Theres a myth that guys "aren't ready" or "aren't mature enough" for relationships. This is a lie and an excuse that many women will make for men. Men know what they are doing. They know when they are being low effort and lazy. rather than taking accountability or stepping up to the plate, they will go leaps and bounds to gaslight or neg.

NOTE: you should vet and get commitment before even thinking about going to bed, but I know some recovering pick-mes should hear this! some men also pretend to be HV or seem good until they get to bed. if he is LV it will come out at some point so always vet and be ready to block!

lets be real here. its not hard to find the clit or give foreplay. most schools have sex ed.its not hard to look at a diagram or google. its also not difficult to understand the concept of rubbing and stimulation. I'm so tired of men saying that "you're dry" or "you're hurting MUH PENIS" because they thought penetration alone was enough.

"just tell Me what to do" is a common thing men will say when being asked to give foreplay. its how they continue to play dumb, just like they do in many other areas, in an attempt to get out of doing foreplay. these guys think that fingering for a max of two minutes or they think they are doing me a favor by rubbing the inside of my leg aggressively and quickly for 30 seconds is enough. they didn't even realize they weren't even in the right area at all!

you can tell if a man is an LVM by doing these things. if you were around enough to see what its like to stay or weekend with him, you're likely to notice that the "playing stupid" is common. if you ask him to help clean up after a meal or something, he will be asking where everything is, how to clean up, where to put things, and do the bare minimum or half ass the job. his end goal is to be pesting you as much as possible and doing a bad job so you'll give up on asking him and end up doing it yourself.

the same goes with foreplay. most lvms don't even try. if you tell the man you want some and he is LV he will do the things I talked about- half assing it or bombarding you with questions telling you he needs instructions with the ultimate goal of you giving up on him and just skipping to you giving him his pleasure through oral or penetration.

a HVM in bed would make sure sex is done in a romantic place. HVM do not live with their parents. an HV will not be having sex with you in his childhood bedroom! Covid is not an excuse. A HVM will make sure that he has protection available. he will not complain about it or try to avoid using it. He will be considerate and care about your pleasure, meaning he will ask consent and be initiating your pleasure. as he is trying he should be willing to take his time. you can give him feedback on what you like or dont like "slow it down / you can go a little faster or a little more to the south etc" but you shouldn't be spoon feeding him step by step instructions. he shouldn't be demanding or pressuring you to give him a blowjob. honestly he shouldn't even expect it from you, him giving you pleasure shouldn't just be some step or trade for him to get head. you always have the right to stop at any time and he needs to respect that, its okay to take back your consent and stop for any reason. if he cant respect that its rape and you need to report and dump him. when you do have sex he should keep your pleasure in mind. a HVM will do everything he can to ensure your pleasure and that you finish.

do not fake an orgasm or be fake moaning if you aren't actually enjoying it or finishing. another red flag of an LVM is a man that expects sex to be like porn (he expects it to be very performative, selfish, etc) and if you do give a blowjob he will be holding your head, trying to go deeper by being forceful, or telling you "look me in my eyes" these all stem from porn. if you dont like a position tell him. if he's lv he will try to force you into a position you dont like or will keep you in a position after knowing you dont like it.

if he says something like "you just laid there / you were like a robot" its a major red flag to RUN fast. if he says something like that about his past you need to delete and block as it shows he is rapey and selfish in bed. Remember you have the right to say NO. You can ask for STD tests if you want to. Remember that 1 OUT of 2 people will have had an STD by age 25! Condoms can help reduce the risk of transmission but it is not a guarantee and you should use them anyways and get checkups as a woman especially if you have concerns. HVM will not tell you that you need to go on the birth control pill / get an IUD/ etc so they can try to get out of wearing a condom! remember that if you are worried he poked holes or took off the condom / it slipped /broke you can go to pharmacies and even walmart and ask for plan b. a man intentionally finishing inside of you without your knowledge or consent is rape so report that. im reminding everyone because some may not be aware!