:22 AM
64

So this is something my friends an I talk about - we teach college students. This is going to come off as very "back in my day" and I don't mean for it to be, so any GenZers please weigh in. But it seems to us (we're in our 30s) that people who are now in their early 20s and younger have just spent so much time with technology, they value that without realizing how much the actual interpersonal interaction is - in general, but ESP when it comes to dating. I've even matched w a couple guys around…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 02:17 AM
284

Nice. I feel like somewhere men got a handbook saying that women want to be complimented on their looks by randos. How can we end this myth?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 12:03 AM
2

You're never wrong for ending things. You like what you like. I love high end stuff too. The guy I started seeing is generally frugal, but spends money on me and does NOT comment on how I spend my own money. If he were at all critical of my spending habits, I'd delete too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 11:22 PM
7

I give all of you permission to snoop when your gut tells you to and not apologize for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 09:35 PM
1

He was never your friend. He was using you. He's a shit person. You did nothing wrong.
/r/askFDS27/09/20 07:55 PM
60

Men: Women need to be hot Also men: Women can't think they're hot
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 06:09 PM
24

Preach. I'm Brown-American and I literally cannot stand dating culturally "mainstream" American men. It's like they've been socialized to be allergic to any sort of commitment/family/etc. Like, bruh tf else you got going on? You're afraid a gf is gonna infringe on your gaming time? GTFO w that. I tend to date other immigrant experience Americans bc of this exact thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 06:07 PM
10

So, I get it. When you go from being a pickme, this is a step in the right direction, which is something. But can I ask, why engage with this guy? Why put in the emotional labor to boost his ego and then go out of your way to provide an alternative? Fuck this guy. He's nothing to you. He clearly doesn't care about your ego, so why even give a fraction of a shit about his?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 06:02 PM
23

Common lies on OLD: just all of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 04:44 PM
54

Men tend to only be one thing. Women feel like they have to be everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 03:49 PM
328

I saw the post but didn't read the comments. I love how comments on FDS are like "yas girl get out of that abusive relationship" and we're the hate sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 03:19 PM
89

- Maybe this is an offshoot of the GND but something I'd call the "nerd's dream." A chick who's also into nerdy shit so dude's think they can just hang out with their vagina bro. They get to overlay all of their own interests on to her and don't really care to get to know her outside of any shared interests (e.g. games, computers/programming, etc.) Also, they don't have to put in any effort bc she's a bro, bro. Guys who like this are nerds obv. They met through some nerdy interest. But she's rea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 04:00 AM
51

Sis just stand up and walk away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 02:19 AM
8

This is so insane to me. I often just touch people on the arm or whatever when I talk to them which is normal in my cultural background. But I'm American so the men here seem to think that if I just like, lightly touch their forearm, it means I'm trying to fuck them. Like, how desperate and pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 11:02 PM
213

WTF? Imagine being so sad, alone and angry that you're not even willing to wish someone you know a happy birthday?? Like, I'd make a cute HBD vid for a complete stranger on the internet if someone asked. Literally all of these events are low key. It's not like he's asking any spend a ton of money or go super far out of their way? If you don't wanna participate, fine, but why shit all over everyone else's good time?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 10:56 PM
469

How can anyone be this emotionally depraved?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 05:55 PM
87

Yeah, as soon as men spend 60-90+ mins getting ready for a date, on top of spending a ton of effort/time/money on buying clothes that look good on them + working out + focusing on nutrition + skincare (tho these things should be standard for everyone but aren't somehow), then we can start to talk about splitting the bill on dates. Also, I've been the higher earner in dating situations and thought it would help if I paid for dates. Never again. Those guys were NV. HV men wouldn't ask you to pay e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 05:53 PM
101

I'd just cut this guy out tbh. I have plenty of male friends who I can hang out with alone and wouldn't dare do anything remotely like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 05:47 PM
157

Skin in the game? You mean like paying income taxes, sales taxes, sending kids to schools, using services like the police/fire/trash pickup/USPS, driving on roads, I could literally go on forever bc this is fucking stupid? I think describing this as "pick me" behavior is generous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 05:26 PM
38

Yeah, there's evidence that suggests some contemporary hunter gatherer societies may be more gender equal than pop culture would have you believe. Something something evo biology, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 04:35 PM
22

Right? Honestly, I like sex a lot. But at some point you gotta realize that making terrible fucking decisions bc of it is not a way to life. Put your shit away and focus on shit that's more fulfilling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 03:32 PM
213

Right? I agree. A lot of my male friends will breadcrumb a girl and have literally nothing going on. Like, dawg you're lucky you're even on this chicks radar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 03:24 PM
29

OMG She dated that guy?? Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 03:21 PM
27

I'm 34 and match w (hot) dudes in their mid 20s on dating apps. There is no wall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 03:19 PM
297

Who are these men who think this is ok? Are they really out there drowning in it or are they just too chicken shit to make any sort of commitments? I was talking to this guy recently and he didn't get back to me for like, three days. So by the time he did, I literally forgot about him bc there were other men who were actually showing me how interested they are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 03:15 PM
165

Lmao sis, as someone who had a very slutty early 20s, this ain't it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 04:24 AM
179

Also, my pussy isn't a charity when it comes to the orgasm gap. I'm here to collect tyvm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 12:40 AM
29

A LEAF BLOWER ALL OF MY WHAT 😂😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 06:37 PM
24

This was written by a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 06:33 PM
28

OMFG. My friends roommate said this to me recently. Dude literally has never washed the blanket nest he sleeps in and hates vegetables. Like, work on yourself before you try to get any kind of gf maybe??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 05:41 PM
39

It's definitely sort of a core finding in the research that girls develop language (communicative/literacy) abilities at a younger age and are have generally fewer "behavior issues." But I do question whether the label of "more mature" is foisted upon girls just because they don't run around screaming their heads off during recess. So, we assume they're "more mature" bc they tend to be quiet and studious (generalization), but that doesn't mean girls have life experience to actually be mature. Wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 05:39 PM
30

Only if you’ve made SURE he’s a serial killer and you’re not getting enough adrenaline from sky diving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 09:34 PM
11

Right like if a dude is like, hey there’s this really great botanical garden, I’ll bring a charcuterie board, and we can sit on opposite ends of the picnic table, I wouldn’t consider that a walk date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 08:52 PM
3

It's easier to change your environment than your actual brain. Figure out what works for your specific brain and do more of it. Music? A specific room in your house? Writing stuff down on paper or in your phone? Having an hour by hour schedule? Self imposed deadlines? I've been in academia a loooong time and it's a lot of self motivation and regulation, so I don't have a specific answer for you unfortunately. But it's difficult for everyone right now so don't be too hard on yourself.
/r/askFDS23/09/20 07:53 PM
136

I hope he paid for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 07:40 PM
53

I've had this convo w a couple people here (today w/ u/Phoenix__Rising2018). Stop feeling guilty when a man does something for you. Let him. He wants to. Stop unnecessarily doing shit for them. It does not make them want you more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 05:20 PM
23

But.. but... then you'll be a leftover woman! 🙄🙄🙄🙄 🤮🤮🤮🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 05:16 PM
47

I honestly don't understand?? My car died the other day and the men at this coffee shop were sort of arguing about who would *get* to help me?? I mean, I obviously know how to jump a car bc who owns a car without basic knowledge of shit like this, but they WANT to help. Anytime there's something remotely heavy, I have no problem asking a male friend bc (1) it's just physically easier for them, (2) they like it and (3) if asking a guy to carry something makes them respect me less, they don't need…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 04:25 PM
66

I desperately want the irony of this to be lost on no one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 03:18 PM
37

You ALREADY know the answer to this. Asking why this 42 yo man doesn't have his shit together is not the right question. What is compelling *you* to put up with this shit?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:47 PM
89

I had this convo w a male friend of mine where he tried to shame me for vetting men by their job/salary (this friend literally just quit his decent job for no reason aside from "being bored" lmao). Honestly, it doesn't make a man HV by default, but being career oriented is at least a first tier shortcut to tell if this guy has some sense of responsibility, long term thinking, interest/passion in something with some social utility, hardworking, etc. Is it a perfect metric? Not at all. But talking…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:42 PM
523

Yes, @ the women who are married to my exbfs, you're welcome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 01:57 PM
10

This is my honest to god greatest fear about marriage/kids. I'm in academia so WFH is normal, but that doesn't mean I don't have a shitload of work to do. As it stands, my friends/family think I'm just constantly on vacation and shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:22 AM
48

When I read shit like this, I simultaneously vom but also, I can't help but marvel at the delusional confidence. Like, if women believed in themselves half as much as this clown, can you imagine what that would be like?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:13 AM
29

You have got to be fucking shitting me. Maybe next time he'll just ask you to run his errands for him, sis. #blessed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:01 AM
20

Haha yes. Instead of just declining, show up in sweats and a bun, grab your coffee... and leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 10:20 PM
40

LMAO he thinks women are on OLD to impress men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 10:15 PM
234

HOW ARE MEN JUST SO GROSS? Like, I'm honestly not the tidiest person in the world, I get it. But this is all of my what. Like eventually your fucking pillows go flat and it's just not great to sleep on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 08:49 PM
38

I've been here since like, June/July and I am absolutely blown away by the amount of growth that's happened in such a short period of time. Hooray FDS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 05:16 PM
2

I've dated guys in their late 20s/early 30s who have little dating experience but CLEARLY want an LTR, so if you're not sure, then he's not sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 01:36 PM
222

Aaaand the last guy I was talking to didn't want to share his skittles with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 09:05 PM
23

What were the comments like? So, definitely when it comes to intelligence, men exist on a flatter curve, i.e. there are more geniuses but also more complete dolts, whereas women tend to cluster around the average for intelligence. I would also imagine this extends to other characteristics generally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 09:01 PM
134

I've def noticed this. I'm in a female dominated field and soo many women I know from their late 30s onward are just over the whole thing. But I also have a lot of male friends in the same age range from my hobbies who are still grinding the dating apps and super frustrated by the dating climate. No idea why they don't just give it up as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 08:54 PM
2

I'm on friendly terms with most of my LRT exes due to our shared social and professional circles. We do not talk "often." We talk occasionally and it's entirely platonic. Like, sharing a meme or mentioning something about a mutual friend or interest. And it happens maybe a few times a year. I would never tell them I miss them (even the one that I kind of do miss). They would never say the same to me. We don't hang out outside of group gatherings like weddings and funerals. What you're experienci…
/r/askFDS21/09/20 07:26 PM
13

Lol I said this to the guy I'm seeing recently. We were talking about marriage generally, and I was like, I can't get married, I'm a terrible cook. And his response was, well, I've cooked every meal so far, so I don't think that's a problem. It's true. He has. And he's really good at it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 07:15 PM
107

I feel this way about (SOME) K-dramas and Disney movies, but also I *know* they're complete fiction. No man IRL is going to go out of his way to sweep my off my feet, lets be honest. So I don't expect it. But when I sleep w a guy, it's like they expect that hitting my butt until it's bruised is the norm???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 06:42 PM
10

My fave hobby is point out to self-purported mAlE fEmInIsT they ways in which they are complete hypocrites.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 06:38 PM
14

Men are also taught that they are "rational/logical/etc" by default, so anything you want that conflicts with that is de facto "crazy."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 03:29 PM
9

Your approach to this is low value. Live your own life. If you're gonna post on IG, post. Assume these men don't give a shit about you bc they prob don't. Sure, maybe they'll see and think you look good, but they also see dozens of IG girls a day and think they look good too. Who gives a shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 02:36 AM
2

Yes, exactly. I do this too. My current therapist suggested this is a "perfectionist" thing. Like, women often try to "win over" a man bc it's like, well I like me so why shouldn't this other person. And it's not that you're *not* awesome, it's more that this guy it just avoidant. So while, in reality, it's not your problem, it feels like YOUR BIGGEST problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 12:19 AM
6

I had a therapist once tell me that relationships are supposed to be "boring." Like if it's stressful-but-exciting the whole time, that's unsustainable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 12:14 AM
12

I'm just starting to internalize this. I started seeing a guy recently. It's too early to tell if he' HV, but I've felt so productive with work and general life stuff bc I'm not spending SO much time stressing about how things are going. Whereas the last couple guys I was dating, it was just a constant mindfuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 11:32 PM
1

WTF? 35?? I don't understand what's going on. Is it how they're raised?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 11:30 PM
63

One of my biggest turn offs is when you try to call it a night and a dude's like "nooo I wanted to hang out mooooreeee." Like calm down I already gave you too much of my time. Go call your mom instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 04:22 PM
5

Unlike those women who sext (lol wut), I am drive a pick up (no). Bet you can't steal this! (also no)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 03:32 PM
371

Ladies. The man is NOT the goal. The life is the goal and find a man that fits into YOUR life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 03:30 PM
10

Gross. Washing your sheets before a new partner comes over is the barest minimum. The bar is below the earth's crust.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 02:51 PM
22

God I've dated guys who don't even know what I mean when I say "flat sheet." Dude were you raised by feral cats?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 03:51 AM
50

Right?! Or even just, when a guy asks me on a date and I like him, I try to look nice but they show up in a t shirt and shorts, obviously unshowered? WTF is this even?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 03:12 AM
22

This is perfect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 10:46 PM
2

Hey are you testing for a specific reason? I ask bc a couple of the posts I've made didn't show up on new so I deleted and reposted and they did. Just wondering!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 09:46 PM
54

Is this on OLD? Usually it's because they're talking to someone for a few days, that chick loses interest, so they're fishing to make sure you're still around. Just unmatch. If it's guys you know IRL, it's just a douchey power thing, but same reason. Fishing to see if you're still interesting while putting 0 effort in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 09:15 PM
16

Wait, so he wants to be the best... loser? Cuz I think he's on the right track.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 08:53 PM
226

What? Married men earn more money and live longer. But hey, I'm all for these guys staying single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 08:49 PM
9

If he needs to focus on school now, let hm. Not your problem. If he wanted to see you, he'd be clear about that despite being busy. This is my example from the other side: I had a major deadline in May, the guy I was dating at the time wanted to meet up on a weekend I couldn't, but because I wanted to see him, I explicitly said that any other weekend would work for me so we made concrete plans. If someone likes you and wants to see you, they make sure you know. He could be into you, but if he's …
/r/askFDS19/09/20 08:02 PM
71

LMAOOO your response. I'm going to start using this. "Yeah I totally feel you. I just started seeing this 7 yo, but it's tough to make time between his karate lessons and homework, so we mostly hang out at the playground Saturday mornings."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 07:52 PM
55

My MA advisor never married and my PhD advisor is recently divorced. This seems to be the more common conclusion. The Marty Ginsbergs of the world are few and far between.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 07:49 PM
142

This is a man. Whenever they say stupid shit that sounds forced ("precious bits"), it's a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 05:50 PM
5

She needs to pay us a visit. How difficult is it to understand that, when I send a guy a sexy text and he's not enthusiastically reciprocating, it's an ACTIVE turn off? Or when I'm the only one initiating? They're blaming her for completely natural reactions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 03:16 PM
25

I've dated a couple guys who I suspect were on the spectrum but undiagnosed. I reacted similarly to you and I'm normally p secure in my relationships. The problem is these guys can be so content in their own bubbles that they don't see the need/desire to make these connections with their partners. It's not a problem, so there's no need to find a solution for them. The only thing you can really do is try to let it go and realize that you were never compatible to begin with. (I'm sure not everyone…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 03:00 PM
28

I personally would prefer brunch to dinner. The idea is that you want it to be in a context where you can actually have a conversation with someone and they're actively trying to court you.
/r/askFDS18/09/20 09:37 PM
21

Anytime someone "wants a relationship really badly," they really need to work on themselves. Like, realistically, she caves to his shit now, it'll only get worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:33 PM
8

If you're working full time and have other life stuff going on, def let your prof know. Usually, people try to be understanding if they see you're putting in a reasonable amount of effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:31 PM
20

Ok can I get some clarification on these "walk dates" bc I've just seen so many memes. Are men actually out here asking y'all to... go on a... walk??? They're AT LEAST offering to pay for some beverage or something right, it's not JUST walk (obv say no either way). I recently had a stint in the OLD world and the majority of guys I talked to at least had decent date/activity ideas. Is it an age or job status thing? One guy wanted to get bubble tea and.. I dunno walk or something but I unmatched i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:29 PM
32

Right. Like, if a guy cares sooo little about a first impression where he doesn't look at a word and think, "hmm what are those red squiggly lines? Maybe I should fix it," then it's not worth your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:01 PM
144

Please, and I cannot stress this enough, go your own way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 07:08 PM
14

So the fat hands thing. I was talking to a guy a while ago and we vid chatted for a month or before seeing each other irl. And I could NOT help but notice how fat his hands were! And pale! (I tend to prefer darker features.) But it was an acquaintance I've known for a while and the last time I saw him, he was in reasonable shape, but it'd been a couple years. I gave him the benefit of the doubt (famous last words) and we ended up hanging out irl. And I could not get over his gross chubby fingers…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 07:06 PM
3

I also don't like men who are too tall. Any time I've had sex w a guy who's a foot taller than me, it's been to awkward. Could be those specific guys, but it's now a turn off in my brain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 06:58 PM
7

Native American men also look fine af w long hair, but yeah it has to be well taken care of and a guy has to already be hot to rock it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 06:51 PM
9

Noses! When their noses are off it just fucks up the whole face. The last serious bf I had, I wouldn't have blamed him if he got a nose job bc he was otherwise p good looking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 06:48 PM
7

Looool no goatees. This isn't a music video from 1994, lads.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 06:44 PM
64

When we say "work on yourselves," getting a hobby is part of it so you don't spend your free time stalking a bunch of women chatting amongst themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 06:06 PM
21

Whenever a guy says "I'm sensitive," I'm out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 06:03 PM
9

This is my quarandream. I'm currently selling my place to get a little bungalow by the beach. Impulsive? Maybe. But yooooo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 06:01 PM
32

This is insane. Granted, I don't know if I would have been that heavy handed about it, but we all have to give up the shit our inner children want to be fucking adults. I would love to just play outside, color and eat candy and ice cream all the time, but guess what, I'm a fucking adult and deal with adult shit. Do I color and eat ice cream sometimes? Sure. Do I take up an entire room in my house needed for a BABY for it? Nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 04:38 PM
146

Because they don't give a shit about other people and are too focused on their games/bros/pr0ns/whatever to have an invested adult conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 03:22 PM
61

I actually didn't think penis size mattered until very recently in my dating life. Like, I assumed maybe I just don't get that much out of PiV. There are definitely penises that are too big and it's painful, but there are DEFINITELY penises that are too small (and let's not #badwomensanatomy here for the lurking scrotes - I've never birthed a child and my pussy isn't stretched out from sex or whatever those dudes believe). Also, the experience of having sex with someone who works out vs. not is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 03:20 PM
58

They think we're objects for their personal use and satisfaction. Full stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 03:06 PM
236

I just watched an acquaintance of mine do this when texting his mom. He was getting a bunch of msgs, so I asked about it. He goes, "yeah I just kind of choose one thing to reply to and ignore the rest." They know what they're doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:49 PM
79

Don't forget to vote with your wallets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:46 PM
2

More or less? Just trying to brush up on the ones I've already learned, but it's a constant battle tbh :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:39 PM
40

And wanted to meet in the morning? I'm honestly more confused than mad. But also a lil mad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:38 PM
3

I just did in paint tbh? I didn't know what else people were using.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 12:29 PM
3

Yep!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 04:24 AM
16

I can't believe they let this predator around college students.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 03:08 AM
4

https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2019/9/3/20847447/unsolicited-dick-pics-texas-law-harassment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:33 AM
75

That manbaby. I just.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:13 AM
29

Oh that's right, women aren't funny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 10:33 PM
10

WTF. I don't get it at all. I'm a 33yo woman who teaches college students, so actual legal adults. I can tell that some of my students are attractive. I have literal 0 inappropriate thoughts about them bc they're my STUDENTS. The literal power differential triggers my disgust reflex to think about them in any other capacity. How did half of the population miss this memo?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 09:13 PM
26

There's a law against this in Texas now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 09:08 PM
81

LOL "your problems" when I was doing my MA, I was dating this guy in my program who told me that he didn't like dating someone smarter than he was. Needless to say it didn't last and he ended up dropping out. So, no, this is not specifically your problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 06:46 PM
44

It's insane how they can't acknowledge a difference between noticing at leering. Like, sure I notice when people are attractive, men and women. But I'm not going to STARE at someone bc it's fucking awkward and I wouldn't want to make someone else feel uncomfortable bc I'm not a fucking asshole? Can they just not even control their own eyes? If that's the case, how are these people in charge of actual countries and shit?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 10:48 PM
107

Agree! Esp when it's the baby pic + pet pic + attractive female friend pic trifecta. Like I can FEEL you trying too hard through my phone screen. Also, throw in the hiking pic for a little extra.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 10:41 PM
51

Yeah it's like all those stereotypes from 90s sitcoms are complete trash. Most of my dating life has been me asking for space, explaining that no, I'm really not trying to marry/breed with the first guy who's good enough, begging them to go out and have their own friends/hobbies/careers/etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 08:28 PM
9

It is possible for anyone to become high value after being low value. I would argue that it takes A LOT of time, not just like, a year or two and A LOT of effort on their part. It sounds like this guy has set on that journey (maybe?) HOWEVER for you, the amount of work you're going to have to do to get over the past trauma is going to be a lot. I'd bet you're going to be thinking about it in 5yrs wondering if it's ever going to go back to the way it was before. Why do that to yourself? Just beca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 08:25 PM
111

Wow triggered. This shit is what my most recent ex would do in a fight. "We both let it get out of hand." No you fucking asshole. YOU did it. YOU said shit you regret now. YOU have issues communicating and processing your emotions. YOU made shit up about what I meant. GAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 08:20 PM
22

I don't know if this is a cultural thing or just my experiences, so I'm speaking anecdotally here, but in my dating experiences, I feel like white men are especially unashamed of their gross bodily functions? Like I've mostly dated white, Asian and Hispanic men, and the latter two at least feel shame about their gas/bowel movements, etc. But the white guys I've dated somehow think farting is funny?? I'm genuinely curious about what y'all's experiences with this is bc, again, maybe my experiences…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 08:12 PM
47

jfc a recent experience of mine: Him: "I am a master at giving head." Also him: "I absolutely under no circumstances will put my face anywhere near your vagina."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 08:02 PM
102

The number of women in this sub who have had shitty experiences dating gamers is an absolute mood.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 07:59 PM
26

You're right here. She should learn to refocus that energy on understanding who the actual bad guy is. These women are just existing. It's her loser ex that made the shitty decisions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 07:57 PM
12

OMG I saw this this morning. My first thought was like, great cause but did you HAVE to marry him??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 03:54 PM
9

Yes I haaaated them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 04:23 PM
17

Or just talk to women like they're human beings and not the targets? Like maybe?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 04:21 PM
2

How DARE women actually have boundaries that they stick to and not just hop on my dick when I want
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 04:16 PM
15

Let's support sex workers by making sure they're not trafficked into sex work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 10:12 PM
1

Lmao no. There is no hope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 12:17 AM
1161

lmao yeah when they say "women are just less horny than men" maybe it's bc you're wearing cargo shorts and I can see your blackheads from here, Tyler.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 12:16 AM
3

Oh certainly, but at least it narrows down the number of scrotes you might have to deal with. If someone's not willing to put in the effort for a freaking dating profile, they're almost certainly not gonna put in the effort for anything else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 12:14 AM
1

What are your criteria for whom you match with? If it's just based on pics, you're gonna get a lot of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 12:01 AM
50

Did you feel cute, Dan? I encourage you to reconsider.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 09:27 PM
79

Publicly negging your own obviously beautiful WIFE? Cool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 09:19 PM
69

"I liked this guy but he only wants to bone me without any emotional investment and I'm doing it even tho I'm still totally into him." What a fucking embarrassment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 09:18 PM
219

Let this serve as your ever present reminder: LVM do not see you as a human being. Only as an accessory. A guy I knew once told me that he wants to marry a hot woman so that on his wedding day, his friends would be jealous of him. For LVM, everything else about you is secondary. Your primary function is to add to their social status among other men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 05:42 PM
170

Men are offended by successful women. Full stop. When I started my PhD, my male friends felt the need to defend why they were just stuck in their current job situations, completely unprompted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 01:43 PM
78

I actually learned about this recently. We think that these mass shootings against women are new, but nope. Of course they're not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 03:29 AM
35

I wonder if mods of these relationshipy subs ban these abusers like they ban FDSers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 09:55 PM
70

lmao when a dude's shower is literally just this, or a crusty Irish Spring bar + Suave shampoo bottle filled half way with water, RUUUNNN.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 09:52 PM
152

Preach. I've dated guys who'd be wIlLInG tO sUpPoRt me if I gave up my entire fucking career!?!??!? lmaoooooo honey you cannot affort my designer shoe habit sry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 10:38 PM
7

I've been in a couple LTRs where I was the one propelling it forward. They were just never ready for what I wanted, but went along with it anyway instead of being honest about what they actually wanted. Never again. I can wait until someone wants the same things and it'll be up to them to make it happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 10:35 PM
24

I honestly wish I had this much audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 07:41 PM
5

Fr. Be kind but leave me alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 03:19 PM
19

Agreed but who knows how accurate this dude's description of it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 01:15 PM
34

If I ever live with a man again, we're going to have separate bedrooms. I'm literally the lightest sleeper. It doesn't seem like it should be that big of a deal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 01:14 PM
19

where do i get this shirt
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 11:21 PM
39

I dried up just watching the commercial.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 09:02 PM
7

Right? I can't imagine guys even care if you do anything with your nails, yet I still like to get mine done. Boi this is not for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:33 PM
108

The toxic guy's I've fucked have been super selfish and want the weirdest shit. I think this is only considered "good in bed" bc we live in a pornsick society.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 07:53 PM
77

Any time I see a well dressed man, I assume gay. It's like a point of pride for straight men to look like shit bc nO hOmO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 07:53 PM
165

It's literally science that on average women are more attractive than men. ​ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/201101/women-are-more-beautiful-men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 06:41 PM
19

You could describe my "type" with 50% of this list. Talk about a wake up call.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 06:26 PM
42

Middle class American males are the absolute worst about this. "Ugh but my mom didn't buy my fave tendies so now I don't know how to love."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 02:19 PM
89

FDS preaches to not tell men what you want because they will absolutely try to be that until you're hooked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 03:18 AM
66

Uh has anyone seen my faith in humanity? I seem to have misplaced it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:42 AM
22

Yeah I think a lot of LV behavior catches us off guard bc it's so hard to believe someone can be that shitty, so you just go with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:41 AM
25

Wow this is basically how the guys I dated in college lived. Surrounded by trash and dirt. Wasn't attractive on them tho tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:40 AM
26

Can we just not do this, like as a society. Please. I can't anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:38 AM
35

From my last ex: "I guess I'm just a bad guy then." "Yeah but you did XYZ."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:01 AM
172

Girl: I love him. The rest of us: But you can see him right
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 10:40 PM
56

Honestly, what's to stop men from complimenting each other, aside from their own issues and ingrained ideas of toxic masculinity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 07:37 PM
55

Any time a guy says something LV, I straight up delete the chat thread. You might think, "aw but what about all the old photos and memories, etc," but really it's just a weight being lifted off your brain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 07:36 PM
114

"This girl I'm seeing DoSeN't EvEn LiKe receiving oral."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 07:31 PM
47

Assume that he met someone else or was never really into you in the first place and just bored. It has nothing to do with you. Move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 07:30 PM
3

Travel, friends, butter? Yes pls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 06:20 PM
54

I don't even know how to respond to shit like this. Men make more than women in the SAME fields. The people hiring men for unsafe jobs are other men. The people giving men shit for being emotional are other men. Hey manosphere, maybe y'all should be addressing the patriarchy too?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 05:25 PM
29

Every time I meet a guy who describes himself as a mALe FemInIst, I know we're not gonna get along.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 04:54 PM
6

He couldn't afford my hourly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 04:52 PM
14

Yeah, especially bc common sense dictates that there's a sensible middle ground. Like, snooping? Bad. But also, if they're actively hiding their phone? Also bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 04:47 PM
24

but he's a sApIoSexUaL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 04:28 PM
3

Don't fall into the trap of attaching to someone just because you're alone and in pain. You're going to ruin the friendship when you wake up one day and you realize you're STILL NOT AT ALL attracted to this man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:36 PM
44

Yeah in dating, I'm generally p chill/independent and not anxious/jealous/stressed about it AT ALL, but there are some guys who are so stingy with their affection that it feels like you have to constantly either be winning them over or checking to see if they're not talking to other women. It's a sign that you should not be with that person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:32 PM
104

It's like when you praise a puppy for not shitting on the floor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:29 PM
15

Please tell me this isn't what I think it is. PLEASE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 03:18 AM
11

You should def not be getting involved w a dude from work who's 10yrs older than you are. If he's calling you cute, that's inappropriate. For all you know he's married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:25 AM
35

I'd say engaged three times but never married is a red flag. Either this dude can't commit or his exes figured it out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:21 AM
8

It honestly doesn't even sound like y'all are dating? Like, if he compliments your appearance beyond like "nice coat" or "cool glasses" or something, that's inappropriate for a workplace setting. Are the conversations mostly work focused? It honestly sounds like he's just more of a professional connection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:16 AM
48

"It's her fault that I reacted like an asshole." Classic scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:12 AM
63

She feels bad for running away??? I'd fucking sprint to Mars and never look back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 12:11 AM
19

You want different things. You're not going to change his mind. You should have left yesterday. But do not move into this guy's house that he owns solely. Then you'll basically be financially dependent on him. If you put your name on the mortgage and you're not married, it could affect your credit. You've really put yourself in a bad position here. Move out ASAP and don't move in with him until he marries you, otherwise you'll have very little legal protection, depending on the common law marria…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 10:24 PM
32

Why were you even over at his place a week in? Just because he's not a disgusting broke slob doesn't mean you know anything about him. Good looking guys w good jobs can also be super shitty - and frankly often are. If you loved yourself you wouldn't have felt so easily pressured. Focus on that for now. I hope you consider this a lesson.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 10:19 PM
73

It also makes you more reliant on them because you don't 100% know what the plan is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 10:15 PM
15

I just discovered her music kind of recently and I'm hooked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 10:13 PM
22

No, adults get hurt and then get over it. It's part of life. You will be hurt. He will be hurt. But then you will both learn how to cope and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 10:12 PM
48

It doesn't matter how great he is. It sucks when you have to break up with someone you like because they don't fit in your life rn, but it's always (and I mean ALWAYS) the right decision. You will meet other men. You will not live another life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 10:08 PM
3

Whichever you're more comfortable with so that you get your actual message across.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 08:51 PM
104

Start with a compliment on her looks? Check. Suggest no effort date? Check. With Alcohol? Check. Anyone else get a bingo?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 07:56 PM
117

Yes girl. I think there's this phenomenon where it's like, ok I am way out of this dude's league he should obviously just be into me. And when they're not, it sticks in your brain bc the rejection hits harder, so you end up romanticizing them bc it's like wait what. So yeah it's important to remember that if they don't like you, who gives a shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 06:17 PM
10

I'm similar. It's hard to accept that someone else wants to make you happy when you're so used to providing pleasure for another person. I think it just takes time, building trust and prob therapy. I will say tho the differential between once/week and 2/day might be too much to compromise on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 05:24 PM
45

Yeah the age gap is ESPECIALLY relevant giving the situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 05:18 PM
30

Lol right? The market dictates your value bruh. You can't just assign yourself a SMV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 05:15 PM
3

I agree w you. Most of my closest friends are dudes I met when I was gaming competitively in college. But I also actively worked to implement strong boundaries w these dudes to the point that, when a new guy comes into our social circle, he'll get absolutely dragggged by everyone if he tries hitting on me. But if it weren't for shared hobbies and experiences we prob won't be friends. Like, I don't think a man can randomly walk up to a woman on the street and just be friends or whatever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 02:43 PM
22

Just say it. If he doesn't respond well, ghost. You have literally invested nothing in this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 02:12 PM
0

Can you be more specific?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 01:50 PM
57

A LOOOOOOTTTTT of shitty dating experiences tbh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 01:04 PM
20

Whaaaaat the fuuuuck
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 01:03 PM
48

I really hate the "impress me" approach. For example, this guy I was fooling around with a while ago made some comment like, "let's see what you've got" or something. Like, bro you're here to make sure I'm having a good time. You're going to have a good time by default.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 02:23 AM
34

How the fuck do these definitions of mediocrity have the audacity to think we're supposed to impress them with how FuN we are?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 02:15 AM
4

Yeah, I started talking to this guy who could potentially be HV and is receptive and emotionally available, and I just keep thinking about this LVM that I had been talking to briefly who has actually no redeeming qualities and treated me like shit. Because my brain is addicted to the dopamine highs that come from toxic relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 12:22 AM
54

Yeah I've had a lot of "wtf was I thinking" moments since joining FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 11:27 PM
39

A dude will fuck you even if he doesn't like you. So to them it's like, hey here's some sex until you meet a chick you're actually into.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 11:21 PM
12

1000%. It's a dude's way of saying that he wants the sex but none of the responsibility of having to give a shit about another person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 11:13 PM
20

They get used to the dopamine hits and then you take it away, so it becomes more like an addiction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 07:32 PM
9

Yeah it's about attitude and the way you carry yourself. My long time friends say I look the same as I did at 20 and I'm 33 now, but I notice the world interacts with my differently despite looking the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 04:02 PM
39

bUt mUh EvO bIoLoGy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 02:12 PM
93

50/50 at McDonald's. Girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 11:05 PM
26

I love how people are like FDS IS A HATE SUB, but all the comments on this post are like, dude stop fetishizing yourself and get therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 11:03 PM
3

Are you going to sue for defamation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 10:57 PM
53

Wow this hits hard rn
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 06:37 PM
59

But how do I get him to... Yeah, lemme stop you right there sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 06:15 PM
190

At the end of they day, you get one. Imagine just going out and buying whatever house/car/etc. you come across. Much like these big ticket items, relationships are an investment. Go to open houses, test drive cars. Be selective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 06:12 PM
3

English teacher here. Can confirm we do this. :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:03 PM
11

Up there with men NEEEED porn/to get off every 4hrs/to date much younger women/etcetc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:51 PM
5

Lol what? Did he want them to use a nonword for mouth, eyes, nose? NEM? MNE? Maybe: W - O - M - mouth E - eyes N - nose for the sake of #eQuAlItY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:49 PM
221

iT's CoOL i WoN't FoRcE hIm Sis maybe some day he'll pick you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:01 PM
2

Ghost him. But let it be a lesson. Now you know your boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:15 PM
79

Agreed. I have never ever regretted a break up. I have regretted letting relationships last beyond their expiry date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:13 PM
9

I've always had it default as Ms. even from when I was in my early 20s. Miss is like for little girls to me. I do have my students/colleagues refer to me by my first name though but that's a personal preference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:00 PM
25

Imagine being the girls who's like, omg thanks let's meet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:55 AM
43

Yeah, if a guy starts with something like, "you're pretty" then I know it's not going anywhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:58 AM
14

I dated a guy who was like 5'6" or something (I'm 5"4'). It super wasn't a problem for me in and of itself. What was a problem was that he kePT BRINGING IT UPPPP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 10:19 PM
49

"god i hate these females on dating apps shallow cunts"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 08:42 PM
49

The bar is melting in the fiery depths of hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:07 PM
17

Apps are built to make you as addicted as possible. Do you have any other hobbies? Try to find groups that give you better quality social satisfaction than socials.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:07 PM
128

Normalize saying "gross"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 03:08 AM
11

Assume always and focus on your own shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 10:32 PM
69

To his credit, when he's right he's right. My beef w JBP is that (1) as someone who engages in social science research, I've heard him talk about methodological issues, and my dude just seems like he doesn't understand core concepts. Like, when he talks about postmodernism, for example, the shit he says is like what you'd expect some rando neckbeard on YT to say, not someone w a PhD. And (2) Peterson followers seem to think his self-help advice is the end all be all, when really it's just basic …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 04:17 PM
20

Even if you have a lot going on in your life, if you make yourself available for a guy, it lowers your overall value TO HIM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 02:19 PM
1

Eh I have a ton of male friends bc my primary hobby is male dominated. But I think it's impossible to do unless you have something in common, like a hobby, work, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 02:18 PM
26

Right? Like how about y’all sort your shit out before damaging another woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 10:28 PM
55

Beeeeen thereeeee. I tend to have nerdy interests and nerdy dudes just do NOT take care of themselves. But it is honestly a WORLD of difference to sleep w someone who you find visually appealing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 06:53 PM
42

i WaS tEsTiNg YoU 🤡 lmfao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 06:18 PM
6

I just did this! I noticed that the music I listen to really affects my mood and perspective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 06:15 PM
16

I slept w this guy once and during sex I complimented his dick right. LITERALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF SEX he ask whether I had been with anyone bigger??? Like, yes bro but just take the fucking compliment bc this is an inappropriate conversation to be having rn??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 04:48 PM
24

I'm the same way. Have you ever tried reading erotica? I haven't really bc so much of it's so bad, but it seems like it could be a reasonable solution.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 04:43 PM
3

r/FDSSuperFans
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 02:58 PM
130

I guess I'll wash my ass but nO hOmO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 02:57 PM
136

Honestly just some fucking effort. M O I S T U R I Z E.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 02:56 PM
48

Porn in poisoning men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 10:15 PM
7

Low EQ. Society doesn't force men to pay attention to social cues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 09:10 PM
11

"I want to have sex with you once. Maybe twice."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 08:59 PM
6

I tend to take a really long time to warm up to men, so if someone asks me out like, immediately, I just unmatch. I have gone on dates w guys after a short chat if I feel like there's chemistry, but those never amount to anything so why bother.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 07:04 PM
9

You're getting downvoted for these comments bc that's not how it works. He doesn't care if you reject him. He has 3 other girls lined up and he'll just replace you with another one. He doesn't think about your feelings. You need to stop thinking about his.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 05:12 PM
54

Nah bruh. This is some feel-sorry-for-me sad sack bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 04:08 PM
35

Gurl. He was trying to see which girl was free when. If he's not making plans with you after that, he's making plans with someone else. Just focus on yourself and be busy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 03:24 PM
60

I barfed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 03:21 PM
33

It's all lessons babe. You wouldn't have gotten to where you are now without em.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 03:18 PM
15

So I will say that I've gotten better about saying no when a guy whines about me leaving early. Like, if I say I have to go and a dude's like, noooo stayyyy. Then I do feel comfortable being like, "no, please respect my boundaries." But to me it's a major turn off when guys are pushy before the date so it rarely gets to that point. But also, defs don't say that you've got nothing going on. Sometimes I'll schedule things, even just a call w a friend, just to say I have something else to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 03:15 PM
21

Sis sort your shit out. He's using you as an emotional crutch bc he's not together enough to get out of this relationship himself. They're both toxic people and the fact that you're letting him use you suggests you also have unaddressed issues. It's one thing to have a friend vent to you about their relationship problems, it's another when it causes you emotional pain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 03:11 PM
26

Do you not feel comfortable giving an excuse? Like I wish I were a bad bitch who could just be like, "ok time to go" but I usually say like, "welp I have an early meeting" or something. It gets me out of the situation and there's always the risk that if you offend the guy he might retaliate somehow, so making something up feels a little safer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 03:07 PM
35

Of course this is a thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 03:02 PM
3

Yeah, it means that you're attracted to the uncertainty of it instead of the actual person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 02:50 PM
26

Who tf gets wet for thrifty?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 04:23 PM
289

The older I get, the less overall sex I have, but the higher quality. This is why we vet for generosity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 04:19 PM
22

Aw it's so cute when they're racist and sexist at the same time uwu uwu
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 04:18 PM
3

My best guess would be he's a dating addict. Does he have other addiction issues? The first few weeks/months of dating are such a rush that people who lack self-awareness don't realize that they're only in it for the dopamine hits. Either way, it sounds like not your problem. If he doesn't want you, you're better off. If he has emotional issues he was using you to fix, you're better off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 04:15 PM
330

"Thanks babe." Snooze.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 04:05 PM
8

You can only really control your own actions. Truthfully, I did't get over my mom's pickmeitis until my late 20s when I finally stopped hating my body and trying to get men to like me and do things for me. I've been ED free for like 5yrs now. So there is light at the end of the tunnel, but I'm also pretty distant from my parents. Can you talk to a therapist? The thing that really helped me was having gained a footing in my career and getting my master's degree. So I would say focus on life stuff…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 02:35 PM
46

I have male friends who are considering starting their own OF accts and posting themselves. The future is an unforgiving hellscape. Remember when people got actual jobs? Pepperidge farm remembers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 02:28 PM
1

Stay mad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 01:57 PM
18

Yeah, it's important to go into it understanding that a LVM does not see you as a 3D human being with your own needs/preferences/goals/thoughts/etc. They're conditioned to see us as their trophy or fantasy or whatever. You cannot influence someone who doesn't respect you to begin w.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 01:03 PM
62

Now that they're not the sole breadwinners, it's easier to tell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 01:50 AM
8

I recently ended a relationship with a guy I'd been friends with for 10yrs. I really enjoyed hanging out with him, so like, this should be awesome right? Nope. Dating was a completely different story and now I never want to speak to him again. Take it slowly to make sure that he can handle being a partner and doesn't just expect to be your friend who you also have sex with. These two things are not the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 12:46 AM
208

MEN ARE TERRIBLE IN BED! It's unreal. For people who seem to want it so much, you'd think they'd try to get good at it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 12:41 AM
59

I would even settle for a guy just not getting annoyed/ignoring me when I text to check up? The bar is on a journey to the center of the earth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 12:34 AM
8

I don't drive if I'm with my male partner, but this is how my parents are, unless there's an actual reason. I've never had a partner that has any sort of issues with this but I tend to date men who are culturally similar to me. As for PDA, anything beyond hand holding/arm around each other/occasional peck is a no go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 09:15 PM
10

ESH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 09:11 PM
51

Who gives a shit if they think you owe them? Plus this dude clearly wants to do it. Treating you to things makes him feel good. Let him be happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 08:07 PM
69

So he can get another woman pregnant by himself but can't raise the child by himself. Cool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 08:04 PM
70

This is literally like when men say they're SaRcAsTiC in their dating profile instead of just saying something funny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 07:57 PM
6

This is fucking middle school shit. Why would you want to appease this guy? He's prob into you and feeling weird about it. Sounds like not your problem imo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 07:48 PM
3

He is not great. He is not kind hearted. He is not loving. He is not caring. If he were, he would get his ass in therapy and resolve his self esteem issues. He does not do so because he is selfish and more interested in immediate gratification instead of long term happiness. He knows it's hurting you and he still does it; therefore, he means to hurt you. If someone loves you they go out of their way to not cause you pain. He does not love you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 07:37 PM
10

you love doing it. bruh lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 07:07 PM
3

Completely agree. If I have to smile listen to some dude's snoozefest story about work that day, I would also appreciate a little fucking generosity tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 07:05 PM
41

"Listens when I talk," "can cook" and "doesn't live in own filth" are moonshots.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 06:53 PM
93

Unattractive men have treated me like shit more often than attractive ones. Dear RPers, it's not your appearance. It's your terrible personalities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 01:28 PM
3

My two best friends are men. I talk to them every day. Just exchanging memes/jokes/whatever. Never anything beyond completely platonic. The one that has a girlfriend, I've met her. We've all hung out. She and I have conversations on our own. I would never put myself in a position to do something that'd make her uncomfortable out of a sense of respect for their relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 10:20 AM
32

I honestly wanna know the match rate of something like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 11:00 PM
80

OUT! OUT! OUT! I work in a very international industry and you see it all the time where women give up their whole lives to follow a man to an international job, but if it's the woman working abroad? Nope, they "try" the LDR thing and inevitably split.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 08:05 PM
4

Humor is the #1 thing that attracts me to a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 08:00 PM
39

He met someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 07:57 PM
39

Send them a link to Better Help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 05:37 PM
44

lmao sis I'm in my mid 30s and just dating dudes in their mid/late 20s. These boys need skincare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 05:35 PM
55

Yeah you gotta assume stuff like this is largely transactional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 03:51 PM
18

Yasss thank you. LADIES. There are too many goddamn excuses being flung around on this sub. Do not just come here and whinge about your problems. When people here give you advice LISTEN. If you disagree, genuinely reflect and ask yourself why you're continuing with the behavior that some objective stranger can recognize as problematic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 03:46 PM
68

I do not get it. Like, I know he's Brad Pitt (TM) but he's also saggy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 03:41 PM
7

I've never even seen this sub before. This is the bad place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 02:11 PM
11

Whaaaaat.....???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 02:07 PM
26

The fact that women have internalized "overthinking" as a negative trait is such bullshit. We just think. If a guy acts or says something stupid, we're confused. Just be real and we won't be confused. It. is. not. hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 01:38 PM
4

It sounds like he needs to be completely deleted from your life. He adds no value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 01:34 PM
14

IME, men w less experience are better at taking directions bc they don't assume they know everything. Dude w eXpErIeNcE think VERY highly of their own skills and are worse at listening to your needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 12:30 PM
3

Does it feel like too much? Does he just somehow insert himself into your life? That's not how real, normal, meaningful friendships form. They're not forced. It's not like you wake up one day and you're BFFs or love someone. So if you feel like he's dumping a ton of affection on you at once, that's love bombing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 12:23 PM
7

Look into cognitive behavioral therapy. Every time you think of him or want to reach out to him, use that energy for something else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 12:19 PM
39

A classic finding in psychology is that if you want someone to like you, get them to do things for you, don't do things for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 12:13 PM
17

Ah yes, obviously some 3edgy5me dude in the comments was like "but women are equal right??" My eyes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 12:12 PM
6

So, funnily enough, recently I had been getting close to an old acquaintance bc he had just become roommates with my (male) BFF. I sort of had a thing for this guy but noticed he was like, affection bombing me? Then it turned hot/cold. Over the same period of time, he was really starting to piss off my BFF, and they'd only lived together for like a month. I've had this happen before where I was close to getting involved with a guy who charmed my female friends but my male friends raised red flag…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 01:05 AM
32

Take yourself out for the rest of the night sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 12:34 AM
14

I love this romanticized "you deserve better/one that got away" bullshit. It's their fucking fairytale they can tell themselves so they can wallow in self pity. So immature.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 12:33 AM
21

This wasn't meant for you. Definitely do not get attached to men from OLD. If he wasn't interested, so be it. It's not a comment on you personally. There are going to be literally dozens to fill this one's void.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 12:21 AM
20

Imagine bragging about paying for a first date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 09:08 PM
7

Can you have flowing conversations with people you aren't into? What common interests do you have? What are things that you feel strongly about? You can talk about stuff you like too btw, not just wait for him to bring stuff up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:09 PM
11

Yes. Esp now during quarantine or other high stress times and certain times of the month. I've been a serial monogamist so the affection is usually available but I have NOOO idea how to make this go away. Hanging out w/ friends/fam doesn't help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 05:59 PM
52

Yeah, bc in a relationship women are usually the ones who make the whole thing happen. So once you've exhausted all of the possibility out of it you're done. Men just sort of roll with it and then are like, wait, what do you mean this isn't going well? Oh maybe I should have actually put in some effort..??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 05:45 PM
35

VR headset + porn. Yeah, it's as degenerate as it sounds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 03:30 PM
35

Magical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 03:38 AM
14

When a guy describes women as "perfect," they're living in a fantasy world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 03:11 AM
15

Good point. I tend to be secure with secure people, but then I'm anxious when I date avoidant people. So sometimes I'm attracted to projects because I jUsT wAnNa FiX ThEm and end up being mommybangmaid. Def something I'm going to be reflecting on now. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 03:09 AM
20

Oh, I mean, most of our interactions are largely humorous so it just makes sense in that context. I'm starting to do it with my male friends in general too and it just seems to be generally acceptable to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 01:38 AM
46

I started calling this guy I was talking to sis/gurl bc he was calling me bro lololol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 01:02 AM
3

I have a few male friends who were super LV when we were in our early 20s but grew into HV in their late 20s/30s. So I do think people can change, but I also think it takes A LOT of time (like more than just a couple years) and internal motivation (not external).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 12:03 AM
64

The more decision making roles I've assumed, the clearer this becomes. So many subpar men in high level roles bc they're unfounded sense of confidence outshines their utter incompetence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 07:39 PM
7

Connect with friends. You're prob craving some attention and intimacy. Doesn't nec have to be w this dude. Honestly, I'll hop on a dating app and just talk to guys. I don't know if this strategy is for everyone, but it reminds me that there are plenty of guys out there, so I don't feel overly attached to that one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 06:27 PM
2

Babe, I gotta say, if your dealbreakers are occupation and language, but not treating you like crap, you should rethink your priorities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 04:27 PM
3

Yeah, people need to learn how to be CAREFUL. Like, if someone hurts you once, they shouldn't just try to fix THAT problem, but also think "ok how can I avoid making this person I love feel like this again?" Like, it might happen occasionally, we're all fallible, but it goal should be to minimize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 04:20 PM
9

I got through like the first half of the first episode of Playful Kiss. Super gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 03:09 PM
12

I had this male prof in grad school whose response to students saying they had too much work was to sleep less lmao. He made all of his female grad students cry and his male students get close. I was planning on working with him until I saw how he treated his graduate students. We worked together for 4 semesters then I just noped out of there bc dudes a massive asshole. I have not spoken a single word to that man since.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 03:06 PM
12

I'm in education/social sciences and the men attracted to my field are absolute trash. They're more driven by status than actual ambition or wanting to help people, so they get the decision making positions and don't do a gd thing, while HIGHLY competent woman choose to be in the classroom because they actually care about the kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 03:02 PM
26

OMG I just finished S5 and the scene where Luis was completely fucking gaslighting Molly. I wanted to cry for her. Granted, she is also a dumbass in this situation, but he was PUUURE fucking evil.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 01:14 AM
9

Is it a major Indian language? So, all of the American cities I've lived in have massive Indian populations from all over India.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 10:55 PM
30

Sis the number of Indian doctors in the US is out of the world. You'll find manyyyyy more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 10:25 PM
48

This reads like every difficult convo I've had with every guy I've dated in the military. Cheers!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 10:22 PM
108

"I want you to commit to this situation but I don't actually want to put any effort in."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 09:20 PM
105

I think men think we're all just so desperate to be wifed we'll literally marry anyone. Like bruh, we're just talking, I have standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 09:14 PM
76

Right? And they shame each other when they're trying to be respectful/considerate/kind/etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 09:11 PM
374

I agree with you. It's easier now that I'm older. I've noticed the world, and specifically men, interact with me differently now, more respect, they listen when I talk, etc. For the younger FDSers out there, just learn to hold your ground. Do not raise your voice or show emotions. They'll think you're cRaZy. Just recognize that they're poison and walk away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 09:09 PM
104

I saw this. Imagine being so far up your own ass that you struggle to believe that people are out here tryna do some good in the world
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 08:56 PM
81

God I love this. How tf did we grow up in a society where women were told they need to be hot AND ambitious and we told men they could be neither?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 08:01 PM
19

0%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:49 PM
28

Yep. I unmatched immediately. The audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 02:58 PM
30

The quote is "huge tracts of land" and he was commenting on the size of my breasts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 02:49 PM
16

I don't know if there's anything super problematic about the film in general, it's just sort of immature. Someone can think it's funny I guess, but it's just sort of low brow humor. In my HS, a lot of people were really into this movie and used to quote it. I guess it's fine when kids think it's funny, but for adult men to still refer to it, it's like, get better references and a better sense of humor?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 02:14 PM
14

Anyone who struggles with things like self-confidence, emotional processing, communication, openness, empathy, etc. is going to have a rough time in relationships. In general, I've found that women who don't date tend to do so by choice and spend their 20s trying to be better humans, whereas the men I've known who are like this tend to blame everyone else for their forever alone status. I have a few male friends who used their single years to figure out what was wrong with themselves and improve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 02:11 PM
8

Some dude also opened w a compliment about my brows. Is this a thing??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 12:49 PM
20

There should be an app that gives reviews of dudes on OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 11:42 AM
13

I agree with this. After growing up in suburban US, then living in a bunch of other countries, my preferences have changed a ton.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 11:26 AM
50

So I'm a woman with a lot of close male friends due to my hobbies. I have VERY strict personal boundaries with my male friends bc sure, if I wanted to and they're single, they would. Like, I might talk to a guy friend about a relationship problem to get some perspective, but it would be unacceptable to cuddle on the couch, even if he's single. Do they ONLY talk about relationship problems? In my entire life, I've never had any awkward issues with male friends who are happily cuffed. IME, once my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 11:24 AM
15

I honestly don't mind answering that question after getting to know someone, but jesus when it's basically the first thing a guy says it's so fucking gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 11:08 AM
20

wtf why does he wanna know so bad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:16 AM
9

I have been grinding through this show. It's an absolute dumpster fire. These people are all just the worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 03:12 AM
33

I wouldn't say this is a red flag yet. I would just be on the look out for increased laziness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 03:10 AM
28

I stopped reading 2x yeaaarsss ago. It's honestly terrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 03:08 AM
39

Block it out sis. Learn from her errors. But same tho. I'm 33 and my mom has only JUST stopped asking me when I'm going to find a rich man. Mom, I am a rich man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 02:55 AM
11

It's insane how insecure men are when you're a successful, ambitious woman. When I talk about my job or financial situation, I have male friends who feel the need to justify why they aren't as far along in their lives as I am. Like, bruh I'm not here to judge? But the insecurity just forces it's way through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 11:37 PM
13

They literally just try to fuck with us, to push our boundaries. Who teaches them this? Other men? The media? All of the above? Like this person prob doesn't even think this will work. Who teaches girls that it's ok to give in to stuff like this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:23 PM
150

So on reddit there are a lot of guys who talk about how they've never had a gf well into their 20s/30s. The advice for them is always just, put yourself out there. Well, I started dating a guy who I had been friends with for over a decade. We made out a few times in college but nothing ever really came of it and we lost touch. We met back up and sort of hit it off and started dating. I thought it would be great, I already liked hanging out with him right. Well, in all that time, he had NEVER eve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:14 PM
5

Yeah, in general, I would say the very first year of a man's life where he's anywhere near an adult is 28, and even then, they're like fledgling adults. For women, it's like 24. Not everyone obv, just an observation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 07:59 PM
11

I agree with you. I think it's about two people having a strong sense of self and giving mutual respect. Like, I'm 34 now and can choose whether or not I want to date a 54yo for example. If I chose to do so (I wouldn't bc ew, but), it would be my complete autonomous choice. Whereas when I was 19, I dated a guy who was 28 because he pursued me and I fell for it. It was less my decision than an impulse. I hope that makes sense. But when I was mid-20s, living on my own, had a job, degree, etc, I do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 07:56 PM
7

Hmm good question. I'd say that grooming is intentional. Like an older man pretending to be a shoulder to cry on for a younger woman and then turning the situation sexual when he's gained her trust. I wouldn't consider myself groomed when I as 19 dating a 28yo (gross, I know), so I might not be the best person to ask about grooming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 07:51 PM
35

So, in society today, men are protagonists and women are accessories. Men think they're perspectives are right and virtuous and women are misguided and can be, daresay, crazy. Older women who have the life experience to know themselves won't put up with it. Younger women will buy into that they don't really know what they're doing and need a guiding hand. Therefore, men feel that they can overlay their own self onto a younger woman's person. When I was younger, I dated older guys and it was very…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 07:27 PM
35

If a guy asks me to split the bill on a first date, I'm not seeing him again on a second date. He's made it clear that he is not interested in me romantically or sexually. I'm from the Southern US, so it's generally accepted that men are going to pay for the first few days. I'm happy to pick up the tab after seeing someone several times. So, I generally bring it up only when a guy asks to split the check, but it's rare that we'd a month in or whatever and he asks to split. The few times it's com…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 05:37 PM
5

WELP that's enough internet for today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 05:22 PM
8

I think you win this thread 🙁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:53 PM
4

I second posting an update to this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:29 PM
12

I'm in a fellowship in my field (education/social sciences) and there's often this conversation about what we can do to attract more men to these disciplines. It's super fucked up imo bc in the male dominated fields (STEM, business, etc), I do not imagine they're having the same convo w this level of earnestness. So just fuck all of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:19 PM
87

I don't split bills. I explain that to guys I'm in LTRs with. I do like treating because I care about this person, but it's on my terms. So I explain to guys I'm dating that either I pay or you pay but we do not split bills. Otherwise we're just friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:14 PM
4

Oh totally. Infuriating that he dgaf for the entire year we were dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:11 PM
6

It's the effort imo. My best guy friend does this sort of thing and it's better for his back. But the idea that someone just... passively accepts a suboptimal situation, I got questions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:10 PM
18

But they spend $1000s on their gaming set up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:03 PM
6

I dated a guy who had a floor mattress. As soon as I broke up with him, he got the gd boxspring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:02 PM
66

IT'S NOT NECESSARILY HIS FAULT. That's it. I'm out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:15 AM
35

I think it's one thing to have preferences and it's another if a dude's fetishizing women from a certain race and ONLY dates them. Cuz at that point he's not seeing them as whole humans, but sex toys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 12:06 AM
5

Right?! Like, "uhhh I want to get to know someone as a friend to see if we have a lot in common and go out to eat together a couple times a week and maybe do activities, see if there's any attraction there, but no, not dating, that's too much of a commitment."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 12:04 AM
15

Any guy I've dated who wanted to do it in front of a mirror was that guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 09:42 PM
10

So while he's prob at work? That's a bit weird, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:38 PM
8

Can you call the police
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:37 PM
37

You should be focusing on getting your shit together financially. The more you rely on this guy the more he thinks you owe him. A relationship should be two (mostly) fully actualized people coming together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 06:43 PM
10

Domestic abuse in the marines is astronomical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 05:11 PM
24

She says some super problematic shit, but when she's right she's right. I watched some of her vids before some of the more recent controversies discussed by D'Angelo Williams on YT. At first I liked her bc her advice on some things is p straight forward and useful, but after several vids, I felt like she's often full of shit. So maybe watch the vids w the titles that appeal to you, but take everything w a grain of salt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 05:04 PM
5

Men are conditioned to think that women are just trying to get wifed. Like, dude I like you but not THAT much. From now on, just take what you want from a situation and stop giving a fuck about what they think. Like, for any dating situation, who cares if he thinks you're annoying or clingy. If he can't handle it, he'll make that clear. This is why these situationships are shitty though, no structure and people get confused and men don't have the EQ to navigate it. Just do it yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 04:56 PM
15

I also interpret basic human decency from men I'm dating as some sort of blaring vermilion siren because I have only dated shitty guys with serious emotional issues. In all seriousness tho, on it's face, this doesn't sound like anything to be worried about. Stay vigilant tho. If his behavior turns into something that actually causes you pain, end it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 04:50 PM
72

Fucking like porn because in their own minds they're surrounded by cameras so they want to give a good performance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 04:46 PM
74

Go do fun shit. Do you have family you can see? Go to the beach? I spent a summer in Ghana during grad school and loved it! Take amazing photos and post them to IG and make your American friends jealous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 04:28 PM
50

"I want to see how much of my bullshit you'll take." #justcoolgirltingz
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 04:25 PM
134

Yeah, dude's got a point. Sucks to be held to some modicum of accountability, when women literally cannot walk alone in public without being harassed. I feel for the guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 04:24 PM
39

Honestly there is just so much dick out there. Dick that will be nice to you. What the fuck do these men have over these women?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 04:22 PM
22

Learn how to block and forget about people. It feels like a weight being lifted off of your brain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 04:19 PM
60

Men aren't held accountable enough. If women in general didn't put up with this shit, they'd stop doing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 04:18 PM
88

The not eating pussy thing is appalling. The earning potential bothers me less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 01:14 PM
30

I was sitting at a freaking Panera earlier today and some creepy just sat there putting whiskey in his coffee and staring at me. I wish I had this energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 04:27 AM
124

Anyone trying to make you jealous is trying to cause you pain. No one needs that energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 04:26 AM
21

I'll take that as a recommendation. I've been looking for a new kdrama after I finish 90 Day Fiance :) (aka scrote city).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 12:40 AM
27

Yeah I can hear the strain in her voice. It breaks my heart. She's so young.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 09:40 PM
11

Realize that your worth is beyond your ability to sexually please a man and sometimes men just don't want to have sex and it has nothing to do with you. At least you've realized this and now you can grow as a person. Be kind and let this guy go though. It's already too much for him to deal with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 09:37 PM
36

hE oFfErEd To HeLp
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 06:13 PM
109

I love how the whole internet banded together to drag this basic white boi for not valuing women's pleasure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 05:58 PM
40

I pray no woman reproduces with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:22 PM
7

OMG I've noticed this! I hadn't used reddit in YEARS and when I came back (thanks, covid) half of the porn on r/all is femboys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 12:23 PM
8

He knows he can reach out to you and you'd respond, BUT HE DOESN'T. I have several male friends on the spectrum who are perfectly capable of pursuing women. It's not the autism. Even if hE's ShY, lacking any confidence to even talk to a girl is a red flag that signals a mess of emotional issues you want no part of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 12:20 PM
34

Who fucking told men we want to hear about how pretty we are? Like, dude I know. I can see. It's literally the least interesting thing about a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 12:15 PM
26

TRUTH. Honestly, even when I'm coupled I keep it under wraps bc you lose so much respect from colleagues when as a non-single woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 12:13 PM
157

He literally only even asked the question so that he could talk about his own wants. So fucking self-centered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 12:09 PM
11

Just stop giving in to things. Learn to say no or do something by yourself if they aren't interested. Start small and you'll get used to it. Don't like a restaurant he suggests? Say you don't wanna go. Wanna see a movie he doesn't? Go alone or with some friends. Tbh I don't know that dating a guy who's 10ish years older than you is going to tolerate this, but fuck him. I've noticed that guys who are that much older than me are going to disrespect me every step of the way. Also, when I was in my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 12:08 PM
2

Good point! I hadn't seen this dude in 10yrs or something and he aged terribly. I don't know what his wife sees in him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 12:01 PM
3

I'd try to find local networking groups. It'd just be more beneficial to you overall. Ask your profs. It's important to not be in the habit of overly relying on men for this sort of thing bc of possible implications/assumptions on their part when you actually get out into the working world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 10:31 PM
5

Making up a therapist for this story was a good touch tho, lends some credibility even tho a therapist saying that people don't change is literally the most transparent bullshit I've ever read. I dated a guy like this. We hooked up in college and he had never been with anyone since. We then started dating a couple years ago. At first he was saying he didn't want it to be serious because he wanted to eXpErIeNcE oTHeR WoMen. Like bro, it's been a decade and you still haven't done that. By the time…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 10:27 PM
42

I just had a meal with an older man who is a long time acquaintance/professional contact. He's even more of a shitbag now than he used to be. Even with his new MUCH younger wife, he still somehow expected me to fuck him. The audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 07:49 PM
10

Oh, I don't know if I'd go quite that far. I'm mostly referring to just, who'd they'd fuck. I think actually dating someone has a whole different set of complex bullshit that makes people get their shit twisted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:52 PM
34

If it makes you feel any better, they're only nice to women they think are hot. If they think she's unattractive, they'll happily fuck her than treat her like shit. 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:45 PM
7

If you start doing it more often, you'll get used to it. I remember the first time a guy took me to a really expensive restaurant, I was pretty overwhelmed. If your date's used to that sort of thing, you can just be honest about asking for advice from him. Then you just get used to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:19 PM
73

Men are FULL OF SHIT when they tell you they have a "type." Their "type" is literally anyone who will fuck them. HVM won't follow through with this, but they're lying if they tell you they're not attracted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:11 PM
7

Have you called him on it? To me, the difference is like, does this person want to make the change for themselves. Is he leeching off your confidence to fill in his own emptiness? Or does he recognize this is an issue and is searching for the answer himself?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:04 PM
35

Everything I want to say has already been said in this thread. But like, how is there just an entire generation of men who are allergic to responsibility?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 05:56 PM
22

We've been brainwashed to assume it's our duty to ensure everyone else's emotional comfort. It's not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 12:09 PM
23

Oh god I needed this literally right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 12:51 AM
30

If anyone from a dating app asked me to use anything besides texting, we're on different pages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 12:46 AM
94

WHO DOES SHIT LIKE THIS WORK ON
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 12:02 AM
95

The presumption. The arrogance. THE AUDACITY.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 09:44 PM
101

Can we use toxic femininity to refer to how women pressure other women to conform to patriarchal sex positivity and/or "good wife"-ism?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 06:54 PM
19

I've gotten to the point where I have no problem losing my everloving shit at taxi drivers for this. Sad that it's a skill I had to learn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 02:28 PM
170

I hope he has to pay for a lot of coffee and never gets laid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 02:13 PM
39

You mean guys who like, overtly come on to you? I'm generally not like this, but occasionally a guy's explicit flirting will get to me. Just keep in mind he's prob like this with ALL women and is just looking to bait someone, then when you actually catch feelings, they're like, oops sry it's just hOw I Am.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 11:04 PM
9

A close, long time friend of mine has not been diagnosed with BPD (because she won't see a professional), but she's been exhibiting MANY of the symptoms, and one thing is definitely that she's currently obsessed with male validation. Off topic reply, but I hadn't read this before, so good to know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 03:33 AM
19

Maybe you were feeling self conscious and people picked up on it. I wouldn't sweat it. Sometimes people just have an off night. I have not had a rhinoplasty but from what I've read, people can fixate on it and convince themselves it's a massive change when it actually looks fine. This is just one incident out of a lifetime of interactions. Try to focus on internal validation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 03:05 AM
57

I also wanna add that Friends was terrible on sex/relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 12:57 AM
13

Ohh. Carrie Bradshaw's a good one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 12:56 AM
23

Oh man knowing how to use a bicycle? 9edgy11me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 11:15 PM
82

Yeah, it's baffling. Recently, a male acquaintance I've been getting closer to told me that he doesn't want to date me due to our social circle and hopes that I "wasn't disappointed." Like, I had never brought up dating? Dude's under employed, gaming addict, not fit. Don't worry about it, sweaty. I'm Gucci. The audacity tho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:26 PM
2

Not a sport, but I used to be a competitive player in a certain game. Only the LVM would be offended by it in any way. "God you got so lucky/I got so unlucky/blah blah."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:16 PM
78

The hard part for me is when they """WANT""" to make a change for the better. I try to be SOO FUCKING SUPPORTIVE and put in the emotional labor to contribute to that. But tbh if they really wanted it, they'd do it. They're grown ass men. They live their lives how they choose. They can claim to want to get it together, but if they're not figuring it out themselves, it'll never stick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 09:18 PM
11

I was a boy-crazy kid, like since elementary school. I'd tell myself that none of it was ever worth setting my career back. All the years I put relationships before my job/hobbies was an absolute waste.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 05:24 PM
14

Since q-tine, I've been getting hollered at by men WHO ARE AT WORK. Like, FedEx drivers, city construction workers, etc. Before q-tine, I'd get catcalled by random dudes, but not while men were literally on the job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 05:22 PM
9

To me, this would signal that the dude doesn't have any sort of plan and not willing to make sacrifices for the sake of long term satisfaction. Like, no one's job is perfect, but we gotta suck it up to have some sort of professional fulfillment, which is incredibly important for mental health, probably more so for men than women. If he were like 23, then maybe I'd give it a pass, but 27 is getting too old for this shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 05:20 PM
4

I'm honestly not sure if this is better or worse than the dudes that msg just to scream at you loooool
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 05:10 PM
23

Directly address your codependency issues. It won't get better until you solve the source of the problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 03:40 PM
13

Hear, hear. Specifically w/ instant grat: Do they game in all of their free time? Are they concerned (but not obsessively so) with nutrition/fitness? Are they constantly scrolling through/posting on socials? Are they addicted to dating apps? Are they driven by sticking their dick in anything that moves? Do they care more about approval from bros than bosses/family/etc.? Do they work shitty jobs and get their social satisfaction from something less meaningful? Some of this is obviously fine in ba…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 02:42 PM
16

You tried it. It didn't work. What makes you think it'd work now? There are a bajillion men. You'll find others attractive, I promise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 02:31 PM
18

I've done a lot of work in Asia and have met plenty of these guys. I feel bad for the women they prey upon tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 02:28 PM
5

Man I love it when they try to slip into my DMs. Instablock.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 02:20 PM
1

I believe this. I don't know if I believe someone actually said this, but I know plenty of LVMs who will choose an emotionally unstable woman over a HVW and regret it later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 02:18 PM
5

I want everyone who skimmed over this (bc let's be real, tldr) to know that feeling you feel right now. Every time you want to sent the really long msg to a guy for cLoSuRe, that's the exact feeling he feels. Don't do it. It's exhausting for everyone. You put all that effort in and he just rolls his eyes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 02:17 PM
10

You seem like you're making decisions that work for you. For me, sleeping with someone new is inherently tied to emotions, so I cannot do it until I really trust someone and know they're in love with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 02:00 PM
23

You know what an appropriate male/female relationship looks like, right? Is this that? I have had male friends who are MUCH older than me that I've met through hobbies and these men never crossed any lines, would never put me before their partners, we only talked about our common interests, only talk occasionally, etc. It would be inappropriate for them to allow our friendship to make their partners uncomfortable. Were they close before or do you think she's trying to cause problems?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 01:49 PM
18

Yeah, it's hard to move on when there's this empty space. Think of the things that trigger you wanting to reach out/think about him. Try filling that space with another stimulus that excites you, maybe a project or a book you really like. Good luck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 11:39 PM
19

But... MAP is a legit sexuality... /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 08:36 PM
66

God I fucking hate it when men do this and think they're being cute. It wouldn't be so fucking triggering if most women haven't been in abusive relationships where we've been actually gaslighted. But we have so fuck this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 08:28 PM
21

So I'm someone who needs a lot of alone time, so I generally just explain that to someone I'm dating. Like, it's good that he's saying something about it instead of just ignoring you or scolding you for bothering him. A LVM makes you feel like you're annoying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 08:17 PM
5

Love this song.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 07:55 PM
14

Omfg? Are you in my head? This is literally happening in my life as we speak. So glad to have FDS to keep my head straight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 03:33 AM
21

How old was this guy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 10:05 PM
9

When I was in my 20s I never wanted to date younger men, but now in my 30s I've realized that men older than me just sort of see women as a vessel to overlay their own needs/desires/fantasies on. Now I exclusively date men in their mid-late 20s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 08:15 PM
2

Ah, yes, been there. The combo of break up + get 100 texts that range from "I hate you you fucking bitch" to "I miss you so much take me back" in 24hrs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 08:11 PM
5

I'm the same way. Focus on your own emotions and meta-cognitive strategies to reduce the anxiety. Getting this other person's attention is not the root cause of the problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 08:03 PM
12

Fauxgressive is now my favorite word.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 02:13 PM
12

As yes, Reddit's darling. Sell your soul for an army of incels. Well played.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 02:09 PM
21

You sound like me in college. I participated in a male dominated hobby and hated the attention so much I would just wear sweatpants/baggy shirts/etc. I wouldn't be friendly or talkative. Basically, anything to hide my femaleness. I still want to be left alone overall, but I've found my own voice now. So now I'm still friends with the same community of men, but I now dress and act how I feel comfortable. If any of them give me unwanted attention, I feel a lot more comfortable shutting that shit d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 02:06 PM
116

If you're self esteem is so low you don't trust women to be into you, get your shit out of the dating pool and work on your damn self.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 01:59 PM
6

A ton. The reality of dating and dealing with another human's 3-dimensional emotions hit me like a ton of bricks in my teens/early 20s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 12:57 AM
18

Oh so they go dutch in the Netherlands. Huh. 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 11:47 PM
33

I have not had great experiences white guys (sry y'all). To me, they generally come off as very self-centered. It's like their perspective is how can I please them, what can I do for them, etc. I think my upbringing/culture makes a little more sensitive to these things bc I'm sort of a people pleaser then end up feeling resentful bc they ask too much. TLDR: nah bruh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 09:54 PM
12

I'm half Asian half Hispanic. My absolute fucking fave is when dudes msg me to compliment my "tan." lmao bro.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 09:51 PM
8

It might be a good time to look into online classes into what you'd wanna do. See if there are online certificate or degree programs. Then maybe you can figure out if it's something you'd be serious about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 09:45 PM
8

I'm actually from Texas as well. I have TRIED dating non-southern men and I struggle tbh. Even guys from other parts of the US.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 09:42 PM
19

In most of the world, people don't even "date" the way we think of dating. In many countries, it's pretty normal to meet a guy through friends/family/work, but we sort of treat dating like a hobby here. And hook up culture isn't nearly as prominent. So this dating multiple men thing is just less relevant to some people, just as an example.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 09:40 PM
11

Yeah, this is why I asked. I've lived in East Asia and the Middle East and traveled extensively throughout Europe and there are so many differences. FDS fits with my cultural norms as a US southern woman but my northern friends would feel creeped out by letting a dude pay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 09:38 PM
19

Worse tho. FWBs are usually just concerned w getting themselves off and if you get off too it's like a happy accident. Vibes are more reliable for orgasms, imo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 12:44 PM
214

If you don't have/want to spend the money, don't go on 4-5 dates a week?? To men, it's a numbers game, just meet as many women as possible and see who hops on your dick. There should be a subreddit that encourages men to be selective and invest also. fUn MoDe tho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 12:40 PM
19

Right, I'd say a European "coffee shop date" is more like an American lunch date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 12:39 PM
116

No, they don't actually like women. Ideally, they'd date men with vaginas. They don't care about understanding female communication styles, interests, needs, etc. bc we're all socialized to value/respect maleness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 05:15 PM
32

I've started planting this seed in the heads of my male friends. It's STARTING to sink it I think. I've had several male friends mention that they're starting to deescalate their porn use. Though they haven't eliminated it entirely, it's a step in the right direction. I think the idea that porn is fine has just not been challenged aside from calling it sinful, which is just not going to change people's minds. Approaching it as a human rights issue seems to be more effective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 05:13 PM
13

Also, if y'all haven't heard per podcast Noble Blood, shit's fire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 11:15 PM
8

They want to be that - they don't want it from you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 11:14 PM
21

Even if they don't think of themselves as 10s, they think they deserve 10s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 07:50 PM
146

I had a lot of guy friends in college bc of mutual interests and the one thing I learned was that any modicum of kindness or sociability is read as FlIrTInG. I think this says more about how men treat each other than how women treat men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 01:23 PM
27

We don't "sustain the relationship." We maintain ourselves and the relationship follows. This includes personal growth things, but also having a healthy mental/emotional space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 01:17 PM
30

I've never understood this. Like, it's not a charity down there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 11:20 AM
29

Jordan Peterson is a dumb person's idea of a smart person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 02:24 AM
8

Traditionally "male" communication style is typically antagonistic, which can have a time and place, e.g. classroom debates, boardrooms, etc. When they bring that shit into dating, it shows low EQ.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 02:22 AM
14

It's circle jerks all the way to the top.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 11:59 PM
26

I do not offer. In my culture, it would be rude to assume, as the woman, you are expected to pay for dates. (lolol like my personal internal culture)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 09:43 PM
37

Yeah, I went out with a couple frat guys in college too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 09:24 PM
57

I'm in academia and work with college-aged young people. I'm in my mid 30s. To me, these legal adults look like they're in their teens. To say that you can't tell someone is too young when they're literally underage is horseshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 09:21 PM
20

AMP UP THIS ENERGY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 09:16 PM
13

I choose to believe this is satire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 07:56 PM
11

It honestly sounds like he has some of his own insecurity issues he's working through and has ""slipped"" and taken them out on you. I don't think these are the reddest flags, but has he ever tried therapy or anything to get his shit right? It sounds like he needs some of his own leveling up. Not to say you should take on the burden of suggesting it or anything. I'd proceed cautiously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 12:17 PM
12

21yo. Hopeless. How does this keep happening? It's like there's an entirely lost generation of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 11:15 AM
59

The other day a male friend of mine asked me an easily googlable question. Normally, I would google it and tell him the answer. But I've gotten to the point where I was like, yknow, I don't know I'm sure you can look it up. Small, but progress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 11:10 AM
5

Well, we live in different cities, so it won't be so bad. I'm mostly just depleting the online communication. Also, covid so it's not like I'm hanging out with people anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 11:02 AM
10

I'm going through something similar. I made the decision today to just distance myself from this person. We have to same friend group, but aside from group things, I won't be engaging with this person. Good luck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 03:45 AM
44

You're not wrong. OLD feels like homework.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:34 PM
1

Find your personal validation outside of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:31 PM
90

Low enough to post completely fabricated pics of her already worked over face on IG.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:27 PM
177

So, yes gross initial comment because he's demanding you do something sexualized and only cares about what's in it for him. But TBH what I find grosser is the deflection. Why do men lack the maturity to be like, "sorry that was inappropriate."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:26 PM
43

This 👏 is 👏 why 👏 we 👏 don't 👏 date 👏 men 👏 with 👏 poor 👏 impulse 👏 control 👏 and 👏 emotional 👏 processing 👏 skills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:03 PM
21

Yeah sure, men totally want equality for women. Good to know. ​ Also, I wouldn't even fw any of these rate me subs. Just gives men power to add to/subtract from your own sense of self worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 04:59 PM
4

It's the "not like other girls thing" and also focusing on your looks in the first paragraph. If it were just the joke about mutual appreciation, that would actually play really well for me. If he had just foregone putting down other women, that would also be great. It's like... so close, but this ain't it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 03:13 PM
3

I also only recently found this sub and am in my 30s. I completely agree with you tho. I like it here because it succinctly describes a lot of the phenomena I've discovered by myself. I wish I had just had these resources sooner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 03:10 PM
60

Random thought but: any dude that says "link" I've found to be complete trash. It's like they say "link" bc it indicates that they want to see you, but so vague that it doesn't define what the meeting will be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 03:06 PM
44

Nice to know they've never been here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 02:55 PM
13

I've dated a couple shitty Andrews.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 12:21 AM
2

Gotta say sis, defending this like you're doing in these comments is LV behavior. You're officially doing it to yourself. Take control of the situation and block him and delete all of his contact info. No reason to go back. There's nothing for you there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 07:17 PM
26

This guy I was dating once asked if I should be waxing my sideburns? Like I don't have thick hair in that area at all. Such a weird neg. He also told me that I "can't possibly work out that much" when I told him I was heading to a tae kwon do class after going to the gym.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 07:13 PM
2

Between living abroad and grad school, I spend A LOT of time alone. It was a hard adjustment bc I was a social person during my early/mid 20s. I'm happier now though bc I really love what I do for a living. It's also exhausting so after a day of work, I am perfectly fine just watching Hulu or reading. Maybe find a volunteer organization or figure out a job where you can contribute to a cause you care about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 05:17 PM
179

I was working at a coffee shop today (sat outside/socially distanced/etc), but these old dudes sat at a table near me and one just like, kept "looking around" and was obviously staring down my dress. They're not nearly as sneaky as they think they are. Age doesn't matter. LV is as LV does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 05:11 PM
41

As yes, the deflection apology. "I guess she deserves to feel entitled to some help here and there." Run sis. It doesn't get better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 12:59 PM
3

Ok, remind yourself that he doesn't give a shit. You're putting energy into something that YOU GET NOTHING OUT OF. He's not listening to you anyway. In fact, I assure you it makes him respect you less. He's going to think you're annoying/crazy. (You're not, it's LVM logic.) Save yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 12:41 PM
10

Yeah, they also get their moms to call professors like it's fucking kindergarten. Kills me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 12:39 PM
120

Gotta say, I love not shaving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 12:39 AM
31

Smart money says that American women don't date either of these men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 12:33 AM
12

Between teen movies and Disney, no wonder we're so fucked up w/r/t the conceptualization of relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 12:27 AM
34

It's bothering you bc this shit just sows the seeds of self-doubt. Remind yourself that it's his loss. We don't chase men because we have better things to do than convince someone of our worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 12:24 AM
113

I work internationally a lot and have met a ton of these guys. Like woman would be lucky to carve time out of her day to take on a language student essentially and also be his bangmaid. The delusion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 11:12 PM
3

Maybe you're experience will be different from mine, but I'm just letting you know what's possible. I'm 33/own my home/am in academia/financially stable/blah blah. My mom is Filipina and she's only JUST stopped asking me when I'll find a rich man, but it's taken work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 11:45 AM
66

This is controlling and gaslighting. I can understand doing what he needs to do to, but to tell you how/what/why you're feeling what you're feeling is incredibly presumptuous and condescending.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 11:42 AM
4

I truly hope you have the strength to deal with this for the rest of your single life because it will never end until/unless you keep hammering that message home. Good luck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 02:17 AM
23

I hope you're done with him. He sounds like trash. But seriously what is with guys like this?? Is it just a compulsion to control someone? It's just a behavior pattern I cannot empathize with to save my life. I've done some LV shit in my day, but why fuck with another human being to this extent? It seems exhausting for everyone involved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 01:43 AM
72

I should have been a divorce lawyer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 08:42 PM
18

Wow this is so good. I do this with shopping now, but never applied it to men. When I was younger, I would go shopping and just like, browse, buy stuff if it was cheap but cute enough, or just fit, not fit well, etc. Now when I go shopping I curate exactly the sort of things I'm looking for. I put thought into my closet, want pieces that I'll actually wear and are of high quality. I just NEVER thought of applying this mindset to dating, but thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 07:24 PM
19

Ok has this happened to anyone else. I feel it's been common, but maybe it's me. Like, dude wants to fuck in front of a mirror, but it has nothing to do with wanting to see you, they just wanna see how like, porn-starry they are? Being a straight man is truly embarrassing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 06:51 PM
26

Yeah I love how women describe ideal sex exactly how you did but men who think they're "good at sex" are like, violent, dominating, aggressive, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 06:40 PM
62

r/iamsmart
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 11:10 PM
29

The thing that bothers me most is the random caps? Like why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 10:38 PM
38

Have you asked him why he does this despite the circumstances?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 10:35 PM
79

I completely agree. When I was a kid, FeMinIsM was like rah rah hot pink Spice Girls girl power. It was absurd.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 09:17 PM
15

I'm thankful that in 2020 the concept of emotional labor has been articulated to women. Men have had this mentality that "love and caring" = work and we're just getting woken up to it. #staywoke
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 09:14 PM
20

YOU'RE A FUCKING ADULT AND YOU GOTTA GET IT TOGETHER YOU'RE A DICK AND YOU'RE MANIPULATIVE AS FUCK I swear to god this sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 05:40 PM
2

I love how concise you are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 05:35 PM
27

God right?? When I try to explain this to my male friends they think I'm crazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 05:22 PM
29

Imagine being married to someone where you're so afraid to express your feelings about something that you do so as obsequiously as possible. Imagine living every day of your life like this for years. Imagine not trusting your fucking husband enough to be an grown adult and respect your opinion on something. Just imagine that for a sec.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 05:08 PM
14

Dick is in abundance. He has to impress you. Just focus on your shit. Also look into cognitive behavioral therapy to silence the bad voices in your head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:37 PM
26

Yeah, it's a massive turn off when a dude gets visibly upset at other drivers. Signals poor emotional control and lack of coping mechanisms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 01:55 PM
23

When their listed interests are hiking, traveling and trying new restaurants. I work abroad a lot and when I see a dude give the number of countries he's visited it's so cringey. Like bruh, this isn't a personality trait.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 12:40 PM
12

Then I would say to not do any of the chasing. To me it would be too easy to develop a crush/infatuation. If you're talking to him to get more out of it than only talking, the risk is too high.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 12:30 PM
9

Don't contact him if you're only doing it because you want it to develop into something more or if you think it might lead to a crush. If you can handle JUST being friends with this person and you think he could help with your poetry and add to your life platonically, I don't see why not. But you're walking a tightrope so tread cautiously. Or even, wait until you're seeing someone else, e.g. on dating apps, then talk to him so you're not focusing all your energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 12:19 PM
39

I love when pickmes wear "I never turn down sex" like a badge of honor. Weird flex but ok.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 01:22 AM
26

Gosh I mean why do we even need FDS when the world is full of winners? I'm so happy for her!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 01:20 AM
14

Honestly the apostrophe in Riveras' is wrong and it makes me hate her even more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 11:44 PM
4

GETTING A FUCKING BOX SPRING FOR HIS PATHETIC FLOOR MATTRESS ​ jfc I can't even y'all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 05:22 PM
4

God I threw up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 05:20 PM
85

Yeah, I did it for a couple of days after my recent break up, but it was the exact same thing. I talked to one guy who was witty in his profile and a little bit at the beginning of the convo, but then it was like, man if you're ALREADY boring after two days of chatting, this is not going anywhere. Why are even do it if they're the conversational equivalent of boiled potatoes but then ALSO bitch about how gIrLs WoN't DaTe tHeM???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 05:16 PM
8

Ah yes I just left some OLD dude who did this on read. Is it that they don't wanna just come out and say it? Like what's the game here?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 05:00 PM
8

So at least you made it out of this one alive. The red flag was when he started getting too "friendly" despite him having a gf. That's where you should have cut contact. But it definitely could have been worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:07 PM
15

The fatherfucking audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:56 AM
38

Oh certainly, that was just a quip about the gender disparity. The scrotocracy is global.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 12:57 AM
8

Maybe he can feel you pulling away and is making a last ditch effort. I think the balls in your court here. To me, this would come off as a little dramatic and naive? Like he's trying to wrangle you in even tho he's an ocean away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 12:47 AM
23

I literally squealed. It's like he thinks he's trying to incept you or something? But has the EQ of a banana.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 12:42 AM
29

If you're seeing other people, why are you afraid of losing him? Maybe y'all still talk, maybe it fizzles. I don't see any reason you need to be stressed about this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 12:35 AM
8

Appreciation for delayed gratification/minimal elements of instant gratification in his life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 11:10 PM
174

Lots of western men will tell you something like "hey babe it's just in our nature to want to hook up with as many women as possible." That's a lie. In societies where men outnumber women, men want commitment. I'm not suggesting we all just move to China, but I'm so fucking sick of this line where we're supposed to just accept men's bIoLoGicAl nEeD to just fuck everything that moves. It's a lie. Don't buy into it or the lib fem logic that tells you you need to "date like a man" or whatever bulls…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 11:00 PM
21

I used to be a pro-hook up lib fem. I agree that the pro hook up media push piqued when I was in college/recent grad (I'm mid-30s now). I'm honestly pleasantly surprised that young women these days feel empowered enough to say no to sex. When I think about it, the more empowered I feel the less, but better sex I have. It took a long time to realize that I wasn't hooking up with guys because *I* wanted to but bc I felt this weird social pressure to be lIbErAtEd. It sort of tracks with the general…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:46 PM
6

"Hey, I'm super upset right now and just don't feel like talking, but I'll let you know when I'm ready." It's not that fucking hard. I'm definitely someone who needs some space/time to process things but I'm enough of an adult to understand that straight up ignoring someone might inflict pain so I c o m m u n i c a t e m y f u c k i n g f e e l i n g s. If they don't do so they're either completely ignorant of basic human emotion or they're actively trying to hurt you. Either way, big yikes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:27 PM
22

How does this sub always get me. I literally just had this convo w a long time acquaintance who I've been getting close to where he goes on about how he's not in a place for a relationship but he wants us to be super close bffs??? I never even said I wanted to date this guy. The absolute fucking audacity?????? ​ Oh and he wants me to drive across the country to visit because of fucking course he does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:22 PM
9

I had a therapist once tell me that there's good stress and bad stress. Good stress is what motivates us to engage in productive behaviors, e.g. focusing on a project at work, maintaining a healthy diet/exercise routine, getting really good at a hobby etc (note: motivation is good until it becomes too stressful then it's toxic). Bad stress is when we focus on things that worrying won't change, e.g. will he leave me? will my house burn down? will this car randomly hit me crossing the street? etc.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:20 PM
4

So I don't know what you should do, but my parents relationship is like yours. As a woman who grew up in a household where my mom is basically my dad's (who outsiders would consider HV) mother and maid. Witnessing how their relationship functions made me never want to be in anything similar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 09:50 PM
35

If you send this message, his response will be to roll his eyes and thank god he got out of a relationship with a condescending bitch. He never respected your opinion before. He won't now. (Not that I think you're a condescending bitch, but that's how he will rationalize it. You sis are a kween.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 07:36 PM
73

I've only been here for a few weeks but have seen so many posts about "why does this crush feel soooo obsessive." Well because our brains+socialization have programmed us like that. In mice studies, when mice press a lever and the food pellet comes randomly, it causes addictive behaviors, whereas when the food comes on a set schedule, mice just live normally. Think about your crush like this. You have no idea what he's thinking so any time he shows you attention/affection/blah blah, it's like a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 04:41 PM
9

New guy is giving you hits of dopamine, especially since it's unfamiliar and unknown. Our dopamine production goes into overdrive when the stimulus is random.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 04:32 PM
5

Second this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 04:31 PM
55

If a guy expects me to spend a lot of resources on being physically attractive to them, they can spend the resources to court me. I would love to show up to a date fat and hairy and split the bill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 03:38 PM
13

The idea is to not focus all of your energy on one man. Americans do like to "date" which is not common in other cultures. I think the problem is that, at least in my experiences, American men (and Aussies for that matter) are just culturally players more so than in any other country I've lived/worked/studied in. ​ Maybe my read on this is off so let me know if you disagree - but I've spent a lot of time in a lot of countries and it seems to me that in most places, men are more content with LTRs…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 01:35 PM
56

r/ihavesex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 02:42 AM
34

Let me guess, does he enjoy hiking, traveling and trying new restaurants?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 02:30 AM
3

If your standards "drive a man away," you're better off. It's honestly better to learn this lesson now than after dating for 20yrs like I have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 08:03 PM
8

He wants the attention/affection/sex and none of the responsibility. You can send him the text but it won't go anywhere. He will think you're annoying or crazy. Writing the text is more emotional labor for you and you will get nothing out of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 07:35 PM
17

I interpret the "fancy date" rule as more of a guideline for "is he planning something?" since so many guys are just like, "hey let's hang out in a way that I don't have to put any effort into bc I was going to get coffee and walk around the park anyway."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 07:33 PM
12

Learn positive self talk. When you talk to yourself imagine you're talking to the 8yo version of you. What would you say to her? "Well, sweetie, let's think about what we learned here." "You tried really hard but sometimes things just don't work out." "It's ok to be sad for a little while." "There's nothing wrong with you - you're so smart/funny/cute/whatever."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 07:25 PM
11

Just because you've known someone for a long time doesn't mean shit. If he's not adult enough treat you warmly despite the possibility of being rejected, that's not your problem. If he's not interested, also not your problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 07:21 PM
32

I literally just got out of a 2yr relationship where I had to teach a GROWN ASS 30yo MAN that you CANNOT apologize with a sorry+but. It still makes my blood BOIL to think that I was dating someone who was 13yo emotionally FOR SO LONG. WHERE ARE THEIR PARENTS?! WHERE ARE THEIR POSITIVE MALE ROLE MODELS?! WHERE IS THEIR FUCKING THERAPIST???? The bar is an EQ higher than a middle schooler. The bar is melting in the Earth's mantle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 05:47 PM
11

Ya hate to see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 04:11 PM
75

I still do this and I'm 33. But at this point, I've been in so many relationships I can tell that it's just temporary. I remind myself that this guy ain't shit and just give it a couple months and my brain chemistry will settle down back to normal. I make the analogy of an addict getting over an addiction - because really it is. So you just take every moment individually and be reflective on your actions. Do you actually want to watch his stupid show or do you have something else to do? Realisti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 01:08 PM
59

"You're so exotic." 🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 12:56 AM
7

I don't know if there's anything to say. My mom and dad are still together but she basically parents him. My entire childhood was all about how I need to be attractive enough to attract rich men, which OBVIOUSLY leads to eating disorders and putting my career back for guys. I'm 33 and am now financially stable but shit it just never fucking ends. I don't know if you'll ever get through to your mother. I don't even try tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:37 PM
6

So I'm like you in being pretty ambitious/dedicated/successful career-wise, but I have to say that I actually DO NOT like dating men who are at similar places professionally for the exact reasons you listed. I think you have to chose because men are so 1 dimensional. I personally prefer dating guys who are more laid back and funny, but probably earn less than I do, as long as they're willing to put in the relationship effort. So I'm happy compromising on what a guy does, but I won't settle for s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 07:14 PM
22

Unidirectional emotional relationships are parent/child. Not partners. Why even try to find a gf when you can just curl up next to mommy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 06:40 PM
13

"We are looking for partners, not projects. " Wow I really needed to hear this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 03:10 AM
6

Wow are you me. I tend to have a pretty strong personality/am in a competitive field so I'm generally assertive, but it DOES NOT translate into dating. I wish I found FDS earlier bc asking guys out is basically translates into begging to fuck them in their unreasonably inflated egos. My male friends tend to be like, "you're hot, I'm sure that guy would be into." I don't know why I've taken dating advice from other LVMs. I cannot anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 12:27 AM
5

I (33f) was dating a (not super close) friend (31M) I had known for over a decade, but we only started dating two years ago. I shouldn't have to teach an adult male to use his grown up words or that "I'm sorry but you.." is not an actual apology. Like, I get that he had some issues with his parents but they weren't anything out of the ordinary. We all have issues with our parents. I encouraged him to go to therapy, which he never did so there was just no growth. Any time I would express some fru…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 12:04 AM
40

I now apply FDS to my male friendships. It's helping. I didn't even realize the amount of emotional labor I would put in, e.g. social coordination, initiating catching up, playing therapist, blah blah. I mean, there's some of this is any friendship but when it's like 90% me, no thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 01:09 AM
4

I've def been applying FDS to my male friendships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 09:36 PM
4

Like esp bc she mentions that she puts in the effort also? Can they just not read?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 11:15 PM
6

Omg. I have a friend (from hs/college, we've been friends for 20yrs) who's going through something similar rn. Fortunately, she was a lawyer so she's been able to pay for some sort of shelter for now, and her parents also stepped in recently. They tried before but she was being so aggressive toward them there was only so much they could do. She's finally agreed to therapy, but do you have any advice on how to handle this situation? We've been going through this for only a year. Does it get bette…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 04:23 AM
1

I agree with you and appreciate the clarification.
/r/MensRights20/02/15 03:34 AM
1

Courts treat people who are "labeled as equals" differently all the time, for example, rich people vs. poor people or straights vs. gays in marriage, etc. To say that the court may treat women differently in certain situations and therefore, we should consider women unable to make decisions about alcohol or sex, I would certainly consider a logical fallacy. It's clearly a valid point that courts (and the public) do treat women offenders differently in rape cases and it shouldn't be the case and …
/r/MensRights20/02/15 01:31 AM
-5

I think a lot of what you just said uses the assumption that women are mentally weaker than men, which is simply not true. EDIT: Also, this argument is basically a slippery slope fallacy.
/r/MensRights19/02/15 09:53 PM
6

Physically weaker, I guess we could say that, but I think the bigger issue is how women are socialized to think that sex is something we need to "keep from" men. Don't get me wrong, rape is rape no matter what gender you are. However, if we lived in a society where men didn't feel pressured to have sex and women didn't feel so negatively about having sex, I think we'd see less rape overall. It's the social imbalance that's the bigger issue than any possible physical one.
/r/MensRights19/02/15 08:26 PM
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