I added the discussion flair to this because I’d love to know if any other fellow FDSers use this strategy, and if it’s worked for them! Sorry if this is something that’s been posted about before :)

So something I’ve found very useful for self-growth and mindset shifting has been my social/relationship journal. I’ll list the sorts of things I put in it below (feel free to just skim or glance):

  • a general record of how I am feeling about specific people or relationships currently going on in my life
  • reflections about my relationship to MYSELF, and how I am allowing other people to impact it
  • specific interactions and how I responded, how I wanted to respond, and how I “should” have responded to the words, behaviors, and underlying ATTITUDES of the other person
  • lists of my boundaries, standards, and personal rules for dating, friendships, and other relationships (work, acquaintances, mentors..) and WHY those rules and standards and boundaries are important to ME
  • my goals for future relationships (romantic or otherwise) and why those goals are reasonable, vital, and healthy (affirmation)
  • things I love about myself, then things I love about my loved ones and how I can embrace those things
  • lots and lots of non-judgmental self reflection on the how, why, when, and what of the way I expect and allow myself to be treated; I look at where those attitudes stem from, if they are healthy or unhealthy, and how to align them with self-respect and self-compassion

There are a lot more I could list, but I’m not trying to bore anyone!

I have found that this journal is the single most helpful tool I have for keeping myself safe, rational, and aligned when it comes to MY relationship to MYSELF. At the end of the day, all other relationships stem from that one. People might say it’s self-focused or obsessive to keep a journal like this, but this is FDS and we don’t have time for that BS. This is about me loving myself, wanting what’s best for me, AND becoming the friend, lover, and caretaker I’ve always known I can be...for my own damn self.

When you have a history of trauma, low self esteem/insecurity, or general pickme behavior/standards, nonjudgmental but honest self-reflection is probably THE only way you can begin to move forward for yourself.

Do any of you keep journals like this? What kinds of things do you write in it? Has it helped you in achieving your goals?