This article interested me for two reasons, which more or less overlap.

First, I have had more or less the same experience, not on apps like Tinder but on more 'serious' dating sites. Telling a woman about your life story, your feelings, your taste, how you think about relationships, the meaning of life, even some personal vulnerable facts - it is not even that difficult (though, paradoxically, in most of the cases you'd better not talk about sexuality, no matter how personally important that is for you. On many sites, you can even be banned for 'sexually suggestive remarks'). And when you both put some effort into it, all this open and personal communication may very soon give you the impression you've found the soulmate you always were looking for. I once had a contact that was so much fun, whenever one of us had nothing to do she/I went looking if the other was online. Then, every time when we met in real life, with every woman, the whole thing fell flat on its face. I often still wanted to give it a chance, although I also was a bit disappointed - she, all those she's, very quickly put an end to it and they may not always have been wrong.

It makes me think of something bigger, that haunts me the last few years. I grew up in a period where 'real communication' and 'real contact' with others were supposed to be exactly that: endless talks about serious, profound issues. While, looking back, I must conclude these talks can be very useful, but more in a therapeutic way than being the core business of my closest contacts, whether with men or women. The girls I made love to weren't necessarily girls who had profound visions about the world or about feelings, and often that didn't matter much. Sometimes we did have an adolescent pseudo-profound talk to give each other the feeling we weren't doing anything superficial.

I think this also had/has to do with the taboo on 'objectifying' girls. You were not allowed to want sex just because you thought somebody attractive, so you made up something with deeper content around it. And though it may be important to have things in common in a relationship, and it may even have its advantages for casual sex, language is just one (not a small one, but just one) of the features of the closest and most important contacts in your life. That was what I recognized in this story.

https://quillette.com/2018/01/17/tinder-tyranny-language/