date men who think like this

ABQ_COgirl · 2021-12-31T15:45:56+00:00

Men might do this when they aren’t over their ex. I briefly dated a guy who spoke well of ex/past relationship. He roofied me. And he wasn’t over his ex. It literally had nothing to do with being a good person.

aburke626 · 2021-12-31T02:10:54+00:00

To me, a huge red/green flag is how men talk about their exes. I once dated a guy who was going through a brutal divorce with a woman who had just horribly abused him and fucked him over, and he still never said anything unkind about her. He was over it and moving on and all, but when he’d talk about it, he’d never call her names or say anything disrespectful, and I was always impressed at how much he took the higher ground. (I personally wouldn’t have been so kind). He was a really HVM.

Hhjjuuy · 2021-12-31T19:04:28+00:00

If this was written by his ex from her perspective I would praise it.

Written by the man I don't trust it to be an honest representation of the situation. There are many possible shitty undertones to this.

ETA: any man who says "raise strong women" can get right to fuck.

Unfit_Needleworker · 2021-12-31T18:57:51+00:00

Is he still going to be doing this when dating another woman? Not sure I’d feel that great with my man going to his exes house to cook her breakfast. Send a gift from your kids, sure. But the rest is too far, IMO.

Healingirl · 2021-12-31T01:01:11+00:00

Bless him 🙏🏼

BBQCoolRanchQueen · 2021-12-31T08:41:25+00:00

We need more of this. Most men trash talk the mother of their children, the one who sacrificed their career, body, and mind to bring forth their children into this world. What we need most is men calling out other men on their scrotey behaviors.

randomgirl34861 · 2021-12-31T06:04:52+00:00

When I was practicing therapy, I had a client who had two children and an ex husband with a very serious drug problem. His brother was also an addict and died due to same drug he was abusing. He was just in a horrible, horrible place. This woman would still go with the kids to get cards and gifts for their father for holidays and special days and mail them to him when he was at treatment (that was the only time he’d have an accessible address). She would bake his favorite things with her children and send them to him because that’s what they wanted to do. She’d still call and FaceTime him so the kids could talk to him. Even though he’d forget and didn’t answer, she’d still do it. I ended up tearing up in one of our sessions (note: my belief is that if the emotions you are showing promote a corrective, positive experience for your client, it’s okay to show them) and told her I’ve never seen such selflessness. I told her that the way her love for her children trumped all the BS was one of the most moving things I’ve ever seen in my life (which also made her cry lol). I don’t practice anymore because I wasn’t very good, but this woman seemed to gain a lot from our sessions anyway. She doubted herself quite a lot, but I guess having her therapist saying “you’re such an incredible human and mother that it moves me to tears” really helped 🤷‍♀️

It takes A LOT to do this. I love my mom, and she’s the best, but she couldn’t do this. She crapped on my dad every chance she got (and I don’t blame her because he was actual garbage) but when you hate a parent, you hate a part of yourself. And there is definitely parts of myself I hate, like I have my dads laugh and it sounds so ugly to me. I hope I’m never in the position where I need to this, because it requires otherworldly strength.

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2021-12-31T07:29:03+00:00

If he wanted to be such a great example to his "two little men" he should have worked harder on the marriage and stayed with their mum.

Mothers don't leave when their kids are small unless there is a huge defect with the man.

I wonder if he did this stuff when they were actually together?

JadeBaby2211 · 2021-12-31T01:25:31+00:00

Something doesn't sit quite right with me with this. I suspect he's almost trying to love bomb her from a distance. The fact that he couldn't work things out with his ex is huge, and flowers cannot fix the effects of poor behavior in marriage.

My abusive ex would do similar things to this guy. Get gifts for the mother of his children etc, was big on teaching consent and boundaries but still psychologically abuse his kids.

Title	date men who think like this
Author	katiekat0214
Upvotes	659
Comments	36
Date	December 31, 2021 12:35 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rsgt37/date_men_who_think_like_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/date-men-who-think-like-this.1089850 https://theredarchive.com/post/1089850

Comments