Need support: just broke up with a guy full of green flags bc we have different visions for the future

super_thinker_ · 2020-12-24T04:10:16+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this. hugs

I just went through something similar and someone on FDS told me that some red flags for you might be green flags for others and some green flags for you might be green flags for others.

In the end, if it's a red flag for YOU that's all that matters.

I get pangs of regret thinking about him sometimes, but I'm actually catching red flags that I didn't catch before when I had my rose tinted glasses on! And now I'm really happy that I didn't settle.

Things will get better the more time and distance that you get from this guy. Believe me!

Mind-Objective · 2020-12-23T22:40:39+00:00

Different visions for the future and lifestyle is a red flag.

Finally met a man who is child free, has integrity, and overall, really into self improvement (like me!).

Problem: emotionally mature (I wasn’t at the time!), Age difference, he’s a homebody, and more established in his career/in himself.

My last ex was the complete opposite. Not much of an age difference, adventurous, more align progress wise (career).

Problem: Wants children, Lack of emotional maturity, misogynistic comments (wtf does he want children for???), insensitive, we can never go past the surface level stuff.

thighsmatch · 2020-12-25T06:46:23+00:00

Value alignment is key to building any lasting close relationship, not just romantic.

If your core values don’t align that isn’t so much a traditional red flag (as in bad behavior by a man) as it is something that will doom the relationship regardless of how good a person he is. If a man wants a lifestyle that would make him happy but make youd miserable you would be doing both of you a disservice by trying to force yourself into it. Eventually you’d resent him. I have been there; stayed too long with an otherwise good man who wanted different things. Growth is acknowledging that and letting him go. Good job!

Title	Need support: just broke up with a guy full of green flags bc we have different visions for the future
Author	eveninghope
Upvotes	89
Comments	5
Date	December 23, 2020 9:55 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	/r/askFDS
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/need-support-just-broke-up-with-a-guy-full-of.1059982 https://theredarchive.com/post/1059982
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/kj27z9/need_support_just_broke_up_with_a_guy_full_of/