I was going back and forth with a LVM. From day one he spoke about the ex constantly. I pieced together that he most likely cheated on her or attempted to do so and she dumped him. Every time he would mention her, he would get a sad look and drink straight from the rum bottle.

I cut him out of my life back in October and blocked him everywhere. He reached out to me via a google voice number 2 weeks ago and I decided to see him in person. We have a nice night and then two days later he reached out to me to tell me that he's feeling suicidal about his ex because he tried to reach out to her and she rejected him.

I ended things with him right away. I dropped off his clothes at his place and blocked him everywhere again. This was not without a fight via text where he concluded that he really liked me but I was obviously insecure and jealous of his ex. He has her nudes and videos of her on top of him on his phone that he used to gleefully show me.

It's done now but I feel disgusted in myself. I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for years. I knew he was in love with another woman from the very moment we hung out but I didn't want to believe it because the truth hurt. So I danced around hoping he would see me and never did.

He only came around via google voice for my kindness and a hook up.

Are men really this dark? I refuse to believe it when I see it because that's hurtful for me to admit (he's not into me) but then inevitably the truth came out again and I HAD to end it. I just always feel like I am to blame for this nasty behavior from men.

Can someone please help me straighten out my thoughts? Even though I know it's great that I am away from him, I still feel a pit in my heart and stomach when I think about him lusting over another woman. It makes me feel unwanted.