This is something I have realised several times over the past few months.

So I have been going on dates and talking to men here and there since I broke up with my ex over a year ago, not really because I was eager to get into a new relationship, but more with a "whatever happens happens" kind of mentality (i.e. "if I find someone interesting I might consider it, otherwise I'm not desperate to find a boyfriend").

None of these led to anything as I ended up not being interested in them in a romantic way. Still, the men I've been seeing were always people with similar interests, interesting, fun people to be with, that I could talk to for hours. They were reliable, very chivalrous and respectful. In the end, there might not have been a "spark" but I still considered them pretty HVM and they would be men I would like to continue to talk to as friends, simply because they were great, interesting humans and we got along well.

Now this is where there seems to be a fundamental difference in how men and women work.

I had to curve every single one of those guys because I noticed at some point that they seemed interested romantically and I wasn't, and I didn't intend to lead them on. What happened then, is that EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of them never talked to me after I did it. The funny posts they used to send me everyday? Gone. The controversial takes they saw online and wanted to discuss with me? Gone. The cute cat pictures? GONE TOO (that one hurt the most). Asking news about how I am doing and how are my projects going? Obviously gone. And I know it's petty of me to check but, they also stop checking my stories on social media? I know that's a silly detail but to me that really says "now I don't care what you're up to".

And I didn't curve them in a mean / rude way or anything, I was always super nice and polite about it.

Now, obviously I didn't expect them to be there thirsting on my a** for months or continue to pursue me, even after I curved them. Quite the opposite. But my VERY naive self thought we could still talk, since we got along in the first place? I don't consider anyone a "friend" easily, but if I enjoy talking to someone especially if we talk almost daily, I will still look out for them? But from their point of view? Nah. The moment they realised they were never gonna smash, they dipped.

And to me that's a very clear message to send. The conversations we had and my personality or company, they were never really interested in. They all had an ulterior motive while they were talking to me, and the second I made it clear sex wasn't on the table, talking to me just wasn't worth the hassle anymore. And once again, I'm not talking about your basic LVM sending "wyd" every other week and inviting you at his place for the first date. I block at the slightest sign of disrespect and these men were definitely the "upper part of the barrel". Men who talked about getting into a relationship before they ever mentioned sex.

Now I understand that if you are actively looking for a serious relationship, you don't necessarily have time to talk with every person you've ever dated up until now and entertain a friendship with them. But brutally deciding you'll never talk to then again? How little do you have to care about someone to do that? Personally, if I got along with a man and found him great to the point I'd consider a relationship with him, I'd still want to talk to him even if he curved me. Because if I hold enough consideration for him that I'd want him as my boyfriend, then I definitely hold enough consideration for him to be my friend, and I like being around people who ressemble me but who also inspire me.

Am I crazy to think this way?!

I know that FDS holds particular views regarding men who have female friends, but personally I could never consider dating a man who doesn't have any female friends. To me that would just mean that the only way they would want to be close to a woman is if if find her attractive and the woman lets him smash. That would just show how little consideration he has towards women as humans in general.

Anyway sorry for the long rant but all of these experiences make me never want to talk to men anymore, because I am tired of being discarded like a subhuman the second I say I don't plan to fuck them. I have extremely high standards physically but I also know that people can grow on me when we get along, so until now I've always given men chances even if they were not 1000% my type but now I guess I'll just stick to my type since you can never win with men.

What do you think? Did you have similar experiences? Am I too stupid and naive to expect something from men I've curved, or is it normal to be disappointed when the person disappears immediately after, even though you supposedly got along well? What would you do in the opposite situation?