I called him out

Pearlet2 · 2019-09-12T04:53:28+00:00

[deleted]

RussianAsshole · 2019-09-12T05:10:00+00:00

First of all, I'm fucking proud of you for standing up to him.

Second, please read this. Do not forget that the most powerful tool you can use against a man is laughter. They don't see an issue with gaslighting us and trying to play us for fools, so laugh when you are in presence of a fool.

"Since then I've started using the same technique with my current boyfriend. On occasion he says something insensitive or annoying, and when I get mad, he says "I WaS jUsT tEaSiNg, CaNt yOu TaKe A jOkE". When he made a rude comment the other day, I didn't hesitate to hit below the belt: "wow, it's like you're literally unaware that you're nowhere near as clever as you think you are!" and cackled maniacally. Since he's insecure about his intelligence, he was extremely offended."

AverageToHot · 2019-09-12T05:52:59+00:00

Read The Rules. One of the rules is that once you break up with someone, it’s over forever. You don’t ever go back to them because clearly something wasn’t working out. Don’t tolerate on and off relationships. It’s either on or it’s off forever.

Also, staying with someone who gaslights you is a sign of low self-esteem. Love yourself better and choose a better partner. Don’t get addicted to the thrill being emotionally abused provides you.

Dani_Till_Now · 2019-09-12T17:07:47+00:00

Look. You may feel like you've done something good in dropping to his level, and your heart was in the right place, but your execution leads to ugly things.

You're thinking very very short term. What will come from you snapping and calling him names and him constantly making you feel invalidated? He doesn't respect you more, that is indeed totally sugarcoating the situation. He won't change because you called him this, and next time you'll have to say it again, or something more colorful, and eventuality he'd get used to that name calling and it wouldn't have an effect. A few years down the road with this coping skill, it will be ugly below the belt fights, disconnection, unhappiness. Neither of you are using skills that would actually serve you well in a relationship. You should take a look at the Gottman Institute, and the book 'What Makes Love Last', which has more research than theory and can be hugely beneficial. It would be helpful to learn what healthy looks like and aim for that than falling into petty games with each other that lead ultimately to misery.

informationseeker8 · 2019-09-12T21:39:03+00:00

I spent ten years to be single N struggling w two children and lost the ages 23-33. I’m left w little to no self esteem or worth. It’s NOT worth the cycle. You don’t miss HIM you miss the chaos or the him you WISH he was. Go find someone who doesn’t gaslight.

TheOGJammies · 2019-09-12T04:22:08+00:00

I’m confused, did he break things off with you because you stood up for yourself?

Title	I called him out
Author	Pearlet2
Upvotes	13
Comments	13
Date	September 12, 2019 3:31 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/d3231x/i_called_him_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-called-him-out.690608 https://theredarchive.com/post/690608

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