college student. i've only had one boyfriend and it was in high school. since then i can't seem to keep any guys interest or get interest from the ones who i am interested in. all my friends get with new guys all the time and find boyfriends so easily and don't think twice about it. i don't have anything against their lifestyle but i set out to save it for someone i really loved. i've seen so many girls around me be emotionally destroyed for years over guys and it terrifies me. i thought i was gonna lose it to my ex but he found someone else shortly after we broke up two years ago now. guys either don't believe i'm still a virgin or think differently of me when they find out. or they stop talking to me altogether. i'm not stupid. i know guys probably don't bother with me probably because they get the sense that i don't put out. the thing is, it feels really bad. like really bad. like i'm not easy so i'm not worth it at all. like they think i'm a prude and a loser or sexually inept or not a relationship person. i WANT a relationship. everything i am doing in my life is for a future relationship in mind. i've been told i'm an "intense" person. i workout every day, i get straight A's in uni, avoiding loans, bought my own car, i am saving up every penny for a downpayment on a house, work all year through school.. but my life is missing relationships. and i crave connection. i feel really sad about it and that something must be wrong with me. i really want a serious boyfriend. i want marriage one day. and i don't want sex outside of the context of a committed relationship without someone who is serious about me.

i'm shy and quiet or maybe i give off the wrong vibes? i struggle with depression. the guys that are interested in me are... not my type.. damaged or off-putting with tattoos, unsavory habits. i've had really bad luck with dating apps or maybe my standards are too high. i've shown my friends my profile and they say that there's nothing wrong with it, but guys that i match with only seem to invite me to their house. i was in love with my ex and broken over losing that connection last year but i'm definitely ready to move forward now. but no guy has compared since and i haven't felt connected since that relationship so long ago now- i feel scared. i feel shame for my virginity. i feel so behind in my relationship and sexual experience. i don't know where i'm going with this, or where to start, just that i would really appreciate some advice from sisters. thank you ❤️