https://np.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dqptsw/how_do_i_get_over_my_ltr_who_i_dumped/

Here's a copy of the post:

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How do I get over my ltr who I dumped

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I had a long distance relationship with a girl in grad school for 1.5 years-ish. I really liked her but it was my first relationship and I made some mistakes by cheating on her twice. I learned from them and will never repeat them in a future relationship but the damage was done- we were fighting so much cause she didn't trust me. I broke up with her 2 months ago and regret it so much because I'm so lonely now man. The week days aren't terrible because I have work to occupy my mind, but the weekends are so hard because that was our time together. I ran back to her a week after dumping and she was so happy to hear from me but I still wasn't fully committed to her so she backed away. I just needed more space to realize how I felt. I then went into chase mode and sent her a few long texts since then and she was generally cold. She hasn't initiated contact once since we split I've always been the one who reached out. I don't blame her I mean I dumped her so I can't expect her to be the one pushing the reconciliation. But I'm just accepting now that it's over and it fucking sucks. I took her for granted for sure.

My friends are all my age (27) and most are wife-d up or not wanting to chase pussy with me or really do anything besides hang out with their girlfriends. So I don't really do too much now for social activities I just work all the fuckin time.

How does a girl go from being madly in love and so scared I would dump her to being able to move on in 2 months? I guess it doesn't matter but I'm curious. And how can I feel now like my world is crashing down on me when for 2 weeks after our split I was like 50/50 on whether it was good to even try and get back with her? Is it just the fact that we all want what we can't have?

I've been going to the gym religiously since we split. I'm making progress in there but honestly I've been motivated by the fact that I hope she sees the new me and takes me back. But I deleted her on all social media so she doesn't even have a way to see the progress I'm making. I banged a chick last weekend that was hotter than her but I didn't even get her number afterwards and generally it just made me feel worse

I know I have a horrible case of oneitis, but it's fuckin hard to get over this. I have these mood swings where I'll be fine/calm and be able to see the big picture, and then something will remind me of her and I'll crash down into a paralyzing depression and feel like I fucked up so bad by not sticking with someone who loved me so much. She wasn't perfect- she was kind of a slut before we started dating and her body was only decent but I'm no saint either.

Any tips are appreciated. I honestly just want her back so I can get my focus back on work and the thought of having to date again and get to know someone is scary to me. My honest feelings right now are that I need to have someone who I like that I'm fucking or I'm a low self esteem mess. I know I'm acting like a beta male pussy here but the feelings are real and powerful.

Since she seemingly has moved on from me so fast does that mean she wasn't as into me as I thought? Again I know it doesn't matter but I'm just curious. Her friends are def. telling her never to talk to me again too but man this shit blows. I really regret breaking up with her. I know I have to keep using this as fuel but sometimes its hard to just get through the day. Feeling shitty day in and day out is so exhausting and draining.

I know this is a vent post but can you guys please talk some sense into me

TL;DR

Dumped gf, regretted it and chased, she moved on and now I feel like the one who got dumped and it's destroyed my confidence

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