I was a later bloomer I didn't lose my virginity till I was 22 due to religious reasons. When I did start to date I was alway loyal, I would find 1 person I connected with and drop everyone else.

I met my boyfriend and I lost my v card. The sex was terrible. Horrible. Never good. Yet i felt bad I thought it was my fault because I lacked sexual experience, so I didn't say anything. We dated for 3 years. 3 years of bad sex and no orgasm. By the end of it all I really thought I was asexual.

Again after the break up I went back to dating and did the loyal thing. Find 1 guy I liked and invest my time with and like always within a few days/weeks it would all fall apart. This happened a couple of times.

So finally I said fuck it. I'll date for fun with no feelings involved. So far so good. Every date I've been on the man paid. I go on a date twice a week with different men for fun it's my activity now.

Out of all the dates two men stood out to me. One is J who is relationship material and the other A who I just have a sexual relationship with.

J would be a great boyfriend but I'm playing it cool and I don't plan on sleeping with even if we become exclusive. J is age appropriate and established. We also share the same morals and I feel like we could potentially have a great relationship.

A is a really attractive young man (4yrs younger than me) and extremely kind. I have never been interested in a relationship with him but he is a generous lover and has made me cum multiple times. I feel bad as he did ask to be his gf and I had to turn him down.

I plan to keep sleeping with A till I get a exclusive 6+ month relationship with J and no I will not have sex with J turning that period

If it doesn't work out i havent lost anything and I have A to entertain me

Ladies never ever put all your eggs in one basket and technically I'm single I can do as I please and it's none of J's business