Question about handbook...

virginiadancer · 2020-04-15T16:53:14+00:00

First of all, its polite. Most men will want to pay for the privilege of your company. This is standard in most cultures.

Second, most of us ladies can find a date literally every night of the week. Dick is abundant. Even high quality men do not match with more than a handful of women a month. Its not going to break their budget to pay for a lady once a month. They are paying for the opportunity to go out with me. I do not have to pay, because I'm a woman.

Third, you don't have to order the most expensive steak at the fanciest restaurant. If you're like me, your portion of the meal is probably 20 to 30 bucks. Any guy that can't afford this should not be dating, period.

I understand you want to live in an equal society. But the reality is, we don't. We are paid less and have to wade through alot more mud in the dating scene. This is our reality. Men know this. Thats why they pay for the privilege. Think of it as their 'misogyny tax.' Because believe me, sis, our portion of the tax burden is way more than the cost of a meal.

Illustrious_Drive · 2020-04-15T16:57:11+00:00

I used to feel kind of guilty when guys paid for me too.

But then my current boyfriend paid for me when he took me out on a really nice date and ...you know I felt like I deserved it. You deserve to be treated! It’s not a statement on whether or not you CAN pay. It’s a gift. Do you feel less independent when someone gives you a gift? No!

When HVM pay, they are treating you. They are showing their affection and respect to you. Being a provider can be an emotional thing for a HVM.

You don’t want to refuse nice treatment!

This is why a man paying isn’t about money. It’s a sign of investment and seriousness, care and respect. Nothing to do with money actually.

Also, when a man pays for you, you actually SAVE a lot of money! Thus becoming more financially independent lol

MelatoninNightmares · 2020-04-16T21:35:09+00:00

Men paying on dates is what makes it equal.

We have a tendency to forget this, because it's so normal for us, but men do not invest the kind of money and time into their appearance that women do. Go look at all your beauty products - hair care, skin care, makeup, hair removal products, etc - and think about what that cost you. Men don't pay for that. Think about what your last visit to the salon cost, and realize that it almost certainly cost twice what men pay. Think about your "date outfits" and realize that men just wear their normal clothes on dates. The concept of a "date night outfit" doesn't exist for men.

All of these expensive, time-consuming feminine beauty rituals make us attractive so men want to date us. That's your financial/time/energy contribution to the date. His contribution is to plan the date and pay for it.

Splitting the bill on a date is a microcosm of the modern day struggle of feminism - instead of truly being equal, women take on even more, and men get to do even less. Like working mothers and the "second shift" of domestic labor. So, until men start getting balayage and waxing their legs, or women are freed from the chains of feminine beauty rituals, men pay on dates. Period.

villagefunambulist · 2020-04-18T17:06:21+00:00

I used to feel some guilt or uneasiness about men paying for quite some time. I guess it has to do with how society engraines behavioral expectations on us women - that we must not take up a lot of space and not make others feel uncomfortable and not express our true feelings, etc. It can take years of personal growth and cognitive introspection to get out of this mindset. It did for me - I am in my 30s. The guy you mention sounds like immature, selfish and delusional garbage - you are not his personal Pollyanna. Good riddance - the garbage took itself out! With the idea of paying for dates: If you suggest to split the dinner bill a LVM, he will count it down to the penny. If you suggest to split the dinner bill with a HVM, he will look at you like you are insane. He is happy to treat you and understands his role as a man - and you feel comfortable in return. This is not about money per se - it's his way of showing you that he values and appreciates the honor of your company.

Title	Question about handbook...
Author	breenh9
Upvotes	6
Comments	4
Date	April 15, 2020 3:34 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/g1k873/question_about_handbook/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/question-about-handbook.678325 https://theredarchive.com/post/678325

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