Hi all! So first of all I wanted to say, thank you to all the lovely people on this sub who show love, motivation and support for everyone else. Wether it’s through posts or comments, the amount of overwhelming love here is unbelievable and I fully believe I would be in a lot worse state of mind without this sub. So thank you, again.

Secondly, wether everyone or no one reads this posts I’ll be understanding. This is more of an outlet for me to unload everything that’s been happening to me, and the poor decisions that led me to this point. But also the positive influence FDS has injected into my life. I’m an engineer, a civil one to be exact. I work with primarily males all day, and about 90% of the time they’ve been great to work with. I’ve been a team leader for the past 12 months and have been handling it well. It’s very empowering to have males follow my instructions and understanding. Essentially, I don’t let the ‘guys’ give me shit during the day. And they respect that.

Although, I struggle personally with males as opposed to when I’m at work. Ever since high school I was always attracted to ‘bad boys’ or as we now like to call them LVM! Scrotes! I always let them do what they want with me. I was always a pick me, a desperate one. I threw myself into my professional career so much, that I took whatever I could on my personal dating side. He showed me attention? I loved that. And without FDS I would never have seen why this is such a problem. Why I kept dating morons and wankers. Why I’ve been cheated on multiple times; and walked in on it once with a close friend of mine... she’s no longer around either!

After I found this sub I felt so, guilty. Dirty. Like I was realising all my past mistakes of literally acting like the easiest woman around. I would let guys sleep with me, after a first ‘date’ if you could call it that. Btw male lurkers, MacDonalds isn’t a date, so fuck off. I would let them do depraving things to me like it was their porn dream come true. And yes, so low value he mentioned what exact porn he wanted to try recreate either before or after we had sex. I throw up now thinking about it! All because I was too afraid to be alone, and didn’t put the effort in to find a HVM. One who respected me, and didn’t see me as a sexual object to be played with.

I saw a post on here the other day about empowerment, and not letting scrotes use us as sex objects. I want to say thank you to the beautiful soul who wrote that post, as it clicked with something in me. I relapsed this weekend and spent the night with a LVM I’m trying to shake. But after reading some basic and powerful words from a internet stranger, I’ve officially deleted his number! Be gone boy! The sex was terrible too! I’m so happy it’s over!

I feel fulfilled. Like I’m actually making steps to becoming a stronger and more intelligent when it comes to dating. I’ve always suffered with it! I guess what I’m saying is, baby steps are still steps in the right direction! It’s ok if you relapse and text him back. You’re working on yourself! Forgive yourself for making errors! You’re doing it to become a better you! YOU DONT NEED HIM!

Love you all x Queens forever.