Hey! I know this is probably out of topic, but I wanted to tell you all how this community helped me!

Long story short, I'm only 23 and I'm not really into having sex without being comfortable and at the very least exclusive. I only had sex with one person (my long term bf at the time) about 3 years ago. Since then, guys have asked me out and flirted with me. I even dated a couple, but, as most guys my age, they always expected sex asap, so I always ended it.

The thing is, I started to get lonely, so I talked to some friends for advice and they all told me I was insane for not dating casually first, have sex and then see if that leads to something, that I should lower my standars and see guys personalities and that I really should download tinder (fyi in my country its used 98% for just sex). This threw me off a little bit, so I searched for answers from male subs ( I know, huge mistake) and they all said the same my friends did, "if we don't have sex after the 3rd to 5th date, its over" and "yes, I love when girls ask me out". So, being the idiot I am, I decided to give it a try. I liked a guy (average, but with a "good personality") and I asked him out, texted him, made plans, etc. Not only did he suddenly started to act like he was the price and I should do everything in my power to gain his approval (when before that he always texted first, approached me, complimented me and generally pinned after me ), but I have never in my life felt so ugly and insecure. Thankfully, that went nowhere, but all my friends insisted I should at least try to have casual sex to see if I liked it. This really isn't in my nature, but really, I felt like this was the only way to have a relationship and it apparently worked for everyone I know and trust.

So, I was really starting to consider it and even trying to hype myself to do it thinking "its the normal thing to do, not just being used. If not now, when?". But while lurking r/vindicta to better myself, I stumbled upon this place. Seriously, guys, thank you. Its like I was in a dazed state fuelled by feeling inadequate in the modern dating world. I finally see that I should keep my boundaries and how truly toxic that way of thinking was for me.

Sorry for the long rant, but I'm grateful that I found this place when I did and hope I can be part of the community ❤

Edit: Spelling (not a native speaker).