I wish I'd found this sub sooner.

I'm a recovering pickmeisha. I was one of the worst sort, looking back.

I arrived at a lot of the same conclusions that this sub espouses, independently, but the message was the same. I wish I'd found this sub before embarking on a 5 year relationship. I wish I'd read this stuff in my 20s.

my previous relationships was a 5 year relationship with an asian man who seemed like HVM on paper, but he was not what i expected in person. let me preface this by saying that this man was not poor. he works for google. he would have nooooo problem spending 3k on a poker match, or dropping $400 on dinner, but he wouldn't buy a second set of sheets.. or clothes that actually fit him.

oh. i completely forgot about the bed situation. when i first met him. he didn't have a fucking bed.

no couches. no chairs. no nothing. I brushed this off as maybe he had just moved in, and hadn't had time to acquire those things. nope.he told me he was a minimalist and he didn't believe in 'having stuff' that he can't just throw into the back of his car and leave. at the time i thought this was quirky.

he slept on the floor.

I thought maybe this was a cultural thing because I know in some countries in asia they sleep on the floor. I informed him that i would not be sleeping on the floor.

he bought this shitty inflatable mattress, with no sheets of course. and I had a rough home situation at the time, so i was happy to be away from home.

anyway. a short time after that, the inflatable mattress broke. and he slept on a deflated air bed with a horrible hard lump in the middle (which was the built in air pump.)

i tried to sleep on this stupid fucking thing because i was such a pickme i thought it would be rude to complain, and i rolled over in the middle of the night and hurt my back really bad on this hard square in the middle of the bed.

finally i said i wouldn't be coming over again, and he could visit me if he wanted to see me. he eventually got the message and bought a bed.

surprise, surprise it was a mattress on the floor with no box spring, and it was hard and uncomfortable. had a mattress on the floor, and acted like i was being excessive when i told him he needed to buy a second set of sheets (and summer bedding.)

I actually broke up with him because of this. I was allergic to his musty dusty comforter which i don't even want to imagine how long it had been since he washed it. not to mention it was pink and frilly, but in a dingy frumpy sort of way, i can't imagine any other man refusing to part with his pink frilly extra thick arctic comforter in 110+ degree heat year round. I told him it is too hot for that sort of a blanket. (we lived in a desert) and he needed at least one if not more sets of sheets, and a summer blanket. he refused, and i stopped coming over, and

he had unopened junk mail from his previous residence that he had moved away from 4 years ago. fortunately the only reason he didn't have a hoarder type situation was because he prided himself on 'not having stuff'. i thought being a minimalist made him quirky and interesting, but really it only meant that he had no fucking dishes, no cups, no food in the fridge (he wasn't poor at all.) he made 5x the salary i made. it was incredibly annoying going to his house with his dusty blanket, and then trying to get a drink of water only to realise he only owns one cup, and its questionably clean. and then having to walk across a thin layer of unopened straight junk mail that he has no intention of ever opening but won't get rid of, or do anything about either

he refused to wear clothes that fit him. he was tall and lanky and decided that by wearing baggy clothes he could hide the fact that he was skinny. I tried to explain to him that this actually draws attention to the fact that hes skinny because he looks like a child wearing his dads clothes. he was one of those asians that looks young, even though he's over 30. looking back he was an enormous man-baby and i'm so glad i dodged that bullet.