So yah, I'm pissed. What about it? I've put up with a number of months of unsuccessful dating and I've had enough. I know that venting to internet wont help anything, it's like screaming at a rock for being lazy. But you know what? I'm still gonna do it! Because if it makes me feel just that little bit better, it's worth it.
Where should I start? Online or offline? There's so much to say it's hard to decide. How about offline dating, it seems like the slowest gazelle in this stampede. Such a waste of time. Unless you are one of the many sheep out there who are simply looking for another warm body to occupy the space near you as you snore away a few hours after wheezing on top of each other, you will not find anyone worth a damn in a bar. And even if that's all you're looking for you're still rolling the dice. Big, nasty, VD-laden dice. In my recent delving I've dredged up more 'married' women, prostitutes and actual psychotics than I've met in the rest of my normal waking life.
This is what I can't stand the most. I see a girl, she came into the bar alone and she sits there watching the band with feigned interest. Her eyes dart around the bar occasionally; I can tell she's looking for attention. I buy her a drink and we begin to talk. She's got an alright job, lots of hobbies, a good house. Sounds like a good girl with things going on in her head, and I'm excited. The second drink is bought and as though summoned by accepting whatever shit specialty beer she's given, her husband enters the conversation with a throbbing vengeance: "My husband does this, that and the other thing. And he's such a great guy"
He certainly must be to put up with your two-timing ass. He must also be a no-esteem rube to think you're being saintly on your weekly trips to the local dick-corral. That nice place you have? The time you have to build and enjoy your hobbies? That house you love so much? It's not paid for by your cashier job at WagaBag. Its probably paid for by your husband who is at home blissfully unaware that you're trolling for dick to tickle that artesian well of a vagina you own.
I know some of you (womenfolk) out there are shaking their heads and saying "she's only saying that to you because she's not interested." Good for her. I had the same excuse presented to me by a couple friends of mine. The strange thing was that with all of them, their next little nugget of information was that "women appreciate honesty". Really now? That pans out in neither of the scenarios that end with these girls talking about their 'husbands'. Lets say that the girl isn't married and is just using a made up husband to scare me away. Why? If you 'valued honesty' like my girl friends say, you would tell me you weren't interested in some way that doesn't make me question your fundamental values. Men like straightforward, concrete answers. Variables make us uneasy. But then let's say she's actually married. She's not wearing her ring. None of them have been wearing a ring so far. "Honesty"? So she's just here to get free drinks. You know what? Fuck you. You have a husband at home that (hopefully) works his ass off to provide for you and whatever cunt-spawn you've hurled out into this world before he met you. If you're so unhappy and feel so unloved that you need to go out and mislead others into giving you attention, you've got problems to work through. Don't involve me and waste my beer money.
What are you here for married girl? You want attention? Your husband tired of your fat, tired ass? Fuck you. Try harder. How about that online dating? Oh that's about as fun as a bag half full of used razors and herpes scars. Here's where the double standard really rears its ugly fucking head. One thing I've seen more often than not is girls who describe themselves as BBW's that are only interested in young, fit guys. How does that work? If the genders were reversed, it'd be like a pimply 30 year old who's never ingested a liquid without corn syrup living in his mom's basement only dating swimsuit models. But for some reason this kind of "I want something overly specific no matter what reality says" attitude is something girls can get away with. It starts when they are kids, and gets worse from that point on in my opinion. Another example. I've worked with a number of girls who have that "queen bitch" attitude. They take pride in their bitchiness. They have a number of T-shirts between them that sport such stirring anthems as "Super Bitch" and "Look out, Bitch coming through!" How would that roll if a man were to have a similar shirt? I highly doubt a man could get two steps in the door with a shirt that said "Complete Asshole" in big bold letters on the front. Or maybe "Doesn't pay child support"? What about that one? Nope? Didn't think so. Noone thinks such an attitude is endearing in a man. Why should we with women? First off, I never hear back from anyone. At all, ever. I know I'm nothing special, but really? I've gotten responses from three people. That's not three people on one site, that's three people over every site I've signed on. I mean, that's not including gay or bi men, but still. One of those three? Still the most curteous girl yet. Told me that she was glad to hear from me, however she doesn't date white men. I wanted to give her a medal and a donkey.
Like I said, I'm nothing special to look at, but at the same time I'm not sending out messages like "hur, you're hawt. I wanna put mah weiner in your bun". I've spent time looking through profiles, finding interesting things to bring up and talk about. You say on your page you want someone interesting to talk to? I'm doing it. I can even see when you check out my profile and then nothing. Did I write my profile wrong? Do I have bad grammar? Is there an ethereal serpent latched around my neck that only you can see? I don't know. I can't fucking know because you don't tell me.
What about those good old lines I see so often on girls pages? There's that whole "only dates fit men" girl that's the size of two touring buses of course. How about this one: "I want to be treated with respect" in the same paragraph as "I only date black men". Hate to get all racist on your ass, but you can't have both in most cases. I'm white yes, but I grew up as a minority in the south. I know what black men think of white women because I grew up deep inside that culture. Most black men date white women because they put up with bullshit better than black women. A black woman would slap the shit out of a black man for the kinds of shit I hear from my mixed race neighbors.
You can't have it both ways. That's got to be the first thing I teach any daughter I have. I see too many girls online that are "highly opinionated" and yet they "want to be treated like a princess". Guess what sweety!? Princesses had posh lives but their voice means jack and shit. And jack left town. You can be a princess in my house, but don't expect me to care if you whine when I act like a king.
"If your profile picture is just a dick, don't waste my time". Really? You're on a fucking site for and about sex! Not only should you expect dicks to fly at you with a mouse-click, you have a filter function that can block out all the nasty pictures. Fuck you for not being informed and proactive and subsequently placing the responsibility on me. But on that subject, what about those girls with the overly specific wants and needs? "Only wants a white male between the heights of 5'8" and 5'9", must be able to juggle two pins and a chainsaw at once"... why? can't get off with a three pin juggler? Fuck you. You know what? You'll never be happy because you are looking for exactly the same thing that let you down before and led you back to dating online. Eat that and love the taste of it. "I want to be pampered and taken care of by a loving man"... How would you react if a man posted on his page "You will make me sandwiches on the hour and suck my dick every time I fart"? Probably wouldn't be appealing. Take a fucking hint. Men aren't free tickets to the easy life. But if you find yourself with one of those men, you best damn appreciate it. He'll turn on your ass like a fucking PCP cobra.

So in conclusion, there is no conclusion. Dating sucks ass and I'm tired of it. I should just be like all the other dumb hicks out there and not expect much from people. But even then I've not met anyone I would trust in my house even for a fire inspection. Hope you bastards have a grand damn life.