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fdssavedmylife Archive

View 2 posts and 1,003 comments by fdssavedmylife on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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435

#KickHimOut2020fdssavedmylife/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 05:16 PM
1

fdssavedmylife/r/askFDS02/04/21 02:41 PM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 1,003 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Telling the truth about men is violence. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 04:28 AM
20

It’s horrifying to realize every trait modern straight men are typically attracted to, whether physical or mental, is a trait commonly used to describe children. I truly fear the direction our society is going regarding blurring the lines around pedophilia.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 04:04 AM
81

After realizing every single man I’ve been with either raped me by coercion or ignoring boundaries, the idea of letting a man anywhere near my body again makes me physically ill. And you know, I’d rather not spend years of therapy teaching myself how to have sex with a disgusting man again. I’m good; I have better things to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 03:51 AM
13

I completely agree with all of this! It’s so exciting to find women on similar journeys. I’m open to the idea of a relationship, just not going to seek it anymore, and someone would really have to impress me. But I don’t really go out or have friends with male acquaintances so the chances are low lol good luck with your date! I hope he’s respectful and you have fun at the very least. I’ve had several great first/second dates that I certainly don’t regret; it’s all the stuff after that’s given me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 11:44 AM
50

Same, it made me cry a little. I’m learning this in my almost-30s as well. I have never dreamed of my life. It’s always been get married and then ~life starts.~ Fuck that. I’m no longer planning for marriage and now the world has opened up to me. All the possibilities and potential I had in my youth never left; it was just hindered by the idea that my value diminishes at 30 or that I was racing some kind of clock to make my life work. We have been taught that men will immediately lose their attr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 10:49 AM
29

Hey, you clearly haven’t read the handbook and aren’t totally “getting” FDS yet. I recommend doing some research and then trying again. Your input is deeply unhelpful. I also want to quote your other comment that was deleted or removed. “A HVM will realize you’re used to dating scumbags and think you have an STD.” Actually, I’ve exclusively dated scum bags and have never even had an STD scare. But nice victim blaming. Any man (or woman, honestly) who assumes they know my sexual health is NOT HV …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 10:05 PM
11

I believe I used this site. https://www.staffordshire.gov.uk/Education/Access-to-learning/Graduated-response-toolkit/School-toolkit/Communication-and-interaction/Social-communication-autism/SEN-support-in-school/Autism-in-Girls-checklist.pdf The “Early Years” portion at the bottom pretty much describes my childhood experience to a T. The sources the other commenter linked are great as well though!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 09:37 PM
30

If he’s only seeing her, he’ll tell her he found the item. This is actually a great tactic, because there’s no way to prove she left it on purpose and it causes no harm or inconvenience to him in any way. Unfortunately being paranoid is the only way we can protect ourselves from lies. Even if there are HVM, the majority have ruined it for them by evading, hiding, and lying. HVM will understand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:51 PM
33

I suspect as well, but I’m nervous about seeking a diagnosis if I’m wrong. It first occurred to me when I saw the checklist of signs specifically for girls/women. The childhood markers almost describe me perfectly. I’ve taken several online quizzes with surprisingly high results. No one I know “believes” me because I’m so good at pretending to be neurotypical. But internally, social interactions often feel unnatural and forced, like I’m reading a script. I feel like I’ve “taught” myself how to b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 03:08 PM
35

Absolutely agreed. It’s so painful to look back and realize all the things he did to hurt me, because he was too chickenshit to “be the bad guy” by breaking up with me. What he did was much worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 02:12 PM
8

It’s so so dangerous to believe men can’t be catty or passive aggressive. I just accepted this in my late 20s. Men would be obviously negging me or acting out of spite and I’d think “well they can’t be playing games, men are LoGiCaL” 🤢 don’t believe it for a second!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 02:01 PM
83

I argued with an ex after he purposely ignored a sweet text from me for seven hours because he “needed space” while hanging out with his friend. I had emphasized the seven hours part. So when he wanted to punish me after that, he’d wait 6 hours and 55 minutes to respond just so he could say it wasn’t seven hours. They’re disgustingly diabolical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 01:40 PM
7

I’m anti-natalist, so I’m right there with you. But people will continue to be born regardless of how I feel. FDS has improved my life by dispelling myths about men, but I still hope it may leave a lasting positive impact. If that impact is women straight up not procreating with men anymore, all the better. Sadly, it’s much, much, MUCH more likely for every woman to completely give up on relationships with men than it is for every man to improve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 01:20 PM
13

Exactly. I have never worried about this. I have never once been concerned that my actions could be “perceived” as sexual assault or that my partner was not 110% consenting. People who care about consent don’t worry about “false” allegations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:30 AM
19

Every man scared of “false” allegations should stay inside and never speak to a woman again, right? Please do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:28 AM
69

Ugh so guilty of thinking, “Maybe he’s different” about 22 times in my life. Nah sis, I promise you: same shit, different dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:24 AM
30

Lately I’ve been thinking about this quote: A society grows great when old men plant trees in whose shade they know they shall never sit. I’m celibate. I don’t plan to ever find a HVM. I don’t believe it’s possible for men to improve in their lifetime. They need to be raised differently; they need to grow up in a different society. But FDS is the tree we are planting so our future sisters can sit in the shade one day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:18 AM
58

Honestly, same! Can you imagine truly believing you are entirely controlled by your sexual organs and using that as an excuse to commit horrendous acts against dozens of people, going through life never reflecting or growing or becoming your higher self? Never desiring deep platonic connections or wanting to treat others more kindly? Never developing complex hobbies or learning to understand your emotions or holding a friend while they cry (with no ulterior motive)? Men pathetically, desperately…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 09:53 PM
120

Exactly. Men consider themselves good people as long as they aren’t violently raping strangers in the street, though I bet most of them have pressured a woman into sex (hey guys, guess what — if she said no at any point and you still had sex, you’re a rapist!). That’s where the “not all men” and “nice guy” crowds come from. They think they’re Captain America if they haven’t murdered someone this week. Edit to be explicitly clear and potentially reach young men who haven’t been in this situation …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 09:30 PM
6

I’ve been working on this in my late 20s and have unintentionally been returning to the hobbies, morals, perspectives, and relationships I had as a teenager. I tried really hard to care less, be the “cool” girl, blend in with my peers more. For the first time, I am truly letting go of what others think. Not just in an “are they actively judging me” or “do people like me” kind of way, but in a self-validating, “no one else can love me like I can” and “only I know what’s best for me” way. I’ve sto…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 09:16 PM
74

Even the phrase “making him wait” implies that men are entitled to sex in every romantic situation. They wouldn’t be WAITING if they actually enjoyed spending time with and getting to know another person instead of just WAITING for sex they think they deserve for what? Sending a few cute texts? MAYBE buying dinner? Hey guys, guess what? Even after dating for a year, even after being married — a woman does not owe you sex. You are not waiting for anything, because we are not withholding anything …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 09:04 PM
32

We have enough examples to prove that LVM lie and hide things in order to pretend they are HVM. Many women have believed to be with HVM only to accidentally discover the terrible truth. Phones and computers are commonly used not only to cheat, but to cover up evidence. Due to their history of poor behavior, snooping is now the only way to confirm a man is HV, and only if they don’t know you’re looking. If the OP’s friend hadn’t snooped, she may still be with a horrible person who cheated on her.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 06:37 PM
12

She looks so defeated. Either she deserves an Oscar or that woman is emotionally broken.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:57 PM
36

I spent so long (10 years) convincing myself the physically and emotionally abusive relationship I went through as a teenager didn’t affect me at all. I hated giving him the “satisfaction” of messing with my life, so I just metaphorically ran and pretended it didn’t happen. Seeing comments like this help me understand why I allowed myself to be treated so poorly in various other ways by every man since then, because at least he wasn’t hitting me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:52 PM
91

This is the key. If you’re going to snoop, you must be prepared to leave if you find something. There’s no “working through this” because they will gaslight TF out of you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:05 AM
38

Exactly. It is completely reasonable to expect the same treatment from our partners that we give them. I don’t thirst after randos on social media, so I refuse to date someone who does. It’s that simple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:01 AM
78

It comforts me to know that since I have no men in my life, my risk of getting raped or murdered is significantly lower, because men have a habit of doing that shit to women they know! Subscribe to man facts. You’ll never date again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 10:53 AM
35

Ugh I dated the most “meh” men ever. Like my friends and coworkers wouldn’t even give me a courtesy “he’s cuUUute” for these men. I can confidently say now that I was too attractive for all of them, but I built them up so much, complimenting and encouraging them all the time. I cringe to think about the ratio of compliments I’ve given to men vs. received from men (sexual comments don’t count, boys!). They all acted like they were insecure and needed the help. In my naïveté, I wanted to help them…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 07:02 PM
19

Ugh. I had a couple’s therapist preach “ignorance is bliss” as well. Just goes to show that most hetero relationships depend on women gaslighting themselves. We’re considered defective for noticing issues and enforcing our boundaries. Why are only women expected to change, adapt, and accept to make a relationship work? It’s unacceptable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 02:16 AM
33

These are the only men I’m attracted to lately 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 12:25 AM
78

I don’t even feel comfortable walking around my suburban neighborhood in leggings because of creeps slowing down in their cars. Men ruin everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 06:04 PM
97

I saw a post or comment explaining that women “bring up old shit” because men lie and evade, so the “old shit” was never resolved in the first place. If women bring up a valid concern, LVM argue and gaslight them until they’re emotionally exhausted and forget what the fight was even about. Of course they’re eventually going to remember and want to actually discuss it before moving on. Then the cycle starts again. I was stuck in this trap last year; it’s mental torture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 05:57 PM
68

I think they think what they’re feeling is love, but even then it’s only reserved for women who are unattainable in some way (crushes, exes, friend’s girlfriends). Most love songs by men are about women who want nothing to do with them. I don’t think they’re capable of reciprocal love, because once a woman loves them, they automatically believe they’re too good for her. Men are broken.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 02:37 PM
134

It’s really depressing to look back and realize those men that you thought the world of, that you had all these romantic fantasies about, that you felt you had this ~deep connection~ with were just smiling and nodding their heads while thinking about how they can get your clothes off. Men want to have sex with a woman until they like her enough to have conversations and then maybe they date and then eventually think “oh I guess I could marry this woman.” That love story in your head ain’t playin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 12:32 PM
24

Can we PLEASE do this? No one notices MGTOW because no one gives a shit about them — dick is abundant and low value. But if women collectively stopped having casual sex, (i.e. stopped dressing up and getting naked for ugly scrotes who are 93% likely to leave us unsatisfied — seriously, what’s in it for us?) that’s enough to start a revolution. Men would have to change. And I don’t believe they will change as long as we keep sleeping with them. We need to start demanding respect before sex or we’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 12:15 PM
11

Absolutely no one is pro-abortion. But these assholes need to have some kind of system or safety net in place for millions of unwanted children if they take away our choice. Of course they don’t. So more suffering, more mouths to feed, less to go around, and more people to buy shit. Fuck this world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 12:07 PM
11

Yeah that’s how I’ve always felt! Any man approaching me in public only knows what I look like, so he only knows that he wants to fuck me, and I know literally nothing about him. Gross. Why would anyone entertain the type of men who slide into DMs or think it’s appropriate to hit on strangers in public? It’s wild to me that actually works for some of these idiots. I’m trying to live my life; I’m not part of their omnipresent mental meat market.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 12:03 PM
89

I’ve seen many accounts of women being annoyed at men approaching them, but I’m not sure I’ve ever read or heard a woman openly express pride for not being hit on. I do my best to be unapproachable. I’m aware of men around me, but I don’t make eye contact. I mostly pretend they don’t exist or am very curt when we interact, and I’ve rarely been hit on or bothered by men in public. Despite this being my goal, it’s still difficult not to feel like it’s a negative reflection on my appearance somehow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 12:30 AM
8

I really wish they’d all start having sex with each other and leave us alone. Incentivize sperm donations (from worthy donors, of course — sorry, scrotes, gotta be under 35 and over 5’9”) and let women raise children in exclusive spaces. We’ll be fine. We’ll flourish. Ah, one can dream.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 08:16 PM
16

Absolutely! Men have no shame being desperate about their sexual “needs.” They literally act like they will die without it. Thousands of pathetic losers in a certain sub leaving or cheating on their wives because despite being taken care of and offered love in every single way, they aren’t getting the amount of sex they think they “deserve.” Impotent idiots who put absolutely zero effort into their relationship so their wives have lost all attraction to them, but somehow they’re the victims whil…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 08:12 PM
12

Agreed, especially because he paid for it. If she bought the parts and he had the skills and better eyesight to put it together, maybe a normal friend thing to do. This reads “please take me back I can’t trick anyone else to have sex with me.” But I’m generally uncomfortable with men spending a lot of money on me — I feel like there’s always an unspoken arrangement or expectation attached — so that may be personal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 04:19 PM
17

Yep. Men help other men, they help their family (conditional), and they help women they’re attracted to. That’s it. I’ve never personally witnessed a man’s kindness or generosity extend past that. I can’t even think of well known charitable acts by men that solely benefit women. Googled it to be sure and the only male celebrity that may do this is John Legend. Not sure if he’s otherwise FDS approved, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:29 PM
29

“HVM are a Myth” gang rise up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 11:28 AM
110

Absolutely. I’m openly and proudly very cynical, but it sounds like this dude is just not over his ex. She definitely broke up with him. I’m assuming it’s super easy to be on “good terms” with exes that are still in love with you. I certainly wouldn’t be interested in dating this guy if she were still in his life, but hey, I guess my inability to accept these “HVM” is why I’m planning to be single forever. For every seemingly kind act by a man, I could tell you three reasons why it’s probably se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 11:21 AM
65

Exaaaactly. Men love to spew bullshit about how difficult it is for women to orgasm. Nope, men are just entirely self-serving and terrible in bed. It’s been statistically proven. You just know the rate of men orgasming with a hookup is close to 100. Why are we even sleeping with them? They don’t deserve sex with women, on any level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 09:39 PM
19

Exactly!! And even men who are overweight can work out a bit and claim to be “bulky.” Their “body image” struggles are either made up or a result of their obsession with impressing other men. I don’t know any overweight women who feel entitled to date a fit man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 06:17 PM
135

9s and 10s? Uhhh according to fat, slimy losers on Reddit, the animated woman would be a 4 at best lol they’re deluuuuuuusional. (Hey. Hey dude reading this. You’re uglier than you think you are. You don’t deserve hot women. And if you’re overweight, you don’t deserve thin women. Get the fuck over yourself.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:44 PM
9

Just because someone else is acting mad at you doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or that you even did anything wrong. Trust yourself. This is something I’m still trying to learn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 10:22 AM
2

You know, I actually googled it just to be sure before I commented because a part of me thought, “No... no way. That must be some kinda wild ‘my cousin’s friend heard of this person...’ tall tale.” Nope, it is unfortunately very real and really horrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 01:54 AM
78

Not to mention the endless threads gaslighting empathetic women about how mEn NeVeR gEt CoMpLiMeNtS, oh boo fucking hoo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 09:27 PM
13

Every consistent beauty standard for women comes down to looking like children. Smooth, hairless, doe-eyed, small. Any man who is turned off by body hair or facial lines has pedophilic tendencies. They don’t want their sexual partners to look like adults.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 05:04 PM
6

Let’s not forget the SW who’s livestreaming the birth of her child on OF. Men will be jerking off to a newborn baby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:57 PM
32

This sentiment makes a lot of women very uncomfortable and I’m really happy to see the tides turning and this subject being brought up more often on here. It is contradictory to preach radfem principles while fully buying into the preferred feminine image of the patriarchy. Yes, you can absolutely be a feminist and wear make up or shave your legs, but those actions are 100% created, influenced, and encouraged by the patriarchy. It is to make women appear younger and more pleasing to the male gaz…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 03:03 PM
5

I just finished The Push by Ashley Audrain. Definitely worth a read for people who don’t want to be mothers or perhaps didn’t find motherhood to be as “rewarding” as they expected. I probably wouldn’t recommend it to happy mothers, but take your chances. Also I’m dying to discuss this book with someone — it made me feel EVERYTHING. I’ve never had a novel cause so many simultaneous, conflicting emotions before. It really forces you to be uncomfortable and uncertain throughout much of the book. It…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 10:09 PM
4

I have Ovarit invite codes! I’ll turn my PMs on for the day in case anyone is interested. Join us 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 09:58 PM
13

Huh, losers on Reddit always seem to leave that part out. I was obsessed with Johnny Depp for a good portion of my teens, but I lost all respect for him when Amber’s initial accusations came out. I never bought it when the narrative switched and everyone started claiming she was the sole abuser in the relationship. They were both abusive, but somehow that absolves the man in their eyes. Two wrongs make a right, but only for men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 09:28 PM
44

He looks the love child of Edward Scissorhands and Jack Sparrow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 09:04 PM
114

The worst part is most of these relate-to-Tom-from-500-Days-of-Summer losers actually believe they’re the victims because life hasn’t served them a mommy bangmaid dream girl on a platter the way they expected. Why would they care about the temporary girlfriend? It’s not like she’s a real person with feelings. She’s just a side character in the story of their life, on their journey to find “The One.” (I’m convinced they genuinely think this way and it’s horrifying)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 10:54 PM
23

Well, this was another one of my many lightbulb moments since joining FDS. This makes so much sense. They prey on our best qualities, our empathy and compassion. They’re sick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 05:30 PM
11

Same as you, I’ve read countless self help and relationship books. I’ve wasted several books sharing them with men, in the spirit of “let’s learn how to be better together.” They never read the books. Every single one of them will tell you the relationship failing was 110% my fault. (And at one point I believed it) They’re too ignorant to understand how deeply ignorant they truly are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 10:48 AM
184

I related to that reason the most! Yes, all of these apply, but the true issue is that men don’t have the ability to appreciate women. I saw a comment on YouTube yesterday that was accurately describing a woman as “beautiful, funny, and smart” but then had to ruin it by adding “which is a rare find.” Is that a joke? Should I be laughing? MOST women I know are beautiful, funny, and smart at minimum. They are usually also talented, artistic, compassionate, attentive, and intuitive. “Good” women ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 11:11 PM
132

The only men who would be upset by this video are the ones who are guilty of doing exactly what it describes. Most of them will remember a specific encounter, or several, get that funny feeling in the pit of their stomach and push it away or justify it in some way. But I want to believe some men are strong and self-aware enough to sit with that feeling until they can commit to doing better or staying away from women altogether if they can’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 05:49 PM
14

If you asked me a year ago if I thought seemingly normal, functional men could jerk off thinking about their partner’s rape or painful labor, I’d be horrified. Now it seems run of the mill. Props to whoever has the ability to trust men after seeing stuff like this, because I certainly don’t. I couldn’t invent a man or relationship that’s worth the risk of being exploited like that again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 01:47 PM
18

Ugh I hate that last part. Just a way to gaslight kind women into being a participant in their own pain. It’s so fucked up. I’m bi, so I used to “check out” women with my boyfriends when I was a teenager. But then I grew up and stopped being so lascivious in general. If I can be attracted to women without objectifying and debasing them, so can men. I love how the creator addressed this! I never compare myself to other women and if I do, I’m supportive or find a way to use my admiration as inspir…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:36 PM
19

I’ve experienced a whooooole lot of “gray area cheating” from my partners and let me tell you, the most damaging one by far was the guy who followed instagram “models” (mostly local girls with a few thousand followers who just like showing their tits for fun, not even for money). Because he’d be flaunting (by liking, commenting, etc) the exact women he wished I looked like. Plus, since they were all local and not famous... how does he know them? Tinder matches? Exes? SWs? I wouldn’t know, becaus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:43 PM
3

I’ve been doing this since I was a teenager for certain “types” of guys (cocky douchebros who think they’re super hot) because I know how bad they wanted and expected me to fall all over them. But now I do it to every man, since it’s likely they feel entitled to my time and attention. They don’t care if you’re winking or glaring; they’re desperate for any acknowledgement from a woman and consider it a sign of encouragement if you notice them, so denying them that is the only way to go IMO. Extra…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 12:48 AM
621

They claim to be offended by the “bumbling husband” stereotype while simultaneously perpetuating and benefiting from it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 12:22 AM
26

I knew someone toward the end of high school who was in a very similar situation. The guy told her he “wasn’t ready for a relationship” so she stayed faithful while he slept with dozens of other women for years. Eventually they got married so I guess she got what she wanted... all she had to sacrifice was her dignity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 10:09 PM
35

How lacking in self awareness can a group of people be? Do they have any idea what it takes to have the body of the women they all jerk off to everyday? Anorexia and plastic surgery are no healthier than steroids. They’re so fucking dumb and hypocritical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 09:43 PM
7

haha I know, I usually write a novel! I totally agree. They want us to believe the mask they present to the world is all that matters and the shit they say behind our backs shouldn’t count. No, that’s who they are. The things men say on an anonymous Internet forum is who they really are. And yeah, the actual good guys aren’t the ones saying “not all men” because they understand the state of modern masculinity IS inherently toxic. I can’t remember if it was a post or comment that said true femini…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 03:51 PM
51

Get your faces IN THERE, boys!!! If you’re not messy you’re doing it wrong... eating papaya, I mean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 02:14 PM
44

Wow this never clicked for me until just now. I was conditioned to almost always say yes to sex. I think subconsciously I believed it was easier to just do it than say no and make them angry (luckily something I worked out in therapy). But after reading your comment, I realize that men have never been interested when I initiate. I thought it was on a case by case basis, but now that I’m looking back, every man I’ve been with would get super awkward and either outright reject me or act really hes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 02:06 PM
6

hahah YES they’ve all been conditioned to think they deserve pussy on demand. If HVM exist, they’re out living their life, not swiping right on tinder all day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 01:34 PM
11

That’s great you were able to have a productive conversation with a man about the state of modern masculinity. I go back and forth all the time, because I’m an idealist who tries to see the good in people but every man I’ve known intimately has been a monster in some way and I’ve tried very very very hard to only date “nice” men. So I will never trust or assume the good in any man I don’t know. This isn’t like I’ve met 3 men and they were mean to me. I’ve met thousands of men, talked to hundreds…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 01:30 PM
82

I consider myself on the extreme end of “man-hating,” more so than anyone I know irl, and I don’t wish harm on any man. I just want them to stop using and abusing us, or leave us alone. They know they’re being abusive by lying to women for sex, forcing BDSM on their partners, never wearing condoms or getting tested... and that’s just the shit they pull before a potential “relationship” begins. Most of them don’t feel bad about it. Some of them even enjoy knowing they’re traumatizing women. Still…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 01:44 AM
20

Absolutely. LVM will often establish a pattern of communication, usually very frequent in the love bombing stage, and then intentionally slow ghost or “miss texts” or are all of a sudden too busy at work to say good morning when he always did before. It could be an attempt to make their partner feel insecure and be in “control” of the situation. Other possible reasons are he got bored after having sex, he found someone easier to manipulate, you called him on his shit, etc. If you’ve been togethe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 01:27 AM
77

I totally agree. It sounds dramatic, but I don’t personally consider it a challenge or something to be proud of. It’s not like fasting or training for a marathon. It’s natural, effortless, just continuing my life as is. I’ve always been happier when I’m single and I’m tired of pretending that’s a coincidence or that it’s going to change with the “right guy.” I tried OLD one last time earlier this year, but I’m pretty sure I’ve lost my attraction to men, similar to the way someone would stop crav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:06 PM
2

Ooh I wonder if mods could offer a “program” where we can notify them if we’re deleting/switching accounts and our flair can transfer over. Though I suppose it’s not too difficult to be approved. Just don’t be a man who lacks basic knowledge of how women think and speak lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 10:31 PM
12

Exactly. Thank you for explaining it so well. We aren’t allowed to be jealous anymore. “Jealous” automatically means we’re crazy and he didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve been there and I’ve done everything I can to avoid using that word because the moment you do, everything you say is immediately discredited. You’ve branded yourself as a JEALOUS woman. So now he can do literally anything and if you get upset, it’s because you have a jealousy problem. So yeah, fully support this woman saying she isn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 10:16 PM
40

This made me happy cry. My abusive ex’s family openly blamed me for his abuse and said I “made him do it.” I still didn’t leave or call the cops. To me, she’s a superhero.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 10:13 PM
8

When you’re a man, you just say it wasn’t your fault and people actually believe you. Must be fuckin’ nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 10:10 PM
44

I recommend every woman on OLD to leave a guy on read for a day before you respond. Trust me, you’ll weed out a loooooot of psychos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 10:01 PM
2

Good deeds don’t take away the LV stench that must be emanating off of him in waves. He didn’t even play it off as a joke — he actually sulked? If you don’t need to interact with him, I recommend throwing the whole man away for your own good. He’s vile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 09:07 PM
92

Karen is a misogynistic dog whistle at this point. It just means “woman I don’t like.” e: actually, now that I’m thinking about it... it means bitch. That’s what they’re saying, without saying it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 08:32 PM
23

Annnnnd this is why I’ll likely never date again. Men are automatically less attracted to a woman once she admits the feelings are mutual or “gives it up.” It’s pathetic and I’m not playing their games anymore. disclaimer: I don’t believe in HVM, but my views are in no way representative of FDS as a whole*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 04:13 PM
5

I’ve been trying to appreciate my pets more lately! They are family. They adore us and depend on us like children. I can’t imagine a more peaceful feeling than relaxing on a day off with my little fuzzy butts cuddled up next to me. One self help book, I believe Attached, discusses how people should compare new relationships to a “constant,” a stable connection that is reliable and predictable, that doesn’t make you feel stressed. My dog is the only “guy” to ever fit that description lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 03:27 PM
11

I believe in it for others, but I just don’t expect it for myself. At all. It used to be all I wanted too. Oh well, I have better dreams now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 03:17 PM
24

I’ve given up on this generation of men, even gen Z. Maybe when their sons are growing up, (parts of) the world will be kinder to women. Maybe porn will finally be stigmatized. Maybe men will actually start stepping up. Maybe they’ll learn they aren’t “cavemen.” Maybe they’ll realize they aren’t actually controlled by their sexual urges and they’re just making a conscious choice to be depraved and sociopathic. Maybe maybe maybe. But I don’t believe it will happen in my lifetime. Regardless, we n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 03:02 PM
8

It’s pervasive. I remember having a discussion about this with my older sister when I was maybe 12 (~20 years ago). Already I had been brainwashed into thinking women can tooootally have tons of casual sex just like men with zero consequence and men toooootally won’t judge us for it because they’re so progressive and iT’s ThE 21sT cEnTuRy. Luckily I didn’t fully buy in until I was in my mid-20s, but I’d do anything to take back every single casual encounter I’ve had. It only benefited the men an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 10:28 PM
20

They didn’t forget; men just spew lies about how neglected and mistreated they are by the women who are raising their kids, washing their shitty underwear, and making their doctor’s appointments... and these idiot SWs tell themselves it’s true so they can sleep at night. They really choose to believe wives/girlfriends are the villains in the scenario.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 10:23 PM
26

Oh snap, I didn’t even know she and Jason Sudeikis broke up. Harry seems like a better option based on that comment. Good for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:40 PM
25

They also do this to create a context of your behavior, so when you finally realize how horrible they are, they’re primed with, “You never see things clearly. You’re so irrational. See, this is just like the time you a, b, c...” But they’re not consciously this smart. It cannot possibly be intentional for all of them. It’s as if they are just naturally programmed to be emotionally abusive, manipulative predators.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 09:23 PM
5

But remember, men are “starved for affection.” They’re literally dying of involuntary celibacy. It seems like the only non-slutty men are the ones who don’t have the ability to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 08:52 PM
161

Most men have absolutely no qualms about lying or saying whatever they need to say to get sex. They all know they do this, pretend to care about women to get in her pants. They don’t see it as lying. They see it as necessary. They see it as A FUNCTION of dating. They’re broken. e: if you’re a man reading this thinking, “noT aLl MeN. I DoN’t Do ThAt” — great! Now tell your friends and coworkers to stop doing it. Start holding other men accountable. Create a social stigma around treating women poo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 10:57 AM
2

I absolutely 100% agree. Some may consider it cynical, but it’s the truth. And maybe it’s easy for me to see because my weight has been all over the place, so I’ve been hot and not several times in my life. Men are “visual creatures” in the fact that they are so shallow they literally can’t “see” past a person’s appearance. Perhaps women who are naturally gorgeous don’t realize this because men truly have appreciated them or felt lucky (for a time) because of their appearance. I’ve never experie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 10:47 AM
54

Bless you for doing the dirty work/research. I saw that thread title and thought, “nope, I’m in a good mood today and I’d like to keep it that way” lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 03:03 AM
26

I always used to believe some guy would come out of nowhere and really see me for me and notice all my quirks and individuality and love every little thing that makes me special and truly believe I’m more beautiful than everyone else. (I legitimately have felt this way about my partners, so fuck me for expecting the same I guess) LOL. 99.99999999% of men don’t think like this. We are interchangeable to them as long as we have working parts. And they’re all attracted to a very, very narrow defini…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 11:03 PM
188

You just know he had every intention of putting the ketchup bottle back in the kitchen afterward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 10:55 PM
34

I went through the same experience. I had to be at a bus stop with six boys. They would throw rocks at me and broke my tooth one time. I was too embarrassed to tell my mom the truth. They’d run to the road when I was riding my bike and put sticks in my spokes. I should have realized by age 10 that anyone with a penis is complete trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 10:48 PM
65

All men. All fucking men. Thanks for my hourly reminder to avoid interacting with them at all costs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 10:45 PM
30

If you’re a man who watches porn or follows nsfw pages or OF, I am smarter than you. I am happier, kinder, cooler, and a more productive member of society. I don’t even need to meet you to know I’m better than you. Every single woman in this subreddit is a superior human being to you. You’re weak-willed, pathetic, and easily manipulated. Die mad and horny, loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 04:50 PM
47

They want to feel like they tricked us into doing something we didn’t want to do. If we want to have sex, then they can’t feel like they “won” something. Their ego is dependent on our initial resistance. It’s fucked up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 04:47 PM
3

Exactly. And LVM will absolutely date and even marry women who don’t fit this description (because sex), but they’ll always secretly feel like they’re “settling” and resent their partner. I actually hate them lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 02:52 PM
10

Most women have a celebrity crush phase or were brainwashed by Disney or unhealthily obsessed with Twilight at a formative age (speaking from experience), but then we grew up. We understand that movies aren’t real and prince charming doesn’t exist. These pathetic, delusional, painfully average, cookie cutter men putting no effort into their appearance still think they alllll deserve a woman who looks like a suicide girl/instagram model/“girl next door” celebrity at the very least. Oh yeah and sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 11:38 PM
3

Holy shit, that’s terrible. I understand why you would still remember that. Some people should not have or even be around children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 11:24 PM
23

I aim to achieve this level of self-assurance and independence while in a relationship. I was such a “keepme,” I couldn’t imagine why anyone would refuse a proposal. 🙄 It sounds like you have a really healthy mindset and supportive partner — congrats on landing your dream job as well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 11:15 PM
32

I ended things with a guy I went on a few dates with pre-pandemic because he was wishy washy and I even told him that (before FDS). That was actually the first time I’d walked away from a guy for not expressing interest adequately. He’s reached out to me three times in the last year. He later apologized for turning ME down for a walk date and I said, “I think you made the right choice.” He didn’t respond lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 11:02 PM
14

If every man who wasn’t that into me immediately blocked and deleted, my life would have a been A LOT fucking easier. Manipulative, dishonest shitheads. Sorry this post got me fired up lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 10:36 PM
1

Thank you for the kind offer! You’re welcome to reach out to me anytime as well. It’s so comforting to find other survivors. We’re all smarter and stronger for our experiences and one way or another, we’re gunna figure out a way to avoid LVM going forward!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 10:03 PM
142

Before FDS, I didn’t know other women were going through this. My ex had convinced me that I had borderline personality disorder when it was actually cPTSD from all the trauma men have put me through. I truly, from the bottom of my heart, did not think other women were having these experiences. I blamed myself. I called myself crazy. I put myself down. I was in such a dark place and had such a tenuous grasp on my reality due to gaslighting, I’m not sure I would have survived the last year withou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 08:50 PM
77

I still think about an OLD profile I saw that said “obviously not on here to find love.” Why... wouldn’t you want love? Why would you prefer empty, meaningless sexual activity? Men are broken.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 08:47 PM
159

Even when I’ve been friends with groups of men, at least one is trying to sleep with me. It’s obvious, because he’ll be super duper overly nice and the rest of the guys just tolerate my presence. What great “friendship” we all had.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:40 PM
54

I enjoy PIV and have had sex with several experienced and skilled men with 8+ inch penises. Still can’t come from it. It feels good, but I’ve never even started to get the “building orgasm” feeling from it. It’s anatomical. I respect your opinion, but it kinda sounds like men who say we need the “RIGHT” dick to squirt or whatever. Nah, my body just doesn’t do that and no one’s magical dong is going to change it. Sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:35 AM
14

Personally, I think this is true. Every single man I’ve been with lied about who he was or how he felt to sleep with me. I’m not sure I’ve had any consensual sexual experiences because I didn’t know who I was having sex with. Almost every man pushed or broke boundaries that I clearly set. This post and your comment make me feel overwhelmingly sick with recognition. Unfortunately I’m pretty sure I’ll need extensive therapy before I’m ever able to have sex with a man again, but I’d rather just be …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:27 AM
38

So the other women he’s sleeping with or plans to sleep with come to the incorrect conclusion that he’s an adequate romantic partner or even semi-functional adult. Unfortunately he isn’t and the pickmes will fall for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:20 AM
4

I would say that’s something you have to answer for yourself. I feel very strongly about adopting vs procreating, in the way that some people vehemently support rescuing animals over buying from breeders, but I don’t impose my personal beliefs or expectations on other people. I get that having bio children is very much an ingrained part of our culture and some people don’t understand or want to examine why they feel the NEED to have a child with their genes specifically. I’m just hoping more peo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 10:45 AM
135

People take it way too lightly or just do it because “that’s what people do.” Especially men, since they know there isn’t any work actually required of them. I get that it’s our “biological imperative,” but one would assume we had evolved past such a mindless impulse. Plus, humans are having no problem populating the planet right now, so that’s not even really a good argument, and I’ve never seen a decent argument for having bio kids over adopting that isn’t entirely self serving. I’m not saying…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 08:53 PM
40

Exactly. I sporadically participate in beauty culture, but I’m not about to pretend that wearing makeup or obsessing over our skin or shaving our entire bodies is some kind of privilege women have that men don’t. All men are “allowed” to participate, but only women are expected to engage in these behaviors. Men can wear makeup whenever they want. They could use concealer at the very least and no one would be able to tell. Even if it were noticeable, who would have a problem with it? Oh that’s ri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 08:42 PM
12

They’re disgusting. I wish I had a stronger word or a word that would affect them. Honestly if one man reads my comments and feel ashamed, I’ll have done my job. I doubt they’ll change their behavior because they’re selfish, petulant children with zero self awareness. But they’ll get that little twinge in the pit of their stomach and they’ll realize: “I’m trash” before pushing that away and going to masturbate with nacho cheese as lube or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 10:52 AM
89

My 10 year old niece told the family a “joke” yesterday along the lines of “Google is a girl because she gives you her opinion before you’re even done talking” or something like that. I was absolutely horrified, but my family has shunned me repeatedly for being too “radical” (aka calling them on their bullshit). So I just left the room. I can’t say I’ll have as much self restraint the next time I hear something like that, though. 10 years old and already being taught to hate herself through “hum…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 10:17 PM
21

I caved and started wearing makeup in my late 20s because I realized that most women’s beauty is judged on how they look with makeup on. So many women don’t even show their bare faces in public, and here I was expecting to be considered beautiful with my dark circles and sparse eyebrows in full view — how dare I (heavy /s). It wasn’t even with the intention of attracting men; honestly I felt kinda bitter that I was perceived as less attractive despite my perfectly above average natural features,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 10:10 PM
99

That “hire someone to fuck but not to love” part was the point I started thinking (for the millionth time) that I’m not sure I could stand dating men again. Sometimes I look at men around me who seem sweet or normal and think, “I bet you jerk off to women getting choked every night.” Statistically, I’m likely right. Almost every man has this dark, depraved, pure trash section of his brain and behavior, but walk around acting like normal people. I don’t think I could ever risk dating them again, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 09:59 PM
66

Plus it’s not even a fantasy. They aren’t actually imagining something or using their brain power in any way. They’re just looking at women and material that make their dicks hard. If they had the ability to fantasize, they wouldn’t be dependent on porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 09:54 PM
16

She’s so separate from all of the other typical teen (or formerly teen) pop stars that I kinda forget to include her sometimes too! She made it through her 20s with her self respect and dignity intact. I wish I could say the same lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 07:10 PM
28

My ex-BIL, the lowest value man I personally know, pursued and won the right to have his girlfriend (whom he left my sister for) watch my niece by herself. He did this so he could pay less child support and not have to actually spend time with his child. Oh yeah, and in the past he went to jail for a DUI resulting in death and his girlfriend plead guilty to beating her own children. It sounds ridiculous, I wish I were making it up. It angers me to no end when men claim women have the advantage. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 05:22 PM
58

Same. It was about mutual enjoyment and building a connection. Gut wrenching to realize they all saw me as a fleshlight. It’s hard not to feel violated and dirty when I think of my past sexual encounters. I’m not sure I could ever trust a man enough to try again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 05:01 PM
35

Not saying she’s a radfem queen by any means and she very much conforms to traditional femininity, but I really don’t think Taylor Swift ever did this. Even her “rebellious” phase (Reputation) wasn’t very sexualized. The most risqué thing I’ve seen her wear is probably the bodysuit in Cats.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 03:22 PM
31

I’m embarrassed to say that despite being a decade older than she is, I actually thought Billie seemed mature and somewhat wise. It’s ironic that this move was an attempt to make her seem more grown up and self possessed, but it actually shows how young, naive, and eager to impress she is. The quotes from her make it obvious that she’s very insecure and think this will “shut up the haters” somehow. I do worry for her, but it’s extremely dangerous to encourage young women to get plastic surgery. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 02:04 PM
61

Men and pickmes. The amount of people in the radfem circle claiming they still support sex work and porn is annoyingly high. Libfem exists for a reason; don’t lump yourself in with us. e: maybe controversial, but I think anyone on Ovarit who is GC but doesn’t also radically support women are the actual transphobes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 01:36 PM
83

I truly believe we’re doing something revolutionary here. What other space is exclusive to women nowadays? I can’t think of any. We’re regaining our power and collective knowledge. The patriarchy has succeeded by isolating us and telling us individually, “it’s your fault, you’re being a woman wrong, you’re choosing bad men, expressing your boundaries is crazy,” etc Not anymore. It’s sad that the entire fabric of western society is threatened by women speaking to each other. We are so much more p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 10:29 PM
7

My thoughts exactly. “Logic and reasoning” aka minimizing her feelings and dismissing her concerns. Been there, done that, never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 08:47 PM
42

I didn’t realize until getting involved with this subreddit how much of a pickme I was with anyone in my life I was trying to impress. FDS has impacted several areas of my life and made me more self-assured in general. I used to have a strong personal identity and moral code in high school, but lost it along the way (I won’t say it’s entirely because of libfem, but...). All the amazing women on here helped me find that person again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 10:50 AM
44

Preach. I fully support men raising their standards. Unfortunately LV losers can’t stop themselves from using women for sex even if they have “high standards” for who they date or marry. I would get years of my life back if men didn’t pursue women they weren’t interested in. Ugh. Just buy a fleshlight and leave us alone, scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 04:01 AM
7

Ahh I probably don’t have a thick enough skin to live in the city! Even the traffic creeps bother me lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 10:16 PM
53

This is another thing I didn’t realize other women experienced! I hate feeling men’s eyes on me whenever I’m in public. Even when I’m at a stoplight, I’ll see them look over in my peripheral and if I don’t acknowledge them, they’ll rev their engines or keep moving up to get my attention. Everywhere we go, everything we do, men see us as prey. They’re always “on the hunt.” It’s exhausting. I wish I were invisible sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 09:46 PM
30

This is what they don’t understand. I’m not gunna go all “no fap” about it, but men are emasculating themselves. They always use the “caveman” argument to justify porn use, but uhh, I’m pretty sure cavemen weren’t jerking their little Allen wrenches into useless noodles to all the “cave paintings” every single night. Get this, guys: They were actually useful. They provided for women. They went out and accomplished shit instead of sitting in a dark room, rubbing their own dicks to images of women…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 09:42 PM
27

Somehow plainly stating what men openly do and say on a daily basis is an attack to them. Imagine being so fragile. I can’t believe I bought the lie that men are inherently “strong.” Ha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 06:09 PM
86

Exactly. No one is forcing men to buy anyone dinner, but if they can’t afford that, they should not be dating. What don’t they understand about it? Men think they’re automatically entitled to sex and a relationship regardless of their mental, physical, financial, or emotional state. Get your shit together before trying to get laid, and if you can’t get your shit together, stop whining about not getting laid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:07 PM
18

Same! Lately I’ve been thinking about all the hours and nights and cuddles I’ve missed with my dog for some heartless LVM. I’d rather just focus on my pets for the foreseeable future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 12:13 AM
28

If most men are good (eyeroll) they wouldn’t be so upset about FDS. We’re giving them an opportunity to prove that men are decent and instead they’re throwing tantrums. Most of them can’t even manage the bare minimum such as: stop lying, stop pushing boundaries, stop using women for sex, stop expecting women to do your chores, stop being selfish in bed, and don’t watch naked women being exploited and abused every night. Hey guys: if you think that’s too much to ask, it’s fine. You just happen to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 12:42 AM
45

MRA don’t care about women or seek to help us at all, but except feminists to constantly bring men into the conversation in order to be seen as valid and inclusive. I’m done. I don’t give a shit about “men’s rights” anymore. Since men created and continue to perpetuate every gender-related issue, only they have the power to make things better for everyone. Until they start trying to help us en masse, their collective “problems” aren’t my concern.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 12:18 AM
49

It’s appalling to realize that in situations where a healthy, kind person would empathize, LVM choose to exploit. How can they listen to someone sharing their pain and think, “hmm, how can I use this to my advantage?” This is another reason they share their “trauma,” so we feel compelled to open up as well and expose (what they see as) our weaknesses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 03:22 PM
178

Reminder that these tactics don’t work on them. Whatever your ex did to you, they know they can do it too. Never share trauma. Going forward, I will tell any guy I date (if I date) that every ex treated me like a queen so they better step TF up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 01:13 PM
96

I was just thinking this!! Men genuinely act like whispering and laughing at someone is equivalent to burning down their house, it’s ridiculous. Anything to make women seem more “evil” than men. Unfortunately for them, statistics exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 12:12 PM
6

When I was a kid, I was obsessed with getting to wear a crop top or tube top like the Spice Girls and Britney Spears. I didn’t even have interest in boys at the time. That’s what I truly wanted to wear for myself, but that didn’t automatically make it a safe, feminist, or empowering choice. My childhood self was already choosing clothing based on what adult men wanted me to wear and I had no idea. We are indoctrinated, from childhood, to sexualize ourselves. I personally believe certain choices …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 03:59 AM
25

Ugh it’s literally so easy for men to manipulate us — they just have to pretend to be a decent person who cares about what you’re saying — and most of them still can’t keep up the act long enough to get laid, then have the audacity to go on the internet and complain about how difficult they have it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 11:58 PM
18

Oooh have I got some stories about female friends. I actually had to make a throwaway relationship advice post in this similar vein years ago because a guy had gaslit me so badly about his roommate. It took hundreds of people telling me the situation wasn’t okay to believe it. Yikes. And yes. It was always me, my insecurity, my issues, etc. but I’d only ever be concerned about a specific woman that showed red flags. OTOH, I low key had a crush on my last boyfriend’s female best friend because sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 03:18 PM
94

Ugh the societal gaslighting really is the worst. LVX followed his little sister’s nsfw page promoting her OF and claimed it was in the name of supporting women. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:48 PM
20

I know choice feminism and gender performance have been a bit of a controversial subject here lately, but this is why I can’t help but roll my eyes a little when I see “feminist” tiktoks by women wearing pigtails and an extremely low cut top. Sooo are they unaware of the image they’re presenting or pretending we’re in a post-objectification society? Others have argued that dressing in the preferred style of the liberal patriarchy will entice men to watch the video and learn something, but as thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:24 PM
154

So many men normalize the idea of using their friends’ social media photos as porn too. I’ve actually been downvoted for calling it creepy before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:13 PM
13

Why do you think the Bible has to emphasize wives submitting to their husbands? Because that shit ain’t natural. Women are not meant to defer to men. They’ve been hiding our power for centuries, but we’re taking it back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 10:32 PM
43

Yes! I had to explain what OnlyFans was to my older therapist. How could they understand the darker implications of a practice if they don’t even know what it is? They think “porn” still means Skinemax flicks. Ohh no no no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 10:27 PM
29

I strongly recommend a bidet and a menstrual cup for every lady reading this. I swear by both. AMA. (jk)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 10:24 PM
30

“THIS is the bad place.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 10:20 PM
59

Yes! It’s not necessarily about how you look, but what men assume you think of yourself. They don’t want women to be too confident or proud of themselves. It’s such a weak and pathetic thing to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 03:59 PM
104

I found the part about men negging beautiful women and complimenting average women very interesting and informative. I’ve noticed this myself when I went back to OLD after losing ~70 pounds and generally improving my appearance. When I was “average,” almost every message was calling me beautiful or focusing on my appearance in some way. Now that I’m “above average” (but obviously not drop dead gorgeous), the compliments mysteriously stopped. Are most men secretly consuming PUA material? I had no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 02:27 PM
134

Same. I was a perfect little meek pickme sex doll extraordinaire, looking at him with stars in my eyes... and he physically abused me. Then the next guy pathologically lied to me. Then the next guy was obsessed with anime characters that look like children. Then the next guy, then the next guy... no matter how ugly, “nice,” or poor these men were, they were all manipulative or abusive or broken in some way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 10:28 AM
89

Being a HVM take years of unwriting internalized misogyny and going against a society that rewards men for being selfish jerks. Most men just don’t have the motivation to try. They can succeed and live the life of their dreams, all while hating, objectifying, and abusing women. There’s really only intrinsic benefit to being a HVM. So yeah, they’re very very rare if they do exist. (Never met one, so I can’t personally claim they do)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 10:22 AM
15

I still have an all caps “you’re so insecure” text from a LVX imprinted on my brain. This helps a little bit, though. I know he was emotionally abusive, I know that, but gas lighters are so good at making you question objective reality. The book Psychopath Free tackles this subject in depth and has a really great checklist in the intro with all the signs. So creepy how they all follow the same playbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 10:23 PM
75

offensive sex pests The classy way to say LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:44 PM
3

In the past six months, I’ve had men call me intimidating and conceited for the first time. I’ll take it as a sign that I’m doing something right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 01:31 PM
51

There was this guy who told me after our second or third date that he was only free during the week. Even in my pickme days I told him he was weird and walked away. I figured he probably had a second family or something (there were other signs that made sense in hindsight).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 08:09 PM
97

I’ve had a few men ask me to be exclusive and then just deactivate their accounts. Yeahhh, a pretty obvious glaring red flag in hindsight. If they aren’t even invested enough to make a new profile after you break up... yikes. My standards used to be painfully low.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 03:42 PM
2

The fact that my porn-addicted therapist LVX wanted us to go to couples therapy tells you all you need to know. He knew they would take his side, because it’s all a crock. Thank god I just left.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 08:51 PM
3

I don’t think the photo even looked bad, but it’s silly for Khloe to claim it’s not representative of her body. You can be that fit and also have cellulite, bumps, and rolls. I really don’t think anyone would have thought anything of the picture if she hadn’t made a big deal about it. I’d love to look like her, photoshopped or not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 04:51 PM
36

I looked into that subreddit against the warnings in another post here and it made me sick. It’s so disturbing to see the before pictures and wonder why seemingly normal, pretty, smart women would destroy themselves just so men have an easier time treating them like garbage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:57 PM
5

I’m good at deleting and never contacting exes after a break up, but I’ve had a bad habit of not blocking. Most of the time guys don’t reach out or I ignore them if they do, but my curiosity was too strong to eliminate the possibility. Finally I blocked my last two exes and honestly, it’s been a huge relief. It doesn’t matter if they miss me or reach out or regret what they did or want to tell me they’re sorry. It doesn’t matter even if they give me the opportunity to ignore or reject them. It d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:50 PM
9

Saaame. My brother is a bit older than I am and didn’t care or ask about any of my boyfriends, even the one who was physically abusive. My dad passed away when I was young, so the concept of an older man having my back against other guys was entirely foreign. I’ve had to become my own “big brother” just like the woman in the video.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:36 PM
52

It’s an automatic pass if a man asks for my sc or even has a sc. If a man has sc, someone is definitely sending him nudes and/or he’s asking for them. They keep every woman they’ve slept with or matched with from OLD on there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:29 PM
29

I’ve felt this way too. I’d be a lot happier with men if I were too stupid to understand what manipulative monsters they are. If I were stupid enough to trust someone implicitly and never go looking for hints that things aren’t right? I would absolutely be married now. If when men said, “don’t worry baby, she’s just a friend,” I believed them when all the signs are saying otherwise. Ignorance is bliss, but I’d rather be alone than be a Stepford Wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 01:01 PM
20

I’m bisexual and right now, I feel like I am too good for literally every man and not good enough for literally any woman. So ima be alone. But that’s the difference between me and men: I don’t want to put in the effort to date a woman, so I’m not going to waste her time. It’s that fucking simple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 12:57 PM
15

I’ve been trying to work up the courage to do this, but I chicken out every time. I don’t want to look at them. It makes me want to puke. But I know it’s the only potential way to get them to stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 12:52 PM
8

90% of the time when a new movie comes out: “WOW an emotionally stunted straight white guy dealing with daddy issues — SO INVENTIVE! We’ve never seen that before!” They really think every single man’s story is special and unique and needs to be told, when they’re all exactly the same in different packages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 12:49 PM
92

Same. I never fantasized about a man buying me purses or taking me on vacations or opening every door for me (though it is wonderful to want all of those things!). I just wanted that “flash forward montage” of two people painting a room together, laughing at the grocery store, one washing the dishes, one drying, singing while we do chores on Sunday, walking the dog on a summer evening, comforting each other during a bad day, leaving little notes to remind each other we care... and apparently tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 12:44 PM
65

Exactly. And the only way they “enjoy” it is if they’re straight up lying to the women and pretending they’re in a relationship to get the perks while having sex with 3 other people. They need us more than we need them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 12:37 PM
8

I think this post is the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. It hit me on a deep, angry level. Why are men so pathetically ignorant, pathologically self-centered, and painfully unaware? I’m never dating a man again. At this point, they actually disgust me, like worms baking in the sun. This comic is the kind of thing I would have laughed off in the past, “oh har har, men are such loveable buffoons.” No, I’m done. I’m about 2 decades past done. I’m an adult and I’m not giving these immature…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 12:33 PM
46

Strongly agree with all of this, but want to add watching porn as well. They’re imagining having sex with women who they know would NEVER say yes to them, so on some level they’re fantasizing about rape. ETA: and most men would never fantasize about their girlfriends and wives, who would actually consent
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 08:01 PM
6

Yes!! 100%. The Gift of Fear taught me that flash of confusion or “off” feeling is actually our brains noticing a million tiny little things we aren’t consciously perceiving. To add insult to injury, most of the time when you innocently bring it to their attention, they already have the script ready to go: “wElL aCtUaLlY I knew you’d get jealous if I mentioned a woman so I purposely didn’t say her name” which in and of itself is a huge red flag, so you’re put in a position where continuing the c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 02:03 PM
35

They’re so dumb. I have a loud intuition, but I can’t always understand it. So I’d notice the change in phrasing, but it took me awhile to catch on. If they just said their female friend’s name, I wouldn’t think anything of it. But they can’t resist giving themselves away by being evasive. 🚩🚩🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 12:29 AM
11

We want to date HVM and we’re disgusted by LVM. It’s not complicated. If you’re a man who is scared by FDS, it’s serving its purpose. We don’t want you. okay? Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:52 PM
88

Ever notice how men will call every single one of their male friends by name but not their female “friends,” especially the ones they have an inappropriate relationship with? If it’s a story about the boys, names are given freely. If it’s a story about a woman, all of a sudden he’s vague and will just say, “my friend.” Ugh. Scrote language.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:50 PM
47

It was really depressing to realize LVM don’t see us as unique individuals. As long as we’re performing our “roles,” we’re exchangeable to them. They just need someone to use for the reasons you listed and pretty much any woman will do. She stops performing or becomes too much of a hassle? Well, they know there’s another pickme around the corner ready to take her spot. Not like the women they’re dating are special to them in any way (though they tell every single woman she is). Sigh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 05:32 PM
33

I agree. It reads more “Instagram influencer fantasy” than feminist self care ritual. Not saying the things in this post can’t be concurrent with living a HV life, but it’s not necessarily a green flag. Pickmes make videos exactly like this all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 05:06 PM
10

Excellent point. I’ve caught myself “encouraging” this behavior with mom’s of sons. “Oh he’s such a little charmer!” Yeahhh that’s not a good thing and we should stop telling boys it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 08:06 PM
11

Looks like there was a limited series show being made about her as of May 2020. Not totally sure if it’s still in process, but that would be awesome! Gal Gadot is the star and EP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 07:42 PM
125

Sometimes it feels like men as a group are laughing and mocking us behind our backs, high-fiving each other that they actually tricked us into selling ourselves. How stupid must libfem, kink positive women look to them? I think about the “feminist” men I dated and what a huge joke my “empowerment” must have been for them. Men know it was never about empowerment. They’re laughing at us, dick in hand. There’s that old trope or stereotype that women “just let the men think they’re in control,” but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 06:57 PM
11

I try to be polite and encouraging when someone says they’re happy with their boyfriend, because hey, they’re probably happy, that’s great. But claiming he’s HV? Ehhh, I’m gunna need to see at least 5 years of receipts, sorry. (There really should be a minimum time/commitment limit on when we’re allowed to claim a man as HV, maybe 3 years with a marriage?)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 03:39 PM
11

Wow... I’ve been on here since I was 18 and it never occurred to me that I may have been groomed by the men of reddit. Between askmen type posts and relationship advice subs, constantly being told to lower my standards, don’t be controlling, women should make the first move, expecting the man to pay is regressive, it’s empowering to get naked for men, etc etc etc... I was brainwashed into sex positive pickmeism. Thank all the stars for FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 03:32 PM
41

Sometimes I worry that all semi-intelligent men are manipulative (and most of the dumbs one too). It seems like if they have the opportunity or power to control others, they always use it for personal gain. One of my biggest pickme mistakes was underestimating the “cleverness” of my boyfriends. They may have been idiots, but they knew what they were doing to me, that’s for damn sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 02:54 PM
16

This is a coded cry for help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 02:48 PM
87

This isn’t cute or funny at all. This is a psychologically horrific nightmare. Imagine just waking up one day in the body of a woman married to this guy. Terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 02:47 PM
35

She literally does everything in the house and he has the nerve to passive aggressively go into detail about how she lets the laundry sit after drying, then expects praise for putting it away sometimes. What an ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 02:10 PM
180

Hey, some animals WANT to be caged. /s It’s empowering because people pay to look at them, right? Camming is essentially the same as being a zoo animal, but the patrons also want to fuck you. How do SWIW people not see how stupid their line of reasoning is? errrggrgrhhggggggh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 01:44 PM
63

This is why I’m skeptical and worried when women in their late teens and early twenties are insisting friendships with men are totally cool and fine. Give it a few years and vet. Always vet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 11:21 AM
107

I’ve had very few boyfriends who understood how to have a normal, healthy, not-codependent relationship with their female friends, even if they weren’t outright attracted to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 11:15 AM
67

Your last paragraph is spot on. I have absolutely no use for a boyfriend or husband in my life, so unless he’s willing to figuratively move mountains to be with me, he’s a waste of my time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 08:42 PM
1

Do you know these people? Why are you so upset? Why are you attacking someone that you don’t know on the internet because I said I think a woman’s boyfriend is really into her? I’m just going to assume you’re a teenager and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 08:33 AM
-1

I was commenting on their levels of attractiveness. You need to calm all the way down, girl. Neither of us know these people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 09:48 PM
45

Yeah, bud. If you wanna get laid, you’re gunna have to do that. Don’t need sex? Stay home. Stop wasting our time. No one wants to date a loser who can’t plan a date. Also, if the woman who asked him out was soooo amazing, why didn’t it work out? Huh, interesting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 07:55 PM
7

I usually go for the “nice guy,” the quiet, shy, nerdy guy, etc. (just to illustrate that there isn’t only one type of man doing this) and every man I’ve dated has pressured me into sex. Every time I’ve had sex with a man for the first time, it’s been because he’s pushing my boundaries and pretending he doesn’t remember the multiple conversations we had about wanting to wait and I’ve already moved his hand away from my chest three times and I can tell he’s getting moody about it, he told me he’s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 04:37 PM
53

Then only a small percentage of the physically attractive dudes are high value as well, so it’s basically an impossible feat. I tried OLD dating again for 3 weeks and didn’t see one man I would even be excited to get a message from. I think I’m throwing in the towel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 03:51 PM
19

Daaamn, I’m not surprised, but that’s disappointing. His wife seems very sweet and could definitely do better in that case. He kinda comes off as this nerdy nice guy, so it took me a long time to notice his ego.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 07:30 PM
35

You’re so right! I always selfishly want a detailed breakdown of the entire relationship when this kind of thing happens so I can somehow, some way manage to avoid falling for a similar man. Also agree that the best people I know are women. They have the confidence to possess all positive traits, whether they are considered feminine or masculine. Whereas most men refuse to explore concepts like empathy, compassion, fashion, or hygiene too deeply, lest they seem “girly” and are mocked by other me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 05:37 PM
17

https://youtu.be/DhL-zTP5yIU I definitely don’t mean to imply he’s an abusive person or anything like that! He’s usually dry and somewhat sarcastic. Around the 47 minute mark, he jokes about getting a new cat to make his first cat, Newspaper, jealous. It was totally in jest, but Danny seemed to be surprised that people were calling him toxic, like being manipulative (though I know it was a joke) is a normal thing for him. Then around 1:39:30 after (spoilers) he lets Newspaper drown, everyone is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 04:22 PM
15

Yeah, especially when everything has changed in the last few years! It doesn’t seem like it’s gone to his head though. I can’t see him flirting with rando fans. I’m always wondering why she isn’t in his videos more often since she’s so gorgeous. I figure she’s camera shy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 01:59 PM
36

Side note, have you been watching he and/or Danny’s minecraft stream? I was cracking up when everyone was calling Danny a gaslighter and toxic during the Newspaper drama. It low key changed my opinion of him, like maybe he is a bit narcissistic. Kurtis is totally unproblematic as far as I’ve seen though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 01:56 PM
12

I get the vibes that he’s way more into his girlfriend than she is into him. I feel like she’d be more likely to cheat. Kurtis is attractive, but he’s probably a “nice guy” compared to the dudes in her DMs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 01:47 PM
12

I think it’s a bit too much of a coincidence that almost all of us have a terribly toxic ex that happened to find the woman “he really liked” and wanted to work for immediately after the break up. I don’t think it’s about his feelings or his new girlfriend. He doesn’t like her more. They are literally just rebounding and trying to look like decent people after we call them out. I also don’t think a HVM would ever stay with and use a woman he doesn’t have feelings for. If my “HV” husband told me,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 01:41 PM
11

This has happened to me fairly often as well. I’ve noticed men tend to date very fragile-looking or timid/meek women after they date me. Guess they realized they couldn’t handle a strong independent woman lol Embarrassingly enough, I was still creeping on some exes (I finally blocked all of them as of yesterday!) and one of them posted allllll these pictures of his new teenaged girlfriend (he’s 30) in the first six months after we broke up. You’d think this was the most in love man in the world.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 01:14 PM
47

Agreed on all points. You know, I’ve never seen comments such as, “Can’t wreck a happy home” when it’s about a woman cheating. But if a man cheats, there always must be a “good” reason for it (per reddit) or he justifies it in some way. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 10:50 PM
388

Hmm I’m pretty sure this isn’t set in FDS stone, but I’m in the camp that LVM never change (or at least not in six months post relationship). But explaining why you’re upset to them does make it easier to fake it with the next woman. He didn’t “change for the right person.” There’s nothing about the next woman that makes her more special than you. But of course I agree that we should never “teach” men how to treat us right. If they wanted to, they would. ETA: it seems like she’s saying, “break u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 09:31 PM
179

I don’t understand why LVM can’t just break up with us. This guy chose to poison his girlfriend instead of letting her go. Men: if you don’t like us, aren’t attracted to us, don’t respect us, don’t want to take care of us... LEAVE. I don’t need an explanation. Stop wasting our time and go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 10:21 AM
17

Lately when I watch romcoms in TV or movies, I can’t help but think, “In real life, this ‘prince charming’ would probably be following his former tinder matches on Instagram and watching anal BDSM porn every night.” On rare occasions, I’ve called men out who liken themselves to “good men” in media like Ron Swanson or Jim from The Office or Captain America. Oh really, Kyle? You think those guys are jerking their pathetic little worm to teenagers every night in their fictional universe? Yeah, okay…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 09:18 AM
32

She’s amazing!! I really enjoyed listening to her story. It’s outrageous that men have the nerve to call us paranoid for staying on guard when they’ve never experienced something like this. But of course, when we’re attacked, it’s still our fault somehow. Side note, did anyone happen to go to her page and watch the stitched tiktok she posted right before the one about her father (the same thumbnail as OP’s post)? I don’t want to post the username, but if anyone would like to see some serious pic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 08:54 AM
22

They want consistent emotional support from one woman while they fawn over and flirt with dozens of others. Must be nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 08:28 AM
17

The only man I’ve ever faked orgasms with had such a big ego, I didn’t think he could handle the truth. His entire world might crumble if I told him I only came a handful of times. He probably wouldn’t believe me lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 08:25 AM
3

Why would anyone want male attention that they aren’t explicitly seeking? I’ve never understood that, even when I was young. Please stop looking at me. Please don’t talk to me. I’m just a person trying to life their life ffs. So if not wearing makeup reduces that attention, perfect. Power to anyone who can handle the male gaze I guess, but hard pass for me when I’m randomly out in public.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 07:44 AM
7

It’s not her personal feelings against shaving that she’s fighting. It’s everyone else’s expectation. It’s not natural for women to shave. We are meant to have body hair. It’s even acceptable in certain countries as of today. But if this is the experience most women have when not shaving, how can anyone say that shaving is truly a choice? Like other comments have mentioned, it’s societal coercion. No one here is “ashamed” to shave. We just don’t want to and would have no problem with it if every…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 07:36 AM
20

I mean... my toys can give me a better orgasm than any man has, so the only thing they really have to offer me is an adequately sized phallic shaped device that I don’t have to move on my own. So... get better at sex and maybe we’ll care less about dick size. Maybe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 10:11 PM
38

I didn’t think it would be a dealbreaker in my pickme days, but I’m the type of person who cannot hide my facial expressions and I’m a terrible liar so I was always worried how’d I react in the moment. It’s really not fair. They get to know how big our boobs and ass are before even going on a date. They should disclose that shit before sex. If I had an anatomy that made PIV literally impossible, I would absolutely bring that up before tricking someone into getting naked with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 08:53 PM
74

I have been blessed to experience only average to above average penises and this may sound silly, but I think I have a dickdar. The two smallest men I was with just... seemed like they would have smaller penises lol so I wasn’t surprised. They were kinda dweeby and seemed scared to make a move. I dunno, big dick energy is a thing. They’re usually more confident and laidback. None of them ever referenced their penis or bragged about it. I was surprised by the size of one guy, but only because he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 07:34 PM
309

Oh, men on reddit regularly tout how totally okay it is to leave a woman if they’ve “let themselves go” or didn’t shed the baby weight. “sHe’S nOt ThE wOmAn I mArRiEd.” They can’t handle their same logic being turned on them. It’s getting old at this point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 07:02 PM
5

It’s terrible! I saw a comment similar to “it’s okay if you have an ass” and some poor women responded “Oh... :c” Noooo girl who cares what some loser on Reddit thinks??? But I can’t judge because I’ve been there. I used to read those threads and feel so relieved that men would still have sex with my small breasted, chubby, hip dip-having monstrosity of a body /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 04:14 PM
11

I have a similar experience in that it’s much easier for me to orgasm in the beginning due to the novelty and usually because I wait awhile between partners. Unfortunately I’ve only had one partner who was able to make it happen consistently, and that’s because he was very enthusiastic about it and assured me he enjoyed it and didn’t care how long it took. So I could relax and focus on the sensations instead of worrying about his experience. That could be part of it, too. I put myself first in t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 04:08 PM
25

Anecdotally, I went on birth control for the first time last year and during those several months, I chose the lowest value men I’ve ever dated. It helped my cramps and PMS, but it changed my personality and totally warped my judgement. Since stopping, I’ve barely had an interest in dating or sleeping with men. I personally wouldn’t try it again. I’ll stick to Midol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 01:22 PM
17

Based on the literal thousands of men I swiped through the past few weeks, I’m not sure I’m even attracted to them anymore. It might be tough for me to supplement a team of scrotes lol luckily I’m not invested in having bio children, so single for life it is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 11:06 AM
100

I used to give men a break on this and blame myself (which is bullshit) and would just offer to touch myself. It almost always upset them. They don’t want to put in the effort to make me orgasm, but don’t want their ego bruised by me doing it. So now they get one chance and if the first sexual encounter isn’t cunnilingus ending in an orgasm, block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 10:20 AM
12

Ugh. Have you seen one of the many threads asking how men feel about small boobs? It’s always written by a pickme or a man larping as woman, just so redditors can act like big strong heroes saying, “don’t worry ladies, we’ll have sex with literally anything with a pulse” like that’s cute and charming. Then all the pickmes fall all over themselves with gratitude that men would dare brave sexual encounters with a small-chested woman. 🙄 It’s so gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 10:03 AM
10

Exactly. If withholding a man’s orgasm is abuse, then withholding a woman’s orgasm is abuse. They need to pick a lane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 09:50 AM
18

Oh okay, thanks! It is really sad they’re all unhappy with their natural appearance and even worse that they encourage it in others. I think Kylie was a major influence for the young women seeking out Botox and fillers now. When I was a teen, cosmetic procedures and plastic surgery were considered kind of tacky, but now it’s “cool.” I dread the day it becomes expected.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 09:58 PM
26

I didn’t downvote you and I barely know anything about the Kardashians. But I was under the impression that Kourtney had the least amount of work done. Khloe, Kim, and Kylie on the other hand... no doubt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 09:36 PM
57

You are wise beyond your years. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I wish I knew all of this when I was your age. I would have avoided so much trauma. A man’s orgasm is NEVER more important than a woman’s safety or even her feelings. They make us feel guilty about this by whining that poor men are starved for “affection” (and don’t forget the obligatory accompanying suicide rate comment) They don’t want affection. They want to use and abuse us as a sex toy. If men were out here wanting deep, m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 09:31 PM
140

Women are allowed to say no to sex anytime, anywhere, any way, for any reason at all. What part of that is still confusing for people?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 07:38 PM
60

When I was in my late teens, I invested in an Xbox 360 and Call of Duty. (I can now admit this was entirely inspired by pickmeism) Somehow I formed this ragtag band of players involving a long time friend, a friend from school, a friend’s boyfriend, and some of his friends. None of them knew each other, but we ended up playing several nights a week. I was terrible. I brought down their score in every game. But they were all skilled, so it never bothered them and they were really supportive whene…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 07:20 PM
83

Yesterday I was walking my dog in a somewhat secluded prairie area near my house. I regularly looked over my shoulder and was making a mental note of which houses I could run to if need be. Also reminded myself that I shouldn’t do this at the same time every day or someone could track my routine. Just Woman Things™️ I guess
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 03:32 PM
55

But the odds aren’t 50/50. Statistically, it’s 6x more likely to be a man leaving, so that’s where I’d place my bet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 03:12 PM
43

This is what it comes down to for me. A man is guaranteed an orgasm during PIV. Women aren’t. It’s ridiculous that they feel entitled to blow job every time as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 12:59 PM
190

Wait. Some men have difficult childhoods and were never taught what cancer is. Did someone communicate what cancer was to him!?!? /s (excuse me while I retrieve my eyes in the back of my head)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 10:34 AM
33

Especially nowadays when so many poor men are the victims of “false” allegations, you’d think they’d be avoiding children like the plague. Interesting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 02:45 AM
67

Absolutely. I respect makeup as an art and there’s a difference between artistic makeup, theatre makeup, film makeup, and the “natural” look women feel obligated to obtain and maintain. I don’t mean to discredit makeup artists and others who have found a passion in the art. I think the point of this post and my comment is to emphasize the importance of closely examining the roots of the practice, along with every other modern beauty ritual women are expected to perform (though sometimes they don…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 02:39 AM
234

It’s important to explore the beauty myth in particular because women are almost solely affected by it, despite what LVM on Reddit want to claim about “male beauty standards.” There are many societal expectations we all face, but only women are expected to depilate their entire body from the eyebrows down and are considered ugly or frumpy or tired if they don’t wear makeup daily. Why? Why are men allowed to have dark circles? Why are men allowed to have acne and scars and wrinkles? Why are we, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:40 PM
4

Ugh, I truly believe most men don’t have the ability to fully appreciate women. I know so many interesting women with unique, complex personalities and rare, natural beauty who go completely unnoticed and undervalued by men because they don’t have dramatic proportions or layers of makeup on. The worst part is, many women blame themselves and start to believe they aren’t attractive, when the issue is that men don’t have the depth or nuance to see them clearly. We give men’s opinion so much power …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 10:38 PM
162

Joke’s on them, I’ve been the “man of the house” since I was a teen and am quite capable of taking the garbage out, mowing the lawn, and replacing the water cooler all by myself with my weak girl arms /s guess their skills are obsolete
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 09:55 PM
21

I’d settle for castration, physical or chemical. I’ll even let them choose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 06:34 PM
103

Why can’t I be wary of all men? It doesn’t hurt me at all. It doesn’t hurt them at all. Actually, it protects both of us (since false accusations are “so common”). Encouraging women to trust men easily only serves to benefit abusive men. HVM will understand why we’re cautious and taking things slowly. It’s either “not all men do that, get over it” or “all men do that, get over it,” whichever suits their purposes at the time. One of the last things I said to my therapist was “if all men watch por…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 06:30 PM
40

Even opening doors! It is the littlest, easiest thing a man can do to seem super chivalrous and considerate, but they act like it’s literal torture. A man has opened my car door maybe 3 times in my life and I still remember it clearly. The bar is in hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 05:39 PM
267

Oh, please. Most men lack basic life skills because their moms did everything for them and they just expect a woman to come along and fill that role.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 04:01 PM
103

I was appalled that they had the nerve to complain she wasn’t pretending to enjoy having some disgusting, sweaty, pathetic perv grunting on top of her. They’re horrible and the scariest part is you could explain this to them until they’re blue in the face and they’d never get it. They’d never see themselves as the horror movie villain they are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 03:47 PM
431

Hmm, I don’t know... he didn’t even hang up the coats lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 03:36 PM
209

Perhaps they start to secretly despise men and start viewing them as objects which hand over money. Hooooooooooly shit, the projection. This should be required reading for every woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 02:43 PM
10

I hold the controversial opinion that a woman doing anal is pickme behavior by default. We have a vagina. There’s literally no reason to use our asshole instead. It is solely for a man’s pleasure and pornsick brain. I don’t see any HVM having an obsession with something that can cause pain, discomfort, and lasting damage to the woman he loves, but hey, that’s just me. e: the reverse would be like a man putting on an XL strap-on that just kind of pushed up against his real penis in order to make …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 03:04 AM
14

Somehow I, a very generic white woman, have managed to date multiple men who are openly obsessed with Asian women. Pretty much every guy I dated before the age of 25. For awhile, I assumed it was all men and had a complex about it, tbh. Now I staunchly avoid anyone who watches anime and I’ve been mostly okay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 02:39 AM
21

Damn, I always forget about that. It’s the number one reason to criticize them for their chosen line of “work” imo. Even in sex worker testimonies, they’re never really ashamed or sad that their clients are overwhelmingly married or taken. In fact, I’d say some of them have a distinct smugness when discussing the matter. So yeah, any pickme that wants to brag or doesn’t feel bad about taking another woman’s man can fuck right off, regardless of profession.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 10:29 PM
40

Sex work isn’t sex or work. It’s curated, sponsored rape, virtually or otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 10:26 PM
98

The fact that literally any woman could make an OF account and become a sex worker right now means we have every right to comment on it. They turned all of us into commodities. Damn straight I’m going to criticize their choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 10:23 PM
18

I believe you have true intentions, but you can’t speak to what their motivations are, especially when you’re young and attractive. Men will wait years “investing” in a woman thinking that some day their hard work will pay off and they’ll hit the jackpot (sex). I, too, was friends with dozens of men in my late teens/early 20s, talking to them on a daily basis for years... wanna know how many stuck around? If you are actually benefiting from friendships with these men, do you. OP is just saying t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 10:16 PM
45

Absolutely. This is why men and women can’t be friends. “Friendship” to men is just a transaction like every other relationship in their life and they’re always doing the math to make sure they take more than they give.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 10:11 PM
42

This is why I can’t follow most of the makeup subreddits. Women downvoted because their blush doesn’t match their lipstick or their colors don’t match the season or whatever. But a dude with ragged eyeliner, lopsided eyebrows, and lip gloss? “Omg so amazing! You’re doing so well! Yas queen!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 08:47 PM
36

Exactly. All we need male allies to say is, “I understand and I’ll do better.” Their opinion on how the world “really” works from their extremely narrow and privileged perspective is completely useless in feminist spaces.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 08:44 PM
56

Both ask subreddits are terrible (obviously). I can’t think of a single askmen thread that didn’t make me sick to my stomach and never want to interact with a man again. They’re either horrifyingly revealing of how they really think about women or throwing a pity party about how difficult it is to be a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 08:41 PM
34

It sounds like you planned an amazing trip, especially having to book it a week in advance!! Men love to pretend they didn’t remember or are too incompetent to do something if women don’t constantly remind and explain things to them, but when we do remind them, we’re nagging. It’s a foolproof system where they never have to do any emotional labor or planning. How exhausting for everyone involved. I’m working on observing before giving as well! I’m trying to have a mentality of, “I know everythin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 11:28 AM
2

lmao that makes sense!! I genuinely believe I’ve lost my attraction to men, or at least 99.99999999999% of them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 06:17 PM
23

I wholeheartedly agree with all of this, but I want to emphasize the Snapchat and tiktok point. It’s an immediate swipe left if they mention sc anywhere. Men use these apps to look at women and talk to women. That’s it. If he has a Snapchat, I promise you he’s looking at nudes of at least one woman on a regular basis. If he has a tiktok, he’s watching “dance challenges” of potentially underaged girls. Honestly, if anyone can show proof of a man’s tiktok fyp that doesn’t have any half naked teena…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 03:50 PM
125

Omg this is so cringey and painful to read. This guy literally wouldn’t have noticed if she just straight up disappeared into thin air. But then she said, “sex?” in LVM language and his ears perked up like the dog he is. Wow, what an idiot. And I know, because I’ve been that idiot thanks to stupid fucking Reddit advice like this. Never pursue men. I’d put it on my headstone if I were getting buried. Please, please, please. I am begging every woman reading this. Don’t message first. Don’t ask the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 02:59 PM
125

A few comments on her tiktok are discussing how the crown in Tangled is an analogy for sex and Flynn was only in it for the crown, but fell in love. It makes sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 08:40 PM
114

Apparently my “kink” is roleplay because I’m only really turned on when men dress up and act like well-groomed, attentive, emotionally intelligent individuals who prioritize my orgasm. But you see, my kink is more of a “lifestyle,” so these guys gotta commit to the role all day, every day. And if they don’t, I’m justified to cheat on them because they’re not fulfilling my sexual needs, right? /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 07:24 PM
30

I completely agree! I think we just want a healthy, interdependent relationship. Unfortunately, LVM (most men) offer only two options: negligence or possessiveness, and nothing in between. You’re either their whore or their Madonna, pick one. Nuance is lost on them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 03:13 PM
17

The rest of it sounds like a typical LVM. I’ve dated that guy, several times, so I believe it. I just think it’s trolly to claim he was HV because of his money, since so many people assume that’s what FDS is about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 03:09 PM
61

That one line: “can be considered as a HVM because he earned more.” I don’t want to assume anything, but if it’s not a troll, then they haven’t been on here long. I’m pretty sure we all agree Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos are the lowest of low value. Money can’t fix an ugly, inconsiderate, pervy, selfish loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 02:59 PM
18

It hit me when I heard about the OF pyramid scheme and realized young women are the pimps and prostitutes now. The internet has become a giant brothel. Think about the children who are being born into this environment. They won’t even know a world where women aren’t proudly selling their bodies on the internet. This is the new normal. How could we come back from this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 01:29 PM
13

Maybe this is why rejection is so difficult for men. If a man rejects me, I think, “oh well, we just weren’t right for each other. I’m not his type.” etc. But LVM have been working on their act their entire lives. They’ve been studying and learning and practicing how to manipulate people. So when we reject them, it is personal. They failed at the one thing they’ve been “training” for since puberty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 01:17 PM
17

Ugh but I don’t want to wait to have sex with a guy to figure that out. This is why I’m leaning toward not dating again. Vetting is too much work. I don’t think I have the patience or energy to prepare for the worst for the rest of my life, and that seems like the best case scenario for a hetero relationship. Sigh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 01:12 PM
10

They’re basically emasculating themselves, based on their narrow definition of masculinity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 01:08 PM
32

My standards are high because I’m not desperately, pathetically trying to have sex with anyone who will take me. Plus, men have very high standards for a girlfriend or wife as well; the only difference is they’ll keep using other women for sex while they look for her. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 01:04 PM
52

I think misogyny is similar to racism in that men feel inferior to other men (because remember, everything is about “alphas” and “betas” with them), so they have to convince themselves that they’re superior to women just to make it through the day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 12:39 PM
105

It never really struck me how entitled, selfish, and childish that phrase is. I can’t believe I ever entertained it. They can’t cum with a condom?So? How is that my problem? They should probably see a doctor or something. It’s ridiculous they just expect to have unprotected sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 12:22 PM
19

I think you’re absolutely right. LVM have a preset “routine” that they pull with all women. They use the same lines, go on the same dates, manipulate them in the same way. They’ve perfected the art of being LV. Here’s the problem: it doesn’t work if we’ve already seen these moves and heard these lines. The tactics fail with older women who can see through their bullshit. So their only choice is to pursue younger women who haven’t experienced that particular song and dance before. If these men ac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 12:19 PM
9

I was just thinking about this. Another post on here was making me feel really angry and spiteful. My first thought was, “Men are so terrible. I’m... I’m never sleeping with them again!” I mean, the depressing truth is that my threat is literally on par with death for some men, but I have never once wanted to use or abuse men, despite all the terrible things they’ve done to me and the women in my life. I want them to leave me alone. I want to refuse them access to my emotional and sexual energy.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 11:20 PM
30

A guy asked me to slap him during sex once and I couldn’t do it. I didn’t even like him that much, just couldn’t bring myself to inflict physical harm on someone. Men who slap, choke, pull hair, etc. do so because they enjoy hurting women. Blame it on porn, blame it on their daddies, whatever. The fact of the matter is, they like to abuse women in the bedroom because they like to abuse women. Oh yeah, and that guy I refused to slap? Grabbed my neck multiple times after I explicitly told him not …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 10:37 PM
64

I used to think I couldn’t identify negging or didn’t know what it was. Now I realize men are almost constantly negging women. I see it everywhere. After accepting how petty and manipulative LVM are, so many things started making sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 10:26 PM
42

I still can’t believe adult men get jealous that their partner had sex with someone in the distant past, but think women should be totally comfortable with a man who pays to look at his friends and ex-girlfriends naked. Nope! Try again! Grow up, you Peter Pan Syndrome-ass perverts, or start investing in a sex doll. We’re not doing this anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 10:23 PM
40

This is my biggest issue with the way men date. They all say it: “it’s a numbers game.” It wouldn’t be if they just, you know, only pursued the women they were really interested in? It’s so cruel and pathetic that they’ll just use anyone for sex even if they have no feelings for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 06:33 PM
84

I feel so much love and compassion for all women since joining FDS. I’m not bitter toward pickmes or queens with super high standards. We’re all just doing our best to navigate a patriarchal and misogynistic world with the tools we were given. Even if a woman has traits I don’t personally admire, I can usually understand the struggle and motivations that led her to those choices. I work management in a field that pretty much requires intelligence and beauty to succeed. Most of the staff are earl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 02:36 PM
91

Visual representation of my 20s lol. Only a few months left, can’t wait to see it go! 30, thrifting, and thriving. (Not planning to do much flirting, so I took creative liberties) 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 05:43 PM
5

Absolutely. Years ago, I read an article from the POV of people who had lost a child after forgetting they were in the car. It happens to people who aren’t negligent, who would never let their baby roll off a bed. (That article is in my top ten reasons why I don’t want kids.) So I definitely couldn’t trust someone like this with my child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 05:39 PM
82

Honestly this could be a variation of ruining the clothes when asked to do laundry, breaking a glass when forced to do dishes, etc. I believe this man may be so lazy, cruel, and passive aggressive that he is willing to drop his child or let her fall just so he doesn’t have to “babysit” anymore. A year ago, that thought would have never occurred to me. After everything I’ve seen on FDS? Just another day in LVM world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 11:04 AM
18

She unfortunately perpetuates the myth that you can make a man fall in love with you by being really good at sex. Lmao yeah, no. Not true. Not at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 02:47 PM
15

Exactly!!! We need to stop compromising. Keep this same attitude with men. They don’t meet any of our standards? Bye, sorry, my way or the highway, I can’t change. Just say: “I mean, FDS is something that I definitely do. It’s not like I’m on it every second of the day, but yeah it’s something that I definitely do.” That speech made me so angry. LVM are children. What an absolute fucking idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 10:44 AM
18

LVX posted this somewhat personal/intimate artwork I had made him. No reference to me personally, but it was clearly drawn by a woman in a romantic sense. I saw it and was kinda surprised and a little uncomfortable. When I expressed that to him, he got all grumpy and took it down. Never posted about me again. (The running theme of this relationship was punishment. Any “wrong” move I made was punished with silence or other forms of emotional abuse.) Later on, I learned he was only posting it to g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 06:59 PM
32

It’s frightening to realize how many men are playing a character in their everyday lives. They’re too insecure and flawed to be their authentic selves, but they’re too egotistical to accept they need help and actually try to get better. They act like helpless victims of circumstance who have to manipulate other people. That’s the narrative: “we have to lie because women won’t accept us (read: sleep with us) for who we are and that is somehow women’s fault and does not reflect poorly on us in any…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 04:51 PM
14

This has been my OLD strategy and it’s amazing! I have so many options and it’s overwhelming for an introvert, so I’m pretty much looking for reasons to unmatch. The moment I have to think about my response or struggle to keep the conversation going, I just unmatch or rather, ~deselect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 01:25 PM
80

Except without the muscles or the hair or the skills or the affluence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 09:20 PM
83

You already had access to his Instagram and he was still doing this because he thought he could hide it. I promise you he’ll clean up his emails and bank statements before you look. He has proven that he’s not trustworthy. Please believe it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 09:02 PM
65

Ugh this is what has my stomach in knots when I think of past relationships. They knew exactly what they were doing. There I was, discussing and communicating and rationalizing and pulling my hair out, all the while they’re smugly watching me flounder, knowing they’re the ones who caused the distress. I’ve hand waved things away as inconsiderate or ignorant, but realizing they were actively trying to upset and confuse me makes it so much worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 08:21 PM
20

It’s so messed up. When men express vulnerability to me, I want to help them heal and be stronger. I want to encourage and reassure them. When we express vulnerability to LVM, they see a tool, something they can use to get what they want. I pride myself on honesty, but protecting my mental health and grasp on reality is more important. Going forward, as far as any man will know, I have a superhumanly high self esteem and every person I’ve dated has treated me like a queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 06:06 PM
77

Exactly. Most men swipe right on everyone. I only swipe right on people I want to have a conversation with. My intentions are clear; theirs are not. So I will absolutely not message first. Any man who doesn’t think I’m interesting or attractive enough to message first (and yes, I have plenty of personal details in my profile) isn’t worth my time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 05:56 PM
37

I just got permabanned the other day for pointing out that a “not all men” comment is unhelpful. I didn’t even say, “Ugh. This is why men shouldn’t be allowed in feminist spaces,” though I really wanted to!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 05:53 PM
30

Yes!! Sometimes it feels like I’ve put on glasses for the first time and can see these men in all of their horrifying detail. The glass has broken. There’s no more mysterious aura around men anymore. I know their heads are most likely filled with porn, video games/sports, and social media.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 07:04 AM
33

Absolutely. We’re searching for the “deep down” that society has always told us is there with men if we just keep giving and trying and communicating. I’m not an archaeologist. If men are good “deep down,” they need to start showing that shit on the surface. Until then, hard pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 07:01 AM
44

I went through substance abuse counseling and learned that many people are alcoholics by definition and have no idea. It’s really uncomfortable now to see people brag about being hungover or blacking out every weekend or as if they don’t have a substance problem. It’s not anyone’s fault though; binge drinking is dangerously normalized in certain societies (especially in America during college).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 09:08 PM
3

Thank you!! It’s so easy to see from the outside with family, friends, and coworkers who are women that they have no good reason to be crying over any man, much less losers like our exes, but it’s difficult to turn that wisdom on ourselves!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 05:17 PM
191

LVM are so weird and petty. Side note, I’ve noticed this behavior while driving and it kind of makes sense now if the drivers are LVM lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 05:08 PM
17

Thank you for my new phone wallpaper!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 05:06 PM
81

It’s hilarious to me because I’ve gotten that compliment more in the last year or two than when I was younger. Actually, my first boyfriend when I was 17 and a virgin negged me about how his ex was tighter, and then at 30, men are “amazed” at how tight I am. Guess I have Benjamin Button pussy or something. (Kidding, I know they’re just idiots) e: sometimes I have to reeeeeally resist saying, “that’s weird, cuz the last guy was way bigger than you” lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 12:08 PM
37

I know exactly how much I bring to the table and have given to LVM in the past. I’m an amazing partner, as are most of the women on here, I’m sure. So unless a guy proves he’s gunna bring that same energy, he doesn’t get the girlfriend perks. It’s that simple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 01:20 AM
25

Was still obsessed with/stalking multiple ex-girlfriends who wanted nothing to do with him. Would use threats of suicide for attention and then mock me when I took them seriously. Blamed everyone else for his problems, complained about the same shit every day for hours, and refused to seek professional help. (Just dumped everything on me) Was selfish and lazy. Put very minimal effort into making sex enjoyable for me, ignored me for hours when he had a bad day (every day), and never took me on an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 10:11 PM
86

I didn’t know this was a thing until watching Promising Young Woman. A defense attorney explains how one compromising social media photo of the victim could sway a case in the rapist’s favor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 09:56 PM
30

Wow, I can’t believe it’s happened to someone else. That’s comforting to know. I was only a mile from home and my mom had offered to take me and pick me up. I have no idea why I didn’t call her; I always do, even if I’m far away. I’ll consider reporting, but I don’t even know what his real name was. I probably couldn’t pick him out of a line up. Maybe I have the texts saved on my old phone. I still feel so much shame about the DUI and it’s probably mixed with the trauma of that night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 09:33 PM
26

Thank you so much. It’s such a relief to talk about it and know I’m not alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 09:30 PM
111

TW I’m pretty sure I was date raped but I don’t remember. When I got there, I said hi and confirmed his name. He said that wasn’t his name, I must have remembered wrong, how embarrassing for me. I should have left then. I knew, deep down, something was wrong. I don’t misremember names. I remember drinking one beer and was given a free shot by the bartender. Maybe that’s when it happened, I don’t know. I blacked out soon after that. I remember being in a car with him outside of the restaurant. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:09 PM
188

Have they tried being attractive? Or you know, putting in 1% of the effort most women put into their appearance on a daily basis?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 06:41 PM
21

Exactly. They’re not evil masterminds. They’re just further abusing insecure women who have likely already been traumatized. They’re sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists, whatever term is preferable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 03:52 PM
9

LVM are the original self aware wolves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 03:49 PM
16

It’s scary how men (boys, really) are brainwashed and programmed from a young age into thinking that’s what sex is. Porn teaches them the woman’s experience doesn’t matter. They don’t need to be aware of her body language or if she’s enjoying herself. She’s just there for his use.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 03:48 PM
18

I really wish I knew how many men were using this on me and how many were just natural born assholes. I’m not sure which is worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 03:09 PM
73

One could argue that statistically, the more men you invite into your inner circle, the more likely you are to be assaulted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 03:00 PM
7

There should really be more free and affordable women’s self defense courses available. Last time I checked, the resources around me were pretty pricey. Perhaps there is good information to find on YouTube while I save up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:23 AM
34

This is so true and kinda funny. We’re unionizing. This may be the largest community of women in history whose discussions aren’t being constantly disrupted by LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:20 AM
26

Something about this post really hit me deep. Happily ever after isn’t a thing. My parents were very much in love and separated by death, but at least my mom knows, or gets to believe, she had true love. I’ve always understood death could do us part, so to speak. The idea of someone just up and leaving to be single after decades together is what finally sunk in. If it’s a mutual decision or the relationship is unhealthy, totally understandable. But marriage, to me, is choosing your family. The “…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:12 AM
11

Libfem ideals may work in a perfect world where men don’t take advantage of us and our generosity. Men resisted libfem for awhile, until they realized they could use it to use us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:00 AM
13

It honestly makes it worse and a million times weirder to me. It’s baffling that they think it helps the situation. So they’re not even doing it for release or as a means to an end, just for entertainment? LVM: what’s wrong with you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 07:54 AM
14

Exaaaactly. Notice how he’s still a “devil,” but he’s ripped off his horns to trick her. Classic LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 07:46 AM
4

I’m so excited the top comment was about flexi-leads. After working with dogs for years, that was my takeaway as well. It all made sense when I read that and I felt angry on OP’s behalf. I can’t stand when people won’t admit their dogs are aggressive and don’t take proper responsibility. My worst experience was being lunged at by a dog in a muzzle while at work. I asked the owner (a man, surprise surprise) if the dog was aggressive and he said no, I asked about the muzzle and he said it was for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 07:43 AM
56

I’ve watched porn once in the last six months or so and it was horrifying. I came across a video that did not seem consensual at all. I have no idea if it’s always been this way and I’m just noticing it now, but I feel sick to my stomach even thinking about trying to watch it again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 06:19 AM
7

I don’t know, but she wrote me a very kind and inspirational message so unless the mods have some insider knowledge I don’t, I’d like to formally request (as a newbie myself, very official) she’s switched to a newbie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 06:15 AM
20

I’m really touched by your compassion. We could all use a frequent reminder to love ourselves and appreciate our own beauty, in this moment and every day. Thank you so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 10:09 PM
192

Are you suggesting we apply the same set of standards to boys that we do to girls? That’s preposterous! (heavy /s)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:14 PM
27

This is it. I don’t respect men who prioritize porn that much. I think they’re gross little slimy teenagers. I’ve had one guy choose Reddit porn over me and another chose one singular nsfw Instagram account of a woman he claims not to know. Like... he could have just followed her on a different account, but the “principle” of being “allowed” to jerk off to his goth queen was more important. Absolutely pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:10 PM
49

I’ve only ever been a consolation prize, a placeholder, a time killer, etc. I’ve felt this way with every single guy I’ve dated. They don’t feel lucky to be with me. They don’t have romantic notions about me. They aren’t planning our future together. They don’t think I’m special and wonderful and unique, the way I thought about them. I was just a body to have sex with and maybe show off to their friends to prove they can totally get laid if they want. At best, I was a therapist. I know this is n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 05:49 PM
65

It looks really goofy when you pretend male gaze isn’t a thing. It’s almost like an optical illusion where I can only see it clearly for a few seconds and then it disappears.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 10:14 AM
93

I personally haven’t seen a good argument on why having casual sex with men is worth it. It’s not. If one would like to admit she’s still struggling with seeking male validation and comfort, I get that. But I don’t think the attitude of “I can use a man just as much as he can use me” is aligned with FDS. It’s not true. He’s always taking more than he’s giving in a casual situation. Always.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 10:07 AM
27

This is a very good standard to have. Shame I’ll never see a dick again, though. (Only kinda joking)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 10:04 AM
8

Wow I think we may be the same person or dated the same guy, this is so relatable! Unfortunately I had a bad habit of making up good intentions for the LVM who cruelly saw me as a placeholder, a time killer, maybe a trophy at best. Really happy these losers are in our past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 02:26 AM
18

I remember the first time I noticed “feet” would autofill in google when searching a famous woman. For so long, I refused to believe it was a fetish thing. I was like, “Nope, there’s no way men are that gross. Maybe it has something to do with shoes and fashion or something.” Oh what a sweet summer child I was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 10:27 PM
40

Wowww you just helped me make a connection. LVX was obsessed with his own death and being forgotten; he’s now dating a teenager. It works in every scenario.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 10:24 PM
38

Rambling rant ahead. Before FDS, I had rarely broken up with someone because I’d cOmMuNiCaTe until they got sick of me trying. There are things I’ve said and done to keep LVM in my life that I could never share here. I can barely think about it myself, it’s so embarrassing. I struggled a lot with the anti-porn stance, went through some cognitive dissonance because I loved FDS more and more, but didn’t want to limit my dating pool by raising my standards. Finally, I broke up with my porn addicted…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 10:19 PM
86

I cannot understand why they’re so upset about a group of women discussing their dating standards. It’s wild. I’m pretty sure most of the women here, myself included, found this sub through a negative discussion about it. If LVM and pickmes had stopped whining about how a group of women they don’t know choose to live their lives, no one would even know FDS exists. We aren’t spreading lies about men. We’re sharing our true experiences that resonate with thousands of other women. If they think our…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 09:42 PM
85

Whenever a man says something about a woman, he’s really telling on himself. Projecting, always projecting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 09:24 PM
69

Yeah, I’m sure if I let some people see my room in its natural state when I was deeply depressed, they’d be writing a comment about me right now. It’s hard to care about your living environment when you don’t really care about staying alive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 09:20 PM
98

I was seeing two male relationship therapists last year (one personally, one professionally). Luckily I was smart enough not to tell my therapist that my partner was also a therapist, but they still sang the same tune. I think it’s because their job is to keep people together and men don’t change so the only way to fix the problem is through the woman. That’s my best guess. Plus, if they acknowledge faults in their male clients, they’d have to acknowledge those faults in themselves. So they just…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 08:08 PM
30

I’m so grateful I escaped. I left the libfem community (due to the contradictory, self righteous, sanctimonious attitude of my former “friends”) before finding radfem and FDS, but once I did, it was like coming home. Feminism that actually focuses on women? Sign me up! Never going back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 08:02 PM
59

I saw a comment from a woman describing us as angry misandrists, something along those lines. I don’t know, it just bothered me more that a woman was saying it. She seemed young and very “not like other girls.” I couldn’t resist making a sarcastic comment about getting picked. I didn’t check the votes, but I’m sure it was in the deep negatives lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 07:57 PM
34

This is why I didn’t understand their standards for so long. They don’t take care of themselves — why would they notice or prefer women who do? They don’t do their hair or makeup or style their outfits every day, but still have the audacity to want a woman who does. It’s exhausting and ridiculous. e: I remember a post from someone on here who said an ex criticized her for leaving the house without straightening or curling her hair. As someone who used heat styling products about 5 times in my 20…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 07:44 PM
11

Yup. I’d be totally fine going the rest of my life without sex, but I could have sex every day for the rest of my life if I wanted to. Cry about it, scrote lurkers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 07:40 PM
57

Exactly. It’s getting to the point where simply wanting a monogamous relationship will be seen as “controlling.” But they’re starting by trying to redefine what monogamy means. It’s gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 05:48 PM
88

This is my new favorite movie, I’ve seen it three times. It’s a very cathartic experience. I know we aren’t necessarily supposed to look up to her, but I kind of do. She’s empowering to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 02:05 PM
4

I’ve learned this from experience. I used to pay for everything in relationships and flaunt how “not materialistic” (read: pick me) I was. The more I level up and achieve personal success and enlightenment, the less a man can offer me. I dated a therapist who had a lower EQ than I do, so I’m not really hopeful in that department. I’m pretty “take it or leave it” when it comes to sex and it’s rare to find a man who’s actually decent in bed. So if he isn’t finding a way to “provide” in some way, I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 02:02 PM
25

I mentioned this to my mom when we were planning to stay in an Airbnb or just a smaller B&B type place. Glad to know I wasn’t being paranoid, but disturbed to know I should have been more paranoid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 01:57 PM
25

The fact that many supposedly straight men aren’t attracted to, or possibly even repulsed by, adult women is such a harrowing truth. They’re not pedos! /s They just don’t like women with cellulite, stretch marks, body hair, saggy breasts, wrinkles, gray hair, high confidence, maturity, shrewdness (I mean it does have shrew in the word, it’s right there), independence. They swoon in horror at the mention of menstruation or public breastfeeding or (gasp) women’s bowel movements. So they find adult…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 01:50 PM
15

There may be women who can “only orgasm from anal,” but it’s definitely not as numerous as Reddit scrotes would have you believe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 12:18 PM
17

That’s all the proof you need that TwoX is not at all for people with two Xs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 12:16 PM
27

it’s menwritingwomen but irl
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 12:15 PM
5

Yeah I’m giving it the rest of the month and then signing off for another year at least. Men seem much less appealing in general since joining FDS (really considering that I may have been compulsory heterosexual). While I’d love to have a life companion I can rely on, I’m not sure it needs to be romantic and I’d rather it not be a man at this point. After all the things I’ve seen self proclaimed “good guys” say about women, even about their own partners, I don’t know if I could trust again. So m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 02:59 AM
20

I think about this too! How the societal norm is to force together two people who have been born and raised to have absolutely nothing in common, share no values, and be unable to see the world in the same way. Men and women are socialized to be inherently at odds and we’re just fed the lie that “opposites attract”. It’s wild.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 12:10 AM
17

What got me was the phrase “undeserved high self esteem.” The fact that some men think women don’t even deserve to feel good about themselves (unless they look a certain way) is fucked up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 09:28 PM
6

You’re so right, it truly does!! We are allowing men to reach their full potential instead of accepting bare minimum. They’ll be happier too. Everyone benefits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 09:12 PM
40

I went back to OLD a couple weeks ago and paid to see likes because I’m not wasting my time swiping for hours. My swiping standards are: seems to take care of themselves, not (openly) looking for hookups, and appears friendly. I swiped right on 1% of the men who swiped right on me. Literally. Out of 100 men who liked me, I would match with 1. Maybe 1/5 of those guys have messaged me and so far, none of the messages have been impressive or interesting. It’s a total waste of time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 05:15 PM
21

I’ve known so many men who were lost, unfulfilled, empty, and broken. They just blindly follow their transient desires, doing whatever it takes to get the next “thing” they want, whether that’s sex, drugs, video games, fan merch, cars, etc. I wish these men realized working to become a HV person is rewarding in and of itself. They don’t have to be a slave to their desires or an endorphin addict. They don’t need to obsess over women, positively or negatively. When you focus on being content with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:16 PM
92

I subconsciously believed the same as OP for so long but FDS finally helped me realize: Men are not the prize. Their opinions aren’t inherently valuable. Even if all men stop finding us attractive on our 30th birthdays: so what??? We’re still beautiful, compassionate, kind, and a million other things. Some man’s opinion doesn’t change that. The best reason for worrying about this is fertility, but we’ve all seen the state of modern “fatherhood” — women are likely better off adopting or getting a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 12:45 PM
42

Sometimes I can’t remember the last time I spoke to a man and it is glorious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 12:28 PM
11

lol I toooootally didn’t put that on a “relatable” playlist in 2020... heh. I’ve come a long way in a short while.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 09:25 PM
135

My karma is already 1/3 the size of my previous 8 year old account and I almost exclusively post in this sub. Guess the men of reddit don’t like what I have to say. I’m very flattered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 08:28 PM
221

For so long, I told myself “this is Reddit bias. ‘Real’ men aren’t like this.” I think my sanity depended on believing that. Don’t be fooled. The posts and comments on this site are from real men. These comments could be your friends, coworkers, brothers, dads, sons. They are telling us who they really are and we need to listen. Assuming a man (especially one who wants to sleep with you) has good intentions is dangerous. When a man says or does something that confuses me or doesn’t sit right wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 12:27 AM
28

It seems like LVM just want a permanent fixture at home that will consistently address their physical and emotional needs (maybe do all the chores and raise their kids too) while they continue living their own life, achieving their own dreams, pursuing their “dream girls,” etc. then trade in his wife for someone younger or easier if she dares to “let herself go” or speak up about his poor behavior. That’s happily ever after for LVM. I truly don’t think they see divorce as a failure either, espec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 12:16 AM
103

LVM will unload all of their emotional trauma, use it to manipulate us with guilt and sympathy, but then be disgusted if/when we express vulnerability or weakness in turn. Too many times I believed that since my partner was sharing his pain, I could share mine, only to be met with rejection and shame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 09:12 PM
31

I used to, back in my early 20s when I had literally been on 3 actual dates in my life. It was an “event” and I didn’t have a lot of those. Now I could get a first date every week (with a LVM, of course. Pass) so it’s not as special or exciting. Neither are the men, I’ve learned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 01:19 PM
42

I get so angry at the audacity of ugly men, men my friends and I wouldn’t even go on a date with, expecting no strings attached sex. I have stuck to block and delete so far, but sometimes it’s so difficult not to say, “why would any woman ever touch you without confirmed compensation?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 01:12 PM
79

This is one of those things that we need to accept is 100% done for male pleasure. Now, if I happen to find a HVM (lol) and we’ve dated for a long time and he’s consistently provided me with pleasure, I may go down on him. But it’s still only for the benefit of that man. It’s not “empowering” for me, it’s not “liberating” to have a dick in my mouth. I think the distinction is important.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 01:08 PM
28

Hey, if we have a semi-normal diet, average emotional intelligence, a somewhat defined sense of style, and a mostly clean living environment... we’re killing it compared to most men. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 01:05 PM
5

What option do we choose for reason why? I almost reported a comment, but wasn’t sure if “this sounds like a dude” is the same as “not following FDS rules.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 12:56 AM
11

I just can’t stand how entitled men have become with the easy availability of porn. Historically, the average working class man would be lucky to see one woman naked throughout his life. Now they think they just deserve, or worse, need to look at several different naked women on a daily basis to be satisfied. It’s not a necessity; it’s an addiction, plain and simple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 04:35 PM
59

The moment every single man agrees to wear a condom without whining like a little brat is the moment men are allowed to have a say in reproductive rights. It will never happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:26 PM
3

Seriously!! Apparently abandoning all morals, standards, and boundaries to keep one painfully average man in your life is having “high self esteem.” Whereas standing up for yourself, calling men out on their abusive behavior, and being happy while single is having “low self esteem.” 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:22 PM
2

I had to deal with my then-boyfriend’s porn addiction when we were 15 and 16. Unfortunately my choices have been downhill from there as I was brainwashed into thinking it’s okay. Who knew 16 year old me would know better than 26 year old me?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:20 PM
5

My LVX told me to make a Reddit post asking about his porn addiction. My exact words were, “You just said you use reddit for porn. Why would I ask a PORN site if they think PORN is okay?” JFC, they’re dumb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:18 PM
12

Men like to say wanting to fuck thousands of other women (“millions” according to my LVX) and “needing variety” is just a fantasy. But we’re not talking about getting our Hogwarts letter here (my personal fantasy). So what’s stopping these men from fulfilling their “fantasy?” The other women. That’s it. If a man is fantasizing about having sex with thousands of other women, he wants to have sex with thousands of other women. And if he could, he would. So it’s not a fantasy. More like an unattain…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:09 PM
11

This is so true. I used to feel so much personal conflict and confusion when I was trying to embrace FDS while holding onto my libfem ideologies (mostly 50/50 and porn is okay). But now I feel truly liberated. I’m holding to my standards and refuse to let anyone sway me. The knowledge that I will never again settle for an unsatisfying or potentially harmful relationship, even if that means never dating again, is so much safer, warmer, and happier than any relationship I’ve been in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:04 PM
7

Same!! I finally trust in myself and have stopped letting other people dictate my boundaries and expectations. Check the username. It’s the whole truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 01:55 PM
14

I get so angry at the audacity of ugly men expecting no strings attached sex. It takes all the self restraint I have not to tell them they aren’t attractive enough to be looking for hook ups. Genuinely, I’m trying to help. Do they not own a mirror? Are they purely seeking out blind women? Like, barely average scrotes that I wouldn’t even agree to a date with expect me to just get naked for them. 🤡🤡🤡🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 01:53 PM
7

I’m still stuck on the fact that she sent HIM money and bragged about that. Never in my pickme life... hooooo WHAT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 01:42 PM
18

Anyone who has experienced that “being backed into a corner” feeling or have had LVM make you feel crazy or like you’re the one with the problem, please look up reactive abuse. It’s not your fault. It’s not our fault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 01:40 PM
13

Dude, if it weren’t for FDS, I might have an OF account right now. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 01:38 PM
16

Just another, less common reason not to share your trauma with men!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 01:29 PM
25

This is somewhat tangential, but I personally find male artists who choose to exclusively work with young women suuuper creepy, but I’ve not heard the sentiment expressed elsewhere. I’m thinking of a specific photographer whose work is about 90% prepubescent girls doing the splits. I actually searched to see if anyone else remarked on it, but nope. Adult man exclusively working with half naked girls, editing their photos for hours alone, sure... nothing weird there. quick edit: like what if I, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 01:26 PM
36

Well as we all know, everything with LVM is projection. They don’t mean what they say, they just say things to manipulate others. So isn’t that what everyone else is doing? /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 01:03 PM
44

Exactly. I just love how this guy thought he was getting the easy way out by forcing a woman to bear his hell spawn. “Sweet, I get to be a dad! All the fun, none of the parenting!” Oops, sorry. You actually have to be a mom. Not quite such a party, huh? Idiot. I feel so bad for this child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 01:01 PM
153

Seriously. If any man wants to show proof that he pays 125% child support and was completely clear about not wanting the child before birth, I’ll literally eat my hat. I don’t have a hat, but I will buy a hat and go eat one. This is the case for the majority of single mothers and NONE of them are getting 125%. I will swear my life on it. Men will fight tooth and nail to keep every last cent from their child. This guy is living the sweet life compared to every single mother I know. It’s infuriati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 12:57 PM
14

You just wrinkled my brain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 12:53 PM
82

It’s really depressing that a man may be ostracized for standing up to abusive cp. This is why HVM are rare, because other men make it nearly impossible. It takes a mature, strong adult to enforce their values even if it means calling out, or losing, a friend. Unfortunately most men are neither strong nor mature.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 12:51 PM
35

On a scale of 1-10, how petty would it be to have this as one of my OLD profile pics?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 12:45 PM
1

The topic is debatable and that’s not necessarily an FDS stance. I respect drag as an art and have enjoyed drag shows back when shows were a thing. There are a spectrum of genders and personalities in the current drag scene. In some cases, cisgendered men are impersonating women and the portrayals aren’t always accurate or ideal. More like menwritingwomen kinda stuff (hypersexual, dramatic, etc). I don’t think it’s intentional or malicious on an individual level and the characters they play can …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 11:37 PM
13

Yes! She totally gives me former Cool Girl, current Boy Mom vibes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 10:19 AM
3

hahaha I just googled him and it looks like his tutorial was what I used to learn the dance 😂 so yes, that one. Five people have seen the footage and that probably won’t change lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 09:00 PM
3

I’m angry for you, sis. How can you treat someone like this? They’re sociopathic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:42 PM
11

I’ve said it a hundred times, I’ll say it a hundred more: men want women to pursue so they know who they can use for easy sex while continuing to look for the woman they actually want. That’s it. NEVER pursue. If they wanted to go out with you, they’d ask. Signed, a former idiot pickme who made the first move and planned dates for over a decade.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:31 PM
121

It really does feel like that, though. Men are raised to be predators and women are raised to be prey.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 12:28 PM
4

I was called conceited based on my OLD profile and the only thing I could even think that would be interpreted that way was saying I’d only date a guy who can cook, clean, and do his own laundry. They really think that’s asking too much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 12:19 PM
6

I had no idea at the time. I was staunchly against drugs and alcohol. But within a year of my abusive relationship ending, I was drinking and smoking weed almost every day. It took me 10 years to make the connection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 12:16 PM
13

One day, we may get to a point in society where women making the first move is viable. Today is not that day, because men have not evolved to that point yet. I’m gunna go out on a limb here and say even HVM may assume a woman is desperate or reeeeeally into him too soon if she makes the first move. That’s just where we are in society right now. Once men are able to grow past their small-mindedness, women will be able to make the first move.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 12:14 PM
3

I got to this point with a LVX, where I was “interrogating” him because I knew if I didn’t ask the exact right question, I would never get the truth. You don’t even want to know how many times I’ve tried to explain that lying by omission IS lying and they always play dumb. It’s exhausting and infuriating. It’s gaslighting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 12:00 PM
36

FYI, that song was also written by four men. One is billed above Cardi B and all four are billed above Megan. I love this song, I even learned the dance (lol), but it’s not my preferred female empowerment anthem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 11:52 AM
44

Exactly. There’s the real person and the person he’s pretending to be. That’s it. I used to attribute all this depth and complexity to men, when most of the time it’s just lying. It’s just being fake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 11:48 AM
6

There are a lot of behaviors that women would have never partook in without male gaze, male expectation, male influence guiding the way. We should all be more cognizant of that. And hell, if a woman does want to look hot and turn heads and make all the scrotes mad, good for her. But let’s be honest about our intentions and motivations, at least with ourselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 11:45 AM
15

Girl, preach. When I found reddit 10 years ago, I was in my not like other girls phase, but reading what real men actually think and do kept pushing me farther and farther away from pickmeism until... here I am! Other women didn’t radicalize me. Men did. By existing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 11:41 AM
5

With a hint of the ever present societal gaslighting. If this article title doesn’t sound like an argument with a LVM, I don’t know what does. The twisting of words to victimize themselves... so carefully perfected.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 11:37 AM
15

That “oh my god” pissed me off more than manbaby. He seriously got annoyed because a woman was standing up for herself and had the right to call someone out on their bad behavior. His “oh my god” was basically “ugh! This again? Why can’t women just shut up and accept abuse!?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 11:31 AM
30

He said just enough so she’ll know he’s threatening her life while maintaining plausible deniability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 11:28 AM
4

I pretty much don’t go anywhere other than FDS, because I always get angry, depressed, or start an argument. Before it was just here and 90DF subs, but even those are hard to stomach with all of the LVM defending other LVM. (If anyone is familiar — the Mike and Natalie situation makes my blood boil. His gaslighting and emotional abuse are so triggering.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 11:26 AM
57

The .0001% of men who are raped... almost exclusively by other men. They always seem to forget that part of the equation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 11:23 AM
302

I can’t imagine how mad I would be at myself if I was ever hurt because I chose a man’s feelings over my safety. Still, I would be torn on what to do in that situation. How to shed a lifetime of social conditioning to be nice and take care of others? Sigh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 11:22 AM
9

I find it concerning that your mom and some (supposedly) HVM on Instagram hold equal weight to the nearly 150K women on here (who, to be clear, are not just bitter sluts, per your mom) and the actual words of men. We don’t make this shit up. The only reason LVM posts are so prevalent is because LVM are prevalent. If you’re confused about that, maybe you should read the handbook again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 11:13 AM
6

Not to mention, the stereotypical mannerisms that many homosexual men adopt are basically a mockery of femininity. Don’t even get me started on the drag scene.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 07:34 PM
38

So he only respects other men, but still wants to use women as fleshlights. Cool. Cool cool cool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 10:32 AM
19

Most men hate women, but only some of them also want to fuck us. (Kidding but kind of not kidding)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 10:29 AM
52

I had this experience in my early 20s. A mutual acquaintance was extremely handsy and overly affectionate to people he didn’t really know (that night, me). I complained about it and my friends basically told me it’s okay and to get over it because he’s gay. Um, no. No one is allowed to touch me without my consent, regardless of their sexuality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 10:27 AM
96

Every single social issue that men face... is perpetrated by other men. Yes, men face challenges too. But women did not create those challenges. Even if we assume men and women are victimized on an equal basis, they still don’t victimize others on an equal basis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 07:34 PM
18

I used to let sex talk slide wayyy too often. I’m shocked I ever allowed it. It’s an immediate block and delete now. It is ridiculously disrespectful to bring up sex to a woman they haven’t even met. They don’t care if it scares her off or grosses her out... as long as there’s a chance they get laid. And god forbid they may have to share a meal with someone who isn’t going to sleep with them right away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 07:20 PM
28

Men can harp on all they want about “sexual empowerment” and how women like casual sex too, but they don’t really think that. Even if a woman truly does want casual sex, men don’t believe it. They still see it as taking something from us, they still see it as “conquering” us, they feel a sense of accomplishment when they “trick” us into sleeping with them (even if it was our choice). Back when I was “sexually empowered,” it was my choice to have sex, but those men were still using me as a fleshl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 05:53 PM
32

I was just called conceited because of my standards. After years of being painfully insecure, I’ll take it! I think that means I’ve finally arrived lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 04:13 PM
3

Then you have women still posting on here and the ask sub about casual sex... sis, we shouldn’t even be having casual hugs right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 03:38 PM
6

I hate male attention when I’m just trying to live my life and get pretty angry if they stare or say something to me. But the other day a seemingly polite younger man (too young for me) working at a convenience store complimented my eyeshadow blending! That was it. Didn’t try to hit on me or ask me out. I was pleasantly surprised because 1. Most men are completely oblivious when it comes to makeup and 2. I’ve been really focusing on upping my eyeshadow game lately lol There are about a million n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 03:34 PM
3

You’re so right. LVM only change their behavior to avoid consequences. They can totally live with us being hurt in silence. It’s only when we speak up and inconvenience them that our pain matters. Even then, they usually just lie instead of actually doing better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 03:17 PM
8

I keep reminding myself of this. Men don’t stop to wonder what a woman’s intentions were or try to “talk it out” if someone hurts them... they just walk. We should do the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 03:15 PM
8

My personal brand of LVM only liked to use this argument when I “messed up.” If I called them out on their behavior, all of a sudden it was, “I was going to do this this and this, but now that you’re mad I’m not going to.” Yeah okay sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 03:11 PM
9

Yeah I love when men say they’re never going to talk to women again because of all these false rape allegations. dramatic tiktok music Okay, do it. Stop talking to us. If you’re worried about being accused of rape, you’re the kind of man who should stay far away from women. Thanks for doing the work for us! (Seriously though... just leave us alone)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 03:02 PM
6

Absolutely. I’m as non threatening as they come and I would never go up to a random child. Sometimes I catch myself staring at a cute baby because while my intentions might be good, it’s still kinda creepy. Why do LVM have such an issue with respecting boundaries? So many men act like children — if you tell them to do something, they’ll do the opposite just to spite you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 02:59 PM
75

I just did the math... 1% of the US military fund is 6 billion dollars. One percent. 6 billion dollars. Excuse me, what the fuck?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 02:41 PM
161

No actually, these dogs are just angry, ugly misandrists. lmao obviously /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 11:21 AM
161

I saw a post or comment that explained when we message first or pursue with enthusiasm, men think, “wow she must be desperate; should be easy to get in her pants.” That makes so much sense. When we have thousands of options, why would we put energy into just one before we’ve met? Even if it weren’t true, I’m done letting men I don’t even know believe that I give a shit about their attention or affection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 11:13 AM
22

Right!! I’ve never made intentional eye contact with a man in public lol impressive
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 11:10 AM
52

I once saw a LV profile that literally said, “obviously I’m not looking for love on a dating site.” I... I just... what??? Where else would you... why would you... oh, fuck it. Who cares. I give up trying to understand. I’d need a shrink ray to get on their level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 02:05 AM
5

Absolutely. LVM would throw a lifetime long friendship out the window if it meant they got to have sex with that hot friend they’ve always been attracted to. Coworkers were discussing if women and men can be friends today and I reeeeeally resisted chiming in. The sad truth is that most men only invest time and energy into women they’re related to or attracted to. That’s it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 10:47 PM
130

Absolutely, 110%. The end result would have been the same, but at least she doesn’t have to live with the disappointing memory of sleeping with this loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 03:54 PM
290

Since LVM are so afraid we’re all gold diggers, picture this... I break up with a guy because he didn’t buy me enough jewelry in the first month of dating. Can you imagine? I don’t expect access to a man’s bank account in the first six months of dating; he shouldn’t expect access to my body.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 03:52 PM
557

Pretending to be a decent person who is interested in our lives is just a means to an end: sex. This is how addicts act, because that’s what they are. They expect us to give them the instant gratification they get from women on screens. It’s just horrifying how good they are at faking empathy and kindness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 03:50 PM
6

It feels hopeless. What motivation do LVM have to change? I used to think if they understood what we went through, truly listened and accepted it, they’d be more compassionate. But they have this information and it’s not getting better. They’re trying to shut us up. I used to believe empathy was a baseline trait that most people have. I’m not so sure anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 07:22 PM
17

Ugh this 110%. Don’t even trust them when they say “I love you.” Their words mean absolutely nothing. They don’t feel bad about lying and will say whatever they need to in the moment to get what they want or avoid consequences. I’ve stayed with horrible men because “they loved me.” Spoiler alert: they did not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 03:38 PM
7

I want someone who has my back and sees the best in me. I always give that to my partners; just waiting to get it back someday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 03:25 PM
29

You’re absolutely right. And I’m definitely not saying only beautiful women are attacked or targeted by any means. But I think it takes a lot of bravery to go out knowing men will be giving them extra attention. It shouldn’t be that way, though! We shouldn’t have to be wary of male attention, but it’s the safest choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 11:21 PM
158

Last week I walked my dog to the park. A guy drove into the empty parking lot, backed into a space facing me, and sat in his car looking out. I waited a few minutes to see if he’d get out to fish or something. Nope. Welp, sorry pup, guess we’re going home cuz I can’t just live my life without worrying about the worst that could happen. On another note, I’ve recently lost weight and realized how much of a defense mechanism my fat was. I can’t stand when men look at me. I can’t stand feeling like …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 07:33 PM
99

accctshuallyyy women do this too and why are you generalizing and Becky from junior year dated the quarterback so men are the real victims and IF THE ROLES WERE REVERSED 🙄🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 07:27 PM
84

Well, of course it’s her fault. She made the mistake of trusting the man she wanted to spend her life with /s Seriously though, they’ll say “not all men” when we’re cautious and then flip the switch and blame us for being naive when we trust them. We literally can’t win.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 07:25 PM
79

I don’t see why a man would get upset about women being wary of them unless they’re the type of man we should be wary of. Because good men, HVM, understand our caution and have no problem taking the time to earn our trust, because they aren’t worrying about “slipping up” and showing their true colors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 07:20 PM
38

Any man who jerks off to his friends’ photos or continues hitting on a woman he knows isn’t interested or sends a dick pic without being asked or pretends to be a woman’s friend while actively sexualizing her (“friend zone,” anyone?) is just a rapist who doesn’t want to face consequences or hasn’t escalated. And yeah, I’d say that’s probably 99.999999% of men at least. But I’m very cynical (and proud of it).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 07:15 PM
8

The trope that “women who say they don’t want to have sex actually have sex on their mind” is so manipulative and dangerous. It puts us in a position where we can’t say, “hey I am not comfortable with physical intimacy” without a man thinking that means YES. Fuck no. I am being clear with my intentions and trying to protect myself. It’s so messed up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:59 PM
9

I looked up grey rocking and it sounds like how every LVM acts in a relationship lol it’s a completely valid method to use with someone dangerous or manipulative, but men use it just to fuck with us. smh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:19 PM
283

Men are completely welcome to assume the worst about ALL women before they meet us. Thing is, most men’s biggest fear when it comes to women is that we’re fat. Our concerns aren’t equally valid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:09 PM
20

My last porn addict LVX was the first person I’ve introduced that show to who didn’t like it. Worse, he didn’t like the character of Fleabag. Oh I guess he only appreciates “liberated” “sexually empowered” women when he’s using them, huh? This show will now be one of my many litmus tests going forward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:44 PM
47

Well now he has to face the truth that he’s a degenerate porn addict instead of just “accidentally scrolling past.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:01 PM
10

Exactly. They refuse to reflect. You know that feeling we get when we realize, “hmm, maybe I didn’t handle that situation well. Maybe I could have done that differently. Maybe I was in the wrong”? LVM avoid that feeling like the PLAGUE. The moment the smallest amount of cognitive dissonance occurs, they get scared and double down instead of figuring out how they can improve. Weak, pathetic worms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 02:56 PM
16

Exactly. Speaking from my pickme past, they’ll just think, “this guy is a jerk — it definitely doesn’t apply to the loser I’m dating right now!” Siiiiigh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 02:52 PM
5

We may work in a similar field! After seeing so many gorgeous older women, 30-40 years older than I am, in much better shape, I realized there is no wall and it’s never too late to achieve your fitness goals!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 02:31 PM
22

I agree. They don’t genuinely believe we’re hateful or violent. We’re powerful. That’s why they’re scared and why they’re lying to make FDS look bad. I just can’t imagine being mad about a group of people gaining self respect and enforcing boundaries. Only literal psychopaths would be upset by that. Makes sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 02:13 PM
29

Wow they reeeeeally hate that we hold a mirror up to their own shitty behavior. LVM are allergic to admitting fault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 02:10 PM
35

Planning to buy a house this year!! I’m getting so excited thinking about what to do with the space. I can’t wait to have a little cozy hideaway for me and my pets. I feel like the options are endless!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 09:43 PM
66

Welp, I’d rather be a “paranoid” “misandrist” than a victim of sexual assault, soooo if we must choose between “no men are rapists” and “all men are rapists,” it’s an easy choice for me! Hey guys: if you want women to stop assuming you’re a predator... start holding each other accountable. kthxbye
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 02:00 PM
10

Thank you!! Absolutely agreed. I’m speaking from experience as someone who preached the “it’s the modern year — women can totally ask men out!” myth for years. At worst, the guys I pursued used me until they got bored. At best, they had very little initiative and never planned dates or thought ahead. Women are completely ready and willing for a world in which both genders make the first move on a regular basis. But men have consistently shown that they don’t truly want this and they only value w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 06:25 AM
52

So hey, as someone who has bankrolled my relationships more often than not... any tips? How could one tap into that dating pool without being in a similar tax bracket? Just be super hot and charming? lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 11:32 PM
14

Hey, why not? All women should become sex workers! We should all just sleep with men for money, food, and shelter. We should totally give up all of the opportunities that women have been fighting for since the beginning of civilization and go back to tying our worth to pleasing men! Who needs a job or an education? Just get naked, honey! Maybe he’ll make you his permanent bangmaid some day. That’s REAL feminism! (heavy sarcasm)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 11:23 PM
20

This is the only place that we can discuss our sexual assault experiences without men making the conversation about themselves and needing to remind everyone that “women bad too” and “not all men.” They can’t just sit down, shut the fuck up, and listen. Well, if they want to come lurk at FDS, they better learn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 11:16 PM
24

This is soo true. I saw a comment recently from a guy saying he has several friends who “have been victims of false allegations.” I responded that if he knows that many men who have been accused of rape, he probably hangs out with shitty people. Surprisingly got some upvotes. I imagine this is just par for the course for some (most?) fraternities, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 06:43 PM
34

Tiktok lip syncs of other tiktoks are one of those “I’m old now and I don’t get this” kinda things. I suppose it’s the tiktok version of retweeting?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 06:32 PM
161

This is really beautiful and almost brought me to tears. Women are amazing. So many tiny, considerate, compassionate details that go completely unnoticed or misunderstood by half of the population. Men don’t have to think about these things, but we do. We are angry and have every right to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 10:10 PM
40

I was just thinking about this in regards to my friend’s boyfriend. She’s way too good for him in about every way you can think of, but he’s still “better” than 90% of men. He doesn’t cheat or lie or do anything super bad that you can pinpoint. He’s just low energy, low EQ, low ambition, low value... that’s all it is. And she plans to marry this guy. Sigh. If only every woman knew their worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 10:04 PM
14

It’s true. The single mothers I know would have a much easier time if their exes weren’t around. Nine years of “coparenting” and my ex-BIL still finds ways to make my amazing sister cry regularly. He actively attacks my niece’s self esteem. He hides money so he barely has to pay child support. All of our lives would be much better without him. If I decide to have a child, which is unlikely, it will be mine. Whether I adopt or use a donor, I refuse to give a man 50% of the credit if I’m doing mos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 05:27 PM
22

I keep getting suggested threads about how women should start making the first move, asking men out, etc. I can’t resist contributing despite the downvotes. LVM are so blatant in their manipulation; it’s ridiculous. And pickmes won’t think it through for 2 seconds. How does women making the first move benefit us in ANY way? So you get the “opportunity” to be a bangmaid for a guy who didn’t even like you enough to message you first? UGH I want to metaphorically shake the internalized misogyny out…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 05:17 PM
8

Ooh wow, I looked it up and am not sure how I feel about it. We’re so far down the rabbit hole with gender and sexuality at this point. Labels mean everything and nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 05:14 PM
3

Personally, I don’t like her work but wouldn’t go as far to say it’s trash. It’s similar to Twilight: not that great, but highly overrated by teenage girls and “basic” so that’s why everyone hates on it. Rupi Kaur’s work isn’t particularly innovative or revelatory, but if it touches the hearts of those who need it, then it has value IMO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 04:58 PM
23

Toward the end, a LVX and I got into a mean argument (no regrets on my end, wish I had been meaner) about a musical artist that preyed on teenage girls. LVX basically said it was the girls’ choice and if they were encouraging the artist, he has every right to take advantage. Guess who’s 30 and dating a teenager now? Yeah... don’t trust men who make excuses for other men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 04:51 PM
90

Seriously. For years I would tell men not to even try because I didn’t want to deal with their pouting when it took a few minutes. Or their constant checking in if I’m done yet. (Bro: you’d know!) I don’t believe that it’s “easier” for men to orgasm. I could probably make myself cum faster than a man could make himself cum. So it’s not about anatomy; it’s about effort and skill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 03:33 PM
1

It’s another human being. How could it be less stress than a dildo? That makes no sense lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 09:37 PM
32

For every woman in my family with mental health issues, I could give you the names of at least two men who abused them in some way. I’m not excusing their behavior, but abusive women are almost always victims themselves. Trauma begets trauma. It feels wrong to place the onus on mothers when we can just as easily keep going back in time and blame their fathers and husbands.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 09:02 PM
9

I’m curious to know what OP and others struggle(d) with. For me, it was 50/50 and porn. Now the latter is probably my hardest boundary. I believe my resistance was due to wanting a larger pool of men to pick from, but as we all know, quantity does not guarantee quality. I feel so much safer and confident with FDS guidelines to follow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 08:33 PM
2

Dated several LVM who texted me all day every day, until they got bored, started slow ghosting, and said they couldn’t talk during work. Ohhh okay. So your boss allows you to text when you’re trying to sleep with someone but not when you’re in a relationship? Got it, got it. Cool policy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 08:28 PM
2

Even in my dark pickme days, I observed this. I would wish to be a guy’s friend or ex because they seemed to value those people so much more than me. I always felt like, and was often told, I was the last priority in their life. Girlfriends and wives are lesser in LVM’s eyes simply for being the woman who chose them. Because you know they were liking pics of that same exact woman before they got laid. It’s a pathetic reflection of their insecurity, low self worth, and lack of emotional intellige…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 08:24 PM
3

Yep, it means men are being held to the standards of decency and morality that women have always been expected to adhere to. Oh no, poor baby manchild has to treat women like people now? Boo fucking hoo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 08:15 PM
7

I try not to venture too far out of FDS, but when I do, disabling reply notifications has been a godsend. No more stress about spitting the upsetting truth about men. The opportunity to potentially help even one woman is worth all the downvotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 07:57 PM
2

I truly believe many of these young girls and women buying into the OF hype don’t consider themselves sex workers, though they absolutely are. Unfortunately they won’t realize or accept it until the damage has been done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 07:52 PM
6

Sometimes a small part of me wants to write a detailed letter explaining all of the trauma he caused, how his abuse derailed my entire life, detailing all of the horrible things he pretends not to remember. But a larger, stronger part of me would never give him the satisfaction of knowing I even think about him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 07:44 PM
83

I’ve struggled with guilt over not paying, because I don’t want to use men or even be perceived as using men. Whereas they aren’t worried about it at all. They will happily take free dinner AND sex, never call you or think about you again, then brag about it to their friends. We gotta stop feeling bad and protecting the feelings of men we barely know, HV or not. Let’s put our standards and boundaries first on the first date and always. Side note, it’s interesting how some women are willing to pa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 07:37 PM
7

Why waste time, energy, and money just for (likely) mediocre sex with a guy you’ll probably have to drop when you actually find a HVM? They’re getting so much more out of it than you are for absolutely zero effort. These guys just have to show up when you tell them to. Not going to assume anything about you, but typically women are the ones who spend way more money on beauty products and fashion, who are expected to remove body hair for sexual encounters, who are more at risk for UTIs, catching …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 04:51 PM
31

I had this opportunity once and eventually got bored. The situation became really repetitive and stale. Even regular good sex isn’t very rewarding without some sense of growth, progression, or variety. At best, a male FWB is a vibrator with complications. But usually they’re just a disappointment with complications. Having regular sex with a guy I’m not planning to have a future with feels like the equivalent of renting over buying lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 04:43 PM
37

Men are so opposed to being seen as horny monsters with uncontrollable urges. They claim to be more logical and rational than women. So I’m holding them to the same standard I hold myself. If I can be happy in a relationship without looking at other people naked, my partner can too. I expect to receive the same treatment I’m giving. And I don’t want to hear some bullshit excuse about hormones. If I can manage my PMS symptoms, a man can certainly manage to avoid strip clubs and porn sites. Their …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 04:35 PM
97

I remember a post on here about a woman who went along with the check theatre, obviously out of politeness, and the LVM actually took her up on it, then made a post all “confused” why she’s mad. I’m not taking that chance. You have the right idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 04:18 PM
28

That’s why they project and assume we have a plan or want something from them. We don’t. FDS queens don’t need anyone’s money or attention or affection. Personally, I’m just trying to live in the moment and enjoy myself when on a date. But that’s really difficult to do when I have to be constantly on guard for some LVM treating me like a sex puzzle to solve. e: damn it really just hit me that men assume the worst in women and women assume the best in men. We gotta stop this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 04:13 PM
63

This is why intention means everything. If men had the same motivation for liking coffee dates as we do: it’s simple, quick, can leave early if we’re not into it, can transition into dinner if we’re feeling it, etc. But no, we can’t have that. Everything has to be about how to manipulate us into having sex with them. Everything they say and do regarding women is a means to an end. I’m fucking over it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 11:40 AM
45

For some reason, it’s really nice to know that Stabler irl not only knows what incels are, but reviles them. My fragile belief in HVM, fictional or otherwise, lives to see another day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 10:58 PM
14

My self growth and improvement have always been stifled while in relationships because LVM are extremely threatened by it. Now that I’ve given up dating, I feel like I have endless time and freedom to evolve and discover my higher self, without having to worry about “scaring off” some covert LVM. I’ve been researching new hobbies and acquiring personalized long term goals that have nothing to do with love or romance. For the first time, I feel like I’m living for myself and not just passing time…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 05:33 PM
7

Still working on it. Ever since I realized the men I’ve been with were just “masturbating with my body,” I feel physically ill when previous sexual encounters pop into my head. I was basically an unpaid sex worker. Therapy would probably help, but I’ve yet to find a good therapist. My only plan right now is celibacy until I’ve healed. But I just can’t imagine trusting another man with my body at this point. I can’t imagine how sex will ever feel mutual and loving again now that I know the truth.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 12:52 PM
18

My therapist didn’t even meet or treat my LVX, but took his side and justified his porn addiction. Even in a “safe space,” they’ll cover for each other. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 12:56 AM
15

That phrase makes me physically ill and it’s not even downvoted. Men approve of that comment. They’re monsters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 04:09 PM
19

Exactly. Wouldn’t they fall back in love once their balls fill up again if this were the case? I’m in the camp that post nut clarity is just men’s excuse for knowingly and intentionally manipulating women into sex. They know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 02:19 PM
13

All of this, just for one single orgasm. The worst part is they don’t even regret it. They actually think the ends justify the means. We’re living in a horror movie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 02:16 PM
21

I would take every single time back if I could. Sex has never added value to my life past temporary pleasure. None of those men deserved access to my body. After all the posts I’ve seen on here, I don’t think any man deserves access to any woman’s body.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 02:13 PM
18

I just listened to this episode again yesterday! Tons of men cheered when they mentioned Lola Bunny. I love that Jason encouraged their girlfriends to dump them. I wholeheartedly agree. Side note, Jason is most likely a LVM irl, but he’s so damn funny. Paul and June seem to have a neutral to high value relationship, though. They allude to an equal partnership in parenthood and Paul treats her like a person, for lack of better phrasing. I didn’t even realize they were married for several episodes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 12:23 AM
8

Why can’t they just be honest about this? I think it’s because most men don’t see themselves this way. They purposely forget the times that they treated women like garbage and focus on the one time some queen out of their league rejected them. Because the women they aren’t attracted to or don’t want to pursue? Those women don’t exist to them, so of course they don’t take them into account.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 11:36 AM
112

FDS cured me of idolizing men just for existing. I really love a line I read in one of the posts here: Men objectify women. Women personify men. This is so true for me. I’ve built men up in my head as being amazing for doing the most basic shit, while they’re looking at me like a blow up doll. It’s depressing, but so relieving to have the blindfold removed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 11:31 AM
189

Seeeeriously. He pretty much described a perfect woman, but he thinks he’s too good for her? Yeah, okay buddy. This post is proof that you can literally be the whole package and some loser will still manage to devalue you in his head. She deserves so much better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 07:59 PM
44

How can they enjoy themselves when the other person clearly isn’t? I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully understand that. Do they still feel a sense of personal pride or accomplishment when they pressure and force women into interacting with them? Are they convincing themselves she secretly wants it? It’s absolutely disgusting. If someone leaned away when I tried to kiss them, I would be mortified, apologize profusely, and probably run away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 07:54 PM
8

Surprise, surprise. It’s about their ego. People are possessions to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 11:18 AM
15

After this post, I’m considering it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 11:16 AM
64

On one hand, I think it’s important for boys to be raised by FDS queens. On the other hand, they’ll probably be ruined by their LV peers before puberty regardless of how we raise them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 11:27 PM
23

“Didn’t look at her Twitter, because who the fuck cares what women have to say, am I right?” What a waste of oxygen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 07:06 PM
27

When I was on the rebound, my record was around 8 first dates in two weeks. I didn’t sleep with any of them, but I certainly could have. Men give it up so easily. Have some self respect, boys /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 03:46 PM
19

I identify as bisexual, but ever since hearing about that concept, I feel like I’m compulsory sexual in general. I was taught to sexualize women and idealize men since birth... and I have no idea if that’s how I truly feel. I’m definitely romantic and enjoy sex with someone I have feelings for, but I don’t seek out sex for the sake of sex. I use it for connection. I guess that’s demisexual? Labels are complicated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 02:57 PM
1

I completely agree with you. That comment didn’t sit right with me and now I understand why. I also think beautiful women tend to over-assume that people are envious or thinking about them. These “frumpy” wives are probably more worried about a million other things than some one random hot woman their husband knows, like paying bills or taking care of potential kids. Plus I’m sure they aren’t the only one he’s creeping on, anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 04:03 AM
60

I’m still relearning this. I used to think “engaged” and “married” were synonymous with “happily ever after.” Like “oh this woman got a man to marry her so she must know what she’s talking about.” Ugh, who cares? Marriage is only a prize if it’s with a HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 05:32 PM
26

Seeeeriously. If anyone actually thinks this is true, I will happily share pictures of all my exes to prove them wrong. I can only say “at least he was hot” about maybe two of them, but even they were (gasp) under 6ft and definitely did not make 6 figures. It’s taken me a long time to realize that ugly men don’t automatically appreciate beautiful women more. A LVM is a LVM regardless of packaging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 05:28 PM
64

I think that’s how I used to feel, reddit is different from real life. But it’s not. All of the gross, misogynistic comments that get upvoted by the thousands... are upvoted by real men. By our brothers, sons, dads, husbands, co-workers. It’s not just a group of edgy teenagers. Men are speaking their truth on here. It’s not pretty, but we need to accept it. I can barely stomach comment threads in other subreddits anymore, but reading the honest words of men caused me to become a radical feminist…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 03:04 PM
68

I spent so many years blaming myself and trying to improve. Good news: I’m very proud of my self growth. Bad news: I can’t change men and I’ve given up trying. The risks of having them around have always outweighed the benefits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 02:08 PM
266

How can you be on reddit and not see the truth in almost every single thread? Reddit is the reason I’m scared of men and am suspicious of what’s really going on inside their heads. Finally they have a place to be their honest, unabashed selves... and holy hell is it terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 12:08 PM
18

I also remember a “success story” post featuring a couple in which the man was shorter than the woman. The comments were filled with LVM mocking this couple and shaming both sides of the equation. Women might have preferences, but we’re not the ones bullying men for their height or dick size. They only have themselves to blame for that one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 12:39 PM
5

Yeah I’m pretty sure it’s easier to stretch his dick than literally reverse my age but go off “king”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 12:36 PM
13

Oh I highly doubt there are many actual women on there. Just role playing rapists. (Maybe that’s wishful thinking.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 12:35 PM
69

I feel like mothers of sons are at high risk of pickmeism. I’ve seen previously very feminist women all of a sudden become the #1 MRA ally after having a son. It’s depressing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 12:31 PM
26

There’s this gorgeous woman I used to follow on Instagram and was high key super envious of her style and makeup skills. Well she posted a picture with her boyfriend for the first time and let me tell you... I was in denial for this poor woman. She looked pretty, polished, clean, stylish, perfect makeup, perfect shiny hair. This man... omg. This man looked like he hadn’t washed or brushed his hair in a few months, wearing wrinkled sweats and a ratty used-to-be-white-but-is-now-gray T-shirt, no s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 12:22 PM
1

Interesting, because I’ve never visited their sub. Hmm, wonder who’s really obsessed with whom?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 05:09 PM
3

I cried, mourning for all the time, energy, and happiness I’ve lost waiting for LVM to care. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 10:10 AM
38

My last LVX wasn’t even into sports, the outdoors, or video games... just porn. Cool hobby, bro.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 09:53 AM
150

Have you met any men who would be cool with their girlfriend hanging out with another guy until 3am? Cuz I sure haven’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 10:36 PM
41

Yeah that’s what I meant. He wants a refund because he didn’t “get what he paid for” ugh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 07:37 PM
73

Yeah props to that one FDS-er who’s dating millionaires, but I think I’m gunna sit this one out for the next 60 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 04:43 PM
161

Did he... did he think having sex with a woman cost $35 and now he deserves a refund? I am flummoxed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 04:42 PM
23

Ugh seriously. That’s something you ask ahead of time and then reconfirm in the moment. But I’m also sick of men’s obsession with morning sex in general. It’s just another way of saying “my inconsequential boner that happens every single day when I wake up is more important than your desire to sleep, shower, brush your teeth, pee, etc.” I’m never having morning sex again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 11:38 AM
69

I’m opposed to women infantilizing themselves and I’m not ashamed of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 07:16 PM
18

I doubt men visit her page to learn about feminism. I know plenty of “activists” like this on Instagram — didn’t stop my exes from using them as porn. As we all know, communicating doesn’t work with men. They know all of this already; they don’t care. But it’s still good that she’s saying it for other women and girls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 07:14 PM
43

It seems like a “having your cake and eating it too” kinda situation. She’s getting points from women for speaking out against men, but she’s also getting points from men who watch her tiktoks on mute. The clothing and makeup wouldn’t be too bad if not combined with pigtails and a baby voice. Doesn’t really fit the “I am woman, hear me roar” message. I’m still glad she’s saying it, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 07:06 PM
89

Omg I’m so relieved someone else said it. You just know her page attracts the exact type of dudes she’s complaining about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 06:47 PM
153

Someone (I think) I didn’t know tried to break into my house a few months ago. They knocked several times and when I didn’t answer, slammed their body into the door for a few minutes attempting to break the lock. They had a pick up truck backed into my driveway. I called 911 and they left before the cops got there. I’m so grateful nothing bad happened, but it scares me to think what would have happened if I had opened the door.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:25 PM
5

Tell me this is satire or I’m leaving the planet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:23 AM
18

I think “trigger” is the accurate terminology to use when discussing trauma, but LVM on the internet have mocked it and turned it into a joke to minimize the experience of victims. Personally, I’m all for reclamation of the word.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:07 AM
4

I loooove the scene in the first episode when the cat lady bus driver tells her she can hang out with the “Guy’s Girls” and it’s a field full of pickmes in sports jerseys, asking for wings and beer, claiming they love video games. 😂 I’ve been trying to find a clip to post here for awhile. Love the focus on female friendships and strengthening those bonds after a break up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 07:02 PM
15

I just invested in one of those fancy suction vibrators and it was a better experience than I’ve ever had with a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 06:44 PM
7

If a woman seems unsure, the answer is NO! It’s not difficult to understand; they just pretend not to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 06:39 PM
12

I can’t comprehend the appeal of doing anything sexual to someone who doesn’t want it. I would feel like a disgusting creep if they hadn’t given enthusiastic consent. I always ask partners if they’re sure, even if they had suggested it first. Do these men (who claim they aren’t rapists, which they are) pat themselves on the back for having sex with a woman who clearly didn’t want it? They’re pathetic, gross incels who should just buy sex dolls and leave us TF alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 06:36 PM
13

Seriously. Either the woman isn’t that into them and they’re pressuring an unenthusiastic partner (sexual coercion — yes, LV lurkers: pressuring a woman into sex is considered assault) OR that woman would have had sex with them eventually. God forbid they have to wait a few months for sex when they’ve probably been single for years. You’re exactly right; they only rush things when they want to coerce a woman into sex and move onto the next one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 06:26 PM
13

Hoooooly shit, how were they not calling that dude out more? He’s straight trash. Like pure, hot garbage to the core of his soul.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 06:08 PM
5

I broke up with someone (and that was very rare for me) because he didn’t care about my dog. Unfortunately for him, I am obsessed with my dog. After five years, my camera roll is still filled with photos of him. I recently bought a pet camera and just watch him sleep all day. He’s the love of my life. Anyway, I digress. So this LVM would never react or respond to the dog photos I sent. I called him out on it and he was like, “What do you want me to say? It’s just a photo of a dog. Why would I ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 03:57 PM
50

They’re allll about women being “sexually liberated” until it comes time to settle down. Then suddenly they don’t want a woman who’s had sex with too many people. Such hypocrites.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 03:34 PM
21

lol yes! HVW be like, “I work out every day, make six figures, have impeccable fashion sense, put 20 hours into self maintenance every week, go to therapy, donate to charity, won Miss America, cured cancer, have a stand up special on HBO, and run an animal rescue, but can’t get a boyfriend. What’s wrong with me?” Meanwhile, LVM: “I put on a wrinkled t-shirt and jeans, paid a whole $20 for drinks, and even brushed my teeth, but this woman wouldn’t fuck me. What’s wrong with her?” I can’t. They’re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 03:05 PM
14

It’s ridiculous that we’re expected to relate to emotionally stunted idiots who have been raised in what is basically a different universe. I’ve never understood this. Men and women are raised completely differently and then told, “okay now go get married to each other!” What? Why? We have nothing in common. I’m supposed to cater to someone who wasn’t taught empathy and compassion? Nah, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:55 PM
23

Yep. This is why LVM are trying to brainwash women into making the first move and complimenting men more. Because they want to know who they can use for sex, that’s it. They don’t respect or like women who initiate more; they just know they can use you as a blow up doll until they find someone better. They will date women they aren’t even attracted to, just to get their dick wet every so often. Never pursue men. NEVER.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:50 PM
20

Wow, congratulations! 20 years sober from some LVM’s bullshit. I commend you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:47 PM
56

I was thinking about this the other day. Mothers are always (implicitly or explicitly) blamed for why men become serial killers as well. But following that logic, why did the mothers become abusive? Probably their fathers and other men. We can play the blame game all day, but you’ll always find men at the source. Hell, I’ll even argue that men were more likely to be abusive alcoholics in the early-mid 20th century due to PTSD from war, but even then... who’s to blame? Men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:44 PM
7

Exactly!! I wanted to be succinct, but there’s so much more under the surface with the second type. “Mad” is putting it lightly. It’s more like deep, repressed rage. The moment you give them an ounce of power, (i.e. falling in love with the “nice guy”) they think, “Finally! It’s my turn to treat women like shit! I’ve made it!” I find these concepts hard to articulate, so forgive me for rambling. We know LVM date women to impress other men. But it’s as if dating a woman isn’t enough anymore. It’s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:28 PM
10

This is why I always got dragged into break up/make up cycles. Because they literally won’t listen until you say you’re leaving. Then all of sudden they pull out all the stops to keep you around. It’s exhausting and I’m never doing it again. If a man doesn’t listen to my feelings and adjust accordingly the first time, BYE!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 11:30 AM
12

I wasn’t aware of the affair back then, but my first exposure to him was the letter Dylan Farrow wrote a few years ago. I hadn’t even seen any of his movies at that point (and never intend to change that), so pretty much all I know about Woody Allen is that he’s a pedophile and a predator. Hopefully this program will help others see him the same way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 12:38 AM
273

Sometimes it feels like the options are: men who enjoy manipulating women and men who are mad they can’t manipulate women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 12:25 AM
2

My favorite “relationship coach” is this guy who tells people the way to get their ex back is by just not talking to them. I don’t even know if it’s genuine advice, but at least he’s helping pickmes (me at the time) detach from their loser LVX and convincing creepy men to leave women alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 02:30 PM
7

I’ve dated men who said they weren’t that interested in anal sex until I told them it was a hard boundary for me. Then all of a sudden it became their #1 fantasy. They’re disgusting. Men are broken. (Can I just end every comment with that, like a signature?)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 02:05 PM
2

I just started watching SVU for the first time in my life and I’m obsessed. It goes well with FDS. In case I ever forget the true nature of men, either source will set me straight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 02:03 PM
9

FDS has helped me find value in all of the traumatic experiences I’ve been through. I may have dated nearly every type of LVM on the market, but now I can use that information to help other amazing women find peace and self-respect — the way you’ve all helped me. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 01:57 PM
5

When I still used porn, I dated a guy who felt jealous about it and my immediate response was, “Oh, okay. I can stop. It’s not important.” Because it’s not. I might get defensive about my diet or hobbies or friends. But porn? Anyone willing to hurt or lose an actual person who cares and wants to have sex with them just to look at images on a screen is broken beyond repair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 01:40 PM
6

Ugh, I’m still mad that my therapist wasn’t supportive of me leaving my pornsick ex. It was such a huge step for me, to walk away from disrespect. I’ve mentioned it elsewhere, but he told me porn wouldn’t have been a problem if I hadn’t asked about it. I fired him at the end of the session. He actually called a few weeks later and left a message. I deleted it, but sometimes I daydream about scheduling another appointment just to rant FDS principles at him for an hour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 01:30 PM
30

LVM accuse us of only wanting to be with “bad boys,” but as per usual, it’s projection. They’re the ones who have an inability to appreciate partners who genuinely love and care for them. It seems like they only obsess over women who won’t give them too much attention or affection. I can’t and won’t be with someone that I have to treat poorly or hold at arm’s length to keep their interest. It’s an exhausting game and I refuse to play. My theory is that LVM hate themselves and can’t respect anyon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 01:21 PM
67

Wow, we’re legitimately connected to nature. Women are amazing. Despite all the hardships we face, I’m so grateful to be one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 10:22 AM
80

I just don’t think I could take the chance of ending up with someone who is only with me out of desperation or convenience. And that’s the best case scenario with a LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 10:14 AM
85

Every time I consider going back to OLD, I will watch this video! It’s such a relief to know this experience is so universal and women aren’t putting up with it anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 06:01 PM
11

I think we’d probably have to create a ladies only reddit if we want to eliminate violence and naked pictures of potentially underaged women. Sigh. Why are men like this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 02:02 PM
19

Seeeeriously. The LVM making such claims would cry their eyes out if they saw how many likes and messages we get in an hour of OLD. There’s no such thing as a female incel, because there will always be an uglier, more desperate man willing to put his dick in anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 01:55 PM
8

Thank you so much. I have a really difficult time sharing my experience with friends and family. I worry that people don’t believe me or think I’m exaggerating. It’s really cathartic to have someone truly listen and offer compassion. I just recently accepted how much damage that relationship caused, so seeing his name in my message requests was nauseating. It’s not like we have different memories. It’s not like he wasn’t there when I was hiding bruises every week. How can he know what he did to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 04:33 PM
93

Thanks. This happened to me. My physically and verbally abusive ex started dating a seemingly sweet, kind woman about a month after we broke up and they stayed together for years. (My friend told me he left her after almost a decade because their sex life was boring and he needed variety.) Meanwhile, I’ve spent this time attempting to heal my trauma in about a million different healthy and unhealthy ways. He had the nerve to send me some banal message last year. It was a request so I just delete…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 11:01 AM
9

Absolutely. I feel so much more pure-hearted and wholesome without that kind of influence in my life, which is why I won’t allow it in any of my relationships going forward. I want a wholesome, pure-hearted connection that isn’t ruined by the presence of gross, abusive porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 09:33 PM
8

I’m so sorry that happened to you! I’m glad you survived and found a support system of likeminded women. As far as disengaging from my kinks... I felt like it was understandable for women to want to be submissive or not in control, because we’re shamed for our sexuality, so it allows us to enjoy these fantasies and experiences without guilt. (Not saying I’m right about that, just how I justified it to myself) So, in my head, wanting that loss of control made sense... but HOLD UP, what kind of fu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 09:27 PM
11

I have no idea why any woman would use Bumble. Even in my deepest pickme days, even when I still messaged first sometimes if the guy was cute, I knew that any man on Bumble would act lazy, lack initiative, and be a complete waste of time. If he’s so apathetic he can’t send a message first, that’s the same energy he’ll bring to the relationship. Hard pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 08:23 PM
29

I’m absolutely guilty, so thank you for making this post. I haven’t creeped on every ex, and there’s a very clear correlation between whose profiles I looked at and which relationships took me the longest to get over. It’s so much easier to forget them and heal when you aren’t reminding yourself they exist all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 07:47 PM
7

Ehhh those men were probably just putting on an act as HVM then. Talking about your interests, looking at your stories, sharing pics... it was clearly a means to an end for them. Once the “end” (sex) was no longer in sight, there was no reason to keep pretending. Unfortunately even LVM who are “looking for a relationship” are actually just tired of putting in the effort of dating and want regular sex they can rely on. I’ve had men straight up tell me that. “I hope this works out because I am sic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 06:27 PM
5

I’ve always said that not having a degree may hurt your chances, but having a degree doesn’t really help, it’s just expected in some positions. I had a 3.9 GPA and 32 on my ACT, but unfortunately an abusive relationship derailed my future. I wish I had gone to college for the social experience, but I also feel bad for people who are 40K+ in debt and make less than I do even after 5 or 6 years in the workforce. Now I have plenty of time to go back with a clear plan, all while making a decent sala…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 06:14 PM
4

I directly told a man that I don’t allow choking and he did it anyway. Same with attempted anal sex. I hate hate hate being a victim, but I was assaulted. I need to accept that if I can heal from it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:53 PM
40

“It was sooo sexy when she initiated which is why I promptly lost interest and started jerking off to my ex’s Instagram page.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:31 PM
7

The two fattest guys I’ve dated were the most charmingly manipulative people I’ve ever met. I can still see their “duping delight” smiles in my head and it makes my stomach turn. The shortest guy I’ve dated is an egocentric narcissist who is still obsessed with (and often stalks) every single woman who’s ever looked at him. The most attractive, fit man I’ve dated was calm, respectful, and genuinely adored me during one of the lowest points in my life. Unfortunately he was also poly and a “bad te…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:28 PM
5

The interaction thing doesn’t even make any sense, anyway. If she is “interacting” with these men by posting on Reddit, then he’s “interacting” with the women he’s looking at on Reddit. It’s exhausting how men (and pickmes) never apply their own logic to themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:14 PM
8

Societal gaslighting is so real. I get that at-wit’s-end crazy-making feeling just thinking about arguments I’ve had where they directly contradict themselves or use 8.5 million logical fallacies in one argument but just keep doubling down and making you feel like ripping out your hair. It’s such a relief to know it’s not just me. And not in a “I think I’m special” way, but because every guy I’ve been with has told me it’s a me problem and they’ve ”never had to deal with this in other relationsh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:11 PM
11

I really wish I had the confidence and willingness to post sexy pictures of myself in these situations. It would be checkmate every time. You know how guys always say they wouldn’t care if we watched porn? Well I wouldn’t care if they posted naked pictures of themselves! See, it goes both ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:07 PM
13

Exactly. Clearly these random scrotes on the internet have the capacity to appreciate her more than her own husband does, sooo good on her. How shitty would it be to know your husband has tons of sexy pictures of you, but only ended up looking at one by “accident?” He’s a loser. I hope she finds someone on her level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:04 PM
54

I don’t share this often, but I was exposed to porn and had a fascination with sex at much too young an age. (I suspect trauma, but haven’t felt up to exploring that in therapy yet) I was reading my sister’s Cosmos and taking late night peeks at Cinemax. It progressed to internet porn as a teen and I developed an interest in BDSM before I had even made out with someone. Eventually I was watching weird or degrading porn and it really was like I needed something new or more exciting every time. Bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 04:58 PM
151

I still can’t get over the fact an underaged girl co-wrote lyrics such as “bruises on both my knees for you” with her adult brother. The music video, especially the end, is ridiculously sexualized too, and it was filmed when she was still 17. It’s gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 03:58 PM
62

I used to think I had to have sex with a man on the third date, because that’s the “rule.” Ugh. Luckily I broke that habit before finding FDS. For the past two years, I’ve only had sex with men after we were exclusive (well, to my knowledge). They’re still LV, but at least I learned how to enforce my boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 08:11 PM
137

Yep, I’ve never accepted free drinks and used to pay for myself on dates because I’m so afraid of feeling “obligated” to a man. But they felt entitled to my body all the same. They got mad when I said no to sex all the same. So what’s the point? Make them pay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 08:07 PM
2

Yeahhh, that’s a no for me, dawg. I’m close to my huge family, I work out and meditate daily, I make 2x more than when I entered the workforce, and I have a dental insurance plan. So if that’s all it takes, I should be drowning in HVM. I haven’t met one. Ehhh, try again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 07:37 PM
8

I’m really sad I’ll likely never get married because of my stance on porn, but I feel so much more at peace than I ever have. No more denying my own boundaries and standards. I’d much rather be single forever than experience the conflict of compromising your integrity and self respect for a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 07:27 PM
2

Wow, she’s so extra. Oops, there I go being like other girls again, silly me. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 07:20 PM
8

Yes! I think this is an overlooked green flag. HVM will find pickmes as ridiculous as we do (without being misogynistic, of course!) I never knew the word for it, but I’ve met women who will do or say anything to impress the men in the room, and it’s always so obvious, but most men I’ve dated don’t see it. Or they love when a woman tries way too hard for their attention, so they deny it. Then half the time they’ll accuse me of being insecure or jealous. Lol no bro, pickmes have nothing that I wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 07:18 PM
1

My LVX only likes photos that he uses for porn. When I was an anxiously attached pickme, I’d look at these profiles and could predict which photos he liked simply based on how provocative they were. Cute photo wearing a hoodie? No like. Photos with less attractive friends or family? No like. Full body pic? Like. Super dark makeup and cleavage? Like. Shows their feet? Like. These weren’t nsfw-focused profiles either. They were random “locals” he found. He just feels entitled to use every woman he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 07:05 PM
6

Oh yeah, it’s cognitive dissonance. I used to be the same way. If I admit that behavior isn’t okay, then maybe my relationship isn’t okay and I want to be in a relationship, so that gives me a funny feeling in my tummy. Better double down and defend shitty behavior /s Finally deciding to stop living my life based on male standards has freed me of any conflicting feelings. I know my worth, I know what I want, and I don’t give a fuck what LVM consider “normal” and “healthy.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 06:48 PM
11

Back when I stupidly creeped on my LVX’s social media, I noticed he posted tons of pictures of his new gf right after we broke up, but suspiciously stopped when she shaved her head and gained weight. He even made a post for their anniversary but only used pictures from the first few months they were together. She’s also a teenager and 10 years younger than him. Poor thing. Wish I could tell her to run or send her FDS posts about creepy older dudes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 06:41 PM
12

Men act like they haaate conflict and “drama” so much, but they love making us angry. They looove getting a reaction. Like how a child will act out just to receive negative attention. The biggest compliment we could give a man is getting upset by his behavior. Never explain, never justify your feelings, never teach them how to treat you right. It doesn’t help and they respect you less. Silence is the only thing that makes an impact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 06:10 PM
17

I was stuck at a bus stop with 5 boys growing up. One day they threw rocks at me and broke my front tooth in half, exposing the nerve. I’ve had several procedures to repair it. My other option was a bus stop with two sisters who mentally tormented me. Of course school admin doesn’t give a crap about bullies. So I didn’t really have a safe place to go. I’ve been a part of two male friend groups and they all made constant sexual remarks to me. Each individual guy either had a crush on me or kinda …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 06:02 PM
11

I mean, we’d be doing the next woman a favor... kidding, I’m kidding. Tooootally kidding. 😇
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 05:51 PM
29

That’s my favorite tenant of The Four Agreements and the one that’s hardest to follow through on: Don’t Take Anything Personally. Whether someone hates you or loves you, compliments you or insults you, it says nothing about you. It only says something about how they view the world. It’s freeing, when I remember to remember it! There’s a reason I always see the good in my partners, and they only focus on the negative in me. Because they’re negative, miserable people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 05:40 PM
38

Because our misogynistic society doesn’t care about women. If men were actually being raped, or even falsely accused of rape, as often as they claim, these rape kits would have been processed a long time ago. Why wouldn’t all these totally innocent men whose poor lives are being ruined by “false” allegations want these rape kits ran? Hmmm 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 05:35 PM
21

Especially if they get away with it. No consequences? No reason to stop. It’s not like they have a conscience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 05:30 PM
110

Oh, 100%. I’m sure he only swipes right on women who look like Instagram influencers he has nothing in common with, some of which are bots, and all of which have literally thousands of men to choose from, but has the nerve to bitch about being alone. I’m out here giving ogres and hobbits a chance, while he can’t lower himself to date a woman with a BMI over 19. Fuck. Off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 05:26 PM
83

I’ve only ever dated men who were unconventionally attractive at best. I’m demisexual, so it never bothered me, but rarely have other women found my partner attractive. Yet they’ve all treated me terribly: abuse, pathological lying, porn addiction, triangulation, gaslighting... they all exhibited at least one of these traits. I strongly believe in the theory that once LVM know they “have” you, they immediately come to the conclusion they’re actually too good for you, value you less, and will sta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 05:19 PM
12

I told a LVM once that I didn’t want to have unprotected sex because the idea of... that dripping out of me was gross. He asked if I couldn’t just pee after to flush it out. I... I just... WHAT!? I bugged my eyes out and asked him if he thinks woman only have two holes down there. He defensively said no, but I think he did. This man is almost 30. Fuckin’ yikes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 12:02 PM
1

I was deeply disappointed and disgusted when I realized the celebrity-focused subreddits, the ones with just their names, are all porn. Wtf is wrong with men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 07:32 PM
3

I’ve been throwing myself into self care/self maintenance recently and have received a few compliments about my appearance. When asked what I’m doing, I told everyone the only change I made was giving up on men 😂 it’s mostly true, though
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 07:11 PM
19

You’re absolutely right. Even in the suburbs, flowers are almost always right by the entrance of grocery stores or by the register at pharmacies and some gas stations. They could make their partner super happy at any time with very little time and money, but they choose not to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:54 PM
3

Even when someone claims to have known a HVM, I’m skeptical. How well did they really know him? Unless you’ve been in close contact with a man for several years and know him in an intimate, personal setting, there’s no way to know. Plus, so many men could treat every single person in their life wonderfully, except the women they’re dating. Like yeah, your next door neighbor might be super nice to a young, attractive woman... but how does he treat his wife? I am admittedly on the very very VERY c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:46 PM
3

A guy once “joked” that giving him a blow job to completion would help my sore throat. Even as a young pickme, I was appalled. Still didn’t dump him though. Good for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:32 PM
27

Thank you! Virtual hugs all around! 💞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:28 PM
7

My mom works in healthcare and just told me about a guy who kept throwing in digs against his wife through the whole appointment (i.e. “are you in any pain today?” “Just my pain in the ass wife” etc) and then tried to hug her before he left. My mom has a misguided reverence for men and even she was disgusted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:23 PM
63

I can’t even begin to express the dangerous levels of pickme I used to display... I figured well, talking isn’t working, so maybe if I show them how I want to be treated, it will sink in. I was painfully, embarrassingly wrong and thankfully I know better now: They know. If they wanted to, they would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:17 PM
61

I love how he’s decided his problem is pretending to care about what a woman is saying. Such an idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 05:34 PM
95

I’d like to remind everyone that Ciara waited until marriage to have sex with Russell, despite the fact that she had sex and a child with other men in the past. It’s never too late to level up and embrace your true value. Clearly, he adores her so it seems to be working out well! A true FDS success story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 05:30 PM
18

I remember being so envious of my friends on VDay a couple years ago because of how sweet and thoughtful their boyfriends were. Well, one of them is a felon who constantly cheats. One ended up being an abusive narcissist. And the other recorded my friend during sex without her permission. So yeah, I’m not really envious about VDay anymore lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 05:26 PM
115

The number of times my mom or friends have given me flowers in the last decade: ~10 The number of times I’ve given men flowers in the last decade: ~5 The number of times a man has bought or sent me flowers: 0 ZERO! It is the quickest, cheapest, most obvious romantic thing to do and none of them have done it. And yes, I have absolutely cOmMuNiCaTeD my desire for flowers to every. single. man. Lazy trash, the lot of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 05:20 PM
51

This is why I believe we should never judge a man’s value based on Valentine’s Day, especially the first one. Going above and beyond IS the bare minimum on (at least) this one day a year and they know it. Don’t judge a man based on the one day that everyone is watching and waiting for him to do something romantic. Don’t judge a man based on the one day he’ll get CREDIT for doing these things. If he treats you that way all year and the next V-Day, cool. You have a HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 05:16 PM
4

I’m finally realizing how this mentality was hardwired in my brain by asking these tough questions... I’ve never dated a man who added value to my life, but I just felt “lucky” that some loser was willing to make me his long term bangmaid. Why are so many women indirectly and insidiously taught this? I adored LVM just for BEING there. Ugh. Long before FDS (oh, those dark days) I got into a discussion with a LVX about why we choose and keep people in our lives. I said I love people for who they A…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 05:07 PM
157

“Hey bros... you know all those annoying traits your girlfriend has like intelligence and compassion? Let me tell you how you can use that to your advantage! Remember: if we can exploit it, it’s okay.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 03:14 PM
10

I’ve always swiped left on men with a bunch of women in their pictures, but now I understand the reason it’s good practice. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 03:12 PM
7

Exactly. I am fucking sick of them having their cake and eating it too. Are all men naturally attracted to teenagers or should men be allowed to continue working with underage children? PICK. ONE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:58 AM
72

Yeahhh, other women have become quite uncomfortable when I tell them I dumped my LVX because of porn. Many of them just stare blankly, waiting for me to elaborate. The only man I told was my (EX) therapist and he basically said it wouldn’t have been an issue if I didn’t know about it. Sorry, I’m not following the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy in a romantic relationship that could potentially last years. I want to know and accept a man fully or I want to be alone. Those are the options. I decide…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 05:38 PM
29

Men use this logic against women all the time on Reddit, but I just don’t think it’s true both ways. Women usually accuse men of cheating because they’re doing some shady shit. I’ve never cheated, but I’ve been suspicious many times. Just food for thought.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 09:19 PM
107

I’ve always immediately unfollowed exes and LVM, but I finally had to take this step with “friends” a couple years ago. They would all do stuff together without inviting me and then shamelessly post about it online. It upset me every time. So I deleted them and deleted the extra stress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 09:15 PM
64

I kid you not, this is my FAVORITE episode of Adventure Time. Lately I keep thinking “No, brah. The princess don’t date” in regards to myself. PBubs is my idol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 07:06 PM
50

I think it’s perfectly acceptable to shame the other woman when it’s confirmed that she knew the man was taken. LVW are just as worthless and deserving of criticism as LVM. If we’re completely taking the other woman off the hook, we’re approaching the “he wouldn’t have cheated if he was satisfied” territory.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 04:03 PM
211

Oh okay, it’s addiction when women masturbate and use porn every, but not men. Okay. Cool. Fuck men and their hypocritical perpetual victim complex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 03:50 PM
2

Right!! It’s all just tactics to make us keep our mouth shut about the way they treat us. Not anymore, boys. The truth is out here and so are we.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 02:25 PM
35

My coworker is 50 (though she looks 40 on a bad day) and let me tell you, she has men from 25-60 figuratively lining up. She’s always dating a few people at once and she doesn’t even kiss these men. She usually ignores their texts most of the time and they just keep coming back. There is no wall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 02:15 PM
7

This is amazing. I’m turning 30 in five months and I can’t fucking wait. I currently have a 10 page glow up plan that’s already been set in motion! Covers everything: body, skin, makeup, wardrobe, attitude, body language, environment, diet, good habits, self care, etc. I’m so excited to leave my trash ass 20s behind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 02:12 PM
2

Ugh I can’t even open threads that feature a woman anymore. It’s always about her appearance, even if that’s not the purpose of the post. I hate LVM. Truly, madly, deeply.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 02:01 PM
5

I’ve commented this elsewhere, but it’s absolutely disgusting that they think men abandoning, neglecting, and abusing their daughters to the point of traumatization is funny, or worse, something to exploit. Can you imagine if women were walking around saying, “Damn, I really wanna find a guy who got beat by his mom so he’ll listen better.” or “Isn’t it hilarious when women abandon their sons and cause irreparable damage??” Do they even hear themselves? It’s cruel and horrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 01:59 PM
115

That subreddit in particular is all you need to prove how men on here (so, majority LVM) see women. Literally every single thread on a woman’s post is either: 1. You’re fat or 2. You’re a slut. WOW, sooo clever. Hope they don’t break their arms patting themselves on the back. They can’t muster up the ability to see women as full people even when insulting us. It’s just “how does she make my dick feel.” Pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 01:50 PM
6

I don’t have children, but I work with several mothers who were discussing childbirth the other day. A few of them said the epidural caused their upper body to shake uncontrollably and no one ever warned them that could happen. Just a heads up for anyone wanting to go that route, since no one told them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 02:26 AM
11

...and what exactly do they do for us again? Most men don’t even know how to fix a car or repair a sink nowadays. Anything they can do, we can do better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 02:12 AM
48

I switched from waxing to trimming when I realized this. If a man is repulsed by secondary sex characteristics, he has pedophilic tendencies and I don’t want him anywhere near me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 02:01 AM
50

I think most girls/women experience gender dysphoria at some point. Whether it’s strapping down our breasts because we developed too early or only hanging with guys because “girls are too much drama” or hating the way our body looks because it doesn’t compare to photoshopped images... self acceptance is an uphill battle for many of us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 11:30 AM
71

Ugh my last LVX thinks he’s sooo perfect and suuuch a “good guy” when in reality he’s the final straw that pushed me into celibacy. Imagine how shitty of a partner you have to be for someone to go, “yep, that’s it. I can’t date anymore.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 11:56 PM
74

And if they realize you’re a woman, everything you say is immediately discredited in their eyes. I love when a man accidentally gives me respect because he didn’t know I was a woman. Gotcha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 11:52 PM
7

As someone who loves to compliment and encourage others, this is one of the saddest truths I’ve had to accept. e: and then I have to see those annoying threads about how men “never receive compliments.” 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 09:21 PM
21

Oh yeah, this was before I found FDS so I let him walk all over me. I understand why he’d think that’s appropriate, but not anymore! New woman, who dis?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 08:30 PM
21

Sometimes I feel entirely overwhelmed and hopeless that misogyny is so woven into every culture. It’s going to take several generations to fix, if it even can be fixed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 08:05 PM
56

My LVX reached out to me for comfort and had the nerve to say he’s only talking to me out of desperation. Wow. Thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 07:53 PM
34

Yup. I’m finally starting to notice how many “normal” things are actually just a result of men having the power to set societal expectations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 07:50 PM
26

110%. They all see themselves as the star of their personal indie romance, just awaiting their manic pixie dream girl or “big tiddy goth gf” to fall in their lap and do everything for them. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 12:04 PM
11

The appeal of dating for women is going out, dressing up nice, meeting someone new, maybe trying some nice cuisine, hopefully having good conversation. For LVM, “dating” is a means to an end. It’s just pretending to be a different person until they get their dick wet. They don’t see us as people; our personalities are just a puzzle they need to solve to get us naked. It’s gross. Do they honestly think we’re pimping ourselves out for one free meal? We want someone to respect and value us. That’s …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 04:01 AM
7

Hey, gotta hand it to my LVX. He may have been addicted to porn, but he also followed his little sister’s nsfw instagram page sooo at least he’s consistent? /s 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 03:42 AM
143

The last LVM I dated was much heavier than I am and had some pretty significant facial scarring, but I was constantly talking him up and telling him how handsome he is and how great his body looks, etc. Unfortunately he was disappointed with me because I didn’t look like his preferred porn material. Even when dating someone objectively more attractive than they are, they’ll still lament that they don’t have someone hotter. I’m siiiiiick of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 02:58 AM
28

I can’t even imagine that kind of “wholesome” guy existing anymore. I’ve only ever witnessed all of those traits when being lovebombed. The real personality shows through eventually. Sigh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 10:00 PM
119

Literally everything they say about women is projection! I see it everywhere now. They assume women are shallow because they’re shallow. They assume we must be using them because they only use us. They think everything we do is for their attention because everything they do is for our attention. They think we’re all trying to “trap them” because they’re desperately lonely. I can’t believe it’s taken this long to realize it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 09:03 PM
5

I completely agree!! I would never claim to know a man’s value better than his partner and I’m genuinely happy for people who are satisfied in their relationships. I’ve just never experienced it and I’ve dated a lot. Like, A LOT. I probably went on... 30 or 40 first dates in my 20s? Yikes. I went on a second date with maybe 10 of them, only ended up regularly dating 6 of them. I’ve dated men who are tall, short, fat, skinny, muscular, smart, silly, stoners, drinkers, fun, serious, educated, voca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 07:57 PM
0

That doesn’t make any sense. If women are landing men in their league for relationships, then those same men are landing women in their league... right? Plus most men think they “deserve” to date an attractive woman regardless of their own appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 05:00 PM
5

Absolutely. I’m still working on deprogramming myself from regular porn exposure and being a bedroom pickme. It’s empowering to explore and discover what our true preferences are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 01:33 AM
9

As I mentioned, I was drawn to the idea of total honesty. The poly community tries to portray itself as this utopia of communication and I was tired of men lying about the stupidest shit. But they lie, manipulate, and triangulate just as much. After my experience, I would never date a man who was even “open” to non-monogamy. If monogamy is too difficult for someone, they’re too weak willed for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 01:26 AM
89

They blame women for everything, but when they can’t blame women, their only option is... uhhh... some evil mystery entity that’s out to get men. But not men. No no no. Remember: men are always the victim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 08:48 PM
6

Triangulation is bringing a third party into the relationship to manipulate the situation in some way: comparing you to an ex to make you jealous, blaming his friends for cancelling plans so he doesn’t have to take responsibility, causing animosity between you and his mom so it feels like two women are fighting over him. From Wikipedia: It also refers to a form of splitting in which one person manipulates a relationship between two parties by controlling communication between them. Triangulation…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 08:40 PM
10

Poly is wonderful... in theory. But after dabbling for a year, I can confirm it undeniably attracts narcissists who are addicted to attention and negligent cheaters who are sick of hiding their indiscretion. Personally I was looking for something open and honest. Unfortunately that’s not a guarantee. I also know of someone who claims to be in a healthy “throuple” but it’s clearly one person pulling the strings on their groupies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 07:53 PM
20

lol I believed the last LVM who said he was a “people pleaser” despite the fact that he wouldn’t compromise a single thing about his life or routine to “please” me. Interesting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 07:47 PM
22

She looks like a complete idiot who’s happily accepting the bullshit this LVM is feeding her. Maybe if he isn’t mature enough to cut ties with an “abusive” ex on his own, he shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 07:43 PM
11

I completely agree. How many women pursue anal penetration without prompting from a man, for the benefit of a man, or regular exposure to it from porn? Very, very few. If a woman never watched porn or dated a man and just decided to put something in her ass one day, cool. That’s her choice. Otherwise, there’s a good amount of social conditioning involved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 07:12 PM
68

Speaking as a former libfem, so many of the principles are based in a world that doesn’t exist. Yeah, I’d love to live in a utopia where women aren’t constantly objectified and used for sex, but that’s not reality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 06:58 PM
57

That’s the worst thing about every break up, knowing they’ve been planning this for weeks or months, telling you they love you and letting you be vulnerable and have sex with them. It’s disgusting and deceitful. It is rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 06:54 PM
20

Seriously!! I also treat men and women with equal respect despite my terrible experiences with the former, which is not true for men at ALL. Every guy is their buddy and every woman is either fuckable or negligible, no in-between.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 06:40 PM
13

That’s how I feel... I wouldn’t describe any man as HV because I don’t know their internet search history.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 06:36 PM
48

Wow this is exactly my experience. I have dated every “genre” of dude there is, except for stereotypical “Chads,” and they all start out okay when they want sex, but eventually get bored and start their micro-narcissisms (that’s not a thing, I just made it up lol) until I get upset and try to cOmMuNiCaTe. I finally learned to just walk away thanks to FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 06:31 PM
79

Agreed! FDS displays intersectionality in a really awesome way. We don’t shy away from discussing things like politics, religion, or race, but almost every thread I’ve seen is mature and civil. I truly don’t believe we’re defined by any one social group, aside from “women who are sick of men’s shit.” Interesting how one of the most rational, eloquent, and respectful communities on Reddit doesn’t allow men. 🧐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 01:05 AM
16

That’s true! Men have been violating women long before porn was easily accessible, but it’s certainly making the problem worse. I believe the more porn a man watches, and the earlier in life he starts, the more likely he is to ignore the distinction between real life and “fantasy,” and see all women through a sexually charged lens. Especially when young men don’t consume healthy media featuring women, or have girl friends, or interact with the women in their family... the majority of the “data” …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 12:45 AM
38

Yeah, I think it’s okay to have multiple FDS “camps.” Some women who believe they’ll find a HVM, some who believe they won’t, and some who don’t believe they exist at all. And it’s all okay. I’ve never met a HVM and don’t intend to look for one, so for all intents and purposes, they don’t “exist” in my life. I think there are probably about 1 HVM for every HVW, and if I’m being honest with myself, I’m not super HV. There are many women who are more educated, financially stable, beautiful, fit, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 11:12 PM
9

Ever since dating a guy with a foot fetish, I think they’re absolutely reprehensible. When my friends would take off their shoes, he’d hone in on their feet. I wanted to tell my friends so they could protect themselves, but I was too embarrassed. I saw a comment from a LVM on Reddit talking about how his foot fetish developed when his female friend would come over in high school and take her shoes off and how it felt “intimate.” I called him out on sexualizing someone who thought he was her frie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 11:01 PM
5

Unfortunately that’s how it is with so many issues like this. Men play dumb and act like it’s a tiny thing, but they know. They loooove this gray area, where they know they’re pissing you off but get to call you crazy if you show it. Another example is not responding to texts. Sure, it may be a generally innocent mistake to make. But when men do it to the women they’re dating, they know it’s shady. They’re very aware.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 10:43 PM
77

I just can’t imagine ever thinking, “yeah, this guy is totally worth the energy of constant vetting.” They’re just not. And even if they were, how do you really know? Even after being together for 10, 20 years, how do you really know? You can’t, unless you’re monitoring them like a child. Pass. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: even “HVM” aren’t worth it to me anymore. No offense to anyone on here, but reading the “HV” stories makes me think, “meh.” It’s always laughable compared to the t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 10:13 PM
44

Yeah I was just thinking it’s not even worth expressing your boundaries on this matter. They won’t change and you’ll always wonder. I agree with FDS principles that porn users are automatically LV. This was actually the last tenant of FDS I accepted. I was really resistant to it, so I understand if other women feel similarly. I had spent years brainwashing myself and allowing others to brainwash me into thinking it was okay. Plus, it’s scary. Having this standard drastically limits the number of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 08:36 PM
48

Yes! Did you see the 6 inches, 6 figures, 6ft thing? I’ve never sought out any men for their height, salary, or dick size! I don’t even ask for numbers. They’re ridiculous. They want to pretend women care about things they have no control over so they can shirk personal responsibility. If they admitted that women are looking for a supportive, loving, faithful, honest, self aware, emotionally intelligent man, they’d have to actually work on themselves. This way they just get to whine about what s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 08:15 PM
24

My ex (who very likely had BPD or NPD) would accuse me of intentionally trauma bonding (despite the fact that only he was verbally abusive) or causing Stockholm syndrome. I’m assuming these are things he’s been accused of before, so he flipped it around before I could call him out. He forgot about me in 6 minutes and I’m still working through it 6 months later, soooo it’s pretty clear who got the shit end of the trauma bond deal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 08:05 PM
55

It seems like DARVO and other narcissistic traits are so common in men. I’m not even claiming most men have diagnosable, clinical narcissism. But they certainly follow the handbook when it comes to dealing with women. Selective narcissism, is that a thing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 08:01 PM
53

I think deep down, men feel an inherent entitlement to women’s bodies, especially if they’ve already spent money or time on a woman. Their default mode is, “I deserve to cum, whenever, wherever, and however I want.” Anything that gets in the way is a nuisance and will be justified away (i.e. she said no but her clothes/expressions/actions were “asking for it”) I truly believe this is caused by their constant, immediate access to porn. But I’m no expert.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 07:54 PM
97

Oh I’d say that number is way higher, especially if you make the criteria “asked again after woman said no” or “made a move despite the woman making it clear before or during the date that she was not interested in having sex.” If I tell a man, “I don’t kiss on the first date” and he tries to kiss me, that’s sexual assault. End of story. I’m sick of men playing innocent or dumb. If a woman says no once, wait until she says yes twice. It’s not difficult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 07:41 PM
47

I’ve read on here to never share your traumatic history with men and the more I understand men, the more I understand why. Say a woman has a history of being cheated on and shares that with the guy she’s seeing. We view this as opening up and letting them know us. Men see this as a free pass to be as shady as they want. Because now, any jealousy or insecurity on the woman’s part can be hand-waved away by her “trust issues” or whatever buzz word he wants to use. It’s not him; she’s just overreact…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 09:42 PM
16

Yeah, maybe she enjoyed the part where he was pretending to be a decent human. She didn’t have all the facts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 09:31 PM
24

That is absolutely hilarious. Even throughout the divorce, he expected you to do all the work. What an idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 02:00 PM
6

This brings me so much delight. And what’s sad is that money doesn’t even matter to most of these women aside from paying for their child’s necessities. They agreed to marriage because they wanted a loving, supportive, equal partnership. But men? Men care about money. So this hurts them more than the actual divorce. It’s the only restitution we get for the shit they put us through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 01:57 PM
15

I had this idea yesterday, that all men should calculate their BMI, and then figure out how much women who have that BMI weigh. I’m so sick of overweight and obese men thinking they all deserve some woman who’s <120lbs (even though that doesn’t even take height or weight distribution into account). Then they STILL have the nerve to cry victim and claim dating is so much harder for men. Yeah, okay. There’s no woman equivalent for “dad bod.” I’ve argued with men claiming that this couple from 90 D…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 01:35 PM
9

This is great advice. It’s impossible to know what his response to rejection will be if you always give in to his demands... I recently realized I’ve almost always said yes to men because I’m deathly afraid of being raped and I can’t get raped if I don’t say no, right? It’s horrifying how much that risk informs so many of our decisions and we don’t even know it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 04:19 AM
119

I was told by my abusive boyfriend at 17 that he preferred the sex sounds his ex made (“like high pitched whining”) and instructed me on how to change accordingly. Took me over 10 years to break that habit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 04:06 AM
13

I stopped seeing a male therapist after he shamed me for dumping my pornsick ex. He made the claim that his porn use wouldn’t have been a problem if I didn’t know about it. So we should lie to ourselves? Ignorance is bliss? Nah. I told him my opinion on porn use was completely valid and that I should probably look for another therapist. The LV porn addict was actually a therapist too! He admitted to referring women out when he wants to fuck them. Cute, huh? I wouldn’t recommend sharing your trau…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 05:33 PM
4

THEY KNOW 😤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 04:52 PM
8

No, no, not his ex wife — “the ex wife” smh so dehumanizing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 04:42 PM
5

While Adam Driver is a great actor, I couldn’t understand why so many people loved and defended his character. He disgusted me, especially in the first two seasons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 04:40 PM
39

It was life changing to realize everything I loved about my previous relationships were all things that I brought to the table. The laughter, great sex, romance... that was pretty much all me. The stress, confusion, anxiety... all them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 04:36 PM
23

I know of a LVM who dated a woman for 10 years, cheated on her with his ex the entire time, finally got married and conceived a child, then left before she had the baby. Now he’s dating the ex. Lucky her /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 04:32 PM
54

Plus many women would have a much lower “body count” if men didn’t lie, manipulate, or straight up pretend to be a different person in order to sleep with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 04:26 PM
7

The sad truth is, even if HVM exist, there just aren’t enough for every HVW to end up happily married. I’ve accepted that I’m not personally willing to vet the rest of my life or put in the effort to “train” a man to treat me well. I love my life and it really excites me that I can plan the next month, year, or decade because there’s no need to factor in making room or changing my routine for a man. I’ve created a deeply rewarding self care and wellness regimen. My physical and mental health are…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 04:18 PM
22

Same. At first I thought I’d take a year off, but now I can’t imagine going back. I fully support other women who want to keep trying, but I don’t think I could completely trust a man again. Most of them just use women for sex. Yeah, some will call you their girlfriend and let you drag them along in a “relationship,” but in reality they’re contributing the minimum amount of effort possible in exchange for regular sex. The moment it gets slightly too “difficult” or sex is off the table or someone…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 04:02 PM
59

When I found out my 30 year old ex started dating a recent high school graduate, I initially attributed my disgust to pettiness. But then I thought about if I were in that situation, and the idea of dating or having sex with a literal teenager is absolutely appalling. The worst part is that this guy’s “baby sisters” are 2-4 years older than his girlfriend. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 07:14 PM
16

Oh man, I got gaslighting-induced frustration just from reading that. It’s refreshing to finally understand... THEY KNOW. It’s so common, too. I don’t understand how someone can be so intentionally cruel. Breadcrumbing is terrible, but the subsequent crazy making is even worse. Don’t give them the opportunity!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 06:56 PM
76

Joke’s on them in the end because we continue elevating ourselves and they’re still in the dirt. The majority of women are way too good for the majority of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 06:47 PM
22

Ugh. It just makes me so angry. I’ve spent years acknowledging my faults, working on self improvement, and learning to admit when I’m wrong. It’s like men have been doing the opposite this whole time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 06:31 PM
32

Why can’t they just admit when they’re wrong? Holy shit. It’s always DARVO with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 05:16 PM
24

Same. I’ve become impressively direct and clear, but nothing seems to help. I truly believe a lot of men are stuck in that childhood mentality of, “NO! I’m not going to do that because you WANT me to do it!” And put up a resistance to anything you request.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 11:48 AM
80

Agreed. LVM are only motivated by sex and power. Selfless acts of kindness do not compute.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 02:23 AM
69

My best guess is that he’s still deeply bitter about his ex leaving him for someone else after he suggested being “open,” so now he’s taking it out on other women or trying to get back at her by being promiscuous. Honestly I wish they were all so obviously broken. Makes it much easier to move on. He seriously must be a psychopath or filled to the brim with self hatred.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 02:15 AM
336

Well, the first step is having a genuine, selfless desire to see the person you love smile. Once men figure that out, they’re golden. P.S. your relationship sounds really cute and I’m happy you have each other ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 01:26 AM
44

Absolutely. It was the first time a guy love bombed me with actions instead of just words so I didn’t see the truth. It won’t happen again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 01:22 AM
218

NVM knew I wouldn’t have sex until we were exclusive, so he pushed and pushed for a relationship. I noticed his profile only said “looking for hookups” and could’ve sworn it said long term dating when we first matched. Because I don’t match with hookup-only guys. He said it was an old profile or some BS and I actually believed it. He dumped me a week after we had sex. Always believe your gut over anything a man says. ALWAYS. e: to add, this dickhead courted me for weeks and cooked me several thr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 10:57 PM
78

Embarrassingly enough, I tried Seeking Arrangements once and the only guy I talked to tried to scam me. 😂 He straight up asked for my banking account info. I want to believe most women wouldn’t fall for that, but it’s still not a safe space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 10:49 PM
80

Phrases that make me scream internally: “It’s biology!” “Men are visual creatures!” “It’s just a fantasy!” “Accctually men’s brains haven’t changed much”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 04:59 PM
14

I got a bidet for Christmas and it’s magical. So fresh and so clean, clean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 12:22 PM
16

To be fair, if men could lick their own assholes, they probably would. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 12:20 PM
29

We’re instructed to change; men are instructed to lie. Smh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 12:14 PM
28

One time a guy was late to our coffee “date” so I bought his coffee. Just... why. The memory is physically painful at this point. I’m so ashamed of my former pickme self.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 11:37 PM
20

Because they’re full of shit and falsely polite, just like work emails.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 11:33 PM
14

This is so sad, I almost had to laugh. I can’t imagine any man reading that and having some grand epiphany about women’s dating experiences. Because they ignore anything that disputes their perpetual victim mentality. No matter how good men have it, it’s never good enough. It doesn’t matter how much power or control they already have; they want more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 11:32 PM
16

I had a feeling this would be a consequence of FDS, that men would just lie to fit our standards, but I didn’t think they’d be so obvious about it. Eh, who cares. We’re clearly smart enough to see through these idiots.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 11:18 PM
23

Yeah, wtf? I’ve never heard of that sentiment anywhere, much less FDS. I only ever hear the gold digger trope when people are trying to bash FDS. Because they have to make things up to criticize us. But clearly, making things up is all they know how to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 11:13 PM
29

I feel like a lot of my LV exes have thought of me as the average woman who’ll take their shit (but then I don’t — oops). I’d be completely crushed if my partner felt this way about me and openly, proudly admitted it. Why is he trapping this poor woman? Why can’t he let her go and find someone who truly appreciates her? This is cruel and repulsive. I’m so angry. I wish I could help her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 11:01 PM
82

During the last conversation I had with an ex, he said he felt suicidal. I encouraged him to seek therapy. He told me he’d rather spend his money on electronics. Cool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 10:53 PM
6

Women are also much more comfortable with “loneliness” because men don’t positively contribute to our lives. Men take way more than they give. The reverse is true as well. Men struggle with loneliness more because women are a positive contribution to their lives. Plus it’s usually their fault they’re alone, but they don’t want to admit it or work on their issues. How many men do you know that pore over self help books trying to figure out what’s “wrong” with them? Yeahhhh, not many.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:04 PM
8

Wow you really summed it up. They think women’s lives are inherently better... because men want to have sex with us. Maybe they should just go fuck themselves, literally and figuratively.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 08:59 PM
5

We are conditioned to be kind and gentle if a man shows tender emotion. They know this. That’s why they always sprinkle in some crocodile tears and self pity with their confessions. “No no no you can’t be mad. You have to feel bad for me! Me me me!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 08:53 PM
17

My mom, aunts, and grandma have all been single since their 30s or 40s. They’ve never once complained about it or even discussed the possibility of dating. The only “dating advice” they’ve ever given me was my grandma telling me to always have my own savings and never depend on a man for anything. I have no clue how I became such a pickme with such amazing influences around. Maybe they didn’t want to impart their “cynicism” onto me, because I feel similarly about my nieces, but I really wish the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 08:48 PM
48

Thank you. I truly feel like I’ve been raped by every man who lied about their personality and character beforehand. Thinking about sex with them after discovering the truth turns my stomach and I have to block it out. Also, women are responding positively to men pretending to be a good person. We don’t KNOW they’re lying. Many of us are honest to a fault and tend to assume the same in others. It’s not our fault that the truth about men tends to be terrible. The way he phrased it makes me so ang…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 12:31 AM
41

Have you continued dating while celibate? Is the experience more pleasant or can it attract weirdos/liars?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 12:27 AM
4

Both archetypes solely exist to serve the man, as well. Their entire identity (in a man’s eyes) is what they can provide.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 01:47 PM
9

My porn addict ex told me he thought guys who think about their girlfriends while masturbating are “serial killers” and it finally makes sense if you apply the Madonna/whore complex. This guy had deeeeep mommy issues. Plus, that’s probably indicative of the messed up stuff he looks at/thinks about when masturbating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 01:45 PM
12

Absolutely. This is why I’m done. I haven’t “given up on love” or whatever. But I finally accept how much work it takes to find a HVM and you know what? I did the math and he’s not worth it. Yup, even a HVM is not worth this stress to me. No man is worth this shit. I’m done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 01:12 PM
173

Exactly. If our “privilege” has to be supplied by men, then it’s just another way for them to control us. Almost every example of “female privilege” is actually just men making decisions based on their desire to fuck us. But somehow that’s women’s fault...? Ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 01:06 PM
28

Exactly!! Damn I’m still working on catching things like that. He didn’t say, “I’m not by my phone often,” or “I don’t see her texts for awhile.” He’s seeing her text and intentionally not opening it, not reading it, or not responding. What the fuck is wrong with them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 11:57 PM
11

You bring up a great point. These scrotes know insta influencers wouldn’t touch their crusty ass. That’s why they simultaneously fawn over beautiful women while shaming them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 03:26 PM
14

Having seen multiple women in my family get cheated out of spending time with their children by bitter, greedy men, this is one of the most infuriating false myths for me. Men don’t get custody because they don’t WANT custody. And most of the time, when they go for custody, it’s only to spite the mother or reduce their child support payments. My sister’s ex took her to court to allow his girlfriend (who had been charged with abusing her own children in the past, btw) to watch my niece while he w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 03:19 PM
17

Please keep these OLD posts coming so I never reinstall!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 02:46 PM
15

I just can’t imagine lying to someone who cares about me for months or years without any remorse. Their sense of self preservation is stronger than any desire for love and connection. I don’t know how they do it. I think this is why I’ve naively assumed good intentions in men, because how could someone be THAT heartless? How could someone look into the eyes of the person who loves them, smile, and lie? Even about something as “small” as chores. It’s revolting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 02:41 PM
37

Exactly! This distinction really cleared things up for me. I am totally fine with my partner finding other people attractive. But I’m not okay with my partner intentionally searching for naked pictures of attractive people or worse, trying to interact with them. There’s a big difference. No one should be shamed for having that boundary, especially when we’re only expecting the same exact energy we’re giving out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 11:39 PM
8

Can you imagine how many sexual assaults could have been prevented if that site stayed active? It’s a damn shame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 10:28 PM
53

Seriously!! I had this realization even in my pickme days. Women are told to play all these games: “giving up” sex at the exact right time, not letting them get away with stuff without being “bitchy,” don’t act TOO interested, but don’t be cold either. Any wrong move and the man will run! /s Men just have to pretend to like someone. That’s it. They say nice things and pretend to be a normal human who wants a loving relationship and they’re in. They can even ignore you for a couple days, then com…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 07:45 PM
64

If I were the mother, I’d take this video to a lawyer and see what we could do about taking away his rights as a father and preventing him from ever having access to my child again. Fuck this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 07:09 PM
8

Oooh I love your offer. Wish we could make private, region-specific subs where we warn each other about certain men. There was a website like that once but it was considered doxxing or slander or something? Just another way to stop women from protecting themselves and others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 06:57 PM
6

The way she absolutely destroyed him without skipping a beat in the game was masterful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 06:53 PM
17

I know good looks or style wouldn’t excuse this behavior, but omg how in the world did we get to the point where men wearing baggy khakis with no socks think they deserve sex with no effort? WTAF. Whenever guys start their messages with “wanna hook up?” “Wanna cuddle?” “Wyd tonight?” I really want to respond with “does this actually work ever? Because you aren’t nearly attractive enough to be this lazy.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 06:37 PM
28

If a guy suggests breaking up, he doesn’t care if you break up. That’s all the reason you need to leave. I’m willing to bet guys who say this actually WANT to break up and are hoping you’ll take the bait. Do it. You’re better off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 06:12 PM
5

Yes I absolutely agree! I’m also working on becoming more secure because that’s where the healthy boundaries are at! I think you hit the nail on the head, though: avoidant types often don’t WANT to change because they don’t really desire long term arrangements, don’t really care about hurting others, and don’t “feel” it when they lose someone anyway. I think there’s probably a lot of overlap with avoidant types and narcissism, but I’m not an expert.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 06:04 PM
10

This is beautiful. I really love the first point. After an abusive relationship in my late teens, I stopped doing all the things I loved to do. I started questioning myself and lost sight of the future. 10 years later, I’m finally coming back to myself and realizing I actually had way stronger boundaries and a healthier mentality at 16. With my first boyfriend, I asked him to stop watching porn, I asserted my physical boundaries, and I demanded he put effort into keeping the romance alive. Then …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 05:59 PM
11

I work in a company with majority women and a couple men toward the top (of course). A coworker confided in me that on a work trip, these men got drunk and were openly talking about who they’d have sex with at work. One guy even promoted his “number one” woman to work directly with him. Oh yeah, and both of these men are married. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 05:46 PM
11

That monologue really sums it up. Reading that was probably the moment I started to realize, “wait... other women feel this way too? ‘Cool girls’ don’t really exist??” 🤯 Side note, the comments on the YouTube clip of the monologue are very FDS focused! Love to see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 05:27 PM
5

Now that I’ve given up on dating for the foreseeable future, I’ve thrown myself into self care and beauty culture. It’s the best feeling ever to know that I’m becoming my ideal self and don’t have to worry about some dude trying to drag me down or compare me to his porn stash. We could literally be in the best shape of our lives and still not measure up for these scrotes because we have average proportions. LVM have terrible taste in women. Their opinion is worthless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 05:23 PM
3

I was recently trying to think of any HVM role models in TV or movies nowadays and it’s really sparse. I honestly can’t think of any, but Captain America is fairly close. Although I’m sure LVM contribute his popularity only to his muscles and not his respectable nature.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 05:05 PM
11

I recently started watching SVU and there was a case where a wife and mistress were both so devoted to this guy, even knowing about each other. I realized that in my pickme days, I would have been thinking about which woman I’d rather be and who “won” in that situation. LOL gross. Now all I could think is, “Why do you want this trash!? Why the hell are you going to bat for a guy who doesn’t even respect you!?” It’s mind boggling. There’s no reason to stay with a cheater or even a man who wants t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 04:08 PM
50

Yeah, I would strongly discourage dating anyone with an avoidant attachment style. Instead of recognizing, understanding, and explaining their feelings, they just shut down and shut you out. The more they care, the more distant they become. And it works for them! Because anxious types (you know, the ones who are honest about their feelings and actually care about the relationship and have empathy) will keep running after them because they’re just “hurt.” I have spent way too much time trying to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 03:08 PM
45

We are all fed this lie, that it’s our fault. If not for FDS, I’d still be thinking this. I’d still be trying to “fix” myself to be good enough for LVM. It’s ridiculous. I’ve been told over and over again that I have “trust issues.” Turns out that’s true, except my issue was that I trusted men way too easily. Not anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 02:31 PM
38

I think men immediately see themselves as a “good guy” if they’re not getting laid, despite the fact that their view of women is just as damaging and toxic as the “chads” they envy. I seriously believe their thought process is, “well I just watch really degrading porn and sexualize/romanticize all of my female friends and I think I deserve a super hot woman despite putting no effort into my appearance and I do absolutely nothing to contribute to the wellbeing of women, BUT I’m a nice guy because…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 02:21 PM
9

Yes yes yes! Absolutely! A LV lurker messaged me to say “men don’t have individualized personalities because that’s not what gets women.” I ignored it, but a few things stood out. He didn’t deny anything else I said in my post (lol). the “alpha male” doesn’t impress women; it only impresses other men. Or it’s what men think women want. even if women were into that, the charade only lasts long enough to get in their pants. Having an individualized personality absolutely helps if they actually wan…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 11:41 AM
4

lol I admit I’ve been so burned by porn addicts lately, the no fap intrigued me, but I know that ideology usually comes with a whoooole bag of nope. It’s usually just some weird egocentric masculinity thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 01:29 AM
18

I took it for a few months this year and it did help with my cramps, but it’s not worth the health risks for me personally. Plus men were way more pushy about not using a condom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:32 AM
5

This one guy on tinder had something about “alpha male” and “no fap” in his bio. I was kinda curious, so when he messaged me, I said, “So what? You’re like, really into Jordan Peterson or something?” He said something like, “huh?? No way! I’m my own man 💪“ lol okayyy bro... unmatch
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:29 AM
8

The most self-obsessed, manipulative, and emotionally empty man I’ve dated is also the cutest, kind-eye-having, little baby bird of a person. I still have trouble shaking that image of him after the gaslighting and verbal abuse he put me through. Scary shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:23 AM
2

I’ve suspected an ASD or ADHD diagnosis for myself, with maybe a dash of cPTSD for good measure, but I’m nervous that if I suggest a specific diagnosis to a therapist, they’ll either be skeptical or biased. My history and symptoms could apply to so many conditions, but I’ve taken multiple ASD evaluations online (not the best source, I know) and they’ve been conclusive so far. Is there a certain type of therapist or doctor it would be best to pose this suggestion to?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:14 AM
14

Yes!! This was such a powerful revelation. I would lament over losing someone that I could talk to for hours or laugh with until we cried or have great sex with, but then realized those things happen in most of my relationships, because I was the one supplying that positive energy in the first place. So there’s no doubt we’ll find it again with a HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:08 AM
8

Wow, this really hit home. This year I’m finally learning how to have confidence in my own perceptions and choices. I’ve always observed other people or asked for second opinions on my own feelings. It’s been freeing to realize no one else can know what’s right for me, aside from me. My opinion about myself is the only one that really matters now. As embarrassing as this is to admit, I think a part of me had been waiting for some guy to show up and really “see” me, understand me, believe in me. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:03 AM
7

I recently watched Pride & Prejudice for the first time in a few years and didn’t enjoy it as much. I was hoping Darcy would be dreamy as usual, but I wasn’t feeling it lol I can’t even enjoy fictional men now! Thanks, FDS /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 11:55 PM
35

I think this post is representative of the stage when someone is still deep in the misconception that other women are their competition. So it feels safer to be around men validating them than around other women who threaten them. I think (I hope) this usually happens during the late teens/early 20s and fades with enough exposure to men. I got over it when my “great” group of guy friends met my best friend, all developed a crush on her, stopped inviting me to events, and lied about it. Now none …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 11:03 PM
51

Every single woman I’ve ever met is more complex, interesting, and multifaceted than any man I’ve ever met. Most men are very shallow and similar to each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 10:57 PM
83

Exactly. It’s not intelligence per say; it’s like instinct or a reflex for them by adulthood. They’ve spent their whole lives learning how to take, take, take and cover their own asses by whatever means necessary. They aren’t (all) actively thinking, “I’m going to manipulate this woman to do what I want.” Because 1. they absolutely refuse to see themselves as the bad guy in any situation. They are always the hero or the victim (in their head). And 2. The behavior is so ingrained that it’s not ev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 10:53 PM
52

If a grown man has tiktok, he’s using it for porn. There’s absolutely no way he isn’t looking at the (potentially underaged) women doing “dance challenges” and such. I mean, if you want to risk it, go ahead. But I’d definitely want to see their fyp first. e: for example, I know several men who have never listened to WAP but know exactly what the WAP dance challenge is 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 09:34 PM
39

It’s always 3 months!! I’ve had FIVE 3 month long LV relationships in the last two years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 07:08 PM
1

Ugh good for you for following your intuition! If I had known what an obvious red flag this is, I would have ditched the last guy so much sooner. He asked if he could send me a dick pic (🚩) after we’d been dating for awhile. I’ve been around long enough to know they do this so you feel obligated to reciprocate. So I said yes, and then when he inevitably asked if I felt comfortable sending him a picture back, I said “No, not really.” (A huge step for me as I have a difficult time saying no to men…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 05:54 PM
69

Men who ask for nudes are trash. NO EXCEPTIONS. Best case, they’ll add you to a folder filled with all the other nudes they’ve collected (do you really think you’re the first woman he’s asked and that he’s deleting all the others? 😬) Worst case, revenge porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:54 PM
4

Ahh yes, of course. They must avoid any conclusions that would require them to change or evolve in any way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:50 PM
17

Ew seriously. If I had known my last LVX had an OF account when we met, I would have run far, far away and never looked back. Gross. Any man into OF or cam sites is desperate and/or depraved. If they’re spending money to imagine having sex with someone? They’re never going to stop feeling entitled to immediate sexual gratification or start seeing women as fully formed individuals. They’re too far gone. e: syntax
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:46 PM
3

I can relate to this! I’m not always right about what my gut feeling means, but if I sense something is off, it’s off. I have a bad habit of dating pathological liars and I know when they aren’t being truthful, but I’m not very good at guessing their motivation. Or, for example, I have a bad time identifying when someone is negging me, but I’ll think, “huh, that was a weird thing to say. I don’t like how that made me feel.” Hopefully studying FDS will help me recognize these behaviors for what t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:28 PM
21

I used to think, “men MUST be romantic; they write so many love songs!” uhhh yeah, and 99% of those love songs are about women who don’t want their LV ass
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:19 PM
4

I haven’t tried FB dating, but I do know a HVW who had been single for years and met someone on there. His value is undetermined, but they’ve been together for awhile. That may be a better place to start, anecdotally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:26 PM
9

Ugh, women with boundaries and self respect are such a drag. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:22 PM
10

Men complain about how difficult OLD is for them so much, I can’t help but feel like they’re just settling for the first woman who shows them interest. They all seem so desperate, either for sex or validation. It’s really unattractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:21 PM
10

I went on a date with a guy who had way too much to drink and I regrettably kissed him at the end of it. He messaged me a year later on tinder. Completely forgot we’d ever met. He either has a drinking or dating problem. Probably both. Funny side note, he’s the only guy I’ve ever ghosted, because he was bragging about ghosting someone else on our date. Guess it didn’t make an impression. Oh well lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:14 PM
32

And there’s a heavy implication that you can’t say “no,” because god forbid you make the rapist feel like a rapist. I hate how socialized we are to protect men’s feelings even when they’re actively violating us. I’ve called men out a couple times on crossing boundaries and they always managed to make ME feel guilty by the end of the conversation. LVM have perfected the art of gaslighting and manipulation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:04 PM
17

That’s what I was thinking. It seems like she was frozen in her body. Maybe this treatment triggered her in some way and she lost her sense of personal power.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 05:55 PM
42

Wow you know I’ve never heard a guy say, “I think she just wasn’t that into me.” There’s always some blame, justification, or excuse. Always.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:40 AM
50

It really is all projection!! The thought process is, “hmm I only interact with women to use them, so they must be using me too, but I have literally nothing to offer... oooh! I know! She must be trying to steal the money I don’t have!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:37 AM
174

“Dream girl” translates to “ideal prey” in LVM speak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 10:17 PM
13

Absolutely!! Even now, totally distanced from the relationship and over the LVM, I just feel disgusted and... disappointed, maybe? I can’t respect a man who idealizes women with unnatural proportions or obvious cosmetic alterations or pickme attitudes. We clearly don’t have the same values or priorities in life. Side note, anyone have experience with men still obsessed with “suicide girls” or that stupid big tiddy goth gf meme? If that’s what they’re into, fine. But like... why don’t they just d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 10:09 PM
29

Exactly!! This is it. This is why we can’t let it make us question our own worth. They’re addicted to “variety.” They don’t just prefer ONE super hot woman or super hot body type. Oh no. They want them ALL. They feel entitled to objectify and use any woman, at any time. No individual is ever “good enough” for porn users.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 10:01 PM
5

Well (to put myself in the shoes of a LVM’s wife) I’m guessing the options are A. make the appointment for him now, B. deal with the likely consequences of not treating the problem right away, C. listen to him whine about the issue, or D. Both B & C
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 06:55 PM
9

They also better hope their body or sex drive never changes, because (per reddit relationship advice) men think that’s a valid reason to ditch the person they vowed to love forever as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 06:48 PM
5

I still haven’t fully accepted that we live in a world where young women (most who have numerous other opportunities) are signing up to objectify and sell themselves en masse. It seemed to get so much worse, so quickly in the last year with OF. I can’t comprehend “normal” people being porn stars. How did this happen and how can we possibly go back now?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 06:40 PM
5

did she communicate that babies are not supposed to be on fire? Ugh, ridiculously accurate. I’m laughing, but only to stop myself from crying. Chris Watts is the only name needed to prove that marriage is not the goal. Femicide: Women are most likely to be killed by their partner or ex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 06:20 PM
6

Ugh, the control thing. It finally makes sense why I’ve never been able to just have a pleasant, equal partnership with a man. They need to feel powerful in some way, and if the only way is making you question your worth or sanity, they’ll do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 05:18 PM
19

I respect that, just like some women prefer to remove their body hair, but I think it’s important to acknowledge the misogynistic roots of the practice. e: maybe the practice of applying makeup or beautifying isn’t misogynistic in and of itself, but the modern culture of using 20 different products at once is fueled by “The Beauty Myth.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 05:09 PM
28

This sub, and the mods specifically, are the only reason these truths are starting to come to light. Because for once we don’t have men butting into the conversation and claiming our objective observations are wrong or “illogical.” We’ve been made to feel like we’re crazy when they say “not all men,” because almost all the men we encounter are like this. We’re told it must be OUR fault; we’re just not picking the “nice guys.” The MO on Reddit is divide and conquer when it comes to the concept of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 05:05 PM
10

Thank you. For some of us, life isn’t a gift. It’s a struggle, with some good moments interspersed. I have deep gratitude for many things in my life, but I’m also fighting against mental illness, trauma, generational poverty, etc. That’s why I may foster or adopt to help others who got stuck here too. But I couldn’t, in good conscience, create another person and submit them to all of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 04:15 PM
29

I started saying this a couple years ago... I’m CF, but if I were a man, I’d have five kids and two on the way by now. It’s the best gig ever! They cum and they go. Maybe show up one weekend a month, take the kids to the park, brush their daughter’s hair once — that’s it and they’re a fucking HERO. I’d love to be a dad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 04:08 PM
8

I feel hopeful about my future for the first time because it finally doesn’t matter whether or not a man is part of it. I’m so excited to live my life, and if a HVM comes along, awesome. If not, I’ll be too busy to notice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 11:17 PM
72

Personally, I’ve had to vet harder since losing weight and getting “hot.” Most men I dated when I was fat genuinely appreciated me for me and made me feel so beautiful. Now it’s like they don’t want me to think too highly of myself or something. Or maybe I’m now in the attraction bracket where shallow guys go for me as a status symbol, but still want “better,” whereas before the men I dated didn’t care about looks or status as much. Who knows!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 03:29 PM
46

More and more I’ve been thinking about skipping the man and raising a child myself, whether by adoption or sperm donor. I always thought I needed a partner to take that step, but I’ve accomplished everything else in my life on my own — why would this be any different? I know raising a child is extremely challenging, but I also know way too many mothers who are already doing it on their own (not by choice). Knowing I can move forward without having to rely on a man is so freeing. Are communes for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 03:19 PM
21

This is such an egocentric, narcissistic viewpoint. What makes their scrote genes so special? Oh that’s right, absolutely nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 12:44 AM
6

My LVX (who almost exclusively followed nsfw pages on Instagram) actually broke up with me when I said I wanted to start one myself. He “couldn’t trust me anymore.” To be honest, I was so over the relationship at that point and being a little petty anyway. Luckily the trash took itself out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 11:28 PM
6

Recently, an ex that I haven’t spoken to in TEN YEARS messaged me. This person emotionally abused me (triangulation, gaslighting, isolation, threatening suicide) on a daily basis and physically abused me (biting, pushing, choking, punching) on a weekly basis for a year and a half. His message said, “Hey, I don’t know if I should be talking to you... but anyway, how’s it going?” That’s it. I’m still in therapy for the trauma he caused and that’s all he said. It’s not like he FORGOT what he did to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 11:03 PM
12

I do not understand this. I’m not even hugging family members right now. Why the fuck would I get naked with a complete stranger who could be a literal psychopath?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 10:51 PM
33

It took going to therapy to realize that every single time I’ve slept with someone for the first time, I did it out of obligation or because it was expected of me. Men make it extremely difficult and uncomfortable to say no. I would never want to have sex with someone who wasn’t super excited about it. It’s appalling they can sense a woman’s hesitation and still sleep with her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 10:49 PM
126

Right. Their idea of submission is actually extremely domineering, too. Asking them not to watch porn or check out other women in front of you? That’s being “controlling.” But making all their appointments, doing the laundry, planning the entire wedding, cooking all their meals? That’s “freedom.” They’re full of shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 04:31 PM
8

Even if it were true, who wants to be the “right woman” for a man that has treated other women poorly in the past anyway? I get that the reformed bad boy trope can be appealing, and becoming HV can be a journey for some, but it shouldn’t take the one super duper special woman with endless patience for a man to become a HV partner. He would treat all partners well or become HV on his own instead of expecting some manic pixie dream girl to teach him empathy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 04:25 AM
13

Ugh, that’s horrifying. I absolutely agree! I also have a hard time seeing how convincing someone to have sex with you by pretending to be an entirely different person isn’t a form of sexual assault. There are several men I would have never slept with if they had been honest or upfront with me. It certainly feels like a violation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 01:27 AM
20

Ugh yes!!! Watching their relationship, I was like, “I know this guy will turn out to be an asshole, because I’ve dated him.” When he “happened to” walk her to his apartment... I felt that. The cognitive dissonance of “this is kind of a shady/sleazy thing to do... but he’s so NICE. I’m sure he didn’t mean to upset me” etc etc etc bullshit excuses and rationalizations. But seeing it from the outside is always so obvious. I also didn’t like how he called her a bitch, even jokingly. It really stuck…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 08:19 PM
7

I’ve been keeping an eye on the sub count!! Yeah, some might be LV lurkers, but it’s so inspiring to think each number may be a woman who just discovered her true worth!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 08:08 PM
137

Everything is about power and control with them, isn’t it? I keep forgetting because I’ve never thought that way. They only like transactional relationships when they can feel in charge of the situation. Kinda off topic, but I absolutely hate how men equate using someone for sex with using someone for money. The former is much more contemptible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 08:04 PM
8

Yeah, that’s something I’m working to change too. If the text doesn’t inspire a response, and I have to think about how to respond appropriately, I don’t. Think about how many times a guy just... didn’t respond. Even when presented with a clear question or prompt or something that needs a follow up, they just ignore it. So don’t feel bad for doing the same if they aren’t enthusiastically participating in the conversation! If you respond to those low effort texts, even if you’re being low effort …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 07:47 PM
14

Hey, don’t forget! Some men like killing animals as well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 07:23 PM
73

This is something I’ve been actively un-learning this year. Sex used to be so performative to me. And yes, 99% of the time when I’m moaning, even when I’m genuinely enjoying myself, I am actually thinking, “oh right, I better make noise so his little ego doesn’t get bruised.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 05:39 PM
12

I would love to hear what “moderation” means to him. It’s gross how many men think watching porn at least once a day is totally normal and healthy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:35 PM
20

Once again, I’m shocked by the depths of male depravity. These are concepts I would have never conceived on my own. They’re getting really creative at being disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:33 PM
22

Thank you for this post. I saw a comment that basically implied a LVM is treating the next girl well because she’s “the one” and he just loves her more. I feel like that’s a really damaging message to send to someone who’s experienced trauma at the hands of someone they loved. Saying “whoops, guess he just didn’t love you!” isn’t helpful AT ALL. That’s implying, as you said, that the “right woman” can change a LVM. No. She just puts up with his shit and/or he’s better at manipulating her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:24 PM
208

But jerking it to unattainable women on the internet when you have a loving girlfriend makes total sense??? 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 12:44 AM
80

Yup! He just loves having multiple women vie for his attention. I bet both relationships are very one-sided.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 03:57 PM
115

“Like siblings” ugh I have a hard time trusting anyone who says this. I don’t cuddle in bed with my shirtless brother, but hey, that’s just me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 03:55 PM
54

I was making my family and friends swipe and read messages for me a few years ago. My poor mother “picked out” a guy who ended up having a “best friend” just like this. It broke her heart as much as mine and now she refuses to help me choose a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 03:52 PM
13

Why else would he be saving her photos to jerk off to — uhh I mean, just look at later? Actually, that’d be even weirder. Fuck this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 03:22 PM
5

Yes!! There have been “female friends” that don’t bother me at all and ones I couldn’t tolerate. It’s not a jealousy thing, either. I thought my last LVX’s BFF was absolutely gorgeous and way cooler than I am, but I could tell there was nothing weird between them. There have been so many times in my life where I’ve found out I was right about something or someone, even years later. Your intuition always knows.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 03:20 PM
12

Exactly! Because it’s all the same to men. Girls = women. That way, they can choose whether they want to sexualize or infantilize us at any given time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 02:56 PM
11

If I ever hear a man say “it’s just a fantasy” in real life again I will start screaming indefinitely
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 02:53 PM
25

Yeah this is the biggest farce. Seeking validation from a LVM or trying to make it work with someone who doesn’t respect you is the purest form of insecurity. Only secure people can walk away from mistreatment and be happy/confident on their own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 02:51 PM
53

My ex claimed it was the “way” I was saying things. So I basically taught myself to be completely stoic when discussing emotional matters, constantly soothing and reassuring him, becoming meeker and more timid, reading my texts to my mom before sending to make sure they were “nice” enough. It just made him more abusive. The calmer I was, the more enraged he would become. In my effort to “communicate” with him, I ended up spiraling into thinking I was a bad person. I’d argue with my mom about it,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 02:35 PM
87

Imagine getting ignored and triangulated against pixels and strange women that don’t look like you, EVERYDAY. Wow, this really puts into perspective how emotionally strong and secure most women have to be just to exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 02:28 PM
41

Looking at who a man follows on instagram is essential to my vetting process after my last few dating experiences. Would have saved me so much time and pain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 02:25 PM
26

Ugh, I started dating someone a month after a break up and my ex was apparently stalking my OLD profiles because he texted me the day after I made it official calling me out. What a creep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 11:35 AM
204

Ew so he’s already with a younger woman and wants to trade her in for an even younger woman? I hate his tone, too. It’s really common in these creeps. It’s hard to describe, but maybe... smug horniness? I don’t even know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 09:42 PM
5

I love this! Thank you! Sometimes I get so sad and pessimistic listening to my coworkers discuss their long term partners. They’re all working full time and doing most of the childcare AND taking care of a man on top of it. No thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 07:13 PM
3

Wow that’s so invasive!! Yeah I definitely don’t think you’ll find many HVM sliding into anyone’s DMs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 07:09 PM
7

Okay this may reveal how old/out of touch I am, but how do strangers send you DMs? When I had FB and Instagram my accounts were always private, so I guess I managed to avoid this. It just seems so strange and creepy that men will contact random women they don’t know but think are attractive. How do they even find you? The future is weird and I don’t want to be here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 06:41 PM
7

Does anyone have a HV partner that helps with childcare? It seems like most of the HV stories I’ve seen on here involve child free relationships. But I want to believe!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 05:33 PM
16

They know they’re trash, so any woman who’s actually interested in them must be trash as well. They hate themselves, so they can’t respect anyone who would like them. They all desperately need mental health intervention. It’s sad, but I won’t feel bad for them until they collectively start spending their gaming/porn budgets on therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 05:28 PM
8

Yesterday I was thinking about this pickme I used to work with who had all male friends and said she “doesn’t like women.” It’s been years and I still wish I had said, “your precious guy friends just want to sleep with you, you airhead!!!!” Ugh. It’s so obvious from the outside.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 05:26 PM
2

I’m not consistently religious, but I’ve been considering this as well... the Antichrist and Revelations just feels too real nowadays.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 05:23 PM
12

Despite dozens-hundreds of messages on other apps, I have never gotten a response on Bumble. It’s all the proof you need that men don’t like being pursued. They’re just lazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 05:14 PM
32

Damn. I really wish I could be this logical /s Seriously, though. I was shielded from these obvious behaviors for so long because I was brainwashed into thinking “men aren’t petty or emotional, men are rational, men say what they mean!” LMAO yeah, no. A lot of adult men have the same emotional maturity that I and most of my friends had at 15.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 05:09 PM
2

I’ve said this in another thread, but LVX was a therapist in his mid 30s and acted like he didn’t know pressuring me to take my shirt off after I said no was problematic. THEY KNOW
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 04:32 PM
3

This is why I still can’t look at Aziz Ansari the same or watch his work. Yeah yeah he didn’t “technically rape” anyone, but I’ve been on too many dates with men like that to not feel sick whenever I see him now. They know how to pressure women into sex in a way that will keep their hands clean, literally and figuratively. They’re still rapists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 04:30 PM
24

Dealing with trauma through food addiction is a thing but you don’t see men leading the body positivity movement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 04:25 PM
6

Exactly. I understand that my partner will be attracted to other people, but that doesn’t mean he has to be a creep. There’s a big difference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 04:22 PM
13

Yeah! I was like, “damn okay where’s the lie though?” I’ve apologized way too many times for telling men the truth just because I said it when I was angry. They try to twist it like we’re “Jekyll and Hyde” or whatever. In reality, most of the time we’re desperately trying to convince ourselves the LVM is worth it and a “good guy” and HV even though deep down we know he’s not. So we play nice and act sweet and keep the peace. Then they pull some shit or we find out who they really are. We can’t l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 04:19 PM
7

My grandma, mom, and two aunts have all been single, very much by choice, since their mid 40s/early 50s or younger. I could never imagine giving up on “love”!? but now I totally get it. I’m extremely grateful to have such awesome role models living life on their own terms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 04:03 PM
20

Ugh, I’m still having trouble losing attraction to an objectively not very attractive LVX because of trauma bonding (can HVD - high value dick - be a thing? lol). I know that’s what it is consciously, but it’s difficult to shake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 03:47 PM
4

Yeah, playing hard to get definitely implies a level of investment we shouldn’t have early on. I consider it more like “continuing to live my (full, complete, wonderful) life while allowing this guy to take me on dates sometimes until he fucks it up.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 03:33 PM
6

I’ve been burned wayyy too many times by assuming good intentions for questionable behavior in men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 03:29 PM
51

We know what men want. Exactly. If I wanted to lower myself to a man’s level and manipulate someone into thinking I’m everything they want, I could do it. It’s extremely easy to be a LVM’s “dream girl.” They just want someone to open their legs and close their mouth. Unfortunately my self respect has always been more important. FDS is about becoming our very own queens. FDS is about living and leveling up to our own standards. It has nothing to do with pleasing men and in fact eliminates 99.9% o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 03:09 PM
22

Thank you for this! I had come to this conclusion on my own, but am excited to see actual studies being done to prove it! There aren’t any physical structures that indicate anal sex would be pleasurable for a woman, so there must be some level of conditioning involved in most cases.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 02:24 PM
12

I hate thinking about how well I taught my exes to manipulate their next girlfriends. I basically gave them a list of everything to lie about. So upsetting. I’m sorry, ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 02:18 PM
3

Seriously! When I was insecure, I stayed with men who hurt and disrespected me. An insecure woman would change herself and quiet her instincts to keep the LVM in her life. Leaving because someone doesn’t appreciate you as much as you do is a sign of high self worth. If you believe you deserve a man who doesn’t watch porn and fully adores your body, then leaving to find that man means you love yourself more. I keep reminding myself that: my ex didn’t think I deserved to be loved the way I wanted …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 02:05 PM
16

I’m going to add their third book (I believe all three are written by Greg AND Amiira, his wife) “It’s Just a F**king Date.” (Includes vetting multiple men before settling down, waiting to have sex, being your best self, enforcing boundaries, etc but please let me know if not totally FDS approved!) All three have saved me at various stages in my life and relationships. e: the first book was co-written by a woman named Liz Tuccillo. ALSO just read that Greg was a writer for Sex and the City... th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 01:47 PM
20

I did this on accident with the LVX I posted about. My (male) therapist tried to shame me by repeatedly asking “how the subject even came up,” but I genuinely wasn’t expecting my ex to have the opinions and habits that he did. He was older, a licensed therapist, seemed to respect most women, care about equal rights, etc. so when I brought up how strange I think it is to imagine having sex with someone else while in a relationship, I had no idea he was going to flip out and get super defensive. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 01:21 PM
81

Basic hygiene is groundbreaking for these men. And that would be fine, except they also think they deserve a well put-together woman with their ideal body type who will indulge all their kinks. Literally every man thinks he deserves that and about .02% of them put the work in to be worthy of it. Hypocriteesssssss
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 12:52 PM
53

WHAT. I’m personally offended by this one lol let me guess, it was a movie he suggested and he thought you should have just agreed with him instead of checking if you were wasting two hours of your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 12:48 PM
4

Yes I agree, neither would be best! lol I just don’t see as many anti-alcohol sentiments on here. I suppose I have different priorities because of my personal history. I definitely wouldn’t want to date someone who engaged in “stoner culture” and had to get high before every event or meal or whatever. Having boundaries and using in moderation is important.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 09:22 PM
10

If not, I feel very sorry for her and understand how the lack of a support system would cause her to think dating him is a good idea. He and his friends all pride themselves on having bad family histories, so it would make sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 09:16 PM
66

I’m 30 and follow some guys on YouTube who are in their early-mid 20s and I think of them as babies. I have an ex that’s my age who started dating someone who just graduated high school after we broke up. How the hell are her parents okay with their daughter dating some broke-ass, no education, going nowhere in life, loser friend-having idiot who is ten years older than her? My friends and family would be like, “what the fuck are you doing?” if I were either person in that situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 06:57 PM
35

This will probably be unpopular, but I’ve actually gone through substance abuse counseling and I’d much rather date a guy who smokes weed every day than one who gets drunk every weekend. Alcohol is much more damaging, but I’m assuming more women on here like it so it’s more accepted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 05:39 PM
20

Yeah I’d love to hear how often he believes he’s thinking “logically,” considering this short argument alone makes use of several fallacies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 05:10 PM
36

“She coddles me and knows how to ‘handle’ me because she’s literally known me since birth.” They have no self awareness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 05:08 PM
22

Dated a guy who admitted to saving his toenails in jars. He and his friends told me about it like it was hilarious, but I was and still am deeply disturbed. I don’t understand this urge even .00001%.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 04:32 PM
27

I feel the exact same way. Just thinking of being emotionally or sexually vulnerable with a man after everything I’ve read on here makes me sick. I don’t see how it’s possible to trust them unless you treat them like children and monitor their electronics. Why do we need to “train” them to treat us well and care about our feelings? It’s exhausting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 04:16 PM
22

For me, I knew he had a “type” and they didn’t look like me, but I didn’t know what was different. At my size and shape, I could be too thin for some guys, too thick for others. So it turned into this amorphous self hatred because I didn’t even know what was “wrong” with me in his eyes. I explained this to him; he didn’t care. They’re so selfish and cruel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 04:08 PM
5

Ugh I’m sorry you went through that. Your feelings are completely reasonable! I still get really angry sometimes too. It’s infuriating to think that men having been getting away with this kind of manipulation for centuries. So many still are, and the current culture says that women need to accept it. The societal-level gaslighting is what angers me the most. Women everywhere are being told they’re crazy to expect loyalty and respect, when men would never date a woman who has multiple dudes orbit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 02:44 PM
24

The sad truth is that the sheer number of N/LVM, and their dedication to maintaining the status quo, make it difficult for HVM to thrive in male spaces. If HVM do exist (I’m skeptical but want to believe), I admire the strength it takes to reject the insidious behaviors that other men and society pressure them to engage in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 03:16 AM
15

There are too many obvious truths like this that have been denied, dismissed, or diminished by LVM constantly intruding on every woman-focused space. I’m grateful we have a place to gather this knowledge. It inspires me to know communities like FDS may prevent young girls and women from going through the trauma so many of us have experienced.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 02:25 AM
19

Staying friends with one or two long term exes is fine. It starts to be concerning when they’re keeping in touch with former hookups, women they had/have a crush on (this is usually worse than an ex because they never got what they wanted), or women who openly or obviously have feelings for them, especially if there are several “friends” that fit in this category. That’s not friendship; it’s narcissistic supply. Every time you fight or when you break up, he has 10 women ready to give him the val…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 11:04 PM
11

Exactly. I think that’s the place I’m coming from too. I‘m much more attracted to women, but somehow I manage not to objectify them, masturbate to their pictures, or make crude comments about them. It shouldn’t be too much to ask for a man to do the same. It has nothing to do with brain chemistry or hormones. It’s about respect, self control, and choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 09:42 PM
12

It will never fail to disgust me that they lose interest over the emotional instability that they intentionally caused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 06:55 PM
3

After a break up with a guy who had stalker tendencies I discovered while dating, he reached out and instead of ignoring him, I was very sentimental and told him I still care deeply and I’ll always be there for him. I knew expressing genuine emotion and telling him he could reach out whenever would ensure he never did, and I was right. They only want what they can’t have; it’s so sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 06:53 PM
8

I mean... along the same line, does anyone believe when “women” say they can only orgasm from anal? Not to discount anyone’s experience, but I truly believe women deriving pleasure from anal sex is entirely conditioned, the same as interest in BDSM. Why would a woman, who has a vagina, ever think, “hey how about you put it in the other hole that gives me no pleasure, is actually painful, and can cause injury?” I believe women “enjoy” anal sex the same way they “enjoy” giving blowjobs: we’re trai…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 06:20 PM
16

Yeah, I felt like his body language was, “this discussion makes me uncomfortable and reflects badly on me so I’m going to pretend it isn’t happening.” I mean, at he could at least stare off into space while he rubs her back or something. At least pretend to care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 06:07 PM
4

Right? Wow, he realized the thing that women have been saying openly for decades? Wow! Was he not listening before or just didn’t care? Probably both.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 05:21 PM
6

I had a mother and two older sisters (who are very feminine) growing up, but no one ever taught me about birth control, how to style my hair, wear makeup, flirt, use a tampon, cook, put together an outfit, shave, etc. I taught myself or didn’t learn. I don’t feel, act, or dress “like a woman,” but I am. My eldest sister imparted some FDS-level knowledge onto me when I was young regarding sex and relationships, but so much of it went in one ear and out the other because of liberal feminism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 05:16 PM
11

I feel like I’ve gotten secondhand trauma just hearing about what other people have found on a man’s phone. Even the quick part about “having a crush” on a coworker... I don’t want to date some disrespectful jerk who obsesses about another woman, openly, with his friends. But how could you know that without snooping?? Ugggh being single is so much easier than worrying about all the things they could be hiding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 05:06 PM
34

Ughhh this reminds me of an ex who claimed that he doesn’t have to care about other people because he’s white and we should enjoy our privilege instead of fighting for equal rights. When BLM was “trending” this year, he posted this huge thing online about how he’s always been a huge BLM supporter, he just “only shared that with his inner circle” along with a bunch of other bullshit he used to mock me for saying. What the actual fuck. I’m livid all over again just thinking about it. I wish I had …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 04:19 PM
16

When I was poly, my “boyfriend” would make comments like, “Omg so awkward, I bet all the servers notice how many different women I bring here.” I didn’t give him the satisfaction of getting upset, but how else am I even supposed to respond to that? He clearly wanted me to be upset and jealous. It’s as if they don’t feel powerful enough in a truly healthy, communicative, equal partnership. Nowadays (I hope) I would say something like, “oh don’t worry, no one cares about you.” lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 04:02 PM
25

This is annoyingly accurate. Men will treat you like shit and say, “no no it’s okay because I’m not over my ex.” That doesn’t excuse or explain anything and makes it way worse. I’ve been in a physically abusive relationship and I’ve never used that information to elicit guilt or to justify any of my flaws. Ugh, why are all men obsessed with some phantom ex they claim treated them terribly? Yeah, I’ve dated a few LVM in my time and can admit they affected me negatively in some ways, but I don’t s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 03:57 PM
3

lol you put it much more succinctly than I did!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 09:43 PM
3

Oh my god I was the biggest Britney fan as a kid and I never noticed this I have CHILLS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 08:21 PM
15

Exactly. And even if the argument is, “well men are the main consumers and I’m not attracted to men.” Uhhhhh, most sex workers aren’t attracted to the trash that pays them either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 07:50 PM
54

I only tried being poly once because I completely gave up on the concept of men being faithful, so at least they’d be honest with me about “ethical non-monogamy,” right? Nope! Being honest would take all the fun out of it, so they still find ways to be deceitful. Plus, in a truly open, equal, honest poly partnership in which both people are enthusiastically participating, the woman is going to have infinite opportunities compared to the man and they hate that. Dated a scrote who told me he had s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 05:50 PM
62

Random pro-tip from a seasoned dater of LVM for anyone who hasn’t experienced this: immediately eliminate any men who have “open to monogamy or non-monogamy” in their profile. That means, “I’m still going to sleep with other people, but I GUESS I’ll lie about it if you really need me to.” There isn’t a monogamy “spectrum.” They either are or aren’t. They either want to have sex with only one person at a time or they don’t. Additionally, a HVM wouldn’t be wishy-washy about his standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 05:43 PM
5

I’m so sorry you’re going through that. No one deserves it. That is my biggest fear. Even if my niece realizes how terrible he is, his words will have already affected her on a deeper level. So I’ll say to you what I wish I could say to her: I hope you know that you are unbelievably worthy and beautiful. Probably more so than you even realize, which is why he wants to tear you down. Wearing makeup and dresses accentuates your inner and outer beauty even more. There’s nothing more intimidating to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 05:27 PM
17

Yes! And then they make us think it’s our fault, that women only want the “bad guys.” No, it’s just that our options are: Desperate creep who will literally sleep with anyone, gets pissed if you don’t respond to his tinder message within 5 minutes (I usually wait a day to respond to filter these losers out), will likely be very jealous and controlling, is likely way less attractive than you but still thinks he deserves a porn star, sex game will be weak but still expects daily BJs. He will defin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 05:16 PM
10

I’m realizing this about an ex and it makes me sick to think about... he kept saying a female friend “took advantage of him while drunk” and no one believed him that it happened, so she and they all stopped talking to him. That doesn’t really make much sense, does it? Especially considering he still wanted to have a friendship with this woman and complained to me that he missed her. In all likelihood, he was probably the one who took advantage and denied it. Another thing my intuition was scream…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 05:01 PM
16

“sHe’S sO cOnTrOlLiNg”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:51 PM
21

lmao “if my body pillow waifu could talk... I’d neglect her for video games too!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:50 PM
10

I’m never having a child with a man. Never. I will adopt or use a sperm donor if I decide motherhood is for me. I will never risk being permanently tied to a deadbeat, abusive asshole that I have to share my child with. Nope, not sorry. I don’t need a man around detracting value from my future child’s life. I’ve seen it with my sister. Her ex left her for a stripper when she was 8 months pregnant. Disappeared for two years. Stripper died, so now he wants to be around. He won’t allow my niece to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:47 PM
44

I’ve had one man ask to be slapped during sex — encouraged it — and I still couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t even have deep feelings for the guy; purposely hurting someone is just an inherent violation of my personal value system. If I even verbally snap at someone, I feel guilty for days or until I can apologize. Why is that not the case for men? And why don’t they feel bad? That’s what gets me... okay, sure, fine, caveman brain, testosterone, whatever excuse you want to make... but why…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:38 PM
17

Sure, women are conditioned to think receiving BDSM treatment is okay. But it’s interesting how very few women enjoy pretending to rape men or break their ribs, huh? Isn’t that “strange” how women generally don’t prefer tormenting their sexual partners? And even women who participate in domination usually only do it for profit and because the man is specifically requesting it. Makes you think... 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:24 PM
64

I distinctly remember when The Social Network came out, he was being touted as this sweet, wholesome family man. That was the image of him I held in my head. Now I know he’s a degenerative wannabe cannibal. All the yikes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:15 PM
76

I always thought, “it’s normal to want to lose control or mix pain with pleasure.” But it took me a long time to realize how NOT normal it is to want to hurt someone or take away their power. Once I started putting myself in the “dom’s” shoes, I accepted how totally fucked up it is. These men get sexual pleasure from hurting and pretending to rape women. Because secretly, they really want to hurt and rape women. A man who hits or chokes you does not love or respect you. The context is irrelevant…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:10 PM
12

Meanwhile LVM be like, “I agreed to neglect my kid every other weekend without their mom around so I don’t have to pay as much child support... where’s my award???” 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 12:34 PM
27

“If I were single” just means “if I knew I wouldn’t get caught” in LVM speak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 09:51 PM
4

I believe a HVM’s treatment would either be consistently great or start really good and slowly improve as time goes on and your relationship deepens. But for the most part, how they treat you before sex is the best treatment you can expect. So if he’s not going above and beyond until that point, he’s not worth the price of a condom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 09:01 PM
26

Agreed! All three men seem to have a healthy perspective on relationships and speak very highly of their respective partners. Funny side note, all my porn-obsessed exes would act so bitter and jealous that I enjoyed watching their channels. They feel entitled to jerk off to naked women, but my laughing at fully dressed men makes them uncomfortable. They’re such weak hypocrites.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 08:12 PM
14

A man has never treated me better after sex than before sex. The texting slows down, they expect you to pay more often, their eyes start wandering, etc. Unfortunately it seems like most men need to be “incentivized” to consistently treat a woman well (or even stay interested). Being a good person and making someone else happy isn’t enough motivation for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 08:03 PM
8

Zoom meetups for meditation/self development?? I didn’t know that was a thing! Thanks for the suggestion!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 07:12 PM
73

Seriously. I have to remind myself that when men whine about “loneliness,” they mean sex. They always mean sex. If women feel lonely, it’s because we want someone to love and build a life with. Men feel lonely because they want to put their penis in someone, literally anyone, and if you make the first move, you win the prize!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 06:52 PM
2

Also... they know it’s fake, right!? They know these women would never actually even look at them if they weren’t getting paid, right? They genuinely live in a fantasy world where they trick their brains and penises into thinking they have a connection with someone and aren’t just paying for a service. And some of these men have women who love and care about them. Yikes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 12:27 PM
9

I honestly don’t think I would be interested in dating a man who ever used OF. It’s really no different than paying for prostitution in my eyes. A man being such a depraved, horny teenager that he’ll PAY to objectify a woman for sexual gratification is disgusting and the opposite of everything I consider to be “masculine.” Men who do this are like worms to me. I picture OF subscribers as the little aliens from Space Jam, pretty much. It’s not jealousy; they gross me out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 12:13 PM
10

As usual, they’re seeing what they can get away with, like children. Why waste time on dinner and a movie if she’ll settle for a walk, right? Ugh. If a guy dares ask my friend what she wants to do, she responds with something luxurious like a lobster dinner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 03:56 AM
28

How do they not realize and/or admit to themselves how not normal that is? They just chalk it up to “low sex drive,” while continuing to watch porn every night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 03:43 AM
60

One of my favorite quotes from Psychopath Free that I have to refer to whenever I let a guy make me feel “crazy”: “Well, psychopaths want you to believe you’re crazy because it makes you seem more unstable to the rest of the world. But you’ll find that once they’re gone from your life, everything starts to make sense again. If you went from normal to “crazy” to normal again, that’s not crazy. That’s someone provoking you.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 01:45 AM
110

I always find some silver lining like, “Hey, if he hadn’t gaslit me so hard into thinking I had BPD, I wouldn’t have sought out therapy!” Or “I mean, I did lose a lot of weight after he annihilated my self worth!” Unfortunately that’s the highest form of “value” men have added to my life thus far.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 10:22 PM
40

I’m planning to pay off my car and buy a house this year! I can’t wait to have my own cozy little space. Also I’m planning to avoid OLD for at least one year, maybe five. I can’t even imagine how much self improvement and personal growth I could achieve after years without a LVM to drag me down. Don’t see why I’d ever go back though lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 03:23 PM
16

I’ve considered making a streaming channel, because even though I’m not very good, I love playing video games and think my commentary (while alone in my room) is pretty funny. But the inevitable sexism and sexual harassment I’d have to face is daunting. This is one of the very few instances in which I’d prefer being a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 03:01 PM
31

I just want to say I love FDS and 90DF crossovers... they go well together! 90DF is like a documentary about LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 02:55 PM
7

They always give themselves away by their outlandish, unexpected reaction to what should be a totally normal question. It’s so refreshing to finally accept they know what they’re doing. N/LVM will keep “former” (and they hope future) hook ups around, constantly compare us to other women, fantasize about women who look nothing like us, talk about their ex all the time... and then accuse us of being insecure. No, we’re trying to reconcile their words and actions because they don’t match, and LVM w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 02:36 PM
32

Ew I hate when men act all impressed that “a girl!?!?” likes a certain show or video games or sports or beer or whatever. It’s so... condescending. I went from taking this as a compliment, to being glad we had something in common, to responding that plenty of women like x thing, and then I finally just immediately unmatched. If I use OLD again, I’d probably leave any potential LVM bait out of my profile just to be safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 04:51 AM
7

Ooh, that’s good advice about convos with male friends. It’s also possible to use the text search function to look for your name or sexual terms, etc. I’ve made the mistake of going in without a game plan lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 04:36 AM
32

If I didn’t actually see that post, I’d think you were being satirical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 03:27 AM
5

Yeah, definitely not worth acknowledging. He’s always been respectful and kind in real life, so I’ll ignore it for now. I stopped using most SM because of weird online-world drama like that, along with all the unrealistic photoshop catering to the male gaze.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 03:24 AM
4

I’ve had several bad experiences with therapy and I’m not sure I’d try again. I work out, meditate, take prescribed meds, and have about 15 self help books on rotation. I also recently had good results with journaling! Plus my life is always very pleasant and peaceful when I’m not entertaining some LVM, so celibacy will be my therapy until I’m ready to try again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 12:11 AM
9

This is exactly how my BFF is!! She’s had to listen to me complain about soooo many LVM, and told me to leave (again and again), but never lost patience with me. I “introduced” her to FDS, but she’s been living the principles for years. She knows what she and her friends are worth and refuses to settle for less. She’s a true queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 12:03 AM
6

A friend’s husband, who I consider(ed) a HVM, has liked my photos (ones from weeks/months ago) at 2-3am... twice. I’ve convinced myself it doesn’t really mean anything because they’re the only seemingly healthy, happy couple I personally know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 11:45 PM
8

Do you ask them for their phone outright or do you have other methods to gain access? Just wait for an opportune moment? I used to be on the fencing about “snooping,” but learning how common and easy it is for men to hide infidelity, or worse, it could be a matter of (sexual, mental, and physical) safety for some women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 11:40 PM
18

A LVX was following a mixture of nsfw/OF “models” and family members on Instagram, including his younger, barely legal sister, who was both and posted partial nudes regularly. It felt wrong at the time, but I believed his BS excuse about being supportive (pre-FDS). Now that I know how normalized incest is for porn sick men, I can’t believe I kept dating him... 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 11:32 PM
55

Omg... they use dating apps for porn too? What the fuck, that is so gross. The more I learn about men, the more innocent and naive I feel by comparison. Their lives revolve around sex and objectifying women. “Depraved” doesn’t cover it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 05:17 PM
46

All in all you have to pick between madonna and whore. There is no "safe" option in male psychology. This upsets me so much and is the main reason I want to give up altogether. I don’t want to play either of these roles. I want a man to love, respect, and desire me at the same time. That shouldn’t be too much to ask in a relationship. They have no idea how lucky they are to date partners that actually value them as people. Not that they’d care; they just want sex (until they get it, then they’re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 05:07 PM
88

I went on one date with a guy, ended things, forgot why, and dated him a couple years later (unfortunately— he’s the most manipulative and self-obsessed person I’ve ever met). At one point he reminded me he had a handlebar mustache on our first date, and I remember thinking, “Ohhhh THAT’S how I knew he was trash back then.” He confused me by getting better facial hair and a dog.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 04:50 PM
19

Not to make light of suicide, but he essentially took the LVM tactic of “no no you’re right, I’m such a bad person, you deserve better” to an extreme instead of, you know, being better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 04:34 PM
112

He’s just marketing himself to pickmes who get a thrill from stealing someone else’s man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 04:33 PM
53

So glad I deleted Hinge and every other dating app a few days ago. I had been tempted to reinstall, but this set me back on the right path. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 04:06 PM
2

I love this method and I plan to use it, but I’m always worried about bringing sex into the conversation early on. Could that possibly be a red flag to HVM? I’m not really worried about impressing them; I just don’t want to give off the wrong impression.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 01:16 PM
5

Even though it just happened to me, I still can’t believe men will choose porn over an actual woman. I cannot wrap my head around prioritizing looking at a naked person that highly. It’s revolting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 01:11 PM
272

I’m screaming internally. This whole bio is just to cover his ass when his wife’s friends find it. It also lures other women into a false sense of security by thinking he “just wants to talk.” Please tell me no one has fallen for this. There’s also something deeply irritating about the phrase “so there’s that.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 01:02 PM
2

Yeah, but think of all the girls and women who are going to date him and have no idea... this is why we all need FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 12:30 PM
4

Porn addicted ex said he’d been watching since he was 6 and that he believed no one should be allowed to watch it until they’re over 25... but also believed porn was super healthy after that and looking at it every night isn’t an addiction? Their tolerance to cognitive dissonance is astounding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 12:29 PM
3

Ugh, I may take a break from dating until I develop actual mind reading powers. Or have money to hire a PI for everyone I date. (I’m joking, but also kinda not joking)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 12:24 PM
67

My porn-obsessed ex was so condescending toward sexually “empowered” women. He was very uncomfortable with women singing about their WAP, but had no problem looking at pictures of them every night. They’re not only disgusting perverts; they’re hypocrites as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 12:06 PM
16

I’d like to add that I really enjoyed her autobiography “I’m Fine... And Other Lies.” I believe it would be considered FDS-approved. She addresses unrealistic beauty standards and overcoming codependency.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 01:42 AM
7

I recently told my friend, “if one more man describes my objective observations of the world as ‘feelings’ I’m having, I’ll snap.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 12:25 AM
49

Unfortunately so. Luckily I found FDS around the same time, made sure to keep vetting, and eventually ended it. But I should have walked out and never looked back the moment he didn’t respect my first “no.” Little red flags are actually just big red flags in the distance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 06:50 PM
98

The last guy I dated tried to pressure me into flashing him the first time we made out. I laughed it off at first, but he kept pushing, claiming something along the lines of “blue balls” (because he clearly would have kept pushing if I gave in). I said no more firmly and eventually left. Later on I explained through text how this made me uncomfortable and it’s not okay to pressure women after they say no the first time. He acted SHOCKED and borderline offended, playing up the self pity card by s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 06:09 PM
3

Oh geez, they’re so dramatic. I’ve been accused of “stalking” for looking at a public instagram account with thousands of followers. Sure, dude. I’m so sneaky for accessing public information. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 08:43 AM
28

Daily use, investing excess time and energy into use (even if they “only” masturbate at night, they’re usually scanning for “material” on ig and reddit all day), lashing out at those who criticize or get in the way of use, feeling the need to hide or lie about it, causing problems in relationships, continuing use despite the problems it causes, tolerance (always needing a new, unique fix that’s usually more extreme or depraved) etc etc etc... It’s the textbook definition of addiction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 11:45 PM
37

I’m disgusted on your behalf. I actually felt sick reading that. So lucky you found that and didn’t get tricked into staying with such a pedophilic creep. It’s scary and stressful that we can never know for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 11:21 PM
24

My LVX showed me something on his phone once and turned off his notifications beforehand. Deep down I knew this was a bad sign but I didn’t want to “jump to conclusions.” Sigh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 10:58 PM
17

Ugh that part made me angry too! It’s clear he sees having sex as the default, expected activity when they hang out, and any deviation is a “punishment.” Just spending time cuddling, laughing, making out, etc. with his girlfriend is a punishment to him. How dehumanizing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 10:24 PM
6

This always stumps me too... I have no idea why I want to date a man, when they almost always bring me stress and offer no positive benefit. I’ve never been materialistic or expected men to pay my way, (didn’t even expect them to buy dinner on the first date, pre-FDS - ugh) but at this point (more) money is the only thing a man can offer me aside from mediocre dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 06:35 PM
108

Agreed! This past week I played an awesome game of Scrabble with my grandma, my mom sent me flowers at work, my friend let me pour my heart out on the phone, and my coworker went above and beyond to help me with a work issue. I have so much wonderful feminine energy around me; I just want to appreciate that for awhile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 11:56 AM
21

I really don’t like to hate on “the other woman,” but personally, I’ve had guy friends and I’m always very careful about boundaries when they’re in a relationship. I would never want to make someone’s girlfriend feel the way I’ve felt in relationships before. I even asked my female friend if her girlfriend would be comfortable with me staying the night once, even though we’d been having sleepovers since we were 5. It’s really not difficult to respect someone else’s relationship, and girls/women …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 11:00 PM
16

I’ve seen comments theorizing that posts like these are just to cover the OP’s ass. Even if he actually cheated, now he can show Jane this post and say, “see: it’s totally innocent. I wouldn’t lie to reddit!” There must be some course on dishonesty and manipulation that only LVM attend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 10:52 PM
21

This is the only reason I wish I had male friends or still talked to an ex... I have no ammo to use against this kind of triangulation. They always like to play dumb and say it wouldn’t bother them, but unfortunately I can’t prove they’re full of shit because I have healthy boundaries. I only realized this year, while approaching age 30, that some men want you to be jealous, even if they pretend otherwise or act mad when it happens. They loooove getting a reaction and having that much power over…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 10:44 PM
28

The societal pressure for women to look a certain way has always been present, but the modern “ideal” isn’t even possible without surgery or photoshop. It’s also worse because it’s not just celebrities, models, and porn stars anymore. “Real girls” are having cosmetic procedures done and wearing stage makeup and using photoshop too, so these unrealistic beauty standards are even more expected and normalized. Sadly I’ve seen many 18-20 year old women already getting regular Botox and filler.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 10:36 PM
9

Hmmm I’m thinking it was maybe a pencil sharpener or something like that? Sharpener that can sharpen a lot of pencils is quality; a pencil that’s been sharpened a lot is shrunken and used up. But I’m sure there’s a better analogy out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 10:19 PM
41

Yeah likely because if you sound even slightly critical toward most men, they’ll completely shut down. Gotta make sure you stroke their ego and tell them they’re good, big, strong men if you want them to listen. So logical, so rational. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 10:02 PM
36

Agreed with all of this. That’s what worries me the most... LVM justified his daily porn use by saying he needs “variety.” ...we had only been having sex for two weeks. Two weeks. It took less than a month for him to become bored with a new sexual partner. Porn sick men are broken.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 09:56 PM
3

Omg is it impossible to find a man who doesn’t have a web of past, present, and hopeful-future hook ups in his contact list? This is so depressing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 04:20 PM
2

Yep. If it was a totally natural, healthy thing to do in a relationship and anyone who disagrees is a sociopath, wouldn’t they want to get that out in the open sooner rather than later so they can find someone who accepts their “totally natural, healthy” behavior?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 04:10 PM
1

Hmm, that’s interesting... in a way, all porn watchers are fantasizing about rape since they know the women they want would never have sex with them consensually. Because having sex with a woman who wants to have sex with them just isn’t “exciting” enough, I guess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 04:06 PM
5

lol bro, you asked out a woman who has Bratz doll eyes with sparkles in them and a tiny pointy chin in every photo and you’re shocked she doesn’t look like that in real life??? They’re so dumb. No shade to this woman at all, she’s still gorgeous, but I recently met a friend’s girlfriend after only seeing her social media pictures. I genuinely couldn’t tell if he had started dating someone new. Online, she’s a “bad bitch” with tons of creepy thirsty guys all over her comments. In real life, she’s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 04:00 PM
3

When I’m looking at other beautiful women all the time, I’m only thinking about what’s “wrong” with me. When I only see my naked body regularly, I actually love it and feel proud of it. That’s not to say I’m denying the existence of other attractive women, but the media we consume undeniably affects how we perceive ourselves and others. That’s why I think only men who do the same (cut out fake images on social media and especially in porn) will appreciate our bodies as much as we do. If looking …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 03:52 PM
13

One really great line I got to use with my LVX when he told me I’m expecting too much: “my standards aren’t too high just because YOU don’t meet them.” I never would have said something like that pre-FDS 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 03:46 PM
18

I feel so triggered even reading stories like this. I just can’t imagine putting my trust in another man to be let down. I’m confident, happy, and secure when I’m alone. I avoid comparing myself to other women or consuming tons of potentially photoshopped images so I can focus on what I love about my own body, mind, and spirit. I don’t believe a porn sick man can fully appreciate one “real” woman. They are absolutely comparing us and they absolutely prefer the women they’re looking at. And since…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 03:37 PM
5

Ew, I hate how they always blame the mother for their own bad relationship with the child. My ex-BIL is the scummiest person in the world and even I (who still hold more of a grudge than anyone else) will not speak ill of him in front of his daughter. Because we know she’ll figure it out for herself someday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 12:28 PM
14

Damn. I didn’t even make that connection, but you’re totally right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 07:42 PM
133

My most recent ex told me most of his relationships ended due to “insecurity” and surprise, surprise: so did ours (according to him). Wow, what a strange coincidence that all of your girlfriends have dealt with self image issues in your presence. Must be their fault, huh? /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 07:25 PM
5

Ooooh this made me consider that they may be doing this because they’re hoping the “women like married men” cliche is true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 07:14 PM
24

I lost a lot of weight this year and got in great shape. I thought, “this is it! this is the pretty girl life I’ve been waiting to live. men will be lining up to date me!” (Forgive me, I hadn’t found FDS yet) Reality: I was ruthlessly manipulated and lied to just for the sole purpose of sex, for the first time in my life. This guy insisted we be exclusive, cooked me multiple three-course steak dinners, introduced me to all of his friends on the third date, let me talk to his son on the phone... …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 06:07 PM
6

The reasons are penises. That’s the entire purpose. Slowly destroying society so losers can have 20 seconds of imagined ecstasy with the surgically and digitally altered woman of their dreams.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 05:32 PM
21

A man using our bodies for an orgasm is not a compliment. It’s not something we should be excited to “achieve.” Nowadays sex doesn’t even guarantee sexual attraction; that’s how desperate and pathetic they are. They’ll beg or manipulate a woman into having sex with them and still think they’re too good for her. Uggggh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 04:55 PM
79

Absolutely agreed. If men are turned off by stretch marks, cellulite, body hair, tummy rolls, “saggy” (read: natural) breasts, menstruation, etc... not only are they not attracted to women; I’d argue they aren’t attracted to humans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 04:45 PM
3

It’s pretty depressing that a man being open and honest is cause for suspicion, but that’s the reality we live in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 04:17 PM
12

I don’t know how I still manage to be surprised at their audacity. I can’t imagine how much energy and stress it takes to maintain that level of deceit and cruelty. Deleting and reinstalling apps on a regular basis? Once again, I’m grateful to have been born/raised with a conscience. To add, I’ve seen comments mentioning they have secret apps for texting and photos that look like calculator apps or other innocent things. How can you be that shitty of a person and still sleep at night? I looked t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 04:13 PM
98

Ahh this makes sense. I think many couples’ therapists have a “make it work at any cost unless there’s abuse involved” attitude, which usually just means the woman accepting worse treatment and setting aside her boundaries. In the case of infidelity, putting yourself in a vulnerable position and communicating your feelings to a man who clearly does not care about them is just asking for pain and disappointment. A cheater doesn’t care when you say, “I feel hurt/insecure/sad.” They didn’t care whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 02:15 PM
71

At 17, I was extremely ambitious and my future was very promising. I had a high GPA and a great score on my ACT. My biggest issue was choosing a major in college of my many interests. Then I started dating an abusive partner, lost all my drive, started drinking within a year of the break up, and dropped out of school. Being with the wrong man at such an important time, or any time really, can have a seriously negative impact on your future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 12:20 PM
2

Even if a man IS a therapist, he can’t always be trusted. See my post history for example. They can be narcissistic porn addicts and use their “experience” to belittle you and gaslight you more effectively.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 06:41 PM
2

I dated someone with a “friend” like this last year. Same exact situation, his friend’s gf. He had been single for years, so she’d had the luxury of having two guys to give her attention, take her to the movies or dinner, drive her to work, call at 11pm because she’s bored and needs someone to talk to... and the guy I was dating thought it was totally cool to continue this behavior while in a relationship. I’ll pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 05:58 PM
103

I know there was a post last week or so displaying some of the disgustingly specific porn subreddits on here. They have preferences about the color, shape, and size of pretty much every body part, right down to the areola and labia. Their depravity knows no bounds. A LVM once even admitted he likes to “Frankenstein,” as in find someone who has a combination of different favorite “parts” his exes have had. I couldn’t even make this shit up, because I’m not deeply broken inside.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 05:36 PM
29

Any man who has an imagined “dream woman” should stay single until he finds her. Spoiler alert: he never will, and if he did, she wouldn’t look twice at him. Do they think we want to be their interim fleshlight while they keep one eye open for their manic pixie bangmaid? Leave us alone!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 04:30 PM
30

My (now ex) therapist actually used the line “for every supermodel, there’s some guy who’s tired of having sex with her” to imply “hey, it doesn’t matter how pretty you are — anyone can struggle with insecurity.” But I turned it on him and said, “You know what that quote means to me? Even if men are dating a literal supermodel, they still aren’t satisfied with one woman. That’s pretty sad.” He didn’t have a response to that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 04:14 PM
2

I’ll respect him when he personally reaches out to each of these women to admit he’s a sociopath and apologize for using them as fleshlights.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 05:46 AM
49

I can’t imagine how much effort, time, and energy that poor woman has put into the relationship, just to spend most of her life and die married to a man who can’t wait to replace her. This is my biggest fear. I would much rather be “alone” forever than end up with a man like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 04:19 AM
102

It’s been proven that, statistically, men are seven times more likely to abandon their sick wives than the other way around. Cool, cool. Just gotta hope I don’t get cancer so my future husband doesn’t leave me, right? They’re terrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:39 AM
7

They are!! In hindsight she was the only thing pre-FDS that helped me see these experiences are all too common for women nowadays.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 12:25 AM
20

Yeah I’m regretting how much I opened up now. I’d seen him before years ago for other reasons and gave it a chance, thinking maybe a positive, trustworthy male influence would be helpful in some way. But I recently broke up with a LVM due to porn use and I had a bad feeling the next session wouldn’t go well. It was obvious my therapist thought my insecurity was a bigger problem than my ex’s daily porn consumption. He kept focusing on “why the subject even came up” and said it would have been fin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 10:31 PM
18

Please! The world is so catered to men, they could actually avoid all women for the rest of their lives if they wanted to. Can they do it already? Stop talking to us, about us, near us. Go away. Any direction away from us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 10:08 PM
16

Seriously. “I’m a complete degenerate who doesn’t see women as real people and seeks out prostitutes on an almost-weekly basis. Oh also I’m the type of loser who texts a woman three times in a row if she doesn’t respond. I have no idea how human connection works. So there’s really just one question... why are women so mean???”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 10:05 PM
16

Telling women to love themselves is actually a hate crime against men /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 09:58 PM
26

Even if the stereotype were true, what are they trying to imply? Uh yeah, we would rather die unmarried and “alone” with our adorable pets than stay with a man who doesn’t value us. Most men would rather be alone than change literally anything about themselves or their lifestyle, but somehow it’s a bad thing when women choose themselves. The double standards and contradictions are exhausting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 09:56 PM
53

I unfortunately just decided to stop seeing a male therapist because I tried explaining this to him and he said he didn’t agree with my “generalizations.” No, it’s the truth. Men only believe we think that way because they do. They literally quantify our worth (1-10) and have preferences about every single aspect of our appearances. So, as with most things, they project their own shallowness and depravity onto us. Most women I know do not expect to date, or even “fantasize” about dating, a super…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 09:37 PM
40

I had no idea they were using tiktok for porn as well. Makes sense why some men have it now. They can’t even verify the ages of these “women.” So gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 08:42 PM
74

Ugh, I think that’s what disgusts me the most. They idealize these women, but don’t respect them. They want to date a “good woman,” but always lust after, and often mentally or financially prioritize, the “baddies.” Can someone explain what is so revolting about this behavior and why they have no shame about it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 08:36 PM
24

I recently watched Love Actually for the first time with a now-ex LVM and (sorry if anyone really loves this movie) I couldn’t stop ranting about the Keira Knightley plot line and how creepy that guy is and of course he thinks she’s perfect, he doesn’t know her, and LVM love nothing more than a beautiful woman they can invent and project a personality onto. Again, sorry if anyone loves this movie but I probably wouldn’t have interpreted it that way before finding FDS 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 08:23 PM
81

Wow glad to learn this is common!! My last ~5 boyfriends have all been hung up on some perfect phantom high school ex that 1. usually cheated on them/treated them terribly (according to the scrotes), but 2. were also somehow perfect dream girls that other women will never measure up to. Why are men so broken?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 04:12 PM
2

Oh, ew. The “barely legal” category is already gross without having a similar aged child. How do they not see themselves? How are they not ashamed? Glad you got out!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 09:48 AM
2

Ugh I’m sorry you had that experience and so happy to hear he’s an ex!! Believe me, I’m a seasoned expert at staying because I don’t think I’ll find better!! But we always do, so we gotta stay hopeful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 09:46 AM
7

This comment has such fierce FDS energy!! Thank you for the support! I actually kinda missed him this morning, but any shred of that is looooong gone now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 10:48 PM
30

What’s depressing about stuff like OnlyFans is they’re giving these men the “online girlfriend” treatment. They pretend to be perfect manic pixie dream girls with a touch of mommy/therapist while sending them “personalized” sexual pictures and videos. Most men don’t want real women with real bodies or real problems. They want a sex doll.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 10:38 PM
7

That had occurred to me... he knows that I generally respect mental health professionals and if he told me his therapist agreed with him, it would make me question myself. I really hope he’s not that manipulative, but I just don’t know at this point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 10:33 PM
4

Oooh may I ask for some examples of questions you use?? I need a script!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 10:30 PM
3

The best/worst part is I’m pretty sure he only used it for porn. He only mentioned it in that context.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 10:29 PM
10

You’re right!! Now that I’m talking it out, I’m realizing all the signs I missed or willingly ignored. I appreciate the guidance. I have a lot to learn and that’s why I’m here!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 10:21 PM
16

Oooh thank you!! I don’t have a good arsenal against the “men’s brains haven’t changed” bullshit. Wow so they’re telling me men can run countries (debatable), be vegan, adapt to modern technology, drive a car, resist murdering every prey animal they see, pull out to avoid getting someone pregnant, but their “evolutionary urges” are just too strong to stop watching porn? They can fuck off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 10:20 PM
12

lol yep, he’s pretty much just an unattractive poly person in disguise. What’s “funny” is that he was way more focused on other men’s bodies than I was and (as other posts have mentioned) often made it about race and dick size. So much porn-fried projection. He knows damn well that if we had an open relationship, I’d actually be able to land men with “cum gutters and 9 inch dicks” as he so eloquently put it. Looking at other women is the only way he can feel powerful and, in his mind, keep me in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 10:15 PM
10

Yeah, you’re right. Discussing this made him feel like shit. So instead of acknowledging that and changing his behavior, he chose to double down and lose an actual attractive woman who wanted to have sex with him all the time. What an idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 08:59 PM
12

I’m definitely using the “what kind of porn do you watch?” line or even “who’s your favorite instagram model/OF star?” all excitedly and open, like I’m one of the Cool Girls™️ to get them to tell the truth. Uhhh he wanted me to shave my legs and asshole, but not my armpits or pubes. I have no idea what kind of fuckery that is. I also told him I wasn’t into butt stuff and he defiantly told me, “well I can still imagine it!” He also said something similar when I told him I wanted to wait to have s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 08:45 PM
4

Yeah, I think even apart from being a man, he’s a little out of touch with the new generation of porn and sexual boundaries. I had to explain to him what OnlyFans is lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 08:38 PM
11

Me too. He never mentioned dealing with this kind of thing with his clients. All I can hope is that he’s self-aware and mature enough to reflect on this and, regardless of his personal feelings and behavior, be able to treat a potential client with unbiased compassion. I’m skeptical based on how angry this subject makes him, though. How can you be that confident in defending porn? How are they not disgusted with themselves? That should be a new meme: “Defend your standards as strongly as LVM def…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 08:31 PM
56

Oh yeah he had an OnlyFans when we met. He told me that very recently, claiming he deleted it for me after we started dating (awww should I feel special?). The only reason he even told me that is because I was explicit on our second date that I believe paying women for images and talking to sex workers is cheating, no questions asked. So I’m not even sure if he was telling the truth; he just knows that’s a hard line for me. Any guy who pays a monthly subscription to see naked pictures and videos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 08:19 PM
15

I’ve actually assisted men with basic hygiene before and had to teach several of them what moisturizing is 🤦‍♀️ Never again!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 08:16 PM
7

Thank you for the warning! I would absolutely be thinking on his terms without this community. I know, because I have a bad habit of letting partners convince me I just have TrUsT iSsUeS and then after the relationship ends I shake my head, come out of the trance, and realize how naive I was. I’ve actually... never dumped someone before. It’s embarrassing. I stupidly believed a seemingly kind, respectful, thoughtful therapist would be trustworthy, but this just proves every single man needs vett…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 08:11 PM
8

I have a seemingly sweet, older male therapist (like a tiny little grandpa type) and now I’m questioning whether it’s the best place for me... I’m going to tell him about this at our next session and see how he reacts. I wanted a positive male influence in my life, but maybe that’s asking too much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:59 PM
12

He’s the type of person who needs others to think he’s a good guy, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t even giving his therapist the whole story and painted me as a controlling villain. Wonder how he’s going to handle therapy now that he can’t use me as a scapegoat 🤔 Oh wait, I don’t care!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:57 PM
5

That’s amazing you had such a solid and healthy relationship! Thank you for giving us all the extra encouragement we need. I saw a post on here that described sex with LVM as a man using your body to masturbate, and sadly I’m pretty sure that’s the only kind of “sex” I’ve had. Making love or even just non-performative sex sounds wonderful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:49 PM
70

lol yes!!! If we’re gunna compare ourselves to animals, he better start peacocking. I want to see a fancy mating dance before each date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:38 PM
20

I’m so thankful for FDS and my own therapist. Otherwise I would still be trying to live in his false reality, forcing myself into “blissful” ignorance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:34 PM
11

It’s okay!!! This comment is 100% accurate. I was in a bad place and had just discovered FDS after our first couple of dates. I did not vet well enough and I convinced myself the porn thing “wasn’t a big deal.” Ladies: follow your gut and stick by your standards — always! You WILL fall in love again and you WILL find someone just as attractive/rich/generous/good in bed/kind/funny, etc who meets those standards. We got this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:28 PM
128

He tried to use the evolutionary psychology, men-are-visual-creatures, I-need-“variety”-to-be-satisfied excuse. I’m sorry, what? He needs to look at (in his words) “millions” of different women to feel content with his sex life? And I’m not supposed to be disgusted and repulsed by that? It’s pathetic. He even told me several times that I was out of his league (painfully true) and I still wasn’t enough for him. He needs help and he’ll never get it. *typo fixed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:15 PM
16

It’s pretty sad that as a mental health professional who considers himself a “male feminist,” he can block out all of the trafficked and abused women and children that the porn industry is built on, just so he can get off for a few minutes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:10 PM
66

I realized from this how much of a red flag “offering information” is. He did that with his female best friend a lot, told me several times that he wasn’t attracted to her before I ever asked. I didn’t think much of it because she was really awesome and had no interest in him, but thinking of it now... he’s definitely attracted to her lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:04 PM
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