TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Incredible_Alligator Archive

View 6 posts and 459 comments by Incredible_Alligator on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
24

Yesss! Be your own Valetine! I'm so excited for vday! I bought myself a heart shaped box of Godiva chocolate, a ring and two pairs of custom handmade made earrings. I might buy myself some flowers too because I deserve it! 💝💍💐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 05:58 AM
31

Unfortunately I have a pickme friend who has this same policy. I tried to explain to her that men won't value you or treat you with respect if you have sex on the first date. But she still disagrees with me and says that's how she operates. Needless to say, she's single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 07:54 PM
14

Yep, I've gotten "I'm an asshole" too. Guess what? He was an asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 06:37 PM
3

This sounds a lot like a summary of all the men I've met on OLD too 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 06:36 PM
31

He needs a thank you for obeying traffic laws. We'll have to follow him around thanking him every time he stops for a red light 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 06:28 PM
34

I love that they're meat clowns now 😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 07:02 PM
1

Haha, I won't hold my breath! 😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 05:38 AM
1

Someone else commented divorced men are no good either. They're someone else's scraps and rejects.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 02:52 AM
5

I would prefer someone the same age as me, not more than a couple years older or younger. Maybe I'll find companionship, but if not, that's ok too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 01:07 AM
15

Right? I mean basically this is saying if you're a woman over 40, you'll never marry either, because there are no men left to marry. I'm just going to accept it and try and move on. I will miss companionship though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 12:07 AM
16

Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 07:41 PM
8

I feel really bad for letting someone waste the last 4 years of my 30s. I'll never get that time back now. I very deeply regret this. I could've used that time to find someone to actually be in a serious relationship with. Ladies don't waste your time! At the first sign that he's not serious, dump him. You'll never get that time back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 09:49 PM
3

This is adorable! Thanks mods!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 06:56 AM
20

Yeah the craziest most abusive guy I ever was with, we took STI tests so we could have unprotected sex (never again, won't unless married) and after that my smell got bad. I was so freaked out because I never smell or have any odor. I think it was my body's way of trying to reject him and his psycho semen. My smell went right back to normal after I dumped him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 03:57 AM
12

Omg, what's with the watered down dish detergent!? My ex used to do that too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 03:53 AM
20

Thankfully I have never been raped or assaulted. But I've definitely been harassed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 07:50 PM
8

Hey sexy u bang?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 07:23 PM
13

😂🤣 I've gotten this message roughly 500 times! No more OLD for me 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 07:22 PM
34

I've always had to be the one to breakup. Even when the guy wasn't into me. They just treat me like shit until I break and dump them. So cowardly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 07:14 PM
22

When I used to OLD I often had men send me messages that were just insults. Like not a hidden insult or negging, but a straight up one. As a first message. I'm not a model, but I'm not hideous, just average and I take care of myself. I would never even consider sending a random stranger an insult! The whole concept completely baffles me 🤯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 11:03 PM
9

I'm struggling with this right now. I'm sooooo bored (plus covid lockdown). But my life is so quiet and peaceful and relaxing and I'm just soooo bored with it. I feel like I'm just rotting away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 09:37 PM
2

Haha thanks! I always feel like I'm sort of a failure as a woman, that I'm not the right kind of woman. Like I'm supposed to be one of those School Of Affluence women, and here I am being all scrappy and outdoorsy and swimming naked in the ocean like some kind of trash 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 12:44 AM
42

Priests rape little boys instead 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 10:27 PM
3

I actually have a different issue. I'm kind of an anti-capitalist/anarchist ex punk who enjoys simple living and a low waste lifestyle (as much as is practical). I am against the monetary system and my hope would be one day humans will succeed in finding a more sustainable way of life. I find excessive wealth, or flaunting of wealth to be incredibly off putting. It makes it a bit harder for me to interpret the Handbook in a way that works for me, though I think it's possible. I am immediately tu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 10:19 PM
7

This is an excellent question!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 08:50 PM
2

It sounds like we live very very different lives and probably look very different in style. Which would explain the huge discrepancy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 06:43 PM
55

My next relationship will be my last.... because I have terminal cancer from living off of canned soup. Or...my next relationship will be my last.... because I'm planning to murder her and end up in prison.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 07:28 AM
3

The only acceptable answer is block and delete. Then you should probably read The Handbook again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 06:01 AM
9

Yeah I guess. I just hate OLD so much. It really stresses me out and I don't enjoy anything about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 05:59 AM
10

This is so depressing 😭😭😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 05:39 AM
14

Please no. If that is the case I will never date again 😐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 04:35 AM
5

OLD goes against the values of FDS, so yes, a lot of women here are against it. It's mostly full of LVM who put in no effort. It also promotes a pickme mindset, instead of just being busy living your life and meeting someone doing your thing, you're on there like an item in an IKEA catalog for men to discard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 04:34 AM
2

Ew. There's no way I'd give a partner $5000. Even if we were married. I'd rather spend that money on myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 09:21 PM
7

Yeah mine had 8 out of 10 of those too! I feel like several of them go together, or are pretty much the same issue. Same here, I have lots of great, stable and healthy friendships, but that guy made me crazy and stressed and anxious constantly. I didn't even realize how badly it affected me until it ended.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 09:18 PM
16

My last ex seriously had almost all of these. No wonder I felt so sick and anxious all the time, and I'm not normally an anxious person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 06:52 PM
16

I was reading this as if it was in a country where they don't have running water or electricity, hence the shopping twice a day. But your answer to these questions are so much better! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 06:23 AM
6

😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 06:42 PM
149

I think one of the most interesting things is so many people are describing my ex. It's like we all dated the same emotionally undeveloped, video game/porn addict who can't cook, is broke and has a filthy apartment with a mattress on the floor 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 07:10 PM
31

When I was a kid my mom worked full time and my dad worked part time and took care of me. But my mom would take me to the mall and buy herself something and tell me not to tell my dad. Even when I was a kid it seemed weird to me, because she worked (and we weren't poor). As an adult I realize how totally fucked up this was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 06:46 PM
27

My LV ex used to always ask me if my hair was my natural color (it was, I'm blonde but my hair gets a lot lighter in the summer from the sun). Like dude, you keep asking me!? I'm not sure what you don't understand!??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 02:01 AM
5

I just screenshot this comment. It couldn't be more true. I was with the LV ex and never knew how he felt about me or where I stood with him. Because he simply just didn't care and wasn't into me. I wish I'd been awake to this sooner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 08:53 PM
11

Yeah when I saw that air mattress, I was done. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 08:41 PM
24

Ugh I hate "hey". When I used to OLD my inbox would just be like 20 messages that all said "hey".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 08:18 PM
19

I wear leggings because I'm too lazy to wear real pants 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 12:18 AM
2

Love this! I definitely need to practice this more in my life 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 07:53 PM
105

Post was of two bare women's asses on an account that has absolutely nothing to do with nudity or sexuality. Basically just using naked women for likes and followers. Everyone in the comments was very upset, many people said they were unfollowing. I was pleasantly surprised to see many of the comments were like that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 07:41 PM
11

Well good thing it sounds like almost everyone who exists is a no for him. Then he can be alone and be miserable instead of spreading his misery onto someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 03:48 AM
21

I quit reading at "we split a drinks bill". Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself to settle. Don't. There are many other men out there. One you might actually like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 03:44 AM
22

Get a plan started, secretly without telling him or him getting suspicious. Maybe find a friend or family to stay with? Move some stuff out he won't notice and then hopefully you'll have a chance to move everything out in a hurry when he's not home. If you are in Canada, there's a program called Shelter Movers who will move you out free of charge. Change your phone number and block him from everything. I've been with guys like this and it's not good. This is emotional abuse. Best of luck and sta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 03:41 AM
6

Haha, it was pretty great to read, definitely worth it in this instance!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 03:19 AM
7

Throw them away or donate them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 07:40 PM
14

Yeah I feel like trying to knock these guys down a peg just isn't going to work. They aren't going to take it seriously because they don't respect women in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 07:28 PM
8

Ew gross, that's so nasty! I'm glad you got out of there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 08:43 PM
10

I feel like I'm still having those "no one is going to stop me" moments! I get to bicycle from Canada to Mexico!? I get to build my own tiny home and live in it!? I feel like I spent until my 30s trying to live for my parents. It wasn't until 36 when I really started to live my life. Congrats on living alone, it's so relaxing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 06:43 AM
2

Under the about tab. There's also a downloadable PDF there as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:31 AM
4

Thanks for this reminder! I know the way my LV ex situationship treated me wasn't really about me, but sometimes it's hard to remember that. I have a hard time with ruminating about "all the things I did wrong" when reality is even if I was "perfect", he still would've treated me badly. Plus I know he treated at least two of his exes just as badly as he treated me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 08:35 PM
18

You just described my ex. He ate foods a 5yr old would eat. Played video games all day. Has a shitty under the table for cash job. They don't want kids because they ARE kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 08:20 PM
14

I have never ever wanted kids, not even when I was a little girl and we all played house (I was always the husband, lol). Back when I was still doing OLD but before FDS existed, I met this guy who I should never have agreed to meet with knowing what I know now. Anyway, half way through the date he starts talking about having babies and how many babies do I want and blah blah blah. And I'm like none. It clearly says in my profile I never want kids. And he's like, "but you don't really mean that? …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 08:06 PM
6

There's also a free PDF version you can download and read on your phone!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 08:01 PM
10

Hahaha, this! Queen shit right here 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:59 PM
10

I would've got up and left. F that. I hate being cold! Hope you got warm and got yourself a nice meal after!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:58 PM
10

He's a scared little boy, not an adult man able to have a relationship 🤷🏼‍♀️ They are emotionally stunted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 10:26 PM
15

Yep, my ex LVM refused to call me his girlfriend. He just introduced me as his friend all the time which made me so mad. Found him on OLD. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 05:32 PM
17

Ugh. I wish I'd said that to my ex who didn't want to talk to me when the pandemic first started.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 07:48 PM
14

The one thing I've always really disliked about women's fashion is how it's designed so you can never be warm. It's to be sexy and FROZEN. Fuck that. I'm always cold, I just look like a dude in a huge coat with 10 layers on in the winter and I don't care. I won't freeze my ass off to be "sexy".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 07:44 PM
9

Even if a guy paid for my ticket, I still wouldn't go. First off, I don't do LDRs because they're stupid IMO. You never get an accurate assessment of someone in an LDR because you see them infrequently and whenever you do it's all vacation fun times and both of you are on your best behavior. Second, never fly to a strange city to meet a stranger! What if you meet them and you don't like them!? What if they're a creep or worse? Seems like a very dangerous position to put yourself in (and I am an …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 07:38 PM
18

Yeah that was my same thought when I read that :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 05:22 PM
2

I'm not really the type who gets attention from attractive men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 06:12 AM
17

Yes, exactly!!! You don't find quality men on OLD and I refuse to stoop to that anymore. It's all just creepy pervs on there 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 01:25 AM
14

Yeah I've done that. It's truly AWFUL. I get about 10 to 20 messages a day and every single guy either only sends a message that just says "hey", or has a blank profile, or I chat with them and by their 3rd message they are bringing up sexual stuff. I had over 300 likes on Tinder too (and I'm not even hot, I'm ok looking and take care of myself, but definitely not a knock out, I can't imagine how annoying apps must be if you're a total babe) but I don't want quantity, I want quality. OLD just do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 01:24 AM
6

I live in a city of 2 million. I can't find any high value men here. When you go out in public, every single person is on their phone, so there is no chance of interaction. All of the men on OLD here are LV. There might be a few good ones, but it's like winning the lottery trying to find one, and way too frustrating weeding through all the bad ones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 01:20 AM
75

Hahahaha, why is this so true!? 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 10:56 PM
29

Yes. My ex legitimately gave me chronic tension headaches and migraines. They disappeared now that I'm no longer with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 10:55 PM
92

I personally have a very difficult time even finding one person to date. The concept of having multiple men to date sounds nearly impossible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 06:27 PM
1

I can't use OLD anymore. It just sucked my life force from me. It was too draining.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 09:01 PM
3

I'm stoked for menopause!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 08:59 PM
30

I was sitting here enjoying my breakfast and thinking about how comfy I am and I had this moment thinking about dating some fictional dude who lives in a suburb maybe a 45min drive away. And thought about having to commute back and forth to each other's place or having to sleep over at his place and what a huge inconvenience that would be. And just thought, "wow, I'm not sure I ever want to date again!" Just thinking of giving up my free time and my space and my relaxing long breakfasts reading …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 08:52 PM
2

😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 08:48 PM
15

Imagine what these guys teeth must be like from all that sugar 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 08:47 PM
16

Oh geez, I was with someone very much like this minus the drinking and the finger poking, but otherwise the same. I think it's true. They have a bad childhood and then somehow don't develop past that point. They stay as a perpetual 10 year old and never mature into a full adult. I always used to describe my ex as a "not fully formed adult human".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 08:46 PM
37

It's only not gay to sit around playing video games all day living off a diet of pizza, canned soup, cheetos and soda while also having zero hygiene. Dying at 50 of a heart attack/cancer is sO nOt GaY.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 08:42 PM
2

Yes!!! Every time I see one of those posts I want to say this! Minimum 6 months to even consider MAYBE if he's HV or not. A year or longer to confirm it. Only long term consistency determines if he's high value!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 06:41 AM
5

Yeah when I saw this pic I was just like....what!? The audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 06:37 AM
3

Ugh I can't say don't enough times. I just ended a relationship with an emotionally stunted LVM with major intimacy issues from his super fucked up childhood. There's NO WAY I was gonna fix all that trauma and baggage. Even if I wanted to. I'd need a degree. And even then, he didn't want to, so 🚮🚮🚮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 06:31 AM
3

Ugh. Screw that!! I pay a therapist good money to listen to my problems, why can't a man do the same? Most of us don't have a degree in psychology.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 06:25 AM
2

Hmm, I would also be curious about zoom speed dating! I didn't even know that was a thing. I kind of enjoyed real speed dating pre covid. Even though I never met anyone, it was good practice and kinda fun to get out and meet real people. I felt like if I'd gone again several more times I might have potentially met someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 06:17 AM
2

Right!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:53 AM
3

Happy Birthday! It's my birthday on Monday! On my birthday last year, a month in advance, I asked my LVM to come on a fun 4 day road trip with me to an event I really wanted to go to. He said yes. The week before he started groveling, "I don't want to go for 4 days, how about just 3 days?" Then it was "I don't want to go for 3 days, how about just overnight and we see how I feel?" Excuse me!? See how YOU feel, on MY birthday!? I ended up canceling the trip entirely. He turned me down for sex the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 07:20 PM
30

Yep, so much this. I totally let my ex LVM vent to me about all his shit. His job he hated, his family, his existential crisis, etc. And when I needed some emotional support at the start of the pandemic he basically disappeared. I was expected to be happy all the time and never have problems but be readily available to listen to all of his like I enjoyed it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 07:09 PM
13

Scary thing was he changed his appearance frequently 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 07:05 PM
8

Yeah I did this exact same thing, same outcome. As soon as I was a real person who needed support, it wasn't "fun" for him anymore. It was only fun for him when he was hitting me up to complain about his job, his dad and his shitty apartment building 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 04:43 PM
3

So true. This is a batshit crazy society. It's crazy to me that being single seems like the worst "punishment" to most people, when it's often a step up! I don't think any man is going to be capable of being a cuddle buddy though, without wanting or expecting sex. And I feel uncomfortable cuddling people outside of a committed relationship. At this point I'm just going to try and accept a cuddle-less and affectionless life indefinitely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:48 PM
4

He is sick too. He had a ton of emotional childhood trauma and refuses to deal with it. Refuses therapy, thinks it's all a hoax. The guy is seriously messed up and refuses to acknowledge any of it. I'm glad your taking care of yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 05:03 PM
13

Yep I basically did the same. Send paragraphs about how things weren't working and how could we fix them and my feelings about him. He never replied. Still hasn't and it's been 4 months. I just can't even. He's blocked now. I stupidly thought he was my best friend 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 05:00 PM
16

I feel overwhelmed thinking about it too. I'm turning 40. I ended a situationship with a LVM at the start of the pandemic. And now I keep second guessing myself, like well, if we were still together I could at least cuddle him, but that's crazy talk! But so hard, because now I'm basically trying to accept I'll never cuddle anyone again. Covid could go till I'm 50. Or 60. Who knows!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:35 AM
190

Yep. This is how my situationship ended. I wanted to CoMuNiCaTe and he did not. Ghosted me after 4 years of knowing each other. Fuck that guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 06:12 AM
26

I like this! I'm going to try doing this every time I feel sad about being single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 06:07 AM
7

Thanks, I kinda needed this. The other day I took a couple friends to a secret beach I frequent. I go there 3 or 4 days a week in the summer if the weather is nice. To get there is quite a challenging trail that's very steep, muddy, slippery and requires a series of ropes to use in order to get up and down. My friend took pics of the whole trip and couldn't stop laughing about how I mention this beach constantly yet never mentioned this crazy trail, that she found quite intimidating. Meanwhile I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 04:02 AM
6

Yes! My ex LVM who is fake edgy had someone write a Vice article about something LV and ridiculous he did that very briefly had him famous in the local news. Eight years later he's still trying to milk his 15 minutes of fame from it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 06:51 PM
2

Thanks!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 05:58 PM
3

Oh yeah I'm 100% stoked for menopause! I have a lot of older women friends in their 60s and 70s and they all tell me menopause is awesome. Perimenopause... not so much 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 05:57 PM
6

This is the best. I also live a minimalist lifestyle in a tiny house. It makes so much sense. If we wouldn't fill our physical lives with useless clutter, why would we fill our emotional lives with useless clutter?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 06:23 AM
35

I'm turning 40 in a week and I'm so excited. I finally feel like I've reached this age where people realize I won't take their BS. In my 20s and 30s (and because I looked a lot younger) I was so frequently disrespected. At work. In relationships. By strangers. Mostly by men. I wish I had known when I was that age that I didn't owe them shit. Not one thing. Not being polite. Not a smile. Nothing. I'm so happy to be a 40 year old bitch!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 06:19 AM
4

Yep, I'm actually really enjoying not having the pressure to date or travel. I'm just working and saving money, getting some dental work done, doing video therapy, started walking 8 to 13kms a day. I dumped my LVM about a month after the pandemic was declared by WHO. It seems odd to be so relaxed during a pandemic, but seriously my life is so peaceful right now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 06:07 AM
10

Like the alcoholic who won't get sober and the traumatized man who refuses to get therapy I feel attacked, ha, I've been with both of these 🤦🏼‍♀️🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 05:59 AM
17

I read the description and I'm so excited to read this next, thanks! I'm currently reading another recommendation from another FDS commenter called The Price Of Admission and it's life changing. I love all these book recommendations!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 06:25 PM
28

Me too. It often takes me YEARS to move on, even with counseling. Even when the man is LV. I find it so frustrating. I know it's not logical. But I'll spend years ruminating and replaying every single aspect in my mind and crying over it sometimes years later. I hate it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 06:18 PM
5

They aren't in the Handbook because OLD doesn't really align with FDS, it's too low effort and filled with low quality men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 06:29 PM
9

Hahaha!!! I am fully expecting one of these "I'm a good guy, sorry about that" texts from my LV ex in a few months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 05:09 PM
7

I guarantee you'll feel so much better once you cut him out of your life. Block and delete sister! ✌🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 03:29 AM
7

I just got sick of his crap and realized I deserve more. I was just sick of the drama, sick of trying so hard to make someone love me, full of resentment, nothing I did felt good enough. I realised he didn't respect me and I decided I respect myself more. I don't need his crumbs. Since it's ended my health has dramatically improved!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 03:25 AM
11

Yep, I also was anxious and got depression from this! Fixed both of those now that we no longer speak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 01:54 AM
28

One of my exes was an alcoholic and possibly BPD or bipolar. Definitely some serious thing going on. He got into 5 drunk driving accidents. 4 before I knew him. One while I knew him. The 5th one was after we broke up. He flew through the windshield of his truck (wasn't wearing a seat belt.... he only used his seatbelt to open beer bottles with 🙄). He crushed the front side part of his head, and sustained major brain damage and lost an eye. He's now homeless and living behind a surf shop by the g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 09:17 PM
86

This will never get better. And it will slowly eat at you and erode your self esteem and undermine every single thing in your relationship. Just leave now, block and delete. I just went through this for 4 years. It's not worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 09:10 PM
2

Yep, this. I often check out new followers accounts and if they have 1 follower and are following 10 people and have 0 posts or something like this, I just block them. Giving up your whole IG over men is just another way we are letting men control us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 06:27 PM
1

Is it mostly pics of you? You could archive most of those and post pics of different things. I also have close to 4k followers and sometimes I get weirded out by the whole thing. But my account isn't really focused on myself, more on my hobbies and lifestyle and it grew when a few people made YouTube videos of something about me/with me in it. I just try not to post anything too personal anymore. But I still enjoy Instagram and I've actually made quite a few IRL friends from it. If I encounter s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 06:22 PM
6

Unrelated to content, but you should hide user names.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 06:05 PM
13

Three of my friends all had healthy, full term babies at 39/40. My one friend said the OBGYN didn't even believe her when she said she was 40. So... there ya go!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 10:20 PM
12

Wow. I mean, even when my self esteem was at it's lowest, I never would've responded to this. Immediate block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 08:20 PM
20

🤢🤢🤢 so gross. I got one telling me I looked like Boris Johnson.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 06:25 PM
9

This is pretty much my entire OLD experience right here. I don't do OLD anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 06:12 PM
41

I'm of average attractiveness, and of course I always used great photos in my OLD profile. But countless times I would just get messages from guys that were insults or something really mean. As a first message. Like who does that!? Why even message someone at all then? What do they even get out of that, that's sociopathic behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 05:54 PM
5

I also like: "I don't drink because it causes cancer". Which is true and the actual reason I don't drink much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 07:44 PM
15

It's a neg. A compliment would be that dress and bag look great on you! You have great style! But here he's not actually saying that, just questioning your choices and "confidence".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 07:02 PM
39

I've written about this before on this sub. I was in an almost 4yr long situationship with a LVM. Shortly after meeting him, I started to get chronic headaches. The headaches got worse and worse, tension that started in my neck, turned into a tension headache and then became debilitating migraines. I went to the doctor a bunch of times. We couldn't figure it out. I was worried it was from reading books too much on my tablet. Or maybe perimenopause. I got my eyes tested. I went for massage therap…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:57 PM
4

Hahaha!! So true!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 04:48 AM
42

Haha, so true! My dad is 78 and I'm an only child and he taught me how to do everything! I can paint a house, drywall a house, do basic carpentry, fix a toilet, hang shelves, change my own oil, change my own brake pads, do other basic vehicle maintenance etc. We also built a tiny house together that I live in. I'm also a self taught bike mechanic and I wrenched for a bit 💅💪🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 04:00 AM
30

Omg, bad teeth make me want to barf. I just went to the dentist yesterday and all my teeth are great. But I've had a questionable molar for years (I have quite a lot of dental work because my parents neglected my teeth when I was a kid). We were "keeping an eye on it" and now the time has come and I have to drop $2000 on it. I don't have a dental plan, but no worries, I have the money. Meanwhile my LV ex coincidently had that same tooth pulled while we were together because he didn't want to spe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:50 AM
53

I had a friend similar to this. He didn't bathe, didn't comb his hair (which is a long curly rat's nest), didn't do his laundry and smelled like a homeless person. Then he would complain to me about how he was single and couldn't find a girlfriend or a decent job and no one would give him a chance. He used me as a free therapist too many times and I basically cut him out of my life because I was done. It was like dude, if you're not going to do anything to help your situation, I don't want to he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 01:42 AM
3

Oh phew, well that's certainly a relief! Though a very poorly done poster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 01:15 AM
4

Thanks! How bad is this for viruses and malware, any problems with it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 08:33 PM
23

Wow. How could Netflix make something like this!? WTF. I might have to cancel my Netflix now and just steal shit off the internet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 08:24 PM
5

Yeah any man who loves Jordan Peterson is going to be LV. He has YouTube videos about how women shouldn't have careers. Basically professes how a woman's place is in the kitchen and their job is making babies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 08:22 PM
4

Yes, what other commenters said: Jordan Peterson 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 08:18 PM
154

This sounds like a dream! I'm 40 and most of my married friends essentially ditched me after meeting their husbands. Especially my best bestie, I don't think her husband likes me because he wants a "traditional wife" and likes JP 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 05:33 AM
5

About once every 12 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 03:59 AM
17

Yeah until I found FDS, I didn't even really understand the concept of waiting to find a HVM. Or even what to be looking for, so I always settled for LVM because those are the only men I met. No more of that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 11:08 PM
9

2 or 3 times a week depending on whatever else I'm doing that week.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 07:42 PM
64

Me too! My life is calm and peaceful and organized and happy. And as soon as I'm dating someone it turns stressful and chaotic 😫
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 07:38 PM
24

Ugh, this is terrible. 19 and 47. I hope she gets out of this soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 07:35 PM
11

Yeah I have 5 friends who all met their SOs on OLD. And all of them seem to be HV (both my friends and their partners). However one of those, she literally spent YEARS on OLD to find her husband. She went out with countless duds. It seemed to come pretty easy for the other 4 couples, but then I don't know them quite as well. I think this high ratio of success with people I know deludes me into thinking it's a great way to meet someone. But I've had nothing but terrible terrible times on OLD. I f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:57 PM
52

They literally make a list so long, specific and exact on purpose so that no woman can fit it and then they can spend their whole life looking for this "perfect woman" until they're old and die alone. It also gives them an excuse to never commit to anyone because she's not a horse-girl who wears wood jewelry and keeps a cactus 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 11:33 PM
12

Hahaha!!! Ok that's messed up but also kinda hilarious in how bad it is! What a loser 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:40 PM
3

Not quite sports, but I was dating a LVM in my 20s and he asked me if I liked chess. My previous LV ex before him was an alcoholic and I used to drink with him and he would proceed to school me at chess, so I just assumed I was terrible at it (but I was drunk). So I told current LVM I'd play chess but I was terrible at it and I proceeded to beat him 3 times in a row! Hahaha he wouldn't play anymore after that. Then same LVM bought a foosball table and I also beat him a bunch of times in a row at…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:00 PM
14

I also tried Match a few years ago. It was a complete waste of money. I tried to get my money back actually (I think they gave me a portion of it back). It seemed like there were very few men on there and most seemed like bots. It was actually worse for me than Tinder, OKC and POF where at least I went on a few dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 07:26 PM
1

He sounds like he's describing a man. Projecting much?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 07:04 PM
4

😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 06:55 PM
35

At the end when she says, "...with a tape measure" 😂😂🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 06:49 PM
9

You are awesome and smart and funny and talented despite your parent's gaslighting. Under no circumstances believe what male bullies say to you in high school. Don't grow up believing men your age don't like you because of them. Don't lower your standards because of them. Don't ever date an alcoholic. Always remember you come first and you are a priority.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 06:45 PM
2

I died. I love this, it made my morning! 😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 06:35 PM
8

You should break up with him and then go to counseling alone to figure out why you lowered yourself enough to date someone like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 06:25 PM
24

This almost a complete summary of my ex LVM situationship of 4yrs. Can't cook a proper meal. Can't dress himself. Can't keep his apartment clean. Can't keep a proper job and now currently working for cash for a convict scammer. Spends all his time playing video games and dress up. Says he "can't love". A hypochondriac. Porn addiction. Quite narcissistic. Initially his "childlike nature" attracted me to him because I thought he was sweet and innocent. Turns out he's just a completely incompetent …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 06:20 PM
78

Haha, this is not my experience. There are no penises. But that's ok. Just peaceful silence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 05:43 PM
5

I've always wanted to do Krav Maga. It had been on my list of things to do in 2020, but then covid happened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 06:27 AM
7

This is me already pretty much! 😂🤣 I'm more like the cool beer aunt, who travels 2 to 3 months a year and comes back with exotic trinkets for my friend's kids. Covid has put a temporary wrench in the traveling, but it's giving me a chance to tie up some lose ends and things I've been meaning to get done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 05:42 AM
12

I've been doing everything alone since forever. I just got sick and tired of waiting for someone to join me. I go out to eat alone, ride my bike, go to the beach, go on vacation, road trips, go for a beer flight occasionally, walk in the park. I mean, fuck it. Eventually you just get sick of waiting for other people, at least I did. I don't even notice if anyone is looking at me, and even if they are, I don't care. If you waste your whole life waiting around for someone else, you'll waste a lot …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 06:27 AM
17

I feel like this is just standard OLD in the US and Canada. It's complete garbage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 06:17 AM
14

Yes, I agree, and rightfully so. I've dated someone like this before and he stalked me for a few weeks afterwards because he couldn't accept I was dumping him. Stay safe OP! Please find someone to stay with. Change your phone number if you have to. Tell him you're going to call the cops if he bothers you and then call the cops. This guy sounds super creepy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 05:41 AM
8

Yes, hopefully! 🤞🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 01:28 AM
12

How does this happen 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 10:35 PM
40

They're delusional. And when they're 62 and diagnosed with prostate cancer after eating frozen chicken tenders exclusively as their diet, they're going to be like, "oh fuck. I'm all alone."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 10:34 PM
85

Ugh. Is this a white guy wearing a Native American headdress!? 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 10:30 PM
19

Story time: I dumped my LVM situationship in April. I was friends with his best friend on Instagram (this was right after finding FDS). Once in awhile we would chat about stuff. Like his dad passed away and I sent my condolences. Or we'd talk about music or something. Anyway after I dumped the LVM, his bf messaged me and we ended up getting into this huge debate about how women are treated and he sent me a link to this woman's account. Bf is a HUGE fan of this woman. This was right around when I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 07:34 PM
6

Yep. Honestly it's a big regret of mine that I was such a pickme in my 20s and 30s and only dated LVM. If I had been a Queen back then and had been HV, I think I could've found a HVM. But now I'm 40, and all the men left close to my age who are single all have some huge massive issues about something. Either PDs, commitmentphobes, emotionally unavailable, fuckbois. Most men who are still single at 40 have something seriously wrong with them. So I've accepted being single for the rest of my life.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 07:15 PM
4

I love her comics so much. I think I'm going to buy both her books! Thanks for posting this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 06:53 PM
2

I love this too. Definitely going to live like this. I've only had one HVM and he never, ever made me cry, he cheered me up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 05:24 AM
7

I've had two therapists also suggest OLD to me as my life doesn't involve meeting a lot of single and available men. However both of them are much older than me, in their 60s, and I think they just think of OLD as sort of a "man catalog". Like it's just so easy to go on there and find one. But neither of them have ever done OLD. They have no frame of reference besides this fantasy that OLD must be a good place to meet men. You really can't listen to a therapist's advice about OLD if they're not …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 05:11 AM
4

I died at, "it's like buying something from Wish!" 😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 12:14 AM
2

Red flag 🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 12:12 AM
1

😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 12:08 AM
6

Get a therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 06:40 AM
2

Yeah I think part of our culture is being polite and obliging, especially if you're a woman. But screw that. Strong, healthy boundaries are where it's at!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 06:08 AM
4

I couldn't even watch past a minute. There's so many things wrong with this. Is this a show!? Because whatever this is, is garbage 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 07:28 PM
24

I haven't been single for a year yet, but I really related to the Dreaded Day of Silence. I had tons of those from the LV ex. Sometimes 5 days of it. And then I'd stress about it. So much so that I developed chronic tension headaches and migraines. So I'm super relieved not to have to deal with that anymore (and all my headaches stopped)!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 07:20 PM
2

Hahaha dumpster diving! 😂🤣 That's such a great analogy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 07:15 PM
11

As a fellow Canadian woman, I'm with you. I also think it's gross to touch or kiss a stranger on a first date. I don't even want to kiss or touch on a 2nd, 3rd or probably even a 4th date. At that point you've probably known them somewhere between 6 to 10 HOURS. I have no desire to smash face with a stranger. In the past when I was a huge pickme, I felt like I was obligated to touch or kiss sometimes even though I really really didn't want to (I was taught not to enforce my own boundaries) which…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 07:14 PM
46

It's only through this sub that I came to realize my last ex LVM was a porn addict. It makes so much sense now. He didn't do any foreplay. He needed me to wear a bunch of things in order for him to get aroused (basically I let him dress me up like a sex doll 🤢🤮🤡) and he only came doggy style.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 07:01 PM
19

Yep, I am frequently up until 4 or 5am because I often work until 3am. Then I get home and I'm hungry and have a snack and might browse reddit or IG for a bit before I go to bed. Lots of people work strange hours. But hey, someone's got to drive a bus/ambulance/cashier/bartend at 2am!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:46 PM
3

Yeah I love testerical!! I'm definitely using this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 05:59 PM
119

He's using you for emotional labor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 09:08 PM
94

When strangers approach and ask me if they can ask me a question, I always answer NO. Either they want money, or they're weirdos. We don't have to be nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 09:07 PM
16

Hahahaha, this really made me laugh. I love this! It applies to so many different scenarios too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 08:22 PM
4

Maybe he doesn't hit you but he tells you you're stupid and unattractive through subtle negging and accuses you of cheating on him even though you've never cheated on anyone in your life (or even thought about it).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 08:17 PM
7

I solved all my problems by not doing OLD Same here. Fuck OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 08:10 PM
8

Yep, couldn't have worded it any better. My mom is a codependent pickme, and so were both my grandmothers. It's what a lot of women are taught growing up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:37 AM
31

I came to say... philosophy major, HUGE red flag. Never date a man who's studying philosophy. They all seem to be LV. They like to play "devil's advocate", neg, and think they're smarter than everyone else to compensate for their insecurity issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:31 AM
22

Yes!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I wish I'd been like this when I was younger. Hell, I wish I'd been like this last year even.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 10:00 PM
6

Block and delete. You shouldn't have said sorry or that you still wanted to see him. He sounds disrespectful and manipulative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:46 PM
17

This is so fucking gross. They're both scum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:36 PM
8

Yikes 😬🚩🚩🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:31 PM
9

I totally relate. Especially where you said: almost nothing has caused me such deep level of pain and disappointment as men ever since I entered adulthood and started dating not to mention how much energy and time I wasted on them I completely feel the exact same. I've had great friends my whole life, I'm always gainfully employed and overall super responsible, but men have been a blight on that. My last ex LMV situationship (on and off for 4 yrs 🤡) has really left me in this same place where I'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:30 PM
15

You're not wrong and you're not missing out on anything. OLD really isn't worth your time and the chances of finding someone worthwhile on there is less than winning the lottery. Use the time you'd be wasting on OLD to do something more productive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:20 PM
4

I'm not sure I've noticed a difference yet. Partly because of covid too, I haven't really been interacting with people IRL as much, except at work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:22 AM
19

Gotta love it when they blame us for their own stupidity 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 08:54 PM
5

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 08:45 PM
38

After showing him old pics where I weighed slightly more (like 10lbs or less), "oh wow, if you gain weight like that again, I won't be attracted to you anymore". Also he was obese.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 08:43 PM
60

Agree. Since joining FDS I've become way more brutal and I love it. A guy from work friended me (a lot of us are friends on fb and we have a bunch of fb groups related to work) and right after that he made two gross/weird comments on one of my posts. So I immediately blocked him. Old me would've just put up with it for fear of offending him. A pickme friend made a comment on a fb post about "teaching a man to love" and I went off on her and told her it wasn't my job to teach a man to love, it's …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 06:41 PM
75

My ex LVM man said to me "I don't message 8s, 9s, 10s" when referring to why he messaged me on OLD. A different NVM also blamed me for getting kicked out of his PhD program (because he was lazy), saying, "it's because I started hanging out with you. The quality of your speech is dumbing me down". I can't believe I stayed with either of them 🙄🤡🤡🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 06:28 PM
3

I wrote these to my ex too, but I didn't send them. I needed to get them out, so I typed them out on my phone. Finished. Closed it. After a few weeks I'd look through them and delete them. Eventually I quit entirely. Maybe still write them out, because it's cathartic, but don't actually send them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 04:26 AM
14

Ha!! I love that feeling too!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 02:12 AM
14

I think another aspect of this is that since LVM don't put much effort into anything difficult, they also don't cultivate friendships with other men. So I think they go awhile without ever speaking to anyone because they don't have any friends. Then when they finally snag a date, they have verbal diarrhea. I've had this experience too with LVMs in their 40s and 50s. They just won't shut the fuck up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 11:09 PM
13

".....with muh penis."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 11:04 PM
2

None of them. OLD takes almost zero effort, so it's full of LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 10:59 PM
8

Yeah, exactly!! My mom is a guilt tripper, so I grew up with that and I try to not listen to it anymore. And I definitely relate to the walking on eggshells thing! But I've learned if someone is so unstable that trying to talk to them like an adult makes them distant or enraged, then they're the problem and it probably can't be fixed 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 07:36 PM
25

I have one of these lists in my phone notes. I pull it up whenever I feel guilty (why 🙄) for dumping him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 06:40 PM
22

Yes!!! I'm so so so happy every single day I don't have kids! 🙏🏼🙆🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 04:07 AM
14

You might be in love with the fantasy version of him in your mind, but that's not who he really is. He sounds terrible. When I was working through feelings I couldn't get over around an ex NVM, my therapist prompted me to come up with this analogy: imagine you're on a beautiful tropical beach. You're walking on the sand. You see a beautiful gift on the sand for you (this represents your LV ex who's very handsome). It's such a beautifully wrapped package. And you open it up, and what's inside....…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 10:34 PM
10

Block him. Read the Handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 10:28 PM
18

I don't think I can get past the whole vagina thing. I just don't really want to be near one or touch one (other than my own). It kinda gives me the heebies. I'm not sure if that makes me an asshole, or just really straight? I think women are beautiful though, but it wouldn't be fair to a beautiful woman to not love all of her the way she deserves 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 10:26 PM
11

We don't fix men. If they are trash and won't deal with their issues, we take the trash out. Please read the Handbook!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 10:21 PM
64

Me too 😫 There are women I find attractive, and I've even had crushes on women before, but the thought of doing any sexual stuff with a woman really doesn't appeal to me, which is tbh a bummer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 08:15 PM
16

She looked so hot 😭😭😭 I'm glad she dumped him, she's worth so much more!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 07:13 PM
11

Agreed! 65% invested after marriage!? What the heck? That's more than 50% of your life/emotional labor/ hobbies/ interests (and no man is THAT interesting) nope nope nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 07:09 PM
1

😂😂😂😂 I mean I think it's ok to accept that humans are meant to live in community with other humans. Evolution favored us living in groups. Human touch is on Maslow's hierarchy of needs. So I don't need a solution. I'm just trying to grieve and accept this sense of loss and not being able to have that. And it's sad and disappointing but that's ok 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 06:57 PM
2

Unfortunately I can't get a dog. I have a job where I'm often away from home for 10 to 12 hours and don't get home from work until 3am 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 04:36 PM
3

It's not the sex I miss. It's the snuggling and cuddling on the couch. And cuddling in bed. And little kisses here and there. Sure I can rub one out now and then, but honestly I can go three months or longer without masterbating and I don't even notice. It's the closeness and intimacy with another human I miss. Humans aren't really meant to be solitary beings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 03:58 PM
2

I give all my love to my plants! Haha I talk to them and tell them I love them all the time 🌿🌿🤗🌿🌿
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 04:07 AM
3

I feel ya. I find myself hopeless too. I'm 40, I'm somewhat unconventional in lifestyle and looks and I'm holding out for a HVM or else be single. I'm pretty doubtful I'll ever date again. But it's ok because my life is great, but I will miss physical intimacy. I'm hoping after menopause I won't care about it anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 04:01 AM
3

I feel like my level has fallen now, because I haven't done the app in awhile and I haven't had anyone to practice with. I had planned to go to Uruguay this year, and obviously that's not happening. I had almost finished the Spanish course the first time, then got distracted by other hobbies. I've worked my way through it about 4 times, but never made it as far as that first time. So I've used it on and off for about 4 years. Overall though, I'm really impressed with what I learned in the app. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 07:45 PM
3

The free version!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 07:20 PM
9

...and second, get off online dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 07:14 PM
14

I'm not sure if it's HV or not, but I'm super into houseplants. I collect plants. I research all about them and how to take care of each of them best and I treat them like my babies! One of the only other subs I like is r/houseplants. Everyone there is so supportive and nice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 07:07 PM
9

The Duolingo app is awesome. I taught myself Spanish with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 07:05 PM
5

Oh yeah!! Great advice! I started skating when I was in my teens and I'm 40 now and I still skate. It's a fun hobby that keeps you in shape and if you learn tricks it feels very rewarding to finally nail one!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 07:56 AM
6

Me too! 👋🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 05:55 PM
187

I think it's because they really don't care. They don't want to converse. They don't want to get to know you. They're just trying to figure out how little effort they can use to have sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 05:38 PM
43

Haha I thought she was referring to the dude at first too 😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 12:55 AM
8

Thanks for this! I read Attached, but it was a couple years ago now. I had forgotten this passage, but it's so great! I also recently discovered an activated attachment system can cause physical ailments, because your body is pumping out cortisol and other stress hormones. I was having tension headaches and migraines for the last 3 years, and after I ended the 3yr situationship (where I was totally breadcrumbed and ignored all the time) my headaches stopped. The only healthy relationship I have …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 08:00 PM
13

Omg, why are they all the same!? My ex LMV seriously eats like he's 5. But then he acts like a little kid, so it totally makes sense. My favorite foods are sushi, pho and Hong Kong style Chinese food. So we could never go to any restaurants I liked. It was always burgers and pasta. And I hate burgers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 07:09 PM
13

Since I never want to go on dates in the first place and usually have to force myself, if someone cancels my first reaction is, "whoo hoo!!! Yessss! I get to stay home with my plants and Netflix!" and I wouldn't reschedule. Actually it's a win win 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 07:03 PM
8

Getting out of my situationship has been such a relief. I feel so relaxed and at peace finally. My headaches and migraines stopped. My life is totally stress free, if somewhat boring. But I'm now in a place where I'll take boring over drama any day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 06:17 PM
6

I'd say I'm somewhere between 30% to 40% covered. I have a full sleeve on one arm, my other arm is covered in random large tattoos. I have a chest peice, some stuff on my hip bones and then a few small ones here and there. I always loved tattoos. As a kid I had a collection of colored ball point pens I'd draw tattoos on myself and my friends with. I started getting them as soon as I turned 18. All of mine were expensive and from very accomplished artists, nothing cheap or tacky looking. But over…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 07:16 AM
7

I have a sleeve too! And my other arm is covered in large ones (almost a sleeve, but not quite). I also have large chest peice covering my entire chest above my boobs. If I ever go back to OLD I might try covering them up in all my pics!? I don't know how to stop attracting weird tattoo fetishy creeps who assume I'll be kinky. Good luck with the new guy, I hope he turns out to be decent!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 07:05 AM
1

I will! I love reading too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 04:35 AM
4

There probably are, but I haven't met any.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 01:50 AM
14

I totally agree with you, and I won't change myself ever again for a man. But I do think I severely limited my options by getting so many tattoos when I was younger. And now I'm 40 and I look back on my life and wonder what I missed out on. But ce la vie I guess. Also, I've never had a man actually care about my personality before, or care about getting to know me. I'm basically just a tattooed sex doll to men 🤢🙄 Edit: not entirely true, I had one good relationship once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 01:42 AM
3

Yes. I feel they're one of the main reasons I've never met a HVM despite having a successful and well rounded life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 01:17 AM
17

While I agree with you (and also OLD is trash) as a heavily tattooed woman who regrets my tattoos, I realize so many people see "lots of tattoos" as being ugly ☹😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 12:06 AM
3

😬😬😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 12:02 AM
5

Great recommendations. I just downloaded a few of those. Looking forward to reading them. Especially the one about childhood trauma, and Getting Off. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:47 PM
71

Mine would be: she took the $5000 and never saw or spoke to him again and lived happily ever after.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:38 PM
3

I love these too! I love Nayyirah Waheed. Thanks for reminding me of these.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 07:16 PM
7

Thank you! I actually wrote a post just like this a few weeks ago but then changed my mind and never posted it. But you just said exactly what I wanted to say. If you haven't known the guy for at least a year, you can't assess whether he is HV or not. Being HV is demonstrated through consistancy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 03:04 AM
5

As a professional driver (my job is driving) how a man drives is a huge thing for me. Driving is serious business. Drive like an ass and you could kill someone. Also, I want to feel ok letting him drive my own vehicle if something should happen, without worrying he'll smash it or do something stupid. My last dude was actually an incredible driver. I probably felt more safe than with anyone else I'd ever been in a car with. Unfortunately that was one of his only good qualities, he was shit at alm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 10:31 PM
6

I actually like shorter men. I just require them to not be an asshole. It's that easy. Be short, heavy, whatever, but don't be a misogynistic jerk 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 10:26 PM
1

Yeah me too with IRL and OLD, just losers. I'm trying to up my game to maybe attract more quality guys? I am HV but I'm also kind of punky/alternative and into simple living and low impact/low waste so I think I dress and look like I'm not HV. So my plan during covid is to up my game in that department. But I think I'm really done with seeking out dating. If I meet someone, great, but otherwise I'm so much happier when I don't do it! And yeah, how do people find more than one HVM!??? I can't eve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 06:04 PM
2

I realized awhile ago I actually HATE dating. Like sure, I'd love to meet a HVM, but I just hate dating so damn much. I don't want to make small talk with a stranger for a couple hours. I always leave disappointed because there's something horribly wrong with the guy. I never feel an immediate attraction to anyone. Dating is just a chore to force myself through that I hate. I should probably never do it again. Thank goodness I can't right now anyway because of covid. It's actually been such a re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 08:32 AM
4

I took pics of my ex LVM's disgusting bedroom one morning while he was in the shower because I was feeling so resentful and also disgusted with myself. I deleted them, but I really wish I'd kept them now as a reminder. So gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 08:23 AM
2

Thanks, you as well! ✌🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 05:22 AM
4

I come from a long line of pickmes. My mom is a pickme. Her mom was a pickme. I think my dad's mom may have been a pickme (but my grandfather died young and she never remarried). Both of my grandfathers sounded like LVM from the stories I've heard. My dad was a LVM when I was growing up, though he upped his game as an old man, becoming the full time caregiver to my mom (tbh I think her health issues stem directly from his emotional unavailability). So I don't get mad at myself for this. Actually…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 10:11 PM
5

Same here except it's been 3 months for me. I had been experiencing chronic tension headaches and migraines for 3 years. I had no idea what was causing them. I got my eyes tested. I went to the doctor multiple times. I kept a food diary. I assumed it was perimenopause. Once I dumped the LVM my headaches became less and less frequent and now I rarely have headaches at all! My energy has returned, I'm sleeping well, my neck quit hurting. LVM take a physical toll on your body. I really wish I'd dit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 10:00 PM
2

I needed this printed out poster sized on my wall for the last LVM. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 09:41 PM
5

Yeah I'd probably just look for new climbing friends. Tons of people are into climbing these days. Hell, you could probably even find someone on Instagram or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 06:20 PM
56

Snake room!!! I'm not into snakes but I love the idea of having a whole room for snakes! Send the LVMs in there, lol 🐍🐍🐍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 07:19 AM
18

I was waiting for the joke at the end. Pretty disappointed this Pickme was serious 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 07:13 AM
1

Yeah there's some really terrible advice on there. I couldn't take it anymore. It's almost as bad as AITA.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 10:25 PM
2

I'm turning 40 next month too! Happy Birthday, birthday month sister! 🎂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 10:24 PM
20

😂🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 05:11 AM
93

I was subbed to both r/datingoverthirty and r/datingoverforty and I had to unsub from over30 because it was so bad. But over40 isn't nearly as bad. I mean there's still pickmes on there but at least they seem to know something shady is going on. Makes sense though, it took me nearly 40 years to figure this shit out too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 01:45 AM
300

It's usually "he hits me and emotionally abuses me and calls me names.... but he's perfect in every other way!" 😫🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 01:42 AM
4

I agree! I'm obsessed with my plants and they add so much to my life! I'd take my plants over a man any day! Also I want this shirt: who needs a boyfriend when you have plants
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 05:33 PM
4

Please someone make this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 02:53 AM
21

It's definitely NOT Canada or the USA.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 02:18 AM
6

It IS a warning sign. Block. Delete. Read the Handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 07:59 PM
9

I have an IG that's kinda popular and I don't want to make it private because it's focused on a hobby of mine and I enjoy the community and interactions I've had on there (met a lot of cool people IRL through it). However I also have a list of men stragglers following me. All dudes I went out with once or twice who ended up being duds. I should probably block them but honestly I don't even think about them. One is a guy I went out with from work who told me he made an account just to follow me. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 07:56 PM
29

In the last three months I dumped my LVM situationship, found a new therapist, and I'm currently more happy and at peace than I've probably ever been in my life. I have a great job, lots of fun hobbies, family, lots of great friends. I'm in good shape and I've been focusing on eating healthy. At this point if I was single forever, it would be totally fine with me. The 3 years of chronic tension headaches and migraines all stopped after I ditched the dude. I think the thing is a lot of LVM don't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 07:43 PM
2

Yeah I was thinking of just one guy and he got 14.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 08:00 AM
31

I didn't bond with either parent and that caused me to seek partners who hurt me in the way I was hurt growing up This is definitely my issue too. I was just talking about this in therapy today. How I was taught to make a romantic relationship 90% of my life, when in reality it should be like 3% of my life. Figuring that out today was a huge relief.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 07:52 AM
41

Awesome, so good to know these incredibly accomplished women are our future!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 07:46 AM
3

My ex LVMs OLD profile was entirely like this. He said he volunteered and it turns out it was like 10 years ago and he hadn't done it since. And he also had to do it as part of his job! So he wasn't even really volunteering at all! 🤦🏼‍♀️🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:58 PM
43

Hahaha he's not only gross, he's stupid too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 08:13 PM
24

I've struggled my whole life with the same issue. I know I'm not ugly. And I've had many men tell me I'm attractive. For me the worst things to do are to compare myself to other women. Stop doing that. Don't compare yourself to anyone because no one else is you (easier said than done, I know). Stop using OLD. Just stop. I've been on and off of OLD and every time it messes with my head and lowers my self image. Using it implies you DO care what men think and you DO want/need their validation. You…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 08:04 PM
41

Goals. I'm going to cycle 7000kms across my country next spring and summer. I know my ex creeps my Instagram (but I won't make it private because it's slightly famous due to a hobby of mine and I enjoy the community). Can't wait for those legsssss 💪🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 07:12 PM
10

That was my exes deal. He could never have a serious conversation (especially about our "relationship") because it made him uncomfortable. He never wants to have uncomfortable feelings ever and lives his whole life burying his head in the sand. I can't imagine being so afraid of having feelings that I basically can't live my life or have normal relationships with people. Like dude, go to therapy and learn how to process your emotions without immediately grabbing an xbox controller every time you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 06:56 PM
4

Thanks, I love tattoos on other people! I've spent YEARS telling myself no man would want me because of my tattoos, so now I don't really like mine anymore even though they're all really well done and are by very good artists. But I always loved tattoos. When I was a kid I had a collection of colored pens I'd "tattoo" myself and my friends with!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 05:11 PM
42

I love this. I've spent my whole life being mad at myself for enjoying having short hair, having lots of tattoos, not being super into makeup or dressing up "girly". I'm also loud and I have a really loud laugh. I've wasted so much time wishing I was someone else, and for what? For some dumb ass man? Even when I try to fit into all those boxes I still end up disappointed. I'd rather be alone and be happy with myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 05:35 AM
10

Yes, I've replied to one of these the other day and I regret it now. I don't even think the op read my comment anyway. I totally forgot the main rule of this sub is don't post anything against the Handbook and you must read and understand the Handbook. Thanks for this reminder!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 08:47 PM
15

That makes so much sense. I did reply to one of these posts and I won't be doing it again. Isn't one of the main rules of this sub don't post unless you've read and understood the handbook?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 08:43 PM
21

How are you finding them!? Teach me your ways! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 07:01 AM
74

I've never ever met a man in my entire life who went to therapy. This seems like a unicorn. They'd rather self medicate with video games, alcohol and weed 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 06:13 AM
3

I think op meant OLD: Online dating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 05:26 AM
7

Thanks, it happened a year and a half ago and I'm doing well. But I made a comment yesterday that he was a HVM in my life and has since passed on. Scrote messaged me to ask if I killed him 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 10:24 PM
51

Thanks!!! Perfect. Got a message from a loser yesterday making fun of my comment about my friend passing away!? Like one of my closest and dearest friends passed away from cancer and a stranger needs to send me a snarky message because I posted in FDS. Fuck. That. Going to do this now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 08:41 PM
6

I totally feel this. I've on and off (more off) done OLD for years. I often only last a couple days because I'm either bombarded with low quality messages and/or a guy sends me a message that's just straight up an insult as a first message (not sure what the point of that is)!? I find it so draining, stressful and anxiety inducing I usually delete after a couple days. I met my last ex LVM "situationship" on OLD. I've never met any quality men on OLD. Everytime I go on there I just feel this comp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 08:30 PM
3

Never date a man who can't deal with their own emotions. Never date a man who's insecure. Never date a man who talks shit about his exes/baby mamas/his own mom/any woman. Never date a man who calls all his exes "crazy". Never date a man who won't take your no as an answer and/or gets huffy and upset about it. He sounds like a controlling narcissist and he's pushing your boundaries and then guilt tripping you into feeling bad even though you did nothing wrong. Everything wrong in this story is hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 07:23 PM
62

I'm actually looking forward to being 80, childless, single and rich. Sounds great to me! Eldery women are the happiest demographic in Canada
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 06:53 PM
2

What a weird issue of contention to get your ego all ruffled up about. We can't even go to the bathroom right 🙄🙄🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 06:51 PM
20

This thread is making me so happy right now. I feel like when you're just standing on the edge of the abyss of understanding. Like I'm just about to fall down that hole where I will never worry or think about men again. I have had a HVM in my life (he's passed away now), but they seem sooooo rare. Even my dad isn't a HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 07:26 PM
10

Yep. My old counselor told me to do this exact thing. I usually save it in a note in my phone, so if I'm out in public and get sad thinking about him, I can just read through and be like, "oh yeah... gross!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 07:14 PM
10

Work on getting friends first and building a good life for yourself before you start dating. At this point it's likely just what you're using as a distraction to make you feel better. But a romantic relationship will not fix your life. And the wrong one will make it significantly worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 07:08 PM
6

A lot of stress and anxiety will lift once you cut someone like this out of your life. This is so true. I didn't realize until I ended it, how much stress and anxiety my "situationship" was causing me. It sounded similar to OPs situation. Not knowing where I stood with him, him refusing to discuss what we were, it was all causing me chronic low grade stress. Once I ended it I stopped having so many headaches and muscle tension! It's really been such a relief. A relationship like this is not heal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 07:05 PM
29

Anyone who gives you the silent treatment is not a HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 11:33 PM
15

Right!? I cook my damn self home cooked meals every night. And they're probably better than whatever this guy is making.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 06:00 PM
72

He rides his bike with his eyes closed!? Sounds like that's gonna take care of itself, lol. Darwinism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 07:51 AM
19

Ugh, chill is the worst. The last LV ex says he's "chill" in his bio and he's probably one of the most anxious people I've ever known. Such a load of crap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 07:48 AM
3

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:55 PM
26

Haha, that's like putting I can breathe, poop and brush my teeth on your profile. Dude, doing chores isn't a hobby! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:40 AM
7

Yeah that's a really good idea!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 11:06 PM
58

Also I've found it's the SAME dudes that were on there 8 months ago when I last used the app. I live in a city of 2 million. And it's literally been just the same dudes on OLD for the last ten years. Also find a lot of my friend's LV exes on them too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 10:47 PM
1

Dear John was so creepy! Really good, but so creepy. They also made a documentary that was on Netflix about that same creep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 10:45 PM
5

Haha, ugh geez. There were so many red flags even on our first "date", which was a walk of course! I met him on OLD and his user name was something like Ugly_Fat_Short_Loser (he was tall, handsome and had a full head of hair). We went on our "walk date" he showed up dressed like a total slob and his car was fucked up. And he talked about his mom's mental health problems and his fucked up childhood. Ugh. I'm so embarrassed. I'm so happy I found FDS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 09:37 PM
13

The title of the book should be This Is Why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 06:43 PM
15

Sooooo this. I literally didn't know I could tell a man who liked me (who I didn't like back) no when I was younger. I didn't want to seem like a "prude". And I didn't want to "hurt their feelings" 🙄 I definitely have some regrets. Turns out I am a "prude" and fucking proud to be one. But no one ever taught me I could say no. I was taught to always be "nice" to men. What a load of shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 05:27 PM
9

We were in this "situationship" for 4 years. He seemed like my boyfriend. We hungout several times a week. Had sleepovers, sex, made nice breakfasts in the morning. Went on a trip together. He was there for me when a very close friend of mine died. I had xmas eve dinner with him and his friends. By all accounts it seemed like he was my bf. But he absolutely REFUSED to call me his girlfriend. He won't call any woman his girlfriend, but strangely after it's over with them he then calls them his ex…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 05:22 PM
10

Haha naw, I should've done that thing where you post the quote (but I don't actually know how to do that) about how this dude has a "not-girlfriend" who he's stringing along. A dude just strung me along for 4 years. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 05:10 AM
18

I fully expect my ex to be exactly like your description. He wants to have many women chasing after him (they aren't) rather than one, solid, decent woman who actually cares about him. He's 42. In about 5 years I think he's really going to regret some of his choices.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 05:03 AM
15

Ugh. I just dumped this guy three months ago 🙄🙄🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 04:49 AM
2

Did he say lol enough times? I'm not sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 04:23 AM
14

Ugh. This guy sounds SO AWFUL and entitled. Just fucking DUMP HIM!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 03:41 AM
16

I'm so glad other people feel weirded out by kissing a stranger. To me even 3 or 4 dates in, this person is still a total stranger and I have zero interest in kissing a stranger. I've always found it weird that most people seem to think this is normal. I made a comment on this over at r/datingoverthirty and got downvoted to hell (I also unsubbed from that sub because it was so full of pickmes 🙄).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 07:53 PM
1

I love this guy's art, I follow him on Insta! Great messages right here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:52 PM
3

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:42 PM
2

We're badass babes! 😍🤗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:33 PM
25

I came here to say this, every day is "men's day" 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:24 PM
8

Yay! That's me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:18 PM
18

I think my most recent ex (also a gamer) felt like hanging out with me and communicating with me at all was "stressful". I'm not a stressful person, and I'm not argumentative or confrontational. But his anxiety was a bit out of control on top of his attachment issues (avoidant). He basically just wanted me there when he was in the mood for me. Sorry I'm not an option who's available when you feel like it. It was like dude, if being with me is so fucking taxing for you, I'll help you out. See ya!…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:16 PM
11

This is so perfect and so true. Same as an alcoholic, can't deal with their emotions, games to numb themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:04 PM
17

You might try r/raisedbynarcissists
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:00 PM
6

I feel like I "catch feelings" so rarely and I'm so rarely attracted to anyone. I think I've definitely missed out on a few HVM just because I felt nothing. My rate is roughly I'm attracted to someone once every 5 years. But then when I do find someone I'm into, I cling for dear life, even if red flags are slapping me in the face. Sigh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 07:30 AM
13

This is why I never share my financial info with a man. I never let them know how much money I have and just pretend I'm poor. I was dating an alcoholic once and I had left a job and cashed out my pension. I got a lot of money. I NEVER told him. It would've been a disaster. I'm really good at saving money and I always have a stash going for either a trip or an emergency. Never disclose personal finances or share finances with someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 09:34 PM
94

I've never gotten anything near as nice as this from any man I've ever dated. Even the good one. Honestly, this was most likely made/set up by a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 09:01 PM
8

We don't chase men. We don't beg them for their attention. We don't live our lives based on what men think about us. You really should read the Handbook because it's honestly life changing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 10:31 AM
14

Ew gross!? Like he wants to fuck actual bunnies, or women dressed like bunnies? Either way still gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 10:20 AM
17

😂😂🤣🤣 I legit burst out laughing at this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 09:35 PM
11

Haha, your mom sounds like a smart woman!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 08:29 AM
38

Wait until you hit 40. All the men close to my age are total LVM. They're the "leftovers". At this point it seems unlikely I'll meet anyone decent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 02:55 AM
3

Yeah I think the ghosting after 4 years part is the most difficult part for me to reconcile myself with. I considered him my best friend. He was my closest confidant when a very dear friend of mine passed away in 2019. I'd never do that to a best friend. It just made me realize how little he cared about my feelings and how little he valued me. Sorry you went through a similar thing. I think these guys are so terrified of everything, that the only way they can deal is to just disappear because th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 06:53 PM
3

It's because they're cheap as fuck and are always looking for a deal. Whether that's physical therapy, mechanics or sex 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 06:26 PM
5

He blew hot and then warm and then cool and then cold. A cycle we repeated several times, all of which resulted in me breaking up with him and then getting back together. When he was warm he was SUPER cuddly, like full on cuddle sleeping with me the entire night. I think he desperately wanted closeness but it terrified him. He didn't like to talk about anything personal. He got uncomfortable whenever I talked about my own feelings. He wouldn't have any kind of conversation about our "relationshi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 06:00 PM
3

Yep. Ex's mom was a schizophrenic alcoholic. His parents yelled and screamed at each other and threw things at each other throughout his childhood. Now he "doesn't feel feelings" because he's so emotionally disconnected. And he's got a massive fear of intimacy and commitment. He didn't respect me or any women. He's a walking tire fire. And doesn't "believe in" therapy or the entire science of psychology. Total irreparable damage case that guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 08:24 AM
16

I feel ya. Before I started FDS I'd send men first messages on pretty much every OLD platform. I have never ever had a man reply. And I'd always say something short but refer to something said in their profile. I'll never msg first again. I might never OLD again either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 08:13 AM
5

You forgot Philosophy student boy 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 07:50 PM
7

Haha I'm not sure, a bit of both. On one hand, it's nice to not have to deal with constant unwanted attention from gross dudes. But on the other hand I sometimes feel left out that attractive dudes have never asked me out. Maybe that's the pickme still in me tho. I find it interesting though that the advice is to date multiple men simultaneously. And I'm over here like.... I can't even find ONE dude to date. Especially not a HVM 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 07:43 PM
5

Same here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 07:31 PM
8

What is up with that? The fixing things? I went out with a guy who asked me to fix his bicycle (I was a bike mechanic briefly) on a first date so we could go on a bike ride. Um... no. How about you take your bike to a shop if you can't fix it? Another dude asked me to carry a car seat... A CAR SEAT...down a flight of stairs for him. Unfortunately I was a Pickme and I did it. But who asks their date to carry a car seat!? WTF is wrong with these guys 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 07:20 PM
17

I feel ya, me too. And I often wonder the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 07:08 PM
7

Haha! That is such an apt comparison about the little kid and a teacher! Haha she's my female, but only when I need her. When I don't need her she ceases to exist!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 02:44 AM
6

I had a friend who's like this. He never bathes. He doesn't wash his clothes and he fucking stinks. Everyone would just stand far away from him because he smells like a homeless person. Then he would whine and complain about how he doesn't have a girlfriend. But he would say he wanted a woman who was ok with his stink. Like.... that is no woman. We are no longer friends. Not just because of the stink either, but the only time he'd ever call me is when he wanted me as a free therapist. I finally …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 06:16 AM
6

Thank you! This is great and I'm totally going to do this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 05:54 AM
9

How did you do this if you don't mind me asking? Did you write down all the things you wanted in a partner? Did you just visualize him in your mind? I like this idea! I have made lists of ideals before but never really applied them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 05:27 AM
27

Haha, yeah this definitely sounds more like it. The dude who doesn't "believe in" psychology 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 05:20 AM
4

Is he wearing part of a plastic shopping bag around his head!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 05:17 AM
93

Besides the 1000 other things wrong with this, he first says he wants a woman who won't be around a lot, but then goes on to say he doesn't want an independent woman. Um...what? So is she just supposed to go to her cage when he's not in the mood for her?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 05:11 AM
5

What in the actual fuck 🤦🏼‍♀️ I feel sad for her :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 05:05 AM
4

It could be for their public image. And they want kids for their "legacy" and maintaining a committed relationship is the most socially acceptable way to do this. But they're probably still thinking about sex with other women all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 08:22 PM
7

This was so good. I've screenshot and saved multiple sections. I needed this like 4 years ago, lol. I was in an on and off again situationship with a seriously emotionally stunted LVM. The last straw was when we got into a stupid fight about a sort of feminist cartoon over text. Which made me realize he didn't respect me or women. I ended up giving him an ultimatum and he decided to just never ever speak to me again. And I was that stupid Pickme trying to fix him and diagnose him and make it wor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 08:19 PM
11

Everything you said just sums up my ex so perfectly. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 07:49 PM
13

Though I've always known this in the back of my mind, it's still disappointing and a bit sad. I think back to all the times I thought I was having a nice convo with a coworker, or a friend, and they were probably just thinking about banging me the whole time. I've never had a friendship with a man where at some point he didn't suggest having sex, so I knew this was true. But the full realization of this just makes me sad. They are basically just sperm machines that don't care about us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 07:30 PM
6

Yeah that makes so much sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 07:04 PM
50

I also have serious doubts that men can feel love. I'm just not sure they're wired for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 08:09 AM
3

Gender Critical
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 06:02 PM
6

My ex LVM said to me soon after meeting him, "I don't message 8s,9s, and 10s". He messaged me. Well gee thanks. I mean I might not be an 8, but saying that to your date is incredibly rude. I also wish I'd ended it MUCH sooner. This kinda feels like a similar thing. I'd be out if it was me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 07:52 AM
2

I like @florencegiven 's Instagram!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 05:54 AM
10

This is frickin adorable!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 09:01 PM
25

Same here. I spilled my guts and he decided never to speak to me ever again. Hoping I don't develop a complex now 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 08:53 PM
8

🤢🤢🤢🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 10:26 PM
50

Thanks for this. I came here to say the same, that more men complete suicides due to more lethal methods, but more women are suicidally depressed. So any way you slice it, women are raped more, subject to more violence and often suffer from depression more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 05:42 AM
8

That's what men do. They always put themselves first. So why can't we?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 09:46 PM
5

Because women aren't taken seriously, that's why your perfectly normal and reasonable feelings about having kids are disrespected. Don't listen to them. I knew I never wanted kids from a very young age. People were always telling me I'd change my mind. I'm turning 40 in two months and I still haven't changed my mind! Sorry you have to deal with these people. You do you! Not having kids isn't selfish at all. It's one of the single best choices you could make for the environment. Also knowing you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 06:41 PM
5

It looks like a pube ring 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 06:23 PM
5

Wow. He could be going to therapy. Learning a new skill. Helping the less fortunate. Literally anything useful but this is how he chooses to spend his time. 🤯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 04:42 AM
1

You don't have to be nice. He's garbage. You did the right thing and your friends sound like Pickmes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 04:39 AM
3

Same here! I've spent thousands of dollars on therapy and read hundreds of books so I don't put up with the excuses about that anymore. Either you want to change and be a better person, or you don't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 03:49 AM
9

Same here. My ex had Schizoid PD, and grew up with a schizophrenic, alcoholic mom and a ragey aspergers dad. Had a terrible childhood that messed him up but refuses to deal with it. I used to feel bad for him all the time. But he treats people like shit. His problems aren't my problems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 06:13 PM
28

Haha, my first thought was he was going to propose too! But then I worried I was just living in fairy tale land. So glad this worked out for op!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 08:22 AM
1

I definitely love my bohemian lifestyle and I wouldn't change it. I also have a decent job, lots of money in the bank, and I'm financially independent. But I'm definitely not a "boss". I'm also 40, so like, I should have my whole life perfected by now. I just have to accept I'm the weirdo outcast I guess. I meant more referring to the fact that I'm odd and terminally single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 08:55 PM
3

I grew up with an entire group of boss lady friends and we are still friends. Several of them have impressive careers in high powered jobs. Meanwhile, I'm kinda the bohemian, artist, non-comformist of the group. I'm also the only single one in the group and the only one who has a long history of terrible relationships. Sometimes I feel left out that my life is like this :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 06:38 PM
13

Oh wow, this was great! I've read three books about attachment theory, but some how he said it in a different way that I really related to. Thanks for posting! I'm going to check out his other videos too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 05:41 AM
6

Fully agree!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 04:55 AM
28

I think there's statistically only 1 HVM for every 1000 HVW out there though. So by these chances, it's kind of like winning a lottery to try and find one in the wild.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 06:56 PM
4

Gooey! Haha, so true. I always think of them as sticky lol. Gross. No thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 01:06 AM
3

A bunch of my friends had kids at 39 and 40. They all had healthy pregnancies, so it's definitely possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 01:05 AM
20

I'm nearly 40 and childfree and I love my life! I get to do whatever I want! I make good money working at a job that allows me to set my own schedule. All the extra money I save I use to travel 3 to 4 months a year. I watch all my friends with kids struggle to even get a few hours to themselves. I never ever wanted kids though, even as a small child I thought dolls were stupid. I spent a month in Hawaii last year, sitting on the beach every day, and drinking Mai Tais at happy hour :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 07:34 PM
4

I also recommend the mirena IUD, though I know a lot of women don't like hormonal contraceptives. But once I started perimenopause I developed menorrhagia and the mirena totally cured it! It's truly been a lifesaver (and an iron-saver)! I have barely a period at all now. I couldn't do the copper one, it made my periods horrific.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 07:30 PM
1

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 07:19 PM
9

Lol, right? I'm turning 40 in a couple months, and I was carded a few times in January! Meanwhile dudes my age look 10 years older than me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 07:16 PM
28

I so needed this. It's been two months since I dumped the LVM who did exactly this... twice! Because I stupidly asked if we could try again after a couple years of low effort friendship 🤦🏼‍♀️ But I keep falling into a trap this week of thinking I won't find anyone else and as Nat Lue says, thinking he was my "last chance saloon". Sigh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 10:11 PM
42

This is why I dumped the last one. He whined and complained to me about his job and his shitty dad for 3 years and when the pandemic started, I just wanted a bit of emotional support during an uncertain time and he was super distant. Then when I asked for support, he complained to me that I was placing too many demands on him. Fuck you dude. I just listened to you bitch about dumb shit for 3 years and you can't text once a day during a pandemic!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 06:50 PM
8

Yeah, that's me 😫
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 01:12 AM
11

Wow. This explains so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 05:34 PM
6

No, that's not what I'm saying at all. I'm saying take care of yourself. I take my meds, I go to therapy. I workout. I make sure I'm in a place where I know I'm good. I can't be a good partner to anyone when I'm in a bad place. I'm still loveable because I have mental illness, but I don't make that someone else's issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 08:03 PM
5

I have struggled with mental illness too. That was said poorly by the above commenter, but it would be better put that if you are in treatment, seeing a professional/on meds, activity working hard to keep yourself on track mental health wise, then you're absolutely loveable and capable of dating and having a relationship. But personally, if I'm in a place where shit is falling apart and my mental health is bad, I know I'm not a HVW at that point. The thing is a lot of men with mental health prob…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 07:55 PM
17

Well I'm really fucked then. Infact I was just talking about this with my therapist yesterday. I always loved tattoos as a kid (I had a collection of colored ball point pens I'd "tattoo" myself and my friends with). So when I turned 18 I started getting tattooed. Now I'm nearly 40 and I have A LOT of tattoos. They're all by really good artists, were expensive, all nature/animal themed (so like not cheap tattoos of skulls and barbed wired). But I do feel having tattoos has created a problem for m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 07:43 PM
15

This was great, thank you. I've been with at least 3 narcs (and my parents are narcs). After reading this, it really sunk in my last LVM was a narc too, just a little less toxic than the first two. My parents are nearly 80 and both have the emotional maturity of young children. LVM seemed like a perpetual adolescent, with an EQ of about a 9yr old.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 06:27 AM
1

Hahaha, "some guy who probably wears the same underwear two days in a row"! So true. I mean I totally agree with what you're saying. Also I know I have done a bunch of ridiculously cool and amazing things, more interesting than almost every man I've ever met. So you're right I don't need to sell myself. On top of that I feel like men never read women's profiles anyway. So you'd just leave your profile pretty much blank then?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 03:03 AM
4

This makes me question what I usually put in my own profile (I'm not currently on OLD, and not sure I'll be back). But I am genuinely confused as what to write? I don't want to give too much away upfront, and I just realized most of my hobbies are "basic". So...advice, what kind of stuff do you write in your own profiles?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 09:48 PM
22

My ex LVM has "looking for a relationship" on his profile, however he never wants to be in a relationship. I asked him why he lies about it then and his response was that the women he's interested in reject him if he's upfront about never wanting a relationship. So he lies. He's looking for girlfriend quality women, but he's just a fuckboy. Most men lie about what they want on OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 09:42 PM
16

Haha, I came here to say dating should not be like IKEA lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 09:37 PM
45

Ha! She's hilarious and awesome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 08:38 PM
20

I've only been in one healthy relationship, and I try to use that now as a benchmark. The best things about it were I always felt safe to be myself. I never had to watch what I said. He was never embarrassed of me or to be seen with me. He always cared about my feelings and opinions. He built me up, not dragged me down. I never had anxiety about the relationship. It was easy and relaxed, like I never had to worry about when I'd last heard from him or when I'd hear from him again because he was c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 05:49 AM
5

This 👆🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 05:37 AM
14

This! My instincts and intuition have always been right and in the past I chose to ignore them with disastrous consequences. If your gut is telling you something bad about this guy, it's probably 100% right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 05:31 AM
50

The way you said he's constantly messaging you and constantly calling you and wanting to hang with you sounds like narcissist love bombing. And if you say he lacks empathy, he's likely a narcissist and now he's starting the devaluation phase by trying to make you feel bad about yourself. Seriously block this guy and never talk to him again! Narcissists are seriously dangerous and will play fucked up mind games with you until you're completely unsure of yourself. Yikes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 05:28 AM
70

Hahahaha, I'm riding the train and laughing under my face mask 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 03:51 AM
11

I always say I'm not looking for a fight, but I've been waiting my whole life for one. I've got 40 years of fight saved up in me. I'm 165lbs and it's mostly muscle. We can totally take him! Let's see how he likes "heavy impact play".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 10:44 PM
20

That is my favorite line from any show ever. I used to have a pic of Wanda saying that as my phone screen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 10:40 PM
8

I'm turning 40 in a few months. I have never ever wanted kids and I still don't want kids and I don't regret it. Especially now that all my friends have kids, and I see what their lives are like, I'm just so happy I have my life. I travel all the time, I can work as much or as little as I feel like. All my time is my own. I'm just missing whatever biological chemical or desire or whatever it is that make women want kids. And I'm totally fine with that! I have no interest in dating a man with you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 10:33 PM
3

😂😂🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 11:43 PM
3

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 11:40 PM
6

When all these dudes who are in their 40s now, start turning 60 to 65, start getting prostate cancer (very common in men), heart disease, other illnesses and realize they're all alone with only their video games and porn fantasies to take care of them, they might have an "oh shit" moment. Maybe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 11:39 PM
8

Yep, exactly. Mine pretty much said this right to me. Off you go then, good luck with that loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 11:35 PM
23

Lol, I kinda prefer the opposite. I like a little guy I can throw over my shoulder who fits into small spaces nicely 😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 11:33 PM
6

It's totally normal to me. I actually think wanting to kiss a stranger is kinda gross. Like...ew, I barely know you, why do I want you up in my face!? I rarely ever have an immediate attraction to anyone, so my desire to kiss them soon into meeting them is nonexistent. It's a HUGE turn off for me if a guy goes in for a kiss on a first date. Or even a 2nd or 3rd date really. It's your boundary, if you don't want to, don't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 07:39 PM
42

My ex LVM has a silicone sex doll, because he can't handle the intimacy of having sex with a real woman. It would be a great solution if he just stuck with that. But he also still dates actual women and then just treats them like a sex doll 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 06:32 PM
224

I really don't have a problem with short guys. Height is uncontrollable. But if you're insecure and weird about it and need to lie about it, then I have a problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 06:20 PM
13

Me too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 05:51 PM
9

Haha, it does seem like they came out of a factory! I was thinking that after I wrote that, like.... my description almost seems cliche! But these dudes are a phenomenon! Porn, video games, no life, no motivation. Ugh. Gross. Mine also had weird issues from porn. He actually had a life sized silicone sex doll and I know he preferred having sex with it over a real woman because a real woman was "too much work". And here women are bettering ourselves and improving ourselves and these dudes just st…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 05:27 PM
68

I don't have the answer to this question, but just replying because I'm wondering myself. I'm fit, smart, funny, reasonably attractive, have good finances, good friends, a good job, I do a lot of solo travel and still the ex LVM was unwilling to call me his girlfriend. When we got into an argument about it (through text) he basically said he wanted to have many women on OLD chasing after him. So basically he would rather have a bunch of LVW pick-mes chasing after him for hookups than have one go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 10:09 AM
4

Omg this made my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 02:02 AM
2

😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 01:48 AM
14

I can relate too. My dad was also a controlling, ragey, functional alcoholic who was super weird about money. He's actually a lot better human now that he's really old and survived cancer. But he was no picnic when I was a kid. I remember my mom (total pickme doormat) would buy herself something, with her money, and tell me not to tell dad or she'd get in trouble. So fucked. I totally grew up with this idea that I owed men. Even men I didn't like. I had a fair amount of what I called "pity sex" …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 06:48 PM
24

This is the cutest thing ever!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 06:32 PM
29

I picture it wearing a fake neck beard, with a fedora on and pillow "gut" under my shirt, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 06:16 PM
4

I love this whole post so hard! ❤ Saving in my phone for rereads!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 06:07 PM
26

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 So true. I found quarantine to be the perfect opportunity to end it with the LVM. And post covid I plan to do the same as you. I want to learn how to sail, I want to travel to Uruguay and Vietnam, I want to join an adult swim club. So excited to do new things regardless of whether or not I meet a man!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 05:02 AM
2

Finding a good travel partner is almost as hard as finding a good relationship partner! You really have to jive with that other person. I hope your next trip is filled with all the museums and bus tours you could ever want!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 08:36 PM
2

I love dogs too! Unfortunately my job makes me away from home too long to have a dog. Dogs are great cuddle buddies! I wish you cuddles too, maybe doggo cuddles :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 08:33 PM
3

I don't really get the same thing out of a quick, friendly hug as I do from sitting on the couch next to someone snuggling. I'd feel kind of uncomfortable snuggling most of my friends. I have a couple friends I'd be more open to cuddling with, but they're both too busy 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 08:19 PM
4

Yesss!! It's so fun not having to worry about another person! You can do anything, sit in a cafe and read for an hour, lie on the beach, go on a walk, and never have to worry about pleasing another person. I think maybe that's why I love traveling so much. It's the one thing that makes me feel truly free, where I'm not struggling with people pleasing or guilt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 08:08 PM
6

I'm not sure I identify with this in the same way. I think touch is important, it's one of the basic human needs. When I'm single (which is usually) I have gone almost 2 years without even a single hug or touch from another human and I think that's just as unhealthy as using cuddles as a coping mechanism. I think humans need touch, we are wired for it, it's part of being human. I can definitely survive without cuddles, it's just a bonus of being with someone. I'm currently just setting myself up…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 08:05 PM
10

I love this: "...take up as much space within a relationship as I do being single". I'm definitely saving that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 07:57 PM
6

The only thing I miss is cuddles. I looooove cuddles. That was the one thing my ex LVM was actually decent at. But even still, cuddles aren't really worth all the rest of the hassle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 07:38 PM
14

Don't date any man with a philosophy degree. Seems to be a commonality among LVM. Also anyone who subtly insults themselves in their profile, major insecurity issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 06:31 PM
5

If you want a therapist, I charge $160/hr.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 06:25 PM
17

Honestly, these just seem like red flags to me. Calling them anything else suggests there was a small possibility these men were a good option, when they all clearly sound like they weren't. Can't cook 🚩 Can't do household tasks 🚩 Possibly abusive 🚩 Selfish 🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 03:51 AM
17

This is disgusting 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 03:43 AM
8

Also staying at a shared accommodation is a good way to meet people! I prefer to have a private room with shared kitchen and maybe a shared bathroom if I have to (depending on cost). Having a shared kitchen space is a fun way to meet fellow travelers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 09:46 PM
14

I have probably tripled the amount of friends I had just from traveling. I've met so many cool people all over the place. It's definitely not lonely if you're open to talking to people (stay safe of course)!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 07:11 PM
84

I solo travel all the time and it's honestly the best! All my friends are either married and/or don't have the time or money to travel. I gave up on waiting around for other people so I have been traveling solo for the last 8 years. I always end up meeting cool people and making new friends. You'll have an awesome time! You get to do whatever you want! Have fun!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 07:08 PM
1

Right!? Cooking is so much more enjoyable when you have good kitchen stuff!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 06:34 PM
12

Hahaha oh geez, I seriously lol'd at that! 😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 04:15 AM
27

Forever. Never initiate. That's his job. And if he doesn't initiate within 24 hours, unmatch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 03:36 AM
1

Lol, what the hell, right!? How do they live like this!!??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 10:46 PM
11

I had a LVM who also had no kitchenware, not even a dish cloth! I live (by choice) in my very fancy campervan/tiny house I spent a year building with my dad. Everytime I'd be at his place and wanted to make food, I'd have to go down to my van to pack a bag of dishes, fry pan, utensils etc in order to cook. I literally have more kitchen stuff in a van than he did in his house (I also cook all the time and make a lot of delicious food). I finally bought dish cloths and tea towels for his house bec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 08:28 PM
12

I'm really into my birthday, I don't care much about Christmas or other holidays, I just like to have one day a year just for me. So last year I planned a special road trip to see something I really wanted to see. I asked LVM a month in advance and he said sure sounds fun. Trip was supposed to be for 4 days. As the trip got closer, it turned into 3 days. Then just overnight and "we'll see how I feel about more days". Like, it's my fucking birthday!? See how YOU feel!?? I was so annoyed and frust…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 08:18 PM
3

Oh wow, this is so spot on. I totally feel this, thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 07:52 PM
30

That is terrifying!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 07:43 PM
4

Oh geez, "who's drafting up paragraphs of texts to make everything right" that was my worst habit 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 07:35 PM
5

Here's a handy chart of Relationship green flags that has been previously posted in FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 04:48 AM
17

Baggage Reclaim is awesome! I'm not that big into podcasts, but I love reading all the articles on her blog, even the old ones. All her advice fits in great with FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 04:34 AM
11

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 03:38 AM
56

This is so terrible. I'm crying for her. I'm a huge plant person and my home is filled with plants. They are my friends. This would be so devastating 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 03:36 AM
8

It could be, I was thinking that. But I dunno, it just seems unlikely. I feel like a guy would be way more into doing this than a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 09:18 PM
21

Yeah that's the part that alarmed me the most!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 04:18 PM
44

He was offering $400/month. Not sure if that includes the "trial" 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 07:01 AM
33

😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 06:53 AM
13

Holy. Fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 06:31 AM
64

So true. "Can I ask you a question" is always, always 100% bad. When people ask me that now I always reply NO. I've even had men say that IRL and I also say no, which ends up being hilarious because they aren't expecting that 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 06:37 PM
20

It's also done more for me than years of therapy and reading self help books have done. My self esteem hasn't been this high since.... ever. I always blamed myself for all the shitty dudes I encountered, but this sub has made me realize these men were just trash. Ironically I started with a new (and expensive) psychologist at the same time I found FDS and now I really feel I'm just wasting time and money with the psychologist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 06:34 PM
5

Omg, mine said the same thing too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 06:24 PM
18

So true. Just dumped a LVM who was a former philosophy major. He's always playing "devil's advocate" about stuff he really shouldn't be talking about (racism, feminism). He can't cook a real meal unless it comes out of a box in the freezer or a can. Has a job working under the table for an ex-con. Dresses like a thrift store reject. Terrible in bed. Super selfish in general. Video game addict, has 6000 video games he refers to as his "collection" like it's fucking expensive wine 🙄 Ugh. Just stay…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 06:23 PM
61

He's also saying "I don't respect women's personal boundaries or space and I'm rapey". Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 12:50 AM
49

🤢🤢🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 11:00 PM
37

I live in a beautiful, tidy home filled with beautiful plants and decor. It's not a traditional house (that's a story for another day), but I love my home so much. Last night I was thinking about how FDS encourages you to dump a man if you do not get a proposal within a year. And I immediately thought "noooooo!!! If I get married I can't live in my beautiful home anymore and I love it here!" which led me to the conclusion maybe I'd rather be single, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 07:11 PM
7

I had a similar experience. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with an alcoholic and dumped him and found Buddhism. I really got into my Buddhist practice, was meditating 45 minutes a day, I really felt connected with "life force" (or whatever you want to call it). About a year later I had the unfortunate experience of meeting a NVM narcissist who I started dating. I knew something was off, but I couldn't figure it out. I figured there was no way I could be in two abusive relationships…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 06:58 PM
4

I briefly worked as a company chauffeur for a large development company. My creepiest client once put his disgusting hand on my leg while I was driving him somewhere. I instantly grabbed his hand and threw it away from me and told him next time I'd break all the bones in his hand. I was the only female driver and I quit shortly after. I legit will break a man's hand. Or arm, leg, face, whatever. I probably would've broken Rona man's hand. What a creep. That sucks you had to deal with that! I hop…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 06:49 PM
3

I finally dumped my LVM on and off situationship of 4 years because of the pandemic. We weren't seeing each other because covid, and then he basically dropped off the planet. Anytime I'd text he'd reply "things are great!" because he's introverted, has few friends, and lives in a bubble. Meanwhile I was dealing with my very old, disabled parents and my public service job and all I wanted was a check in and some support. He refused to talk on the phone or video chat. And didn't contact me for 5 d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 04:56 PM
3

So true, especially about how apps rewire your brain. They really pin point the weakest aspects of humanity and exploit them. Which is probably why OLD is such a dumpster fire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 06:50 PM
7

I've been lurking on FDS and this sub has really changed my life! I'm a recovering Pickme. Anyway, I signed up just to jump in here. I 100% agree that OLD is absolute garbage. Every man I've ever met off OLD has been a LVM. Though that was all pre my FDS knowledge, so I had low standards. So I fully support the idea of a OLD never again situation. However, and maybe it's because I'm still working on my Queen status, men IRL NEVER approach me. I would much rather meet men IRL, but I feel like tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 06:39 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter