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bearded_dragonlady Archive

View 0 posts and 649 comments by bearded_dragonlady on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

When you created the younger profile, was it mainly the 35+ men who were going above and beyond to get your attention? How did the same age counterparts act?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 06:49 PM
9

A lot of the most active users these days are highly against investing any substantial effort into OLD, so it would be difficult for me to be honest and thorough with the tips unfortunately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 02:22 PM
42

I'm your age and I've been getting asked out on more dinner dates than ever (been using hinge mostly). Feel free to PM if you would like profile review.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 03:26 AM
198

Women naturally make better surgeons due to better fine motor skills and more risk-averse mentalities
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 09:53 PM
4

> Before, I was too preoccupied with my own life to notice the periodic absences If a guy is disappearing like this within the first few months of dating, I can only imagine how bad he is as a LT boyfriend
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 02:18 PM
17

I let the men worry about timelines and how to lock me down. My only goal is to show up with queen energy and enjoy myself on dates with men who meet my vetting standards. When I'm exuding hedonistic, take-it-or-leave-it energy, and the men are investing time/resources/effort into me without sex, they naturally ask for commitment within 1.5-2 months or they filter themselves out of the running. The combo of being a ruthless vetter and strategic hedonist makes dating fun and carefree because it s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 05:02 PM
67

I have a live-in-the-moment attitude while interacting with dates, while heavily vetting on the inside. I'm happy to live in the moment as long as the guy is paying for everything, getting no sex outside commitment, showing only HV qualities, and actively bringing value to my life. The male version means casual sex without effort and investment from the man, and unfortunately, pickme's fall for it every time to their detriment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 05:06 AM
4

That's fine, but in this case it was the 1st message from the guy. OP had mentioned her research in a prompt/profile, and the guy decided to tell her to talk about it as an opener. If the two of them had messaged for a while and later brought up going on a date, then it would've made more sense for him to say he would love to hear about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 02:07 PM
33

It was a combination of gut instinct and experience that later got confirmed by reading PUA sources. Something felt off about a lot of behaviors but I couldn't put my finger on it. Then it all made sense when I read their techniques haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 02:48 AM
72

Most of the time, it's context-dependent, but here are some more glaring examples off the top of my head: When suggesting a date idea, he says "I'm going to visit the new brewery that just opened downtown this weekend. You are welcome to join. :)" This is phrased to imply that he is happy with or without you, and that you are tagging along to something he's already going to do anyway. Meant to devalue you subconsciously. When asking about a hobby listed on your bio: "So what are your go-to spots…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 01:39 AM
102

I would have known to block within the first 3 messages. Same. I've been wanting to make a post about vetting less obvious red flags, but some of the signs are so subtle and context-dependent that it can be hard to articulate. I recall one posted screenshot where the guy messaged the OP saying: Your Galapagos research sounds so interesting. I would love to hear more about it. I could tell immediately that he was a PUA because they love to phrase things as statements instead of questions to appea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 11:06 PM
18

Lol if you spend too much time in AI/asianmasc as an AW, you forget that Asian men need to be vetted just as much as anyone else. A lot of AM feel much more brazen when speaking to an AW than with XW when on dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 02:29 PM
31

2 months is too early. 3-4 months is appropriate. 5 months is no go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 09:10 PM
75

Interact with him the way you greet a random coworker at the office in the mornings. The one you'll say hi to if they walk past you but won't go out of your way to speak to. If you go with a friend or see friends there, talk and laugh with them and have a good time. Don't go quiet and show awkwardness. Instead, be animated and excited about the local art and/or w/e convo you're having with friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 04:57 PM
28

I love how she looks kind of like me 😍. I wish I could print this as a label and put it on my hairspray
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 09:24 PM
105

Also never date a 2/10
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 08:10 PM
36

That's what I say to normal guys who let the bill sit too long, but some pick-up artists will go scorched earth and absolutely refuse to have shame. They would reply "Yes I do since it's 2021." or "Yes since I assume we both believe in equality". Since OP's date physically pushed the bill toward her, I'm guessing he's the type with zero shame. In this type of scenario, I rather just embarrass them and get out of there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 03:18 AM
57

Next time a guy jokingly or seriously implies I should pay, I'm going to loudly ask them if they're poor and can't afford the restaurant we're in. I'll pretend to genuinely be concerned and say that I have some soup cans in my trunk I can give them, and there's no shame in accepting charity. I'll just put down enough cash for my meal and leave lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 02:24 AM
25

Yesss if you could do more Asian ones that would be soo good! All these are so pretty 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 08:58 PM
20

Exactly, people value relationships the most when you want to be with them, not when you need to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 04:30 PM
144

This is 100% true. The reason I'm able to stay composed and calculating in my relationships is precisely because I ask myself once a week whether I could walk away from this relationship and be completely fine with my single life. Whenever I feel myself wavering and thinking that my happiness is becoming dependent on the relationship, I immediately start investing extra in friendships and hobbies. I'm constantly accessing my life outside the relationship so that I can cut men off at a moment's n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 04:11 AM
103

"this ain't a man" - you got that right
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 01:17 AM
20

I've never understood this - and even if the guy was expecting sex, who cares? A guy could expect the moon from me for all I care. He's not getting anything from me that I don't truly want to give him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 11:32 PM
11

This is def satire, esp when he says it specifically has to be the same exact anime he likes 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 11:21 PM
20

Next time, if a guy doesn't have time to see you regularly, keep dating other men. Do not agree to exclusivity unless they earn it with consistent investment of time, money, and energy. If you both are busy with vacation, OT, etc, then slow down emotionally and wait until you get a clearer picture of the situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 10:57 PM
65

If he was truly into you he wouldn't have let multiple weeks pass without seeing you. You need to view this as a valuable learning experience to vet guys better in the future. The second they show any sign they aren't 100% in (like allowing weeks to pass in-between dates), then let him go immediately. Don't let it get to this point where you're devastated over a guy you've seen 7 times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 08:05 PM
5

It's interesting how many people seriously think they will be super generous once they make real money, but once they actually do earn more, they suddenly don't want to be spend much on their gf. It's easy to envision generosity with money you don't have yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 07:36 PM
22

I had been describing my dating preferences as a combination of traditional and modern. I would consider my dating principles to be "post-modern". I believe both the traditional and "modern" dating styles do not serve women, while fds is promoting strategies and ideas that actually benefit women. They are angry because they don’t think I should pick and choose Patriarchy has always been about men picking and choosing what parts of "equality" they want. I avoid discussions/debates with men about …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 10:05 PM
48

Since he's not making much money anyway, they should just move to wherever is convenient for your friend. Unless there's important reason he absolutely has to be in their current location?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 08:27 PM
1

What that website based on this book? I remember someone said that there was a forum back in the day based on argov's book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 01:49 PM
49

"He's a bit shy and not super confident" Lol he seems pretty confident using her for girlfriend benefits while keeping his options open. The worst thing she can do is ask him for commitment and have him agree. It will be a crappy relationship that brings down her self-esteem even further. Hope she finds FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 02:44 AM
110

I love this depiction of an unbothered queen! 👸"Thank you, next" energy is how all male dating prospects should be treated. 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 01:11 AM
7

"Ruthless Strategist" is a title for mods. The other flairs are based on your comments and posts. The mods will look at them and decide when to promote you to higher flair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 12:20 AM
119

It's been a while since I read it, but I remember I got some good aspects out of it, and some parts I disregarded. It actually gave me the extra push to break up with an ex. It's one of those books I would recommend to certain pickme friends of mine. It teaches them that prioritizing your own life above men is not only good for your mental health & personal development, but makes you more attractive in general. It sometimes opens the door to them listening to my advice about putting your own lif…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 06:14 PM
18

This is great artwork for the holidays! 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 04:30 AM
42

Did he call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", or other terms related to your physical beauty when messaging through the OLD platform?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 08:28 PM
14

Did he pay on dates and outings?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 03:11 AM
17

I love this! 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 05:28 AM
3

Are you mostly dating men who had kids early or childless?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 03:22 AM
61

Exactly, it's a red flag if the guy doesn't immediately take the check from the waitress/waiter and put it on his side of the table, away from you. It's a complete turn off when they leave the bill sitting in the middle of the table for 10 min before putting their card down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 02:46 AM
5

Agreed, I call it the "no more than 4" rule. Something just doesn't feel right if the guy is more than 4 years older/younger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 08:56 PM
95

LOL I actually did get them temporarily plugged by an ophthalmologist to help retain moisture in my eyes a few years ago
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 03:01 PM
34

When I imply that they remind me of my gay bff, I do so in an earnest/innocent way, not in a joking way. However, if they were to joke back that they would totally be down to meet Dave's single gay friends, I would just ask them if they were "top" or "bottom", which would get 99% of them to try to change the subject lmao. The thing is, once a man's made a sexual innuendo in the early courtship period, he is out of the running completely. There's no point cOmmUnicAting or spelling out standards a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 01:58 AM
19

I think you misread the sentence. I was saying that you can't just ignore the innuendo, you have to punish it immediately by emasculating them like I mentioned in the first paragraph. Your method is fine, but I've found that my method of turning the joke against them w/o skipping a beat works best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 01:32 AM
85

I used to ignore these innuendo-type jokes in conversations, but unless you're prepared to walk away in that moment, it's better to innocently make them feel emasculated for the innuendo. These days, if a guy makes an indirect sexual joke on a date, I'll say something like "hahaha my best friend Dave and his boyfriend made that same joke! You remind me of them". If they don't stop, I'll offer to introduce them to one of Dave's single gay friends since they're looking to meet funny guys just like…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 12:04 AM
119

This guy isn't on my contact list. He was a friend of friend of a friend at a group dinner I went to. A lot of LV dudes will randomly try to bring down the confidence of any attractive woman due to their bitterness and history of rejection, not just women they are pursuing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 07:06 PM
394

Lol this guy negged me in a group social situation last week. I literally gave him zero reaction and immediately started talking and laughing with everyone else in the group except him. You could tell he was surprised and annoyed that he couldn't bring my mood down for even 1 second. The zero acknowledgment and talking/laughing with everyone else is better than any clapback.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 06:22 PM
28

Tell them in person you had a good time (if you did). If he does not text you a follow-up within 2 hours after a date, cut him off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 06:05 PM
20

EXACTLY. This is why you can't trust male-dominated online communities no matter how 'woke' they seem about certain racial topics. Those Asian subs made it seem like AW who mainly date AM all have way easier time dating, but I've had some of my worst experiences with AM. Some of them negged me and talked about how hot certain European women were on the first date. This has never happened with any other race of men. Also, i've noticed that my non-asian friends get more sexualized messages and con…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 05:03 PM
45

Have you always felt that way? I'm late twenties, and I feel like guys physically peak around 24-25. After that, their skin & hair quality decline.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 03:01 AM
19

That's unfortunate. I get about 70% dinner date invites with that in my profile. Do you vet for first messages that ask you a specific question based on your bio? I noticed that if a guy asks about one of my hobbies in first message, it's much more likely he'll ask me out to dinner/lunch (assuming rest of conversation is high effort). I don't respond if the opener does not specifically reference my bio.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 02:49 PM
86

Try mentioning on your profile somewhere that you enjoy "trying new cuisines", "trendy fusion spots", "fine dining", or something else that's meal-related.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 06:19 AM
7

Don't ask men if they are seeing other people. Especially this early on. You should watch their actions and interest levels carefully, which should tell you all you need to know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 04:51 PM
3

The invasive species volunteering sounds like a great idea actually. How did you guys hear about the environmental/running groups?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 10:14 PM
13

I know an older lady who loves fishing and outdoorsy stuff like that Do you know how she meets up with others who like fishing/outdoorsy activities? Whenever I use meetup to find like-minded people, it's mostly pick-up artist types who couldn't hack it on OLD. If I try to google hobby-related things in my city, only meetup events pop up in the search. I feel like the only good groups are those that are not formed by people who searched the internet for that group, but instead through university …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 09:32 PM
8

What are some of the boundaries on your list?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 02:40 PM
32

If a guy truly has a high level of interest, he will not be silent for a few days in between dates. He will see you as an amazing girl who probably has tons of guys interested, and will not want you to get snatched up by somebody else. Most guys who disappear for days in between dates are actively talking to other women. They may settle for you if his other options don't work out, what you aren't the prize to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 02:36 PM
23

The userbase changed ever since reddit banned GC and some of those other subs. We shouldn't have compromised and let them change this sub into a male depravity sub. Because now the new users we're attracting are more likely the type to be against men/dating in general. It's better to lose members that are against the core of FDS instead of continuing to expand in the wrong direction imo. I remember I tried to agree with you on that thread, and people started downvoting immediately. Also, I feel …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 01:58 PM
15

Guys I know who are considering hair transplants tend to be weirdos. If you had gotten to know him better, red flags would probably have cropped up. In the beginning stages, he was probably hiding them better. At any rate, I actually felt a lot less insecure about age when I date guys who are a couple years younger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 03:23 PM
83

Don't give/reflect any energy at all if the man has not earned it. When a guy is lukewarm, the only appropriate response is complete silence. If he texts something higher effort later, only then should you even consider responding. Men need to learn that HV behavior = your attention. LV behavior = no contact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 12:47 PM
8

Is he objectively less attractive than you or is he just not your physical type?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 07:33 PM
41

They're trying to let you know that they've gotten with women as attractive as you in the past. I've noticed that less attractive men are more likely to go out of their way to bring up their exes in general.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 05:10 PM
1

Where do you generally meet HVM in your experience?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 03:54 PM
8

I think your age range is perfect, esp since it's balanced on both sides.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 04:47 PM
33

This method is about using an insecurity that you aren't actually insecure about. For example, I like being tan. I might pretend I feel slightly insecure I'm not pale. That way, when they try to neg me, it makes me feel complimented lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 11:56 AM
17

If you're comfortable, can you share some examples of miscommunications that you and him were able to resolve through mature discussion?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 12:26 PM
10

Yeah it seems like a lot of the strategy discussed now is mostly about avoiding men, which I fully respect, but I rather this stay a dating strategy sub. Sometimes women are in the mood to go their own way, and sometimes they are in the mood to date. It feels like mixing the two is counterproductive for either mindset. I remember when reading the posts here would make me feel like I could take on the world. It motivated me to build a better life for myself in every way. I hope we can have some o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 11:20 PM
2

Thank you for this post. During the last few months, it feels like this sub has started to be co-opted into something else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 10:55 AM
3

Lol I do avoid caffeine, lactose, and alcohol. So scrotes have no choice but to take me out to dinner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 04:49 AM
63

This is exactly what I do around both genders. It's what the manosphere refers to as "maintaining frame". Works for negotiating a raise as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 11:09 PM
16

It's best to be strategic about how you open up about your feelings. This is something that men need to earn over time. Not to mention, you usually end up doing emotional labor for men when you have those discussions. When a man hasn't asked for commitment, emotional labor should be kept at a minimum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 07:02 PM
50

PUA also like to arrive a few minutes late to show that you aren't super important to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 04:51 PM
28

I just give them zero energy if they come at me with anything less than 100% effort. For example, a text like "that's so funny I like xyz too!" should be ignored completely because it doesn't give you a specific reason to respond. The people who value you at all will follow up with a better text once they see your lack of response. This is how you set your high maintenance energy from the beginning. Anything not high effort gets nothing from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 07:13 PM
41

This comment had me rolling lmfaooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 05:00 AM
38

Hahaha we at FDS don't even recognize the "left on read" checks that loser men are so familiar with 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 01:32 PM
144

These type of men tend to reveal their racial red flags very early, so I find them easy to get avoid. Women who have emigrated from Asia (or live in Asia) may be less able to spot the red flags, since knowledge about racial dating dynamics is lower in the relatively homogeneous east asian countries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 03:48 PM
18

I have the best time dating someone equal in attractiveness to me (which is above average but not model tier). Every time you give guys less attractive than you a chance, you are artificially skewing the market in favor of mediocre looking men, which makes them ever-more entitled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 12:25 AM
254

Looks like he's still obsessed with her after all this time 😂. And you know she's looking hot AF in her thirties which probably pisses him off even more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 10:18 PM
140

Don't respond to any text that isn't 100% high effort. If he says "haha that's funny" or anything low effort, do not respond. Whenever a guy is excited to meet me, he puts effort into every text. Anything else I will treat like the end of the convo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 09:42 PM
21

On average, I believe men who have good relationships with their older sisters tend to have the best view of women all things equal. My younger brother is HVM, and my bff's younger brother is light years better than her older brother. Your older sibling is often your first and closest role model - they are often wiser/stronger/more skilled than you because they were born earlier (obvi), and having this role model be a woman helps balance out some of society's anti-female conditioning. I'm very m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:37 PM
1

Sure, you can DM or PM me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 09:39 PM
9

You likely are sleeping with guys below your league. Most of my friend's fwbs have been below their league tbh. Back when I was entertaining FWB's, I purposely chose men who were conventionally more attractive and successful than me. It was a mixed bag how long those arrangements lasted, since they had multiple options themselves. If you are running into the problem of guys dropping effort after sex, then yes I would recommend waiting longer. I don't mind guys getting filtered out because they w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:43 AM
70

I also purposely wait until they have spent significant time, money, and effort into wining and dining me (aka putting up collateral) so that if it doesn't work out after sex, he can't feel like he got one over me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:04 PM
48

Agreed, also don't verbally demand a guy treat you with respect. Just withdraw your attention and energy from people who don't treat you correctly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 02:18 PM
29

Did he bring up marriage mainly to tell you he will be wanting a pre-nup?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 02:50 PM
7

Trp represents incel nerd types that were obsessed with "debating" about politics/philosophy in high school because their pseudo-intelligence was the only thing they could use to make themselves feel better over being rejected by the popular crowd
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 09:12 PM
3

It's generally context dependent, so it's good to wait until the guy reveals a vulnerability and use that as a starting point for your pseudo insecurity. You can even start with a semi vulnerability that doesn't actually bother you much, but exaggerate it to make it seem more significant. For example, I'm currently a grad student, but my earning power will go up dramatically in a couple of months. I can act like I'm insecure about not being able to afford what my peers can afford, and feeling be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 09:31 PM
89

There was a great post about blood in the water test. You basically start off revealing faux vulnerabilities or stuff you don't actually care about. That way, you can observe what he does with that info. It also allows for the feeling of emotional closeness because it seems like you revealed something you're vulnerable about. This strategy has saved my ass countless times in both romantic relationships and friendships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 05:44 AM
3

It's best to stop responding early on, like within the first 1-2 messages. Lvm feel validated when you keep responding to their low effort suggestions and texts. For example, I never respond to any texts that aren't 100% effort. None of this person's messages would qualify as good enough to respond to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 03:20 PM
3

Exactly. There's no need to reinforce their already preconceived notion that they're the gatekeepers of relationships. From their perspective, when a woman says she wants a relationship, the "with you" is silent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 01:01 AM
101

I can tell from his profile pic that he doesn't get women of any age, color, etc. Ugly guys love to act like they have options to choose from.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 11:53 PM
1

assume a LTR, and list out a couple of very broad qualities are looking for in a man under the assumption that you want a long-term relationship. This communicates that a long-term relationship is a given This is great - acting like you assume high investment behavior from men without having to specify you want a relationship is a great way to act like you're accustomed to being the prize. What types of broad qualities would you say are good to list out?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 10:35 PM
7

I'm also childfree & prefer a life partner. I always let potential partners bring up commitment. Guys who want to invest in you and commit to you will show it. Your commitment is the prize, not his. I date in multiples and cut them off if they haven't tried to lock me down in 2 months. I prefer to give the impression that I'm already 100% fulfilled as a single person but will give them a chance to impress me. Then, and only then, will I consider giving my commitment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 01:30 PM
26

"Once I got sober" is a red flag, sounds like this guy's got issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 05:25 AM
13

I actually had an asian guy do a milder version of this, but I was mostly prepared because I'm always on guard for pua tactics. He was not able to get far because I always lie and say I've had a good experience with the apps and haven't been on them for long periods of time. If he had said he almost forgot about the date, I would have said I actually almost forgot too but l remembered when he texted me this morning, and then thanked him for the reminder. They never suspect I'm countering their t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 05:19 AM
16

They always want the upper hand in their interactions with women. They constantly try to position themselves as the prize by tricking pickme's into chasing them. They are obsessed with investing less into the woman and trying to make her invest more. They generally do not like paying for dates or giving you a sincere compliment. They will try to give off the impression that they have many options with women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 04:52 AM
143

When a guy asks for a second date, it's best not to agree until he tells you what the plan is. If he asks over text, I say "what do you have in mind?". In person, I vaguely say that next weekend might work, but don't give him a definite yes until he says what the plan is. It's easier that way cause I block if he mentions anything about watching a movie (unless in a theater) or suggests going to his house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 08:17 PM
14

with no SMV LOL we have more SMV in our pinkies than redpill guys have in their entire poorly-aging bodies. They hate that they are spending their "prime" years striking out with women and love projecting that onto other people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 03:04 PM
20

It's ridiculous that everyone on dating subs uses "this is why you're single" as a retort with people they disagree with. They are the last people who should use singlehood against someone unprompted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 12:07 AM
58

The worse they try to defame us, the less women will trust what they say, since it takes just 5 min of reading to see that FDS is the opposite of all of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 05:57 PM
6

LOL I was just telling a friend how I've never met a more ambitious, successful online community than the women here. Just reading the comments daily inspires me to work extra hard at my career, degree, fitness, passions, etc. I see so many women here who run successful businesses, own multiple properties, getting A's in every class, and succeeding despite all odds. I've seen multiple posts of women who started off in a bad place due to LVM and turned their lives around drastically. The fact tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 05:55 PM
1

I usually advise women to say "I prefer meeting up in -insert your city-". I don't like even mentioning their house/apartment in the text because that plays into their "frame". Mentioning an idea gives it more power, even if you are saying it to turn it down. Have your dates in public areas until you have vetted him thoroughly and know you want to sleep with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:10 AM
3

When they text anything that includes the winky face smile, the one that looks like this: ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 10:36 PM
8

Idk if it's due to quarantine attracting lower quality men, but I'm noticing that the majority of men over 25 on tinder have a receding hairline. I don't think this is necessarily true irl tho?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 06:04 AM
41

Lol you are living rent free in her head. Think about how empty her relationship is if her main source of fulfillment is taunting you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 03:00 AM
3

Idk if you've seen the "blood in the water" post, but I prefer revealing a fake vulnerability (or a mild one you don't actually care about) to test what his reaction to that will be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 04:09 AM
22

Me too, I got a bad gut feeling when a guy said the word "bridezilla's" when I mentioned wedding drama I had read on reddit. Turns out, he did have patronizing beliefs about women. Most people would have called me too sensitive, but sometimes the same joke can be offensive or inoffensive based on context, tone of conversation, etc. I learned to not think too much into it and just trust my intuition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 03:43 AM
8

I'm sorry that this man disappointed you like this. I'm glad you are staying strong and not allowing him to manipulate you into accepting breadcrumbs. The only move here is to block if you want to walk away with dignity, since he may be assuming you'll be waiting in the wings for his text. I try to think of situations like these as learning experiences on how to vet better/longer in the future. As long as you are improving, that's what matters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 02:58 AM
3

I agree, the polite veneer cuts so much harder than telling a guy off. I never let on that their actions upset me in any way. They are just a fly I brush off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 02:46 AM
9

Mainstream advice for women is very contradictory and leaves women second-guessing themselves constantly. When using FDS principles, I feel calm and in control of my actions. There is no option except to act like a queen. However men react to my self-respecting behavior is not under my control, which is freeing and empowering in a way pickme's don't understand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 07:23 PM
255

Whenever I say something like "I had a great time getting to know you. Hope you enjoy your week!" , they get triggered as fuck and start begging to make plans. Something about my casually unbothered tone and the way I'm politely talking to them like a random acquaintance strikes a chord so deep in their LV souls that they don't even show any defensiveness. I never respond to w/e they say afterwards, I just smirk and block. It's not a sentence you can come back from, so for anyone reading, only u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 01:59 AM
45

He probably tried to cheat earlier but failed to find someone else. That's why he lovebombs and stays with naive girls for months at a time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 11:28 PM
160

I bet he got bored and started cheating around the 4-5 month mark and decided he didn't need to put effort into the relationship anymore, but wasn't going to say no to the girl jumping for his approval. Now he's acting like he's been masterminding the whole thing from the beginning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 08:40 PM
3

Even if that were true, it's still much more than these LVM can ever get. In fact, their paradise is having a lucrative career and being able to hook up with a hottie anytime they want. For FDS women, that's like our baseline lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 08:17 PM
6

The better looking ones do look, I can tell because my super likes went up significantly after using better photos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 08:10 PM
13

Men who make comments on YouTube are incel types who rarely get any attention. They assume women must be playing games when in actuality most women just don't care about them enough to respond to their texts and desperate dm's.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 04:06 PM
4

Yess I will often change my stories when I comment on reddit/fds by substituting the real insecurity for a fake-insecurity. That way, scrotes digging thru my history for a way to bring me down get mislead into using the wrong neg.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 04:48 AM
13

Have most of the women heard of FDS prior to you messaging them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 04:08 AM
7

I found this sub September of 2019 and it changed me in all the best ways. It's so perfect that almost exactly a year later we've grown to 100k ❤❤!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 10:11 PM
23

Omg I've been doing the exact same thing for the past 5 years! I called it showing "faux-insecurities" in a past comment but your post/phrasing explains it so much more coherently. I do it with both men and women to see what they do with my so-called vulnerability. A huge advantage to baiting people with "blood" is that it throws people off the scent of your real insecurities. They don't suspect that you may be faking confidence in some areas because you seem like someone who is open about insec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 04:57 AM
29

Friends or not, if he wanted to text you he would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 12:49 AM
43

Guys wear awful outfits in the summer, it's all t shirts and shorts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 10:54 PM
9

Full head of hair that I can run my fingers through. Wavy hair is a bonus, but not curly. Masculine, angular type of body with manly hands/wrists. No "wrist-cels" lmao. Good aging genetics when it comes to collagen quality. Has at least a bit of melanin so their skin texture doesn't look doughy. Low amounts of body hair. Wears fashionable clothes, including during the summertime. For white guys, I like lighter hair/eyes with a tan. No specific hair color preference for MOC.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 07:17 PM
1

You're so beautiful and I like your comments on your profile you seem like a good person, would love the chance to take you out for dinner at some point.' This sounds like something guys copy-paste into their message to every girl they match with
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 03:26 PM
21

Guys will say they prefer "natural-looking" women, but what they mean is natural-looking makeup and styling, which tends to involve higher-end brands.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:09 AM
5

Can I ask why you prefer white guys who grew up around 90% whites vs a white guy who grew up in a place with lots of asians and has a decent amount of asian friends? It's interesting because I've noticed that black women are more likely to want a white guy with black friends, while asian women prefer white men with an almost all-white social circle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 07:22 PM
6

The only exceptions I allow is if they grew up/live in a high asian population area and if they have no specific interest in east asian culture. Even then, they shouldn't have more than 1 asian ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 03:16 PM
3

"Hey I enjoyed last weekend but I'm most comfortable meeting up in -insert your city- at this point." Be prepared to cut your losses if this guy does not 100% show respect for your boundaries. He knows you wanted to take it slow, so if he doesn't take the hint it's because he doesn't want to. There isn't much you can do once you've already slept with someone, except to learn from the experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 09:23 PM
17

I see, I had assumed based on the post that you agreed to a time, and then asked him what the plan was after already agreeing. If you ask "what do you have in mind" right away and he doesn't come up with a suitable answer, just stop responding immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 04:50 PM
64

When a guy suggests meeting up with you IRL, you should first respond with "what do you have in mind?". Don't say yes to a time until he has proven why you should give that time slot to him. As far as he's concerned, you have multiple social engagements/suitors that he has to compete with. Put the onus on him to show why he should have the privilege of meeting up with you instead of you agreeing first and then trying to prove why you deserve a better date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 04:26 PM
58

Typical male solipsism. They assume any woman showing mild interest (if that) must be scheming to make them like her more by 'playing hard to get', when in reality most women aren't even giving them a second thought. This advice is particularly popular on reddit because most reddit males are socially awkward losers who receive negligible female attention and overthink every interaction. I hate how this is upvoted to the top of any askreddit thread even tangentially related to dating. Casual read…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 06:30 PM
3

I've had guys come to dates straight from the gym; they take a quick shower there and throw on a shirt. It doesn't interfere with their schedule as much as dates for women. Long hair tends to be a lot more high maintenance and you have to put way more mental energy into making it look good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:43 PM
52

Lmao nothing worse than going over a guy's house for water & chill
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 02:20 AM
64

> The other night, I went for one date with a guy, and the following morning I got this as a reply. What kind of response do you send this? None. I agree, plus I rarely respond to guys who wait longer than 2 hours to send me a follow-up text after a date. In fact, I've never had a good experience with a guy who waited until the next day to send one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 10:31 PM
9

I noticed a sudden influx of visitors yesterday evening. I wonder if this sub or post was referenced and caused a bunch of salty LVM to downvote
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 03:23 PM
12

> drove the conversation to super deep topics every date Huge red flag. These are the type of guys who do not like to lay down real groundwork for a long-term relationship. They rather exploit interactions to satisfy their own emotion-vulture tendencies before getting bored and moving on to the next innocent person. When getting to know a man, he should be proving himself to you consistently before you reveal the deeper parts of yourself bit by bit. Each piece of yourself that you reveal is a pr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 02:13 AM
7

This guy does not seem HV. However, I just wanted to point out that it's not passive aggressive to refuse to cOmmUnicAte to him and explain exactly why you're upset. He didn't prioritize time with you because he didn't want to. At most, I would have texted "10's not a good time for me, maybe later this week. Good night!". You taking a step back on Sunday is a great move (men don't respond to words, they respond to no contact). However, no contact only works if you don't act like you're doing it …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 03:57 AM
2

That small measure of improvement adds up over time. HV means taking steps in the right direction and not giving up. This is why I started dating after doing well after ONE semester of master's classes, because I realized I'm actually not bad at the material and I also liked the easy part time job I got to make extra cash. I didn't even have an internship when I first started accepting dates, but knowing I was on the right path is what mattered. connecting on passions rather than superficialitie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 12:26 PM
23

Agree with Zara. When you quickly bring up cheapness, shallowness, and inconsistency right-off-the bat after they ask that question, it gives the impression that you've had to deal with that behavior a lot, which is how those traits came to be your pet peeves. When dating, I always act like the prize to be treated like the prize. I don't act like I'm familiar with the notion of men being cheap with me because I have not personally experienced it. Act like you are accustomed to good treatment to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 02:22 PM
3

You usually start feeling way more confident once you are even part way through to your goal. Once I had a semester under my belt and lost 10 lbs, I felt like my life was on an upward trajectory. Working towards a goal is high value and will give you something positive to talk about on dates (and in general). Even if you aren't successful yet. Hobbies can include exploring hiking trails for example; I used to be a complete homebody but I feel more confident now that I do an outdoors activity. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 07:32 PM
6

I didn't date when I was dissatisfied with my life. Instead, I worked my ass off to get a marketable degree, good job, lose 20lbs, redo my wardrobe, and get into new hobbies. Being a HV woman extends to every single part of your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 04:10 PM
79

This is the sophomoric mindset some of my friends had in their teens, where they believed fast-forwarding into pseudo-deep 'intimate' conversations with their peers was so much more superior to building a real foundation of trust and friendship with someone. Most people I know grow out of that phase, but I'm always unsettled when men who are 22+ still hold these lazy, exploitative, immature ideas about human interaction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 01:07 AM
17

I've used tinder before (I'm asian-american) and no one asked me to pay on the first date. I had one guy who didn't pull out his wallet on the 3rd date, but that's it. One thing you have to realize is that dating patterns in NA are less homogeneous compared to east Asia. Many men will act one way, but many others will act another way. You just have to be strategic, filter carefully, and put your best foot forward in terms of your profile. My international friends sometimes would put up with wors…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 12:05 AM
35

Let's not give this troll anymore attention
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 10:36 PM
13

A lot of people come from broken homes and had narcissistic parents A lot of people are not high quality partners. That is not your problem. Dysfunction usually breeds dysfunction, particularly for men, who lack the emotional bandwidth to really examine their psychological complexes the way we do. Women need to be ruthlessly judgmental to protect ourselves and future generations. If I had to be completely honest, I've never even made it past a 2nd date with a man with divorced parents. Somehow I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 01:11 AM
68

If a guy thinks it's disrespectful for his girlfriend to post explicit photos of herself on the internet for all to see, then it is also disrespectful for him to be viewing nude photos of other women. It makes no sense for it to be perfectly normal for a man to view pornographic images, yet "slutty" for women to create them. If viewing lewd pictures really is "nothing personal" and "just images on a screen", then they would be fine with their wife/gf being viewed by thousands of men on the inter…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 06:52 PM
4

I've heard red pill men say that the wall isn't just about looks, it's about mentality. At some point, women start feeling like they don't have much time left and need to compromise their standards if they want someone decent. This is what the entire manosphere is waiting to pounce on. This is not a mindset I nor anyone on FDS should subscribe to. The second you allow an inch of scarcity mentality to creep into your mind, all the FDS strategies start crumbling. Pre-FDS, I felt chewed up and spit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 05:06 PM
4

Their "obliviousness" is probably the reason they are still inexperienced. I'm sure there might be some rare exceptions, but either way, you must be especially strict with FDS guidelines if you give late bloomers a chance. No sex for at least 3 months for example. Pre-FDS me once gave an inexperienced guy a chance and he quickly started acting like we were in the same league, because he wasn't experienced enough to understand how lucky he was. He swelled with confidence and even got a little coc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 02:43 PM
2

I've noticed the weekly discussion thread is a bit more casual with what they post. For extra clarity, maybe reference the handbook in your question and explain how you have tried to apply it to your situation, but still feel confused about XYZ aspects.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 01:40 AM
4

It bothers me when the bill is placed in the middle of the table, especially when it's obvious that it's a date. I even had a waitress put the bill next to me once instead of the guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 08:20 PM
3

I follow the "no more than four" rule, so +/- 4. Gives me a good 8 year range to work with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 12:15 AM
1

Virtually all marginalized groups experience internalized discrimination to a degree. It takes education, strength of character, and positive role models to fight back against this mindset.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 07:47 PM
9

You don't bring up or even drop hints regarding exclusivity. Your commitment is the prize, not his. Date in multiples and give men 2 months max to ask for exclusivity. If they do not ask in that time frame, then they do not see you as their dreamgirl. This means they need to be cut off, which is why you should not put all your eggs into one basket.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 02:43 AM
9

"I'll know it when I see it." A++ response
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 12:49 AM
3

He will gaslight you when you bring it up. With guys like him, it's in their nature to avoid making a woman feel extremely valued and adored. Even if they aren't exactly negging, they love to angle their statements to make sure you aren't too complimented. Total deal breaker. Communicating with him will likely help him hide his true nature better. Unless he's extremely young, he knows his response was not appropriate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 09:37 PM
1

A few of my exes moved away after we broke up, but I still imply that distance was the main reason. Sometimes I'll throw in that I didn't feel like moving with them (implying that they asked and it was me who turned them down). Either way though, I've never long term dated a guy who pried, but I always have fake reasons ready to avoid giving LVM the satisfaction of knowing I wasn't treated like the prize every single time. If they ask you if you would date your ex if they moved back, you can jus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 08:44 PM
20

It's probably an excuse to pull kino-escalation, a common PUA tactic. Some of them will touch your earring, some your lower back while crossing the street, this one massages women in the first few dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 02:56 PM
19

You spend far more time, effort, and money on getting ready for dates compared to men. Him paying on dates is what makes things 50/50. Just think about how expensive your hair maintenance, wardrobe, and makeup is compared to a man's.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 01:47 PM
8

To those who've put this into practice, how do you withdraw? (Avoiding giving the silent treatment or close to it.) Can you give a specific example of subpar behavior that you would withdraw from? You sometimes have to tailor it to the situation. Do you cut a man off entirely when stops actively pursuing you? Yes, don't reach out to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 04:20 AM
7

Just stop replying after a few days. If they actually wanted to meet up with you, they will be prompted to ask.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 11:01 PM
4

The entire history of the patriarchy is about pushing social norms that ultimately benefit the collective of men. If you look at FDS, Twitter, and youtube, there is an obvious revolution brewing of women who are waking up and prioritizing the female collective, one woman at a time. Yes, some women are going to enjoy ONS, but there are other subs out there to promote this behavior. I don't agree with everything in this sub and neither do a lot of people, but we understand that taking a hard line …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 04:02 AM
3

Do you feel that Irish guys are more anti-black than some other european countries? I'm surprised that many of your bf's asked that since there aren't many black guys in Ireland I'm assuming
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 12:14 AM
1

They probably chose to carry cash just to avoid paying for women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 11:47 PM
3

SO proud of you for not texting or calling him afterwards. Also, which front page subs did you hear FDS mentioned on a lot?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 11:20 PM
3

It's always men who care about DNA over everything. They only agree to adopt after having like 3 bio kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 10:13 PM
7

Yeah this is the prototypical insecure toxic male friend. I would distance myself from him if I were you. If you have to keep interacting with him, don't let on that his negs bother you. Maintain confident frame at all times by laughingly spinning all his negs into compliments. When a guy does this, I take full advantage of the fact that I can "jokingly" roast him about anything now because he started it. He joked, “Who’s that guy?" My response would have been something like "Hahaha that's -inse…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 04:45 AM
28

Yes, and also because there is a strong undercurrent of mgtow/redpill bias in almost all major threads. The people who are most active (commenting, upvoting, etc) also tend to be the most LV, so their opinions rise to the top and influence the casual lurkers. For example, anytime there is a domestic violence incident, everyone will focus on the fact that the woman slapped first, even if 99% of the blame should be on the man for beating her half to death. Or if someone jokes about sleeping on the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 10:14 PM
1

That's a good idea. Any way you can share those through google drive?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 05:10 AM
8

I purposely don't point out certain red flag behaviors because I don't want the guy to be better at hiding his true self with other women. I'll only explain myself if the guy did something that many pickme's will overlook. Usually something that my friends would consider "minor" but that I consider offensive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 04:28 PM
5

Any idea who she is dating these days?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 08:18 PM
16

I played it off like I thought he was joking with me and went back to watching TV. This is the best strategy for boundary tests. What did you say exactly to make it seem like you thought he was joking?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:52 PM
317

Gay men know that they need to be attractive themselves if they want an attractive partner. None of my gay male friends would date "down" in looks unless the other person was mega rich. Unfortunately, my female friends will often date guys below their league because they think they'll get treated better (they don't). Thus perpetuating a cycle of low effort, entitled straight men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:38 PM
3

What are some of the specific expectations that you have?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 10:01 PM
76

Ew any HV 29 year old would be happy you're the same age. Also, how has OLD been for you and when did you start using it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 03:08 PM
3

I've honestly haven't had a guy suggest a franchised chain restaurant before, even my female friends choose local places. Even when getting coffee with an old friend, we always choose local cafes with character over Starbucks. Generic restaurants send the message that it's just another generic date. Some people will mention that they enjoy a certain type of food in their profiles (ie trendy fusion restaurants). This often causes guys to ask you what your preferences are, so they're more likely t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 05:43 AM
3

It doesn't have to be a high end restaurant every time, but I generally avoid nation-wide chains like Olive Garden. There are some cool brunch/lunch places in most cities and you could probably look for one of those for a weekend date. I don't always eat a ton on first dates either, but I like taking home the food and enjoying it later. I usually preview the menu and decide what easily digestible food to order before the date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 04:45 AM
84

I made a comment calling out this post for the lie that it is, and was of course downvoted. Esp when so many 30 year old women could easily pass as college students. The fact that this troll post is one of the most popular on reddit right now reminds me to avoid men who use reddit regularly. Next time any of us see posts implying that 30 year old women are insecure, make sure to find a way to communicate that the 30+ women in your life are doing better than ever in the dating game. I always avoi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 08:58 AM
7

Just say that you enjoy doing things outside the house, in whichever city you happen to live in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 05:59 AM
22

It's usually best to have an engaging life of your own, which includes hobbies, social network of friends, etc. This causes you to naturally be unavailable sometimes. I prefer ~3 days a week in a LTR, 4 at the most. Depending on your quarantine situation, you might not be able to 'level up' your social activities just yet. Once normal life resumes, I would probably bring up marriage plans in front of him (in the strategic manner I mentioned above) and then see him a bit less frequently. It's alw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 02:24 AM
48

Shera7 says to start bringing up marriage plans in front of him, but not in a way that guarantees that he's part of those plans. For example, if you are watching TV together and see a wedding take place, you can casually say "yeah I would definitely want something like that at my wedding" or "yeah I would definitely want my husband to be XYZ at my wedding". Let him know that you are planning on getting married, but don't make it sound like you are asking him to be the husband. (Say my instead of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 12:19 AM
56

I've never liked the petty guys who keep a tally of who initiates what. They usually don't make good long-term partners. I like masculine guys who freely express interest in me and aren't overthinking every interaction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 09:53 PM
20

Yeah they are giving you terrible advice over there. This first comment telling you to cOMmuNicAte is super cringe: "Mention the thing you're upset about, but in a way that allows for a discussion. Like, 'Hey, are we still doing a picnic?' or 'Hey I was disappointed that you didn't mention the picnic when you texted me.'" Translation: Give men as much opportunity and information to manipulate you with as possible. It's your fault for expecting any effort from the guy and maintaining any sort of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 09:47 PM
8

A lot of reddit guys say that because they tend to be the low social IQ types that need much longer to develop normal social skills compared to the average person. So they went from zero success to some success with pickme's.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 01:45 AM
106

> “by the time you’re seventy, they’ll be looking at the floor.” That's an awful thing to say. And his "apology" did not take ANY accountability for his lack of empathy at all. He just twisted it to blame it on your obsession with appearance *causing* him to speak in a disgusting way. If you were to get pregnant, do you trust this man to genuinely make you feel confident and beautiful over changes to your body? Changes that are permanent and in some cases drastic? Do not let him use more words t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 05:42 PM
3

they were arguing that women who were ambitious and had great careers should in no way, shape or form intimidate them Lol they clearly are intimidated by successful women, that's why they try so hard to come up with reasons to avoid being intimidated. TRP tries so hard to devalue women in their minds because any slightly independent woman terrifies them. They need complete control over a pickmeisha to feel secure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 06:12 PM
14

He should initiate most conversations in the courting period. He should always send the follow-up text afterwards saying he had a good time. There are petty men out there who seem HV at first, but secretly try to manipulate you into chasing them. I've had men tell me at the end of dates to "let them know what my schedule is like next weekend so we can set up our next date" because they were trying to force me into initiating the next text conversation. These types of men do not make good long-te…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 05:59 PM
49

Amazing post. I will be giving that book a read. This is the high quality content I needed after hearing people on AITA tell a 37 year old attractive doctor that she doesn't have much options LOL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 11:27 PM
3

How old was this guy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 05:01 PM
1

Were you guys complete strangers before you made the first move? I think this often depends on social context
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 05:33 PM
7

I've used OLD on the east coast before as well (age range 23+) and haven't run into this problem thankfully. Which app are you using? Sometimes I don't even reach for the check depending on the guy's body language. I usually talk to them for 2 days before we set up a date. I really don't think it's correlated to "male feminist" mindset because if you look at okcupid questions, >50% of men who say they split the first date do not identify as feminists. Most don't have an ideology behind it. Sure …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 04:46 PM
5

I'm proud of you. Setting boundaries is difficult, but every time I do, I end up looking back at my decision with relief and pride (after some weeks pass by). This in turns helps me set even better boundaries going forward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 05:17 AM
7

This survey of Democratic voters showed that 32% of very liberal young men (self-identified) believed this. The article didn't mention what percentage of conservative young men believed this, altho I'm sure there is a survey of Republican voters somewhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 03:32 AM
10

There is no study remotely close to this. If there were, it would be all over the losersphere. PPD just pulls random fantasy statements out of their ass
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 01:36 AM
12

You should go on dates with HV people first, and if they push you on it, say that you're not ready. You don't have to bring it up immediately. Just have fun, see what types of personalities you click with. You might find someone, you might not, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't put yourself out there at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 01:28 AM
1

Your ex owes you civility if you have children together. Since he doesn't owe your friend flowers to begin with, I wouldn't be that upset over the smaller bouquet, no matter the intent. If your friend finds herself too peeved over this, it means she hasn't moved on enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 01:11 AM
1

He's just an ex, doesn't really matter lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 01:03 AM
7

It's on the right hand panel
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 09:59 PM
52

Dumb foxes play innocent on the outside but are strategic/cunning on the inside. Act like you're assuming the best of him so he doesn't realize you're being strategic. Let him believe that you're a HVW who is used to being treated well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 07:34 PM
17

The haters care so much because the strategies we advocate and the theories we discuss here strike a nerve so deep inside them that they don’t even understand it. This is an amazing quote. I think it would be a great addition to the quotes currently listed the handbook!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 03:29 AM
20

If they think we're unhappy following FDS strategies, wait until they see the women on mainstream subs like relationship_advice and datingoverthirty. I feel exponentially better about my choices and interactions with men after applying the FDS mindset, and one look at our comments shows that thousands of women feel the same. Sure, you don't have to be super successful to get with a wealthy man, but most successful men of value end up married to successful women. I used to hear girls in high scho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 03:08 AM
8

He has your phone number right? If he wants to reach out he will reach out. It's normal for people to avoid spamming the work chat, so he should understand your reasoning. For now, just act normal on the work messenger with everyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 01:08 AM
20

It means they are confused about how easily they can upgrade to someone they truly like, so they wish to use you for validation/sex/emotional labor for the time being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 01:00 AM
43

The ideal response is to block him, but if you have to clap back, don't ask a question back. Just make a statement and move on. Asking any sort of question is implicitly demonstrating that you care enough to seek a response from him, which inflates his sense of self-importance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 11:09 PM
32

I do it not as an act of strength, but as an act of self-preservation. In my mind, there was never any other choice if I wanted to maintain some semblance of mental sanity and esteem. I don't always feel "strong"; I'm just aware enough to know that there is no other alternative once a man shows you that the relationship is not worth enough to him. Treat any suggestions of a break up as an actual break up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 08:43 PM
148

A lot of women don't orgasm from sex with these LVM, especially in the beginning stages. They end up acting and feeling more attached because their bodies haven't been satisfied properly and crave closeness as a result. When a guy does a good job pleasing me, I am very clear afterwards. Oxytocin is a complicated hormone and gets overly simplified by pop science in the media.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 05:36 PM
1

You did do the right thing, no one who values you takes days to reply. In the future, it's best not to explain to them what they did wrong even though you really want to. It'll give them knowledge on how to better manipulate the next girl
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 05:01 PM
4

Really proud of you! FDS makes you much more decisive and clear-minded
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 01:02 AM
300

Some of them will laugh condescendingly and say "don't worry about it" to get out of being put on the spot. In that case, I would say something like "looks like you're not man enough to back up what you said" or "what? too much of a coward to say what you mean?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 11:45 PM
11

I might do a post on this soon, but we've had a couple of discussions this week on why exclusionary language is counterproductive in a profile. Saying "no hookups" implies that you are having trouble attracting the type of men you want, which is not something you want to advertise to potential partners. Here's part of my other comment pasted below: The core strategy of "act like the prize to be treated like the prize" means that I never let men know that I'm having a frustrating time with OLD, o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 09:18 PM
8

I think I saw stats showing that r/relationships and AITA are majority women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 07:34 PM
26

Or should I sit him down and lecture him about it? Words like "disgusting" don't spill out of normal people's mouths. This man does not see women as human beings. If you ever get sick and start vomiting or having diarrhea, he'll probably be thinking about how unattractive you look.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 02:23 AM
13

Yeah he's just trying to get a reaction. I would probably just make out with his dad or something. lol jkjk
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 01:18 AM
8

Exactly, she could've said to stop going for f-boys who don't really care about you, instead of making it about looks. Even if she didn't mean it that way, vulnerable women will start thinking they should give unattractive/out-of-shape men a chance. I've seen it happen all too often with pickme friends, and worst of all, these less hot dudes still end up treating them bad. And TBH, most of the fuckboys these pickme's date aren't even hot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 10:23 PM
11

A language barrier, jet lag, and confusing street signs are preferable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 06:51 PM
7

Your job sounds awesome. I used to work in an ornithology lab, but I never traveled for it. You are so out of your ex's league.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 05:03 PM
14

You could bring up your friend/coworker's wedding plans & engagements in a casual way. This may cause him to bring up recently married couples in his own social circle and reveal his opinions on marriage or kids. I would talk casually about conversational topics that will bait him into revealing any non-committal traits. For example, if I see an older celebrity getting married, I might casually mention that it's funny how Hollywood stars get married and have children so late in life. If he is a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 06:58 AM
9

but I'm worried that I still lack real life experiences that will help me find/identify an HVM. When you start dating men, you will likely find the FDS wisdom and discussion topics clicking for you in a new way. You'll start seeing common themes mentioned here play out in real time. Since you've already gained a foundation of valuable knowledge through this sub, I bet you will learn quickly how to identify positive behavioral patterns. If you end up having questions about how to judge a man's in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 06:38 AM
204

UNTIL... We went on holiday together One of the few good pieces of mainstream advice is to never get engaged to someone you haven't traveled with. The sudden change in surroundings, life routines, and unexpected obstacles thrown in your way is a good test for many people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 05:58 AM
11

Always walk away from any man who treats you less than a 10/10. When you start dating again, make sure to carefully vet guys who don't treat you like you are the most valuable/beautiful thing in the world. I've walked away from a guy who implied that he thought we were both attractive people but not "supermodel level". He wasn't doing it to be rude or anything, but it revealed his true thoughts on my worth. 2 months later, he revealed that once he "got rich" he would have the confidence to appro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 07:19 PM
12

Do you live in poorly educated area? It might be time to pursue a higher quality dating ecosystem once quarantine is over (which could involve relocating or finding real life opportunities if they exist in your area). I have my complaints with the apps, but I swipe on ~15% of men in my area. It's rare for me to see middle fingers or "school of hard knocks". I rather not date if I can't have a roster, because I'm not mentally ruthless when I'm stuck on 1 dude, no matter how much I understand FDS …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 04:54 PM
6

What race are these men usually?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 04:52 AM
27

This is interesting. The east asian countries also have noticeable disparities, but the women on average still do less unpaid labor than the US. This is partly because of low birth rates I'm guessing. Indian/Mexican families may have more children and consequently more work. It is also disappointing that developed countries like SK and Japan have such a gap. Their education rates are very high but gender equity is lagging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 04:04 AM
8

I've been on this sub since last fall, and I've noticed that the content has been evolving quite a bit as time goes on. It could be the quarantine that promotes certain types of posts as well, so I have faith that things will equilibriate in a few months. Once I'm finished with exams, I might try to post advice/strategy content.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 08:58 PM
128

Lol they started their sub 6 years ago and we've already overtaken them in 1 year
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 06:43 PM
61

That mermaid wedding dress looks great, especially the lace detailing on the bodice. Kudos to whoever picked it out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 06:24 PM
6

In which case it would mean he's simply more into the other woman, and that's not necessarily due to her actions? It's often a combination of both. I have a HV male friend who treated all his girlfriends well, but this current one he is extra excited about. It's partly because she has many common interests & is his type, but also partly because she is very independent, confident in who she is, and super passionate about her work and volunteering. Her actions convey that she is happy and fulfille…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 07:09 AM
14

A HVM would treat you well if you act like a pickme, but would treat you even better if you act like a queen. I'm always strategic in all my interactions with potential partners, because I want to maximize every facet of my romantic life. Ever since adopting FDS mindset into my daily life, I've even gotten better treatment from platonic friends in non-dating situations. For example, back in college, I thought I was being a good friend by always being willing to do favors like drive friends aroun…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 06:48 AM
28

I took on a charity case once years ago. He felt lucky to be with me in the beginning, but his ego quickly skyrocketed and he soon convinced himself we must be in the same league, or else why was I with him? Then he started acting like he was the prize. I learned to never do that again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 04:32 AM
9

It sounds like you need to find a better dating ecosystem. Although LVM exist in all socioeconomic demographics, my friends have had the worst experience with less educated/lower class men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 03:09 AM
3

Yes these contrarians are always playing dumb-ass devil's advocate too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 03:03 AM
10

Please don't explain this to any other potential partner ever again. I really think reading the Sherry Argov book I mentioned above will open your eyes to the dynamics of dating. You cannot let a man know that you are stressing and freaking out every time he isn't getting back to you. It will making getting back to you a chore. Trust me, I used to be just like you. I thought that explaining all my emotions to the man will bring us closer and help meet my needs, but it always made things worse in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 12:52 AM
7

I used to use "I feel" statements a lot because that's what mainstream dating advice/therapists were always telling women to do (cOmMuniCate and lay all your cards on the table). After finding FDS and reading "Why Men Love Bitches", I realized that this type of communication should be minimized or used very sparingly. It only helps with most problems short-term but will reduce the quality of the relationship long-term. You will find yourself saying "I feel" more and more, while he cares less and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 12:42 AM
9

historically, I’ve been the one to reach out first This is something you need to stop doing in future relationships. It is preventing you from filtering out men who do not value you enough. Frequently being the initiator of contact will extend a fading relationship long past its shelf life and cause more pain at the end. If you let the man do most of the contacting, you will notice someone's dwindling interest sooner, allowing you to move on without getting even more attached than necessary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 12:37 AM
8

Thanks for all the work you do ❤. This sub is getting bigger by the day and so does their anger
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 07:40 PM
79

I'm glad this method is working for you, but it's generally advised to just describe what you do want in a profile, instead of what you don't want. With exclusionary language, many LVM will be filtered out, but high quality people can be filtered out too with this method. It's easy for me to delete/block LV men, so I rather maximize the amount of HV potentials. One of my core strategies is to "act like the prize to be treated like the prize." This means that I never let men know that I'm having …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 03:26 AM
117

Studies have shown that men rate women with the lowest BMI (without being underweight) as most attractive. Most women I know have steadily gained weight since high school, so I believe that's a big factor. Men are always complaining about all the "fat chicks" online. In this study, 20 was the lowest age available, but in another study, I'm pretty sure men selected 18 as the most attractive. This can't even be because of biology/fertility because 18 year olds have more birth complications than wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 06:33 PM
25

I hate to say this, but I've never made it past 2 dates with guys who are plumbers, electricians, carpenters, etc. They often make decent money, but it's hard to communicate certain concepts to them, as if there is some barrier between us. Or maybe they just don't care to understand. I've seen some of my educated friends give up on explaining things to their blue collar boyfriends and it's pretty disappointing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 08:46 AM
43

We should emphasize their thinning hair, loosening jowels, sagging jawlines, saggy genitals, and ED - not necessarily the beer guts. Since redpillers/PUA are constantly advising guys to "lift" and maintain a muscular physique, they will see our complaints about all the fat guys as evidence that being muscular will automatically give them a significant advantage in their 30s and older. Their skin worsens with or without the drinking habits, so lets focus on traits that they can't easily avoid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 07:28 AM
6

How do these men expect to marry anyone they want when they can barely get dates? When their "dry spells" often last for months at a time? Even with all the pickmeisha's out there, most of my male friends struggle to get consistent dates, much less fulfilling relationships dependably. Women have the advantage when it comes to sleeping with whoever they want. On the relationship/marriage front, we are about even (due to pickmes). With FDS getting more popular by the day however, we will gain the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 06:14 AM
14

Figure out a career with stable job prospects, such as something in healthcare, comp sci, accounting, etc. Look for something that can be completed in 1.5 - 2.5 years. There are many options in continuing education, with classes being held at night and online. I've seen people working while achieving a degree. If you don't feel 100% committed to leveling up your career to something long-term and stable, you're unlikely to be able to truly level up in your dating life. The 2 go hand in hand. You …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 04:52 AM
5

He told me to text him when I wanted to hang out again. Be wary of any guy that tries to manipulate you into being the one who reaches out first. They are the worst types of fuckboys. Not only do they want to use you for sex, they want you to beg them for it. I always smile sweetly and say 'sure' if a date does this, before deleting their number off my contacts. If they want to see me again, they have to text first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 05:41 PM
2

I tried to find a sub like this one years ago, but none existed. I hated how PUA/redpill had infiltrated the internet, so I was hoping there were strategies that would help other women combat pua. Last year, I saw guys complaining about FDS, so I searched it up out of curiosity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 05:28 PM
17

Would you bother explaining when a man takes 10 hours to reply to your texts when he’s definitely not busy? Or would you bother explaining when his texts become too low effort for your liking? This doesn't need any communication from your end because the guy is clearly showing you that you matter very little to him. Communicating with him would just be giving him more info on how to better manipulate you. Maybe he'll realize you need a few more breadcrumbs to keep you in line. I stop responding …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 04:42 AM
12

In that late night pizza case, I would not have bothered spelling out to the man that he disappointed me, esp because it's the beginning of the relationship and he should not be slacking. It's always a short-term solution that just leads to long term headaches in the future. For example, if a man asks you out for coffee or drinks, don't bother explaining that you want a better date than that. I'm not sure what your standard is, so our answer would really depend on what issue you have in mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 03:18 AM
1

My white friends only get asked that if they indicate in some way they might not be from here, like if they have an accent or if they reveal thru conversation that they may have moved here at some point. Or guys will ask them if they "grew up in the area?" rather than just straight up asking "where they are from". Do guys ask that question to your white friends with no prompting? That would actually make me feel better lol. I have called a guy out on it and he admitted after a bunch of grilling …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 03:45 AM
2

I'm not offended at all if an asian person asks because it's a completely different dynamic. With white men (and some black men), it's clear they are positioning me as the "foreign/different" one and themselves as the "american" one. If he talked about his own european heritage first, I could maybe let it slide. Even if they ask "where are you from?" in an innocently curious way, I still lose all interest because they completely discounted even the possibility of me being born and raised in the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 02:23 AM
2

In your experience, what percentage of the non-Asian guys get through the first date without mentioning anything Asian-related at all? I've noticed that some guys will very indirectly try to mention something china/korea/Japan-related, but I can tell it's because they want me to talk about my ethnicity, which is a red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 11:34 PM
5

I have noticed that foreign asians are more vulnerable when it comes to getting into relationships with toxic guys, because it's harder to understand what's inappropriate or not in a new country/culture. I would advise being more strong with your vetting in the future. For example, I ignore anyone who compliments my physical beauty before meeting IRL, asks "where I'm from", makes any sexual jokes/remarks, or sends even one low effort message. I rarely get asked out for coffee or drinks because I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 06:48 PM
22

I would just avoid any guys who are specifically interested in asian culture or anime. That should filter out 90% of them. I'm not sure what the optimal strategy for a FOB would be, but I don't date anyone who says anything to me that they wouldn't say to a white girl. I purposely act even more all-american than usual during the first couple of dates just to avoid giving them an excuse to make any racial remarks. The best thing to do is to try to meet someone IRL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 07:56 AM
8

Have they mostly dated FOB asians in the past or US-born? as i heard so many guys tell me that they like asians as theyre more easy and drama free and does all the cooking and cleaning. I've dealt with some weirdo's throughout the years but no one has ever said anything remotely like this to me IRL or even through OLD, which has a high percentage of creeps. This sounds like the type of thing losers on niche internet forums say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 06:56 AM
28

It's referred to as "social proof". They recommend a group pic with girls, but not one-on-one with a girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 08:10 AM
89

because if he gets in your head about your insecurities, it's over When a guy is being vulnerable with me, I will sometimes be vulnerable back, but only with mild "insecurities" that I'm not actually really insecure about. This allows us to bond emotionally without me giving him any real ammunition. This also allows me to test a guy to see if he takes the bait and uses any of these faux-insecurities against me at a later time. I actually do this in certain platonic relationships as well because …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 04:41 AM
80

I read somewhere that strangulation is one of the strongest predictors of homicide in domestic cases, more so than slapping, punching, throwing objects, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 08:10 PM
13

It's best to level up in all aspects of your life, not just looks. You will attract LVM no matter how beautiful/successful/charismatic you are, but your chances with HVM do go up if you level up. I've seen overweight women do better once they slimmed down. Yes they still had LVM after them (even more than before), but the amount of HVM approaching also increased. I don't mind swatting away LVM, so I prefer to look as attractive/elegant as possible to increase the number of high quality men I att…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 11:15 PM
2

Which books did you use to improve your conversational skills?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 06:36 PM
72

*the average male on reddit, who obsessively thinks about virginity because they had to hire an escort to lose theirs and no one wants to date/have sex with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 04:41 AM
5

This is an amazing post. When you "nag" someone to do something, it shows that they don't have to be afraid of losing you. That subpar behaviors will just be met with guidance and advice from you. It shows that you are there to improve *their* lives, to help them the way their mothers would. Making your own standards known and refusing to engage with anything below your standards is the only way to go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 06:12 PM
12

It takes more time/energy in the beginning, but after a while, it becomes second nature. It's a skill just like anything else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 04:47 PM
6

> I know a lot of red pillers think like this but the opinion is also popular among other people. And btw the guy who said it was late thirties, fat with acne scars. ​ That's because he spends his time on internet forums like TRP or PUA. Most normal people do not believe that women peak at 20. Only those who have struck out with women and found refuge in the losersphere think like this. No one else even cares how old Lana del ray is. Non-losers don't even know how old most celebrities are, becau…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 05:20 AM
3

Did he make the analogy because you told him you don't have sex until commitment? I usually wouldn't verbalize my standards or "rules" like that. At most, I act like a dumb fox that's never had a guy pressure me for sex before commitment, because they've always been eager to try to get my commitment first. I avoid making it seem like I'm following any rules/guidelines. However, if you do accidentally get yourself into this situation, I would say: "If the milk is so cheap, why do you seem to have…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 07:13 PM
26

As a woman, you spend much more time/effort/money to get ready for dates because women are held to higher grooming standards than men. If you have long hair, your hair care alone puts the average guy's grooming effort to shame. You can also look up the "pink tax", which is a phenomenon where feminine products are priced higher while being packaged in smaller portions. If men expect us to look conventionally feminine, we should expect them to cover conventionally masculine duties.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 06:45 PM
17

Never, ever give to get. Really great way of putting it. I think I'll say this to some of my more pickme friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 04:53 PM
3

Yeah I'm not super well versed in the dating habits of older, overweight people, but most average guys that I know who are relatively fit/not fat have trouble finding someone who they click with and likes them back. I've seen the girls they go after and it's mostly within their league.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 05:03 PM
6

Most average men I know have trouble getting laid or getting into a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 04:34 PM
56

She probably cleans it after he's done using it, that's why she's complaining about how hard it is to wash...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 06:59 AM
23

Keep at it! I've been visiting this sub almost everyday for the past 6 months. It keeps me from lying to myself or making excuses for people in my life (both dating and non-dating interactions).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 12:19 AM
384

I probably would have said "And I need $500 venmoed to me first so I can trust you. Just how my brain works."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 03:58 PM
3

This is very interesting. Can you give examples of you confronting these types of guys?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 03:33 AM
23

Exactly, police officers often use silence as an interrogation technique. Say nothing and the suspect spills everything, because the pressure is too much. It helps us to be aware of this just in case someone tries to use it against us. For example, I had an HR person try this with me when I disputed the salary offered. She remained silent after I first brought it up, hoping that I would start fumbling or backtracking. Instead, I remained silent as well until she was forced to respond. Another th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 05:30 PM
32

When you stay silent, it forces them to self reflect or at least to feel self conscious. If you answer, he wins because you're giving him attention and you're taking attention away from his own neediness or lameness This is a really great explanation as to why staying silent and withdrawing attention is so effective. Whenever a guy does anything that is sub par, even if it's just sending a lower effort text than usual, my go to response is always just silence. No need to reward sub par behavior …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 03:42 PM
3

Great post. If I'm having trouble detaching after a date, I'll change the date's name in my phone to something jokey to help mentally take him off the pedestal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 11:11 PM
12

This 100%. With FDS, I'm not using manipulative tricks. Even someone who lurks this sub 24/7 wouldn't be able to recognize that I'm using tactics from here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 08:42 PM
61

Most of the bitter men who lurk this sub hate paying for even the first date. They may be willing to say the "right" things, but us FDS women only consider dating men who put their money where their mouth is. The PUA types will not see having sex with us as a "win" if they had to wait 3 months and pay for all the dates and outings during that time. They get off on getting sex from us for as small of an investment as possible. It's easy to filter out if you make them invest first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 08:40 PM
36

The pick up artists are in a no win scenario when it comes to combating FDS strategy. If they want to pay for all our meals/dates for 3 months without having sex, constantly be the one initiating texts, consistently say/do supportive/positive things that make us feel like the prize, then they can be my guest. I much rather deal with a few PUA's that invested tons of time/effort/resources into pretending to be a HVM than have this sub be hidden from public discovery. I'm extremely strategic when …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 08:32 PM
143

We don't play hard to get here. We are hard to get.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 06:43 AM
5

I mean, I used to feel satisfaction after texting a long emotional angry essay to a guy and then blocking, because I felt like I was getting it off my chest. I've evolved since then and I feel so much better after texting a short response laughing at them or just straight up blocking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 03:33 PM
17

I probably would have just responded "who's this?", and when he responded with his name, just said "LOL no thanks." When it comes to getting your feelings off your chest, it's best to make it seem like you're laughing at him and find his idiocy hilarious. I never let f-boys know that their actions bothered me in any way. I just let them wonder why they're the laughingstock.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 03:29 PM
32

Weird because all these guys act like getting rich and successful makes up for the fact that women don't want them, but now it's some amazing insult to point out someone's wealthy and single?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 03:24 PM
12

I've honestly never had a good experience with someone who asked that question. They usually ask that question if the date is going okay, but there is a lack of major chemistry. Thankfully, no one asks me that when the date goes well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 05:27 AM
8

The majority of people in this thread are extremely against fwb's and consider women who partake in them to be desperate pickme's or libfem handmaidens. Because of this, I felt comfortable speaking about my positive experiences (which only work because of a rare combination of factors), since I believe most vulnerable readers will see this thread and decide against fwb arrangements for themselves. It's generally rare for me to say anything positive about this because I realize that some women ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 07:12 PM
9

I'm proud of all my interactions with men ever since I leveled up, and especially since discovering this amazing subreddit. FWB arrangements require an extra level of ruthlessness, and if you're naturally apathetic towards men by default, it can be a positive experience. I don't expect most women to be apathetic, nor should they be. It's not something to aspire to. Women's natural empathy and emotional IQ is what makes our gender superior imo, which is why I recommend pursuing LTR's to most of m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 06:46 PM
9

I don't think most women are built for FWB's and there's nothing wrong with that. It ends up being a waste of time and energy for most women, which is why I don't advocate it to my friends. They seem most happy in a relationship so I encourage them to avoid casual relations because it ends up being a distraction. The fwb arrangements I've had centered around the men going down on me. Sometimes I'd reciprocate, sometimes I would just fall asleep right after. They always paid if we did any activit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 06:25 PM
14

This is why I usually don't recommend FWB to my friends even though I have had FWB's. Most women just aren't as apathetic towards the men like I am. They don't seem to know how to selfishly get what they want out of the arrangement, and it's just easier for them to avoid casual relations altogether. I've had positive experiences with my fwb's but it takes a certain type of person to handle the situation correctly, or to even enjoy it at all. I firmly believe that being in a relationship with som…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 05:11 PM
9

He also refused to answer when I asked if it bothered him that I was so anxious most of the time. He's showing a lot of red flags, so idk if marriage to him would be a good idea. However, it does seem like there is room for you to level up and improve your confidence. If you are the overly anxious type, you may want to see a therapist and become a more emotionally well-rounded person. I have a cousin who is very anxious and it kinda drives people crazy. It makes it very hard to be a strong, deci…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 11:29 PM
28

Not a bad opener. However, be careful if he keeps using statements like "I'd enjoy hearing about XYZ." or "I'm doing XYZ on Friday. You should come with me." It's a common pick up artist technique to use statements in place of what are usually questions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 01:53 PM
7

Not responding to texts that are low effort, or which contain content I disapprove of, is one of my best strategies. For example, if someone says that Saturday doesn't work for him anymore because of XYZ, but does not give me specific dates he can reschedule to, I simply don't respond. I only respond if his text contains something that gives me a reason to respond. Otherwise, I don't expend energy thinking of a text. If you find yourself putting a lot of mental energy figuring out how to word a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 10:36 PM
10

Yeah, in high school I used to call myself a pessimist/realist and looked down on the bubbly 'popular' girls. I realized my mistake as I got older. They weren't dull or boring once I got to know them. They are awesome because women are awesome. In fact, I only thought they were boring because I didn't have enough social skills to carry high quality convos with people outside of my social circles. Instead, I mostly relied on inside jokes and established dynamics with my close friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 01:29 PM
9

You are doing exactly what you should be doing. Dropping other quality men just because you have a favorite prospect is against basic FDS principles. You are just getting to know these men and they have to prove themselves worthy of any attention you give them. If you zero in on one man, it will be extremely difficult to implement FDS in practice. You leave your emotions much more vulnerable to the actions of 1 person. Dropping other men was my biggest mistake back in the day. I wanted to be a q…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 11:22 PM
9

Yeah and the pencil gets shorter every time its sharpened, thus losing value. Two can play this game lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 01:07 AM
49

This is the type of mindset that redpill men prey on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 03:00 AM
9

when I let my diet slip I get waves of thinking I'm God's gift That's fascinating. Is this common among people who have PCOS?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 02:32 AM
35

I would have been like, "compared to your trash dick it might as well be" 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 03:16 PM
30

we're the fasted growing sub on reddit so far this year. I didn't realize that. That's amazing! The push-back on the dating field is OVER DUE For sure, the loser manosphere has been around forever. I'm so relieved I finally found a place to expand and hone my ideas with like-minded women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 02:03 AM
28

As women, society has taught us our whole lives that we should be catering to the impossible standards that men set and be "better than the other girls". Self-improvement is our default state. We learn from a young age that we need to be beautiful but also smart, feminine but also fiercely independent, career driven but also domestic. Women everywhere are putting in more time towards their education, beauty, fashion, health, and families and this is reflected in every study. For a lot of LVM who…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 12:41 PM
5

I agree, I (or someone) need to make a more comprehensive post about roster dating because people think living a busy life will make up for not dating in multiples, which it doesn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 01:15 AM
1

I'm planning on taking the pics near the beach when the weather gets warmer. I think the wind whipping your hair around is flattering for photos. Idk if I will do multiple locales. To prevent your pics from looking contrived, the other photos should include friends (like a high res pic taken at a wedding), pets, or be an action shot of you doing something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 12:20 AM
4

The key to oneitis, like most ailments, is early detection and self awareness. It's easy for a lot of us to romanticize men after only a small number of dates. I tend to quickly divert my energy towards talking to other men who interest me if I find myself "crushing" on a person, sometimes even after only 2 dates. If you're having trouble building a roster of men that interest you, try looking at the level up subs. I've personally lost 10lbs these past months, changed my whole wardrobe, learned …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 03:43 AM
10

If I feel myself developing oneitis, that means it's time to increase my abundance mentality. This could mean going to a bar with a friend to meet cute guys, talking to guys on apps (depending on how those work for you), or going to parties/events where I know I'll interact with men. Even if those other guys aren't as good, it's a reminder that your oneitis is just a guy, and men are plentiful. I do this whenever I start caring whether a guy is texting me back or not. It works for me because I t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 02:21 AM
11

I generally date in multiples, so at the 2 month mark, I'm likely busy with other prospects. If he asks to see me, I would just tell him I have other engagements during that time, or even that I'm meeting someone for dinner. He'll usually get the hint that you're pulling away and meeting other men. What he does with that info is up to him, because I'm already walking away at that point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 02:11 AM
31

It's good that you know better now. Men know early on if you are their dreamgirl or just a placeholder, so if they don't ask by 2 months I cut them off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 07:22 PM
117

"Let's see where this goes" is not an acceptable response, but I personally do not ask men about their commitment level or "what we are". It's my commitment that they have to chase, not the other way around. Men who want to invest in you will show it. If you have to ask, that's a good sign he's not the one for you, not to mention it implies that the terms of your relationship are his to decide. And no buying gifts or girlfriend treatment for men who you aren't sure where you stand with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 06:23 PM
11

I usually tell people it's because women are held to higher grooming standards. It takes more time, effort, and money for us to get ready for a date. Makeup is expensive. Long hair is hard to manage compared to short hair. Check out threads about long haired men talking about how they never expected how much maintenance that long hair needs. We don't realize it because we're used to it. Also tell them about the pink tax. Women's products, especially hygiene products, are more expensive than men'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 12:31 PM
6

The celeb crushes from their childhood are never asian though, because there aren't really any Asian-American star actresses or singers
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 03:57 PM
4

Yeah body type/hair color is a big one. When it comes to non Asian men, I ideally prefer a racially diverse dating history, where maybe the girls share certain features but not ethnicity. That's why it's challenging lol, because lots of men don't have that type of dating history.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 03:44 PM
6

This can be challenging for asian women who date interracially. Most of my Asian-American friends vet white/non-asian men to make sure they haven't dated asians before. There also isn't many asian american celebs to have posters of or childhood crushes on. If they have a poster of a kpop star I would probably side eye him for being a koreaboo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 05:33 AM
95

I wouldn't make public FB posts about my standards for the world to see. I think it was Chrissie on youtube who said that you should keep your level up journey a secret between you and very trusted supportive friends. The best way to filter out LVM is to judge silently and ruthlessly. If potential partners come across your FB post, they will know that you've been dating down. When it comes to dating successfully, it's best to give off the impression that you have no problem attracting high quali…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 02:16 PM
24

Lol I've never met a HVM who dm's people on reddit. That said, I would never let real life men know I post here. At the end of the day, dating is a bit of a battle and I do not want men knowing my strategies. Especially because I play an innocent dumb fox to get my way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 06:44 AM
5

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:01 PM
8

I sometimes use the "can't afford" reason, but I generally don't like to downplay my financial success as a HVW. High-earning women like doctors/lawyers/etc should have things paid for just as much. It's important for men to know I'm used to affording high end things so they work extra hard to impress me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 02:59 AM
9

when I texted him two hours ago Oh no I had assumed you left his last message on read and that was that...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 11:18 PM
36

Straight fax
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 08:30 PM
1

Oh yeah, I wouldn't tell guys that I'm going on dates with others. By keeping busy, not answering all his texts right away, and going to social engagements without him, he should naturally suspect the possibility you're seeing others. If asked, I would probably vaguely say I'm spending some time with someone from my class for example.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 08:26 PM
15

If they do not suggest other specific times they can meet up, I leave them on read. Because when you think about it, what would be the point of responding? Even with my friends, I don't just cancel plans without suggesting other times
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 02:09 PM
3

Since you want to remain friendly with him, I would probably say "I wasn't sure what we were exactly, so I didn't want to turn down opportunities to meet other people." In general, I don't directly say I'm going out with others. It may be hard when you're in the same friend group, but it's best not to hang out everyday. I would have probably gone to parties/social engagements that he was not invited to, so that he implicitly knows there is the possibility of you meeting another guy there. If you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 03:09 AM
12

Cool, thanks for writing out the dialogue. My personal suggestion is to make your sentences as concise as possible. Whoever has to say/explain more has the least power in the dynamic. For example, when he says "let's confirm later in the week", you could just say "Great, lmk. I'll let you know if Friday still works for me at that point." That way, you're being polite/unbothered while at the same time letting him know that you wait around for no one. For me, feminine energy is more about subtlety…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 04:39 AM
12

Can you give some real life examples of what you have said to men to get your point across with this strategy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 10:56 PM
40

Ugh Big Sean isn't even cute. He looks like a worm
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 11:35 PM
19

They love to mislead inexperienced or recently divorced women who haven't dated in years by telling them that they should push to pay their share, or at the very least pay for the guy on the 2nd date. I regret not directly PMing the women to tell them to ignore the lies. At least now I can link them to FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 09:42 PM
33

LVM dominate almost every part of reddit. On the okcupid subreddit, you will be made to feel crazy for suggesting that the man pays for the first date. Every guy will tell you that no one does that anymore and say that "this is why you're single", despite the fact that all the pickme's on that sub are single too. Most relatively normal men who use reddit barely post/comment. The ones actually typing responses are bitter losers who are unfortunately influencing all the lurkers to believe their an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 09:28 PM
6

I'm glad your strategy is improving your efficiency when weeding out fuckboys. It's interesting hearing your experience because I tend to go the opposite direction to weed them out. I do that famous "dumb fox" strategy that Sherry Argov advocates, where I act like I didn't even realize that LV males were a thing, because I've personally never experienced one, because I'm that high value. And if he tells me about LV behavior he's seen from other men, I act confused and befuddled, like I don't und…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 03:39 PM
7

I wouldn't expound on friends' boyfriends low value behavior. That will a) make him feel like the rare special man who puts any effort in and b) imply that I hang out with a low value crowd and may be LV by association, since our behaviors often mirror our closest social circle. You could talk about a coworker's boyfriend instead if you really want to get that point across. When I meet girls who talk about all the BS their close friends deal with, 9/10 they have pickme behaviors themselves. That…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 05:24 AM
9

I next guys who use trite terms of "endearments", like "Hi beautiful/sunshine/cutie/gorgeous" etc. I've never had a good experience with a single one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 07:04 PM
3

The less hardcore ones probably wouldn't pay past 3 dates though, much less 5. Or wait even 1 month for sex. I usually don't worry about red pillers because they won't make it past even a basic filter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:22 PM
11

I purposely took a job that required me to make eye contact and socialize with new people every day. Now it's easy for me to make eye contact and smile. Even though I'm an introvert.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 06:11 AM
20

Like I've said before, red pillers don't pay for dates. Investing financially in a woman before she sleeps with them is against their core beliefs. It's super easy to filter for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 09:42 PM
8

You do NOT have to wish him valentine's day first. You do NOT have to be the one shouldering the emotional labor of a relationship with someone who does not use basic common sense to approach an internationally known holiday. I have NEVER had a good experience with a guy who had to be told to do baseline decent things for me. This is not a pickme relationship advice subreddit. Next time, cut any guy off who has to be pushed to put effort into you. I've dated inexperienced men who put in a ton of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 08:25 PM
8

I'm sorry you had to find out this way. Proud of you for knowing what you deserve. It can be hard for inexperienced daters to be clear minded like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 03:59 PM
27

A lot of them are teenagers in high school
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 01:01 AM
32

I wonder what caused that big jump from August to September. I joined in September if I recall correctly. Proud to be a member!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 12:58 AM
12

LMFAO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 09:07 PM
59

Men: Why can't women just communicate how they feel?? Women: Communicates how they feel. Men: You b*tch
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 05:07 AM
361

The only "wall" any of us will encounter 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 06:22 PM
70

This will also be good for when we recommend FDS to women from the relationship subs and irl. Attaching a positive article from the WSJ will influence some of the skeptics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 03:00 PM
22

No, you maintain a rotation of men and give potentials 2-3 months to ask for commitment. If they do not, cut them off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 06:15 AM
6

Since I'm petty, I would probably make up a story to her explaining why you're sad recently, and that it has nothing to do with your ex bf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 08:36 PM
5

Hahaha I change their names to things like "Baldilocks" (if hairline receding), "Elf" (If shorter than 5'9) and other derisive nicknames after small offenses, like not sending a follow up text within 1-2 hours after a date. I change it back when they earn it. That way I never take their validation too seriously because I smirk whenever I see their name on my phone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 07:15 PM
14

They probably pull up stats showing that older women are less likely to get married, while ignoring the stats that show that older divorced women are much less likely to want to be married compared to their male counterparts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 03:40 PM
3

Lol every guy I've met thru tinder has wanted to take me out for dinner. Guys just have a vested interest in misleading you. Like how every guy in reddit will tell women that most girls split first dates these days
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 06:04 AM
4

> Unfortunately most women are not this and definitely not for very long. The projection is strong with this one. > Do any of these posts contain "strategies" though? Subtlety is lost on these LVM. I've become infinitely more strategic since frequenting this sub, but strategy that doesn't involve pushy PUA techniques is incomprehensible to these fools. I've been leveling up in terms of looks, personality, and confidence since reading FDS. My in-person and text interactions with men has changed s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 08:10 PM
3

I'm guessing it's because they assume you must have tried less hard because they didn't pay you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 04:15 PM
12

One of my ex's even owned the art of seduction books and he constantly did this. So yes, I fell for this before. As in you were attracted to the sexualization of the conversation?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 03:51 AM
9

One guy suggested that after I said I didn't drink alcohol or caffeine because of my medications. I decided to use my FDS aloofness and he changed gears and suggested a steak dinner with a quickness. Of course I still blocked him though for the audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 01:30 AM
6

"They get real salty when they see you can provide but then learn they gotta earn that type of treatment." BPT might as well be redpill at this point. Any guy who talks about women needing to "earn" anything is a man who has never attracted HVW in his life and has become exceedingly bitter over it. And by "earn" they basically mean spread your legs and cook/clean for him. This guy probably makes 90k as a nerdy tech guy and dates low-earning girls to maintain a sense of power over them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 01:14 AM
57

These guys are usually exaggerating the hotness of the women they pull to save face in front of other LVM. If they were actually getting above average girls to come straight to their house to Netflix & chill they wouldn't be asking for advice. They likely aren't very attracted to the girls they are able to pull.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 04:18 AM
16

We should do something to celebrate the anniversary next month
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 02:45 AM
10

IMO if you look at a majority of women in FWBships it's because she wants to date him but he's not that into her..The women lie to themselves that they're okay with this because they're the cool girl but deep down they're hoping if they put up with his bullshit long enough Those women tend to be pickmeisha types, so even when they aren't involved FWB arrangements, they are still letting themselves get used by men one way or another. To a certain point, most fwb's are unhealthy due to correlation…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 02:27 AM
27

If it's early on in the dating process, don't ask a guy if he's going on other dates, or other questions intended to feel out if he's seeing other women. You should be too busy with your life/roster to care. After a while, if he values you, he will be the one sweating over your other "social commitments". Avoid creating a dynamic where you are wondering who else he's seeing. Dating in multiples was the best decision I've ever made when it comes to interacting with potential partners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 01:45 PM
82

This is why every guy on reddit complains about women "playing hard to get". In actuality, most women just aren't interested in them. But men can't help but assign motives to women that they find attractive because they can't imagine the woman not feeling the same way, at least to a degree. I've seen some female friends do this too. When they get obsessed with a guy, they assign 4d chess strategies to explain the guy's actions instead of accepting that the interest is not mutual. But because men…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 07:08 AM
15

Did he pay for the date?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 06:50 AM
7

This time, your "fuck up" helped you, because you got a LVM to reveal his true colors sooner. He may have revealed smaller red flags previously that you may not have noticed. Use this as a learning experience for filtering men in the future. And don't reveal you've had your heart broken. You are the heart breaker, not vice versa.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 05:16 PM
21

Yes, the losersphere realizes that some of us will entertain more casual options on our rosters alongside more serious contenders. Their strategy is to be one of those men who are able to be the casual option for women. This is why I never sleep with fwb's that don't pay for dinner and show investment first. I generally don't wait as long before getting physical with a casual partner, but they do need to invest in me financially and effort-wise first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 04:58 AM
1

I never thank them for the date afterwards. The ones who value me always texted me a follow up thank you that same night or at least the morning after. I didn't even have to make it super clear I wanted to see them again. Let them do the work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 04:27 PM
4

Yes, 90 minutes has always been the perfect amount of time for me. You're not trying to find out the guy's life story. The first date is like a chemistry reading. Keep it light, fun, and leave them wanting more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 04:06 PM
14

TRP guys don't pay for dates
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 07:22 PM
5

I've seen plenty of male med students get married before having their careers established. The type of guys who want to wait are actually waiting to see if their options open up once they are a fully fledged doctor/lawyer. Your boyfriend does care for you, but he's not ready to settle down with the first real girlfriend he's ever had. He wants a chance to spread his wings now that he's finally leaving his parents' house and getting a high paying job. Unfortunately, you are not a vital part of hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 04:06 AM
26

It's a red flag that he didn't ask you first before going. Also, if he's not okay with you picking up shifts as a stripper, then he shouldn't be visiting the strip club
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 03:55 AM
20

I wouldn't want his family thinking I actually wanted to marry him. I would probably be like "thank god I was so afraid I would have to awkwardly turn you down in front of everyone lol!!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 10:43 PM
3

Right, that's why we focus on leveling up and positioning ourselves as the prize. There should be multiple men vying for the little free time we have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 07:49 PM
4

Maintaining a roster of options is one of the core pieces of advice given here. If not fwb, then certainly when it comes to dating prospects.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 07:42 PM
2

Are they the couple where the girl seems more invested than the guy? I saw a video where the girl obviously wanted to be engaged to him but the guy didn't seem to see a definite future with the girl
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 09:23 PM
13

I used to do that when I would see only 1 Fwb at a time. When I juggle 2-3 fwbs/dating prospects concurrently, I stop developing feelings for any of the fwbs because each person's flaws become magnified when there's someone to compare them to. I only pick fwb's that are incompatible in some way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 08:33 PM
10

Next time, I would also bring up older female cousins and relatives who were very successful with OLD, so they can't just blame it on you being young. If they ask "why are you still on OLD then?", you can also say that it's because you broke up with the previous hvm you met on there due to differences in life goals (eg. He wanted kids soon and you don't). Don't be afraid to embellish details that cover all the bases so that they can't trap you into a corner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 08:20 PM
33

If you have a brother, they'll probably say your brother. Either way, women are the ones carrying and birthing children, and do most of the childrearing. It should be no question that our surnames are carried on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 08:13 PM
64

If you bring it up directly like that, it implies that you are used to men not treating you, so much so that you have to warn them ahead of time that you want to be paid for. A better tactic would be to ask "where are you taking me?" and then avoid offering to pay when the bill comes. Yes there are men who won't pay for you, but this is the optimal strategy to find "real" men imo. You need to act like this is the treatment you're used to, and that you never even considered the option of splittin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 10:39 PM
2

Are you dating multiple men at the same time? If you are mostly focusing on one guy at a time, you're asking to get hurt
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 07:10 AM
24

If a guy says you need to "earn" anything, that means he's reading red pill or PUA advice. Watch out for anyone who's keeping tally on whose putting more effort. Real men are not that petty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 08:53 PM
10

Is there an age gap? He might have been trying to set up a sugar dynamic. I would have told him that building tension over time and slow escalation is a big part of my enjoyment of intimacy, and that men who don't understand this are not interesting to me in or out of the bedroom. I would purposely imply that his behavior reflects a lack of sexual prowess instead of letting him act like I'm the less sexually interesting or "fun" one just because I want to wait. Jumping into bed after one date is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 08:40 PM
29

They forget that very beautiful women are very used to these tactics. Even Jlaw said guys were purposely "mean" to her to show they aren't overly impressed. Trying to act different than the orbiters just makes you like everyone else. And I love how these guys think all girls are boring and stupid just because no one high value wants them. Doubt this tinder chick is an "HB9" btw
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 09:18 PM
24

We should emphasize older men's hair loss and loose skin the most. Saying that most middle age men are fat just makes redpillers feel better because they're always advising guys to lift and get in shape. Most of them will use our weight insults as proof that they will have it easy in their 30s and 40s because most men don't try at all. A lot of pua types use muscles to make up for lack of personality and confidence
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 09:14 PM
46

My friends and I have had the opposite experience. I also don't date guys who go to strip clubs, so it likely varies by demographic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 06:31 AM
7

I wouldn't call him an asshole out loud, that would make it seem like he's powerful enough to upset her emotionally. She should just say it's her business when/how she pays and he needs to mind his own damn business.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 04:50 AM
103

Try dating closer to your age
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 02:09 AM
14

A lot of guys won't ask, but will still lose respect if they happen to find out you slept with a different race. My friend's dad would kick her out if he knew she had slept with a black guy. He didn't care when she dated a half Asian dude though (she's white)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 01:07 AM
4

When I'm angry and feel compelled to text something to a guy, I open a google doc/memo and type a rough draft of what I want to say. Usually after waiting 20 min and rereading the draft, I realise only the last 2 sentences contain an important point. For example, the point you made in the last text should come first, while the previous messages are background info that can be edited in as supporting subclauses. I always make sure to communicate clearly but not write too much. Once I was convince…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/19 02:59 AM
2

He has a good job, he's good looking, comes from a good family, he's never been divorced, doesn't have kids I feel like these are just basic qualities that you should expect from anyone you're dating. Don't have scarcity mentality when it comes to finding a HVM. But yeah, I'm probably going to get shafted with childcare, especially the grunt tasks. This isn't okay at all. It'll also be a lot harder to have any leverage once you have kids, especially because single dads have an easier time dating…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 02:45 AM
16

Men statistically rate low BMI women as most attractive. 19-20 year old women have the lowest BMI of all women. Of all my friends in their mid-20s, only one did not gain noticeable weight. They mostly look 'worse' because of weight gain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/19 11:56 PM
13

These trp guys are often against marriage and prefer stringing women along, so filtering them out with FDS strategies will decrease your daughter's chances of being single forever. (Not that being single for women is a bad thing ofc)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 04:21 AM
3

What about indian/arab men who are born and raised here?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 12:34 AM
10

“here’s what I’m doing, come join me”. This is a PUA technique. They avoid asking questions like "want to go do XYZ with me?". Instead, they will say they are doing XYZ and tell you to join them. That way, they aren't asking for your permission and are letting you know that they're perfectly happy without you because they were planning on doing that activity anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 11:54 PM
3

Hmm I wonder if the men who took the bait are the more judgemental types, since it's usually considered bad form to ask questions like that right off bat. Are you 23 btw? I heard a rule that the max number of socially acceptable sexual partners is how many years past 20 you are. So a 25 year old's max would be 5 for example. It obviously doesn't apply to people who are very young though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 06:46 PM
4

In your experiment, do you write the number of sexual partners on your profile?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 03:41 PM
2

Congratulations! Maybe I will give pof a try
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 01:02 AM
2

Did you meet your now husband on tinder or IRL?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 12:46 AM
41

Sucks when your face is the stereotypically "cute" type like mine lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/19 11:12 PM
2

Based on your post, I'm assuming you have a super awesome and engaging personality. Some people have this magnetic personality that draws most people in once they talk to you a bit, which is rare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/19 03:12 AM
5

Even if it is true, a guy only holds "frame" well when he thinks he can do better than you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 03:34 AM
21

Just pretend you are crushing or catching feelings for some other guy in front of him. And that you value your friendship with him because you get to open up about this stuff with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 03:26 AM
1

Tbh, I've had worst experiences with other minorities because they think being ethnic gives them the excuse to say racially un-PC things to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 08:35 PM
6

Yeah it's always the unnecessary "cheeky" sex joke that outs them. Women need to stop making excuses for men who make jokes in an attempt to sexualize the conversation and have sex with you early.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 08:03 PM
2

BINGO. Glad you have a good head on your shoulders. I would have cut him off after that stupid sexual remark. If you're going to attempt sex with a girl who shows no intent of wanting it yet, at least own it instead of half assing it with some dumb joke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 06:01 PM
11

I've never heard anyone actually using the word "prude" just because a girl turned them down. I feel like it's more directed at girls who they think are boring/uptight. If a girl seems fun and cool, and she turns a guy down, they would probably call her a "tease".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 02:40 AM
5

He probably only matched with sugar babies
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 04:16 AM
7

You can use it to your advantage because it will be natural for you to take the physical side of a relationship slower. Men won't think you're strategically withholding sex in hopes of securing their commitment. You should act like you've never considered having sex early on and that men have always been understanding because you are the prize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 07:10 AM
12

I think the study on the frontpage showed that men are dissatisfied if the wife out-earns them after getting married, but not much if he was aware of the income difference before tying the knot. It's usually guys who have lost the provider role after getting laid off from a good position and struggling to find a job that matches their qualifications. If a guy is passionate about his job and making 6 figures, he won't care as much about your income. Make sure to protect your assets with a prenup …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 03:35 AM
11

Good idea. And next time, don't be so hot and heavy with guys in the beginning, especially if you meet them online. A guy who frequently double and triple texts you is a red flag. There's no way that level of interest can be sustained anyway. Those type of people come on strong for a couple weeks before getting bored and moving onto the next target. I like to pace things slower to filter out the worst of the fuckboys. And be wary of virgins or inexperienced men. They really need to invest for at…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 05:55 PM
23

He wasn't seeing anyone else because no one else wanted to see him, at least when you had that conversation. He wasn't exclusive to you by choice. Now he is trying his luck with other girls because he figures if you said yes, others will too. I personally would cut off a guy that pulled away after sex. If he does come back, it'll be because he couldn't find consistent attention elsewhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 05:18 PM
12

You need to go on dates with other people. That's what he's doing. Virgins get a huge confidence boost after first having sex and want to try their luck with others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 05:04 PM
15

I've had good experiences with younger men. 27 isn't even really younger than you. I date 4 years up or down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 03:21 AM
19

something normal for my culture This is the key here. For a typical American woman, many guys will think she's strategizing to lock down his commitment by purposely withholding sex. In your case, men don't think that you're "manipulating" him into a proposal/commitment because it's normal for your culture. I'm thinking there should be a post about how to hold off on sex (or bf-gf relationships) without making it seem like you're purposely withholding. A guys needs to believe that it's normal for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 01:02 AM
53

I never ever ask a guy where this is going Yes, a few girls were saying that asking "where is this going" right away shows that you are a strong woman who knows what she wants. I disagree because men will interpret that as you hunting for a relationship, which will cause them to think that their commitment is the prize. They will start interpreting your actions as you being clingy even when you're not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 12:46 AM
3

You can receive oral from him and ghost him afterwards
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 09:57 PM
69

Most guys with options won't bother waiting 10 months just to pump and dump though. If your cousin's guy didn't ask her for commitment after 3-4 months of dating, then it's obvious he was just after sex anyway. If you're not sure, then he has to pay for dates so you get the collateral of free meals before putting out. You weed out most of the worst fuckboys by waiting even more than 3-5 dates. It beats having sex early with a ton of dudes and getting an STD. And as I've mentioned before, you nev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 07:55 PM
14

Don't act more attached after having sex. Act the same as you were before. Do not act clingy, jealous, etc. I don't text a guy first after we have sex for the first time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 04:26 AM
3

It's best to maximize options by uploading pics that show you socializing with friends, participating in hobbies, traveling, hiking etc. It increases your chances of attracting men who also leave the house and have a life. It also makes it easier for guys to send higher quality messages. Pics are worth a thousand words and all that. You can test out photos in the profile review thread on r/tinder
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 08:47 PM
4

I'm assuming you didn't reach for your wallet and that triggered him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 03:08 AM
13

He’d brought up sexual talk twice earlier under the guise of ‘being cheeky' I immediately block anyone who sexualizes the conversation, especially before we've established any in-person rapport. I literally lose attraction for them when they do this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 03:03 AM
4

My friend's cousin is disabled (unable to walk) and recently got married to a great guy. She has a personality that is very easy to get along with, so that may be why she attracts people easily. Are there communities for disabled people who talk about their dating experiences? It would probably be good for you to see how other people meet guys when they have a disability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 01:51 AM
9

If you give him an ambiguous answer, he will assume you aren't looking for anything serious You should be clear that you aren't looking for hook-ups, but you should not imply that you're looking for a relationship specifically with him. All my best LTR's have chased me for commitment, not the other way around. I act like a high value woman with plenty of options for relationships, so they do not think a relationship with me is a sure thing. That might be what saint-jezebel means by "ambiguity". …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 12:55 AM
1

How old is your friend?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/19 11:09 PM
8

I tend to act weirdly formal with fwb's, especially when arriving/departing from their apartment. This allows me to act affectionate/friendly during the hangouts without them thinking I want something more. I also refuse to be the first to text after each hook up session. I often delete their contact info to avoid texting first in a weak moment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 02:04 AM
24

It's because his attitude only attracts insecure/annoying women. Like attracts like. He's unable to catch the attention of vibrant, intelligent women, so he tells himself no woman is good enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 04:46 AM
5

He also says in his post history that "black people don't belong in Europe". It makes me feel better that asshole guys wave red flags so prominently. That means none of us would have been in this situation because who would want to date a racist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 02:42 AM
2

I know a lot of med students from my social circle and the guys are definitely higher quality than average in terms of personality, empathy, etc. There have been a few asshole ones but I've had good experiences with the vast majority of them. Most pre-meds usually end up switching career tracks at some point, so it's definitely not a guarantee that your guy will get in unless he's a top student.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 02:37 AM
10

They told him to stay with this girl but cheat on her on the side.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/19 09:38 PM
21

Also, he expects you to feel lucky that you're not being treated like all the other girls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/19 09:35 PM
26

He says he's 40 women away from hitting his goal of 50 women, so 10 women so far.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/19 09:26 PM
45

This doesn't sound real. Cardiologists have to do an internal medicine residency first BEFORE applying to a separate cardiology fellowship after that. You don't just go straight into a cards residency post med school. And all residencies are paid, so why would he specify that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/19 09:07 PM
61

The 2 squirrels in the back "5'6" and "5'4" 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 11:42 AM
18

LOL some of them are probably telling themselves that 70 is the peak because of the favorable gender ratios in nursing homes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/19 08:01 PM
6

he hung up on me on the phone after a petty argument Why didn't you lead with this? The disrespect here isn't even close to salvageable. People here are wasting time telling you to "request he not do it again" and "take things away" because you made him sound passably okay in the original post. Your mom's advice is probably the kindest response I can cosign to deal with his behavior. Do not take on a parental role to deal with his tantrums. That is humiliating and will only lower your standards …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/19 10:29 PM
5

Ugh this reminds of one guy who would initiate texts with me, but purposely didn't respond to my last text so that he could maintain his 'pride' over having to be the first to text. I feel like OLDers do this the most because they are jaded after being flaked on by everyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 03:36 AM
15

Maintain a roster at all times. Date 3+ men at all times. If you purposely wait, they can tell that you are playing games. You must be aloof naturally, not purposefully.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 01:29 AM
55

Some men will wife you even if you put out early, but they won't treat you as well as if you had made them wait longer. I do have friends who had sex on the first date and are happily married, but it's to guys who have less options or are less attractive/educated. If you want the most top tier man to treat you as a queen, then you should not have sex too fast. I think it's important to make that distinction so lurkers who read this don't dismiss what we say because they know girls who had sex th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/19 08:38 PM
10

I was talking about social skills with one guy, and he mentioned that he wanted to improve his storytelling skills. I told him I'm bad with pacing the story because I jump to the exciting bits, and asked him what he struggled with. He said he has trouble remembering details of stories, which confused me because why would you be excited to talk about things you don't even remember. Later on, I noticed that he had adopted some PUA/RP behavior. His 'struggle' with storytelling was probably just a s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/19 06:17 PM
8

I block anyone who sexualizes the conversation without knowing me at all. Even when I'm looking for a Fwb, I cut off anybody that makes sexual innuendos or comments that they wouldn't make in front of a potential LTR. I'm open to having a discussion about preferences after trust is established.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 08:59 PM
36

Bingo. Emma Watson's mindset drives them nuts because they hate how women can be on their own happily and no one is paying attention to them gtow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 08:49 PM
6

If I want to insult someone, I do it concisely and inform the guy he is blocked on all platforms. Don't give him the chance to drag you into an argument.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 07:06 PM
9

I think the okcupid sub can give good advice about profile and pics. You can try to find some examples of good ones there. You can go out with lower value guys to improve conversational skills if you have the time. I usually choose guys who seem witty or easy to talk to so I can learn how to improve my own social skills thru observing them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 06:30 PM
29

> If when you ask him something especially something that shows vulnerability, and he either brushes you off or laughs about it, then he’s most likely trying to “pass a shit test”. ​ I think this might be "comfort test" or w/e they call it. It's when the woman is trying to make the guy validate her or to "fish for compliments" by asking a vulnerable question and trying to induce what they consider 'beta' behavior. An example would be if a woman is saying that she feels unattractive and is clearl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 03:01 AM
16

> If you’re out and you see him flirting with another woman, maybe the waitress, then subtly flirt with the valet or the pool boy. ​ I agree, and it's also important to not act like you care that another woman flirted with him. Even if he isn't playing games and another woman really is initiating flirtation with him, don't act threatened at all. In the latter case, I won't purposely flirt with anyone else, but I make a face like I'm holding in laughter if he looks towards me expecting a reaction…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 02:51 AM
40

It's best to withdraw attention from him, but keep a good mood overall so he doesn't think he got an emotional response out of you. I might start texting on my phone with a smile on my face, or just generally act friendly/talkative with other people while being disinterested in anything he has to say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 02:45 AM
39

Lol one guy said it's good because it gives the guy enough confidence to make a move back. The problem is, it also gives him enough confidence to make moves on 5 other women. Even okcupid studies showed that when men receive initial messages from women, they are prompted to send out more messages because of the confidence boost.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 03:20 PM
36

> Men think they’re entitled to sex after 3 dates but don’t think you’re entitled to a text back the next day, Don't text a guy first after the first time you sleep with him, whenever that may be. If he doesn't initiate a text within 24 hours, cut him off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 12:17 AM
12

We just had a post this week about not being a guy's therapist. You give and you give because you are a loving person. Please find someone who you can actually depend on for emotional support. I've seen multiple friends put all their own mental needs aside for their boyfriend. You deserve someone who is proactive about managing his emotions and not dumping on you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 07:38 PM
11

Glad you found this sub! I know what you mean about getting hyped up by the posts here haha. Helps you not take any BS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 07:13 PM
13

He is projecting his own insecurities about not being/looking 25 anymore onto women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 01:47 AM
42

a body that won't age well So...a human body? lol Maybe he should buy one of the sex dolls someone posted about today. a sl*t past Apparently this was his first girlfriend. His definition of a slut is probably anything more than 2 past boyfriends
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 12:07 AM
96

Lol he's still insulting her appearance even now. Don't date a guy who makes you feel any less than a 10
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 10:35 PM
27

This guy probably showed a million red flags that this girl chose to ignore. She should never have pedestalized him the way she did. She needs to get over this by leveling up, joining FDS, and dating guys who far exceed this dude in looks, character, and personality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 10:26 PM
2

Asha C
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 07:24 PM
40

> What is NOT a high value man? I'm going to get into some specifics here based on the behaviors of low value men irl and on reddit: A man who asks "but what about men?" whenever you bring up women's issues or women's shelters/organizations. A man who purposely waits to text you back just because you didn't get back to him right away. These guys often stagger their reply times to pretend like they're not playing games, but it's obvious that they are. A guy who believes cliched generalities about…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 07:11 PM
44

They assume that women will subconsciously view the man as less desirable because he's positioning himself as "less valuable" by paying for her time. This is actually false even in a cave woman way, because I find it masculine when men take the bill and pay it without waiting to see if I make a move. It feels like they're taking charge of the situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 02:10 PM
4

It's fine if your pleasure is the priority and if he is more invested in the arrangement than you are. Many of the same rules apply. I don't do fwb with guys that don't take me out to dinner for example. Or men who play texting games. They should be very grateful and enthusiastic for the privilege of touching your body in a noncommittal context. Always know exactly what you are getting out of the arrangement. Be aware that it's 20x easier for you to find casual sex than vice versa so act like it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 01:45 PM
24

Don't ever trust what guys on reddit tell you. Most of them are cringy low value guys who get super bitter over paying for just one date and complain about girls wanting to borrow their coat on a cold day lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 01:10 PM
8

A solid guy with a big heart and a real life badass So? He's still not better than you. If you want to think of him as the prize than I'm not sure what you're trying to get out of this sub. I mentioned his salary because you developed massive oneitis for this guy and are unnecessarily hero-worshipping him. In my social circles, he would just be a regular good guy who gets regular amounts of attention. You really need to position yourself in better quality dating ecosystems if a "good guy firefig…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 03:49 AM
6

Agreed, I don't spend much time/effort on fwb's and it keeps me on my best game when dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 11:15 PM
5

It depends on the specialty within the profession. There are many different types of doctors/lawyers and different stereotypes associated with each type. The hours vary heavily based on what subsection of law/medicine they are practicing. Some of them work regular hours, some do not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 10:53 PM
14

Yeah the whole nurse+doc thing is way overblown. Dr/Dr marriages are some of the strongest of any professional pairing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 10:50 PM
32

He literally told me that I wasn’t allowed to argue with him about the texts Violating the 4th amendment just means that he can't get in legal trouble for the texts, not that you can't argue with him. You would be exercising your first amendment right to free speech by calling him out on the sexts. He knew this but tried to use legal language to belittle your intelligence. Did he go to a T14 school? If not he has nothing to flex about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 10:44 PM
7

Orthopedic surgeons can be pretty cool. Neurosurgery attracts a weird crowd sometimes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 10:35 PM
7

Don't make the mistake of giving the man you are interested in the perception of transaction. No, you missed the point of this sub. For a lot of us, we were being transactional before using these strategies. A lot of us thought that giving men access to our bodies, emotional labor, domestic labor for free (I used to jump at the chance to cook for men to show I was worthy), would cause men to give us love/commitment in exchange. Ever since I started filtering for men who are happy to invest in me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 10:12 PM
26

They are defensive after years of being marginalized by the "popular" crowd in school and getting rejected by girls. In college, there was an obvious difference between engineering majors who were normal cool dudes vs engineers with a big chip on their shoulders. They throw themselves into a stem career so they can finally feel successful at something after failing to achieve the fun college experience promised to them in high school. They never got to have much fun in their youth, so they tell …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 06:57 PM
3

Thank you! There is no higher praise for a redditor haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 06:33 PM
3

Yeah I dated a successful lawyer who paid for most of our dates before making it official. If we all expected men to pay more in the dating phase, they would be less likely to string multiple girls along and drag their feet when it comes to commitment. Either make it official or keep paying for both of us lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 06:09 PM
11

Lol OP doesn't understand FDS at all if she thinks men assume we jumped thru hoops for men before. None of my LTR's in the past 3 years had any ideas I even had rules. They just assumed I'm used to being treated as the prize and that I have options, because my behavior indicates that. WE are the ones men break rules for, not the other way around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 05:58 PM
7

If you want to split, for the love of God do not hook up before commitment with these guys. My friend is a resident doctor and her now fiance (also an MD) paid for most of the dates in the beginning. She did NOT make it known that that was her rule. You do not just declare your rules to the public, you keep that shit to yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 05:26 PM
8

Yeah, and if he doesn't see you as special and doesn't want to treat you as if you are special, then that's a good thing because you just saved yourself time and heartbreak from being just another girl he strings along. He likely wasn't interested enough in you anyway for a LTR and there are better men out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 05:11 PM
7

Even if it's not every date, I expect men to pay more than me on average during the courting phase. After a couple of dates, I can see myself paying for dessert if he paid for dinner, since dessert is cheaper. Grooming, hygiene, clothing, and makeup costs for women far exceed those of men because we are judged by a different standard. I can only see splitting costs being slightly acceptable if you never hookup before commitment. If you sleep with him before commitment, he is the one benefiting f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 05:00 PM
24

By leveling up and making sure you have equal or more options. This scarcity mentality will be the death of you. Just because other women throw themselves at your last crush doesn't mean you do. You shouldn't even have crushes to begin with on men who have done nothing to earn that level of mental investment from you. This is the exact mindset that Pick Me women have, and exactly why they are always getting fucked over. Don't pedestalize men just because they have some value. I'm sure firefighti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 04:50 PM
3

If you really like it and it makes you happy, then keep it that way. If you are neutral, grow it out a few inches. Having enough length for me to do some soft, voluminous waves in my hair helped a lot, esp when it drapes over my shoulder a bit. I usually rock shorter styles when in a LTR. When I'm single and looking, I want to fire from all cylinders lol to maximize my chances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 04:16 PM
11

They're just repeating the same old strategies that loser men were already using anyway. They're angry because they've already laid everything on the table while we are just getting started
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 03:42 PM
20

I had an 8/10 charismatic male acquaintance who was always trying to get laid. He often brought back girls who were not attractive at all because it's not that easy to pick up hot girls whenever you want to. He had been doing this for 7 years and had a body count of 26, some of which were paid escorts. Now he is engaged to a girl that keeps him in line lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 02:53 PM
7

Yeah I guess they see those girls as 'sluts' who don't deserve standards, while only the virgins are worthy of dating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/19 11:03 PM
18

Nah, they want every girl to be a virgin who only fucks him and no other guy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/19 10:54 PM
8

But I’m sure gay guys can get partners of all attraction levels as well. Wonder why the jealousy isn’t there for them. Oh it's there for them. My gay best friend got soooo annoyed when he found out that his boyfriend had a higher body count than he did, even though it was mainly because his boyfriend was 2 years older than him and simply had more time to sleep around. Before, he was always preaching about sex positivity, but the second he met a gay guy with an even higher body count he couldn't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/19 10:31 PM
21

This is especially true if they are not experienced before dating you. They assume that they must be in your league for you to date them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/19 08:17 PM
5

I've been thinking of getting a wig just to try out different hairstyles, so I think it can be a good option if it looks realistic. If you have a cute face I don't think a pixie cut is the end of the world, either. You'll probably get a big jump in options once it grows out though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/19 06:07 PM
19

Women with a lower BMI around 19-20 get the most attention. I was in the healthy range at 140 lbs, but my options shot up at 125, for example. My face just objectively looks so much better. Unfortunately long hair is heavily preferred. I'm sure your pixie cut looks super fierce, but men strongly associate long hair with femininity. I remember when Emma Watson cut her hair short after Harry Potter. My younger brother threw a fit over it lol. He was barely old enough to like girls, but it deeply b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/19 05:07 PM
20

Proud of you. I try to get something positive out of every bad interaction. In this case, you were able to prove to yourself that you can be strong against low value guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/19 04:46 PM
3

LOL he's not good enough for you. He's the type of guy who dreams of being a player and his ego would massively inflate if he gets hook-ups, even from low quality girls. Treat him as an orbiter and go talk to other guys. A lot of awkward guys are nice because they have to be. The second they get attention they become cocky.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/19 02:37 PM
17

Men are only the gatekeepers of commitment with women who are below their "league". For the average guy, much less for an incel, there are not many women vying for their commitment at all. For us women, we don't have to be top tier to be the gatekeepers of sex. Being a living, breathing woman is enough for the masses of thirsty guys. Average/low-tier men are delusional if they think there are masses of relationship-seeking women coming after them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/19 12:46 AM
5

Yeah there's so many fights people have about basic hygiene. Some guys even refuse to wash their asses because they think it'll make them gay lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 11:58 PM
3

So they admit to targeting loser men with biased facts about women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 10:38 PM
19

Meaningful connections come naturally to a lot of us. If anything, we are often too nurturing, empathetic, and caring, which is why a lot of women get taken advantaged of. I love sharing parts of myself with men and creating a deep bond, but now I know how to do it more strategically. The challenge is finding someone who deserves our emotional investment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 10:20 PM
23

Lol these men love being a virtual Captain among pickmeisha's
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 06:57 PM
37

Most men like the confidence boost they get from your validation. Then they take this confidence and use it to chase someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 06:56 PM
21

YESS I thought I was the only one who did this. I delete all contact info so I can't text them in a weak moment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 04:55 PM
16

Then why did gay people fight so hard for the right to get married if it doesn't mean anything?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 04:43 PM
24

Don't date guys who ask "who hit first" when they hear of a domestic incident
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 04:38 PM
11

In my past experience, I have found men with more success in general (more money, 6 figure salary, better house, hot guys) tend to be choosy. You should level up and increase your own options as well. The highest value guys I know do have options, but they don't usually end up with the objectively hottest woman for example. They usually end up with another high value woman who happens to be extremely compatible with them in terms of lifestyle, ideologies, personality, hobbies, and sense of humor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 04:26 AM
6

Damn, an onion ring? At least demand a ring pop...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 03:12 AM
6

Haha I didn't know being white supremacist would help an RPW secure a "captain"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 03:03 AM
3

If you are passionate about tradeswork then that's what you should go into. As you get older, you'll probably have the option of oversight roles just in case your body can't handle it. A lot of stem fields have tons of women because so many girls are going into science and engineering these days, so don't completely write off any potential interest you have in those fields either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/19 10:32 PM
3

People in general are attracted to those who are passionate and fulfilled with their life, and your full time job is often a large aspect of that. If you work a blue collar job, you're more likely to marry someone in that social circle. Their views will influence you. My female physician friends all date doctors or other white collar professionals because that is their circle. Your personality often changes depending on who you surround yourself with even if you don't consciously realize it. I'v…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/19 08:41 PM
16

I would say this sub is the female version of what TRP wishes they could be. They have their cute little "abundance mentality". We have abundance reality. We are the more valuable, more independent gender thru millenia of evolution. Once more women start flexing and honing their power, trp won't stand a chance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/19 07:24 PM
6

Looks like your life is on an upward trajectory. I suggest looking into cities with a favorable gender ratio once you're done with your degree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/19 06:31 PM
8

Childfree men say the same thing. Every woman they date wants kids. I've heard that childfree dating communities have much more male members. If you live in a conservative area you should make the move to a city with people who are actually compatible with you. Location is half the battle for some people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/19 06:27 PM
18

Stop using scarcity mentality to deal with this guy. Childfree men far outnumber childfree women. If you are not dating in multiples you should not be dating at all. Letting one man dominate your mental energy like this will screw you over again and again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/19 06:21 PM
5

LOL the recent Panera price hikes have probably priced some of these guys out. They can't afford a Fuji Apple Chicken Salad anymore and they don't want us to be able to enjoy it either. They probably plan to split a You Pick Two with a random chick they 'gamed' off tinder. Edit: Lmao at the triggered incel who messaged me from 3 accounts thinking I couldn't afford Panera. His only salvation in life is thinking that I'm poor while he's a stemcel nerd. Unfortunately for him, I'm financially more w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/19 06:36 AM
5

Glad that the engineers are treating female MD's as the prize! Haha jk I know a lot of women in the med field so it was the first profession to pop up in my mind. I'm glad that you're having great success in finding men who are not intimidated and happy to invest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/19 05:32 AM
46

They got bored after the incels sub got banned. Hopefully they'll give us some free publicity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/19 05:20 AM
6

I like running my fingers through their hair a lot, but they haven't said whether they liked it or not. I really like it when they have soft thick hair
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/19 02:11 AM
26

Lol this guy is a beta loser, even for an abuser. The fact that he considers walking fast to be an achievement proves this. I knew one RP guy who did some of this stuff to his girlfriend, who was (no offense) very obese and less physically attractive than him. OP is probably only able to attract women who are physically unable to walk at a normal pace. We shouldn't flatter them by calling this post disgusting because that implies that this moid has any real power in the dating game or over our e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/19 01:37 AM
1

It's a good thing he's even using up mental energy trying to get back at his 'misbehaving' plate. It means he doesn't have much options and probably has to pretend he has other girls lined up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/19 06:50 PM
3

If you're feeling out of your depth, it's best to lean on the safe side with slowing down physical escalation. You might find yourself getting emotionally invested if you escalate too quickly/too soon. Make sure you are seeing other guys if you intend to go further than just making out, or else the power will shift towards him in your relationship dynamic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/19 05:25 PM
4

I was always aware of keeping the upper hand in power dynamics, even as a teen, but I wasn't clear-minded about my strategies until after undergrad. The guys I dated in college were not bad people mostly, but they did not treat me like I was the prize and it bothered me. I knew, theoretically, that I should only date the guys who were willing to chase/invest in me, instead of the other way around, but I was an over-thinker who would "hamster" until I came up with an excuse for why their subpar b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/19 05:14 PM
5

I usually start a slow escalation of physical activities around the 4-6th date mark because I'm really picky about men's sexual prowess and need to weed out inadequate ones early. Lots of men aren't good at oral so that needs to be filtered for. I don't do PiV without commitment though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 10:12 PM
27

They think we're all combative and selfish in relationships just because we unapologetically prioritize female power in dating. They don't understand that we just simply know how to play the game better than they do. None of the men I've dated would have ever guessed how ruthless I am about my dating strategies; they just thought I was a warm, wholesome woman who always saw the best in people (lmao) and is used to being treated as the prize. RPW seems to think that we refuse to act empathetic/nu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 04:05 AM
15

It's a male-driven philosophy that revolves around the fact that men should have the upper hand in all interactions with women to be "alpha". They should refuse to invest anything in a woman until she "earns" it. They gleefully boast about how they get women to buy them drinks and how they will never pay for anything until a girl has sex with them first. They use strategies to make themselves seem more high value, such as acting aloof, hot/cold, pretending to have an abundance of women, and givi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 03:45 AM
5

Tell him that guys with options are too busy entertaining their options to bother sending a text like that. Then block him. He'll be seething afterwards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 02:12 AM
17

men only use you for sex anymore Lmao you don't use anyone for sex. You've given up on ever attaining positive female attention, so you relegate yourself to fantasizing about all women getting used for sex. Everything you know about modern society comes from incel forums. Seeing guys like you gives me such a confidence boost since you are biologically worthless and socially powerless. Please cry some more after I block you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 02:02 AM
11

True, but right when she implied that her dry spell was shorter, he said "We've been involved for seven months. How much not as long?" This means that he probably would've been bitter even if she did sleep with other dudes before they became official, or else he would have just said "3 months". Before they were exclusive, he didn't find anyone else to have sex with, and he definitely would've been mad/jealous if she did. That's why he kept pressing after getting the sense that she wasn't celibat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 12:04 AM
24

TBH she dodged a bullet. He just commented that if he was spiteful, he would have "fucked her before I ended it." This just proves that he views sex as a conquest in which he gets to take something away from the woman. He dumped his ex because she apparently lied about sex being something meaningful for her, when he felt that it wasn't since she had sex with another man. So if he believes that sex is not meaningful for her, why would it "spite" her to hook up with her before dumping her?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/19 11:50 PM
10

Really? Then why are there so many married RP guys on there giving advice? I assumed they were hoping for a RP guy who wanted to wife them, because they are "not like the other girls".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/19 11:37 PM
31

Think I’ve found my new home :D I felt the exact same way when I first found this community. I've held many of the core beliefs in this sub since I was in high school, so it's an amazing feeling finally seeing other women who share my ideas. My friends irl also take my advice more seriously now that they know a whole community of women feel the same way. Some of them thought I was an anomaly for so ruthlessly maintaining a favorable power dynamic with men, but now they know I'm one of many. Alth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/19 10:57 PM
9

Lol don't you know that he "reaches for things out of her reach"? None of us could ever aspire to such a generous partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/19 08:13 PM
5

Most of those situations you listed are not daily/weekly occurrences like most household chores. Men protecting us in dangerous situations is the least they can do when we carry and birth their children. And despite the fact that we go through such a painful and body-altering process, the children often get the husband's last name. They should at the very least handle aggressive situations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/19 06:10 PM
9

You need to start going out on dates no matter how much you don't feel like it. It might not be what you want to do, but it's what you need to do. It's like those people with major depression who say they absolutely don't want to get out of bed, and they don't see how getting out of bed will help, because they'll still feel depressed inside. But the thing is, they need to get out of bed before they can move forward at all. Laying there under the blankets will not help you no matter how much time…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/19 04:22 AM
21

Just be strategic about it. For example, I have body insecurities like any woman. I usually will open up by talking about how I would like to do some more toning because I noticed that muscularity is in fashion. I don't tell them that I'm insecure that my abdominal skin is naturally a bit flabby and prone to fat rolls. Talk about yourself with respect at all times. And only be vulnerable after they show equal or more vulnerability about past experiences. If you want to complain about what an ex …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/19 01:15 AM
4

Yeah weight loss is half the battle for some women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/19 07:37 PM
3

My parents come from a region of the world where neither men or women engage in casual sex much at all. I'm not sure if it's a direct consequence to this, but I notice that the guys don't invest much into their looks, working out, and dressing well. They also aren't very forward at all with approaching.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/19 07:15 PM
5

Yes it's all about moderation. I came from a conservative background and I thought having sex "ruined" a woman, so lib feminism did help me out of that patriarchal mindset. However, I always knew that even for women who enjoy fwb arrangements (like me), we must vet guys hard before letting them access our bodies. They must invest more, go down on you first and more often, pay for dinner/drinks, and treat me with tons of respect. This is because the social consequences of sex is not 50/50, so men…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/19 07:08 PM
14

If he's so popular, then most girls hopefully already know of the tactics and will realize that the guys using it are gaming them and not actually tough/alpha at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/19 04:27 PM
29

The PUA guys are actually expecting that type of response. When you casually/quickly respond with "nope, I'm just pretty in general", that makes it seem like you are used to dealing with those type of comments from men, to the point that you don't even blink an eye to that very racist insult, which means that larger numbers of men must not value ethnic women as much as white women. This plays into their frame because it implies you realize that lots of guys don't value you. The key is to act lik…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/19 03:28 PM
8

Saying they are too insecure and unpleasant is a good response and counts as insulting them back. Either way I show that I think they are low value without acting like I'm purposely trying to neg them back. You cannot act like their comment got to you in anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/19 03:14 PM
39

I don't want to give these toxic communities any free advertising. There are plenty of quality men irl who have never heard of pua/rp. If you ask him about his opinion on it, that normalizes these communities in his eyes because he will think they must be pretty mainstream if random girls expect him to know what it is. I don't want good guys irl checking out those subs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/19 03:06 PM
3

The problem is, men are not above "stooping to a level of trickery" to get you into bed with little investment on their part. Having them pay, even for $10 meals, means you are protecting yourself from men who want to invest 0% into the courtship phase before you sleep with him. This is because it takes men minimal time and effort to get ready for dates. For us girls, styling our long hair, using pricey makeup, shaving/waxing, buying nice outfits all take considerable time and money. We have to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/19 02:42 PM
6

Are you able to meet him halfway instead of him doing the whole commute? That way you could possibly exchange his shorter commute for picking up the check. I understand you really like this guy, but you should invest some energy into talking to other men so that you aren't dealing with scarcity mentality when interacting with Jean-Pierre over here. There are amazing men out there who will pay for more than 1 round of drinks. I also suggest you talk to Frenchie about your feelings on the matter. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/19 04:02 AM
39

Not everyone is going to agree with 100% of all ideas on here. The main point of this sub is to help women recognize their value and filter for men who will respect and invest in us. Most of reddit, including the dating subs, are dominated by men who will give you advice that ultimately benefits males. They are naturally going to be biased because they want to put in less effort for more sex. They don't even realize they are lying, because it's their subconscious that causes them to be drawn to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/19 03:04 AM
141

If you’re not the witty type, once you recognize that you’re being negged, the best thing to do is to say nothing while staring at him for a few seconds, smile and then walk away. Sometimes I walk away, but if I have time to spare, I prefer to deal with a neg by pretending to positively interpret it while subtly insulting them back. Sometimes when I go silent, people think I was hurt by the comment, and I don't ever want men to think their negs have any power. Basically, I do this by spinning it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/19 02:23 AM
14

Absolutely, and there are millions more just waiting to reject you. God it must suck to be a low value dude. Have fun masturbating and crying yourself to sleep lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/19 12:37 AM
3

I don't like to spend extra time thinking about the moids than necessary. Their strengths/weaknesses become very obvious when you spend time with each of them throughout the week. The important weaknesses/strengths will jump out at you as some moids disappoint you in some way, and you start thinking about how the other moid(s) would have done/said/acted better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/19 12:01 AM
13

It says there are "1,059 Bitches Here Bonding Right Now"! Welcome new users and lurkers!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/19 11:51 PM
7

Sure, but it's usually men who like to "sow their oats" a lot and keep their options open for as long as possible. This sub is about turning the tables so that it's not always women asking "what are we?" and having to chase the guy for exclusivity. I've gotten stronger interest from guys when I exude a carefree, unbothered energy around them. I don't act clingy or worried that they might be seeing someone else, because I'm also seeing other people. For a lot of attractive/charismatic guys, they …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/19 11:40 PM
12

My Type Saweetie. This one's my anthem. Have you heard the remix with Jhene Aiko? I also like: Feeling Myself by Nicki Minaj/Beyoncé Rude Boy by Rihanna Sit Still, Look Pretty by Daya Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson (can't forget the classics)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/19 11:23 PM
17

This is the most important takeaway of female dating advice in general. You might theoretically value yourself and "take no shit", but you can't put it into practice without maintaining a roster of options.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/19 11:10 PM
18

Just be like "who is this?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/19 07:10 AM
88

That's why you must keep things concise and unbothered whenever you're texting a moid that bothers you. Sometimes I just completely ignore someone who disappointed me, other times I'll casually bring up something they're insecure about and then block lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 06:33 PM
2

If a guy can't afford a nice restaurant, he could spend a lot of time and effort cooking elaborate meals for you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 04:35 PM
1

If you are afraid of not experiencing sex at a young age, you can try receiving oral from a cute guy and not reciprocating. Or maybe a hj if you're feeling particulary generous. There's reddit meetup subs just for women looking to receive oral. It's obviously not for everyone but just a thought! Pm me if you want a link to the aforementioned sub
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 04:30 PM
17

She needs to keep pursuing her education and other guys! This guy was just a bump on the road, don't let her turn it into a life ruining event! Also, I never have good experiences with military guys
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 03:06 PM
18

Tbh I often accidentally do this anyway because I often feel tired and overly sensitive after I cum, so I don't have the energy to get them off afterwards. I think they sometimes finish themselves off later on lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 04:07 AM
3

Idk what comment you were responding to, but I've seen some girls snag a shy guy by being forward. Later on, those girls usually had to be the first to bring up commitment, the first to say "I love you", had to "hint" a million times that they wanted a proposal, etc. I want a guy who recognizes a high value prize like me and is unafraid to chase it. Not someone who just goes with the flow and is neutral either way. If this next date goes well, let this be the last time you are trying/caring more…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 04:00 AM
7

Thanks for posting the original post and putting up with the crying manbabies!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 03:12 AM
15

"that's why you're single" Yeah this is honestly the dumbest argument and it often comes from single people. They ALWAYS use this argument on r/okcupid whenever they disagree with your viewpoint, even though everyone on the sub is single! There's always girls complaining on reddit about sleeping with guys within 1-3 dates and then losing the guy's interest. Those girls split 50/50, and look where it's got them. OLD is hard for everyone, but at the very least we should get some financial investme…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 03:03 AM
28

You can express interest in him, just not any more than he is expressing in you. It's all about walking that fine line of being just a tiny bit out of reach. A bit aloof, but also magnetic at the same time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 02:46 AM
2

That's why I always date in multiples. It causes me to express interest in guys, but not in a clingy way. They know I'm interested, but they also know that I'm just a tiny bit out of reach. This is how the human race works. Even when I'm shopping online for clothes for example, and I'm deciding between 2 colors that I like equally, I usually pick the one that says "only 2 left in stock". I assume that lower availability of that color/pattern means that it is higher value. I can't help but want i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 02:41 AM
4

How did you find this sub out of curiosity? I found it after seeing some incels complaining about it and was really excited to find like-minded women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 02:21 AM
2

This is exactly what happened to me. When I use to do one fwb at a time, I would develop crushes on them even when they weren't compatible at all. Now I always have a roster going and I'm able to view them all objectively. Now I'm the one with the power in any sexual dynamic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/19 06:25 PM
16

I'm probably going to make a post about this at some point, but it's super important for girls to not act any different after first having sex with a dude. Their subconsious is on high alert for clingy behavior at this point, and if you suddenly act more invested, they'll assume you're desperately trying to lock them down. Date in multiples to maintain the power before and after sex. Don't forget that it's the man's job to prove himself worthy. Having sex with him does not all of a sudden prove …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/19 03:06 PM
32

Before sex, a man isn’t thinking clearly and a woman is thinking clearly. After sex, it reverses. The man is thinking clearly and the woman isn’t. When I maintain a roster I think clearly. This is because I naturally compare the strengths & weaknesses of each guy against the other, preventing me from over-romanticizing any one them even after sex. I didn't even realize that I wasn't thinking clearly enough until I started dating in multiples.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/19 06:42 AM
2

I've given this advice before, but I often delete all the guy's contact information if his interest in me is not super obvious. This prevents me from initiating a text convo in a weak moment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/19 03:01 AM
9

they need to have some skin in the game. If a woman is taking the "no sex, I'm going to string you along", she's got no investment and nothing on the line. So they want us to have skin in the game, but what are they putting on the line? They refuse to pay for dates before sex, so clearly they want to put 0% investment in. This is why I never hook-up with a guy (even a fwb) without them paying first. They act like their strategies are to protect themselves from being used by us, but women only st…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/19 02:35 AM
2

If you're around my looks level, your looksmatch is probably someone who is cute but wouldn't cut it as a commercial model. Guys who are 6-7 usually look good if they clean up well (suit and styled hair), but don't turn much heads in daily life. My fwb's usually look like they could conceivably do some catalog modeling, such as appearing on a men's department store advertisement. They don't have to be a 10/10 high fashion model, just a conventionally hot 8/10 who wouldn't look out of place on a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/19 01:45 AM
8

Did they pay for dates?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 04:34 PM
9

If u feel a finger up ur ass when you didn’t ask for it! Is this something they've actually advised guy to do to test girls?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 02:11 PM
7

Ironically, he thinks the fact that he gets no matches is proof that women will die alone. He believes that he's getting back at older women by spoiling younger woman until they find a better guy to husband. Isn't that the very beta cuck behavior he's ranting against?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 02:41 AM
4

That's an oddly roundabout way to advertise for sugar babies...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 02:37 AM
14

the fact is that men are allowed to view their mid-40s right into their 50s as their prime. I get so annoyed at people for still using Brad Pitt as the paragon of male attractiveness. He is old and faded. He himself has said that his skin is increasingly saggy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 02:10 AM
16

First of all, congrats on your great career. I'm glad you are protecting your wealth. I see some great comments on this thread already, so let me add a few points: Fwb's should show more investment in your arrangement than the other way around. I always meet up with a potential fwb at a decent restaurant and he must graciously pay if we are to move forward. A guy who is stingy with his wallet will be stingy with his affection. If you guys book a hotel room, he must pay. Don't be afraid to be unu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 01:26 AM
32

They were saying that if a woman doesn't want to have sex within 6 dates then to get rid of her Yeah, because the users of both subs are trying to weed each other out. The anti-female subs only want to date weak-willed women with no self-respect, while we only want to date high value men who respect us. It's great that this sub is gaining popularity; the more women adopt these female oriented strategies, the less sexual opportunities those redpill men will have. All their power comes from the ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 10:14 PM
3

I don't have good experiences with military guys in general. (No offense to anyone here who has served)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 09:53 PM
23

I'm all for it. Studies show that marriages involving older women and younger men are healthier and less toxic than old guys and young girls. One of my good friends just got engaged to a handsome, successful man who is 4 years younger. Her ex, a balding older guy, is pissed and bitter about it. My best relationship was with a guy 3 years younger. We separated on good terms and I respect him a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 08:59 PM
3

Then this subreddit disgusts you to the core, because it does not have a blanket ban on porn. Move on and create your own subreddit if you can't deal with it. Stop conflating your own opinions with the official stance of this sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 04:27 PM
8

Agreed, it's better to find someone else at this point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 04:16 PM
1

Me too, my best friend's fiancé is soft-spoken and easygoing irl, but very assertive in the bedroom. It's common for ambitious, independent women to enjoy that kind of dichotomy in a partner. I think you are on the right track because you're improving your vetting abilities and holding guys to a higher standard. Once they are invested in you romantically, you can escalate the sexual side of the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 07:16 AM
6

I wouldn't say so, my friend vets guys better than anyone and she enjoys that type of choking (where the hand is close to the collarbone so it's safe). She is a resident doctor who is currently engaged to another resident doctor. They are both high value and the nicest people you will meet. She's always been kinky and enjoys being submissive in bed. You need to find a guy you can trust with that type of thing. Sexual acts outside of the standard norm need to be earned. Your partner needs to be v…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 05:17 AM
3

Agreed, female geared porn is better
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 02:23 AM
5

And it's always these guys that I have like great conversations with and a lot of chemistry even after meeting them. If a guy is a great conversationalist, he likely has good chemistry with a lot of different types of women. I usually try to observe what causes some people to be so great to converse with so I can improve my own social skills. Try meeting people in real life by expanding your social circle, making connections through your hobbies, and going to meet-ups if OLD isn't working for yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 02:19 AM
4

I've tried most of the tactics I've seen here on the guys I want but it's like if you don't have sex with them they lose interest, and if you make them wait they lose interest. You're probably attracting fuckboys that would lose interest either way, because they were only looking for something temporary to begin with. If you're having trouble vetting for the right guys, then just wait about 6-7 dates before doing anything sexual. If a guy is worthy and compatible, he will keep seeing you, becaus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 02:11 AM
4

Agreed, watching porn does not make you automatically anti-women. I started holding guys to a much higher standard in bed after watching porn that focused on female pleasure. I grew up in a conservative household and it helped me become more confident in my sexuality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 01:50 AM
5

I'm giving my opinion on a sub that does not have an official stance on porn. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. I've had a very different experience with porn than you have, and I posted one comment giving my thoughts. I'm not here to argue with everyone who disagrees, call them delusional, or make them feel unwelcome here. I understand there are different opinions regarding certain topics here, and I'm careful to be respectful in my language when I comment. It helps no one to have this subr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 01:38 AM
0

Agreed, it really depends on what type of porn someone is consuming. Not all of it is problematic industry-created porn that exploits people for gain. If a guy likes porn that focuses on female pleasure and portrays women respectfully, I don't have a problem with it. There are also healthy amateur couples that like posting their own material online, as well as female-positive production studios. My gay female friend in college used to enjoy porn created by lesbians and depicting f/f sexual relat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 12:11 AM
1

How about welding?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/19 07:23 PM
9

Lol I found this sub after someone complained about it on the braincels sub shortly before it was banned. Glad that mess of a sub was good for something
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/19 01:45 AM
26

“a lion does not concern itself with the opinion of sheep.” LOL redpill guys are more like grungy scavengers who follow after real predators, hoping that they can connive their way into reaping the benefits of being an actual lion. All they get at the end is the uneaten parts of the carcasses that they have to fight the rest of the vultures for
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/19 07:34 PM
39

that only unattractive women need dating advice and strategies. Then why does the advice here bother them so much if only "unattractive women" will follow it? Sounds like they are scared shitless that a revolution of female-oriented dating strategy will render their RP tactics useless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/19 07:28 PM
2

Yeah that would be fine. I might add in "I wish you luck with that whole non-monogamy thing lol" as a way to pretend to be polite, but actually showing derision towards the idea of him having multiple partners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/19 07:17 PM
7

You can ask him to watch your stuff when you go to the bathroom lol. Maybe segway into a conversation about grinding away for exams
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/19 06:51 PM
6

Exactly, moids use tactics to shame us from exercising our sexual options and prevent us from dumping men who are subpar in bed. They want us to be virgins who accept men who don't satisfy us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/19 06:46 PM
4

10/10 response
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/19 11:33 PM
6

That guy is her husband, isn't he? She didn't have the baby out of wedlock.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/19 01:19 AM
6

LOL I'm not much for "cock carousels", but I've ridden a lot of faces. Most guys would be surprised if they knew that about me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/19 10:47 PM
7

Most men (and women) assume that I have a very low n-count. My face and mannerisms give off a very innocent vibe. People will literally be surprised that I drink alcohol or curse lmao, much less be 420 friendly. In college, I even tried to convince people that I wasn't so innocent, and no one bought it. Men especially would always try to act like I was a straight-laced good girl all the time. I don't hang out with guys who even know what redpill is. I can always tell who has read TPR based on th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/19 10:05 PM
6

You need to level up and start attracting the type of men that will keep you interested. This means improving looks, personality, and opportunities. If you don't like guys you meet online for example, start going to places where you can meet people with similar hobbies or interests. Expand your social network and make your life more meaningful and vibrant. This will help you meet more quality people, including single men. Is it too much to ask for a convo after staying the night? Just appreciate…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/19 05:56 PM
2

Don't tolerate any texts that being with "So..." or "So,". It shows that the guy is being defensive about texting you. He could easily have asked you "Do you want to hang out?" instead of adding all that bullshit into the text. Either come at me correctly or not at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/19 05:11 PM
8

Do not do PiV without him going down on you for a decent amount of time. No licking, no sticking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/19 03:28 PM
6

Have him agree to only going down on you and nothing else for the next hookup. See how he acts towards you during and after the encounter. Turning his back is very rude and cannot be tolerated in any fwb situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/19 02:59 AM
13

He sounds like a snapchat buddy and nothing else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/19 02:02 AM
4

Work on your social skills and think about what your future plans are. Maybe start taking classes toward a degree or certification. It's good to have drive and accomplish things. It'll improve your self-confidence when talking to men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 10:59 PM
10

He doesn’t want to hear that. He’s not my rapist, so I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable. He sounds like the worst person ever. Please don't date anyone like him ever again. Don't fall for someone who is not attentive to you ever again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 10:55 PM
2

If someone were to ask, I would be like "at least....5", and leave it at that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 10:53 PM
30

Me too, this is the only sub giving real advice to women. Every other sub will be like "you should make the first move and communicate all your feelings to the guy!" whenever you ask questions on what to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 09:40 PM
25

Push his sexual boundaries a little by telling him you just want oral sex. He’s got to show he’s invested in pleasing you before you are willing to please him, and demonstrate he has sexual self control. I always do this with FWB's. I expect them to be extremely grateful to touch my body in a non-committal context. I like FWB's because I often do not care about their pleasure or feel guilty that they don't cum when we hang out together. Sometimes they do if I'm feeling particularly generous but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 09:29 PM
35

I often delete all contact information if I have the feeling the guy is not responding to my initial text, or not responding enthusiastically enough. This prevents me from double-texting in a weak moment. I also do this to guys who are playing texting games to force them to double-text me. That's what they get for trying to maintain leverage or not being invested in the text convo enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 04:29 AM
15

See this as a life lesson. If a guy does not ask for commitment within 2 months, drop him. As always, make sure you are dating in multiples so it's harder to get attached to just one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/19 09:34 PM
11

Lol this dude has been an out-of-shape, low-income blob for his whole life. He is desperately clinging on to this skewed study so he doesn't think he wasted most of his good years already. He wants to begin to "live his life to the fullest", which is code for "I've achieved absolutely nothing in my 40 years of existence."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/19 03:54 PM
11

This is also why I don't date balding dudes. I don't want light to reflect off their bald spot and hit my eye
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/19 02:39 AM
10

If young women keep dating older men, then men will continue being total fuckboys all through their 20s because they feel confident they can snatch up a younger woman once they are older. This allows them to hold the cards when it comes to commitment because they have time on their side and can continue dating younger all through their 30s. I refuse to date more than a couple years older than me out of principle. Men should not be able to pump and dump women for decades and then decide to have c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/19 02:20 AM
9

Just play it cool and don't invest too much in him. Go out with other guys too. If he is treating you very well you can just take it slow with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/19 02:13 AM
30

I don't ask guys if they go down because it implies that cunninglingus is not the expected norm. I rather ask them if they are good at going down so that they know oral is expected. Don't give them the impression that other guys don't do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/19 07:10 PM
6

What straight guy notices or cares about chipped nail polish
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/19 04:09 AM
2

Welcome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/19 05:56 AM
4

I wish we had some female dating bootcamps like the ones men have. Some of my female friends are total naturals and draw guys in like a magnet. For some of us, it has to be learned, and there aren't too many resources teaching us how to improve. I know you've tried going to places where men are, but I suggest continuing to look for new places to go to. Expanding your social network is a good thing and you never know when someone might introduce you. I've heard good things about online meetup gro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/19 05:28 AM
2

It probably has something to do with your approach. It's hard to say because we can't talk to you IRL. If you read pick-up advice for men, a lot of them have to be rejected hundreds of times before figuring out how to talk to women. It's not something everyone is born with. If loser guys can learn to consistently get numbers, so can you if you put the work in. Also, being thinner and getting bangs seems to help. I know that curtain bangs are in fashion this season. They make people look so much …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/19 05:11 AM
9

If you're not in a commitment yet, don't work too hard for it if he doesn't want it (when you asked) LOL "when you asked"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/19 01:09 AM
15

What type or remarks and questions are you getting? Most redpill guys don't believe in paying for dates until you 'earn' it, so it's easy to filter for if you only date men who pay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 06:49 PM
17

That's awesome that you found someone so amazing. Out of curiosity, how would you rate his physical attractiveness compared to your own?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 03:02 AM
18

Yeah I don't tolerate any racial comments. If a guy says something to me that he probably wouldn't say to a white girl, I immediately lose all respect for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 02:35 AM
2

Yeah I have this structured pink cardigan/jacket that I wear to work. It's hard to explain what category of outerwear it is but it photographs well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 01:32 AM
8

He was a black guy asking you how many black guys you dated?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 01:24 AM
38

He's not feeling attracted anymore because he realizes that he is a low value male, just like her exes. He had mistakenly thought that he must be high value for a woman to be a servant for him and pay for all his meals. He doesn't realize that she only does that because she has no standards. Redpill guys need to realize that a woman who is always submissive to your frame is not going to be someone they have respect for. But at the same time they can't handle a woman who does have any self-respec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 12:44 AM
2

Maybe he was bored and decided to text you. He probably didn't think too much into it, and neither should you. Learn from this and do better in the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 12:36 AM
15

No, don't use a bikini shot, and don't wear anything flowy in your pictures. Wear something relatively form-fitting and structured. Don't wear something that adds volume to your body because that makes you look frumpy in pics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 12:16 AM
5

Is it just dudes rating or both genders?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 12:12 AM
1

Especially because I like equally genuine men. I don't want to play the game where you ignore each other's texts to ???? That's actually exactly why I date in multiples. It allows me to filter for men who are open and sincere instead of playing games. Sometimes I don't have time to text the guys back right away, and this method allows me to see which guys will be petty and wait to text back. I hate guys who are tit-for-tat and afraid of showing interest. The whole point of female dating strategy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 12:04 AM
7

I used to work at a healthcare clinic and the diabetic patients were honestly sad to work with. Their bodies degrade over time because they refused to eat healthier and exercise more. This is a pivotal moment where you can change and live a better life. Sometimes when I feel hopeless, I think about my friend who died from a rare cancer at the age of 23. She would do anything to be in my (or your) position right now. Where there is still time and a good chance of changing your health for the bett…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/19 04:36 AM
4

It's okay to have some thickness, a lot of guys like that. If you can get to your goal weight you will see a huge increase in quality men who will treat you well. I recommend r/loseit. I'm pre-diabetic and I lost weight for my health, not just for guys. Also, be very happy your "flaw" is something that can be changed. If I could do something that increases my value by a huge amount (like weight loss), I would do it in a heartbeat. Your early 30s are a good time for dating so please do not be one…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/19 04:28 AM
132

I wonder why so many guys on Reddit say that they love when girls take the initiative and don’t like the chase Because it gives them a massive confidence boost. Enough confidence to eventually chase the girl that they do like
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/19 04:23 AM
5

I agree with the other poster that you need to try to just enjoy dating. If you're 100% gunning for a LTR, it can give off an unattractive vibe. Be carefree and enjoy getting to know people. Do this with multiple people and let the best man win. If you are having trouble matching, you may need to also increase your own value. Have your profile reviewed on the okcupid subreddit. Some women sabotage themselves with a badly written profile. If you have any weight to lose, lose it. I don't mean to o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/19 02:30 AM
6

You've only seen him twice?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/19 02:53 PM
5

Whenever I've done that in the past, some men will feel like I'm calling them out on their slow fade. They feel bad and say it's because work is super busy. They offer to go out on another date with me. Then they inevitably ghost/slow fade from there. Years ago, I even hooked up with a guy after asking why he wasn't as talkative. He gave and excuse, we hung out, and hooked up. He put so little effort into making me feel welcome at his place, because he barely wanted me there. I never felt so che…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/19 04:55 AM
6

I am so proud of you. I know you are going through a lot of sadness right now, and it might hit you in waves in the coming weeks, but I promise it will get better. Many times, dealing with asshole men are a part of our journey towards realizing who we are and what we want from our relationships. What boundaries we will set and what type of guy we want. Now you know how important it is to have a spine and apply you're logical personality to vetting men's behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/19 03:49 AM
21

The younger women they date will just cheat on them with a hot guy in his prime, probably a "Chad" that bullied them in high school.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/19 09:14 PM
1

I don’t like dating multiple people concurrently and I’m not going to change out of some attempt to bamboozle assholes who will only value me if I seem scarce. People with options are naturally valued more. This is why people who already have a good, well-paying job are valued more when interviewing for new jobs and negotiating salaries. When a recent interviewer asked if I had other offers lined up, I was vague but implied that I did. I purposely acted like I needed some time to make a decision…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/19 12:49 AM
5

Stop using snapchat. Use a burner phone number if you have to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/19 04:58 PM
8

She paid for her own coffee? Clearly not that good of a strategist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/19 04:30 PM
2

If you distance yourself and he asks why, say that you do like spending time with him but you feel a bit uncomfortable basically moving in with him when things are still up-in-the-air with what you guys are exactly. You can soften it by emphasizing how much you like him, and that being so close to him all the time can be confusing for you emotionally since you guys aren't actually together. And that you assumed he wanted to take things slow so that's why you've been keeping your options open. If…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/19 12:44 AM
25

It's actually a good thing that he laid it out so clearly. She now knows what not to do. It's good that they aren't together anymore or he would still be using her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/19 10:31 PM
5

Yeah it's best to beat around the bush or turn it into a vague/flirty joke to avoid revealing that it's a straight-up date. Either way, it's against female strategy to basically move in with a guy without him asking for commitment. You know that phrase "why buy the cow when the milk is free"? That phrase applies to you giving him girlfriend privileges (ie easy access to sex, domestic labor, emotional labor, etc) without him making it official with you. Right now you guys are just very good frien…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/19 10:27 PM
14

She should pull away and start dating other guys immediately. If he actually wants to make it official, he would chase her and make it happen. But I doubt it because it's been months and he didn't bother locking her down before. This is why it is paramount to see other people until a guy asks for commitment. If you don't, you will be devastated, which will make you bitter/defensive towards future prospects, which makes guys like you less. If a guy doesn't ask you to be his gf in about 2, max 3 m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/19 08:26 PM
33

They aren't afraid to show their interest in you. They don't mind making themselves vulnerable because they have innate confidence and do well with women. They don't purposely wait to text you back because they need you to show more emotional investment before they do. Pua guys pretend that they do this for strategy reasons, but it's because they've been rejected so often that they have become very petty/tit-for-tat with women that they go out with. Insecure men are defensive and always try to m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/19 08:15 PM
7

You shouldn't directly tell guys you are going on dates. He should assume based on your behaviors. I'll give you a more thorough response after work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/19 04:55 PM
1

Online dating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/19 04:52 PM
6

Yeah if they are older men who exclusively creep on younger women. I would NEVER treat an older guy this way if he prefers his same age counterparts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/19 04:51 PM
16

Maybe don't bring up that you won't have sex with them unprompted. Wait until they make a move and explain that you like to take your time getting to know someone before doing stuff. I personally prefer a slow escalation, like first kissing (3rd-4th date), then next date 2nd base, then eventually 3rd base for a while. I don't get as attached if it's not PIV and it allows me to gauge our sexual compatibility while also testing him to see if he slow fades after a couple weeks. If you aren't comfor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/19 11:42 PM
6

The most important part of the equation is building a roster of men to date, usually around 3. Continue replacing them if/when they fall out of rotation. I used to be a slave to my emotions, not rational at all. Redirecting my emotional energy towards multiple guys keeps my mind keen and able to see men's flaws clearly. Go to places where there may be guys to meet or flirt with. You might also want to try OLD if you are good at vetting. Make sure you use the best pictures that make you seem fun,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/19 07:13 PM
31

This isn't "today's males" - this is the specific contingent of bitter lonely guys who want us to feel a fraction of the pain they've felt everyday since entering puberty. They get really frustrated when the older women around them all seem just as confident as ever. Reality does not match what they read on mgtow forums, so they've taken to messaging women to "explain" that we don't have any options once we hit 30, because our experiences differ from their fantasy. None of these guys have actual…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/19 03:18 AM
4

Oh no baby what is you doin
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/19 03:03 AM
3

I was actually pointedly dating other guys at the same time as him to redirect my energy elsewhere so I wouldn’t get too invested too quickly. It helped A LOT in the end. I'm proud of you for not letting him dominate all of your emotional energy and maintaining a roster. It's hard but I try to see each negative experience as a learning opportunity for how to better spot red flags in the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/19 02:54 AM
3

After a quick glance at your post, this sounds like a guy who follows a generic "how to sweep women off their feet" dating script. I never trust people who try to seem perfect in everyway in the beginning. I'm a very grounded person so I sense it instinctually when the other person is trying to create something fantastical. I usually just enjoy the attention but I make sure to talk to other men to keep myself from getting overly attached, because he'll soon pull the same moves with someone else.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/19 02:28 AM
18

I wouldn't want to be friends with older men who specifically prefer younger women. They would have to be serving some sort of need for me. Doing my taxes, buying me things, etc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/19 02:56 PM
14

Before that i decided to go monk mode Lol implying that it's voluntary
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/19 06:17 AM
11

"men are the only ones who get shit done" lmao all they are doing is whining/bitching as usual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/19 04:38 AM
3

When is it going to get shut down? Right now it says 'quarantined' still.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/19 04:36 AM
47

Most of the stats they post are outdated and skewed. The most popular one they love posting (showing all men preferring 20 year olds) has been disproven even by okcupid itself. I think it was using mean or something and was skewed compared to the new median-based measurements. You also can't trust studies that don't account for the dramatic increase in single motherhood and weight gain with age. If a woman stays fit and childless in her 30s, she will have no problem. I only mention weight becaus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/19 01:42 AM
8

Women become harder and harder as time goes, evtually turning into a lifless rock Only when contaminated by low value men such as yourself. while men transform swiftly and do everything to sustain their status. LOL you never had status and you never will. You fantasize everyday about 'transforming' into a high value male but you will die a loser. You will NEVER find real fulfillment in life, because you were worthless from the day you were born. You will now probably stew in anger and type out a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/19 04:31 PM
15

Women age like honey. Men age like a cheap bag of franzia wine. Edit: The tears of beta boys getting triggered by this comment are fulfilling my soul. Funny how it's the biggest failures who cling to the notion that their value will improve decades into the future. High school sucked for them, the girls are ignoring them in college, everyone else is having a great time except them. They convince themselves that the early 20s are supposed to suck for every guy except Chad, even though it only suc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/19 04:10 PM
2

I haven’t been getting many matches and honestly the ones I get are because I’ve lowered my standards-and I didn’t have high ones to begin with. This is taking a huge hit to my confidence and I’m thinking maybe I should just give up? It usually comes down to choice of photos, quality of photos, lighting, and what you are doing in the photos. Dating apps are a very visual medium and it's important to maximize how great you look in the pictures. I'm not very photogenic but I've often used a curlin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/19 03:34 PM
14

And how is that working out for you? and especially if I sleep with one, even though I try to force myself to follow the “rule”, I just cannot get myself to want to talk to anyone else. This is literally the worst time to stop talking to other guys. Men who 'game' women will tell you that the moment they sleep with a woman the power shifts over to their court. This is when a lot of women start losing the guys they are dating, which is why so many girls say that guys lose interest after sex. In a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/19 09:07 PM
33

He does not make you a priority at all. Dating him will condition you from an early age to accept terrible behavior from men. Dump him now and don't take him back ever, even if he does say he changed. Let his female best friend deal with his unwashed ass. When it comes to improving SMV, you shouldn't be trying too hard until you are at least 18. At only 16, it's mostly about keeping a healthy weight, a nice haircut, and avoiding weird experimental make-up techniques. Do not try to become prettie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/19 07:10 PM
5

I noticed this line in your post history: "Whatever he wants, he gets as I believe women are there to serve men." Any woman who thinks like this is not going to choose the right men. And anyone who says they are "literally never in a bad mood" is lacking self-awareness. Just because you think you guys click doesn't mean the guys share your opinion. If you say you "don't talk a lot", work on being more personable and chatty. However, that's not going to be enough to change your dating life since …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/19 05:49 PM
2

If dozens of guys are willing to pay for everything and treat you well for a long time without sex, you are already ahead of most women. Most girls on the okcupid sub say the fuckboys get filtered out within 3 dates because they aren't willing to wait. It could be because you are very attractive (being an ex model), so that's what initially made them interested, but your personalities didn't click that well once they got to know you better. This happens to some of my friends who are pretty but n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/19 01:34 AM
8

When the terp guys employ these strategies, they often filter for the most immature women with self esteem issues, and it ends up reinforcing their problematic ideas about women in a malicious cycle. Even the PUA guys have noticed that famous pick-up artists often go for a specific type of women, and their advice is geared towards that one type of woman. They try to act like our advice only works for the most insecure/lame men, but they are just projecting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/19 01:20 AM
25

Exactly, they know that their PUA strategies depend on women being uninformed and naïve. They love that their male-centered advice is spreading across the internet, but they forget that there's bound to be a counter wave of women who advocate for female-oriented strategies at some point. The fact that they get so annoyed at this one small subreddit means that there is truth being preached here that is dangerous to their cause. They know that most of us can get dates 10x easier than them, and tho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/19 01:06 AM
4

Did he ask for commitment before you guys had sex? If not, you never should have exclusively dated him. Always have at least 3 men on your roster at all times, especially if you plan on having sex with one of them. The other 2 men vying for your attention is what takes the edge off of slow fades and keeps the power in your court, even after sex. If you had been dating other guys, you also wouldn't have invested so much so soon in terms of talking every night on the phone. It makes you seem overl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/19 10:38 PM
10

Can you quote an actual convo where you used laughter effectively? It helps me if I can picture a specific situation where you are doing this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/19 01:49 AM
3

Absolutely, they aren't used to women outplaying them at their own game, and it makes them furious. I hope more and more women start employing these strategies and using them against mgtow/rp guys, especially when dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/19 10:54 PM
9

It’s hard but you have to pass that test You should not be thinking about it as "passing a test". Women should be valuing their own freedom to date multiple men, so that they do not even feel the inclination to demand too much time/investment from any particular guy. You should always be living your best life and the men should be the ones demanding time from you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/19 10:27 PM
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