Thoughts on this post? Everyone is blaming OP, but all she wanted was to spend more time with him instead of playing video games for hours.

loudest_gusset · 2020-07-09T18:59:33+00:00

He ignores her for weeks, comes home to a home-cooked meal, and spends most of the day out of the house working with a chance to talk to other people and socialize, while she's stuck at home working due to the pandemic and making sure there's a home-cooked meal waiting for him. He is probably the only social interaction she's been getting for weeks, and she's supposed to be grateful that he cleans up after himself and eats the meals she cooks for him while he treats her like a nuisance? Since when is spending time with your partner an activity that induces stress? If anything spending time with her should help him relax.

So finally after weeks of this with no foreseeable end (because if he doesn't even have the new stressful job yet, how the fuck will he manage the more challenging job), she gets fed up with it and simply unplugs his console so he can finally pay attention to her, never mind the fact that he can just plug it in like nothing ever happened. Boohoo, so what you have to restart your level. If you like playing games so much it's a chance to play some more later. Yet apparently, she's totally crossed the line and a complete asshole deserving of getting coldly kicked out of her home.

The audacity. This is why I don't go on AITA anymore.

GRCA · 2020-07-09T17:58:24+00:00

Men feel so entitled to their shitty coping mechanisms. Video games, porn, drugs. They need them because they’re stressed or depressed. Never mind actually addressing the issue long term with a career change, lifestyle change, therapy and treatment, etc.

Better off just leaving men like this; they don’t care how their habits affect you, and you’ll never convince them that these habits are a problem.

sadcello · 2020-07-09T18:36:17+00:00

Men are so weak, they get easily stressed then they can't do anything else but play video games or watch porn. Meanwhile even under stress women still can handle three kids and a job. It's really fucking pathetic. Men are protector my ass, they can't even protect their emotional state.

Don't ever date gamers, they're never worth it.

Sage_Planter · 2020-07-09T16:46:51+00:00

Advice from mostly teenage boys in there.

Somehow when women are stressed out they manage to still be active participants in the relationship and not just lock themselves in the garage for weeks on end with noise canceling headphones.

You dont just get to check out of a relationship everytime life's hard, thats how you end up alone. Plus it shows her that he finds being with her is a chore, but playing video games with his friends an escape from his relationship. She should leave him for that alone.

Also if this is what it's like for him before he gets the job, its going to get even harder if he gets the job and he clearly cannot handle the responsibility of having a career and relationship at the same time.

u/andromedauntouched

diflorus · 2020-07-09T16:22:44+00:00

[deleted]

lonelybones1 · 2020-07-09T16:25:52+00:00

That's why we don't date gamers. That's like dating a 5 year old boy. 🤮

gcthrowaway2019 · 2020-07-09T18:08:27+00:00

NTA men never care about how stressed we are from work or anything else when it results in less time with them (aka sex). I'd leave and never look back, especially since he told me to.

Elegant-Stop · 2020-07-09T18:35:34+00:00

He literally kicked her out of their home for unplugging a console. In what world is she the asshole?

And all the scrotes in the comments think he’s god’s gift to men for eating dinner with her during a stressful time.

NerdyBish · 2020-07-09T22:16:10+00:00

God seriously image having a man come home, cooking and cleaning for him, and trying to have conversation with him as he does the bare minimum. Then he just retreats to his room to play video games. Like have a bratty teenage son.

43rdaccount · 2020-07-09T19:20:40+00:00

she shouldve posted on r/Amiwithanasshole instead of wondering AITA.....

Sage_Planter · 2020-07-09T16:39:36+00:00

I was surprised to see so many YTA on that thread when I read it this morning.

While I think OP was a bit of an AH by snapping and unplugging the console in that moment, there's clearly a bunch of underlying relationship issues, and I'm sure there's a lot of information we're missing. She's been consistently cOMmUnIcAtInG her needs, and he seems to completely brush them aside. He doesn't even do a good job of assuring her that things will be more normal at the end of the month, or oh, hey, he'll actually make it up to her and appreciate her patience during this time. She'd probably feel a lot better if he said "I'm going to take a long weekend at the start of August to focus on us after this time." If he's unable to be a partner during this time, he should be single.

Also, UGH PLEASE STOP to all the people in that thread saying "well, my husband and I..." Girl ain't married. There's a huge difference between making sacrifices for your partner when it's for the good of the marriage versus when you're a couple living together.

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2020-07-09T16:43:56+00:00

Replace games with alcohol. He's a game drunk, he's spent the majority of the past month game wasted every night. She took away his game drink one night, he had a fit and ended the relationship.

Almost every person with an addiction problem was normal-ish once, don't be the fool who rides shotgun with them to rock bottom.

burpleseaurchin · 2020-07-10T03:01:40+00:00

Can't believe that entire subreddit is trying to say a whole month of being almost completely ignored is okay. A month is a LONG TIME. If the guy was truly having to destress that hard for a month, his workplace probably violated some labor laws... and she'd probably see exactly how burned out he is. But in reality, he's just avoiding her and she kind-of knows it. It's evident in his method of making promises but it never getting better and him not feeling bad. Like really dude, there's literally nothing you can think of to do to relax that involves your partner? And you love her? X doubt.

ninetiesbaby16 · 2020-07-10T10:42:16+00:00

I think the issues were already there, he finds socializing with her “stressful”. If someone said that to me I’d feel like I was a nuisance or a burden and they only humor my company, and I’d take it as a sign he’s just not that into me. If he truly feels quality time with his gf is “stressful” and “work” then he should do her the favor of ending it. Unplugging the console wasn’t necessary, it’s demeaning to herself and puts her in the position of a mommy trying to discipline her obnoxious teen son. Just leave, he probably won’t notice 🤷🏻‍♀️

h_witko · 2020-07-09T20:04:06+00:00

I think it's a pretty aggressive move to unplug the console. But I wouldn't put up with this. I completely understand the need for alone time and time to decompress after work but she shouldn't be sacrificing herself to his desire to only play video games after work.

I'm a little concerned that he didn't think time with her watching a movie or whatever was decompressing enough and he definitely wasn't putting any effort into the relationship.

I'd have ditched him long before this happened, but unplugging something is just a weird power move.

Title	Thoughts on this post? Everyone is blaming OP, but all she wanted was to spend more time with him instead of playing video games for hours.
Author	diflorus
Upvotes	27
Comments	39
Date	July 9, 2020 4:13 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ho5vg0/thoughts_on_this_post_everyone_is_blaming_op_but/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/thoughts-on-this-post-everyone-is-blaming-op-but.704758 https://theredarchive.com/post/704758

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