~ archived since 2018 ~

What makes a HVW a HVW?

throwrapompom · 2020-01-29T23:10:24+00:00

I am new to this subreddit and I read the handbook and everything. Something I didn't see that much detail on is, what should I bring to the table to be...

throwrapompom

January 29, 2020

16 upvotes

/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

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Post Information

Title	What makes a HVW a HVW?
Author	throwrapompom
Upvotes	16
Comments	11
Date	January 29, 2020 11:10 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/evv6ou/what_makes_a_hvw_a_hvw/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-makes-a-hvw-a-hvw.694265 https://theredarchive.com/post/694265

Comments

[–]AyemHerselfFDS Disciple19 points20 points21 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Shorse_riderFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Shorse_riderFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I relate to this so much.

Your first point - I have over-extended so much in the past. I've completely neglected myself in order to make relationships work. It's not really an approval thing for me, it's more of a fear of friction. I dread disagreements even though they are a natural part of life. I was in an abusive relationship where the consequences of me disagreeing, we not worth the risk. So now..I default into little miss agreeable and it's so bad. And you know what, it's so f*cking unattractive too. Nobody wants some doormat.

And to your second point... I guess no matter how attached we allow ourselves to get, we must ALWAYS maintain our sense of self. You can love someone unconditionally but you should remember who YOU are, what your needs are and what isn't natural for you. And step away when you've acknowledged what isn't right. Empathy needs a boundary too. Without it, it is self destruction and YOU disappear. Kindly letting the relationship end...my god is so hard. But necessary.

[+][deleted] 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]Shorse_riderFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]cannedboelynFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]cannedboelynFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]CuriousCatNYC777Ruthless Strategist0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link