Hi ladies,

This question is based on personal experience & some uncertainty on my end regarding a certain type of situation -- I do not propose at all to "pander" to any of my dates (who are random people I owe nothing to), but more than once something odd has happened.

I would be perfectly polite/kind/reciprocal in asking questions as I am always am on any date, yet with local "born & raised" Canadian males, I notice they totally change to a stiffer/more reserved behaviour once the date ends if I did not kiss/touch/be very flirtatious with them. No I am not referring to trashy men who want to just touch + have sex, the ones in question are perfectly polite & normal guys. Yes they lean in + try to get closer during our interaction, yes they do that thing where they "gently look into your eyes" as if they want to try kissing me.

But here's what I personally do not get -- it's a first meeting (after a video call screening), I can't possibly be the only woman who doesn't kiss or touch after talking for a couple hours to someone right? I do SEE many women in this culture getting SUPER affectionate on a 1st date, usually straightaway, and yes it's usually the *girls* who are "initiating" (they're VERY sexually aggressive in my city), with all their flirtatious hair touching/body language/excessive giggling & goggling at the guy.

Well, nice as I am, I don't do that. Sorry but not sorry - I would like to appear interested if the person is perfectly nice to me the whole time, but I will not do that with kisses & touching on a 1st meeting. Any input/feedback on this? I'd like to come across as warm but refuse to act like a desperate pickmeisha. Thank you!