Should I cut this guy out or backburner him?

rftw2013 · 2019-10-20T14:10:45+00:00

[deleted]

AverageToHot · 2019-10-21T03:08:49+00:00

Cut him off. The man who will end up wanting to be exclusive with you won't ghost you for 24 hours. His communications will be consistent.
Don't have sex without getting explicit commitment that you're boyfriend and girlfriend. Sleeping on the 4th date is too early and assuming exclusivity just because a moid says he only dates one woman at a time is you drinking the dumb bitch juice and getting played.

rainisthelife · 2019-10-20T19:37:37+00:00

At this point, I really hope you’ve revived your dating profile back up. I know it’s hard, and I empathize, but going out with other guys, even though you’re not initially as excited about them, will benefit you in two ways.

1.) Distract you from thinking about him too much and focusing solely on him.

2.) Make you more unavailable to him. He basically temporarily ghosted you for 24hrs and I’m sure that he would be expecting that after the 24hrs, you would still be readily available for him to just pick things back up like nothing ever happened.

If instead, after those 24hrs, he tries to contact you again and make plans with you and you seem busy, his perception of you will change. You’ve induced some competition via your unavailability, and now he has to work for your time. Men make time for what they really want, and if he was as excited about you as you are about him, he would have at least sent a “I’m sorry we might not get to talk much today, work is very busy” courtesy text.

rftw2013 · 2019-10-20T13:57:48+00:00

How do you know he isn't dating anyone else? Men are trash, they will lie to your face about who they see and who they fuck.

If he's not responded in 24 hours, he's putting YOU on ice, Sis. And why shouldn't he? You gave him exclusivity and took your profile down.

Wise up, Sis: if a man ignores you, you aren't important to him. Men do EXACTLY as they please, and right now it pleases him to ignore you. Put your profile back up, and see other men. And stop caring about this asshole. See other men, enjoy the abundance, and dump any man who treats you like this once you find someone better. Always date at least 3 men at a time, rotating them out as they show you who they are.

ohhotjelly · 2019-10-20T21:36:44+00:00

Are you able to see if he is active on other social media etc? If he is, I would back burner him. This guy I have been talking with for a few months would stop talking to me all together but still be active on his social media, and in the end it came out that "he liked me but didn't want to get together at this moment". I however stayed heavily & emotionally invested in him that entire time. Big mistake & I ended up feeling idiotic & heartbroken.

BUT. If he isn't active on his medias etc I would wait. I have legitimately had someone lose their phone entirely and thought he was just not talking to me, or have been out of cell service (hunting in the mountains) for a day or two. But any longer than a couple days, don't keep holding on to him. Unless you two are in an exclusive & established relationship, that kinda thing shouldn't be okay. (What I mean is that once you're officially with someone then there is the security of knowing they want to be with you type thing. Gah, maybe this ending doesn't make sense. Sorry)

TheOGJammies · 2019-10-20T12:53:16+00:00

Did he explicitly express the desire to be exclusive?
Are you absolutely sure he’s not married Or already In a LTR? If he’s rich consider the fact he might have two residences .

s_slayer · 2019-10-21T02:32:13+00:00

There may be no “right one” for this dud. Some guys are just terrible at texting. But this early on its more rare. Don’t necessarily think it has anything at all to do with you, but whatever the case, it’s only going to get worse and I know how frustrating it is to be with a guy who leaves you “on read” for a day or more. I’d cut him out.

Title	Should I cut this guy out or backburner him?
Author	floralay
Upvotes	12
Comments	27
Date	October 20, 2019 12:24 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/dkixwt/should_i_cut_this_guy_out_or_backburner_him/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/should-i-cut-this-guy-out-or-backburner-him.695591 https://theredarchive.com/post/695591

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