The following is a comment by /u/odinh153 from a discussion on menslib.

The problem is that toxic masculinity is basically the only kind that's discussed in progressive spaces outside this sub. As a result, the overall discourse comes across as demonizing men even if you ignore the people that outright say that all men are bad.

This leads to a huge cohort of young men (myself included) who have grown up with the internet and progressive spaces in general constantly treating them as inherently bad for being born male. "Teach boys not to rape" inherently carries he assumption that all boys are just rapists-to-be. Basically every discussion of consent treats it purely as a thing that men need to get from women. The list goes on and on.

Just because it isn't explicit doesn't mean it isn't a problem. This is why I don't identify as a feminist even though I agree with them on basically every issue. I just don't feel welcome in a movement that treats me as a predator until proven otherwise.

In case you only care about things that hurt women, this rhetoric is likely the root cause behind a lot of the right-wing groups that recruit young men. Growing up with it gave me the internalized view that my sexuality is both invalid and inherently predatory, so I had better bury it deep inside and ignore it as much as possible.

I managed to avoid them, but a lot of young men had the same problem and got sucked into the alt-right by groups that gave them validation for the first time and used that to lead them into misogyny and racism.

Additionally, it creates a selection bias that makes men who don't care about making women uncomfortable more likely to approach women. Since cultural norms require men to initiate everything in dating, this leads to a dating environment that incentivizes ignoring women's feelings, thereby creating a more and more toxic environment for women.

TLDR: even if you ignore the explicit demonization, there's plenty of implicit assumptions that men are bad by default, which leads to a whole pile of negative consequences for everyone

And this is a comment from further down in the same thread by /u/purpleleaves7

If I recall correctly, the mythopoeic men's movement was very big into drum circles in the woods and various other kinds of ritualized male bonding. So when they spoke of "toxic masculinity," it was always clear that they had a vision of positive masculinity.

But if a group talks constantly about "toxic masculinity", and never talks about any vision of postive masculinity, then I start to wonder if they believe that essentially all masculinity is toxic.

Or to phrase it another way, if a pit bull owner says, "Careful, the dog down the street is a dangerous pit bull," I assume that they believe in friendly, well-trained pit bulls, too.

But if someone always says "dangerous pit bull" and never says "pit bull" without "dangerous" in front, I assume they probably think all pit bulls are dangerous.

and reading this not only made me think. It reminded me of an article I was linked to.

https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/08/31/radicalizing-the-romanceless/

It's a long read. And kinda needlessly critical of feminism. But I do think it does a good job of showing how toxicity in the ways we talk about men can push them to right wing ideologies and radicalization.

I think it's important that we tackle these things in a civil manner. Through education and softly affirming how these things can be harmful to everybody. The language we use is important.