Let's leave dating apps behind this month : who's with me!

BasieSkanks · 2022-02-16T19:32:02+00:00

A reminder that FDS is not against OLD. OLD requires more vetting, but we have never said that women shouldn’t use it. People will have their own personal preferences, but it’s not something we are explicitly against.

spaceyAsh · 2022-02-16T15:05:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Far_from_deceived · 2022-02-16T15:08:12+00:00

GIRlL, i Will give this post my poor 🥇

I identify a lot with your story. Since my last relationship (5 yeats ago) I have met some men and nothing never works out. They are exactly what you mentioned: catfishers, losers, looking for bangmaids etc etc.

And exactly, I met them on OLD! It’s been more than a year since I left and I have no intention to go back. It was a riddance not to use that shit anymore. Believe me, HVM are not on dating apps!!!!!!!! And men don’t want relationships on dating apps!!!! “bUt mY fRiEnd meT heR bOyFrIend on TindEr”. He is probably a cheater, or maybe a diamond she found in the trash can, but usually men who are on OLD continue to use OLD.

I will never go back to that dumpster fire. HVW do not advertise themselves on free prostitute app, like dating apps!!!!

Please, let’s not waste our times with those losers. I also have been at home working, I moved country city, jobs and it’s been really hard to meet men and have a social circle, but OLD is not an option for me. I prefer staring at men in the subway to flirt instead of using dating apps.

Men do not see women they meet on OLD as humans beings. I can assure that. I have so many qualities, I know the strong and intelligent woman that I am and I am not going to give those losers access to me and make me feel like a free prostitute like they made me feel when I used dating apps.

** don’t use OLD**

solstice100 · 2022-02-16T15:41:16+00:00

I have never met a decent man from a dating app.

Femvegarmymashup · 2022-02-16T14:57:44+00:00

I ditched the apps 2 years ago and only then was I able to truly focus on me. Now in my first year of graduate school! :) Don’t look back sis!

keep_my_stuff · 2022-02-16T18:18:42+00:00

I used to think 'how come I meet all these low effort guys looking for hookups on OLD, my male friends are not like that'. This was because the OLD guys were just more blatant. Ever since FDS and making conscious effort to see reality like it is, I've realized that... my male "friends" are not much better. They are also trolling the dating apps like a game, just to cure themselves from the lack of sex. That's it, that's the intention. They don't meet women in the bars or at work, so they resort to playing the numbers game in the OLD stream.

The motivation is not "I'd like to share my life with somebody" but "It's been a while since I've had sex, maybe if I make a profile showing my abs I will get somebody to break the dry spell". They also want to impress women with their money or whatever through their profile, when they don't intend to spend more than a drink at best on them.

One of my exes was also on dating apps. He didn't have his life together at all, was regularly unable to cope with reality, but playing the dating app odds seemed like a good idea, just in case he could charm some girl who didn't know him.

So yeah, if you look around at your male peers and see subpar behavior, *those* are the people on dating apps.

Christleey · 2022-02-16T19:09:03+00:00

Every single man I met on OLD was trash. It’s a cesspool of all the losers that nobody wants. No matter how handsome they are there is always something wrong that makes the women around them not want them and that’s exactly why they’re there. Either ED, broke, recently broken up, socially awkward or just something. No good man is on a dating app and there’s no exception to this. Also if you settle with one they do not delete their profiles after, they just delete the app and lie. These men are addicted to the app and not the women. My friends used to swipe right without looking at pics or reading the bio. They just wanted to get laid and thought if they swiped right on 100 in a day at least 3 would reply. So don’t be flattered if you match with these losers. Also stay away from pilots and military men.

I_know_right_AS_IF · 2022-02-16T16:50:44+00:00

OLD has been depressing tbh. I uninstalled months ago because wading through the crap was awful. And then when I would match with someone, they just wouldn't respond???

The one guy that responded to me turned the conversation sexual when I asked his favorite comfort food (we had been talking about food). Told me his comfort food was eating a woman out (in more vulgar terms). I actually made a post here about that but it was removed for being low effort lol! Just like the scrote 😂

It's just not worth it! There is nothing out there on OLD worth pursuing!

queenservingfacts · 2022-02-16T15:39:12+00:00

I’m 1000% with you in this! Deleted mine over a year ago and haven’t missed them one bit! I wonder what men would do if women collectively boycotted dating apps and casual sex - I suspect this would be one hell of a motivator for men to get their shit together.

juliana_san · 2022-02-16T19:22:00+00:00

I would love for you to start a thread on meeting people.

As much as I love roasting scrotes all day long on here I would like to see more strategy and sharing stories.

I’m recently single so I am giving myself some time to heal and level up before reentering the dating world, but it was a lonnngggg relationship and FDS didn’t exist when I got into it.

So I’m hoping for some solid strats on here ☺️

Healingirl · 2022-02-16T19:29:46+00:00

Honestly, I don't know. I never had a relationship out of dating apps BUT I've met more decent men on dating apps than IRL. I think that at the end of the day both are the same... but because the probability of meeting someone is higher with dating apps than IRL, since you scroll through multiple profiles, the probability of meeting scrotes and NVM is also higher as is the one of meeting a decent man.

I can guarantee you that it'll take you longer to meet someone IRL and they likely won't be HV; the danger is to think they are because well you met organically...

IchBinPlatzEinsJa · 2022-02-16T16:05:58+00:00

I deleted my profiles and apps last autumn. All it was was a waste of time, effort, energy and money, and in fact it took a lot out of me.

This for all the reasons you stated. Most of the profiles were no effort trash and any matches were men lying about looking for relationships, just looking for validation, or outright trying to order up free sex with free delivery!

So many used old pictures, would get mad when asking for a video call prior to meeting, would stop responding, didn’t like questions that come naturally in getting to know someone conversations, used only initials or strange words for their names (Human, Mr Delightful, Scrotey McScroterson).

Glad to have purged that toxic landfill like HAZMAT.

2022-02-16T14:38:49+00:00

I support you 100%. Do NOT use any apps.

I have heard from too many male acquaintances that they would NEVER take a girl seriously if they met her on an app, no matter how high quality the girl was.

They instantly see you as low value and desperate - but not themselves.

Instead, work on expanding your friend and work circle to meet new men through that.

This way, you’ll at least be able to pre-vet someone and their history.

dating-adventures · 2022-02-16T16:32:06+00:00

“NO HVM is on dating apps looking for a wife.” Truer words have never been spoken.

2022-02-16T17:55:43+00:00

Already did two years ago and I won't go back. 🙌🏻

girl_NO_ · 2022-02-16T18:36:28+00:00

Males lie sooooo much more about height, age, weight, income, etc more than women ever do. It's insane.

Carneliancat · 2022-02-16T17:48:56+00:00

Losers, users, Pigpens*, psychos and hobos. That's what's on OLD. A veritable shit buffet! Don't ever be so hungry that a shit buffet looks good to you.

*Pigpen, the little boy in the Charlie Brown cartoons who didn't wash and always arrived in a cloud of dirt.

Flat_Menu_7064 · 2022-02-16T18:01:33+00:00

I deleted my accounts a month ago and it feels so nice to not be in the toxicity. I realize most men on dating apps are just looking for hookups so what’s the point? I rather meet someone from a friend or in real life.

candyfox84 · 2022-02-16T16:27:57+00:00

"NO HVM is on dating apps looking for a wife."

I agree with this. He might fall for you and even like you a whole lot, but so much of men's reaction to women is based on the initial contact and I think that presents a catch 22 with apps. He has easy access to you. He didn't fantasize for months on end about taking you out, working up the courage to ask you on a date, plot what you would enjoy through weeks of sublty getting to know you, and experience the absolute thrill of finally taking you out feeling like he caught a prize. That's what I picture anyway, for my next date :)

shineyalighttt · 2022-02-16T16:02:25+00:00

Since the end of my last relationship (jan 21), I’ve been on dating apps on and off. A year later, I’m still single and even more disappointed in men in general. I’ve been ghosted a lot due to a lack of honesty(maturity lol), sometimes after the first date, some only wanted to sleep with me… my dating scene in 2021 was awful.

I decided to stop online dating a month ago to rebuild myself (dating apps are a good confidence wrecker) since I have more to focus on than being with a man.

So, I’m officially with you !

pickmeisha_nomore · 2022-02-16T16:47:24+00:00

I’d really love to start a list of places we can meet HVM. I know people who have met HVM on OLD and are now married and happy it seems (but always gotta vet!). I am of the belief it’s not always black and white. My friend just met at a guy out at a sports bar and turns out he’s dating someone else. I’ve had that experience too.

Azure_blues9 · 2022-02-16T15:32:12+00:00

Met my Ex on Hinge. He was actually lovely. Worked in banking, had a gorgeous apartment in west London , a gentleman, romantic, good body, lots of hobbies etc. I broke it off because I wanted to focus on my law career. Point is there are some gems on the app, it’s no different than looking in person too. Those same people in real life are also on apps.

All_Perception · 2022-02-16T17:17:15+00:00

I deleted mine in December. In the few months I was on Bumble, a good 3/4 of men:

complained that I didn't have enough "body pics" so I "must be fat". Then,
complained that I didn't have enough face pics so I "must be ugly".
asked me where I lived. When I told them the city, "haha no I meant like what cross streets"

Also, same as you, men were the biggest Catfishes. Every single guy I dated had a few pictures on that were 5-10 plus years old. One guy probably weighed an extra 40 pounds. Yet by refusing to send NUDES prior to even meeting I'm the catfish.

I have way too many good things going on in my life to try to soft through that disrespect.

tartsbudoir · 2022-02-16T14:48:49+00:00

Just deleted mine Sunday. Here’s why- matched with a guy and the talking stage was good, no rushed intimacy, not bothersome, good timing and thoughtful follow up texts. We went on a nice date and an expensive restaurant. He mentioned he frequents a bar after work often (🚩#1). Well it just so happens that I know a bartender that works there, not really a friend but an acquaintance. The next day I texted her to ask if she knew him. She called me immediately and asked if he told me he was bisexual and was dating a guy a few months ago. She also serves him drinks until close often.

I am DONE with OLD.

2022-02-16T18:33:04+00:00

I facepalm when I think about LVM I've dealt with on apps, that was a waste of time. Each and single one of them had something about them that would explain why they been single for so long and using apps for years.

Usually, they just want a temporary source of female sex and attention while they focus on careers and enjoy their lives. It's like free escort. There's no benefit to be a side-piece for women.

LeaveMeAlone__308 · 2022-02-16T18:20:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2022-02-16T16:54:38+00:00

I havent used OLD in over a year. I deleted the apps after I was SA'ed by a guy I met on Tinder. He's now banned from Tinder but he's still on all the other OLD apps. OLD is dangerous.

feeling-february · 2022-02-16T18:42:33+00:00

Same terrible experiences and I’m done too!

It’s been FIVE years for me, and online dating has not provided one good experience yet. Sure, they like me til it’s time to commit and then they’re gone. No HVM are on these apps so neither am I now.

spacecats73 · 2022-02-16T15:40:10+00:00

I agree. I’m done with OLD. All it did was stress me out. I’m content being single and waiting until I meet someone I like by accident.

BoxingChoirgal · 2022-02-16T17:25:59+00:00

Good for you.

I have been off OLD/Apps for 3.5 YEARS and don't miss them.

2022-02-16T16:23:02+00:00

This sub was the most eye-opening thing I've encountered in the last years about dating apps, I literally thought that they were the only way to meet a SO.

Thank god I found this sub.

2022-02-16T17:14:02+00:00

It’s enlightening to compare the profile of someone you know to the truth and generalize from there. I found my ex’s profile on OLD and it was an exercise in mendacity and entitlement. He overstated his level of educational attainment by FIVE YEARS, he wants someone twenty years his junior, etc. His profile removed any lingering doubt I had about him—he 💯% scrote.

Certain-Year-5367 · 2022-02-16T18:06:49+00:00

I support you 💯, my problem is that the men I meet in real life usually want just sex and I always ding them, I seriously don’t know what to do again.

LittleWinn · 2022-02-16T16:52:06+00:00

Already did! Best thing I did in 2021!

sheokay · 2022-02-16T17:38:04+00:00

I feel like this is something that gets brought up every three months. A mod literally had to make a post saying OLD isn’t against FDS last time. I get why you think it’s a cesspool but OLD allows for volume which means you can roster date and don’t get attached. It’s your responsibility to vet.

IAMtheLightning · 2022-02-16T17:04:27+00:00

I am trying to hold on to a shred of hope with OLD because I live in a very small town where I never meet people organically, but I'm realizing it's all just very trash. I'm visiting my family in a major city right now and even with millions more people to swipe from, the pool is no less toxic.

JYQE · 2022-02-16T18:53:40+00:00

Well, how else do I meet men in a mismanaged pandemic?

daisy_0720 · 2022-02-18T19:18:38+00:00

Current OLD stats are crazy. A study in 2021 showed that 76% of users on Tinder were male. As for our sisters in the UK, this skyrockets to 85% of all OLD users being men.

I'm not using OLD as I find it a timesink, but I find it interesting that women appear to be leaving the apps in droves.

lolmemberberries · 2022-02-17T01:14:12+00:00

I left two years ago and have no plans on ever returning.

Bratsociety · 2022-02-17T16:53:34+00:00

Left in January and I don't wanna go back anytime soon.. 2 years of failed dates, wasted money, time, and mental health deterioration. I'm focusing on me and my own. Fuck the rest.

_mooness · 2022-02-17T13:17:34+00:00

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CakeSprinklesUnicorn · 2022-02-16T14:29:21+00:00

It might be the apps you’re using. Tinder and Bumble don’t let you filter enough or ask enough questions for compatibility. OKCupid at least lets you answer 10 to 200 compatibility questions and then filters your matches with a percentage score based on your answers.

Tinder and Bumble honestly need to step up their question game to let users more quickly filter out the pool.

Edit: Getting downvoted here, but I think part of the point I’m making that’s probably pissing downvoters off is that it helps to give yourself as many options/opportunities possible when rotational dating, even if you need to filter through the apps for options. As in business or job-hunting, doing nothing and waiting on the sidelines for sheer luck to help you out keeps you on the mercy of luck. Ultimately, finding the right person is a numbers’ game. I don’t find it very useful to ban all apps outright. There are some HVM on the apps, but you just have to filter a lot to find them. Filters and specific questions help to weed the men out. Also, app results are probably location-specific, depending on how close you live to a major metro area.

Title	Let's leave dating apps behind this month : who's with me!
Author	LeaveMeAlone__308
Upvotes	664
Comments	85
Date	February 16, 2022 2:24 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/stx4ih/lets_leave_dating_apps_behind_this_month_whos/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/lets-leave-dating-apps-behind-this-month-whos-with.1101958 https://theredarchive.com/post/1101958

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