I have arrived at an epiphany -- well I have been reading this book "Be honest--you're not that into him either" by Ian Kerner and ladies, here we go!

We have been reccommended (almost indoctrinated) that the hot, good-looking guys are never gonna commit, that they are gonna cheat.

So what do we do? We drop our standards, we date the plain looking guy, we were not even into him during the first date but we decided to "give him a chance nevertheless". And slowly but surely we realize, huh, he has a cute smile or really kind eyes or may be he is good in bed! And boom, we have taught ourselves to fall for them.

However!! Guys are much pickier about looks and never really get past the physical because "they are visual creatures". And once we have fallen for them, they pull the rug from underneath us, they disappear (for variety of reasons -- may be they noted our misgivings or they just wanted to get laid or they are grown, immature men etc).

So then, what we do the next time? We lower our standards EVEN further. Because as our ego is hurt like never before, we tell ourselves if the guy I was NOT even into left, I really must be a loser, right?!

WRONG!

NO ladies, your ONLY mistake was to lower your standards!! Let's stop this cycle -- let's start TRUSTING OUR INSTICTS -- you know the best! If you are NOT into someone after the first date, have enough confidence to bow out and send him his way!

NEVER LOWER YOUR STANDARDS for anyone (until they give you solid reason to-- don't given anyone the "benefit of doubt")

If you like him to give him another chance but when the investment/feelings are not reciprocated -- et the hell out, remember to ALWAYS BE CUTTING YOUR LOSSES.

(PS. learnt it the hard way!)

Have you recently faced this?? Let's vent!