Karma always works. It may not be instant although when it is, it can be awesome to watch. Usually, though, it takes a while. Today was one of those days where it was both instant and it took a while. Buckle in, this is long, and it is STORY TIME.
Be a woman online, get shit-talked, such is the way of being female on the internet. I've been online since the early 1990s, and chatted on three programs now since the mid- to late 90s. I can't tell you the number of men who've said shit to me, all over me being female, having a brain and not hiding it, having opinions, and making judgments that benefit me first. This is the way. All, obviously, have been discarded and forgotten. Usually the trash takes itself out as they invariably flounce off in a huff, in search of more tractable, demure, naive, weak women. That is so not me. And you can be sure I always, always mouth back, mouth off, and make sure to say THE MOST unforgivable shit I can possibly think of. I not only blow up bridges, I add C4, nitro, and dynamite. I want to create Grand Canyons of estrangement when any man starts being abusive to me. I want that man to think of me and have his dick shrivel back up inside his body.
I've had issues with this one guy in the program I chat on these days ever since Yahoo chat shut down. The problem is that average people can become admins. A further problem is that in chat, quite a lot of times, dysfunctional people will band together and excuse and even amp up their dysfunctions. This guy was that kind of problem: an admin, a shit-stirrer, an instigator. For a year or so I tried to communicate, then realized pretty quickly he was trolling. I'd troll back, say something vicious deliberately, then just ignore him.
The problem was, he just didn't stop. He kept on wanting to provoke and instigate and manipulate. He wouldn't or couldn't get the hint. He wouldn't or couldn't leave me alone, and yet, I never approached him, never spoke to him, only ever responded then went back to radio silence. And it always ended in abuse, me always giving way, way better than he ever gave to me. Seriously, you think you can win an argument with an English teacher? You sweet, sweet summer child!
Last summer, I had had enough, more than enough, enough for the rest of my life and any future lives. So I wrote this: "By earth, air, fire, water; by all the old gods, and the new; by all that is holy; by all that is unholy; by all that is, was, and shall be: I lay this geas upon you, [name redacted to protect the guilty], that if you speak any unkind, untrue word to me, Katie, your throat will be parched like the desert, and you will not be able to slake your thirst; your heart will race out of your chest, and you will die; your tongue will rot in your mouth, and you will be silent and silenced forever; and for speaking lies, filth, and abuse, you will never know love in your life and you will die friendless, alone, and forgotten. Speak truth and be kind, and you will escape these punishments. This geas is now upon you forever. So mote it be." I then started noticing that every time he said something to me, it was extremely short-lived. Who knows, maybe he did start having heart palpitations, or raging thirst, or feelings of extreme loneliness, solitude, despair.
What I wrote was a geas, and like all geases, they have an out. This is not the same as a curse. A geas specifies wrong behavior and consequences, then it shifts and gives the bearer of a geas a way out. Do this, get punished SEVERELY. Don't do this, escape punishment.
Today I went into one of my usual rooms, and one of the women there, whom I don't know very well, said JB was looking for you, he has something for your birthday. Publicly in the room I said oh ok, yeah I know you troll, so I'll avoid him as usual. Privately, I IMed her and said, look, I don't know if you know this, but this guy has trolled me for a couple of years now. I cannot stand him, don't want anything to do with him, and he is abusive.
She then told me they've been a couple for a few years now. OH REALLY NOW, you don't say. I did not know this until today. And she and I started talking. She had said she had feared he had had something going with me online, as in cheating; I said UGH, hell no, never. At some level, he let her think this, and never reassured her. That's abuse. It's manipulation, preying on and amplifying insecurity.
She and I had a very productive conversation, and she said she will ask him about me and about what has been said. I also told her, don't let him make all about himself. Don't let him turn it around and accuse her of not trusting him, etc. Ask to see one particular account, because he talked to me on that account, and he may have others. Because if he is the malignant narcissist I think he is, that will be his next play: deflect, turn things around, blame, play the victim, wah wah wah. And never, ever take responsibility for anything, even though I offered to send her screenshots. That offer remains open always.
I love karma. Karma works, albeit on its own time, and its own terms. And it is always, ALWAYS worth it to talk to other women, support other women, be upfront and friendly toward other women. A big, big part of me hopes she tears him a new one, they break up, he's left at least alone if not homeless and broke, etc.
I'm not a vengeful person... much. In this case, whatever happens to him, he has brought on himself, and I for one have no sympathy, no empathy, no regard. If he is the narcissist I think he is, he is a broken, empty shell of a humanoid, incapable of deep feeling, of kindness, empathy, compassion. Narcs are destroyers, and if this guy gets destroyed, oh well and too damn bad. Next time don't mess with a couple of intelligent women who stick together.
