Advice needed!

astuteglute · 2019-03-09T21:29:29+00:00

Get a sitter

tdh792 · 2019-03-09T22:25:23+00:00

You have a health condition that would make it really difficult for you to care for her during weekdays. Maybe it's not a bad thing. You lose your weekends but you can focus on career and maximize your time with your daughter.

It will be much better when she's older. The ex will have to deal with school, after school daycare, transport, parent-teacher interviews, activities, etc..

It may seem like she screwed you over but in a few years your ex-wife will beg you to take more of the burden. I say lock in the deal now and make her beg you for the change.

Maximum_Afternoon · 2019-03-09T21:56:31+00:00

Please clarify. What do you do about which of the half dozen problems you've mentioned?

profesor_chaos · 2019-03-10T03:17:40+00:00

Do you have a custody agreement? If not, get one.

Document every overnight. If you have her 12+ overnights a month, this is considered joint physical custody in most states.

Research the laws in your state that define what joint custody is. Prove to the judge that you meet the requirements. Ignore any threats or claims that the ex makes. She doesn't matter.

File a complaint for modification. If you have a documented pattern of 50/50 overnights a month, the court will grant you joint custody. A consistent living situation is in the best interest of the child.

The judge will then give you some time to negotiate a parenting agreement. I currently have a 2/5/2 schedule. Child with me every Mon & Tue, child with mom every Wed & Thu. We alternate every Fri, Sat, Sun.

My ex refused to negotiate on anything. We Went in front of the judge. I made my case (no lawyer, just facts). Judge agreed and granted joint physical and legal custody.

Got reduced child support and a legally defined schedule. I'm still getting fucked with child support but it was a lot worse when she had full custody.

Once the agreement was legally binding, when my ex started asking me to watch daughter on her nights. I calculated the amount I'm forced to pay her per overnight. I told her she needed to pay me $80 anytime she wants me to keep her on her overnight. She never asked again.

C_PTR_0x001 · 2019-03-09T21:24:29+00:00

What do you mean by "me" time ? You opted out of your "me" time when you decided to engage in a relationship with that women. Until your girl grows up this is your life...

Accept it and learn to live with it. Otherwise jail awaits.

Socrunk · 2019-03-09T21:36:14+00:00

"Me time" goes out the window when you have a kid. You need to address the anxiety and health issues and find resolutions to those. The less overnights you have, generally the more child support you will have to pay. And you don't want the courts to get involved and give you even less time with your child because you need more "me time."

ThrowawayGhostGuy1 · 2019-03-09T22:27:55+00:00

Wait, but you’re MGTOW. That means you’re just bitter you can’t get laid, right? Aren’t we all just incels?

RPdOF · 2019-03-10T00:38:37+00:00

I say address the gut issues. If you're not getting out of bed 4 hours early you can sleep later then do WTFE after work.

I had metabolic syndrome and abdominal sepsis that almost killed me. It took ~2.5 long, hard years but I fixed it with diet and exercise and got off all 30 meds.

Start researching how to eat and what's really in your food. Watch "What the Health" and go down the rabbit hole. I know, I'm telling you to do something else you don't have time for. But right now you're stuck with the snake eating it's tail. You need to break the cycle.

I recommend you do by taking control of your health. It will benefit you and your daughter in the long run.

I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on TV.

Dr.s kill people.

I had to stop listening to their bullshit. I had to stop taking their toxic "medicines" that could make my asshole fall out.

Also address the anxiety: Yoga (at home look at youtube, good stuff on amazon prime too and probably netflix). Martial arts (look around, in most metro areas if you're a good guy / not an asshat you can find a couple of old guys who teach in the park for free bc they don't want the knowledge lost. It helps. I speak from experience.) Medical marijuana (edibles, smoking anything is bad, make your own if your gut issues are that bad. I have to.)

Take control of your life.

Good luck brother.

Older_Miggy · 2019-03-09T22:27:20+00:00

As another poster said, you pretty much kiss me time goodbye when you have a kid.

Based on your comment, you have weeknights after work for me time, even with the commute. What's going on there?

We all get anxious about something. Deal with it.

Title	Advice needed!
Author	jonsludge
Upvotes	6
Comments	28
Date	March 9, 2019 9:17 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/az87z2/advice_needed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/advice-needed.501117 https://theredarchive.com/post/501117

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